Episode 10 - With Guest Becky Robison // Parent loss, Being an executor, navigating the practical aspects

Becky Robison (she/her) is a writer living in Louisville, Kentucky. A graduate of UNLV’s Creative Writing MFA program, her work has appeared in Salon, Slate, Business Insider, and elsewhere. She’s also the mind behind My Parents Are Dead: What Now?—a project that aims to help people navigate the dizzying labyrinth of post-death bureaucracy based on her own experience. Her book My Parents Are Dead: What Now? A Practical Guide to Your Life After Their Death is forthcoming from Quirk Books in 2026

You can find me online at www.dearpsychopomp.com

or contact@dearpsychopomp.com

I hope your weekend is gentle and full of opportunities ♡

Transcript

Dear Psychopomp (00:29.052)
Please note that I am not a professional psychologist, doctor, or lawyer. The information and discussions shared on this podcast are intended for informational purposes only and are not a substitute for professional advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Some of the topics covered may be emotionally intense or triggering, especially for those who are still moving through grief or similar experiences. Please take care of yourself and if you feel that any content is too overwhelming, it is important to seek support from a loved one or a licensed professional. Your well-being is important and I encourage you to prioritize self-care as you listen.

My guest today is Becky. She is the mastermind behind DeadParentsWhatNow.com and her goal is to demystify the bureaucracy of death and dying with a little bit of humor. Becky, welcome to the show.

Becky Robison (she/her) (01:24.664)
Thank you so much for having me. I'm really excited to be here.

Dear Psychopomp (01:28.206)
I'm so excited to have you. I have been following you on Instagram for a while now and just everything that you share, it's just, I love that you add in the humor with it because you got to laugh to keep from crying sometimes.

Becky Robison (she/her) (01:44.768)
Yes, you absolutely do. And I also think that it can make topics that are not only sad and difficult to discuss, but also topics that are sometimes kind of boring to discuss, a little bit more interesting. Like you get into the nitty gritty of estate law. And again, like you said at the beginning, I am not a professional lawyer. I am just someone who, for research, has audited an estate law class and read an entire textbook, because this is my life now. So.

Yeah, I think in order to get through the legalese and make it something that people can pay attention to, it's helpful to have a little bit of humor in there.

Dear Psychopomp (02:22.466)
It is. I mean, having that, like coming from my, my background, I was, you know, in the first responder world for a long time. And you develop that sense of humor with everything that you're dealing with to be able to kind of help you get through the motions. And I used to be a cemetery director, so I've heard all the best jokes.

You know, when I tell people I'm a death doula, they're like, people are just dying to see you. I'm like, I've never heard that before.

Becky Robison (she/her) (02:52.651)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (02:59.245)
Yeah.

Yeah, yes. I think the gallows humor kind of, I actually gave a presentation at the library once about how humor is really important when you're dealing with grief and when you're dealing with death and loss and all of those subjects. I even think the physical aspects of laughter can really be helpful. I think one reason crying is so helpful is because there's a physical response there, but I think laughing gives us an even, well not even more, but you know, a similar response. You're moving your shoulders.

you're bending over because you're laughing so hard. I don't know, think that laughter can be not a substitute for crying, but it can be a good companion to crying.

Dear Psychopomp (03:41.9)
Absolutely, yeah. And you get that physiological... you get all the brain chemicals and it makes you smile and you're like, alright. I can do this.

Becky Robison (she/her) (03:51.522)
Yeah, the days after, exactly, in the days after my parents' deaths.

laughter and leading up to their deaths. Laughter was very important for me. Just having things that I could rely on, things that were completely unrelated to just make me giggle. Like when my dad was in hospice, I have some amazing friends and they brought over the game Twister and we played Twister. So like my dad is in the hospital dying. I don't want to think about that. I've been thinking about it virtually nonstop and we all just got around and got tangled up playing Twister and fell down and

a great time and it was so funny. And so it's weird that leading up to that moment I have a really fond, funny memory from that time that really helped me get through it.

Dear Psychopomp (04:38.47)
think that's beautiful because, and not knowing your entire story, so let me know if I'm being insensitive at all, but a lot of people listening may have family or friends in hospice, and when you're going through something like that, it is all consuming, and it's okay.

to be sad and happy at the same time, just because your life is about to change and you're feeling that anticipatory grief, it doesn't mean that you are required to put your life on hold, you are required to never smile, and I think a lot of people feel conflicted about having those happy moments during those times.

Becky Robison (she/her) (05:26.805)
Yeah, I think they feel guilty and as someone who was raised Catholic in the Midwest, I know a lot about guilt. But I do think that there's really no reason to feel guilty about that stuff. You're not going to get anything about it. Of course you're going to be sad. It's totally normal to feel grief, but never smiling, never taking time for yourself, putting your life entirely on hold and dedicating yourself solely to mourning or advance mourning isn't going to solve the situation for you. It's not going to

change things and it's not going to make you a better person either like the person who sacrificed it all while their loved one was you know was on the path toward death. I just I and I get that impulse too, you know, I obviously when someone's dying you want to be around them as much as possible, you know, unless you had a strained relationship, but at the same time I think it's important to remember that this is all just a normal part of life even if it's a hard part of life and so the other aspects of life

Dear Psychopomp (06:08.528)
Mm-hmm

Becky Robison (she/her) (06:26.635)
don't necessarily need to go away. And in fact the parts of life that bring you joy, those aspects of life are what's going to get you through this time period.

Dear Psychopomp (06:35.868)
Mm-hmm. You need that balance. And I think especially with caretaker burnout, you know, it's some people... I can understand why people want to put everything on pause and just give absolutely everything they have to that person because they know that, you know, time is precious and time is running out. But at the same time...

if you're not taking care of yourself, it's going to make the grieving process so much more difficult. I think part of the issue with that is the isolation because it's such a personal, vulnerable thing to say, hey, my loved one is passing away and I am at hospice and I'm meeting with doctors and I'm

Becky Robison (she/her) (07:09.132)
Right.

Becky Robison (she/her) (07:29.109)
Woof woof!

Dear Psychopomp (07:33.818)
just busy with estate planning and there's there's so much that can... hi puppy... there's so much that can be be... it can just fully consume you as a way of dissociation.

Becky Robison (she/her) (07:43.489)
Yes, that's Oklahoma.

Becky Robison (she/her) (07:54.144)
Yes, I think it can really put you on a-

It's the classic thing of you can't pour from an empty cup, right? So if you're not taking time to replenish your own cup to sort of live your own life, then you're not going to serve the person who's in hospice as well or the person you're caregiving for. You're not going to serve them as well. You're not going to be as prepared to deal with all of the tasks that you have to deal with after their death, which is one reason why I started doing this is because I just did not understand the enormity of what was going to be asked of me. And I got really mad.

Dear Psychopomp (08:01.253)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (08:27.951)
that no one prepares you for this and that we don't talk about it.

Dear Psychopomp (08:31.802)
Right? This should be a class in school with why wills are important, why you should pre-plan, why it's important to have those difficult conversations so that when the time comes, you know what to do.

Becky Robison (she/her) (08:35.767)
Yes.

Becky Robison (she/her) (08:47.937)
Yeah, talking about death is hard, also talking about money. There's a taboo against that as well. And so it's really important to talk about that stuff. And my parents and I...

Never really did. Like my dad had mentioned, you know, that there was a trust, but like we didn't have a real discussion about it. And I knew I was going to be the executor and I knew that they wanted to be cremated. And that was kind of it. That's all I really knew. I didn't know what being an executor meant or like I knew it had something to do with the law. Like, OK, so there's a will or something and I got to do a thing with it or whatever. And I went to my dad's lawyer immediately after he died.

Dear Psychopomp (09:09.596)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (09:23.845)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (09:29.039)
and said, hey, okay, so I know that this is something I have to do, what do I do? And he, you know, I think part of it was him speaking legalese and part of it was me not knowing exactly what to ask, but it was not a very helpful conversation. And so that's really kind of when I started doing this whole journey on my own and doing more research and putting it online so that other people could figure it out because it's not always clear, like, okay, so there's a will.

Dear Psychopomp (09:43.451)
Nah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (09:57.698)
What do you do with a will? What are you supposed to do with a will? And the answer is bring it to your local probate court, but not a lot of people know that.

Dear Psychopomp (10:00.422)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (10:06.149)
you know, why is it important to have a lawyer? Can you do this without a lawyer? And the answer is usually not, sometimes yes, but typically you do need a lawyer. And then sometimes you have a lawyer and if you have enough money, you can just pay that lawyer to do basically everything and have very little involvement yourself, but not everybody has that kind of money where they can just, you know, drop all their money on a very expensive lawyer and, you know, just look the other way and have the lawyer figure out everything. So it's,

Dear Psychopomp (10:32.988)
Mm-hmm. Well, that's a privilege that not everybody has. And I think...

Becky Robison (she/her) (10:35.979)
Yeah, that's a privilege.

Dear Psychopomp (10:43.436)
I mean, I wish everyone could just have a lawyer be like, here, let me take this for you and do everything the right way and honor their wishes because grief, grief changes you chemically. Whether, whether it's a sudden death or

Becky Robison (she/her) (11:01.58)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (11:05.932)
or you had the anticipatory grief and its old age or sickness, like it's still going to change you as soon as it happens. And so you get the brain fog, you get the fatigue, you get the burnout, and now you have to deal with the law and planning and people are bombarding you with well wishes and questions and...

Becky Robison (she/her) (11:25.387)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (11:35.504)
You look pfft.

Becky Robison (she/her) (11:36.0)
And you're dealing with their grief too, so you are grieving.

you are grieving, you are dealing with other people's grief because you have to tell everyone, and then you are trying to plan a funeral and also you're trying to deal with a bunch of legal and financial decisions that you may or may not even understand. It was pretty galling when I got there and I just couldn't believe that, you know, because I would ask my friends' parents and I would ask my aunts and uncles like, okay, so when this happened with your parents, what did you do? And they either didn't remember because all they could remember was

Dear Psychopomp (11:41.1)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (11:56.763)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (12:10.775)
the grief or they didn't remember the specific details or they had just had a lawyer do most of the work and so it was really frustrating because I just didn't even know where to begin and so I kind of had to figure out things the hard way and I decided other people shouldn't have to figure things out the hard way if I can help it so I figured since I was a writer it's just gonna put what I figured out on the internet and you know go from there and

Dear Psychopomp (12:37.849)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (12:40.835)
loudly that I am not a lawyer or an accountant or anything like that and just say here is advice from one friend in a bad position to another friend in a bad position. Let's figure this out.

Dear Psychopomp (12:43.312)
Dear Psychopomp (12:50.734)
Yes, which is such a beautiful gift for you to give, especially nowadays in the 21st century. It's not the same as it was back in the day. Everything is changing constantly and there's so many different types of interment and everything like that. There's, you know, when I worked in the industry every 10 years,

It was completely different. All the prices, all the terminology, all the suppliers, like everything. And so you have to constantly keep up with it. So I'm just, I'm really grateful for what you do. And I think the fact that you quit your corporate communications job to focus on helping people with that is just so honorable.

Becky Robison (she/her) (13:49.122)
Thank you. It was very scary. Part of it was I had gotten this book deal. I was a writer. I mean, I was in a lucky position. I was a writer before this. I had an agent. But then once I created the website, I started getting emails from editors asking about whether I had a book in mind. So I emailed my agent and I was like, how do you make a book proposal? Because I had been writing fiction before this, so I did not really know how to write a nonfiction book proposal. And she helped me do that.

Dear Psychopomp (13:49.946)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (14:16.508)
Mmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (14:19.075)
I got the book deal and once I was in full swing writing this book and I had started, I had trained as a death doula, I had audited that estate law course, I had, you know, and some of this was for research and some of this was my own curiosity and making the website as accurate as it can be, all of that.

And it just seemed like more and more of my life was pulling in that direction. And I was like, well, how long can you ignore the universe telling you that you should do something? And I'm also in a ironically lucky position, I guess, in that I, because I have dead parents, I am in a position where I can quit my corporate job at this moment. It's not like...

Dear Psychopomp (14:42.574)
Mwah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (14:59.199)
never work again money, but it's like if you quit your corporate job, you will not immediately die money. So, so that's a huge privilege. It's really, and it's a complicated privilege because sometimes I feel really bad about that and guilty because I wish everybody could just quit their corporate jobs and pursue their life dreams or whatever. But I would rather, I guess, still have my corporate job and have alive parents, you know? Yeah, it is. It's really complicated.

Dear Psychopomp (15:05.712)
which is nice. Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (15:24.206)
Of course, yeah, it's so bittersweet.

Becky Robison (she/her) (15:29.355)
Yeah, it's strange feeling. And I think they were both small business owners, so I think that they would be really proud. Or they would think I was crazy. I suppose that's possible too. Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (15:38.406)
Well, what a beautiful act of love from them for you as well, you know, to give that comfort and that security to be able to sit down and say, okay, what am I being called to?

Becky Robison (she/her) (15:46.402)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (15:50.69)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (15:59.128)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (16:01.014)
is such a gift. so my next question for you is, what's your story? What happened with your parents?

Becky Robison (she/her) (16:12.237)
Yeah, I guess we should talk about that since I've been talking about all of the after effects. So here's what happened. In 2020, my mom died. She did not die of COVID, but I was very worried that she was...

going to be in the hospital and we weren't going to be able to be with her because that was at the time during the pandemic when they weren't letting family members into hospitals. She had liver disease. She had been an alcoholic for not for my whole life, but for several years and had struggled with alcoholism. And so eventually she died of liver disease. It was a better death than I thought we were going to get. We were able to to be with her at home when she passed. So I was there with my dad and my sister and

Dear Psychopomp (16:53.98)
Hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (16:57.263)
It was obviously very hard, but it was something I had expected for several years based on her condition. And you know, it was complicated, but I was glad that she could have a peaceful death at home with all of us. And we were able to bring hospice workers right into the house, so she was able to die, you know, with a hospice nurse there helping us and telling us what to do. was, hospice workers are just amazing people.

Dear Psychopomp (17:13.079)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (17:25.837)
They really know their stuff, yeah. And so my mom died at home and I obviously my dad was still alive at that time. So he took care of most of the estate stuff, know, the death planning, the funeral planning. But my sister and I were both old enough that we helped. So we helped pick out an urn. We helped pick out, you know, I wrote the obituary. We helped pick out and plan her memorial, which we didn't do immediately, obviously, because 2020. So we waited a year.

Dear Psychopomp (17:26.096)
Agreed.

Becky Robison (she/her) (17:55.924)
that was kind of rough, but also necessary. So we planned a fun memorial at her favorite pizza joint and we had it outside and served her favorite pizza. That was great. I think it was a lot of fun. My sister played music. Yeah. Anyway, so my mom had died. My, you know, sad, but life is moving on. We are progressing. I moved from Chicago to Louisville, Kentucky, just on a pandemic driven whim of being able to

Dear Psychopomp (18:14.684)
Ugh.

Becky Robison (she/her) (18:25.647)
to move to this new city where my dog could have more space and all of this stuff. And then a few months after I moved to Louisville, my dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer, which is a really brutal, fast-moving cancer most of the time, because they typically don't catch it until it's stage four and has moved to other organs, which was my dad's case. So my sister was still up there.

in the area and I started driving back every two weeks to help care for him because A, I wanted to be with him as you know he was had this very serious disease but also because I didn't want my sister to have to care for him alone that's not fair. You know that she should have to put everything on hold so I would literally drive up every two weeks and help take care of him and then drive back to Louisville and then drive back up and that was wild like such a weird period of my life. I was very lucky that my corporate job I was it was a remote corporate

Dear Psychopomp (19:03.996)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (19:19.937)
job so I was able to do that and keep doing my work. And I'm also just really grateful to my neighbors in Louisville and the friends that I somehow managed to make in Louisville through all of this who were

just really, you they hadn't known me for that long, but they were immediately like, what do you need? Do you need someone to water your yard? Do you need someone? You know, they were great. So I was up taking care of my dad every two weeks and he lasted about nine months, like, which is about what you get with pancreatic cancer. It's very fast moving. So in March of 2023, he died of pancreatic cancer. And then that just left, he died

Dear Psychopomp (19:37.829)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (20:03.001)
hospice, he was in hospice for about two weeks. So I sort of got to see like the full spectrum of, of kind of how people, the different ways people can die, you know, not the full spectrum, but several different ways, I suppose that people can die. And it all happened pretty quickly. My sister and I kept making really morbid jokes of like, well, at least we won't have to buy, you know, we have, can reuse some of the stuff from mom's memorial, you know, for dad's memorial.

Dear Psychopomp (20:14.246)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (20:30.341)
Hahaha

Becky Robison (she/her) (20:32.973)
And I have really amazing friends. So like I said, my friends who brought over Twister when my dad was in hospice and it was in the last days, they brought over like self care bags that we could like bring to the hospital with dry shampoo and fuzzy socks and they cooked for us and they helped so much. really I hope that everyone has, you know, people they can rely on like that. Cause that's really what you need is community in those moments. But.

I ended up executor, like I said, I didn't really know what that meant, but I knew it was something I would have to do. It turns out my parents had set up a living trust or at that point it was my dad's living trust.

I didn't know this at the time, but that's actually great. It keeps you out of probate court, but it's still a lot of responsibility. Like you have to fulfill aspects of the trust. And I had to manage their whole estate. know, they had, were snowbirds. had a condo in Wisconsin and a condo in Florida. And I had to work on selling those and cleaning them out and all the stuff that an executor would do. You still have to do it as a trustee. It's just, you don't have to necessarily go through court to do it. And then of course there were some things that they forgot to put in the trust. So those still did have

to through probate court. So I got to do both. Really fun. yeah, such a blast. It's just like a really fun time. But yeah, I just got so frustrated by the fact that I didn't, you I was grieving my dad. I was in a really sad place where I just didn't want to do anything.

Dear Psychopomp (21:48.188)
Such a blast.

Becky Robison (she/her) (22:02.793)
I was lucky in that my work gave me five whole days of bereavement leave, which sounds ridiculous, but that's actually a ton in the United States. It's not federally mandated, so they don't have to give me any at all. But that's certainly not enough time to grieve, plan a memorial, do all the executor stuff. No, mean, I'm still, two years later, and I'm still tying up loose ends with some of the estate stuff. Yeah, and so I just got so frustrated

Dear Psychopomp (22:12.047)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (22:28.294)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (22:32.687)
that no one teaches you how to do this or no one seems to know exactly, like, where's the checklist? Like, what's step one? What do I do? You know, what do I do when my dad has just died? Who is the first person I call? Like, how do I know what to tell a funeral home? What a funeral home's gonna ask for? That sort of thing, you know? And so I just tried to lay out, when I started making this website, it really started, I think I was telling you this earlier before we were recording, but it started as a tweet back when Twitter,

Dear Psychopomp (22:46.747)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (23:02.697)
was not so nightmarish. I tweeted something like, hey would people like it if I made a my parents are dead what now guide something like that and then it went like semi-viral not you know

wacky viral, but it went viral enough that I was getting responses from tons of random people telling me their stories and the overwhelming response seemed to be, yeah, that would be super useful. So I have just extreme eldest daughter energy and I was like, okay, well, I guess I'm going to make it myself. And that's what I did. And the rest is kind of history. It's been a wacky journey from there.

Dear Psychopomp (23:39.068)
Wow. I too have eldest daughter energy and my father, someone has to, someone has to, someone has to say the hard things. Yeah. My, uh, my father passed away, uh, from alcohol as well in, uh, 2018 and it's such a...

Becky Robison (she/her) (23:43.053)
Someone has to get the stuff done. Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (24:00.557)
Mm.

Dear Psychopomp (24:05.336)
It's like anticipatory grief but compounded over the years. And there's so many different types of grief that come with it because depending how old you were, like, you know, by the time I was, I want to say like 15 or so, it was starting to really show. And so in my, my brave 16 year old brain, I'm like, I'm going to help him quit. And.

Becky Robison (she/her) (24:10.007)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (24:32.448)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (24:34.712)
It took many, many times to learn the lesson that you cannot make someone change.

Becky Robison (she/her) (24:45.629)
No, they have to do that themselves and sometimes they can and sometimes they can't and it's really not something you can control. I'm sorry that happened when you were 16. I feel lucky quote unquote that with my mom it didn't really start until I was a full blown adult. I was in my 20s. It was after her sister died that she had kind of started drinking more and I think she was struggling with a lot of things like her sister's death with my sister and I both leaving the house. She was looking at retiring and I think

Dear Psychopomp (24:53.008)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (25:02.172)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (25:06.758)
Mmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (25:15.513)
she just was trying to find a sense of purpose, you know, without her job or her kids, what is she? And it just, yeah, it just started, it really snowballed, I think kind of quickly. But then once that started, it was like over the next several years, she would go to rehab and come out of it and, you know, and be okay for a while and then start again. it just, for the past, like by the time she died, for the past several years before that, every time my dad called, I was like,

Dear Psychopomp (25:18.352)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (25:27.355)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (25:45.644)
is it mom? Like is she dead? You know? And that feeling is just, yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (25:47.041)
I know.

Dear Psychopomp (25:51.536)
That's, yeah, it, I just want to give you a big hug right now. It's, it's, yeah, it's so hard and to watch... I mean, it really started when I was 16. He didn't pass away until, you know, I was early 30s. But at the time, we were actually two years estranged because of the alcohol and because...

Becky Robison (she/her) (25:57.398)
I wanna give you a big hug too, it's... yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (26:11.201)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (26:15.478)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (26:20.898)
It had just entirely consumed him, so I kind of had those two years to mourn the loss of what could have been.

Becky Robison (she/her) (26:35.669)
Yeah, that's a special, like a special extra kind of grief is when you're mourning a relationship that could have gone very differently, had different factors been in place.

Dear Psychopomp (26:45.892)
yeah and you're like what if you know could woulda shoulda and then when he passed away very dramatically by the way in Christmas Eve he was a grand gesture kind of guy so I was not surprised at all and then it's like okay well now I'm mourning the death of possibility

Becky Robison (she/her) (26:57.722)
wow. Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (27:10.082)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (27:12.104)
And so I'm wondering, it's, I know it's different for, for everyone of course, depending on what age you are and where you are in life, but as an adult without parents, what is, what is the thing that you tell yourself to get through this? Because I know that feeling of, man, I wish I could just call them right now. Cause I don't know what to do with this recipe.

Becky Robison (she/her) (27:41.003)
Yes, my gosh.

Dear Psychopomp (27:41.348)
Like, I need an adult-ier adult. Please someone just mother me.

Becky Robison (she/her) (27:44.726)
Yes.

Exactly, I'm 37 now and I don't I know that I Understand that I am an adult in the technical sense of the word But there are so many times when I just need a parent and I don't have one So I have called my aunts and uncles I have called my friends parents and I am fortunate to have a good relationship with a lot of my friends parents So if I need a if I need a parent to answer a parent question, but it's not the same It's not the same as asking your own parents. still feel you know, it's been years

Dear Psychopomp (28:03.921)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (28:14.588)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (28:17.935)
It's been two years since my dad died and my mom died in 2020. I used to call them all the time when I was walking my dogs or walking my dog. I don't have multiple dogs yet. But when I was walking my dog and now I still sometimes get the urge when I'm walking my dog to call them. But I think the way I get through it is just kind of remembering that.

Dear Psychopomp (28:27.974)
Mm-hmm

Dear Psychopomp (28:35.42)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (28:40.617)
If I don't know what I'm doing, that probably means that they also didn't know what they were doing as much as they,

claim to because I think very normal for your children that you put on a brave face and you put on a persona of like, yes, I know things so that you child do not have to worry because I will do all of that for you and do all the worrying for you. But I think most adults don't really know what they're doing and we're all just trying to figure it out as we go along. And so that's something I try to remind myself of on a daily basis is that nobody has it figured out.

Dear Psychopomp (28:52.698)
Yeah

Dear Psychopomp (29:14.222)
yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (29:21.483)
it out the same way everybody else figures it out, which is trial and error. Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (29:26.016)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, it's it's definitely been a ride, especially when I get to... so I didn't have a gentle childhood and as I get to the same age that my parents were when they were parenting me, it's like, whoa! Like, I had them on a pedestal and...

It was just, it's so hard and now I'm here, I'm 39 and I'm like, ugh, I have no clue what I'm doing. I'm having, I'm trying to have fun while I do it. And of course like the whole fake it till you make it thing, but at the end of the day, I'm still...

Becky Robison (she/her) (30:02.509)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (30:10.288)
you know, I'll tell people my age and they're like, you're so young, you're such a young pup. And I'm like, no, this is the oldest I've ever been. I don't know how to be any older than this. I'm still trying to work through that.

Becky Robison (she/her) (30:19.595)
Mm-hmm.

People always tell me I am very young, especially after my parents died. They say, oh, you're so young. And it's funny because I am, in the sense of a person who has dead parents, typically people seem to be older when they lose their parents. Because I was, I think, 35 when my dad died. Yes, because I'm 37 now. But.

I always think my parents were so young. They died when they were in their 60s and they didn't even get to do a whole retirement situation and they didn't even get to, you know, live out. There was like a good chunk of their lives there that they could have still lived. And so I always feel that they were very young. I feel like it's reversed in my brain.

Dear Psychopomp (31:08.098)
Mm-hmm. I think so too. I- so my dad was 58 and I'm absolutely not dreading but kind of

Dear Psychopomp (31:22.844)
curious, how am going to feel when I turn 58? How am going to feel when I turn 59 and I'm older than my dad ever got to be? And so, you know, the, the intrusive thoughts of having ADD and

Becky Robison (she/her) (31:39.242)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (31:43.512)
It's kind of... My parents... Not being here.

Dear Psychopomp (31:55.138)
It's it's bittersweet because that's kind of what kickstarted. Okay, what do I want to do with my life? What do I actually want to do? Like not what am I going to do nine to five? How am I going to do my taxes this year? It was like, okay, like what's those things are important. I mean, that's the society that we were born into and grew up with, of course, but you know, how am going to fill my cup? What do

Becky Robison (she/her) (32:15.351)
Sure.

Dear Psychopomp (32:23.353)
How do I want to die?

Becky Robison (she/her) (32:25.545)
It really, yeah, it really makes you think about that stuff because I hope I will outlive my parents. That would be nice. But at the same time, you know, I'd live longer than they did. But if I don't, that gives me, I don't know, 30 years, you know, so I better get moving. I better start doing the things I really want to do and not worry so much about propriety or doing exactly what society.

expects of me or wants me to do because I may not have that long in which to do it so I better get going I better quit my corporate job I better try this weird death thing because if it fails well at least I tried and at least I can die someday saying I tried it and you know gave it the good college try

Dear Psychopomp (33:00.228)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (33:14.394)
Well, and even not even just trying like the things that you've put out there on your website, which for anyone listening is deadparentswhatnow.com It's your legacy because even if you were to stop today and you were just like, I did good, I'm done. It's still out there in the world for people to find and it's a resource and I think it's such

beautiful legacy to leave behind because that's kind of one thing that really stuck with me after my dad died is he didn't he didn't really have a legacy

Becky Robison (she/her) (33:59.64)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (34:01.252)
and you know he he wanted to be cremated but instead he was buried.

So I was like, I didn't have...

Dear Psychopomp (34:15.545)
something to hold on to.

And so it's like, okay, what am I gonna leave behind? Because children aren't in the cards for me. I don't want the two and a half kids and white picket fence. I mean, I would love a white picket fence, not gonna lie, but.

Becky Robison (she/her) (34:33.193)
I do have a white picket fence and it is not something I ever thought I was going to have, but my house in Louisville has a white picket fence and it's pretty great. But yeah, not so... Yeah. But yeah, I also am not... I don't... doubt... Unless something really changes in life, I doubt kids are in the picture.

Dear Psychopomp (34:40.142)
I love that. I love that. I wish we had fencing at all, but I digress.

Dear Psychopomp (34:52.892)
Yeah, I mean, it's an adventure that I just don't feel equipped to handle, especially with how I grew up. I never had a good example of what to do, and I barely stumbled through on what not to do. So I'm like, I'm still trying to parent myself. And

Becky Robison (she/her) (35:17.453)
Sure.

Dear Psychopomp (35:19.258)
you know, growing up like that most of the skills that I learned were actually from YouTube. Have you ever, have you heard of that guy? what is it? Dad, how do I? Isn't he awesome?

Becky Robison (she/her) (35:27.627)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (35:33.343)
Yes, I have heard of that, which is so wonderful. That's exactly what we need in this world is more parents putting their skills on offer for people who don't have them and need the help. Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (35:43.108)
Yes! And there's this one... is he on Facebook or Instagram? Potpot?

Becky Robison (she/her) (35:53.197)
No, I don't know that one.

Dear Psychopomp (35:54.72)
He's this grandfather and he comes up with two cups of tea and he's like, hold on, grandbaby. And he'll just cheer you on. And I know it's hard. You're doing good. Have a tea with me. And I was, I was like, do you have room for another grandchild?

Becky Robison (she/her) (36:12.427)
No, that's so nice. I sort of get some of that energy sometimes. I've been volunteering.

at Hildegard House, is Kentucky's only comfort care home. It's here in Louisville. So it's a place where people who need hospice care can go to live if they don't have a place to stay while receiving that care. for example, it's not always people who are unhoused, although it could be that. But it's a lot of times it's people who don't have someone who can stay home with them 24 seven to have hospice come to them or maybe people who can't afford a private hospice facility or that sort of thing. But so it's kind of all walks of life, very different people.

but I've been volunteering there and most of the volunteers are retired people, are the people who typically volunteer there. I'm one of the younger volunteers. So that's how I maintain like boomer energy in my life is I volunteer at this place doing work that I really care about, but then also I spend most of my time talking with people who I probably wouldn't otherwise talk to a lot of people in that age group. So it is kind of like

Dear Psychopomp (37:02.745)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (37:18.573)
spending time not with my parents but people like my parents or people who remind me sometimes of what my parents were like or what people of their generation might think and I tell them about the book that I'm writing and they're like so cool let's see you know like can you show me an example we're gonna pre-order it when it comes you know and I'm like this is so nice like I love them yeah

Dear Psychopomp (37:23.472)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (37:30.652)
Aww.

Dear Psychopomp (37:38.316)
I love that so much. I do presentations as a death doula at assisted living facilities and things like that to encourage preplanning and just kind of get people talking more about death because growing old is a privilege that not everyone gets. And so, you know, afterwards...

They'll come and give me hugs and say they're proud of me and they love me and they'll tell me their stories.

Becky Robison (she/her) (38:12.577)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (38:14.716)
And some of the best stories that I've ever heard are from elders that I have zero connection with.

Becky Robison (she/her) (38:23.596)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (38:25.274)
And you take that with you and then their story becomes a part of your legacy because you get to retell it and you're kind of like you are the sum of parts of everyone that you surround yourself with. And so yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (38:38.527)
Mm-hmm. That's such a beautiful way of putting it, because you really are. It's like, it's such a... I think we live in a society that's so individualistic, and it's a good reminder that we are not meant to be individualistic. We are built of all of the people who came before us and all of the people who touch our lives even in small ways. It's like, that's what creates us as a person.

Dear Psychopomp (38:57.559)
Mm-hmm.

Absolutely. I mean, I remember I lived in Winnipeg, Manitoba many many years ago and I was early 20s, I was on public transit and this older gentleman, you know, he had that very like the soft features, that wise look, like you know, he's seen some shit kind of thing and

Becky Robison (she/her) (39:24.141)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (39:26.85)
He put his hand on my shoulder and he was like, hey you're doing really good.

And I went home and cried, like a baby. And I didn't know how much I needed that, like 10, 15 years later I still remember that. And it makes you wonder, like, what are other people gonna remember about me? How have I touched other people's lives without even realizing it?

Becky Robison (she/her) (39:36.641)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (39:43.692)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (39:54.892)
Yeah, because you don't know. Like you don't know exactly what you're going to say that really alters somebody's thinking or changes somebody's mind.

Dear Psychopomp (40:02.818)
Mm-hmm. Yeah, and it's just the I find that often comes when you're actually being your your true genuine self

Becky Robison (she/her) (40:13.549)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (40:15.148)
And so it's this awesome journey of self-discovery and re-

Dear Psychopomp (40:25.308)
prioritizing things and I found like when I first started as a death doula it was like entrepreneur mode and man I was focused laser focused and I couldn't figure out how to market myself as a death doula without it being like creepy or weird like hey let's talk about death and then

Becky Robison (she/her) (40:27.788)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (40:40.748)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (40:54.532)
I had kind of like my eureka moment. Like, I'm gonna scare people off anyways.

Becky Robison (she/her) (41:03.211)
Yeah, so just let the people who you don't scare off, you can still help them.

Dear Psychopomp (41:07.566)
yeah and it's it's not my fault that they're scared like it's it's getting through that that imposter syndrome is really difficult and then i was like i'm gonna start a podcast and now it's like i have more followers on instagram for my podcast than i do for my business and i was like really stepping into this this weird

Becky Robison (she/her) (41:12.608)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (41:27.381)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (41:34.917)
morbid, beautiful little niche of... no, no, just of being death-conscious.

Becky Robison (she/her) (41:38.079)
It's amazing because you just, sorry, continue.

Becky Robison (she/her) (41:44.32)
Mm-hmm. I feel like I I'm very lucky to have had all of this happen to me in a time when the death positive community is There and it's growing and there are more and more people Interested in this it's just it feels very supportive, you know It's like yes people don't think I'm crazy for quitting my corporate job and trying to do this and they're very welcoming They're like, thank you for putting this stuff out. Please come on my cool podcast, you know, just it's it's really nice to just meet

Dear Psychopomp (42:04.902)
Nah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (42:14.257)
meet all these people who are aligned and think in the same way and it feels like we can make a difference. It feels like as a group and as we grow we can pull more and more people in and we can really effect some change in this area that could use some change.

Dear Psychopomp (42:30.136)
Absolutely, absolutely. You know, you mentioned before about community when you were grieving. And so not that you're like, quote, through your grief, but now that it's a couple years past, how is your community supporting you and and

Becky Robison (she/her) (42:38.989)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (42:59.034)
you know, what does that look like for you now? Because the reason I ask is typically after you've had a death in the family and your loved ones who are not connected are trying to support you, usually after three to six months people stop checking in on you. And it's not malicious or anything, the world is still turning, they still have their lives to...

Becky Robison (she/her) (43:20.449)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (43:27.504)
to go on with, so I'm wondering what that experience has been like for you.

Becky Robison (she/her) (43:35.542)
I, well, I know what you mean. There are certainly some people who kind of stopped checking in after a while, but...

Dear Psychopomp (43:41.936)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (43:42.638)
I feel again very lucky in this is that I've had there's a specific group of friends that I've had since I was a little kid like since we were seven one of them since we were 11 and this is going to sound ridiculous but we have a group chat and we talk about everything literally all of the time so I don't know how people survive without friend groups like this but it's like literally every iota of an emotion I have about you know like I'm feeling scared today because of

or I'm feeling kind of bummed out today and I realized it was because I was remembering the anniversary of my dad's death. You know, just whatever. We talk about literally everything. And they're so great. They remember my parents' death anniversaries, you know, so they're like on it ahead of time, you know, so they, yeah. And it's just that kind of care, which is so helpful. And it's like I know that I'm not gonna go without that kind of support. It's like I feel, I sometimes describe my support network as aggressive.

Dear Psychopomp (44:19.228)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (44:28.889)
Wow.

Becky Robison (she/her) (44:42.521)
I have an aggressive support network. So I think that's really lucky and I recognize that it's not something everybody gets. And I really wish it were something that's why it's really important for me to normalize talking about death and dying and all of this stuff because I think the more we normalize talking about it, the more people are going to talk about it, not just in terms of making death plans, but just talking about it with their friends in general. If we can make talking about this as normal as talking about reality

Dear Psychopomp (44:43.546)
Hahaha

Dear Psychopomp (44:58.096)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (45:12.672)
or whatever, then you can just...

jump in there and not feel so weird. You know, there's not going to be this barrier of like, I don't really know how to treat this person who's grieving because like I've never heard about this before and I don't understand exactly what to say, you know. So, yeah, that's why I one reason I'm really so passionate about talking about it because it's it's just we got to get used to saying these things to each other. Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (45:31.035)
yet.

Dear Psychopomp (45:42.0)
Yes, yes, I agree and I'm so happy for you that you have that aggressive love.

Becky Robison (she/her) (45:50.286)
Yeah, it's really amazing and I always genuinely wonder because it's not just about grief, it's about everything that happens in my life. know, if I'm something exciting is coming up, tell them if something, you know, and they tell me and we all celebrate each other's wins and losses and, you know, just.

send silly videos to each other when one of us is having anxiety. You know, it's just, have this constant check-in process and, and it is cause we're friends. It's like, seems really normal. doesn't seem like a formal check-in process. It's just that we're like constantly talking to each other about every single aspect about our lives, including like, I don't know, our poop or whatever. So it's just, you know, it's just so we're so unabashedly unafraid to talk about anything that,

Dear Psychopomp (46:14.808)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (46:33.456)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (46:40.143)
it really is helpful when it comes to the really bad stuff. It's like, I know there are these people I can turn to and they can turn to me and we've got each other's backs and there's no question about that. And I wish that everybody had something like that.

Dear Psychopomp (46:54.716)
For sure, for sure. So I know you have a book coming out. So it's called My Parents Are Dead, What Now? A Practical Guide to Your Life After Their Death. And so in your book, which I can't wait to read by the way, is do you touch on anything to do for people who don't have that community?

Becky Robison (she/her) (47:02.827)
Yes.

Dear Psychopomp (47:22.34)
journaling and self-expression and like, like what do you recommend?

Becky Robison (she/her) (47:26.295)
Well, I, the book focuses largely on the logistics of death and dying because I feel like that, I do feel like we,

Dear Psychopomp (47:35.324)
Mm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (47:41.49)
are kind of in a renaissance of grief resources, which is good. It's good that we're having these things out there and we need more of them because, you know, I feel like a lot of when I feel like when I was growing up, especially grief wasn't talked about and the resources were like, you can go to a support group at a church or something like that. And now there's just so much more out there. Shout out to one resource I really love is Grieve Leave. Do you follow Grieve Leave at all?

Dear Psychopomp (48:09.616)
No, what's that?

Becky Robison (she/her) (48:11.007)
It's a website and they, a website and a community that you can join, but they just have, I wrote an essay for them once, it was great, but they have all sorts of different types of grief resources and discussions on their website, not just for losing a loved one, but like for losing a job that you really wanted or losing a pet or a breakup or anything where you might be feeling grief in your life. They have all of these different aspects of grief all in one place. And I don't know, I just think they're great.

Dear Psychopomp (48:30.054)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (48:40.981)
So Grieve Leave is a wonderful site. Anyway, I got sidetracked. book. Book is more about, yes, endorsements, yes. We'll just share all the cool resources. The book is mostly about the logistics, but I did obviously recognize that grief is gonna be something that people are gonna wander about, wonder about. So I do have a chapter at the end that has a lot of reminders about, you know,

Dear Psychopomp (48:44.86)
Endorsements, welcome.

Becky Robison (she/her) (49:07.713)
For example, you can't blame yourself if you don't get everything right the first time. You can't necessarily predict everything that's going to happen. And so there's that whole chapter addressing grief specifically and the emotional side of things. And then also at the end of every chapter, so this is on my website too, their little sections, but at the end of every chapter, there's a section with self-care skeleton who is a special.

friend on my website and self-care skeleton tells you special tips about how to deal with some of the more emotional aspects or just like the just how to continue to live your life. You know, so so things like you can tell people no, it's okay. Even if people are offering to help you, you can tell them no. You know, or you can say I'll get back to you later. You know, because everybody wants to help but maybe you don't need 12,000 casseroles or

Dear Psychopomp (49:38.106)
Dear Psychopomp (49:49.884)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (49:57.892)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (50:06.381)
You know, you can leave your house. Like, it's okay to, you can like go see a comedy show the week after your parents died. It's fine. That's allowed. You can keep living your life even in the immediate aftermath of a death. You don't have to, if you're not, you know, crying 24 seven, that doesn't mean you're a bad person. It doesn't mean that you're grieving wrong. There is no way to do that. It's okay to be mad. Just as long as you don't take it out on other people. It's totally fine to be mad. I did give some fun.

Dear Psychopomp (50:12.879)
Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (50:26.787)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (50:35.575)
thoughts about outlets for anger, like, you know, have you heard of rage rooms where you can go rent a room and smash things or I got really into metal. Like once my dad, it was really funny. I never used to listen to metal a ton. And then when my dad got sick and especially after he died, I got like way into metal music. It was like the right time for me to get into metal. So yeah, I love Ghost is a band that I love. They're kind of goofy metal, but I love them. I'm going to see them in...

Dear Psychopomp (50:56.784)
Like what bands?

Becky Robison (she/her) (51:05.367)
They're coming to Louisville in July and I'm very excited. I love Poppy. I love Nova Twins. feel like, I don't know, there's a lot of bands, but yeah. Yeah? What are your recommendations? What should I be listening to that I'm not listening to?

Dear Psychopomp (51:14.66)
I love metal music. Love, love, love.

Dear Psychopomp (51:23.0)
my goodness. I mean, I would start with the original works of Korn. Volbeat. I love Volbeat. Five Finger Death Punch are kind of like the quintessential, I'm angry at the world, here's my song. And they actually have this one song. what's it called? I think it's Shades of Grey.

Becky Robison (she/her) (51:30.399)
Okay, okay.

I like Volbeat. They're good. Yeah. Okay.

Becky Robison (she/her) (51:43.787)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (51:50.647)
Mm-hmm.

Dear Psychopomp (51:50.662)
that I actually want to have played at my funeral? Yeah. It's kind of a letter from someone who has passed away to the people left surviving. It's like, if you're reading this, that means I'm gone. And it's just such a beautiful song.

Becky Robison (she/her) (51:54.837)
Is it about death or is it just about? Yeah, I should add it.

Becky Robison (she/her) (52:05.1)
I'm writing.

Becky Robison (she/her) (52:13.633)
I'm writing that down because in my weekly newsletter I have a section that's like the daily dirge where I recommend a song about death and then I add it to a YouTube playlist. So I'm always looking for songs about death so I'm gonna add that one to the list.

Dear Psychopomp (52:28.804)
I have an entire playlist of songs about death. yeah, that I don't share.

Becky Robison (she/her) (52:32.075)
Yes, perfect. Send it over. No, you should share. That's why I do the Daily Dirge. It's like we all need to listen to some songs about death sometimes. It helps. Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (52:42.31)
We

Becky Robison (she/her) (52:47.863)
Sometimes you need that cry and sometimes you need, sorry I didn't mean to interrupt, but sometimes you need that cry and sometimes you need that weird, dark, blistering, like angry energy too.

Dear Psychopomp (52:51.697)
No.

Dear Psychopomp (52:59.398)
Right? Just that growl, angry at the world and yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (53:01.963)
Yeah. Yeah, it's okay to be angry at the world as long as you don't yell at people who don't deserve it.

Dear Psychopomp (53:08.952)
Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah, that's like one of my my mantras is Do no harm, but take no shit Yeah, so boundaries are important. Don't be a jerk Don't hurt other people because you can't understand your own emotions I could go on So, I want to thank you again so much for

Becky Robison (she/her) (53:15.797)
Exactly. Yep.

Becky Robison (she/her) (53:26.135)
Mm-hmm. Yep. Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (53:36.07)
for being on the show and having this discussion. Becky can be found online at deadparentswhetnow.com. There's also the name of your newsletter. I absolutely adore. Just looking at it here now, it says, find your niche in the columbarium. Like that's so beautiful. Okay.

Becky Robison (she/her) (53:57.452)
Yes, it's called the Columbarium. It comes out every Tuesday.

Dear Psychopomp (54:04.502)
I can't wait to subscribe to that. And then if anyone listening here would like to...

give Becky some love and support, can go to ko-fi.com, no clue if I'm saying it right, it's k-o-f-i.com slash dadparents and you can support her, you can leave a note, you can see other ways to follow her and support her online and just I'm so grateful to have met you and I'm not gonna lie, I've been fangirling a little bit this whole

whole time.

Becky Robison (she/her) (54:43.767)
This is so exciting that I have a fan of kind of thing. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having me on the podcast. I always get really excited when people are like, hey, you random person, do you want to be on my podcast? I'm like, yes, I do. This is so cool. Thank you so much for having me.

Dear Psychopomp (54:58.692)
I know, I love, and this is something I've never actually said out loud, but I love being able to nerd out about death without.

Becky Robison (she/her) (55:09.249)
without feeling judged or like you're a weird person, yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (55:10.68)
Yeah. Yeah. Well, I mean, I know I'm weird. That's fine. I love being weird, but, with it, with it just being accepted, like being able to talk about the taboo stuff is you're going to have to talk about it eventually. You can do it after while you stumble through it and you're going through grief and stuff like that. Or you talk about it now, normalize it, prepare for it.

Becky Robison (she/her) (55:14.763)
Sure, yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (55:23.883)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Robison (she/her) (55:28.822)
Yeah.

Becky Robison (she/her) (55:33.517)
Just talk about it now. can tear off the band-aid.

Dear Psychopomp (55:40.496)
You know, so before I let you go here, there is something that I'd love to ask you. I mean, I have a million questions. So I'll narrow it down to two. How do you take your coffee?

Becky Robison (she/her) (55:49.111)
Sure.

Becky Robison (she/her) (55:58.765)
I like an oat milk latte. That's usually what I go with.

Dear Psychopomp (55:58.938)
You can tell a lot about a person.

Dear Psychopomp (56:05.404)
Ooh, okay, very classic, very, mm, okay. Yep, just.

Becky Robison (she/her) (56:09.069)
I feel like the oat milk is sweet enough that I don't need to add a sweetener.

Dear Psychopomp (56:14.106)
Okay, well I think you're sweet enough that you don't need sweetener anyways. And what is your favorite planet and why?

Becky Robison (she/her) (56:17.343)
thank you.

Becky Robison (she/her) (56:23.725)
what is my favorite planet and why?

Dear Psychopomp (56:27.514)
Nobody asks us these fun questions anymore. I want to know.

Becky Robison (she/her) (56:31.007)
Okay, I have two answers to that question. One is that like, will say Pluto because it needs to be defended and as a millennial, think that it's ridiculous that we've got, you have a Pluto tattoo? That's so cool.

Dear Psychopomp (56:43.758)
I have two.

Becky Robison (she/her) (56:45.149)
amazing! So Pluto's my answer because it needs defending and it needs to be brought back into the fold. But also I will say Earth because we live here and humans are, even as we do like awful things, at the same time we do amazing things. And every once in a while I'm reminded of how wonderful humans can be and so I have to give Earth a shout out for having some rad people on it.

Dear Psychopomp (56:49.391)
Yes.

Dear Psychopomp (56:59.93)
true.

Dear Psychopomp (57:08.32)
absolutely and Mars for having a cool robot and I mean it's true it's true but I mean Pluto has a special place in my heart and literally over my heart as a tattoo and you know what Pluto I'm not a planet either it's okay

Becky Robison (she/her) (57:12.043)
Yeah, you know, I mean really you could make a case for almost any planet. They are all very cool.

Becky Robison (she/her) (57:29.293)
Yeah, you can be a human, Pluto. Yeah.

Dear Psychopomp (57:32.486)
Yeah! I love that. I actually, there's a globe of Pluto right up there too. Yeah, I love the heart on it. Anyways, thank you again so much. And one last question, when is your book being released?

Becky Robison (she/her) (57:38.605)
That's so cool! Ugh, that's amazing.

Becky Robison (she/her) (57:51.168)
It is being released in early January, 2026. So it's still a little ways out, but it should be available for pre-order probably sometime this summer or like late summer. So if you follow me on social media or if you're on my website or if you subscribe to the newsletter, I will be real annoying about it when pre-orders come out. You will know. So yeah, just follow me and you'll definitely know more about the book release when it comes up.

Dear Psychopomp (58:19.74)
Perfect, I can't wait. I'm also gonna add that if you go to Linktree slash Dear Psycho Pump, I am gonna have that on my suggested book list. So you can find it there as well. And I hope you have such a wonderful day and you take care. Thank you. You too.

Becky Robison (she/her) (58:30.039)
Thank you, that's wonderful.

Becky Robison (she/her) (58:37.653)
You too. Yeah, it was great talking to you.