Ep111- Trauma Made Us Funny- With Alyssa Kyria Funny Mummy

In this episode of Mad About Podcast, Maddy Alexander-Grout sits down with Alyssa for a brilliantly honest, chaotic, funny, and emotional conversation about neurodivergence, identity, trauma, performance, and the pressure to fit into a world that often doesn’t understand different brains.

Together they dive into the realities of living with ADHD, the long-lasting impact of bullying, rejection sensitivity, masking, burnout, and why so many neurodivergent people use humour as a survival tool. From cringeworthy moments and public perception to self-expression, grief, nostalgia, and self-care, this episode feels like a conversation between two people who genuinely get it.

It’s funny. It’s vulnerable. It’s validating. And it’s a reminder that sometimes the people who laugh the loudest are carrying the heaviest stories.

In This Episode, We Talk About:

•  ADHD, diagnosis journeys, and late discovery 
•  Bullying and its impact on confidence and identity 
•  RSD (Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria) 
•  Why humour becomes a coping mechanism 
•  Performing, masking, and audience expectations 
•  The evolution of communication and online culture 
•  Alcohol, self-care, and neurodivergent coping strategies 
•  Balancing work, rest, family, and overstimulation 
•  Trauma, grief, and finding laughter in dark moments 
•  Cringe stories, public mistakes, and awkward memories 
•  Authenticity, visibility, and embracing who you really are 

Key Takeaways

•  Humour can be healing, especially for neurodivergent people navigating difficult experiences. 
•  Many ADHDers grow up feeling “too much” or misunderstood. 
•  Bullying and rejection can deeply shape self-worth and self-expression. 
•  Rest is not laziness — especially for neurodivergent brains. 
•  Authenticity becomes easier when you stop performing for everyone else. 
•  Shared experiences create powerful connection and validation. 

Favourite Quotes

“We’re mad about everything.”“I think we need to normalize it.”“Trauma made us funny.”

Chapters

00:00 – Introduction to Neurodivergence and Humor
02:59 – Alyssa’s Journey to Diagnosis and Performance
05:52 – The Impact of Bullying on Neurodivergent Individuals
08:55 – Nostalgia and the Evolution of Communication
11:51 – Navigating RSD and Audience Perception
13:56 – Public Expectations and Algorithms
14:46 – Alcohol, Self-Care, and Coping Mechanisms
18:36 – Balancing Work, Family, and Personal Needs
21:52 – Embracing Neurodivergence and Self-Expression
26:30 – Coping with Grief and Finding Humor
27:35 – Cringe Moments and Professional Mishaps
32:53 – Why Trauma Often Creates Dark Humor
36:46 – Defying Societal Norms and Embracing Authenticity

Connect with Maddy

Follow Maddy Alexander-Grout for more conversations around ADHD, visibility, business, money, identity, and showing up authentically as a neurodivergent human. @maddytalksmoney on instagram @madaboutmoneyofficial on TikTok 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_03 0:01

Hello and welcome to Mad About with Maddie Alexander Grouse. That is me. Um and I am here to basically talk about all of the things that I am mad about. I am neurodivergent, and all of my guests are neurodivergent. But we are mad about fucking everything. Literally not fucking everything, because that would be weird. But we're mad about everything. It could be that we're mad about the state of the world, that we're mad about how people treat us, we're mad about how people see neurodivergent brains. But we're also mad about the things that we're passionate about and the things that happen in the world where we can be ourselves. And today I am really excited to be joined by Elisa, and she is a funny mother. And she is really bloody funny. If you go and have a look at her Instagram, like she does things rats, like parody rats, and just really funny things that you think, yeah, like she's my type of person. So I thought I'd be very excited about you being on with us today. Um she's also got a new podcast as well called Cringe and Tell. And I'm also equally as excited about that because I'm gonna go on to her podcast and talk about all the cringy things that I've done in my life, which I bloody love.

SPEAKER_01 1:11

Um, thank you so much for a gorgeous intro. I'm so excited to be here as well. I'm very excited. I think you're very funny as well, actually. I was telling you that earlier, wasn't I?

SPEAKER_03 1:22

Well, thank you, Flattery. I always say this. Um, my husband doesn't think I'm funny at all. This is outrageous. That's so rude. Super outrageous. I was listening back to uh to the video from my book launch the other day, and I thought I could do stand-up. Like my book is quite fast, and actually I'm quite good at thinking of jokes. I mean, like, don't make me prepare anything, but if I just stood on the stage and talked, I reckon I'd probably get at least three jokes in.

SPEAKER_01 1:49

Give it a go, babe. I think I think you'd be great in two hours. Oh, great, okay. I'll uh I'll block some time for your gig.

SPEAKER_03 1:58

I mean, like, so I I am actually at some point later on this year gonna be doing a book tour, and I thought I could actually maybe just give myself a little bit of comedy, see if I could try it, just you know, do it.

SPEAKER_01 2:12

I'll help you if you like.

SPEAKER_03 2:14

Yes, please. That would be so good. That'd be lovely.

SPEAKER_01 2:16

I'd love to. Come and in fact, come and support me on one of my dates. That'll be a support act. I'd love it. I'd open it and like hype you up before you come on.

SPEAKER_03 2:25

Yes. Yes. But then you're gonna be really funny and I'll come on, and people will be like, oh, it's no uh no won't.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

I'll be shit, I'll be really rubbish, and then then that'll be good. Yeah, I'll do yeah.

SPEAKER_03 2:37

So I want to know about your journey. So you've recently been diagnosed with ADHD. Yes, but I want to know what happened before that. Like, how did you end up doing what you do now?

SPEAKER_01 2:49

Right, okay. Oh, well, that's a lovely question. And my yeah, I got diagnosed. Uh I keep saying recently, but it was not it was last, not last year's November, the one before, but it feels so recent because uh, you know, I just didn't know for so long.

SPEAKER_03 3:07

Are we not? Horrible, no.

SPEAKER_01 3:09

Okay, oh fine, I didn't know that then. Yeah, it was this year a few months ago then.

SPEAKER_03 3:14

It was like I had three deaths and a funeral, but like a real version of the five.

SPEAKER_01 3:21

Oh god, oh no, yeah, that's no fun.

SPEAKER_03 3:24

So I kind of just got to the end of the year and went, right, you can go in the fucking bin.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Yeah, in the bin.

SPEAKER_03 3:29

No, not having it anymore. So um so it was only a month ago, you know so it's literally a month ago, great.

SPEAKER_01 3:34

It was a month ago I got diagnosed with ADHD. Um, and how I got here, Maddie. Well, um, I have always wanted to perform like since I was very, very small. And I just have I think you either have that screw loose in your head or you don't. Like from some people it's their worst nightmare to get up on stage and say things, but some people they that's the all that's that's all the only place they want to be. So and that's that's me. And my daughter has it too, and I'm like, oh no. What life do you have ahead of you, darling? Um show biz. But um, so yeah, I was always performing and I I got bullied quite a lot at school, and it made me um want to kind of be like right, I'll I'll make sure I'm liked by everyone so that I won't get bullied, so I'd make up songs and um I'd entertain and be class clowns. So that was my thing. That was my thing. But always acting was my and and also I I loved um I was doing all the competitions and getting all the awards for acting. So that was like my, you know, my way of feeling really fabulous about myself when I wasn't feeling fabulous in some of the other ways. So yeah, so that carried on, but then I went to drama school, did all that, and then I came out of drama school and didn't get any acting work, and I was like, oh no, this is rubbish. Um, and I thought the only way I can get myself on stage is if I write something and I do something, and I saw an open mic comedy night, and I went and did this weird character muddy. I had my nan had recently passed away, and I had her Zimmer frame in the garage, and I was like, oh, I can do something with that. And so I did this weird character. I thought what she was doing. I think she fancied the electrician. She had this weird, you know, Zimmer frame. Very odd, completely bizarre. Well, doesn't it? Yeah, there you go, see. Um, so and I went on and I did this character, and um, I got a couple of laughs, and I thought, right, okay, I'll give this a go, and um and kind of off went on from there, really. That's a very small potted version of how we have it.

SPEAKER_03 5:42

Like, I mean, first of all, let's let's talk a little bit around the neurodivergent brain and oh yeah. I mean, that is a massive, massive thing for people who are neurodivergent. Yes. I think because we've spent most of our lives getting all this negativity, all this criticism, like the bullying. Like most people that I speak to who are neurodivergent, if you say I was bullied at school, they're like, me too. Yeah. Um, I mean it's a different kind of me too sort of version. But yeah, totally, yeah. Very, very common. Yeah. I was I was bullied at school um by two girls who I will name Catty and Malice. Um, their name of those. Um I met in my book, and you know, they're lucky they got a mention to be fair, because they were absolute douchebags. Like I did something wrong, wrong, apparently.

SPEAKER_01 6:31

Wrong, yeah, wrong.

SPEAKER_03 6:32

It was an overshare. Like, it was just one minute, somebody asked me a question, I told them an honest answer. Hey, I'm autistic, I can't lie. Um, and it was the wrong thing that I said, and then everybody hated me, and dreaded going to school like every day. And uh I went home and like developed a binge eating or disorder because the only way that I found happiness was through a bar of chocolate that had multiple pieces in it.

SPEAKER_00 6:56

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 6:57

Really good chocolate bar, and I'm very gutted they don't make it anymore.

SPEAKER_00 7:00

Oh, which one?

SPEAKER_03 7:01

It was called Double Fudge Dream by Cabries, but they only did it for about two years. I ate all of them.

SPEAKER_01 7:07

Yeah, so they were discontinued because they ran out. Yeah, I think even like the prototype was gone.

SPEAKER_03 7:14

All of them gone. I was like a bloodhound for this one. Sniff it out, and anytime I went to the shop that had it, I would buy all of them and I'd be prepared. Oh, babe. And he would I would eat like food.

SPEAKER_01 7:26

And it would make you feel better. That was the only thing that made it. I get it, I totally get it. Yeah, damn you, but yeah, I I understand that. And I have foods that make me feel better now. Are the foods I used to have when I came home from school because it was that comfort, and one of them is this pasta soup that my mum used to make, and I mean it's literally like pasta, water, and chicken stock. I mean, it's literally like but I can eat gallons of pasta because of this soup, and it's just it's that comfort of just feeling really full when you're feeling and feeling warm inside when you feel shit. 100%.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

Yeah, it's so hard, and I think actually, I I dread to think what it is like for kids nowadays who are neurodivergent who go through that bitchy horrible girl stage because of the fact that there is now social media and there are phones, and you know, back in back in those days, like you know, you had you carried a brick round with you and it only accepted 12 text messages. So if you didn't want to get any text messages, you didn't have to.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

I didn't have that because you're younger than me, so I was like, there was not even any anything like that. You if you were gonna get bullied, it had to be face to face or on the landline.

unknown 8:34

Yes. Oh wow, oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 8:37

So at least there was that. At least there was that.

SPEAKER_03 8:40

Did you see phone boxes and like just phone boys that you've got to do?

SPEAKER_01 8:43

Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:46

Yes, yellow pages.

SPEAKER_03 8:48

Oh my gosh. Who's that? It's Maddie. Who's Maddy? Well, I'm his spoken to me before I'm his friend. At the school disco or something.

SPEAKER_01 9:03

I'm just remembering as well, like a boy calling my house for me, and my mum obviously like on the landline, and hello, like oh who is this? Yeah, and then like Elisa, it's a boy for I was like, oh my god, because it's all on your landline, and you're picking it up, and then you can hear your mum trying not to hang up because she wants to listen to what you're saying. I'm like, Mum, get off the phone. Oh my gosh. Oh gosh, I'd forgotten about that.

SPEAKER_03 9:29

Yeah, and you had to like hang up when it got to an hour as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was like, I mean, they were when you used to like go through the Argos catalogue and circle all the things that you like.

SPEAKER_01 9:41

I loved the Argos catalogue. I still love those little pencils, you know, you know the little pencils, yeah, in Argos. I mean they still do, but you Or little pens, it was little pens in Argos, little pencils in the little pens, little blue pens, little blue pens. I love that. They you don't do that anymore in Argos, do you?

SPEAKER_03 9:58

Is it all I think it's all electronic, it's like a touch screen thing.

SPEAKER_01 10:02

That's so sad. That's so sad. No, it doesn't, it doesn't.

SPEAKER_03 10:05

I mean, it's like I'm obsessed with cassette tapes, like literally tapes were my favourite, like I used to spend and the reason why I've got this. So this is my this is my tattoo of um of my cassette tape.

SPEAKER_00 10:16

Oh, I love it. Oh, it's a heart with a cassette tape.

SPEAKER_03 10:19

What about owning your soundtrack? So love the metaphor. Um so so I got that one um after I experienced bullying in the business world. Oh babe. And just some crappy times where I just had a fallout with a couple of people, and it was just it was just really shit. And I just thought, do you know what? Like, don't listen to other people's narratives of you. The only person's narrative that you need to listen to is your own. And if you think that you're a shit person, then everyone else is gonna think you're a shit person. So I was just like, but I'm not a shit person, I'm actually really good. So I went and put on my favourite tunes, made a playlist, not a tape, sadly, because you know I don't have it. I do actually have a Walkman though. I need I need to buy some tapes to see if it still works. Oh, I love it. One of the benefits about my grandmother dying is that she was a hoarder of like everything. So I managed to get like a really old school camera and a walkman and like all sorts of things.

SPEAKER_00 11:09

I love that.

SPEAKER_01 11:10

Yeah, um I love that idea of owning your soundtrack and owning your own narrative and how you feel about yourself and how you see yourself rather than how other people's. I really have struggled with that my whole life and so much therapy to try and not see myself the way that the bullies saw me, you know, because they're so convincing that I was like, oh well, I must be, but also it is the thing about being, you know, ADHD or you know, different because I was like, you know, they make me feel like I'm weird, but yeah, I am, but it's it doesn't have to be in a bad way, but it's just the way that they exactly own it, exactly. So it's just trying to unravel that, you know, the the perceptions of other people of you, isn't it? And how they they make you feel about yourself, I think, as well. That's the thing like you're saying. If you make they make you feel like you're shit, um it's it's just untangling your yourself out of that, isn't it? It's a web, yeah. It's a web.

SPEAKER_03 12:05

And actually, one of the things that I have grown the most with over the last year is is actually sitting with negativity and actually being like, okay, well, why did they say that thing about me? What do I have to learn from that process? But also, is it true? Or is it RSD? Because RSD like inopportune times, and that must actually working in kind of a performing industry, that must be quite difficult at times.

SPEAKER_01 12:34

It's a bloody nightmare, Maddy. I well, yeah, I mean, so many ways. I've had it. So the other day I was at um I did a show and I had it was an amazing audience. I had, I think it was about 150 people in the audience, loving it. Great time. One person was like this, grumpy face, like like crossed arms, looking at me like they wanted to kill me. And uh I think I'm exaggerating them, Haddy. I'm sure they weren't actually looking at me like that. But this is what I'm saying. This is what I'm saying. The rest of the audience having a great time laughing, but I could not stop thinking about that one person who didn't like it. In the interval, I was so upset. I was like, oh no, it's an awful show, and I had to pull myself out of that mindset. It was very difficult, but because I had to go back on again, I was like, Alisa, you can't focus on this one person, but it's the RSD. But since having the diagnosis, actually, it's been very helpful because I've gone, Alisa, this is the RSD. This is your ADHD. Whereas before, it would have been harder to separate myself from that thought. Um, but um, but yeah, it's really difficult because I do focus in on that, you know, the one negative person. And with Instagram, um, recently someone shared a story of of mine or shared one of my posts with a comment that was quite negative about it, and I went into full spin. I was like, oh my god, I've ruined it. I've got to delete everything, and oh uh sending her voice notes, and I was just oh my Lisa's just got to calm down, but I can't, I can't, it's really difficult.

SPEAKER_03 14:03

I totally get it. It's it is really hard, especially when you're in the public eye and you have a big following on you know whether it's Instagram or TV.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Yeah, yeah. Very difficult, very difficult.

SPEAKER_03 14:16

You know that you have to appease the algorithm. Yes, it's not just people pleasing here. We're talking about pleasing a robot, which is annoying. But we show up and we we have to keep going. Yeah. And I mean, there is that element of should in in the back of my brain where I'm like, well, am I showing up because I feel like I should to please people and please the algorithm, or am I doing it because I want to carry on? Yeah, there is that element of us wanting to carry on.

SPEAKER_01 14:43

Absolutely. I love and I love it. I love it most of the time, but it's it comes with that. Yes, repair, yeah, absolutely, exactly, exactly. And it's trying not to let those things like RSD stop me from doing what I love to do. I love being on stage, I love doing Instagram videos, I love, you know, doing funny videos, but also videos about mental health, about you know, stuff to help people feel a bit better or give them a laugh. I love all of that, but it comes with things that really trigger me with the RSD and also other stuff like you know, just general ADHD kind of burnout, busy brain where I'm hyper-focused and obsessed. Like I was telling you today, I'm I'm really tired and I've my brain needs a rest, but it's always going, but don't worry, what about this? But what do you want to think about this? It just won't, it just it doesn't let me stop a lot of the time. So it's balancing all of that with what you want to do, you know.

SPEAKER_03 15:36

Yeah, I had I had this actually, because I I I booked a holiday. So yes, good for you. So I don't normally drink at all. Like I am a a a teetotaler. I wouldn't say I was sober because I stopped drinking because I had no off switch.

SPEAKER_02 15:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 15:51

Um I had a bit of a blip the other day. So like I very occasionally, like if I'm at a festival or if I'm on holiday, I might have like a beer or a like something. But I tend to have something that I'm not that fussed about, so I don't really want to get the taste for it. Good idea. I accidentally went to go and see my favourite band. Not that wasn't accidental, but the drink. Um and I bought a bottle of four percent Bucks Fizz because I was like, I can I can drink the whole of that, go to a gig, be absolutely fine. Yeah, Bucks Fizz. You know, it's it's four percent and I'll be fine. But I arrived and I've got a very specific thing being a neurodivergent with my um temperatures of drinks. It either has to be freezing cold or boiling hot. If it's tested, room temperature.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

I'm the same! I'm like, I need ice. I need if yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:39

Um so when we arrived, the only thing that we had cold was a bottle of wine. And I was like, I can have a glass of wine. Forgot how fucking nice wine tasted, didn't I? And we drank four bottles of wine between three of us in the space of an hour and a half, then went to the gig and I was like, Meh, I've started, so I won't finish. And my off switch didn't come back. Like, it was just like nope. I've there's even a chapter in my book about my off switch and about how I changed my alcohol relationship. And now I'm going back to not drinking at all because the hangover had disastrous effects. I came home, I was bummed out, I was miserable, um, I couldn't react well with Certraline, which I'm taking for my mental health, so that's right, right, right. Maybe I don't feel that great. Yeah. And then I was just like, I feel shit. What do I do to make myself feel shit? And as somebody who's a recovering spending addict, of course I went and spent money. But what I didn't do was spend money in a small way. I was like, my brain hurts, I'm tired, I need a holiday.

SPEAKER_00 17:42

Oh yeah. But that's good. I think it's good to book a holiday.

SPEAKER_03 17:47

It was good. But what did you book? What kind of holiday would I like? What's gonna help me out the most?

SPEAKER_01 17:57

Oh, hell yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:59

Then I can go in half term. Oh dear, I'm going in half term. Half term's the most expensive time to book a holiday, especially with two weeks to go. Nah, fuck it, 2,700 quid. That'll that's fine. So I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 18:11

I'm behind you though. Well, I but I think it's a good thing because sometimes you just need a holiday, and I think I'm really glad you booked it, actually. Because sometimes when we're in kind of work mode, you wouldn't think to book that, but because you were like, I need cheering up, I'm gonna do this, and I think it's good. Holidays are great.

SPEAKER_03 18:28

And going and going back to like the the the shoulds and the the shouldn'ts, etc.

SPEAKER_01 18:33

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 18:34

I I talk about money all the time given what I do, and I'm always like save for things, you know, and it wasn't like I didn't have the money. Yeah, you know, I didn't put it on a credit card, I paid with it, I paid for it with you know with actual real life cash money. Um, I wasn't in debt to anybody, it's money that I had, it's money that I earn. You know, and I thought, do you know what? Yeah, I just need a bit of a blowout. Totally right. Was it or was it impulsive? It was totally impulsive and totally like but I am so happy with my decision because the kids are really excited. Yes, there's a spa there, but my mum's also there at the same time, so I'm like thinking that they might take the kids off my hands for a bit. So I reckon I would be way happier being in Lanzarote than I would be in being like you know, rainy, disgusting Southampton when it comes to being.

SPEAKER_01 19:21

Amazing, amazing. I'm really happy for you. I think it's gonna be great.

SPEAKER_03 19:24

But being told what to do or being Oh yeah. So let's talk about that a little bit. The whole reason what would have brought me onto this subject was because I've told my membership that I am not gonna be around. Like I've told them, like, I'm not gonna be doing like post reviews, I'm not gonna be helping you with video content. I'm like, you know, I will be in the WhatsApp chat, but I'm not gonna be around. And like one of my lovely clients, Nikki, she runs an amazing business. Um, is called the Ann, is she's called the Anti-Racist Mum. And she helps learn like their racism and their like um internalized beliefs around.

SPEAKER_01 20:01

That's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 20:02

She is fucking wonderful. But she said to me, I'll bug you if I see you working. And I was like, No, don't do that. Because if you tell me not to work, when I am working, I'm gonna go into shutdown mode. I'm gonna be like, no, it's my job. I want to work, and then I'll probably work more because somebody's told me not to do it, because I have got a PDA profile. I thought, no, I can't, I can't, I just I can't like so. I said, so I said, look, you know, you can you can maybe just go like maddy, like if you form around too much, but don't say you're working too much, go and rest. Because if someone tells me to rest, I would do exactly the opposite.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

It's to it's yeah, you've got to navigate it yourself. And if doing a couple of work bits makes you feel like you're able to rest more for the rest of the day, then that's cool. Then that's cool. Yeah, you've got to do how it's all about our nervous systems going bananas and like sometimes I can't, I just can't rest. I can't, I find it really difficult. But sometimes if I uh yeah, I just yeah, so however you can find your rest when you're there, you know, it's the way you've got to do it.

SPEAKER_03 21:04

I think for for people like me and you who are like actively doing things that we love, yes, what we love is kind of our rest. And when people do it, like because some because somebody said to me, Oh, you know, if I see you on TikTok or on Instagram, like I'm gonna be cross. And it's like, well, I'm gonna be cross if you tell me off for that. Because actually, that's my way of relaxing.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

I love it, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 21:26

I'm not gonna have any client calls, I'm not gonna do any like membership calls, I'm not gonna do any coaching or any of those things. That's my that's my rest. Yeah, like I do love all of those things as well, but like my pop my proper hyper focus is creating content around the subjects I love.

SPEAKER_01 21:41

Yeah. Yeah, absolutely.

SPEAKER_03 21:43

Yeah, it is a form of rest.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

Like, that's a lovely way to put it, actually. I love that. Yeah, because it's a it is a it's a my brain goes into this fun space when I'm thinking of ideas for videos, I'm like, oh, and like so and I'm on holiday, I if I you know, it's always loads of stuff that I think is all be really

SPEAKER_03 22:00

funny and so yeah yeah yeah absolutely mine mine is gonna be like you know I can focus my content on the fact that I'm taking two neurodivergent children away on holiday on my own and yeah I'm gonna be filming my like very white I can't even do the sausage with you know like the sausage pictures with with my legs because sausages are not white they're not that white maybe chicken sausages I've been having them lately they're quite white maybe I'm even like I think it would need to be like sausages made of snow my legs because they are literally the whitest unless I don't shave them in which case I don't think I'm they're gonna screen because I have this thing where like my husband goes are you gonna shave your legs and I'm like it's winter yeah just it's extra warmth like it's like you know you wouldn't make a dog shave its coat in the winter would you exactly stop it it's my protection from the cold yes I'm I'm a mum of two neurodivergent children I run a business I do content like I've just got involved involved with the Green Party and oh well done loads of stuff that I'm gonna yeah so I'm I am now the visibility coordinator um for the Green Party in my that's awesome yeah that's really cool congratulations thank you like you know we've got to be like standing up and talking about by the way the view these views are my own not the green party like but you know I I mean what are the other options we we're not doing well here are we really I mean like the only vague possibility would be like maybe a Libered and Labour coalition which could you see that working no because they've got a different opinion because Labour have just turned into like the Tories in sheep's clothing anyway we're not going to politics around here sorry no no it's okay um but yeah well done on the Green Party though that's great I've got loads of stuff to do so shaving my legs is just not a priority right now. Bottom of the list babe bottom of this you know it's there and also self-care as an neurodivergent you know the only thing that I do that self-care as a neurodivergent that I actually think is beneficial is I put my eyelashes on. Ooh what are they what falsies oh yeah they're like you know they're I'll show you they're they're like they're individual clusters and they're I you're so good at I can't do that.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

I get myself all in a tears and I end up sort of sticking my eyelid shut.

SPEAKER_03 24:27

Okay right I've got tips here go on hit me I used to be the same if you get the strip lashes horrible you on them you get sticky if you've got dyspraxia like me you will poke yourself in the eye about 700 times. These ones are they're from Amazon they're like excuse me Mike um they're like 11 quid you get probably about four sets out of these depending on what size lashes you have they're individual clusters but they are pre-glued and they have sticky on them. They come with one of these little uh applicator things and it's long but it's twisty.

SPEAKER_01 25:03

So it's like I feel like I'm watching a TikTok video right now.

SPEAKER_03 25:07

I know I should probably do a little um but what they but what happens is and the first time I did it it took me about 40 minutes to do a set yeah see I have tried something like this before and I couldn't but it wasn't pre-glued to be fair I had to do some kind of like thing yeah because they stick to your lashes and then you basically you pinch them on.

SPEAKER_01 25:27

Oh okay okay I might be able to handle that.

SPEAKER_03 25:29

About four days four to five days um I find that doing that for a whole month is still cheaper than me actually going to get my eyelashes do you have to sleep sort of on your back though like a sort of vampire I've just kind of given up and I'm like if one falls off like I I did go to school the other day and I had one in the crevice of my ears but my ears are starting to get hairy too oh no it's just my it's my eyelashes. Just my eyelashes um and I had um I had one the other day I wiped and like I was like ooh okay I don't know how much they're in there but I just didn't see it wasn't prickling me that's all I can say well there you go so they are a game changer and after about six or seven times of doing it I just thought I'm gonna get good at this because I hate putting mascara on and I'm super lazy. Well they look good yeah no they look good I think I might have to look into this yeah but I know about uh self-care my daughter is 11 she has a better skincare regime than me I don't have a skincare regime she has one and it's uh they're obsessed with skincare it's tweens um yeah and I just sort of I wash my face and I put some moisturizer on I feel like that is but this is not a regime apparently well I I mine is mine is consistent um and you know I think consistency is consistency like great bring it on whatever it is yeah yeah absolutely my skincare routine is I have a bath every single Sunday and I use exfoliating oh yeah bit of that yeah yeah lovely scrub and then I do a face wash and then I do a face mask.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

Very nice darling that's a good thing that's lovely. Yeah well then but then you've got your nice little mask that's a lovely thing. Lola and I do um these sheet masks sometimes and you look like something up a horror movie. We just put them on and we just lie there and have a little chat it's really nice.

SPEAKER_03 27:17

I got really into those just after my dad died because I basically I spent like three weeks crying and what stopped me from crying was having one of those faces you can't no and it's just walking around with like weird sheet marks my kids were like are you gonna take that off no stops me from crying oh darling oh bless you like making the dinner with like this sheet mark pretty much um but now it's not so bad and I'm like I I mean I I can go like weeks without crying and then all of a sudden I'm like oh my god I need a face mask quick quick slap it on me and it's it's just I've kind of learned to live with the fact that grief is like a weird roller coaster. Yes absolutely fine one minute and then it's like oh it's PMDD week here you go again and have other shit coming in oh bless you please put it in I'm so sorry thank you like everyone says they're sorry I'm like do you know what like it's weirdly it was a bit of a relief um not a relief him dying but a relief in terms of my life because I was caring for him and he was living on the Isle of Wight and I had to keep you know I was going over the island like you know twice a month trying to I was having to do all of his financial admin as well as my own which was just there was just a lot. That's a huge amount for you to do that's really really intense yeah a lot and there's still a lot to to do now because when somebody goes it's like yeah there's just so many bloody forms and paperwork and all sorts of things yeah but like just things that you have to do but it but it is what it is. Yeah let's not talk about shit things let's talk about fun things I want to know about your podcast.

SPEAKER_01 28:53

Oh thanks I'm so excited about my podcast I've been wanting to do it for so long but because I am not brilliant with technology I have avoided it and just being scared to do a podcast on my own. I did one over um COVID with my friend Carly we did one um and it was really fun but she did the technical things and I didn't and I was like oh but basically Maddy I have been making an idiot of myself my entire life so many cringe moments and because I think of the you know maybe because of the RSD I don't know look I get embarrassed a lot really embarrassed about it and I wanted to do a podcast where I talk about these things get guests on talking about their cringe moments and all different whether it's parenting or dating or holidays or whatever it is and shake off a bit of the shame shake off the cringe and just laugh at ourselves one of my favourite things to do is laugh at myself it's one of my I mean it really is a passion of mine. I really love it because it's just you've got to have a sense of humour sometimes and you've got to laugh at yourself. And so we have a laugh at ourselves at each other and just kind of put perfection in the bin and it's my new favourite thing. I really enjoy it.

SPEAKER_03 30:02

Shame shame around yes so I've been thinking about this weirdly because it just popped into my head I was like I haven't like I used to have a client that he was like a corporate and I used to do like financial webinars for them and they paid me like three grand a year to do these financial webinars and it was a nice little learner and it was really good. And the last one that I did for them was like back end of maybe 2023. I was like they wanted to work with me again and I haven't heard of them. Maybe I should chase them up and then I remembered what had happened on the last time that I did a financial webinar for them.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

What happened?

SPEAKER_03 30:40

I got a phone call um from the guy and basically the I'm not gonna I'm not gonna say who the name of the company is because that's that's bad but basically um the name of the company was a boy's name and the guy that I was dealing with obviously had a boy's name and he phoned me and he was like hi Maddie it's blah blah blah from blah blah blah and I was like hey how are you and he was like uh waiting for you where are you and I was like oh am I supposed to be on a webinar with you and they were like yes but I hadn't even written the rev the webinar and I panicked to God so I think darling the subject and I was like looking at it while I was doing it and I thought I got through it in terms of I got through it really well. However I kept saying um the name of the company I accidentally swapped the name of the company and the name of the guy that I was dealing with so I kept saying you guys at blah blah blah to have these things in place and blah blah blah but I was talking about the guy. Anyway I got off and I was just like it suddenly hit me and I was oh my god they're gonna never work with me ever again I mean A I was late I didn't show up I didn't have the material prepped and then I called the bloody company the wrong I can't get over the same darling could they not have interrupted and gone well by the way it's not that or is it like a recorded thing? It was no no no they could have interrupted why didn't they? But I was nervous.

SPEAKER_01 32:13

Yeah but still if I was there might be like hello I mean then you would have had no worries after that I think it's their fault.

SPEAKER_03 32:20

Yeah we'll go I mean but they didn't come back to work with you.

SPEAKER_01 32:24

Oh I'm sorry it's that awful feeling I hate yeah I hate that feeling when you think I've messed up and and you yeah it's that shame of it as well isn't it and also the being caught on the hop like you're supposed to be somewhere that's one of my most awful feelings like bloody bad at timekeeping and like actually boundaries and saying yes to things that we shouldn't and double oh yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah but any anyway so your podcast are so are you gonna be telling us some of your cring yeah I do already oh my gosh I mean I've already dropped my most embarrassing one night stand story and it's really bad. Oh my gosh it involves a musical instrument.

SPEAKER_03 33:10

And uh those of you who are young enough to remember American pie will know where I'm going. Oh my gosh I just there's one time at Bank.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

There's the one time at Bank of absolutely brilliant um and I've dropped yeah my most embarrassing story where I was basically accused of stealing a phone at a dinner party so loads of mine and I've only just getting started but then I have fabulous guests who tell me there so I've had um a novelist who writes really saucy novels that we went into like dating and cringe dating and sex cringe and then I've had an amazing mum Instagram star who was just all about the mum parenting cringe and all sorts fashion is coming up this week because I've got the lady who used to present um 10 years younger um and so she and so that's all fashion cringe so there's just so much fun to be had and I also I just I'm on a real mission I am on my Instagram as well to just show that we're all idiots basically and we don't know what we're doing.

SPEAKER_03 34:09

I am so excited and I've got so many stories I can't wait for you to come on we need to book it so if you know how long are your podcasts normally because I've two part one and two with Maddie I think so in fact in fact like Richard Habit where I come back as a monthly like you know monthly special guest to tell all of my shit things that have happened that month.

SPEAKER_01 34:32

Bring it on bring it on a walking fucking disaster most of the same same same same I've started thing on my Insta most weeks now I'm going things that have gone tits up this week because it's just my book yes I'd love I'll buy oh thank you I'd love it I was I was gonna buy it anyway yeah okay great yes please that's even better I will I will send you a call I'll tell you what if I if I send it to you will you talk about it on your Instagram of course I will 100% yeah yeah 100% I will say because I think you will probably get some inspiration as well for cringy things that have happened to me.

SPEAKER_03 35:06

And it's it's like how can that many things happen to somebody and then be unalive you know that's basically where I got to as a point I am a walking fucking disaster and I'm totally fine with that.

SPEAKER_01 35:20

And you're fine with that that's the thing is owning it as well and it's and it's I think with ADHD as well I we well I I mean maybe you as well it seems do lots of things like this where you embarrass yourself or and it's trying to get out of the constant shame oh so sorry oh so sorry I'm always doing stuff like this I'm so sorry that's where I am at the moment really trying to kind of just own it and just be like look I'm so you know I'm just not going to apologize for myself anymore otherwise I'll be doing it all the time.

SPEAKER_03 35:46

No and we have we have to and like I also think as well that we have quite dark sense of humours which often comes from trauma. Yeah I'm learning a lot about trauma at the moment yeah you were saying yeah I'm doing a an extra qualification as part of my coaching um stuff which is about it's not just trauma informed it's trauma responsive so it means I can actually help my clients when they've been through trauma. Amazing and you know one of the things that that I've learned about especially with the clients that I deal with is that when people are traumatized they make jokes about stuff. Like I know that like I am I'm just like ha ha ha I went to pick up my dad from the crematorium and he was in a fucking gift bag um and I I found that hilarious and everyone's like oh my god you're taking the piss out of the fact that your dad's in a gift bag what did you expect him to be like in a car in a Tesco carrier bag or whatever and I was like well I don't really know what I was expecting my dad has never died before so I would make really inappropriate jokes and like I I think also people who have got ADHD often have like really witty dry kind of humour that that other people don't necessarily get. So you know we're talking here and like I think you're really funny you think I'm really funny and it's like great but then people listening there be like what the fuck are those two idiots no well I but no I think we are and people listening I think will be thinking the same thing I'm I'm sure of it. I see it coming now monthly like we could call it mad cringe and tell it could be like a podcast collaboration. Well let's do it oh wow like a podcast collab oh my god yeah I don't is that a thing does that exist we're making it exist it's when mad has sex with cringe and tell and I mean we don't have to have sex I mean we don't have to we're going down a different road now a different road but I'm but what I'm thinking is like we can actually have like a little and I you know this is where my brain goes because hey ADHD a special a special yeah a collab special a collaboration special that we do like I mean it doesn't have to be every month but it could be once in a while and we can actually have a picture of me and you sitting in a bed together with both our logos at the bottom and it can be like and we could we should do we should do an Instagram live where we do this.

SPEAKER_01 38:03

Yeah then yeah where we talk about both our podcast and and people can pop up and ask us questions.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Yes I think let's do that yeah let's I think very different podcasts but they both lean into each other but they lean into each other yeah exactly and I think we we do as well with what we do um and with the yeah I think great yeah let's do it and we and we could just basically just have like a like what have we done that's cringy since we've yeah yeah yeah what's gone all what's all gone wrong and sits up and cringy yeah exactly and also what are we mad about?

SPEAKER_01 38:34

Yes yes 100% Yeah let's do it let's yeah I'd love to do that I'd love to see that you heard it her first I can't even talk anymore you heard it her first everyone have this very nice cringe mad podcast also I could do voices so well there you go for voice acting if anybody would like um so the last thing that I always ask people well I say always ask it's it's been recently since my 100th episode what are you mad about currently I am mad about a mum guilt um I'm very mad about that because I have it a lot myself and I really really I'm trying to get rid of it um and uh sort of mum shaming mum guilt mum perfection yeah all of that I think is all in a kind of package um of of hate of that I I hate at the moment that I hate and very mad about and it's all these unrealistic uh you know benchmarks that we're supposed to hit and then feeling guilty when and it's I'm starting to work more now um loaders a bit loads of bit older I'm going on tour and then I get the guilt when I'm away and then when I'm here I get the guilt that I'm not doing enough for my career and then and then you see people on you know Instagram and they're doing they're making things what's that what I saw today that made me angry it made me mad mad someone's like if you're not making this for your daughter for Galantine's what the hell are you doing? I'm like what do you mean what am I doing? What am I doing?

SPEAKER_03 40:04

I'm getting ready for school making a Galantine's book it's like what what no I mean what just no just no what is that anyway and it's all like you know when I see people crafting and I'm like just like there's so many opportunities for mum shaming mum guilt and mum perfectionism going around do you know what and I'm gonna I'm gonna say this to you because of the fact that I I I talk to my clients about this an awful lot when you have a job when you are running your own business yeah when you are doing something like we have to do what works for us and our you are out there earning money so that you can give her a better life yeah 100% that mum guilt creeps in. Absolutely you're doing it for her doing things for her remember that she's your wife yeah she's my that's really great advice absolutely and also we inspire them you know when Lola um is like oh you know you're going to do a show and she's excited for me she misses me but it's also like oh mum is out doing these these these things you know you're showing her an amazing work amazing work ethic you are showing her that it's okay to fuck up because of what you do you're showing her that you don't have to be a people pleaser or a perfectionist all of these things in life and actually it's about enjoying life and I think this is young people don't have as much as as we had we were told go have fun go do this like you know just be who you want to be that's what I'm mad about. There's so many things that say you can't do that and you can't be who you want to be and I'm like fuck yeah I can yeah absolutely too right an article last week um and I spent ages um being interviewed for this article and then they came back and they said do you have any pictures of you with normal hair and I said no I fucking don't uh excuse me they did not say that and I said and I said no I don't and they said oh well our readers will uh won't respond to you with that and I said well fine maybe I'm not for your readers then um so it was fucking hell that's trying to like put you in some normal box that's that which is the complete opposite of what you do and what you stand for. Absolutely I'm like hey I'm Maddie I'm gonna be as weird as I fucking want to be because that's who I am yeah with that absolutely actually the you know the the shaming of people who are trying to have fun and trying to do things a bit differently it's like why we don't have to do that. So I love that you are out there doing that and thank you I absolutely love that and actually as she gets older she's gonna be like my mum comedian thanks we're gonna see you on like Comedy Central and stuff and it's gonna be absolutely brilliant. Oh I've got instable unstable internet connection boo unstable interconnect there's not even anybody in my house the dog's sleeping so it's not him why I don't know something just happened something just happened you froze in this sort of fabulous position um uh I I I couldn't hear you you just said comedy central and then I couldn't hear you after that on comedy central yeah we're gonna see you on comedy central uh thank you he's my friend this is great because I think I feel like we're friends now because I feel like that I do actually feel like that yeah I had that yeah yeah my microphone's being a bit droopy I think it's just erection you need to excite it a bit more Matty see hang on I think I just need to type it there we go there we go she's gonna get a bit of a screw and it went screw it went up again. I know that's it's just it's it's the way it works. We're all um how do people find you?

SPEAKER_01 43:41

Oh thank you for asking well I'm at the Funny Mummy UK on Instagram Facebook TikTok and all of that and my podcast cringe and tell is on Spotify and Apple Podcast so come and have a listen and laugh with us about all of our cringe stories.

SPEAKER_03 43:58

It's been so nice having you on And like I, you know, I I love doing my podcast, but there's just some some episodes where I just think I could talk to you all day. Same, same. I think this podcast collaboration should happen.

SPEAKER_01 44:08

It's happening. Oh, it's happening, babe. It's happening.

SPEAKER_03 44:11

So amazing at this.

SPEAKER_01 44:12

I agree. I agree with you.

SPEAKER_03 44:14

Everything happens for a reason. I feel like we were meant to see you.

SPEAKER_01 44:17

I agree. I I was I'm so I I've had the best time. I was nervous to do this podcast. Um I was nervous about it, but I'm really so glad uh that um you invited me on. Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_03 44:28

I always think that a podcast is only as good as the guests that you have on, and I always make sure that I have the most amazing people, the funniest people, and the people who can just have really fucking great conversations. Yeah, great conversations. It's been a pleasure to have you on. Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 44:42

I've loved it. Loved it.

SPEAKER_03 44:43

This this will not be the end of us.

SPEAKER_01 44:46

No.

SPEAKER_03 44:46

Um, I think like Medisa, we'll we'll we'll find somewhere.

SPEAKER_01 44:51

Medisa coming. It sounds like Medusa, but that's actually quite appropriate. Um yeah, babes. Yeah. Oh my god, get so freaky. My sister tried to do that. She tried to do this thing on Chat GPT where you merge picture of yourself now and when you're a child for some inner child healing thing, but it came out as this weird image of like this man strangling a child that looked like her. She was like, This is the opposite of what I want.

SPEAKER_03 45:18

It's not what we need in our lives, not the okay. Well, we will keep you posted on what is going on with Medisa or when Medisa, yeah, absolutely. The the Mad cringe and tell collaboration.

SPEAKER_01 45:30

Aladdin, Aladdin.

SPEAKER_03 45:32

That's what Aladdin, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 45:35

It's not like a ladder. I think Medisa's better than Aladdin. It's a work, it's a work in progress, people, but watch the space for all the collabs coming away.

SPEAKER_03 45:49

It's gonna be amazing.

SPEAKER_01 45:50

It's gonna be amazing.

SPEAKER_03 45:51

Thank you all for listening. If you have enjoyed this podcast, which I really fucking hope you have, because as I have really loved it, um please hit the subscribe button, um, give us a follow, give us a comment, subscribe to the channel, um, come and follow us on YouTube. I've now got 500 followers on my YouTube, and I'm gonna be able to do it. I know because it's really, really hard to grow. Yeah, so I'm quite happy about this. So come and follow the YouTube channel. Um and also just check out my stand store because I've got a free community for neurodivergent people where you can just come in, it's all about support. It is super fun, and you know, I give tips and stuff in there and just talk about my random ramblings every day. Um, and if you haven't bought it already, uh please buy my book. Mad About Money. Life and Finances with ADHD. And yes, it is a brick. I know it is.

SPEAKER_01 46:35

I was about to say that's really you th you wrote loads of words.

SPEAKER_03 46:38

I did. Um it's also fully accessible, so it's got massive, massive writing.

SPEAKER_01 46:43

I love it. Oh, I can't wait to read it. I'm well excited.

SPEAKER_03 46:46

I will send you a copy. Yay! But we will see you next time, everybody. Thank you so much for listening.