EP107- Autistic, I'll take your word for it....

Why do autistic people take things at face value… and how can that actually put us at risk?

In this episode of Mad About, I’m sharing a very real (and slightly painful 😅) story about accidentally ending up in the wrong gym class… and how that spiralled into a much bigger realisation about trust, neurodivergence, and the way we process information.

We talk about:

•  Why autistic and ADHD brains often lead with trust, not suspicion 
•  How miscommunication happens and why we don’t always question it 
•  The link between people-pleasing, RSD, and not speaking up 
•  The dangers of taking things at face value in the online business world 
•  Why I refuse to promise “six-figure results” (and what I will promise instead) 

This one gets into the real talk about smoke and mirrors in the business space, how to spot red flags, and why having the right support around you matters more than buying another shiny course.

If you’ve ever trusted someone and thought “hang on… was that actually right?” — this episode is for you.

Come for the gym fail, stay for the life and business reality check 💥

Follow me @maddytalksmoney on Instagram

@madaboutmoneyofficial on TikTok

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Mad About. I'm Maddy Alexander Grout, and this is the podcast where we talk about all things that we are mad about. Mad can mean so many different things. It can mean passionate, it can mean enthusiastic, it can be special interests and hobbies, it can be mad raging, it can be mad angry. Like mad has so many different ways of showing up in our worlds. And this podcast is for neurodivergent people. It's about neurodivergent experiences when it comes to money, life, and business. And today I want to talk about why I'm so mad about autistic people, well, me in general, and like just all of us, like why do we take people's word on face value? So I had a little bit of an interesting experience at the weekend where it was quite funny, really. I went to the gym for the first time in a really, really long time. And basically, I've started paying for a really expensive gym because I know that if I'm paying for an expensive gym, I will actually motivate myself to go because otherwise I don't want to lose the money. So anyway, I rock up, I have my tour, anyway. There was so much to take in, and I'd registered for a class which was stretch and mobility, and I thought to myself, right, you know, this is going to be really gentle, it's going to be some like gentle stretches and like some really small things that I can do to increase my mobility. And because of the fact that I've I've got a trap nerve in my back and I've been in a lot of pain recently, I thought, you know, this is going to be a way to like ease myself in gently. I was so wrong. So as we were walking up to um up to the fitness class, like we got lost. We couldn't find where we were supposed to be going. So I there was a lady and my mum said to her, like, Do you know the way to studio too? And she was like, Yes, I do. Follow me, we're we're going this way. So this woman took us to the studio, we got set up for the fitness class, and as we got there, they were like, Um, yeah, so you just need to get your weights and the step and all of the things that you need out of the cupboard, and we were like, and as an autistic person, I was just like, I hate it when plans change, and it's like it wasn't what I expected it to be. So I was just completely thrown. Anyway, I ploughed myself into this fitness class. I'm in a world of pain today, like it's just been horrendous. Like, I'm so achy. I had a bath last night, but I'm just like, oh, I mean, it was proper, like banging music, like weight lifting, like weights over your head, weights like down here, and then stepping and press-ups and all sorts of things. And I'm like, if this is stretching and mobility, like fuck this, I do not want to do this at all. So, anyway, I came away from the gym class and I felt really good actually. The endorphins were running, I was thinking, you know, actually, this is really great. Um, I feel like I've done a proper workout, and actually, I've done 28 zone minutes on my Fitbits. I was like, Yeah, this is all cool. Anyway, got home, went and like did some kit things with the kids, like tidied the house a bit, and then I thought I'll have a nap. I woke up from my nap and I had a message from uh from my friend Rihannan, who is a brilliant fitness specialist in the ADHD and autism space. And Rihanna said to me, Maddie, it's really weird that they'd make you use weights for stretch and mobility. That sounds really strange. And I was like, Well, yeah, it did seem really not like not what I'd signed up for. It was really strange. So anyway, I uh I went and had a look in the um the David Lloyd app, and it turns out that there was also another class called Strength and Conditioning. And I'm pretty sure that what had happened is that when we asked the lady the way to straight to Studio 2, she misheard what my mum said, and we actually went to uh strength and conditioning, which was not stretch and mobility at all, but we took this lady's word for it. She told us that she knew the way, so we followed her. And it's got me thinking like as autistic people, we do take people's words at face value because we just we interpret the information and we go, oh, that's information, cool, like that's that's fab. We'll we'll we'll roll with that because it's gone into our brains. Like, we lead with trust, we don't lead with suspicion, we don't ever think, like, oh, that person might not be telling us the truth. And you know, this lady wasn't like lying to us on purpose, like she just probably either misheard us or there was a miscommunication somewhere. But we don't suspect that people are gonna be telling us the wrong thing, right? And the nuances of it all, it can be like really exhausting. So, you know, if we are constantly on our guard and constantly questioning every single thing all the time, then we're never gonna know what is actually right and what's not. So we do believe the truth. And we recognize patterns, don't we? So, like when we're when we're we're sort of hearing these words, it's like if somebody says yes, I know the way, we go, they know the way. Because why why wouldn't why wouldn't we? Like, and then you know, we have the whole rejection sensitivity thing that that takes part, you know. We we don't want to go, oh, she's told us the way to studio two, and actually we're gonna go to a different studio because we don't believe her, because that would give us RSD. Anyway, so the upside of it was the fact that like now I know that stretcher mobility isn't this fucking hardcore, like banging workout that I actually did, and I'm even more proud of myself for doing that workout. Now I'm kind of like, well, actually, we do, we really do take people's people's things on face value, you know. In the business world, um, we we follow all these gurus who are telling us that they're making like seven figures or multi-six figures or whatever. Um, and we trust that. We're like, oh, that person, we don't have any reason to to distrust the fact that somebody is telling us that they are making all of this money. Why don't we question that? And that's because our brains are not there to lead with suspicion. We are there to go, oh, okay, well, if somebody's told me that, then it must be true. So this is why when I'm teaching my courses, my programmes, I never ever ever guarantee that people will make a specific amount of money. Because I can't. Like, it's up to you. I guarantee that I'm gonna give you visibility, I guarantee that I'm gonna give you support and motivation and accountability and all of the things that are gonna help you to move your business forward. And as a result of all of those things, it's very likely that you're gonna make more sales, it's very likely that you're gonna increase your audience and you're gonna be able to sell better. I teach you how to do that, but I can't ever guarantee that I am going to say to you, come and join my program and you're gonna be a multi-six, multi-seven figure business owner, because it's just not fact. And as an autistic person, I can't go out there saying that, knowing that it's not necessarily true. So everybody I work with, coaching clients, like I work with people one-to-one, I have people in my really low-cost membership, the core, which is£10 a month, by the way. So if you want to come and check it out, um, yeah, it's for not just for business owners, we talk about all sorts of things: money, life, business. It's basically your really low-cost like support and way cheaper than coaching, but you do get access to me. Um, but we talk about all these kind of things, like why, like why it's so important when you are autistic or you've got ADHD to actually run big decisions past people. So don't just sign up for a course, don't sign up for a program just because somebody has said to you this is going to make you loads of money. There is no such thing as a get rich quick scheme. I can guarantee you I've been in the business world for 10 years now and I've been through every situation possible. And sometimes it is really hard to make money. Sometimes, even like when you are stupidly visible, it can be really difficult because there's so many nuances and so many moving parts to a business. So before you make a decision on a business course or anything, even if you kind of trust that person, even if you've seen their social media and you think, oh, this person could help me, don't just take their word for it. Go and check out their LinkedIn recommendations. Ask people you know who have worked with them. Because the thing is, like none of my clients would say, I really hate working with Maddie because she promised me something that I didn't get. Because I don't promise people they're gonna make loads of money. I promise that they're gonna come into my world and I'm gonna support them forevermore. Because when you sign up to my course or my programme, you get lifetime access to me. Um, you know, for the majority of it, like with the core, it's a bit different because you pay like on a monthly basis. But for those people who come in to amplify your influence, they have access to me whenever. So if they need help with something and they get stuck, I can be like, hey, yeah, of course I can help you. But there are so many shysters in the world, like there are so many people out there in the business world who are essentially conning people because they're like, hey, come and come and spend this three grand with me, come and spend this five grand with me, and I'm gonna make you the most money you've ever made in your life. Because it's fucking bullshit, it's absolute bullshit. The only person who has the power to tell you if you can make that money or not is you. Okay. Now we can learn all of the things. Like I stopped buying courses and programs about three years ago. Now I spend my money on upskilling myself so that I know that I'm the best person that I can be in my job. I know how to build a funnel, I know how to email my list, know how to grow my social media. But what I don't need is spending shitloads of money on courses that aren't going to help me. What I need is people to bounce my ideas around with. I need people who I can, you know, say that I'm going to do something and they go, Oh, actually, I don't think that's a particularly good idea, Maddie, because actually you're going to be spending money when you don't need to. When you're in my world, you don't really need to actually go and spend any money with other people because I teach you all of the stuff that you need to know. Um, and if you get stuck, I've got people who can help you. But I really wanted to kind of talk about this today because I feel like in the business world there's a lot of smoke and mirrors, and as autistic people, we are vulnerable. It doesn't mean that we're gullible, we are absolutely not gullible. Um, ADHD people, autistic people, highly perceptive, but we do take the truth to be what people say it is. When you're talking about partnerships, when you're talking about people who you work with, look out for the red flags because there are always red flags. Like, see what other people say about working with that person before you go and work with them. Don't just take what it says on their website and the cutouts that they've got with the little testimonials. The only way, really, that you can see if a testimonial is true, true to life is by going and checking out someone's LinkedIn recommendations because they don't lie, they can't lie. They are all verified, they are all humans, they are not like, oh, I'm just gonna make this up and take a screenshot of it. They are all verified things. So just be careful. Don't just go and buy something because someone says it's good. Check out what other people say about it before you jump headfirst in. Like I've learnt my lesson, you know, and actually I have done this so many times where I've bought something because it sounds shiny, it sounds sexy. You don't always need to spend your money to be able to grow. And that's me for today. So uh if you've enjoyed this episode, give me a follow. Subscribe to the podcast, and check out my socials, Maddy Talks Money on Instagram, Mad About Money Official on TikTok. I'm also on YouTube, anywhere else, just search for Maddie Alexander Grout. And I will see you next week. We've got a really exciting episode next week, actually. Um, so yeah, go and check it out.