Ep118 Finding Your Voice After An ADHD Diagnosis- With Ileana Weynberg

Getting an ADHD diagnosis can be life-changing... but what happens after that?

In this episode, Maddy is joined by ADHD empowerment and mindset coach Ileana Wainberg for an honest conversation about everything that comes after the diagnosis—the grief, the relief, the anger, the overwhelm, and the journey of finding your voice again.

Together they chat about the reality of raising children while navigating ADHD, the challenges of medication, advocating for yourself in healthcare, hidden disabilities, entrepreneurship, burnout, sensory struggles, and why support shouldn't stop the moment you receive a diagnosis.

Ileana also shares her incredibly powerful personal story, from surviving trauma and being sectioned overseas to becoming an advocate who now helps others understand their brains and rebuild their confidence.

As always, expect plenty of laughter, a few rants, parenting chaos, and the occasional tangent—because that's exactly how ADHD conversations work.

In this episode we cover:

•  What nobody tells you after an ADHD diagnosis 
•  The grief of late diagnosis 
•  Medication journeys and mixed feelings 
•  Losing your voice and learning to advocate for yourself 
•  ADHD, autism and motherhood 
•  Running a business with hidden disabilities 
•  Burnout, energy management and executive dysfunction 
•  Sensory issues and healthcare experiences 
•  Why visibility matters 
•  Finding support that actually understands neurodivergent brains 

Connect with Ileana

🌐 Website: https://force-of-mind.com

📱 Instagram: @forceofmind23

Facebook & TikTok: Force of Mind

🎁 Download Ileana's free Restart Playbook to help you break out of ADHD overwhelm and get unstuck.

Join The Maddyverse

If you're neurodivergent, disabled, living with a hidden disability or simply looking for a supportive community that understands life, business and everything in between, come and join The Maddyverse.

✨ First month FREE
 ✨ Group coaching
 ✨ Masterclasses
 ✨ Community support
 ✨ Business, money and life help

🎧 If you enjoyed this episode, don't forget to subscribe, leave a review and share it with someone who needs to hear that they're not alone. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:02

Welcome to Mad About Podcast. I'm Maddie Alexander Grout, and this is the podcast where we talk everything that we are mad about through a neurodivergent and disabled lens. So MAB can mean so many different things. It can mean frustrated, it can mean angry, it can mean passionate, it can mean enthusiastic, it can mean totally and utterly crazy. But all of those things we cover. And today I am joined by the fucking fantastic Ileana Weinberg. And she is an empowerment and mindset ADHD coach. I mean, I I think we all need empowerment and mindset when we have ADHD because it's really difficult, isn't it, to actually like stay in the here and now and stay like positive, etc. And I think I can do with some of your tips today because I have two very feral children at home. It's the start of the summer holidays. Um I can 100% guarantee that one or other of mine or Illy's children are gonna come in at some point. Um and we will be mad about that. We will be absolutely mad about that. Say what I'm mad about this morning, fucking emotions. That's what I'm mad about. Harriet has just learned that she is frustrated. So everything, she's frustrated about everything. Um, so this morning she was like, Where are we going today? I'm like, I mean, the fucking entitlement of these children, right? They expect us to take them out every single fucking day.

SPEAKER_04 1:30

I had that this morning. Where are we going, mum? It's a holiday.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

We spent the whole day at the park yesterday. Like, I'm already it's it's hard, isn't it? It really is. So, like, I mean, I wanted a lion this morning. That was my entitlement. And I'm mad about the fact that they fucking woke me up this morning at stupid o'clock. As soon as James left for work, they were like, hello mummy. I'm like, it's half past seven. That's that's not even like that's not even that's before my normal waking up time, let alone my lion time.

SPEAKER_04 2:01

Oh, I was like, Oh, my children, they wake up at five.

SPEAKER_02 2:05

Um mine used to. They they're kind of getting to the point where they're like slightly better now. Fucking it's annoying though, it really is. Um, so we are, yeah. So I'm mad because Harriet is just frustrated all the time. And I she said, What are we doing? And she wanted to go swimming. And I'm like, swimming costs money. We're gonna go to a free family fun day because it's free. And she was like, But that sounds really boring. And I'm like, Well, I don't give a shit. That's sort of we're gonna do the free things when we can do the free things. Like, I'm not gonna take you. And then I said, We're going to Hoglands Park, and she was like, Poultons Park. I'm like, no, Hoglands Park. It's a very different type of park. We're not going to a theme park that costs hundreds of pounds.

SPEAKER_04 2:45

Like, yeah, just no, just no.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

Anyway. Anyway, it's lovely to have you on with us.

SPEAKER_04 2:50

So tell me on. Do you know what? I've I absolutely idolise you, so this is like a dream come true. I'm so excited to be here.

SPEAKER_02 3:00

Well, I just want to be maddy. Nobody wants to be me when they grow up, like never. Like, I think that would be a really, really terrible life goal. So just don't do it. Don't do it. Well, what what what about me do you want to do you want to be when you grow up, Illy?

SPEAKER_04 3:14

Because I can't um I just want to be as visible, as prominent, and as like you have a voice and you share your voice, and I'm starting to see that. Um I have I was only diagnosed with A UDHD, what, five years ago when my little well, Elliot was like three months old. So finding my voice has been very difficult, and then it was early in motherhood when I had my diagnosis as well. Um it was like learning to be a mother and getting the diagnosis and having the grief of that, and then like when I decided in my infinite wisdom to have another child.

SPEAKER_02 3:56

Um I I didn't even want another one, it accidentally happened. Damn you, sex. Yeah, I know, right?

SPEAKER_04 4:03

Um that was a surprise that didn't want to happen, but I love him to pieces anyway. He's beautiful. Um, it's just hard because you lose yourself in motherhood, you lose yourself after diagnosis because of you sit there and go, what if? What if I got diagnosed earlier? What if I you you have all these things? Um and I noticed that there wasn't any support afterwards. You either get shoved to an ADHD coach, which is not always um beneficial for you, or you get shoved on medication. Obviously, I was breastfeeding, so that didn't happen. Um and I've only recently been put on medication, which is still a bit iffy at the moment.

SPEAKER_02 4:42

Um how you find how are you finding the medication journey?

SPEAKER_04 4:46

So I'm on concerta and I started it at 18 milligrams um about two months ago. So it was really weird. It's like I've lost part of myself. Like my brain isn't fuzzy, like our brains typically have like 5,000 tabs, they go 100 miles an hour, and you like flip from thing to thing. It's quiet. But I don't know if it's too quiet.

SPEAKER_02 5:11

Um I don't like the quiet, if I'm being honest. Like, I've been I've been on ADHD meds for about three years now, I think I would say three, two and a half, three years. And I don't take them every day. Don't tell my prescribers. Like, by the way, this is not medical advice. Um I don't take mine every day. I take them on the days where I need to concentrate. So, for example, if I have a presentation I'm delivering, or if I am driving for a six-hour drive, yeah, or if I need to like if I'm speaking, like on stage or something like that. That's when I take my ADHD meds. I don't take them every day because otherwise I feel like my creativity goes and I don't like that.

SPEAKER_04 5:58

Well, I don't feel like my creativity goes, but I feel like me goes. So it sounds really it's really weird. Like I can focus on tasks, that's great, that's fabulous, but um, I'm still getting the brain fog, I'm still getting the not being able to speak properly when I do have bad days. Like yesterday I couldn't speak at all, and it was really frustrating, like my words weren't coming out, and I was getting really angry with myself. On those days, you need to give yourself grace. Um, but it's when you need your voice to communicate, it's really much.

SPEAKER_02 6:27

I mean, I've I need I need my voice to communicate all the time, and it's been it's been a week since I went to my dentist and I had like the most horrific dental treatment ever. Well dentist. They yeah, like and I had to go back yet. Oh my god, I went yeah, I went back yesterday to the dentist. So basically, for anybody who's listening who didn't see my video, um, I had a really traumatic time at the dentist. Like, I hate the dentist as it is, but I basically went and the dentist was like, you need the hygienist. I was like, fuck no, that is not happening. I have had the hygienist before, not a thing. Um, and they said, Well, we've got this new thing called airflow, which is basically just air, so it's not the scraping, it's not the horrible stuff, like it's not the noises and bright lights. Like, why don't you try that? So I was like, okay, all right, I'll try that. When I got into the appointment, the lady just starts doing it and she starts doing all the hygienist stuff. And I'm like, whoa, hang on a minute, like that I didn't ask for this. And she was like, you have to have it as part of it, as part of the treatment. Not only was it that, they also charged me an extra 80 quid for the hygienist that I never fucking asked for. So I was pissed off about that. Um, but if you can imagine, as an autistic person, your mouth feels one way, right? And then when it feels another way, like when I was at Isle of Wight, I broke a tooth, and all I could focus on was the fact that my mouth felt different.

SPEAKER_04 7:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:44

For the last week, I have been lisping, I have been not talking properly, I've been really like actually a little bit nervous to go on video because I feel like I sound like I am like just lisping really bad. Um, everybody in my family is like, you're fucking making it up, this is not a thing, like yeah, actually it it's not that's not how it is. So I'm like, okay, fine.

SPEAKER_04 8:07

But to use something and it's a big thing. Like, yeah, it really was. And it's and it's a hundred percent a sensory and autistic thing because your mouth genuinely feels different and it doesn't feel right, and it doesn't feel like it was, and it's hard to deal with like focus on anything else because of that. It's like in the form.

SPEAKER_02 8:31

And and I I was like taking Rufus out for a walk, and I'm like, Rufus! Like trying to call him, and I'm like, nope, can't even call my dog. Fuck's sake. Like it was it was horrible, but anyway, I had to go back yesterday because Harriet needed a filling, so I went back with Harry and I said, I had a really bad time last time. I really want to make a complaint. I'm really sorry, but like it really wasn't like what I was expecting. It's horrible. Um, also, my daughter is also autistic, and I need her to be treated with respect, and I need you to explain the process. Anyway, had the same fucking woman, the same fucking woman who totally dismissed me. She was like, Oh, I had you last week. I'm like, Yeah, and it wasn't great. Um, anyway, she just she accused me, she was like, You're being aggressive. I was like, I'm talking to you like I'm talking right now. I'm not being aggressive, I'm just telling you that I'm dissatisfied with the service that I've had from you. Um, and also I've asked you now.

SPEAKER_04 9:28

If you were going to be aggressive, you'd have your voice raised. You'd I would, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 9:33

And I don't I don't do aggression, really. It's like, I mean, I do passion, I do enthusiasm, I do madness, but I don't do aggression. I'm not an aggressive person. So it's not just different settings. But but it's like when someone tells you to calm down when you're angry, and it makes you more it's it's just invalidating. So I so I was cross. And we were having this conversation, and I basically said, Look, you know, you need to tell my daughter every step of the way what's happening. So that's why she was like, I've already told her. I'm like, no, I need you to explain as you are doing things so that she feels comfortable. Because at the moment, the look on her face, she does not feel comfortable, and this is exactly what you did to me last week. Anyway, it ended up getting a little bit heated. Um, I ended up like the dental nurse was lovely, she was really nice. She started explaining what I needed, so I said thank you to her afterwards, and I went outside and I just cried my eyes out. I was just like, I can't deal with it.

SPEAKER_04 10:30

You're advocating for yourself and your daughter, and to be treated like that without any Yeah, it's hard.

SPEAKER_02 10:39

And I think Yeah, and the prop the problem is that sometimes when you advocate for yourself, you get shut down, and that's and that is so invalidating. And that is it makes it one of Yeah, it does. And that's one of the worst things when you're especially as a content creator as well. So you go out there into the world, you're advocating for yourself, you're talking about the things, and then people shut you down and you feel shit for it. And you know, this is this is where we need to understand that advocacy is a long-term thing. We don't just do it once.

SPEAKER_04 11:07

It's not a short-term, yeah. It's not a short-term thing, it's not a short-term solution that you just talk about for five minutes and then it goes away. It's not. It's and honestly.

SPEAKER_02 11:16

Could you could you imagine? Yeah, could you imagine if I'd have stopped after like I mean, sick fluencer gate, that was two and a half years ago now? Could you imagine if I'd have stopped being a disability advocate just because the papers called me a sick fluencer? I mean, like I think I would have cried. I know. So I would have cried as well, because I wouldn't have had a job. So anyway, it's fine. But let's hear more about you and your journey. So, how did you like so you got your diagnosis like five years ago? Yeah, now you're on meds, but not great with the meds. We're not we're not enjoying the meds so much. No, but how did Tell me about your journey?

SPEAKER_04 11:56

So basically, I've I've had a lot, a long journey in various things, but I realised that there wasn't much support in regards to ADHD after um getting diagnosed. Like I said earlier, there's coaching, which it may not be beneficial because you need to find a coach off the coach and then have that conversation. Obviously, I know that I'm an AUDHD coach, but that's a bit different to the coaches that you get um on the NSS. Um, I'm not saying that they're worse. I'm not saying that there's anything wrong with them. It's just different. It is different, yeah. Or you get shuffled with meds, but you literally get your diagnosis, get your meds, and then you're left. That's it. There's nothing more. They don't teach you how to deal with your brain. They don't teach you how to do deal with the grief afterwards or the emotions afterwards, or feeling that you've been silenced for so long, you've been dismissed for so long, you haven't had that ability to advocate for yourself because you didn't know. And now you've got all these things that you're struggling with: executive dysfunction, rejection sensitivity, um, the grief, the anger, and the ADHD rate. Mixed with hormones and small children and triggers, it's so much fun. Um and a business, and a business, and a business, yeah. It's it's a lot, and you're literally just get left to deal with it all. And it's like, oh, it's not okay. So when I was advocating for mental health a lot, um, because I was sectioned, say, eight years ago now, um, because I tell me about that. So I um had an unfortunate incident where I was sexually assaulted um by my landlord, who I knew. Um, we'd known each other for ages. I think we'd known each other for eight years at that point. Um, but he was older than me and he I lived with him because I wasn't very well. Um I was in a hostel at the time because I was homeless, um, and he like took me in. Um, so he was meant to be helping me, he didn't really. Um anyway, because of that situation and the fact that my husband decided to move abroad uh to Malta, um, things were a bit up in the air. So when I had the court process, um, once that was finished and I won my court case, he was sentenced. Um won my court case. Okay. I was put on your honestly.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Um I'm really sorry that you went through that.

SPEAKER_04 14:31

It ha unfortunately it happens a lot more than you think. Um because they just take advantage.

SPEAKER_02 14:37

And it's usually people you know as well.

SPEAKER_04 14:39

Yeah. And and that's not great. Um when I went through the court process, um I was completely not myself. I was very scared, I had really bad anxiety, um, and when I was in Malta, I was diagnosed talking of children, um, I was diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Um when I was put on meds, the pharmacist didn't tell me the right dosage. I can see a little hand.

SPEAKER_01 15:09

Hello. Sorry, we did we did say it was gonna happen, didn't we? Yeah. Hello, little hand, hello little person.

SPEAKER_04 15:15

This is my youngest, Bo. He's like, say hello. So how old are your kids? This one is three and my eldest is five.

SPEAKER_02 15:28

Oh, love I say lovely age. They are they it is actually genuinely. I know it seems stressful at the time, but it is a lovely age because when they get older, they can talk back more and they're horrendous.

SPEAKER_04 15:38

Yeah, yeah. The attitude of my eldest is unreal. He's exactly like his dad, has an answer for everything. Um so when I got the medication, I wasn't given the right dosage, and I literally walked in front of a car um because I was so high. I was high as a kite, I didn't know what was going on. Um, so that's how I got sectioned. Um that was fun. I had two months in a uh Mount Carmel, which was the psychiatric hospital in a mixed ward. Um wasn't very nice to go through. They are a bit different over there. So they have a rigid routine, you're not allowed to deviate from it. If you deviate from it, they ask you why. So at one point I didn't want to shower because the shower that I preferred using, which was the bigger one, they watched you everywhere. They watched you because of they watched you soured, they they watched you go to the toilet, like you literally had someone with you all the time. It's gross. Um, but the shower that I used to use, which was at the very end, had a metal object in it that looked quite sharp. And because I was having a bad day, I was like, I really don't want to go into that shower because but I don't want to go into the other showers because they're too small, it it was an issue. So literally it was like a cubicle like this big where you have to shower in, and then you had another person next to you in a different shower, but you were being watched constantly, so it it was degrading anyway. Um but I w I had uh talking down to because I wasn't I didn't want to shower. Um it was just a rigid routine that you had to follow, and if you didn't didn't follow, they didn't like it. Um but two years in a foreign place.

SPEAKER_02 17:18

And that's hard for an AD that's really hard for an ADHD brain. We don't like routines. We like spontaneity, we like we like being able to be autonomous, and actually that's really difficult.

SPEAKER_04 17:29

Yeah, it was horrendous because I didn't have that. Um so obviously you're on different levels to depending on where you are. Um you're literally stuck with the nurse until you're deemed well enough to not be. Um but literally the routine was you're up at seven, you have breakfast. Um once you've had breakfast, you get like have a shower, you get dressed, then you have ward round, so you see the doctor or whatever. Um, then you have uh visitation, then occupational therapy, then you have to have a nap. After your nap, you get a sandwich.

SPEAKER_02 18:07

Um or I mean enforced naps, you can never you can never go wrong with an enforced nap, though. No.

SPEAKER_04 18:12

I felt like honestly, everyone in my ward was really old as well. Um, so it was it was like not really old, but older than me. There wasn't very young people, so I found it quite hard anyway to um and they all spoke Maltese and I could just about cope with it. Um, but you weren't given anything to do. That was my worst thing because you didn't have any books, you didn't have any colouring, you didn't have any literally nothing, unless you got occupational therapy and you could go get go paint, go have sprayed.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

What's supposed to do? Just sit there with your own thoughts. That's fucking productive, isn't it? Jesus.

SPEAKER_04 18:47

A TV that doesn't speak English, so like what what literally or speak to the people in the um same wall? To become more insane, like Christ. Oh and you weren't allowed to make friends because of that reason, because they had everyone had different issues. Like, how can you not become friends with someone because you're in there 24-7? There is nothing else for you to do. If you don't get visitors, which I didn't because I only have my husband, like who are you meant to talk to? What are you meant like what life are you meant to have? It's great. Anyway, so that was two months of uh pure fun. And after I came out, I didn't have anything, like I didn't have any transition. There was nothing. So I was given um leave, they call it leave for the weekend, um, where I could go back home for like a night or whatever, and then I'd come back the next day. But that wasn't enough. Like there wasn't enough of that transition for me to actually function in the proper world. So I literally um because obviously it was a foreign country, I didn't have benefits. So I literally had to go out of the um psychiatric unit, get a job, go for an interview, be in the job, and if I wasn't okay, I got put back in, which is exactly what happened. Because I said I didn't feel good, like, and they were literally like, Well, you're going back in the psychiatric unit. I was like, uh, I've got a job. Like, so that was fun. Um, but yeah, when I got out of there, they were like, Oh my god, you're an amazing person, you're an advocate for mental health, you've you've done this, you've got through it, blah, blah, blah. They put me in the newspapers, they put me on the TV, they put me on, but the interviews were in Maltese.

SPEAKER_02 20:32

Helpful.

SPEAKER_04 20:33

So they didn't ask, they asked me the questions they wanted to ask me, got the emotion out of me, but then had a panel judging me that I didn't know about and I couldn't translate because I was English. So that sounds lendo. It wasn't great. Um I had to speak in front of like people at the hospital to say how what I want to do next, which was like advocate for mental health and have a um cafe out there, which was like a mental health cafe that you could just drop drop in. No bubba. No bubba. Thank you. Um, sorry, my younger husband's come downstairs. Don't worry, don't worry. Bye team. But yeah, that was fun. And then after that, because of that, um, I was like, no, something needs to happen. Like, there needs to be an in-between, there needs to be some sort of help. Because, like, one borderline personality disorder is horrific. Then at LE HD and autism, you need emotional regulation, you need tools to cope, you need something to keep you going, to keep you occupied, to to know you need to understand your brain and why you go through it to then translate that into coping mechanisms. And still to this day, I find it really hard when I hear stories from clients that are getting rejected from the mental health system because they've got diagnosis. Um, like, but my My beautiful client, um, that has just gone through my program has had so much like positive things that have happened. Like, he's been able to advocate for himself now. He now understands framework. He's able to communicate his needs without feeling like he's lost his voice. And seeing that makes me so happy that I've done that, that I've managed to help that person. I want to help more people. That's my that's my passion. Um, because it's not okay being alone and being inside your head and having all these emotions that you can't deal with. Especially like as an entrepreneur, you've got a business to run. You can't stop your business because then you have no money coming in. So you need ways to cope and ways to manage that and manage your time towards your energy rather than um like burning out. Obviously. Absolutely. We don't recognize the signs all the time, but burnout is is our is not our best friend. Um, and it's all about managing your energy.

SPEAKER_02 22:59

It showed it shows up as much as a best friend though, doesn't it? It's like a it really does.

SPEAKER_04 23:04

Much fun.

SPEAKER_02 23:05

Unwelcome guest that doesn't bring cake. Oh my god, but why does it bring cake? Like, I don't know. I had cake yesterday, it was really nice actually. It was the first cake I've had since I started my Manjaro journey. Oh and it was really nice. I really enjoyed it. And I was just like, I mean, afterwards I felt like shit. Yeah. But I mean, that's that's the thing. You eat something nice and then the body goes, you're not allowed that.

SPEAKER_04 23:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:29

Manjaro.

SPEAKER_04 23:30

Mine's um I have an allergy to eggs, so I can't have cake all the time. I have to have special cake. And I usually could make it myself because it it's I'm allergic to eggs.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

I'm allergic to eggs, but I just don't listen to it. Oh, I'm highly like the the I'm I'm allergic to eggs as in like I will get like uh I get rashes all around me. Like I get like I get hives all over my arms, all over my legs, my back. So I can if I can if I eat a small cake, I'm okay.

SPEAKER_04 23:58

Yeah, my hospital job like literally empty pen, stabby stabby, hospital recess.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

Um no, that's annoying, isn't it? Like I'm hoping that mine doesn't progress because I do actually I quite like eggs. Pancakes are my favourite thing.

SPEAKER_04 24:13

Uh mine progressed from childhood. Because I just started avoiding things. Um it's worse now than it ever has been.

SPEAKER_02 24:22

I I actually think, and this is a weird concept, but like I have very small amounts of it.

SPEAKER_04 24:29

Yes, I have a reaction, but I reckon if I told you that's a good thing to keep your body. I reckon if we'll tolerate it more if you keep introducing small amounts. So you're can't because of the severity.

SPEAKER_02 24:42

Yeah, then that makes sense. I mean I'm not asking you to kill yourself, do you? No, okay.

SPEAKER_04 24:52

Eliminate the severity of it.

SPEAKER_02 24:53

But um I'm And this is the thing, people people don't think about like when when when we're talking about things like ADHD, when we're talking about mental health, we're talking about autism, we're talking about like n hidden disabilities, but hidden struggles in general, like people don't think about allergies as being a struggle, but they actually really are. Like I'm so I'm allergic to um wheat, eggs, um what am I that? Wheat, eggs, milk, uh linseed and uh oats. Yeah. That's fun.

SPEAKER_04 25:29

You can't eat anything.

SPEAKER_02 25:31

No, um I can't, but I do, I do, and like I don't have milk anymore because the the thing with m with milk it makes my stomach really bad. So I have I have almond milk.

SPEAKER_04 25:40

I have small amounts of it in like tea or coffee, but I can't um so I've noticed I noticed.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

Oh, Elliot's disappeared. I don't know where she's gone. I just have to filter there you go, she's back, we're all good. You're back.

SPEAKER_00 26:02

The person you have called is not available. Please leave a message after the tone.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Oh, I don't know what is going on there. Oh no, I can't hear you again, mate.

SPEAKER_02 26:13

Now, we had this problem to start with. Am I back? I'm gonna have to get out of it. Yes, you're back. We're all good. We're all good. We had a we had a the person you were trying to call is not available. Did someone try and ring you? My doctors. Oh no. I don't care.

SPEAKER_03 26:30

It can go away. It can go away right now.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

I'm not in the winter. I'm expecting blood test results today, so I 100%.

SPEAKER_04 26:37

Uh test results suck. Um, I've got to have loads of tests done soon. But yeah, I can have small amounts of milk, but I can't have I have an allergic reaction to sorry. I have an allergic reaction to milk protein, so I can't have like the protein shakes or the protein yogurts, which I was surviving of because that is the easiest thing to. So for those of you who don't know, us ADHDers can't hate make decisions over breakfast um or lunch or anything like that.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

So I eat the same thing for breakfast every single day. Because otherwise I don't have it because I get so overwhelmed.

SPEAKER_04 27:14

Yeah, because it's easy. So that's what I used to do. I used to have like a protein yogurt like that had like 20 grams of protein in it. It was it filling, it made me eat something and it was fine. But because of the protein, I now can't have it because it gives me an allergic reaction. Um same with protein shakes. Protein shakes are made from egg um or made from protein. Yeah. Um, and I've tried pea protein ones.

SPEAKER_02 27:45

Uh no. Just, I mean, I'm I'm not allergic to peas, but I have a mortal phobia of them.

SPEAKER_04 27:51

So like so the powder's really grainy. I can't get on with it. And I've tried, I've tried three different types of pea protein to try and like I've tried it with yogurt, I've tried it, like literally tried masking the grainy taste, and I can't, it makes me feel repulsed.

SPEAKER_02 28:10

No, no, no. Text textures and tastes. Like I'm the same. So I wonder actually, if if there's if if there is anybody else out there that has this, I really want to know about it because I am struggling with it. Um, because of my pots, I have to have salt. Yeah. So I try and I I have hydration sachets. The hydration sachets.

SPEAKER_04 28:33

Because the aftertaste is gross.

SPEAKER_02 28:36

Well, no. So my problem is not the I mean, I don't like the taste of it. So yesterday I had a prime hydration drink, uh, which is like salt and magnesium and all sorts of fucking expensive shit. I mean, I've I've found these, these are quite good. These are vitamin water drinks, um, apple and elderflower from um from so they're quite good. But I have a problem with my bladder where if I drink, if I drink electrolytes, I have to pee every 15 minutes and it interrupts my life. And it is really bad. And it gets it gets to the point where like if so last night, because I had that one electrolyte drink, I got up to pee five times in the night.

SPEAKER_04 29:19

That is horrendous.

unknown 29:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:21

You can't really being, yeah, woken up by yeah, I get it. Constantly. In fact, I feel like I need to maybe do a TikTok about this and see if there's anybody else who really should be. 100% because I'm like, the only other odd thing that I'm thinking of, like how to do it, is like actually like physically licking salt. Yeah. Like, I mean, because that's not gonna put the liquid in me, but then am I gonna have a heart attack? Yeah. I don't know. Like but if I don't drink enough water, I feel shit because of all the beds I'm on.

SPEAKER_03 29:54

100% I'm on.

SPEAKER_02 29:56

But then I also just from normal water, I don't get the I don't get the magnesium, etc. The magnesium and the the the things that stop me from shaking and stop me from being all like jittery and heart palpitation eerie, whatever. Yeah. Like fun with that. I was in hospital with that this week. Duh.

SPEAKER_04 30:16

And I've got I I've tried the gel, the gel is just my mum used to force me to uh drink aloe gel. You know when you used to have to drink aloe gel like aloe vera's bone. No, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 30:30

It reminds me of that and it makes me literally like it's it is the most horrendous, horrendous feeling ever. Like aloe glonispe.

SPEAKER_04 30:40

From pharmacy I can have because it's liquid. You just put it in water.

SPEAKER_02 30:43

But the gel. And there's and there's certain foods that I can't have either because they're too water, they're too watery. So like I realised the other day when I went, I went to a gig, um, and I thought, right, you know, Mounjaro, I can't have anything like fr deep fried or anything horrible because it will be gross. So I'll eat before I go. So I had a beetroot salad. Beetroot is such a diuretic that it was making me pee every like five minutes. It was horrendous. It was almost like it gave me a like a UTR, which is really weird. And I don't know how that works, but I have no idea. I really want to know if anybody else has this because like, and what the hell do you do if you've got pots and you struggle to drink water because your bladder just won't take it?

SPEAKER_01 31:27

Yeah, exactly.

SPEAKER_04 31:28

How are you meant to manage a condition that new drink with? Like makes drinking to me.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

I just my my bladder just feels like it is destroyed. And like I try I I drink as much as I possibly can, but I think it's also worse because I'm eating less, so therefore I've got less in my stomach. My stomach and bladder are different places, but they do interact with each other, and it's and actually like you have to process the water through your stomach. Um, so if there's nothing, it just comes through faster. And I'm just at the end of my tether with it because I need to fucking sleep. Yeah. And also having energy, yeah, low energy on fucking summer holidays when the kids are going, Money, where are we going? And I'm like, fuck off.

SPEAKER_04 32:09

It's a no-go, yeah. Like when you have low energy and see that's the thing, a lot of people don't realise how much sleep affects us, and not only like our mental health, but AUDHD is we are a lot less productive when we haven't had sleep. And our brains are have a lot more head, like we've got a lot more brain fog, we've got a lot more um because our brains are working a lot harder than that.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

And also, and then that, like I don't know if you have this, but if I have a bad night's sleep, then I won't take my meds in the morning because I know that I won't be able to nap because I've because my brain will be too wired. So I and surline, surtraline, and um, and by the way, again, this is not medical advice because I'm talking to you about all the bad things that I do. Um, but if I if I've been up all night peeing, then I won't take my meds in the morning because I mean obviously I'll take the ones that I have to, like my levithyroxin, because otherwise I'm you know I might die.

SPEAKER_04 33:06

But I won't take but I won't take my surtraline and I won't take my my ADHD meds because and last night last night so although I'm on levothyroxin, I'm on floxetine, and God knows what else. Um anyway, I still crash at three o'clock. Oh I crash at three o'clock. Even if I take my meds. Um but it's worse when I don't sleep, like I literally want to sleep all day. Even on my meds, even on my meds.

SPEAKER_02 33:34

It's really why why, and this is like why did whoever invent stupid disabilities have to put our 3 pm crash at the same fucking time that we picked the kids on the cross.

SPEAKER_04 33:46

School run, yes, uh so irritating.

SPEAKER_02 33:49

Yes, baby, I know. Yeah, stupid. I know, it's so irritating, like honestly. It really is. Because I have to, I have to like that's my nap time every day. I have to have a nap at that point. Like, literally, I can't get through the day if I don't have a nap at that point. Well, there have to be a lot of people. So many people are like school run.

SPEAKER_04 34:06

Yeah, but it depends on if I'm in hyper focus. If I if I have things to do, there's no chance. And then when I get home, I have to feed the ha the kids have to be fed as soon as they get home because they're both boys, and they will eat me out of house and home otherwise. Um, and then after that, I'll crash.

SPEAKER_02 34:25

But yeah, it's I mean it's easier now, mine are mine a bit older.

SPEAKER_04 34:29

Yeah, when you've got two small that can't actually do things for themselves.

SPEAKER_02 34:34

Yeah, it's difficult. I mean, I have to say it's the the dog is another problem altogether, though, because if I go upstairs and I have a nap, the dog were like yesterday, he ate a pool noodle and three pairs of my pants, including my favourite pair of pants. So, like the dog's. Okay, doggy. Doggy's not I mean they were clean, they were on the bloody washing line. But that's still not paying favourite pants, like no. I know. I have got one more pair of my favourite pants, but I mean they're I mean, don't get me wrong, they're Sainsbury's pants, but they're like one not ones that they do anymore. And I love them. Vintage. They're leopard, they're grey leopard print pants, and I really like them.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

No, that sounds really weird.

SPEAKER_02 35:15

Um but I am not looking for pants on vintage. No, for pants, like like new ones. Yes, like yeah, not old ones. No, that's gross. Um I didn't even think about that, that being a thing, but yeah, no, that's that should be. Anyway, we've gone very much off topic, which is very much what this problem this podcast is all about what we're mad about though, and we are absolutely mad about all of these things. So it it does it does make sense. We're mainly mad about losing my voice. Yes, yeah. And that and that is really, really important. Like, so at the moment, let's talk about your visibility a little bit. So, what what are you doing to be visible at the moment?

SPEAKER_04 35:56

So I um okay, one here. Um I have sorry, kid, well done.

SPEAKER_02 36:02

Gold star.

SPEAKER_04 36:04

Um, I have signed up to uh a few events as well that I'm gonna be speaking at. Um I've done quite a few networking events where I've had contacts, uh, contact leaders, which is fabulous. Um, but I'm also getting people's DMs and speaking to people. I have um, thanks to you, I've had a lot of people download my uh free restart playbook, which is great.

SPEAKER_05 36:28

Oh, brilliant.

SPEAKER_04 36:29

Oh, that's amazing. Um so I've had 11 people download that since I launched it, which is great. Um excellent. I also have new things coming up, which I'm really excited about.

SPEAKER_02 36:41

So tell me about tell me about the playbook.

SPEAKER_04 36:43

So the restart playbook is basically helps people stop the cycle. So we have a habit. Sorry, my child is kicking things and it's getting on my nerves. Um you can be mad about that, it's fine. Lovely sensory issues, like when they start kicking things over and over again. Please stop, baba. Oh, that's why you've got your He's got his Crocs on, so he's hitting the sofa.

SPEAKER_05 37:10

Ah crocs, the bane of everyone's life.

SPEAKER_04 37:14

Um I hate them, but he picked them up and absolutely fell in love with them.

SPEAKER_02 37:18

I'm like, oh no, Harriet's Crocs. I'm going to leave them here so that Rufus can eat them. Oh no, what an accident.

SPEAKER_04 37:26

So um when you get stuck, um you get in a loop, basically.

SPEAKER_01 37:34

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_04 37:35

You get in a loop. So there are seven ways in this restart playbook to get unstuck. This is my smallest. My eldest is somewhere.

SPEAKER_03 37:45

Are you gonna come say hello? Don't come this way, mate. Otherwise you won't be seeing.

SPEAKER_02 37:51

This is a great episode for the start of the summer holidays. This is what real parenting looks like.

SPEAKER_03 37:57

It is the first day of the summer holidays, isn't it? You broke up yesterday, didn't you? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 38:01

Are you guys excited about the holidays?

SPEAKER_03 38:04

Yeah, it was your last day of school yesterday. Are you excited about the holidays?

SPEAKER_01 38:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:07

I've got every three weeks left. Now do one.

SPEAKER_04 38:12

Yeah, there was three weeks left, and now there's zero weeks left.

SPEAKER_02 38:15

Oh, now we've we've got you for six weeks. Yay!

SPEAKER_04 38:20

Woo! So when you are doing something, I love this. Um, your dopamine your brain needs dopamine as an ADHD, um, your nervous system needs safety, and your mind needs the right conditions to switch on. So it gives you a framework to get unstuck. Oh my Jesus. Sorry. It's alright. Um it's completely free. You can download it um on my website. We'll leave the links um with you. But also because um I am amazing. I you are amazing, I'm very generous. Um, I've decided that because um because I want to help more people, basically. Yeah, I want to help lots of people. The first four people who join the real U Beyond Nady HD through the podcast will re will receive a founding member status. And instead of paying um $1,500 for the course, because it's an eight-week course, you will join for just a $997 and you'll get to help the future of the programme, like help shape it. Um, you'll receive exclusive support and lock in the price and get half price off any other course if you do sign up through this.

SPEAKER_02 39:40

Amazing. And what what are your social what are your socials, Ellie? Where can people find you?

SPEAKER_04 39:44

So I'm on Instagram at at force of mind23. Bless you, darling. Um I um my website is force-of-mind.com. Um and I'm on Facebook and TikTok.

SPEAKER_02 40:03

So Perfect. And my f my my final question for you is what are you really mad about? At the moment, my kids. Best answer ever for the start of the summer holidays, mate. And I'm so totally with you, and I can imagine that there will be millions and millions of other people who are feeling the same way as us right now.

SPEAKER_04 40:25

I love trying to navigate it is so hard to navigate a business and navigate um the holidays with them both being home. And I don't have a village to entertain them. It's me. My husband works full-time. I don't have a village either, so my husband works full works full-time, so I have that. And resources are not great.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

That's also something that we could be mad about as well, though. Our husbands working full-time. And then them feeling like just because we're self-employed, it's our responsibility to take the childcare. I will I'm mad about that.

SPEAKER_04 41:04

I will um talk to you about that another day.

SPEAKER_02 41:07

Yeah, yeah, we're all we're all mad about that. But Illy, it's been absolutely wonderful having you on today. And your kids. Thank you very much for all of you joining us. Thank you for having us. You're so welcome. And for everybody for everybody listening, um, please go and check out Illy. Um, also you can find her in the Madiverse. Um, the Maddiverse is my membership, um, which is for people who have got chronic conditions, neurodivergence, um, hidden disabilities, uh, disabled people, basically anyone who is struggling with life, business, money, work in general. Um, come and hang out. You can get a free month in my bio. So come and hang out with us. And we're such a lucky bunch, we're so helpful. Oh, thanks, mate. No, we do we do like it. And we do things like that.

SPEAKER_04 41:53

There's amazing resources in there as well. The resources are and they're free, and there's loads and loads of them.

SPEAKER_02 42:00

Exactly. There's so many, so many, and there's loads of masterclasses and all sorts of things. Um, in particular, it's really good for business owners. So you don't have to be a business owner to be there. Um, but if you've enjoyed this episode, please hit the subscribe button, give us a review, like this episode. Um, and Illy, thank you very much for joining us. I'm Maddie Alexander Grout, and we will see you next time. Thanks for listening. Bye.