Heavenly Human

Finding Yourself After Losing Everything

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For seventeen years, I'd been trapped in what I now call the "performance prison" – building my entire identity around being Laura King, the high achiever who got results no matter what. When my external validation disappeared, I was forced to face the question: who am I underneath it all?

Through therapy, neurofeedback, journaling, and deep spiritual connection, I discovered that true transformation begins with different questions. Instead of "How can I achieve more?" I asked "Who am I when I'm not achieving?" Instead of obsessing over what to do, I asked what my soul needed. The profound realization emerged: I am not what I do. I am not my achievements or rankings. My worth was established long before I achieved anything.

Now I measure success by presence rather than performance, by authenticity rather than accolades. The miraculous thing? When I aligned with my true self, my external success naturally increased. Operating from flow instead of force created magic – the right people and opportunities appeared without struggle. Just yesterday, enjoying ice cream with my children, I experienced the pure joy of being fully present, knowing my healing work means they won't need external validation for their worthiness.

Checkout Laura King as a Peak Performance Coach + Speaker on her website:

https://www.lauraeking.com/


Subscribe to Laura's Peak of the Week:

https://www.lauraeking.com/peak-of-the-week


Checkout Mondo Davison as a Believer Speaker on his website:

https://www.aramondo.com/

Speaker 1:

Hey, it's Laura. Welcome to this week's Peak of the Week. As a reminder, this is where I draw from. The Peak of the Week comes from my newsletter that comes out every Friday. I believe so much in speaking these words out loud because the words itself hold such gravity and such energy, and so I also tend to riff off them as well. If you want to get my peak of the weeks, just head to lauraekingcom I believe there's a pop-up. Otherwise, just go scroll to the bottom and there's peak of the week. Thanks for being here Today.

Speaker 1:

I am talking about how losing my identity led me to finding myself. There are moments in life that divide your story into before and after. May 2023 was mine. I just landed in Miami with my husband for what should have been a celebration of another successful year, a celebration of marriage, a celebration of us, a celebration of our life. The email notification chimed on my phone. You know those moments in life where you're like I should have just deleted all of my email. I should have done that because I was addicted to checking my phone and the quarterly rankings were in the year before I had generated nearly $900,000 in revenue for the firm. I was a star performer, someone that people looked up to the definition of professional success. But here I was clocking in at 35K. Last Last Laura King, last I sobbed and I sobbed and I sobbed. But what I didn't know in that moment of complete devastation was that God was about to give me the greatest gift of my life the death of my false identity and birth of my true self, the self that had always been there but had just been gunked up for too many years.

Speaker 1:

For 17 years, I'd built my entire sense of worth around being Laura King, the executive recruiter. I was the high achiever, the overachiever, the one who got results, no matter what, and some of you know I mean. At times it almost cost me relationships, relationships that were so important to me. But if you're a high performer reading this or listening to this, you know exactly what I mean. We build these identities around our roles, our achievements, these external markers of success. We become human doings instead of human beings. I had been trapped in what I now call the performance prison, where your worth is only as good as your last achievement, your value only as stable as your most recent success. The problem with building your identity on these external accomplishments is that when those accomplishments or jobs or whatever disappear because they always do you're left wondering who you are underneath it all. That ranking email didn't just hurt my ego. It shattered my entire sense of self. If I wasn't the best, who was I?

Speaker 1:

The months that followed were the most challenging and, now I see, transformative of my life. I had to face the reality that I had been so focused on doing that I had forgotten how to simply be me. Through therapy, neurofeedback, journaling, countless conversations with God, a lot of conversations with God, I began to understand that this breakdown wasn't a punishment. This was my invitation, an invitation to discover who I was. Beneath the titles, beneath the achievements, beneath the external validation, I realized I've been carrying generations, generations of achievement addiction. My need to perform didn't even originate with me. It had been passed down through family lines, each generation doing their best but unconsciously passing along the belief that worth must be earned.

Speaker 1:

The real transformation began when I started asking different questions. Instead of how can I achieve more, I asked who am I when I'm not achieving? Instead of what do I need to do, I asked what does my soul need? Instead of how can I be successful, I asked how can I be present. These questions led me to a profound realization. Excuse me, questions led me to a profound realization. I am not what I do, I am not my achievements, I am not my number. I am love, I am joy. I am me, I am the story that's unfolding. I am whatever I choose to be.

Speaker 1:

So today I measure success very differently. Instead of looking at external metrics, I ask myself how much time did I spend fully present today? Did I make decisions from love or from fear? Was I authentic in my interactions with people? Did I listen to my inner wisdom? The most amazing thing happened when I shifted these metrics. My external success actually increased, not because I was chasing it, but because I was aligned aligned with my true self. And when you operate from presence instead of performance, from flow instead of force, magic happens. The right people appear, the right opportunities appear, people find you. Everything becomes easier because you're swimming downstream instead of fighting the current.

Speaker 1:

So if you're someone who has built your identity around achievements, I want you to know you are not your job title, you are not your revenue number, you are not your last performance review, you are not even your greatest success. You are so much more. Your worth was established long before you achieved anything, and it will remain long after your achievements are forgotten. The most courageous thing you can do is get quiet, quiet, quiet stillness, to remember who you are behind all the doing, and maybe you're in your own version of that Miami moment that I had where I basically just fell to my knees. Maybe your breakdown is calling you toward your breakthrough. If so, I want you to know. This is not the end. This is the beginning of the most important chapter you'll ever write, the chapter where you discover that you are not what you do. You are who you are, and who you are is more than enough. What false identity are you ready to release? What would it feel like to define yourself by your being instead of your doing? The journey inward is the most important journey you'll ever take, and I sign off always with deep belief in your magnificence, and I sign off always with deep belief in your magnificence.

Speaker 1:

I just want to riff on this for a little bit, because yesterday was my kids' last day of school and we decided to go to Bridgman's for ice cream in Woodbury and we'd done this before, and I remember these past versions of myself going for ice cream and not being fully present. I was worrying about something for work. I was worrying about my to-do list. I was worrying I wasn't there. I mean, I was there but I wasn't fully there. And we had such a fun time last night Like I was able to be with these boys and I was able to even to think through. Like they don't have to go through what I went through. They're not going to need to have external validation for their worthiness and I just felt so proud of all this healing work that I've done because I'm seeing a direct benefit in the peace and the presence in my family unit.

Speaker 1:

And then it continued. We got home and we played four square and we were just laughing and just. It was such a beautiful night and those are the moments I live for now of pure presence, being with the people I love and knowing that it's all here for you. Like this world has so much to offer us, but we get lost in the ruminations of our mind and I, just I would offer you to come back to the present moment to take three deep, big breaths in.

Speaker 1:

I talked to a lot of people. I know a lot of people who are on this journey. I want you to know you are not alone. Send us a text. We love getting your text messages and hearing what's resonating, just what words hit, what's your story Like? We all have these gifts to offer each other other, and what God told me is Laura, you're going to share. You're going to share because you're going through it right now and you're going to help people by just really being authentic, just being me, being open, being real. So that's what I'm doing and I hope that you know that you have everything within you. Everything it's about remembering the truth of who you are, which is magnificent, magnificent. You you just like me, probably got some layers right, some things to shed, some identities to let go of. I'm cheering you on and I believe that today you can drop an old identity that's not serving you.