Heavenly Human

Faith in the Dark: Embracing What Terrifies You

Trusted Voices Season 2 Episode 6

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Have you ever felt like an oddball, an outlier whose thoughts and behaviors set you apart from the mainstream? This deeply personal exploration speaks directly to those who sense an inexplicable void within that conventional success simply cannot fill.

We delve into the fascinating paradox facing high-achievers: the confidence that allows us to excel can simultaneously prevent us from experiencing the genuine fear necessary for spiritual transformation. Just as Batman couldn't escape his prison while clinging to a safety rope, we sometimes need to abandon our self-reliance to access deeper spiritual strength. The most profound growth often waits on the other side of what terrifies us most.

The concept of the "enigmatic choice" forms the heart of this conversation. If you seek extraordinary outcomes in your life, you must be willing to make choices that defy conventional logic. For some, this might mean walking away from material success, changing relationships, or leaving comfortable situations that no longer serve your spiritual growth. What's particularly beautiful about this journey is how the seeds of kindness planted throughout your life become the very support system you need when stepping into the unknown.

This episode offers both challenge and comfort. For those carrying regrets about past choices, there's a powerful reminder that God's forgiveness creates opportunity for transformation at any moment. The objective isn't punishment but behavioral change. And for fellow oddballs seeking to fill that elusive hole within, consider what truly terrifies you – not as something to avoid, but as the very doorway to the fulfillment you seek. Will you choose to take the leap of faith, or eventually get pushed into it? The choice, ultimately, is yours.

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Speaker 1:

these intersections that create this drama, right, that seems so overly unbearable to carry. When those things happen, the only thing you can do eventually is like ask God for help. Is that you're crossing, crossing the threshold moments? Yeah, it's where you're leaving the familiar yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And you can either choose it or you're going to get shoved. But, like Mark, mark those words, you can either choose it or you're going to get shoved.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, in general, the listeners of this segment that call themselves an oddball or they align with oddball type behavior, meaning there's something in them that makes them feel like an outlier or an outsider, or the way that they think or move or shake just feels like an anomaly in the story. Like that is who I am talking to in this segment, and my goal is to offer a little bit of guidance, yes, and comfort that you're not alone. I believe, just given my lived experience, that eventually we have to do something that terrifies us, like absolutely terrifies us. The challenge is, not many things create fear in our lives. We have so much confidence in ourselves, in our ability to solve problems, that fear doesn't creep in too often, and so that creates a responsibility for us to be even more cognizant and aware of our behavior, because our relationship with fear looks a little bit different.

Speaker 1:

Here's something that's coming to mind right now. I'm thinking of the dark night. I'm actually thinking of the one where Batman is fighting Bane and Bane like breaks his back or whatever and he's like stuck in that hole Right and he's trying to climb out and he has that rope tied around him, that inner spirit, that thing that harnesses, like the deepest part of God's will that is within you, like he can't access that part of him because he doesn't fear. And so the wise gentleman in that hole with them is just like, oh yeah, well, you got this rope right. Like go be brave, go do it without the rope. And then he goes and he's courageous and he takes the leap without the rope. He has faith in something else outside of him, something deeper.

Speaker 1:

I feel we are reaching for an adventure that creates a level of discomfort that pushes us beyond our limits. I don't know what it is for you, but if you're an oddball, I do recognize the feeling, this inadequate, like hole within you that you're trying to fulfill. Like. I know what that feels like because I have felt it and I always felt I needed to build a huge company and sell it for billions of dollars and like do all these amazing things to like, fill that hole? And that was simply because building a company and selling it as a unicorn was something that was perceived as being almost impossible, and so, simply because it had that impossible asterisk on it, I was like well, this must be a path that can fill this hole, because most people don't believe that they can reach it.

Speaker 1:

However, I discovered that that wasn't the thing that actually scared me. I was not terrified of risking money over and over and over to build a company that could sell for a billion plus dollars. I wasn't fearful of that. What I was fearful of is not having control and not knowing the outcome. So, since we are this far in the podcast, let me just say this statement in case you missed it About three years ago, I believe that God tapped me on the shoulder and said follow me, and there were no more words than that.

Speaker 1:

It was like stepping into the darkness and not knowing where we're going, what we're doing and how long I will be walking on this path and how long I will be walking on this path, and over time, I was called to shed all my material possessions, to shed my relationship with the natural order of these standards that humans set up. No-transcript Right. I had to risk being that dad, and that was extremely challenging for me. All I could offer her was my time, was my presence, was to show up every single day. However, aside from some ice cream, I couldn't afford anything. And so imagine being capable of doing all the things, having zero doubt in your ability to earn money, to build successful business, to achieve anything that was out in the world like, having the confidence to be able to do that, and having to choose to not pursue those things, to simply build an intimate relationship with Christ every single day. That was terrifying, because I had no idea how long and or why I was even doing it.

Speaker 1:

So for you, as an oddball, I challenge you to consider If you are called to do your version of that Meaning, whatever the thing is that terrifies you enough that forces you to reach out and build a relationship with Jesus Christ. I have no idea what it is for you. I'm not saying go release all your material possessions. That may not be your calling, and I imagine it's likely not your calling. My risk tolerance was simply so high that that was the only thing that actually created terror in me.

Speaker 1:

For you, it might be the relationship that you're in, that you've been in for 15 years, that you know is unfulfilling and you know you probably should have left 10 years ago and you're still there or the job, or the city that you live in. Whatever it is, it is something that is so far reaching and it doesn't quite make sense. Yet you know it's probably the thing that you're called to do, and the reason why you are called to do it is because it doesn't make sense. It's illogical. One of the things that I say to humans who want to experience the outlier or the enigmatic outcome in a story is where you have to make the enigmatic choice. If you believe that you can go make a bunch of choices that make sense and think that the outcome is going to be the anomaly, that doesn't make sense, those two things don't equal. Doing the thing that doesn't make sense births the outcome that lives outside of the things that make sense. Yes, and here's one thing to add to that when you do, as the oddball, choose to take this leap, you are going to experience the seeds that you planted along the way Through others in that journey. Let me color the lines a little bit.

Speaker 1:

I chose my entire life to operate as the good guy in the story, meaning like I tried to always be kind or caring or to put others first when they were like wanting to pursue their dreams. Like I showed up for other people. Like I was actually really interested in other people winning because I knew I was going to inevitably win. So I would prioritize helping others believe in themselves. I'm just going to call that good guy characteristics Not perfect, but God knows my mind and God knows my heart. So God knows I was trying to be the good guy. I could have chose different behaviors. I could have chose to be deceptive and mean and dominant and backstabbing and doing all these like Icky type of things that the villain in the story would do.

Speaker 1:

Like some people make that choice and what I'm saying is when you take the leap of faith, you essentially walk backwards and experience all to discover that next step. But over time I continuously experience evidence that I was experiencing the things that I had planted people along the way that I treated well. I then cross paths with them and they treated me well. Well, I then crossed paths with them and they treated me well. Humans that I poured into, that I cared for. They were there to hold me up, to make sure that I didn't hit the ground. You reap what you sow, is so true. So right now, wherever you're at, choose to be a better character, choose to be a more loving character, choose to be a more compassionate and kind character, because eventually, when you choose to take that leap of faith and you walk backwards in the dark, you are going to want to know that along the way, you are going to meet the loving seeds that you planted. And the reason why I'm saying this this way is because there's somebody listening to this right now and they're like I did a lot of things that I shouldn't have, and because I did those things, I am terrified to take that leap of faith if you're saying that I have to walk backwards and experience them.

Speaker 1:

And my challenge to you is To ask God for forgiveness right now, and again tomorrow, and again the day after that and the day after that and the day after that, because the objective is not to punish you. The objective is for you to change your behavior. Let me say that again Ignorance is bliss. So those choices that you made. You may not have made them out of a malice heart. You just made them that way. It's just a choice that you made, because you didn't do it out of malice.

Speaker 1:

Asking for forgiveness is an option Right and the reason why it's an option is because the objective isn't for you to experience heartache and punishment. The objective is for you to change your behavior. So, moving forward, you are also the good guy or the good gal in the story and you show up with unconditional love, with fidelity, Because you've experienced the grace and mercy of God. So I say these words For the oddball who is seeking to fill that hole, to experience that thing that they just know has been elusive, to tell you that it is the Jesus piece. I found it following the Holy Spirit. You are going to find it in your way, if you choose to pursue it, and you making that conscious choice with your heart and with your mind is the only thing that you need to do to start, because God knows where you're leaning and, as we stated in the last podcast, you can either choose it or you can get pushed into it. The choice is yours.