EP109- Vibe Check- When You Struggle To Show Up

In this episode of Mad About, Maddy talks about something so many business owners, especially neurodivergent ones, get wrong: trying to run a business when you are already running on empty.

Because let’s be honest, you cannot show up properly in your business if you are burnt out, overwhelmed, under-slept, under-fed, over-committed and ignoring your own needs.

Maddy shares her VIBE Method, a simple framework to help you check in with yourself before you dive into work, content, clients, or the never-ending to do list.

In this episode, she breaks down:

• Vitals: are you eating, sleeping, hydrating and taking your meds? 
• Internal state: how are you feeling mentally and emotionally? 
• Boundaries: where are you overgiving, people pleasing or saying yes when you mean no? 
• Energy: what is your actual capacity, not just the time you technically have available? 

This is your reminder that there is no badge of honour for working through the weekend, pushing through burnout, or pretending you are fine when you are absolutely not.

If your business feels harder than it should right now, this episode is your nudge to stop, reset, and check your VIBE first.

Maddy also shares why capacity matters more than hustle, why “should” belongs in the fuck it bucket, and why looking after yourself is not a luxury. It is part of building a business that actually works for your brain and your body.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, stretched too thin, or like you’re trying to pour from an empty cup, this one is for you.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to Mad About. I'm Maddie Alexander Grout and this is the podcast where we talk all things that we are mad about from a neurodivergent perspective. If you haven't met me before, I'm Maddie Alexander Grout and I am an ADHD money and business coach, visibility strategist, and disability advocate. And today I want to talk to you a little bit about putting you first. So have you ever heard the phrase you can't pour from an empty cup? Well, you can't even pour from a half full one, you can't pour from one that has the dregs at the bottom of it. And if you are struggling with yourself, as in you are burned out, you are run down, then you are not going to be running your business to the optimum. You're not going to be doing it in a way that works for your body or for your brain. And I am a massive, massive advocate of making sure that you put yourself first. So, as an example, like if you haven't done all of the things in your personal life that you probably need to do over a weekend, you are going to come back to work and you're going to feel really tired. Like, there is no badge of honour for working over a weekend. There is no badge of honour for burning out. It is something which I have done so many times, and I think as a neurodivergent person, when you burn out, like you just get into this perpetual burnout cycle, and it can be really tough. So today I want to talk to you about my vibe method. So this is a little acronym that I've put together which will help you to put yourself first. So vibe stands for vitals, internal state, boundaries, and energy. So let's start with the vitals. Like, are you looking after yourself? Are you eating? Are you sleeping well? Are you getting eight hours of a night of sleep? I can probably guarantee that you're not because it's something that neurodivergent people don't do. I mean, I'm a prime example. Like last night I was like, oh, what have I got to watch on Netflix? Nothing. I'm going to watch something that I've watched before. I'm going to watch the Handmaid's Tale. I know what's happened. I know how it's going to end, I know everything about it, but yeah, I still binge-watched it until half past one in the morning, which I know is not something that's going to help my vital state. Have you hydrated? I'm going to just take a little sip of my water. Just a little reminder, because people who are neurodivergent often forget to drink. If you can put some electrolytes in your drinks, like I struggle personally with electrolytes because they're all powdery and a bit gross, but you know, even if it's just a pre-made electrolyte or something that's going to give you a bit of energy, maybe not like the Lucas Aids and stuff like that, because they are inherently filled with nasty shit. But just something that's going to keep you hydrated, water. Coffee doesn't really count. Always have a glass of water before you have your morning coffee. Like I don't actually have caffeine, so I am not really addicted to it. I did have a cup of tea this morning at a very terrible Sun meeting that I went to at the school. Anyway, have you taken your medication? If you're on meds, like have you ordered your medication? Um, if you're close to running out, make sure that you put in your repeat prescription. Think about what you need on a day-to-day basis, what time you're going to take your meds, think about like how you're going to show up for work without taking them. If you haven't taken them, you need to do that. Have you eaten? Have you had breakfast? Have you fueled yourself? Um, you know, I'm not talking some crappy cereal like make yourself a protein shake for breakfast, or have a banana or a piece of fruit, or just something that's going to sustain you a little bit longer so that your energy levels are going to be met. That is the V, Vitals. Um, I, internal state. So, how are you feeling within yourself? What is going on? Are you feeling anxious? Are you feeling like, are you feeling overwhelmed? Are you feeling bored? Is there external pressure? Um, is money a factor? Because in general, if you are showing up first thing on a Monday morning or first thing in the week, whenever, and you are scrabbling around for money and you're nervous about money, that is going to affect the way that you show up in your business. So think about how you can reduce your overwhelm. How can you get yourself into a state where you're least like the least anxious that you can be anyway? And things like sleep and hydration will actually help those as well. Um, think about um like where the pressure is coming from. Is the pressure something that you are putting on yourself, or is it, you know, when when we have our like when we have anyway, when we have ADHD, sometimes things like RSD will come into play. And that can also be um like regarding our energy levels and our pressure factors. It might be a perceived pressure rather than an actual pressure. So think about like what the actual pressure is, where is the threat coming from? Are you being chased by real tigers or are they tigers in your head? Because that that will help. Um, that is your internal state. So, B, we've got boundaries. Boundaries are the one that I know personally I slip up on all the time. Boundaries for me, like I am notoriously terrible. Like, where are you overcommitting? Where are you people pleasing? Like, are you saying yes to things that actually you could be saying no to? Are you guarding your time? Are you protecting your energy? Think about all of those things. Now that leads us on to E for energy. Like, where do you have capacity right now? Now I'm not talking about time because we can have like, you know, we've all got the same 24 hours in the day, but we don't have the same energy levels. And when we're neurodivergent, we often forget that that actually our energy levels are lower than other people's. Um, if we have chronic conditions or chronic pain or anything that is going on in our body that is not, you know, not relating to our business, we we have to look after ourselves before we can do anything business related. So I want you to think about your capacity. Like, how long do you actually want to work in a day? How long can you work for in a day? Like, are you looking after yourself and keeping those boundaries? Or are you working until 10 o'clock at night just because you feel like you should do? And we all know where should needs to go, in the fuck it bucket. So I just want to make sure that we are doing a vibe check before we even start work. So just a little recap on that. Check your vitals. Are you eating? Are you hydrated? Are you sleeping well? Internal state, what's going on with your anxiety, your mental health, your well-being? Is there anything that you can do to release some of that pressure? Boundaries, check in on your own boundaries. Are you overgiving? Are you people pleasing? Are you saying yes to the things that you shouldn't be saying yes to? Then energy, what is your capacity? Like how how much can you actually work during the day? So I'm not saying, oh yeah, like we can work nine to five because that's when the kids are out, or we can work school hours. That might be the amount of time you've got, but is it your capacity? You need you're the only person who can actually work out what your capacity is. Um, how much time are you spending on social media? And I'm not talking about posting, I'm talking about scrolling. There is an important element to scrolling because we do need to research, we do need to see what the current trends are, we need to see what's going on in the social media world, but that doesn't mean that we have to do scroll and just look at everything. Like I know that if I'm feeling low or if I'm feeling unmotivated, I will go and I will scroll for hours on Instagram looking at different hair colours. I've gone back to this hair colour now, actually, from the rainbow. This is my Maddieverse hair, and I'm kind of keeping it for a while because I really like it and I get lots of compliments about how awesome my hair looks, it's very like spacey. Um, but just going off on topic because I like my hair colour there. Um, but just make sure that you do a vibe check before you do anything else when you start a week. The vibe check is essential because without the vibe check, you are gonna be running on empty. Try, try, try, and switch off at the weekends. Nobody cares if you're doing extra work on the weekends. I know it may seem like, especially if you're not making any money, it may seem like doing extra work is gonna bring the stuff in. But it's not about like reducing your capacity, it's not about burning more time, it's about looking at where you are and analysing like, is this the right thing for me to be doing? And if you are flogging a dead horse, and I mean I'm not saying that you are, but you know, if it feels like your business isn't going anywhere, come and hang out with Milo, come and hang out in the core, it's£10 a month, and it will help you to strengthen all areas of you so that you can show up and run your business in a way that works. I also help you with visibility, there's loads of masterclasses, there's loads of trainings, and a community that will really help you if you're feeling like you are alone. You don't have to be neurodivergent to join. You can have you can be neurodivergent, you can be disabled, you can have chronic pain, chronic conditions, or just struggling with life's lemons. You might be struggling a bit with your mental health, you might be a parent who is trying to juggle all of the things. Like, just because uh I talk about just neurodivergent things doesn't mean to say that this community is not something that's going to help you wherever you are on your business journey. So um I hope that's helped today a little bit. Um, I'm Maddie Alexander Grout. You can follow me on uh Instagram, Maddie TalksMoney, or you can follow me on YouTube, uh Maddie Alexander Grout, uh Mad About Money Official on TikTok. And if you've liked this episode, please hit the subscribe button, give us a follow, and uh leave us a review. Um and we'll see you next week, same time. Have a good week.