Rock Bottom, Redemption, and Golf Etiquette (with Reno Collier)

In this powerful episode of Who Gave Jeff Allen a Podcast?, Jeff and Carollynn welcome comedian Reno Collier for an unforgettable conversation about hitting rock bottom, rebuilding life, and why cheating at golf says more about you than you think.

Reno opens up about his battle with addiction, the wake-up call that changed everything, and how his journey led him to a renewed purpose. From laughing through the struggles of sobriety to reflecting on life’s unexpected turns, Reno shares raw and hilarious insights into family, career, and the road to redemption.

🎙️ Topics Covered:
✅ The turning point that made him choose sobriety
✅ Golf as a test of character (and the wildest cheater stories)
✅ Hard truths, second chances, and finding peace
✅ Why Larry the Cable Guy almost ruined his handicap
✅ The power of laughter in healing

Jeff, Carollynn, and Reno bring a perfect mix of deep conversation, absurd humor, and unexpected wisdom—all wrapped in Reno’s signature storytelling style.

Join us for Jeff Allen’s Celebrity Golf Classic, a two-day event packed with comedy, camaraderie, and a whole lot of competition, all for a great cause. June 29th - 30th at Westhaven Golf Club

Your ticket includes: Dinner reception + comedy show and full tournament play. Open to golfers of all skill levels and ages.

Bring your swing, your sense of humor, and your heart for a good cause.

To find out more, head over to jeffallencomedy.com

Transcript

00:00:00:00 - 00:00:18:29
Speaker 1
And we're back. That's right. Back at the, whatever the podcast is called. I'm Jeff Allen, and with Carolyn Xavier. We were back in my, kitchen for now, and, we have a special guest. They're all special guests, but he's just out of rehab, and.

00:00:19:01 - 00:00:26:00
Speaker 2
Thanks for having me. Reno c, alcoholic addict.

00:00:26:02 - 00:00:39:29
Speaker 1
We've been looking forward to this one for a while. And, I don't know, we'll just let it run, man. You know, I what I love about you is, we we don't even have to ask a question. We just say you and you can just run and and entertainment for the next 45 minutes.

00:00:39:29 - 00:00:40:20
Speaker 2
I'm chatty.

00:00:40:27 - 00:00:59:26
Speaker 1
But, I met you. I will, I will just share with this, probably couple of years. A few years ago, it was during Covid, I know. Because everything to me is pre-COVID, post-Covid, which helps as my mind begins to deteriorate. At least I can break it down from pre 2020. The postwar 20 at Soldiers Child.

00:01:00:01 - 00:01:12:14
Speaker 1
So, I would like to start out with that right off the bat. Let's yeah. Let's talk a little bit about some of that's really you're passionate about me. Not so much. It's an hour and a half drive for me. And I told you it's, hard for hard for me to say no to your special.

00:01:12:14 - 00:01:34:10
Speaker 2
It's great. I didn't know I'd have a layover on my way here, but I got some snacks and, you have a beautiful house. Oh. It's gorgeous. Yeah. So a Soldier's Child is an organization. My buddy, Darryl Mac, and started 17 years ago. It was based off of one kid. There's that famous picture of a little boy getting a flag from a marine, and he's crying.

00:01:34:10 - 00:02:01:05
Speaker 2
And it was. That kid was from Murfreesboro. The kid's grandfather lived next door to my friend Darryl, and my buddy Darryl was like, we have to do something about this. Like these kids. What happens to them? What goes. So we started with one kid, and now we have almost 6000 kids. And what we do is it started off where we put on a birthday party in honor of the parent that they lost to their 18th birthday, and we had great partners in it.

00:02:01:05 - 00:02:25:19
Speaker 2
I mean, they got Gibson guitars and bicycle, I mean, was really cool thing. Gradually it grew because as time went on and the war wasn't so popular and people out of sight, out of mind, there's still has to be support for these kids. So they started these summer camps where the kids could go and all be together. You know, when a kid loses a parent like that, however it happened, you go to school and you're sitting beside a bunch of kids.

00:02:25:19 - 00:02:47:12
Speaker 2
They don't know what you're going through, right? Right. So we had these summer camps to get them all together. Well, thank God, now a lot of the kids that started out as campers have now become counselors. So they've gone through our program for the past years. And now when these kids get in there and show up to these camps, they actually understand what the other person's going through.

00:02:47:13 - 00:02:56:09
Speaker 2
You know, like they've lived it, they've been through it. So there's a lot of empathy, a lot of compassion, and you can laugh around people when they've been through the same stuff you've been through.

00:02:56:11 - 00:03:03:28
Speaker 1
Absolutely. And that's like, to me, the ultimate final stage of healing, yeah, is when there's the humor involved in the after all the pain.

00:03:04:01 - 00:03:11:22
Speaker 2
Yeah. No, it's, and we have hunting trips. JJ white went on a hunting trip there, kids, and we've had I mean, it's,

00:03:11:24 - 00:03:14:03
Speaker 1
It's funny, I've never been invited on one of your hunting.

00:03:14:07 - 00:03:22:17
Speaker 2
Now you have to show up to the golf tournament. And I complained, you live too far away. That's what I mean. Some people do that. Some people just don't have a heart for others just. And that's okay.

00:03:22:17 - 00:03:24:07
Speaker 1
On my behalf, I did show up.

00:03:24:07 - 00:03:34:19
Speaker 2
Yeah. You showed up to the one that's 30 minutes away. But if it's an hour, I can't go there. But why don't you come out and do my podcast? It'll take four hours to set up and take your coffee and a salad and tell us some jokes.

00:03:34:19 - 00:03:37:07
Speaker 1
Mug shots? You'd have an afternoon tea time. You know I.

00:03:37:07 - 00:03:52:18
Speaker 2
Did, but it's ten to cold. No, I you have played in our tournament and I very much appreciate it. And I'm prouder of that of being involved in that. And the only thing I do, I don't want to overspend.

00:03:52:18 - 00:04:10:18
Speaker 1
And again, I'm glad I'm talking to you, by the way, because I didn't have an idea of the depth of the organization. I came up because you asked me to show up, and I showed up. And to be able to really find out now, now I'm, I'm more interested in. And you probably haven't lost when you.

00:04:10:18 - 00:04:12:01
Speaker 3
Got his shirt back from goodwill.

00:04:12:01 - 00:04:13:01
Speaker 1
I really get myself, but I.

00:04:13:01 - 00:04:30:03
Speaker 2
Just good advice, dude. I'll tell you. I'll tell you the honest to God truth. When I first got involved, I didn't know what it was either. I was out on tour with Larry the Cable Guy. He had a golf tournament, Ron White had a golf tournament. I had a TV show on NBC. I was like, I need to have a golf tournament.

00:04:30:05 - 00:04:50:12
Speaker 2
So I found these guys. They found me and talk to me about it. So I really just did it for ego. Like, I really just did it so I could walk around, be like, I got a golf term. Speaking of golf tournaments, let me tell you about my golf tournament. I really did it for myself. Then after I got sober, I started noticing, oh my gosh, dude, this is real.

00:04:50:14 - 00:05:14:11
Speaker 2
Like, this is this is serious stuff and it's making a difference. It's not just showing up and getting drunk at a golf tournament. You know, there there are people who sit around volunteering their time, wrapping packages. We have a company that has sells boxes that donates the boxes to put the presents, and we have people that are sitting in a wheelchair themself taking care of this stuff.

00:05:14:13 - 00:05:43:00
Speaker 2
There's a lot of work that goes on that I don't do right. I'm kind of just a face of a golf tournament or whatever, but the things that they do, I'm, I'm trying in my older age as I progress in life, it's super old to I know, and they really are. I'm trying I'm trying to I don't want to say it, but I want to get up to heaven and have Jesus go, hey dude, those first 45 years were a dumpster fire, but I like what you did at the end.

00:05:43:02 - 00:05:47:13
Speaker 2
Get in your little break and I sneak in at the end. You know, the bell curve. Good sir, I.

00:05:47:13 - 00:05:53:10
Speaker 1
Always yeah, I always had the image of me running into heaven. Like one of those special Olympic kids coming to the finish line.

00:05:53:10 - 00:05:55:24
Speaker 2
Yeah, you to follow that.

00:05:55:25 - 00:05:58:05
Speaker 1
And the Lord is gone. You get there.

00:05:58:12 - 00:06:02:25
Speaker 2
You can do it. You can do it. This is just like the rest of your life. Exactly. Yeah.

00:06:02:27 - 00:06:10:02
Speaker 1
Yeah, it's, It's not the straight beeline to heaven for me. I'm kind of with you on that, I mean, either. Yeah.

00:06:10:05 - 00:06:13:16
Speaker 2
The line from yourself to Jesus has a whole bunch of zig zag.

00:06:13:16 - 00:06:14:05
Speaker 1
Zig zag.

00:06:14:05 - 00:06:15:16
Speaker 2
It's like a West Virginia road.

00:06:15:17 - 00:06:16:00
Speaker 1
Absolutely.

00:06:16:00 - 00:06:21:06
Speaker 2
Just going back and forth. You know, you're going to get there eventually after you get done throwing up and hitting a tree.

00:06:21:06 - 00:06:25:10
Speaker 1
But yeah, I'm not going to hear it. Well done, faithful son. I'm going to hear you, man.

00:06:25:17 - 00:06:31:05
Speaker 2
Yeah, we had our doubts. I think I'm getting here. I didn't know you'd be here either.

00:06:31:07 - 00:06:37:05
Speaker 1
Because, yeah, they over under on you. It was. Yeah. Pretty. Pretty high again.

00:06:37:08 - 00:06:41:28
Speaker 2
Shockingly you covered. Yeah. Good job. Good job puppy. Isn't it.

00:06:41:28 - 00:07:01:05
Speaker 3
Amazing though. You said the how you wanted to do the golf tournament to like, glorify yourself and how God will use like, ego. It happens in my life so much like vanity and ego will drive me to do something. And no matter what, it always flips into God's glory and I end up humbled through the process.

00:07:01:07 - 00:07:09:21
Speaker 1
Right? As you know, because you look at it from a different perch, you know, looking back now, going, Holy cow, his hand was in this whole thing. I really had nothing to do.

00:07:09:23 - 00:07:10:23
Speaker 2
That's it. Yeah.

00:07:10:23 - 00:07:13:16
Speaker 3
I mean, you think because God was involved you'd be a better golfer.

00:07:13:16 - 00:07:19:04
Speaker 2
But now what do they say? Even God can hit a two iron or something like that one I.

00:07:19:06 - 00:07:22:16
Speaker 1
Yeah. Let's go. Yeah. An electrical storm. Hold up your one iron.

00:07:22:22 - 00:07:31:10
Speaker 2
Yeah. I think when God hears what I say every time I miss a putt and he's probably like, you know what? You're not ready. You're not there yet. Yeah. Eventually.

00:07:31:11 - 00:07:33:14
Speaker 3
You know anything about golf, are you a good golfer?

00:07:33:15 - 00:07:48:12
Speaker 2
No, I mean, I'm if you took 100 people and I played with a hundred people, I'd be good. If I play with, like, Jeff or somebody that, you know, scratch. No, I'm like a 15, 14 handicap. I'll shoot in the 80s. I can sneak into the 70s, but.

00:07:48:13 - 00:07:53:24
Speaker 1
Well, if you look at the percentage of golfers who shoot in the 80s, I think it's under 10%. I mean, legitimately shoot in the year.

00:07:53:24 - 00:07:55:04
Speaker 2
So I'm in that 10%.

00:07:55:04 - 00:08:03:15
Speaker 1
Yeah, a lot of people don't play by the rules, you know, and it's, it's a it's a completely different game when you play by the rules.

00:08:03:17 - 00:08:18:00
Speaker 2
And, but it's the only way to get better. Right. But I if you cheat, there's something in there that throws you off just a little bit. When I started playing like, no mulligans, you know, I hit one in the woods kicking it out. That kind of stuff. You get worse.

00:08:18:02 - 00:08:18:21
Speaker 1
Right?

00:08:18:24 - 00:08:27:12
Speaker 2
It's the weirdest thing. And then when you go, nope, I'm going to take my medicine and finish this thing, you start getting better and I don't know what that is.

00:08:27:12 - 00:08:30:17
Speaker 1
I think it's because when you're cheating, you know, in inherently.

00:08:30:21 - 00:08:32:13
Speaker 2
Subconsciously you're off a little bit.

00:08:32:13 - 00:08:45:29
Speaker 1
Yeah. Yeah. I mean I've, I've done that where I've been, I've been sitting in a divot in the middle of the fairway and you're supposed to play from the hole. I mean, it's annoying because you just hit the ball in the fairway, which is hard to do, and there's your ball sitting in somebody else's chunk of a hole.

00:08:46:01 - 00:09:07:06
Speaker 1
And I've moved it out, and I don't think I've ever made a par. I made a lot of birdies from out of those divots. I I'd go, all right, I know, you know, but it is it's an interesting game because if they realize I think when the Tiger Woods Foundation came out and they started teaching it to children who have never been exposed to golf, the following the rules was number one.

00:09:07:06 - 00:09:23:13
Speaker 1
And it transcended into life. Yeah. That all of a sudden, no, you don't do these things even though nobody's watching. That's the integrity of of golf. You hear them all the time. These tour pros call penalties on themselves. You don't see that in basketball. You know. By the way, I stopped because I traveled.

00:09:23:16 - 00:09:25:04
Speaker 2
Yeah. I didn't hear the whistle, you.

00:09:25:04 - 00:09:41:29
Speaker 1
Know, and you didn't blow the whistle, but I traveled. Here's the ball back and it doesn't happen right. In golf, the integrity is. And, it's interesting. I think that's the. You know, they always said, if you want to get into a fist fight in a poker game, was accused somebody of cheating?

00:09:42:02 - 00:09:43:01
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:09:43:03 - 00:10:04:14
Speaker 1
Because there's it's hard to prove that. But it's one of those things that you just don't do, right? You just don't. And it's like the lowest form of looking at another human being. If you find out someone cheats in golf, someone cheated. Yeah. I mean, I just heard a story about a guy that I played a lot of golf with him, and someone told me this, and it's rumor.

00:10:04:14 - 00:10:10:24
Speaker 1
It's in you went, I don't know, but in the back of my head now, whenever I play with them, I'm thinking, is it.

00:10:10:27 - 00:10:11:22
Speaker 3
Through to that guy?

00:10:11:23 - 00:10:18:16
Speaker 1
Yeah. That guy. Because there's there are guys you probably know they never find a ball when you're with them. Now, you said you walk to 20ft away.

00:10:18:19 - 00:10:19:19
Speaker 2
Hey, five. Yeah.

00:10:19:20 - 00:10:22:12
Speaker 1
Here it is. Oh, wait a minute. That's green. You were hitting a white ball.

00:10:22:12 - 00:10:27:00
Speaker 2
Yeah. You're it was. Oh. He said now you didn't see what happened was a.

00:10:27:03 - 00:10:33:17
Speaker 1
Yeah range stripe on that ball. That's out a range ball right. Oh that's my that's my ball. They're playing at all time.

00:10:33:17 - 00:10:40:11
Speaker 2
Well years ago companies used to take people when they were up for a job to play golf.

00:10:40:13 - 00:10:40:24
Speaker 3
Oh that's.

00:10:40:24 - 00:10:59:16
Speaker 2
Brilliant. And they, they don't know why. Hey, man, come play golf with us. And they'd watch him. And if you cheat, you're out there like we're not hiring that guy. Yeah, but you know, so the guy who shoots 110 but counted every. So I play with these dudes, these three all black fellows that were all in Nashville fire chiefs.

00:10:59:18 - 00:11:22:11
Speaker 2
Right. So they look like it's the cat. Like you're watching Only in America or, what's the Eddie Murphy coming to America in the barbershop? Like? They have gray hair and they're the sweetest, funniest dudes, but they play by the rules. They all shoot 120, they don't care. But it's by the rules. And they razz each other like I've never heard.

00:11:22:11 - 00:11:44:17
Speaker 2
They've been friends for 40 years and their best play. But this was the greatest. So one of the guys is lined up for a putt. He hits his putt, it goes over the hole and goes like ten feet past. And I was like, I want to touch. Yeah. I go, I go, dude, I go, dude, you had the line and it's but he goes, oh no, I go, I go, you had the right read.

00:11:44:20 - 00:11:52:16
Speaker 2
And his buddy goes, yeah, but he had a third grade level.

00:11:52:18 - 00:12:04:00
Speaker 2
I love that camaraderie in golf. Yeah like the the fun. But dude. And if I would have tried to cheat or anything, they just wouldn't talk to me anymore, right? Like it was all it is. That's the way golfers are.

00:12:04:01 - 00:12:25:09
Speaker 1
It is a and Lenny, my manager, is extremely stickler for the rules. Yeah. And, I'll slap away a 18 inch putt, you know, and if we're playing for money, he'll go put it out for six. I go, oh, okay. He goes, I didn't give it to you. Yeah. And then that eats me up for three holes.

00:12:25:09 - 00:12:26:15
Speaker 2
So. Right. I can't.

00:12:26:18 - 00:12:27:20
Speaker 1
Finish that because my head is.

00:12:27:20 - 00:12:28:04
Speaker 2
Swimming.

00:12:28:06 - 00:12:35:04
Speaker 1
Yeah, but you're right. It's the rules. It's the rules, you know? And that's, And it should carry over into life.

00:12:35:04 - 00:12:44:02
Speaker 2
It is. It is like life, though, because if you think about it, when you're if you're doing something knowingly, that's wrong, it affects every other thing you try to do.

00:12:44:03 - 00:12:44:22
Speaker 1
Right.

00:12:44:24 - 00:12:48:18
Speaker 2
Just the weight of it lay in. There it is. It's like it just eats at you.

00:12:48:18 - 00:12:51:03
Speaker 1
Which is why you probably played better when you started playing by.

00:12:51:06 - 00:12:55:25
Speaker 2
100%. Yeah, and not only that, you start going like you can get a seven.

00:12:55:28 - 00:12:57:05
Speaker 1
On a hole. Yeah.

00:12:57:07 - 00:13:09:02
Speaker 2
But you feel like it's going to be okay because you're not carrying the weight around of that little voice on your head. Like when you know, you really cheated. You're, you're really not. You didn't really get it.

00:13:09:04 - 00:13:23:28
Speaker 1
You get paired up now, you travel like I did. And do you get paired up on the road with with people you don't know. Yeah. Any interesting stories of people you, you met that like cheat. You watch guys. Oh dude.

00:13:24:00 - 00:13:24:06
Speaker 2
So.

00:13:24:06 - 00:13:25:13
Speaker 1
Many people cheat.

00:13:25:15 - 00:13:32:14
Speaker 2
So many people cheat. And then you get done and they go, hey, let me. I'll tell you a story. So when I, we.

00:13:32:14 - 00:13:34:10
Speaker 1
Were hoping I was just, I.

00:13:34:10 - 00:13:49:17
Speaker 2
Was out on the road with the cable guy for like, 15 years. Yeah, right. Three years in, I'd be watching golf on the bus and he's like, that is what's the right word I can use. He. He thought it was a sport for sissies. He had a different language. But you know what I'm.

00:13:49:17 - 00:13:50:06
Speaker 3
Saying to me that.

00:13:50:06 - 00:14:07:07
Speaker 2
Tell me you get it said a grown up word. A lot of them, a lot of them. And it was. It was. I don't want to watch that. Put it on something like, oh, dude, you got to watch golf go. So finally I was like, just come out and hit some balls. He came out well, yeah. And now he's an addict.

00:14:07:07 - 00:14:08:08
Speaker 1
I know that's true.

00:14:08:08 - 00:14:24:29
Speaker 2
He we play 36 holes a day and I'd be like, dude, I have to be on stage in 20 minutes. Oh, we'll finish it. I it's my show. I'll do, Okay. You know, whatever. I'm changing clothes run into the stage. So I bring him to play at my course in Murfreesboro. And this is right when he started out.

00:14:24:29 - 00:14:31:23
Speaker 2
He does not cheat anymore because he can't. Because he's on TV and other people pay attention. This is like when he started.

00:14:31:29 - 00:14:32:23
Speaker 1
His in podcast.

00:14:32:28 - 00:14:47:24
Speaker 2
That's right, that's right. So he comes out and plays with me. We play. We're the only two people out there. It was on a Monday. The club was closed down, so they just let us have free reign. We get down. He's like, I shot in 84 and I'm like, you did not shoot an 84? I did, I did on the dang.

00:14:47:26 - 00:15:10:29
Speaker 2
And he was doing that like 120112. Wait, I wasn't paying one, two three. No. For and I'm like, oh God. So about six weeks go by, he goes back, you know, whatever. And I go in the clubhouse to sign in to go play. And the guy who cuts the grass comes in, he's got a bag in his hand, and he goes, man, I cut the grass.

00:15:11:02 - 00:15:32:08
Speaker 2
One of our members must be a huge Larry the Cable Guy fan. And I go, what are you talking about? He goes, I found like 18 balls and they get it done on Jeter. Yeah, I more than that. I knew it 84 I call him up, I'm like, hey, I got a bunch of your balls. He's like, oh look, I mean I did take some.

00:15:32:10 - 00:15:33:11
Speaker 1
That's why I don't put my name.

00:15:33:14 - 00:15:54:28
Speaker 2
That's right. But dude, he's so competitive that he couldn't stand like, people always like, you guys compete with each other. I'm like, he won. I'm on his plane, flying back to his house so I can get on a southwest flight and hopefully get an eight pass he want. You don't have to compete with me, but we're like, brother, like if I win at something and I was kicking his ass in golf then.

00:15:55:01 - 00:16:03:17
Speaker 2
Now, dude, he's good. Yeah, he doesn't cheat. He doesn't because he's playing on these tournaments on TV. Right. And you can't.

00:16:03:17 - 00:16:18:01
Speaker 1
Well that's it. That's what changed, really. Me, I was I played by the rules. I mean, I didn't roll the ball or whatever, but yeah. I'd pick up 18 inch putts and things, you know, but you play in these tournaments and then I started missing 18 inch putts.

00:16:18:03 - 00:16:18:13
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:16:18:16 - 00:16:30:08
Speaker 1
Under pressure you go you know you know and I love the line Johnny Miller said it. So somebody had a two foot putt. And a celebrity goes for you guys. That's a gimme right. And Johnny said no, that's the length that got me in the broadcasting.

00:16:30:08 - 00:16:50:08
Speaker 2
Right. Know you booed weekly on television had been off. We used to he used to come to our shows and we drank moonshine, you know, back in the day and run around. Oh, we're watching him on the bus, watching him. He hadn't played in a while. He'd been home drinking, fishing, hunting. His ball was about a foot away from the Holy walks over with his putter, flips it up, catches the ball, puts in his.

00:16:50:08 - 00:16:55:04
Speaker 2
Because he was used to being at home. He was in a tournament on national TV and they dang the.

00:16:55:04 - 00:17:15:15
Speaker 1
Hell that guy. Well, that's how relaxed he was. Yeah, yeah. What story about my dad. It was very funny when I mentioned strangers because my father was never one to let things slide. With with strangers. Me, I'm not looking to get beat up, right. You know, I mean, to me, I don't care if that's the way you want to live your life.

00:17:15:18 - 00:17:33:26
Speaker 1
So we play nine holes with this, with this father, son, I. And it's one of those where you're in the woods, in the woods, in the woods, chips it out, rolls it up, rolls it up. Two putts. Put me down for four, you know. And then finally I got the eighth hole. My father looks at the guy, goes, why do you even bother coming out here?

00:17:33:26 - 00:17:48:19
Speaker 1
Why don't you just sit in a bar, have a couple cocktails, fill out a scorecard and go home? And he goes, what are you talking about now? They all was getting the blows. I've seen it. Just let's play a real, actually round of golf, right? What do you care? Right? Guy cheats. I mean, if you're playing for something.

00:17:48:26 - 00:17:50:16
Speaker 1
Yeah. You know, then. Yeah. I'm getting ripped off.

00:17:50:16 - 00:18:15:27
Speaker 2
Oh, I that's that's just old. Like my grandfather was like that. Like you can get a 15, but you're writing down 15, right. You know what I mean. Like there's and same like when with cable guy. Like he doesn't lie or cheat or on. I've never seen him on anything. But there's something about golf that caught him in the beginning where he had to, like, figure out, well, it doesn't matter, you know?

00:18:15:27 - 00:18:31:05
Speaker 2
Yeah. He didn't want to listen to me get drunk on the bus and tell him he sucked for four hours. Got kicked your butt today. And so, you know, he's, like, at four, five. But people, after they figure it out, you get better. Now he beats me. Yeah. Legitimately beats, you know what I mean? Like.

00:18:31:08 - 00:18:32:25
Speaker 1
Well, it's because you quit drinking.

00:18:32:27 - 00:18:38:01
Speaker 2
You know what? I got you better, by the way. Eight years, it'll be. It was eight years the day after Christmas.

00:18:38:02 - 00:18:39:19
Speaker 1
All right. You want to talk about the bottom?

00:18:39:25 - 00:19:03:07
Speaker 2
Yeah. Yeah, absolutely. I had a bunch of them. I got, I had a period when I down shifted and hit the gas. I had a television show that was on that they they'd already cast for the second season. They canceled it. And I was like, I was I was an alcoholic at this point, but not bottomed out.

00:19:03:10 - 00:19:26:11
Speaker 2
Then I was like, you know what? I got my family and I got this tour with Foxworthy and England Cable Guy. They go, we're going to shoot the movie, and it's over. And I'm like, well, I still got my family and my ex-wife's like, I want a divorce in six months. That's when I went into kind of counting down, well, if I can live.

00:19:26:15 - 00:19:33:06
Speaker 2
The doctor said I may have five years left at the time. Really? Yeah. So I'm counting down in my head. I'm going like, okay, cool.

00:19:33:08 - 00:19:36:06
Speaker 1
What what came to that? Did you. My liver.

00:19:36:08 - 00:19:42:20
Speaker 2
My liver numbers were out of this world. My kidneys were shutting down the mess that America has.

00:19:42:20 - 00:19:44:07
Speaker 3
A beautiful joke about it.

00:19:44:10 - 00:19:46:00
Speaker 2
About to go into the doctor.

00:19:46:05 - 00:19:47:12
Speaker 1
Yeah, well. Let's hear.

00:19:47:17 - 00:19:53:12
Speaker 2
So I got. Yeah. Oh, well, that's the thing is, it's true. I go, I go in the doctor's office.

00:19:53:15 - 00:19:56:05
Speaker 1
People just pause. And when liver. Damn. 3:00 in the.

00:19:56:05 - 00:20:14:17
Speaker 2
Afternoon when my doctor, doctor Scott, we become friends because I was in there all the time and they'd been telling me, like, dude, I was showing up to the doctor drunk, like 3:00 in the afternoon. I'd set it for then, you know, my sweet spot. And I go in and I'm like, I'll be in and out of here because I'd lie, you know, for so long I got.

00:20:14:22 - 00:20:15:14
Speaker 1
I used to.

00:20:15:16 - 00:20:35:01
Speaker 2
Lie all the time what the doctor say. He said, just keep doing what you're doing. Meanwhile, he's like your kidneys on the floor, you know? Yeah. So I go in, I open the door. And my wife, Sandy, now was sitting in there with the doctor, and I'm like, hep. Like, I was like, she can't be in here, you know?

00:20:35:03 - 00:20:49:03
Speaker 2
And they're like, hey, man, Reno. Sit down. We need to talk to you. And there he's there. And the liver doctors there, and they pull my chart out and they're like, you know, Reno, if you can see your kidneys are shutting down, your liver shutting down. You know, if you don't quit, drink, you're gonna be dead in five years.

00:20:49:03 - 00:21:11:20
Speaker 2
And I was thinking I could drink for four more, you know, like, I got that, and my doctor is like Reno year and a half here. Yeah, you're turning yellow. And I was like, I came into this world jaundice. I'm going out of this world. You. Yeah. So, yeah. That's right. You know what I mean? So I'm counting down in my head like, all right, if I live this long, my daughter will be 14 or 15, and my son will be 18, and they'll be far and left along.

00:21:11:24 - 00:21:12:28
Speaker 2
And, you know, isn't.

00:21:12:28 - 00:21:23:20
Speaker 1
That funny how we protect the beast? Oh, yeah. Immediately. I mean, it's like this voice inside, you know, the beast is going, no, we're going to be together. Yeah. Now you got to figure out no matter. Absolutely, how to rationalize. Okay.

00:21:23:20 - 00:21:42:17
Speaker 2
Yeah. So, like, I'd be on a I was on a cruise. I couldn't walk by the railing because I was going to jump off like, oh, well, I was into this like I couldn't anything I thought that might kill me. I, I was like, I'll do, I'll do it or I'll, you know, this, I start having these thoughts like, well, this would be all right.

00:21:42:20 - 00:21:51:15
Speaker 2
You know, I just disappear. The life insurance is still good. I fell off the side of a ship. You know, my kids will have more money and this will be like this. Whatever. And I went.

00:21:51:17 - 00:22:04:12
Speaker 3
I'm sorry. Can I ask a question? Yeah, yeah. Did you have those types of intrusive thoughts before? But then when the depression got so bad, you'd hold on to the intrusive thoughts and then really start to deep dive and kind of fantasize about them.

00:22:04:14 - 00:22:11:20
Speaker 2
I was so full of myself, I didn't have them until until my ego got broken down.

00:22:11:23 - 00:22:14:08
Speaker 3
You just feel like I'm a rock star. And then everything was like.

00:22:14:08 - 00:22:33:16
Speaker 2
Yeah, I can do whatever I want and it doesn't matter, and blah, blah, blah, and I'll drink through it. And I got this and look at me. I almost got a TV show. The thing that was crazy was when I was younger, I remember watching comics on stage and you see the open mic go up and they're like, you've seen them on The Tonight Show and David, look, I believe that.

00:22:33:22 - 00:22:49:26
Speaker 2
Yeah, I was in the back like, oh my God, these guys are rich. I didn't know the guy was making $200 a week and he made it all up. You know what I mean? I'm like, this is unbelievable. I only do ten minutes and I'm doing this. I got a deal with ABC. Oh my God. And then I get into it and I'm like, what is going on it?

00:22:49:26 - 00:23:10:19
Speaker 2
This, you know, this isn't what those guys said. And they're like, this whole business is a joke. But every time I'd sit in the back and I'm like, if I could only get on TV, I'd be happy. If I. If I could get my own show, I'd be so freaking happy. If I could get in a movie, I'd be so friggin happy every single time I got something, I was more freaking miserable because I was going.

00:23:10:21 - 00:23:21:24
Speaker 2
When it doesn't fulfill you, when you spend your life and throw everything you have into something, get it. And it doesn't do what you wanted, it will send you into a world that is really hard to dig.

00:23:21:24 - 00:23:22:23
Speaker 1
It's a crash and burn.

00:23:22:23 - 00:23:41:19
Speaker 2
That's a crash and burn. And then on top of that, you know, when my ex-wife filed for divorce, you know, I'm like, you're leaving me? I should have left you. You know, like that in my head, I'm like, what are you talking. You're leaving me? Oh, yeah. You know, and I didn't think she was that smart until I saw her attorney in court.

00:23:41:19 - 00:23:44:13
Speaker 2
And I'm like, Holy, she's Einstein. This is the most brilliant woman.

00:23:44:13 - 00:23:45:26
Speaker 1
I've ever seen. Giving it some thought.

00:23:45:27 - 00:23:48:07
Speaker 2
She's been working on this for about eight months. I didn't said.

00:23:48:07 - 00:23:49:10
Speaker 1
This wasn't an impulse.

00:23:49:10 - 00:24:08:09
Speaker 2
That's right. Yeah. This had been building. Yeah. So I, I just I went through I'm sure I was depressed. I didn't talk to anybody about it, I didn't, I just kept drinking and drinking and drinking. And one night I'm out in the back porch with Sandy. And we were dating at the time, and I was like, you know what?

00:24:08:12 - 00:24:26:02
Speaker 2
I was crying. I'm like, I can't, I can't, I can't do that. I don't want to live. I don't want to do anything like, I just I can't take this anymore. And I knew I was dying. You can feel when your body starts shutting down, your brain is going, hey, man, and you can fight it off for a while.

00:24:26:02 - 00:24:44:06
Speaker 2
So what I did is I decided that on the day after Christmas, this was a Thanksgiving. The day after Christmas was going to be my day and I was going to I was going to be done. So that seemed like a good idea. And I said, okay, I got a month to drink. How much can I drink in a month?

00:24:44:08 - 00:25:01:09
Speaker 2
Because I'm never going to get to do it again. So I'm like, I'm like, I'm only going to drink red wine. No one can chug red wine. I can, I can drink it, squeeze the bag right out of the box. So, I mean, I am trashed for a month. I mean, not a waking minute where I'm not like, oh my.

00:25:01:09 - 00:25:14:14
Speaker 2
What is Sandy's like, dry heaving. It's 10:00 in the morning. She's like, you're drinking again. I'm like, I got 19 days. Oh, wow. Yeah. So I mean, I'm just blistered for a month. It comes time to quit.

00:25:14:18 - 00:25:16:27
Speaker 1
Can't imagine why you're just one of the lead.

00:25:16:29 - 00:25:40:08
Speaker 2
You know what? She had her own problems. I'm just kidding. Yeah. So it gets. It gets to the day, and I'm like, all right. I drank like a fish on that Christmas. And I'm like, all right, that's it. I'm good. I'm done. I wake up the next morning, about an hour into it, and I start throwing up all over the place, puking, shake.

00:25:40:08 - 00:26:04:17
Speaker 2
I was shaking so bad, bad that Sandy couldn't lay in the bed. The whole bed I was. I sweat through the comforter. I sweat through my pee look like Milo's iced tea. Just dark brown gunk coming out. My kidneys were starting to shut down. I didn't know any of this at the time, and I didn't understand what detoxing was, so I started really flipping out.

00:26:04:17 - 00:26:25:00
Speaker 2
I'm in nothing but my underwear. I'm sweating this colored sweat like the sheets were an orangish tent that was going through. I started hallucinating. Yeah, I started hallucinating and like, Sandy's trying to get me to go to the hospital. I wouldn't go, and she's calling a friend of ours that's a doctor. And he's like, he could seize out and die.

00:26:25:00 - 00:26:40:25
Speaker 2
And I'm like, you're not taking me. I'm not going anywhere. Like I thought I was. Just remember the movie Ray, when Ray's like, no way I'm going through it. No more needles. I'm taking it for summary. I think I'm a blind black blues singer, and I'm not going to do it either. So she's freaking out, calling the hospital.

00:26:40:25 - 00:26:49:01
Speaker 2
I'm laying there shaking puke and coming out of every thing come out of. I'm yelling at her. This went on for like four days, by.

00:26:49:01 - 00:26:51:27
Speaker 1
The way, we're going to reach out to Milo's Tea.

00:26:52:00 - 00:26:53:02
Speaker 2
Yes.

00:26:53:05 - 00:27:00:12
Speaker 1
The sponsor of this episode, Unsweetened Tea.

00:27:00:14 - 00:27:19:21
Speaker 2
Do you like red caps and your kidneys shutting down? Have we got an iced tea for you? Yeah. So I'm like, I'm screaming. I'm screaming at Sandy. Like I'm like. I'm like, quit singing those songs. And you. And she's like, what are you talking about? I'm like, quit saying, oh, show showtunes. And she's like, Reno, I'm not singing.

00:27:19:21 - 00:27:39:24
Speaker 2
And you wouldn't know a show tune if you were in the show. And I'm like, I can hear you. And like, it was like, not right. So we finally get to New Year's Eve and I'm starting. I'm still shaken, I'm still sick. But I was able to have like some bubbly apple, you know, the pretend champagne and cooked a steak.

00:27:39:24 - 00:28:11:26
Speaker 2
And we stayed in and I shut down for about. I canceled everything for two months, canceled every show, canceled everything, and just locked in on staying at home. Now, I chose to go to meetings twice a day, 90 and 90 days. Now, listen, I want to tell you guys something. I am not trying to promote AA. If you ever see me out drinking again, it is not AA's fault, right?

00:28:11:29 - 00:28:20:06
Speaker 2
It's my fault. So don't go. Well, it didn't work for him, so it's like it works. Yeah, but if you see somebody jacked up, it's their fault. Yeah.

00:28:20:06 - 00:28:27:16
Speaker 1
I always say to people I'm the reason it was an anonymous. That's right, that's right. Eight years in, I was not a poster boy for the program.

00:28:27:16 - 00:28:53:00
Speaker 2
Right. And and it's. I had to find God. Jesus. I was one of those people. I went to church a lot. I didn't really listen. I could talk a good game. I knew enough about the Bible to have people go, well, he's a good Christian guy. Didn't really apply any of it. Kind of just don't let me die and go to hell maybe type of thing.

00:28:53:02 - 00:29:15:17
Speaker 2
So I did. I found a God. That's I left that never left me right. Like, I, I, I was always like, God didn't care about me if he did that. No, God did care. I didn't care about myself. And I had this thing in my head. Well, people go, just ask God and he'll take it away. And I was picturing this big dude in the sky with a white beard, and they'll zap me and go, bam!

00:29:15:17 - 00:29:31:24
Speaker 2
You're no longer an alcoholic. I didn't think like, well, God also gave me a brain and a soul and a heart and all these emotions that I can use. It's a lot of work. It's not a it's not a zap. You out of something. I got myself into that mess, and I had to figure out a way to get myself out of it.

00:29:32:00 - 00:29:36:10
Speaker 2
Come to find out, I couldn't get out of it. God got me out of it. I tried a million times in.

00:29:36:11 - 00:29:37:09
Speaker 1
A community, didn't do.

00:29:37:09 - 00:29:58:06
Speaker 2
Squat. The community 100%. Yeah. And I found two. That I was a liar, a huge manipulator. My kids never ate anywhere that didn't have booze when they were little. Like, we want to go to Chick-Fil-A. I'm like, chick fil A, Sam. Sports bars got better chicken than anywhere. You know? They're like, it's 10:00. I'm like, they're hoping they open at 10:00 every morning.

00:29:58:09 - 00:30:17:19
Speaker 2
So everything, everything was maneuvering everybody out of my way so I could get what I wanted. You know, it was whether it even these small little things or it was all about me, man, and what I wanted and what I was going to get my hands on. And, you know, I could hide it. I could sneak about it.

00:30:17:21 - 00:30:38:12
Speaker 2
I remember one time I was on a plane with Dan. Larry, whatever. Larry coming back from a show, I was hammered drunk, and he's like, you having a good time? And I was like, you had to shut up, man. Only talking about, of course, man, having a good time. He goes, cool. He goes, you know, when we go to all these different cities and you get blackout drunk with all these people, none of them care about you at all.

00:30:38:15 - 00:30:48:07
Speaker 2
So when you're dying, you're going to have me and your kids and your mom sitting there watch you die. So I just want to say on behalf of them, I really appreciate you giving me that.

00:30:48:09 - 00:30:52:17
Speaker 3
Oh, wow.

00:30:52:19 - 00:30:59:20
Speaker 2
And I told him to go, but that's stuck in my head, man. Like that really was like.

00:30:59:27 - 00:31:00:29
Speaker 1
Well, because you respect him.

00:31:01:03 - 00:31:19:02
Speaker 2
Dude. I respected him more than I would have ever told him. I loved him more than I ever would have told him I loved his wife. They they gave me hard love. Especially his wife, Cara. She wouldn't talk to me. She's like, I don't want you around my kids. I don't know what you're going to say. I don't know what you're going to do.

00:31:19:05 - 00:31:31:06
Speaker 2
I don't I don't want my kids seeing this. And in my mind I'm like, shut up. You turned on me, right? What is wrong with you? You're not a real friend. A real friend. No, a real friend would do that.

00:31:31:06 - 00:31:31:26
Speaker 1
Absolutely.

00:31:31:26 - 00:31:42:00
Speaker 2
And that that's that's the hard love that I needed without my ego and people trying to appease me or, you know, don't upset him.

00:31:42:02 - 00:31:42:09
Speaker 1
Right. Well.

00:31:42:09 - 00:31:44:02
Speaker 3
That's business. Get something from you.

00:31:44:02 - 00:31:49:07
Speaker 2
Oh, it's it's all. And that's what I was doing. I was trying to get everything from everybody else.

00:31:49:07 - 00:31:58:10
Speaker 1
But that's where the program is. So because of the honesty. Yeah. You make a statement and everybody laughs and you're wondering what they're laughing at because they told themselves the same lies.

00:31:58:10 - 00:31:59:14
Speaker 2
Yeah. You know.

00:31:59:19 - 00:32:10:11
Speaker 1
Yeah he believes that B.S. now he what later. But you know and that's where I've learned to laugh at the pain and the and also get a look at the suffering I was causing.

00:32:10:14 - 00:32:11:03
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:32:11:05 - 00:32:28:08
Speaker 1
I mean, a little old lady poked me in the belly one day, after 18 months of sobriety, all I did was complain about Tammy for the entire 18 months and raise my hand this bad. She did that. She finally pokes me in the belly and goes, I've been listening to you for quite a while. Maybe the problem isn't your wife.

00:32:29:01 - 00:32:37:09
Speaker 1
And I wanted to pounder little head into her chest cavity, you know, but that kind of honesty is. Is it chewed on me driving home?

00:32:37:09 - 00:32:37:25
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:32:37:27 - 00:32:51:19
Speaker 1
You know, you don't forget those little seeds. And I believe those are God's messengers that God uses us to plant those seeds. And it's not always stuff we want to hear, and that we wanted to build us up.

00:32:51:21 - 00:33:10:04
Speaker 2
Surrender for me. And I think that's kind of what you're talking about. Like, you get in this, you blame everybody, blame everybody, blame everybody, and nothing's your fault. And it's they did this to me and they did this. Why would they do this to me? Don't you know that did it? So I kept hearing people say, like, just give it to God.

00:33:10:07 - 00:33:35:07
Speaker 2
Just, just just leave it there and give it to God. And I'm like, all right, God, here you go. And then I run out and do whatever I want. Gentlemen, you know, crazy. Do you know Keith Albert stat? Yes. The comedian. Okay. Years ago, we were doing a show in South Bend, Indiana. I was about 26 years old, maybe in the throes of doing anything I could get my hands on.

00:33:35:07 - 00:33:48:18
Speaker 2
I mean, I came out of college, my mom said, she goes, you don't fit in anywhere. Figure out your favorite thing to do in the world and figure out how to make money at it. And I was like, I love getting trashed and I like telling dirty jokes. I'm a comedian. Yeah. And she's like, that's not what I meant.

00:33:48:18 - 00:34:05:28
Speaker 2
I'm like, no, that's what you said. La la la la. So that's the formula. Yeah. Right there. So we're up. We're up in South Bend, Indiana, and I'm in the throes of blowing it out. And we walk by the church or whatever. And I'm sitting there. I'm like, man, like, I haven't prayed in a long time. And Keith is Catholic, right?

00:34:06:00 - 00:34:29:17
Speaker 2
And I was like, Keith, I go, I'm going to go in there and pray. And he's like, okay, cool, whatever. You know, he's walking around looking up. So I go in this cathedral and I'm looking around is hardly anybody in there. There may be two other people. There's somebody lighting a candle or whatever. And I get down in the pew and I'm sitting there and I'm like, okay, you know, I'm like, all right, God, you know, I just, have done this in a long time, and I feel like this and people can think I'm nuts.

00:34:29:19 - 00:34:46:15
Speaker 2
I don't care what they think. I know what happened. And it was like a and it was like, if you don't stop drinking now, you're going to destroy your life. And I flip, dude. I mean, I'm getting goosebumps right now. I looked around, I thought somebody said it like I thought Keith snuck up behind me. It was Jack with me.

00:34:46:17 - 00:35:10:18
Speaker 2
And I'm like, going. I'm like, you've got to be kidding me, right? By the time I got from that pew to the back door, I convinced myself that I was crazy. That never happened. That's the effects of drugs and alcohol in the mind. I'm making stuff up. And I was drinking in two hours. You fast forward 25 years, and I look back at that and I go, I said no to God.

00:35:10:22 - 00:35:28:14
Speaker 2
Yeah. I was like, now, yeah, that was cool the way you did that and freaked me out. And I know it was real, and there's no way that that was just in my mind. That was really cool. But you know what? I know better than you did. I know what I need to do to do this, and I completely gone against it.

00:35:28:16 - 00:35:48:28
Speaker 2
And if you have feelings like that or thoughts like that and you turn against him, I promise you what he said is going to happen, right? And you're going to live with that. And when you live with that, it's like cheating in golf. It's like anything else. You have that in the back of your head. Knowing what the right thing to do is.

00:35:49:06 - 00:36:04:01
Speaker 2
I got a sign like, I got something and and to, to me, if you'd asked me before that, can that happen? I'd have been like, yeah, to lunatics, to those whacked out Christian people that are running around hitting tambourines, playing with snakes. But it doesn't have a real people.

00:36:04:01 - 00:36:05:07
Speaker 1
You got a problem with people like that?

00:36:05:10 - 00:36:05:29
Speaker 3
Not got a problem.

00:36:06:04 - 00:36:11:29
Speaker 2
I saw your snake pit. I'm cool with that. And I like your banjo. But what I'm saying is.

00:36:12:02 - 00:36:13:18
Speaker 1
No, I'm with you. I know exactly what you.

00:36:13:18 - 00:36:21:21
Speaker 2
Know what I mean? And I said, I said, knowing what just happened, that it's not real.

00:36:21:24 - 00:36:40:17
Speaker 1
Yeah. There were, When when you were talking about that, there's something I probably I don't remember ever sharing it, but I'm talking 19, 20 years old. And I was laying at a friend's house, Sierra, he had a home, but he was living with his girlfriend, so he let his brother have the house. So I would just crash there.

00:36:40:17 - 00:37:00:13
Speaker 1
I didn't have to pay rent like they wanted rent, but I convinced myself that they didn't need it. Yeah. So, you know, I didn't pay rent, but I was laying on this mattress on the floor and, just night after night, drank and drank and drank and drank. And I'm laying there one night and I'm crying in my pillow because I knew I was destroying my life.

00:37:00:13 - 00:37:26:20
Speaker 1
I knew it, and, this flash of white light. It's sure as I'm talking to you now, I can still see that that moment, this flash. All right. White didn't hear a voice. Didn't hear anything else. But I've never forgotten that flash and when I've heard people talk stories about their encounter with the divine, and they mentioned things like that, I got the reference point.

00:37:26:27 - 00:37:47:16
Speaker 1
Yeah, it was there. I don't know what it meant. I don't know what it was, but it was a moment that shook me to my core, laying in bed crying at 20, whatever. I don't even remember how old it was. But 19, 20, 21. But years later, yeah. You know, I get into walking my my walk with my relationship with Jesus, and then I hear people tell stories like that.

00:37:47:16 - 00:37:48:11
Speaker 1
I believe every one of them.

00:37:48:17 - 00:37:52:10
Speaker 2
Dude, it's funny because nobody wants to tell them. But as soon as you do, somebody else has one.

00:37:52:13 - 00:37:53:00
Speaker 1
Well, absolutely.

00:37:53:04 - 00:37:54:09
Speaker 2
Yeah. Like like you're right.

00:37:54:09 - 00:38:01:16
Speaker 1
It's you're right in the same world, you know, again, I, I mocked what I believe for so many years.

00:38:01:16 - 00:38:02:02
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:38:02:05 - 00:38:10:24
Speaker 1
I mean it's funny, the first two years I became a believer and I got into the Christian marketplace. Yeah, I worked for every one of those televangelist.

00:38:10:26 - 00:38:12:03
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:38:12:05 - 00:38:17:12
Speaker 1
It's as if. Consider. I'm going to meet you again. We're gonna meet these people and find out they're actually normal, decent human beings.

00:38:17:13 - 00:38:30:20
Speaker 2
Do you know something else about it? You could ask me a question about anything that happened within a three year period around that happening, and I couldn't tell you. Right. But I remember that, like, it happened right before I came in your house.

00:38:30:20 - 00:38:48:20
Speaker 3
But it always seems like how you explained it. And you were like, I convinced myself I did this, but it seems like every time I have a close encounter where I feel like truly one with Christ, like I have this amazing, beautiful experience and I'm like, this is the peace, this is the joy, this is the nudge to go this way.

00:38:48:20 - 00:39:11:24
Speaker 3
It's always like when Christ gets baptized and then goes to the desert, it's like you turned away from there. And then you were doing you're 40 in the desert, and the devil came after you ten times harder because you had like this close experience. And it's like, I always wonder how much of that is like the Ephesians six, the we wrestle with the principalities of darkness that we don't understand that aren't in this realm.

00:39:11:26 - 00:39:21:02
Speaker 3
Yeah. It's like you touch Christ like that and you have this amazing. And then it's like, okay, well, the devil is going to come after you in my, which I don't know, but ten times harder. That's how it.

00:39:21:02 - 00:39:35:13
Speaker 2
Seems. I agree with you 100%. The closer I get to God, the harder the pull is away. I think when you're coasting through being. Yeah, not trying to follow Jesus and you're just coasting through, nothing bothers you because there's nothing to mess with.

00:39:35:15 - 00:39:43:07
Speaker 1
That's at first where God says your mediocrity. I'm. I'm paraphrasing. Basically, straddling the fence makes me puke. Yeah. You know, pick a side.

00:39:43:07 - 00:39:55:28
Speaker 2
And dude, I'm like a heart monitor, like, oh yeah, man, I'm all in. And then it's like, yeah, I hit my toe. You my head and I'm back up and it's back down. Yeah, it's it's a, it's a constant.

00:39:55:28 - 00:40:00:07
Speaker 1
Recall that scorecard keeping. Yeah. Yeah yeah I'm way behind.

00:40:00:10 - 00:40:02:05
Speaker 2
Yeah. You know but I'm.

00:40:02:08 - 00:40:22:18
Speaker 1
I my father was I, I just wasn't. One of the things I wanted to touch upon was your relationship with your dad. Because the other day when we were going to play, I called you to play golf, and you said, I'm going to go play with my dad. Yeah. I got a little emotional thinking. I. I didn't appreciate that when he was here.

00:40:22:21 - 00:41:02:20
Speaker 1
He loved golfing with me. I had a hard time golfing with my father. He. He would just completely. I wasn't even there. He'd hit a bad shot, and that was it. It was all about his game, about his golf thing. There was no socialization. It was slamming clubs, breaking clubs, cussing, screaming, hollering, throwing whatever. And then I would go in the parking lot and apologize to the two guys we got paired up with, because my father was such an ass, and it was a period of a very discernible moment in Arizona where I started to walk to the parking lot, and I'd been in recovery for ten years, maybe at this point in therapy.

00:41:02:22 - 00:41:24:26
Speaker 1
And I said, I'm done apologizing for the guy. My mother would call me and say to me, I know you don't know this, but your father really appreciates playing golf with you, right? I know it's hard for you. And I said, mom, it's it's the hardest thing in the world to do because I don't get any joy out of it.

00:41:24:28 - 00:41:42:22
Speaker 1
It's a chore, and it's almost like an obligation. So when I called you that day and you said, well, I'm gonna go golf with my dad, I thought, well, you got a wonderful relationship with your father, but most of us didn't know. Do you do now or so I'll.

00:41:42:24 - 00:42:07:00
Speaker 2
We had a really hard time. My parents got divorced. I went to a military school. I got to military school. My grandmother died. Who was like the heart of our family. I was living at the school from 14 to 18, and then my parents got divorced while I was there. I'm a mama's boy, and I had a lot of anger and built up big time.

00:42:07:02 - 00:42:28:07
Speaker 2
We had some drag out real. I mean, we fought in the backyard like we had real clashing of heads. It took me getting sober to take responsibility in a lot of ways for my fault in that. And I don't want to speak on what he did.

00:42:28:10 - 00:42:30:20
Speaker 1
But I didn't help having kids of your own.

00:42:30:24 - 00:42:51:13
Speaker 2
That was the total turnaround point. Once my kids got old enough that they didn't want to do stuff with me, I was like, well, not only that, dude. I mean, when you get into having a kid, you go, I found a totally new appreciation for my parents, right? Yeah. That that I had taken advantage of and I'm like, God, you were so my thought my dad was so jacked up and this and that.

00:42:51:13 - 00:43:15:01
Speaker 2
And then I find myself, well, look what I did. That's so it really is hard. And I couldn't handle a lot of it. So I did this, and I did what I wanted, and I traveled all the time and I did all these things. So who am I to sit there and look back? One thing my dad did, and I've told him this numerous times, if I had something going on, he was there for all of our problems.

00:43:15:03 - 00:43:36:25
Speaker 2
If I had a baseball game six hours away from our house when I was 11 at military school, he'd drive and go to the game. I still if when he left, I was like, frickin jackass, you know what I mean? But in retrospect, what if what his strength in life was, was being the guy who shows up. If you called him right now and said, I know you don't know me, I'm Jeff, I'm Reno's friend.

00:43:36:25 - 00:44:01:27
Speaker 2
I got a flat tire. He would be there in 20 minutes. That's his gift, right? No matter who it is, no matter what it is, he will and go and do it. But does he have problems outside of that? Of course. So we are. But when I started concentrating more on his strengths, and I'm not trying to dig, but like I still have the ability to go do it with him, what do I want my kids to do when I'm that age?

00:44:01:28 - 00:44:03:00
Speaker 2
You forgive me?

00:44:03:01 - 00:44:04:06
Speaker 1
Absolutely.

00:44:04:09 - 00:44:30:02
Speaker 2
Deal with, oh, I have some little quirks and things that get on your nerves. So what that do did a lot for me. And he deserves to be treated in a way that. Now, by the way, you got the sounds like I've got it all together, I don't I we still can lock horns and all that. But the things that changed when I got sober, I didn't even notice until people told me empathy.

00:44:30:05 - 00:44:34:04
Speaker 2
I had zero empathy for anybody. But you better feel bad for me.

00:44:34:06 - 00:44:35:20
Speaker 3
Right? Oh, he's a martyr. Yeah.

00:44:35:22 - 00:44:53:09
Speaker 2
Always a martyr. Always the sad. Oh, you know, look at him. He's so happy. Then he laughs all the time. And da da da da da da. Yeah. In front of a crowd right. You know, behind the scenes. Why is everybody against me. Why do they do that. Why does he have that. And I don't have that. How come he how come he has the jet and I got it?

00:44:53:10 - 00:44:58:10
Speaker 1
Is that not the most insidious cancer? Oh, you the human condition.

00:44:58:11 - 00:44:59:27
Speaker 2
Eat yourself from the inside out.

00:44:59:29 - 00:45:19:25
Speaker 1
Envy is. And it's funny, I've shared this, in other comments. I'm not going to go deep into it, but I catch it creeping into my life today, and I, you know, I you get it. But fortunately, I'm mature enough in my walk in my, in myself to go, wow, that's that's a cancer that cannot get a grip.

00:45:19:27 - 00:45:32:26
Speaker 1
But it is the most and it's it's so ubiquitous today with social media, people turn out of social media and they naively think that those people that are looking at Instagram, this is their life every day.

00:45:32:26 - 00:45:33:18
Speaker 2
Yeah. You know.

00:45:33:18 - 00:45:51:08
Speaker 3
What amazes me, though, is it's so funny how envy will pick where you find the holes in yourself. Like, for me, I've really struggled with, you know, you you pull up Instagram and it's these beautiful women or whatever. And it's not like, oh, I want their career or I want their brain or I want their degree or their family.

00:45:51:08 - 00:46:02:04
Speaker 3
It's like, how come I don't look like that? How come I wasn't born like that? And then it's like, whatever your insecurity is, the envy will just attach itself so quickly.

00:46:02:05 - 00:46:02:27
Speaker 1
That's a great point.

00:46:02:27 - 00:46:04:00
Speaker 2
That is a group that.

00:46:04:01 - 00:46:25:16
Speaker 3
Like, it's so crazy. But I'll get with Brant and I'll be like, well, I need to have a better body because if I had a better body, you would love me more, because that's what I was told when I was a kid with The Biggest Loser in the Swan and Thunder thighs and, you know, take your pick of all the Rice Krispie treat, dying, dieting or whatever those rice cakes were like.

00:46:25:16 - 00:46:45:00
Speaker 3
And that's what I was fed. You're nothing unless you look like this. Specially growing up in Los Angeles. So now it's like I have this, like, drive to be financially successful just so I can buy that. And I'm like, well, none of that comes from Christ. Christ picked me to look like this, to be this person, to walk on this path, to eventually glorify him and be purified with his love.

00:46:45:02 - 00:46:50:08
Speaker 3
And it's like it's just that insidious. And it's just it's like you said, just like a disease.

00:46:50:11 - 00:47:11:28
Speaker 2
You know, a secret. Nobody tells you is when you hang out with people like people that I've looked up to in my life, especially, you know, in this business. And then you get to hang out with them and see them behind the scenes. And I'm not talking about cable Guy, I mean, and but very, extremely wealthy. Successful people are some of the most miserable people I've ever been around in my life.

00:47:12:01 - 00:47:22:20
Speaker 2
And I never would have thought that. Like, I always start like that. They have everything. If I had money, I would have zero problems, right? Dude, I, I, I don't see very many.

00:47:22:22 - 00:47:40:20
Speaker 1
A great a guy, a wealthy friend of mine years and years ago because I was broke and I, he discipled me, he led me, and he was a multi-millionaire doing comedy for 100 bucks a week, which I couldn't get my head around. If I had money, I wouldn't be doing this. And, he told me, you don't want a lot of money.

00:47:40:20 - 00:47:55:11
Speaker 1
I go, I don't. He goes, you can't handle what little you have. And he says, I'll tell you what wealth is done for me. I don't worry about money. That's it. Yeah. Every other worry you have, I have. Yeah, but my kids are going to do my my wife, my marriage. I'm trying to pull everything together, all of that stuff.

00:47:55:11 - 00:48:18:08
Speaker 1
But the money, you know, I don't worry about it because I have it and I've known how to manage it and I can control it. And then eventually he lost all of it, invested in it, and a business lost it all. I didn't hear him complain once. Not once. Yeah, and I talked to him. I don't know what he did with his wife, but I tell you this, he just couldn't understand because he thought it was God's will for him to build this business.

00:48:18:10 - 00:48:33:20
Speaker 1
Couldn't get his head around the fact that it would fail like it did. Right? And he goes, I never thought I'd have to worry about money again. And anyway, he ended up, you know, building it all back up through, oddly enough, a financial planning business. He figured who better to handle your money than someone who's.

00:48:33:22 - 00:48:36:13
Speaker 2
Who's lost all their school knows how to make it.

00:48:36:15 - 00:48:52:26
Speaker 1
So. Lost it all so I could help you avoid those pitfalls. Yeah. And, but again, his walk with Christ was such a blessing to me to watch. I don't know how I would have handled that right, because I would have looked at the money as my self-worth.

00:48:52:29 - 00:48:54:00
Speaker 2
I did. Yeah.

00:48:54:00 - 00:48:58:29
Speaker 1
So then it goes away. And now your worth is gone. Now you're worth less. Yeah.

00:48:59:01 - 00:49:01:06
Speaker 2
Now his worth telling my story. Yeah.

00:49:01:06 - 00:49:23:26
Speaker 1
And Christ, I don't understand. I'm confused as to why you would allow this to happen to me. Yeah. And again, you get into this traffic cop thing. That's where C.S. Lewis said most people portray God is something the average eight year old does as a man on the throne in heaven, with his finger pointing and directing traffic and everything.

00:49:23:28 - 00:49:43:11
Speaker 1
That's very childlike. So why did this happen? Well, if you ask him today, 20 some years later, his life has been so much more blessed because of that tragedy, because of the business he started. He was a people person. You had guys like this? Oh, yeah. Are you one of these people? When you go into a pro shop, you walk out with two business cards.

00:49:43:11 - 00:49:45:20
Speaker 1
They're friends for life. Yeah.

00:49:45:22 - 00:49:46:08
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:49:46:08 - 00:50:02:11
Speaker 1
That's, you know, Henry Cho was one of those guys. Yeah. Henry would have go in and go. Oh, yeah. God, I've known these guys for 30 years. I played golf there 30 years ago, and I've been in touch with and, you know, and Phil was like that. He was just, a people person. So he gets into a business which was all about people.

00:50:02:13 - 00:50:07:23
Speaker 2
And that childlike perception of, you know, he said, be an eight.

00:50:07:26 - 00:50:08:20
Speaker 1
Or.

00:50:08:23 - 00:50:27:22
Speaker 2
Alcoholics have. So when I, I remember, I go, I go, I got to go to this meeting and this dude was a Vietnam vet. He's got dreads, you know, just his name. I don't say his name, but every every morning I'd walk in and he'd go. He'd go, Rhino. If no one told you they love you today. I do.

00:50:27:24 - 00:50:44:09
Speaker 2
And I was like, dude, I love you too, man. Older black dude. Every single morning. Hug me, love me. Everything. So he's who I talk to when I go in there. And I was really kind of wigging out and I'm like, I'm like, I keep trying to say his name. I'm like, do like, I don't know what's going on.

00:50:44:15 - 00:51:06:19
Speaker 2
I've been sober like six months. I go, I went to go USA and road go karts yesterday. Then I got in the batting cage for like an hour, then I'm playing Skee-ball and then I'm playing asteroids in the arcade thing. I go, what the hell's going on? And he goes, Rhino! How old were you? When you start drinking?

00:51:06:21 - 00:51:18:29
Speaker 2
I go, 14. He goes, my brother, you 14? I go, what you guys? I bet you argue like you're 14. Two and I'm thinking, shut up, butthole. You know, like I was like, no, wait a minute. He's so right. Like I quit maturing.

00:51:19:00 - 00:51:19:24
Speaker 1
Well, that was it.

00:51:19:25 - 00:51:20:08
Speaker 2
Yeah.

00:51:20:10 - 00:51:34:29
Speaker 1
When I say the same thing, I said the same thing. I was 31 years old when I got sober, and, physically, I was going through puberty. Yeah. I mean, I was all over. I was chasing around. Yeah. You know, and it was like, what the heck is going on with me? And go, when did you start drinking?

00:51:34:29 - 00:51:36:00
Speaker 1
14 year, 14?

00:51:36:01 - 00:51:55:21
Speaker 2
Year 14. You are now an adolescent white. Yeah. It's so weird when you look back and look at how I handled things and what I eat. I handled money like I was 14, right? You know, let's fly 25 cakes, you know, like, what is wrong with that guy? You know what I feel like I'll pick up the bar tab for the whole place.

00:51:55:27 - 00:52:09:29
Speaker 2
Yeah, like it's not Chuck, that wasn't $10 like that was. But when I got the here's what, let me know where I was. When I look back at it, when I got divorced, the only thing I harped on was how much money I lost.

00:52:10:01 - 00:52:11:04
Speaker 1
Yeah. Not the.

00:52:11:06 - 00:52:11:26
Speaker 2
That's where my brain.

00:52:11:26 - 00:52:14:01
Speaker 1
Was at the carnage you left behind, or now.

00:52:14:04 - 00:52:32:00
Speaker 2
I lost all my money in this. And it was her fault, right? Yeah. Right. Like that. That shouldn't be what you're thinking about. It should be hard when you're going through a divorce and you have kids like you shouldn't be thinking about. I lost my house. I built this freaking house. You know how the time I spent on the road doing this.

00:52:32:03 - 00:52:42:08
Speaker 2
And I did this, and I built this. And you're going to take this from you? Are you out of your mind? You don't take this from. I would take this from you, right? You know that type of craziness.

00:52:42:08 - 00:52:59:29
Speaker 1
Which is why there's so much carnage. Yeah. And, you know, when Tammy and I were at that point where we filled out divorce papers and everything, I was already in the program for 7 or 8 years, and I just told her he take it everything. Yeah. I said, I'm not putting my kids out on the street and I'm not putting, you know, and all of that.

00:52:59:29 - 00:53:05:03
Speaker 1
I'm just sorry it didn't work out. But had it been 7 or 8 years earlier.

00:53:05:06 - 00:53:06:00
Speaker 2
Yeah, it.

00:53:06:02 - 00:53:07:15
Speaker 1
Would have been a different conversation.

00:53:07:15 - 00:53:14:23
Speaker 2
Well, I did the take everything. I just did it without knowing it. She ahead of you? I didn't mean to do the take everything.

00:53:14:23 - 00:53:15:24
Speaker 1
He had a plan.

00:53:15:24 - 00:53:20:00
Speaker 2
Yeah. You didn't. Eight, eight months of a plan. Yeah.

00:53:20:02 - 00:53:20:12
Speaker 1
And all.

00:53:20:16 - 00:53:21:11
Speaker 3
The commitment. That's a.

00:53:21:11 - 00:53:23:24
Speaker 2
Deployment. Yeah. Yeah, that was something.

00:53:23:27 - 00:53:37:02
Speaker 3
Okay. So what would you say to somebody that's struggling with alcoholism or somebody that's been in the program for a while? What is like the one thing that stuck with you? You're like mantra. What are you?

00:53:37:04 - 00:53:58:15
Speaker 2
So what works for me is not letting my brain get ahead of myself. Like, I have to get God in my head before I do. Like I have to kind of get focused and get into a place, but is I A.D.D. out real bad? So if I don't stay focused on what I'm supposed to be doing, I have to like.

00:53:58:21 - 00:54:21:00
Speaker 2
It's like running the football. Like sometimes you just have to put your head down, hit the hole and run through it and don't stop. Right? So if it's working something out of a book or working on something in my life, or just kind of. But the main thing is, is talking to other people. Struggling selfishly keeps me from drinking.

00:54:21:02 - 00:54:21:18
Speaker 1
How that works.

00:54:21:19 - 00:54:22:10
Speaker 2
It's crazy.

00:54:22:10 - 00:54:37:21
Speaker 1
It's it's almost the economy. I mean, it is that paradoxical is that in order to hang on to something, you have to let it go. You know, that that whole thing, it sounds cliche. You see it on bumper stickers, right? But there's a deep, profound truth to that.

00:54:37:23 - 00:54:58:00
Speaker 2
But we spend our whole life playing sports and stuff. Never give up, never give up, never give up, never surrender. And then it's like you need to surrender, right? And it's like, but, but ever since I was five, I've been told. Don't. The game's never over. Never give up. Fight to the death, go to the end. And then it's like, now you need to just let it all go.

00:54:58:03 - 00:55:12:10
Speaker 2
I really struggle with that. I struggle with, like, I can give it to God and be like, this guy gave it to God, and then if it goes a different direction, I just choke the life out of it, you know? Yeah. You don't know, you know? And it's like, wait a minute, that's what I was talking about, that heart monitor.

00:55:12:10 - 00:55:22:00
Speaker 2
Because it's like, all right, I gave it to God. I'm up here. And then I'm like, this isn't going the way I want. So everybody start doing what I want to do. And then it's like, okay, give it to God. And then it's, you know, it's just.

00:55:22:00 - 00:55:38:15
Speaker 1
And I used to hate that saying, this too shall pass. I was just talking to Tammy about it last week. I go and it's still sticks with me that when you meet people and they're on this pink cloud. And when I first saw this, it'll pass. Oh, yeah. I never say it to them, but it'll pass. Yeah.

00:55:38:15 - 00:55:48:26
Speaker 1
And when you're down in the dumps or whatever, it'll pass. It'll pass. I used to hate that because I finally walk in. I got it, you know, like a true golfer. You know, I got it, I got it, I got it. Now I'm going to be at peace the rest of my.

00:55:48:26 - 00:55:51:13
Speaker 2
I squeeze this club a little bit harder. Yeah.

00:55:51:13 - 00:56:03:16
Speaker 1
So in the program you stand there and you raise your hand and go today, man, I gotta figure it out, man. I gotta get out of my bed. And I pray on my knees in the morning like you've been telling me to do. And. Oh, wow. Everything's great. I'm never going to have a problem. The rest.

00:56:03:22 - 00:56:04:22
Speaker 2
My. Yeah.

00:56:04:24 - 00:56:08:21
Speaker 1
You know. And three days later, in a fetal position in your bathroom. Why do you hate me?

00:56:08:23 - 00:56:43:24
Speaker 2
Dude, I'll tell you what I. When I'd been sober about six months and I was in Mexico, and my cousin, who was like, my brother, committed suicide while I was out of the country. And, I mean, I love this kid. We were so close, and I was kind of coming unglued like I was. You couldn't console me. I get to the airport, I walked directly into the bar, and I call my buddy, who's I've been friends with since college, and he's in the program, and he knew my cousin and I go, dude, I got this is it, I'm getting a beer.

00:56:43:24 - 00:57:05:14
Speaker 2
I don't, you know? And he goes, okay, let me tell you something. If you do, it's because you have been waiting for something to happen where you could drink or everybody'd go, well, of course he did. I mean, why wouldn't who wouldn't? He goes, so don't blame it on him. Don't blame it on the situation. This is your fault if you do, this is on you.

00:57:05:16 - 00:57:19:10
Speaker 2
And I didn't, but I never thought about it like that. Right? Like, even at that point, I couldn't take responsibility for. Oh well. And I was, I was waiting for something to happen where everybody go, well, you know, he did great for six months, but I mean, who wouldn't?

00:57:19:10 - 00:57:19:29
Speaker 1
Right.

00:57:20:02 - 00:57:35:20
Speaker 2
How could you how could you not drink at a time like doing. Well, it's it's a mind that that's why I try to stay out of my own head and concentrate on God as much as I can. I'm not going to sit here and be like all day. I'm floating through the clouds or not.

00:57:35:23 - 00:57:41:24
Speaker 1
Oh my gosh, what about me and Carolyn? Yeah, Carolyn floated in. Yeah, I think this morning.

00:57:41:25 - 00:57:44:04
Speaker 3
We actually have a monastery in the back.

00:57:44:08 - 00:57:51:09
Speaker 2
I don't believe I saw it. It had golf balls and a little green. You the golf ball. Is that the kneeler? Is that were you the kneeler?

00:57:51:09 - 00:58:01:00
Speaker 1
Yeah, where I kneel. Well, gosh, Reno, I tell you what, man, we got to wrap this up. But, man, we're going to do this again. I love to, especially right before your golf tournament that I'm going to be in. Right this.

00:58:01:01 - 00:58:01:16
Speaker 2
Yes, you.

00:58:01:16 - 00:58:02:29
Speaker 1
Are when.

00:58:03:02 - 00:58:04:25
Speaker 2
It's Columbus Day every year. October.

00:58:04:29 - 00:58:06:02
Speaker 1
Oh of. Well gosh.

00:58:06:02 - 00:58:09:08
Speaker 3
Oh my gosh. Did you just say Columbus Day in 2025.

00:58:09:08 - 00:58:09:28
Speaker 1
Oh my gosh.

00:58:09:28 - 00:58:16:06
Speaker 2
It's Columbus Ohio. It's not not that holiday where you get half off your mattress cluster.

00:58:16:08 - 00:58:18:13
Speaker 1
That just told everybody how old you are. I mean are you.

00:58:18:13 - 00:58:19:13
Speaker 2
Columbus that you know.

00:58:19:17 - 00:58:21:28
Speaker 1
Why we have Carolyn here to remind us there's a lot.

00:58:21:28 - 00:58:33:22
Speaker 2
Of good stuff that Christopher Columbus did, too. It wasn't all just hacking up Indians. There were there were missionaries that came over. There were a lot of things that happened after work. Well, you know what? Sometimes the missionaries get a little out of line.

00:58:33:26 - 00:58:39:01
Speaker 1
Talk to, Native Americans how to wash blankets, you know, see, see, there's always some good stuff.

00:58:39:01 - 00:58:40:04
Speaker 2
There's so many things I wanted.

00:58:40:04 - 00:58:57:19
Speaker 1
I read I read a book on Christopher Columbus, and it was an interesting, story. He would pray fervently in the middle of storms, in the middle of the ocean, you know, for God to get him out of it. And then he'd get back to Spain or wherever, and then he'd completely forget. So it was like that.

00:58:57:19 - 00:58:58:23
Speaker 3
Was his heartbeat while I was.

00:58:58:23 - 00:59:02:08
Speaker 1
There. That was it. That was so funny. But it was like, yeah, don't we all do that.

00:59:02:10 - 00:59:03:16
Speaker 2
Foxhole Christian, you.

00:59:03:16 - 00:59:16:01
Speaker 1
Know? Yeah, yeah. And my son was in Iraq. The first letter we got back from him was he wanted a Bible because he goes, it's hard. And, you know, so I said, at least we know where he turns when life gets hard. That's. Yeah, we did something right, you know, and a lot.

00:59:16:01 - 00:59:29:07
Speaker 2
Of parents sent their kids, bottles, a scope that had vodka with green food coloring in it. When I did USO tours, I used to get hammered with those guys. You always look for the foreign troops and the special ops guys because they can drink all they want.

00:59:29:07 - 00:59:30:29
Speaker 1
Because over there you weren't allowed to.

00:59:31:01 - 00:59:31:18
Speaker 2
They were so.

00:59:31:18 - 00:59:36:11
Speaker 3
Excited. I was like, what did they do with Jesus and Scope and vodka.

00:59:36:13 - 00:59:47:00
Speaker 2
Like these guys would have? They they'd get a bottle of scope, like, you get a care package and there'd be a bottle of scope, but it was vodka and they'd squirt green food coloring, you know? Yeah. So the guys could have something to drink.

00:59:47:01 - 00:59:54:02
Speaker 1
By the way, this is how people with A.D.D. wrap up a party. It's like 8 or 10 more minutes. Yeah.

00:59:54:05 - 00:59:57:28
Speaker 2
Have you ever seen the monkeys at the zoo?

00:59:58:01 - 00:59:59:13
Speaker 1
God bless you. You know, day two.

00:59:59:13 - 01:00:01:21
Speaker 2
Man, I love you guys. Thank you for having me on.

01:00:01:21 - 01:00:02:08
Speaker 1
Coming on.