Bon Vivant Chic - Life Well Lived

Life's Edit: A Conversation with Leona Kinnear

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Ernestine:

welcome to Bonvant Chic Life. Well lived the podcast. For anyone who wants to cut through today's noise and just listen for a few minutes to meaningful conversations on the human experience and the power of connectedness. I'm your host, Ernestine Morgan, an advocate for kindness with the passion for showcasing human interest stories that matter. Today, I'm happy to be sitting with Leona Kinnear I met Leona when I first moved to Florida over 30 years ago through the Junior League of Clearwater, Dunedin Today she owns a beautiful boutique in Bellleair Bluffs called The Edit She's been a community volunteer for many years and continues to help wherever and whenever she can. So let's get started. Leona, thanks so much for joining me today.

Leona:

Thank you

Ernestine:

can you please share a little bit about where you grew up and what life was like?

Leona:

Oh, that's a loaded question. I have lived in several different places because, my father was in the military, I was born in Biloxi, Mississippi. My parents traveled from there to San Francisco, California, and then I moved to,, New Jersey. And then from there, ended up. Back in Hawaii where my mother was born. This was all before the age of three.

Ernestine:

Oh my goodness.

Leona:

Yes. So I lived in Hawaii, until I was, just, before nine years old. We moved back to where my father grew up, which is outside of Washington, DC we moved to Bethesda, Maryland and lived there most of my childhood. Up through college. I lived in Maryland met my husband when I was in college at Towson University then moved to Florida and I've been here since I was 23. I'm now 57 going on 58.

Ernestine:

How did you end up here?

Leona:

Met my husband in college. I met him my sophomore year after I graduated, we moved to, Ridgewood, New Jersey, where he worked for Citigroup. He was in the mortgage business, he got an opportunity to move to Tampa, Florida, which is where his sister had been living. so we moved here and, that was the rest of our life until now.

Ernestine:

What do you love about living in the Clearwater Tampa Bay area?

Leona:

To be honest, it took me a while to be adjusted to Florida living, 35 years ago, Florida or the Tampa area was definitely a different environment. It was different from what I was used to in regards to a metropolitan area living outside of Washington dc. So it took me a while. Plus I was away from my friends that I grew up with. That was a little bit of a heartache. And my husband traveled a lot in the beginning, with his job but once I. Grew to love the beauty and really what was the change was having my children and getting more involved in the community and specifically the Clearwater Belleair community and raising my kids. And it's a beautiful area. There's nothing not to like about the environment here. And I really do love this community. Sometimes it can be too close, but it's a very close, tight-knit community. I feel like it's almost just where I've now grown up in regards to my adult life.

Ernestine:

Yeah. Let's go back to when you were a child you traveled a lot as a kid, what are some of your fondest memories?

Leona:

Some of my fondest memories when I was young, would probably be just my family. My mom was born and raised in Hawaii, and so her entire family lived in Hawaii on the island of Oahu. She comes from a very large family of seven children. Her father, my grandfather was born in Maui, and he comes from a family of 13. You can imagine we have a very extensive family there. I would say my fondest memories were the family gatherings. I was just telling a friend the other day because I made these Korean short ribs, something we always had growing up and we would have these gatherings at the beaches and cook'em on hibachi, and all my cousins, my grandparents had 13 grandchildren, so you can imagine it was built in playgroup. So that's for sure one of my best memories. In my younger years and growing up in the DC area, my fondest memories are always with my friends. My parents got divorced when we lived in Maryland and had a struggling relationship, I hate to say that's not necessarily my fondest memories. That's why I leaned so much on my friends, because I was an only child I still talk to my elementary, junior high school, college friends today. Those are my fondest memories with them.

Ernestine:

Yeah, that's great. I'm an only child too. I could totally relate how your friends really become family and so close. I even today still stay connected with friends from. Junior high and high school.

Leona:

It's like their family. Yeah. Absolutely. You lean on them as opposed to maybe your siblings.

Ernestine:

Who had the biggest influence on you when you were young?

Leona:

Back when I was younger, I probably wouldn't admit this, but I would definitely say my mom, she is a very strong woman. When I was young. I loved my mom so much. She had me when she was 21. She was very active because she was a young mom. She used to take me to the beach and we'd go body surfing, she was always active and keeping me involved with things just, very affectionate, physically, emotionally, always gave me big hugs. I would say she made me strong, I admire her because she made me do things on my own and encouraged me that I could do it and guided me in so many great ways. I would say my husband is one of my role models after being married 35 years, we have had many serious ups and downs. And that's just natural in life. But him and his family such a big support of me, because my mom has never lived on the same continent as me since I was 17 years old. His family basically I would say, my role models. I was thinking back in my head role model, when you say influence, it's definitely my husband and his family. We used to call them their leave it to Beaver family and my family was the complete opposite. Just the love connectedness and closeness they had was very welcoming my husband has always been a huge supporter of me and it's encouraged me to do whatever I want, with no judgment. So I would say he's, thankfully he's my husband and he's with me all the time.

Ernestine:

What was your very first job and how did it shape you?

Leona:

My first job outta college was actually with a marketing company. I had a degree in communication and I specifically wanted to get into advertising. Back then, it was very hard to go right into an advertising environment. I got this job through the newspaper it was basically a marketing company or they claimed to be a marketing company, but BA got addresses. And used those to send people different things. And when you just come outta college to have responsibilities and have a major boss for a major company, it's a big learning experience. Whether, it shaped who I am today, I feel like every single job has shaped me. That's what life is about, all your experiences. I remember the owner of the company, took a liking to me and would always include me in meetings. And took the time to teach me, things without. Having experience. I'm very grateful for that.

Ernestine:

Have there been any pivotal moments in, your life or decisions you've made that really have changed the course of your life?

Leona:

There's a couple, but one that specifically has always stuck with me that I share as a pivotal moment with friends and family members, I adopted both my children. When we were going to adopt my daughter, the agency we were working with said there was a little boy. We could adopt as well. My husband and I made the decision to adopt two children and right. With most people who go through adoption, it's a long process. It took months and months before we actually were going to go to the country, Kazakhstan, to adopt them. The day before we were leaving, we were told that we could not adopt two nons sibling children at the same time because they were not. Related. They were not brother and sister from the same family, but the agency assured us that, we'll figure it out. It's gonna be okay. And we got to the country and ultimately they decided that we couldn't adopt both of them. That we had to make a decision to choose which child we wanted to take home. Our original plan was to adopt an infant. My daughter was eight months old, the boy was two years old, so we did decide to adopt my daughter, but this was devastating. After everything I had been through infertility and the whole process, I just couldn't believe it. I was like, how does something like this happen? We did try really hard to adopt both children, but ultimately we could not. I remember being on my bed crying, thinking, I'm gonna die from a heartache, because that's how hurt I was. And this gentleman came to me while I was laying and crying, and he's just. So many people, they'll say, i'm so sorry. This is awful. And he just looked at me and he said, you are the strongest woman I know. And I was like, wow, it struck me so much that you're right. I can do this. Get through the rest of the adoption process while in country we get home. And obviously I'm still sad'cause I had to come home. I had a bedroom, I had him enrolled in school, so I had to come home and see his room. And that was a heartache in and of itself. But I will never forget, and this is the pivotal moment that I'm getting to, we were taking my daughter, Natalie, to the doctors and she's in her car seat and I look back at her in her car seat and she's smiling I turned to look at my husband and I said, I can't believe how happy I am. Because when you're going through such a heartache, you don't think you can climb that mountain or get over it. And I feel like that taught me as hard as it can be. It's amazing with the human spirit or what you can do or what you survive some people don't, but I also feel like I have that gift where I can look over to the other side. So when things get rough, and I've had other issues in my life since then that have been challenges. I just know that there's something on the other side. You just have to get through it.

Ernestine:

It's like your superpower

Leona:

I do honestly have that mentality. If you keep pushing forward and you do the right thing, and I always say this, if you can lay your head down at night and know you've done the right thing and you've tried, you can get there. Might not be ideal at the end, but you can get there. Sitting in the car and looking back at my daughter and thinking how happy I was, is a feeling and a memory I'll never forget.

Ernestine:

That's beautiful. Thanks for sharing that. What made you and Steve decide to adopt? You said you had some infertility issues, but did you go through that for a long time and then decided we're gonna adopt?

Leona:

We started trying to have children later, I guess you would consider later. I think I was 30 ish and we, didn't have success trying to have children naturally. We went through the whole infertility process, all of that from insemination to, in vitro. I tried a couple times with in vitro and I didn't have any success with that. And that's an emotional rollercoaster for anybody who has been through that. Of course at the time, all my friends are having babies. We made a mutual decision to go through the adoption process and. I feel like we're very lucky'cause we were both on board with that because some couples don't agree on that. And we originally were gonna, adopt domestically. We went to an a local adoption agency and because of my background, I'm. German, I'm a lot of different things, but Asian and German basically. So when we are talking to the agency, we're saying, so what is the likelihood that we can, find a child that has Asian background with Caucasian background? And they're like, well, maybe eventually, but it might take you a while. They said there's this country, Kazakhstan. Which at the time was part of the Soviet Republic, it borders Russia and China, and they have a lot of Eurasian looking children there. We went through that process and found another agency that, specialized in children from Kazakhstan, we just started the process and I think it took exactly one year. From the beginning of filling out the paperwork to going into country and adopting our children.

Ernestine:

I remember running into you one time in parking lot somewhere and you were in between going back and forth. You had to live there For a certain amount of time

Leona:

Yes. Kazakhstan, they have a lot of. Rules in regards to adoption. Basically you go in country and you have to have visitation with the children for two weeks. Then it takes another week or two. There's a grace period of 10 days, and then it takes another week to complete all the paperwork and finalize the adoption process. The first time, my daughter we stayed in country for a month. Luckily we only had a dog at home at the time, so it was hard to leave him'cause he was our child at the time. We stayed in country for a month for her. After my experience with not being able to adopt two children, I swore off the country and said, I'm never adopting from that country again. Lo and behold, a year later we decide to adopt another child, I would call that a blessing because I wouldn't have my Ryan, the world works in mysterious ways because if I brought home two children, it would've been life changing, we went through the same process, but a different agency. When we went back the second time for Ryan, my husband and I. Decided to come home in between that grace period because we had our daughter at home and my husband was actually gonna go back with his father to go get Ryan for the remaining part of finishing out the paperwork and finalizing the adoption. So that's probably where I ran into. I was in between getting him. We had decided to come home. But he went back and he ended up going by himself. Unfortunately, his father went through some heart surgery. He ended up having heart issues in that time period and was a disappointment because my husband was very close to his dad and was really looking forward to that travel experience all the way to Kazakhstan but he ended up going and getting him himself, which is a whole other in his story, not of itself,

Ernestine:

That's powerful What are some lessons you've learned that you wish you knew earlier?

Leona:

One of the things is to not take so many things personally, where I am today versus where I was when obviously you're younger, as everybody feels, they're completely different. I feel like it's just don't take things too personally because it can drive you, you get in your head and think about things all the time. And it goes back to what I said before. At the end of the day, if you know you've done the right thing and you've tried your best. You feel inside comfortable that you've done what you could do. I don't like to leave anything out on the table. I wanna make sure I've done everything right and been a good person I guess what I'm trying to say is when you take things personally and you're always wrapped up in that at some time, you have to just let it go. It gives you that permission to say, you know what, it's okay. Don't take it personally. Use your words Impeccably. Don't assume. Do your best. It pretty much wraps everything up. And the assumption thing is huge too. I always like, when I start to think about things, in regards to, judgment. Mm-hmm. Because, it's very natural to judge people. I always go back to that, don't assume.

Ernestine:

Right.

Leona:

There might be another story behind something. Don't assume.

Ernestine:

That's one of the reasons why I'm only doing audio for this podcast is because I feel like when you see someone visually You have this preconceived idea about that person. And just hearing their voice is so different than actually watching someone. So it's been an interesting, project for me. I'm sure.

Leona:

Like I said, it's a natural thing to do. How you've grown up and how thoughts have been put in your head. My husband and I come from completely different families and we have had different thoughts on many things based on how we were raised and how we judge things. That's why, don't assume.

Ernestine:

What lessons about family and relationships would you pass along to younger generations?

Leona:

Nothing's perfect. Definitely nothing's perfect.

Ernestine:

What do you share with your kids? The younger generation,

Leona:

I keep going back to this, but it's that do your best. Just try, I heard somebody say, recently do the easy things. Shake people's hand, look somebody in the eye, be kind. It's so easy to be kind. It's not hard. Some things just have to be life experiences and happen naturally. When I say do the easy things, I tell my kids, that, my job as your parent is to try to have you have the most successful life. It doesn't mean monetarily. It, it means. Being emotionally stable, happy, have a roof over your head. To make it as easy as possible to have those attributes earlier in life than later in life. I said at the end of the day, if you decide to learn later, there's nothing I can do about that. I can guide you, I can say, save money, It's very rare that a child wants to save money at 18, but. If you do these few things earlier in life, it's gonna be easier for you later. To try, just try, a lot of people say, I can't do that. Well just try. You never know.

Ernestine:

What do you think is a secret to a fulfilling and happy life?

Leona:

To be authentic, to be your true self. It takes a lot to get there. I just did a post on my Instagram for this boutique, and I do quotes every once in a while. I really take some of these simple ones. To heart, I'll share an Ernestine story. One of the ones you posted was the Horkeldorkal Do you know what Horkildorkaling is? For people who don't know, it's about taking more time than necessary in the morning to start your day. My husband and I have really taken to heart recently. Yes, to be authentic, just. To be who you really are and really feel, and that doesn't mean sometimes you have to be, I hate to use the word fake, but sometimes, if you're really tired, sometimes you have to show your energy despite the fact that you're really tired. But just to be truthful you can lay your head down at night and know you were truthful, you were good. And it's just such an inner peace to have that, cause you, people know when they're tormenting about something, whether they forgot to call somebody or, didn't follow through on something that turns in your head a lot. If you know you've done your best. And you can accept that I think that there's a lot of peace that comes with that.

Ernestine:

You mentioned the boutique.

Leona:

Mm-hmm.

Ernestine:

How did you come up with the name?

Leona:

I had seen a boutique in New York many years ago, and it was called Edit. And it always stuck with me. I just thought that's such a great. Name because when you think about style or you think about, pretty much, and it's one of sort of my tagline in the boutique, is that when you go through life and you think about either your style, whether it's the clothes you put on your body, or how you run your life nutritionally, goals in life, it's always edit. You're always adjusting, I should say. I got the name from that boutique, but it just stuck with me and that's how I feel. I feel like we're always editing and adjusting our style. I will say to people who come into the boutique, I'm still editing, I'm still adjusting as different people come into the store and learning, i've changed it up a little bit, from the boutique I previously owned. I'm just adjusting it to what I feel our customers need, but also staying true to myself and my style and what I find valuable.

Ernestine:

Before this, you had another boutique mm-hmm. With a friend, yes.

Leona:

I had, for the love of boutique for 14 years.

Ernestine:

14 years, yes.

Leona:

We were very blessed to stay in the community. We weathered a lot of storms between COVID and recently the hurricane that just happened. Having to close the boutique. But yeah, it 14 years I learned a lot. When that closed I wanted to figure out what I wanted to do next, my husband said,, why don't you just take a break, retire? And I thought maybe, and as everybody knows in our area, we just had, Hurricane Helene and Milton, my home personally, got flooded. So I was very busy with that. Plus having a boutique and running that. I thought, yeah, that would be nice, maybe to do nothing for a little bit, but I'm definitely not the kind of person to do nothing. I didn't work for three years of my life and I was pretty miserable. I had to find something to do. So I've evolved into different jobs and ultimately had for the love of, I decided that, I have so much experience and knowledge that. I'm gonna continue on this path for now.

Ernestine:

So we shall see. That's wonderful. What keeps you inspired and motivated today?

Leona:

To be honest, I just don't like to stop. I'm motivated for challenge it's not like I need success, but I like a project that keeps my mind going and keeps me busy. As my husband likes to say, you never sit down. I can't even sit down to watch a movie or a TV show, honestly. I always have to be doing something. I love. The people who I work with, the team at the edit are amazing. I have amazing support. They keep me motivated. The challenge of something new inspires me. Yeah, I would say that.

Ernestine:

I've been in philanthropy for over 25 years, and

Leona:

I think you're the queen of philanthropy. You've done an amazing, amazing job. I dunno about that. Yes you are, but thank

Ernestine:

And, we do live in an extraordinary community. Mm-hmm. And everyone has a different thought about philanthropy. Philanthropy means something different to everyone. Mm-hmm. So. Tell us, what does philanthropy mean to you?

Leona:

Philanthropy means to provide. Whether it's a, you're physically doing something, monetarily, doing something, emotionally providing something. And it doesn't have to be for an organization. It can be for people, for a friend, just providing something that they might not have or need support with. I feel like this town. Has more philanthropy opportunities in giving opportunities per square mile, which is what, three miles. Circle radius than any other community, I think, in this country. When I talk to my friends up north, they're like, wait, what are you doing again? What's that? So you're going to another event? Or what are you working on? I'm like, yes,

Ernestine:

yes. I've heard that a few times of late, the last couple of months while I've been working on this podcast of it. It's, it's,

Leona:

it is, this community that's a big teaching thing to me is the amount of giving and from the heart outpouring of this community. I'll, give you an example. When, we were going through the hurricane, your head's just spinning'cause you're displaced and you don't know which way is up., It taught me. To really, sympathize for people who've been through hurricanes like the latest, flooding in Texas, you feel bad, you sympathize, but there's nothing like experiencing yourself. You have a. Real idea of the emotions. Mm-hmm. It does, it's a big reality check. Mm-hmm. A group of women in our area, made breakfast, lunch, and dinner for many of their friends' families, and delivered this food to everybody they put it in your refrigerator and you had. Food for the next three days because you're just, you don't, you're not even stopping the fact that this, people just think about that all the time. And it's just, what can I do to help you couldn't get over to the island where I live in Island Estates and my friend rode her bike to my house to help me clean out my house, oh my gosh. And'cause I would take a plate and pick it up and then put it down on another table and then pick up another place. I didn't even know where to start. And she would just, would shove me in a room and say, take everything off this shelf and put it in that bin now. And I'd walk away and she'd shove me back into that room and say, put it in there. So that is philanthropy. Absolutely. It doesn't have to be for a national organization. It's just giving unconditionally, I should say.

Ernestine:

Absolutely. Thank you so much. Leona for sitting down with me and chatting. This has been great.

Leona:

Thank you for the opportunity. I appreciate it. We've known each other for a really long time. It's amazing. You're doing a good thing.

Ernestine:

Thank you.

Leona:

Thank you.

Ernestine:

Thanks for listening to Bon Vivant Chic Life Well Lived. I hope you'll tune in for more meaningful stories on the human experience and share with family and friends. All the episodes are available on Spotify, Buzzsprout, and on my website, bonvivantchic.com Till next time, remember, every day is a gift. Live it kindness matters.