Worry About Being Unsuccessful, Not Unmarried - with Guest Dr. Lulu Tang

In this episode of the Elite Level Status Podcast, I sit down with dentist and entrepreneur Dr. Lulu Tang for a conversation about success, ambition, and modern dating.

We talk about her background growing up in poverty after being born in a refugee camp in Cambodia, being raised by a hardworking single mother in Portland, and how those humble beginnings shaped her drive, discipline, and vision for the life she wanted to build. 

We also get into her journey into dentistry, why oral health and confidence are so deeply connected, and how she built a respected name for herself in Las Vegas through both her dental work and her personal brand. 

Then we get into modern dating. This was a thoughtful conversation about relationships, social media influence, exclusivity, and the pressure women feel around marriage. 

She breaks down why she believes people should focus on becoming successful and self-sufficient before rushing into marriage, how financial independence creates discernment, and why building your own life first makes relationships healthier and more intentional. 

We also talk about what men misunderstand about women like her, what makes a man stand out, and why communication, consistency, and emotional support matter more than money.

This episode is for anyone trying to build something meaningful in life while still wanting a real relationship. If you care about success, standards, and dating with intention, this is a conversation you’ll want to hear. 

Follow for more conversations on relationships, self-development, and becoming elite in every area of life.

Follow Dr. Lulu Tang on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr.lulutang/

This episode is brought to you by Elite Level Status Wines.
Approachable, medium-bodied wines with great flavor and minimal aftertaste.

15% OFF for listeners
Visit: https://www.elitelevelstatus.co/

Follow us on Instagram:
https://www.instagram.com/elitelevelstatus_podcast/ 

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This podcast is brought to you by Elite Double Status Wines. My wine journey started with drinking cheap grocery store wines that were really acidic and gave me headaches. Then I switched to quote unquote luxury, but overpriced full-bodied wines that were really heavy and had a bad aftertaste. The inability to find the perfect wine led to the creation of elite level status wines. Elite level status wines are approachable, medium-bodied wines with great flavor and minimal aftertaste. And with me being a health conscious person, I wanted to create a wine that was lower in sugar and lower in calories than the full-bodied mass-produced wines that we always see. We currently have two wines. First is our Cabernet, as notes of blackberry, cinnamon, plum, nutmeg, and French vanilla. And we also have our rose wine. Our rose is going to be a flat, dry ink rose with subtle strawberry and raspberry flavors. Both wines are medium-bodied wines with less sugar and less calories, and they're both available on my website, elsbindwine.com. Check them out, and I hope you love it. Thanks for clicking the link and checking out the Elite Level Status Podcast. Since you're here, I have a special offer just for you. It's 15% off either of my wines. So click the link below and check them out, and I hope you enjoy the podcast. Elite Level Status Podcast, we're back again. Remember, you can catch us on Apple, YouTube, and Spotify, wherever you get your podcast. Today we got a special guest. She's an entrepreneur and dentist. Her name is Dr. Lulu Tang. She's in studio. Thanks for coming in.

SPEAKER_03 1:39

Thanks for having me. This is going to be an interesting one for me because I have not done this type of podcasting before.

SPEAKER_00 1:46

Well, great. I'm I'm glad you came in. I think it's going to be amazing. So let's just jump right into it. You have accomplished a whole lot in a short amount of time. But first I want to start with your background. So give us your background. Where and how did you grow up?

SPEAKER_03 1:59

Well, I appreciate that. I mean, I'm still, you know, I got more goals to get uh done, but I do appreciate, you know, the accolades and everything that I've achieved so far. My background, I'm from Portland, Oregon. I am 33 years old. So we were born in a different country. You know, I was born in a refugee camp because we're a product of war in the country of Cambodia.

SPEAKER_01 2:22

Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03 2:23

So missionaries had brought us up to Portland and it was a single mom of four kids. I was the youngest, and we really just um always, my mom was always working. We really never had her around. So a lot of people like to ask, like, why don't you speak any Asian languages? And traditionally, you would be taken care of by your grandparent or family members. But most of our friends when we were younger were either like Hispanic or um the black community. So we didn't really have anyone to speak Asian languages to. And that's really all I really really remember growing up is that my mom was always working and trying to put food on the table. We really struggled through financially, you know, getting through life. We didn't have much growing up. So I had very humble beginnings, and you know, that really was the foundation for me of wanting to drive my success today.

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Wow. Interesting. Interesting. And I I know your family has to be incredibly proud of what you've already accomplished so far. Um what made you want to pursue dentistry?

SPEAKER_03 3:23

You know, I knew I wanted to be a dentist since I was 16 years old.

SPEAKER_00 3:27

Really?

SPEAKER_03 3:27

Yes. And I I don't know if you have a lot of Asian friends, but I I have a couple.

SPEAKER_00 3:34

Okay, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 3:35

There is a stereotype that Asians need um jobs with status, right? Either doctors, number one, lawyer, engineer. Like that's always the thing. Like a very typical immigrant dream coming to America for the American dream, which is to get one of those jobs. Right. Study hard, get a good job. And I was the youngest four, so I could see all of my siblings not be able to have those opportunities that I did to achieve that. I school stuck with me. I felt like I was good in school. I was good in academics. And it's like, you know what? I like this. And um, when I had the opportunity to get braces and go through my own oral health transformation, I just felt so much more confident in myself. When I was younger, you know, I was sm smiling with um, I wasn't smiling. I was like covering my mouth up when I was talking. And I just didn't want to like laugh out loud because I didn't feel good about myself. When you come from low-income family, you don't really go to the doctor unless you're in pain, right? So it was not one of those um aspects in our life that we were very consistent with. So for me, when I got that oral health transformation, it wasn't about straightening teeth and going to orthodontics. It was about the education, how important your teeth are to um someone's confidence, to someone's lifestyle. And that's the feeling that I get to give to other people. And so coming from 16 years old, that was a 10-year plan. And I love that I get to do what I love now. Um, and so I work at it every day. And people are like, you work so much, but I'm I'm just blessed that I'm very passionate about oral health and dentistry.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

I love that. I love that. So that kind of leads into my next question. I was gonna ask you what aspects of your journey have been the most fulfilling? And it seems like it's more so about helping people feel better about their smile and in turn helping them feel better about themselves. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_03 5:30

Absolutely. Like the education part is so important because a lot of times when you come from a background that I did, you don't get that access to education of why it's important, right? Like who tells you to brush and floss? You just get told that, but you don't really know why. Right. Right. And so you end up becoming an adult and like, man, I need to see a dentist and you got all these problems. And so it really goes back to that relationship that I build with patients to me, you know, especially in Las Vegas, coming here as a graduate in 2019 and really being able to build a community and being a staple. I feel that, you know, I'm pretty well known in not only the dental community, but the community in Las Vegas. Like when I get to go out, you know, I see people, I run into people. Um, and I've been told the difference I've been able to make for them and not only like their perception of dentistry, but being able to feel good about themselves. And it's not just fixing teeth, but it's changing lives.

SPEAKER_00 6:24

I mean, I I love that. And I feel like the sign of a good business is when you solve a problem and you help people. You're definitely doing that.

SPEAKER_03 6:30

I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_00 6:31

So yeah, I definitely love that. So speaking of a business, can you kind of talk about some of your business ventures you have right now?

SPEAKER_03 6:36

Absolutely. So I built Sahara Modern Dentistry. I've been partnered with um an organization called PDS Health. Um, we are, I well, I am selling my practice, my equity, and that this year. It's been five years. So it's been crazy that I've been able to take this off from empty parking lot, empty rooms, and like nothing, and build it up to where it's at right now and take a step back. And, you know, I'm really looking forward to seeing what other cities hold for me. I talk about the only other city that I think could compete with Las Vegas is Miami. Um, of course, I love LA, Houston, Atlanta, you know, look into those ventures of like maybe I'll teeth by Lulu will pop up in your city. Um, and then we are working with um a lab building up the grills and luxury um aesthetics company for if people want gold on the two diamonds and um just allowing that aspect in dentistry to also uh be accessible for that common person.

SPEAKER_00 7:36

Okay, love that. Love that and credit to you. Like I feel like you've done a great job of blending your business and your personal brand, especially on social media. Um, you know, I when I started following following you and I can see what you've been posting, like I'm invested because you do a great job of showing the the buildup, right? And how this happens over a long period of time. So definitely congratulations to you. And then um with with your with your grills business, that's that's something that you're still going to be carrying forward, right?

SPEAKER_03 8:03

Absolutely. So I'm part of the board of advisors for consulting. So again, if you're a dentist or you're, you know, or even a patient, ask your dent, ask your dentist to contact us. Okay. Um, we can get them set up. But just in speaking in terms of like the Instagram and social media, you know, I got on the platform to inspire other people who come from my background to also pursue higher education. I think when I started, I didn't get a lot of examples of, you know, what that looks like. It was always, you know, baddies, the looks. Yeah, that was the popular thing back in the day. And so I knew that, you know, for me, academics was so important or pursuing higher education or just, you know, pursuing a career. But sometimes it can be overwhelming when you come from a background where it's like you have to do all these steps, you don't have anyone in your family to teach you. So that's the whole reason I got on the platform in the first place.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 8:54

And so now um I it's really evolved to allow patients to see and um get that oral health education out and again be accessible to everyone.

SPEAKER_00 9:04

Yeah. I mean, listen, in my personal opinion, I think every you're you're a leader and a role model for all the women. I mean, every every parent, if they have a daughter, should be pointing at you and be like, hey, be like this. Like I feel like you've you you have a factor of prestige and and um aspiration that everybody can respect, right? And and you are right. A lot of people on Instagram that are famous, it's kind of like, you know, well, what what do they do?

SPEAKER_02 9:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:30

With with you, it's clear that you got educated. You started a business. Now we're at a point where you want to sell a business and start another business.

SPEAKER_02 9:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:37

I mean, this is this is uh amazing. So I I definitely wouldn't encourage you just to keep building what you're doing. Um, because I I feel like it's sure I don't I don't see a lot of people, men or women, like doing what you're doing. So that's uh that's why um I definitely respect and that's why I'm glad you you came in here.

SPEAKER_03 9:53

Yeah, for sure. I think like especially if we're gonna be talking about dating and things like that, I know that is I'm gonna be speaking to like the younger girls, right? The people who maybe like the older people or older women, they're already established, they already have their own habits and ways. I think the most important person I speak to every time I'm on social media or doing anything is like the youngest girl, you know, making a change and make making her see herself and me in some capacity so that way she can be inspired to do something as well.

SPEAKER_00 10:23

Right. And listen, you're a great communicator too. I you're you're definitely um can articulate your words well in that that just helps more people want to follow you, right? You can get your message up across.

SPEAKER_03 10:34

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00 10:35

Okay, so speaking about dating, that's why we're here, right? That's a perfect transition. Elite Level Status Podcast. Okay. Um now we have a lot of questions here. First one, what are just your overall thoughts on the modern dating one? Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 10:50

I just want to put a caveat on there. Like, I am not a dating expert. So again, like these are my perspectives, but hopefully, you know, it can help inspire somebody. I because the problem I find with modern dating is social media. Okay. Right? I find that people are going to social media to get their perspectives and then influencing them. It's like you can't even think for yourself. It's like that's wrong, that's right. You can't even date on your own because you have so many people talking about it. And I think it's just so transactional because it's always like tit for tat, like people are trying to do equal exchanges and then they go online. It's like, oh yeah, he don't give a shit about you because he's doing X, Y, and Z, but really like they don't have that context, right? And so I think there's just so much outside influence that you can't have your own individual like experience with one person.

SPEAKER_00 11:44

Very well said. Um, I think that people struggle, yeah, like you said, to create their own thought process. Yeah. Why do you believe this? Did you do you believe it because you thought this true or you saw it on social media?

SPEAKER_03 11:55

Yes, exactly.

SPEAKER_00 11:57

I I definitely sprinkle, sprinkle. Yep. Yep.

SPEAKER_03 12:00

Do you know about her?

SPEAKER_00 12:01

Yeah. Yeah. I um Okay, so you um you have a quote. Uh people need to be more worried about being unsuccessful than unmarried. Can you explain that for us?

SPEAKER_03 12:18

Yes. Okay. So you should be more worried about being unsuccessful than being unmarried. And I really speak to just being able to hold your own, becoming your own individual before you get into a relationship.

SPEAKER_00 12:31

Why is that important?

SPEAKER_03 12:32

For me, maybe it's a form of protection. I uh shared how my mom was a single mom of four, right? And I observed firsthand how difficult that life is. And it almost seemed unfair. She was doing all this by herself. And for me, it's that I don't want to put myself in that position. I want to make sure that, you know, I have a career that I if I ever were to become a single parent, that it wouldn't be as difficult as it was for my mom. Um, and so I like to put some context to it because I'm sure as a guy, like you hear a girl say that and it's like, oh, she's just bad bitch, boss bitch, energy, she don't need no man. And it's that's not what I'm saying. So the context to it is like being being able to become your own individual and um, you know, being able to be supportive to the man so that way, like eventually that we can build a life together. It we always talk about what's what are you bringing to the table, right? Like we want to build this table together, we want to build the chairs, we want whatever. And then eventually maybe I can be a stay-at-home mom, where um if things hit the fan, I know that I ain't new to this. I know how to hustle, that I can step up if I need to. That's that's the partnership, right?

SPEAKER_00 13:47

What is super interesting to me about your answer is to hear you mention about supporting a man and building together. Whereas, yes, men ask, what do you bring to the table? A woman like you bringing that up is interesting because we can clearly see everything that you're bringing to the table, from your businesses to how you carry yourself, everything, right? A lot of women, I feel like, are saying, I deserve this and that. And it's not clear to the guy what they bring to the table, right? Got it. So it's it's like the the level of humbleness that that that that you that that was in that answer. Is that a word? Humbleness? Yes. Yeah. No what I'm trying to do.

SPEAKER_03 14:25

I always say humble no matter what, like in any capacity. I I think like there's always room to grow. And it's like, you know, I I'm okay with like 50-50 proportionate to like the significant other's income. But I think you talk about like, oh, I have a job. It's clear like what you bring, because like, but then again, at the same time, a man can has that. They have a job. They have society, like, you know.

SPEAKER_00 14:47

No, but but your your mindset is very different from uh other women that I know. Because yes, that is that is true. I I think men would look at a woman like you and intrinsically know I better step up, I I better produce because she does she doesn't need me at all. Whereas uh other women, where it's like we're looking, okay, well, you have a job, you have a sugar diet taking care of you. Like, how are you even getting by? And then now you're you're telling me that may have, you know, whatever I have, but you're demanding all this stuff from me. Well, what what am I get for for providing you everything that you asked for? And so I just I just feel like the like your mindset, I like the mindset should be like flipped. Like that's that's kind of what I I feel would be appropriate, but it's it's it's interesting for for me to to hear you talk like that. Cause I feel like for you, like, do you in in your dating history, have you had issues with men um being chivalrous, like bringing flowers, opening doors? Do you do you find that that's an issue?

SPEAKER_03 15:49

Well, I think so. Me and my friends, right? Like they have their father figure in their group where they they learn that as the standard. Okay for me, like that was never a standard. I didn't have a father in my life. I have brothers that took care of me.

SPEAKER_01 16:03

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 16:04

Um, and so it doesn't bother me if someone doesn't open the door.

SPEAKER_00 16:08

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 16:10

Wow, the answer you're giving, I am like shocked.

SPEAKER_00 16:12

Oh, I'm like, wow, okay, but I understand where you're coming from though.

SPEAKER_03 16:14

But I do love a gentleman, right? Like that will open doors. It's not something uh I'll have to like stay outside until the door is open. I I think there's a capacity. Like we're on a date, like love, love that, pull out the chair, pull in the chair, like open the doors and you know, pick me up or whatever that is. But I think it's really depends. And like I don't like to knock on anybody who wants that.

SPEAKER_01 16:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 16:40

It's I had this conversation with somebody else about Ubers. Like, they wanted me to pay for the Uber to come. It's like, why can't you pay for their own Uber? And I said, Well, in my friend group, they can pay for their own Uber. It's just the principle of like, hey, like you ask me on a date, right? You take care of the transportation or you send the limit, whatever that is. And then I have some friends who do have that standard because they're that was how they were raised, right? As the man opening the door. So like I don't knock that as being the standard for some women.

SPEAKER_00 17:12

Well, listen, going back to staying outside, my mom used to do that to me when I was growing up as a kid. If I didn't open the door for my mom, she would stay outside and fold her arms and stare at me. Like, you're gonna come out here to open this door. And that's that's why it's a habit for me, right? So it just depends on your uh upbringing. But yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:27

Shout out to your mom.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

Oh, yeah. And and she'll she'll wait. She'll she she will not come inside. Yeah. But I get it now. Like she was trying to like at some point when you're older, you're gonna be out here dating. This is how you treat a woman. And that that was her way to teach me, right?

SPEAKER_03 17:40

That's awesome.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

Okay, so what do you say to women that may feel pressured to get married and that feel that they're behind because they're not married? What would you say to them?

SPEAKER_03 17:52

I mean, I'm not married yet. So I mean, something I say to myself is that the goal is to be a person with character, morals, life, career, all of that. To be a person that is tracks a life partner because the goal is to find a life partner. Marriage is the product of that, and that is my belief. So for me is that you know, are you happy with where your life is at now? And especially if you are focused on your success and your own um aspects of you know what fulfills you as an individual person, then you would be ready to attract that next person. Um, so I just again going back to that quote, being more worried about being unsuccessful than being unmarried because you will get some fulfillment through other things and then find your person. And I truly believe that. So, you know, I I do dislike the societal pressures of getting married and you know, you get in friend groups at this age, you're everyone's getting married, right? So um I think it's just being able to hold your own and knowing that like your time will come and hopefully you don't feel pressure to get married because then you can end up in sticky situations.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

Yeah. And I love what you're saying. I think it's very important to build a life that you love single because you you limit the risk of a relationship and you always have something to go back to.

unknown 19:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

So that way, if you get in a in a relationship, it's a net positive.

SPEAKER_01 19:16

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:16

A lot of people get into relationships and they're they're afraid to be alone again. And because it's backward. They jump into a relationship before they built themselves up first, right? Yeah. And so uh the last thing you want to do is be stuck and relying on other people for you know your housing or your money or whatever. Yeah because then it can be man it can be weaponized against you.

SPEAKER_03 19:33

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 19:34

That's what you don't want.

SPEAKER_03 19:35

A hundred percent. Like, you know, having your own career income, it allows you discernment. So like let's say you're in a relationship and I a girl is in a relationship with a man she was financially dependent on, but he was being disrespectful or cheating or whatever, you know, there is more pressure for her to stay. Like if she had a career, I sure there would be more confidence in leaving that situation. So uh there's more discernment there too.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

Yeah. Yeah, totally agree. Um, do you believe your professional success makes dating easier or harder for you?

SPEAKER_03 20:12

I think this goes back to the question of like, you know, are you looking for someone as successful as you, or does it have to be on the same level or higher? And I was thinking about this, and I'm like, well, I've dated executive later level, I've dated blue-collar workers. For me, it's all about ambition.

SPEAKER_01 20:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:29

And ambition is not normal. I was talking to my friend about this. Like, for me, I'm busy every day. I'm working every single day and I'm doing something. And so let's again talk about success/slash finances, right? If I'm with a guy who is making more income than me, but not working as much, I know in my head I'm working more right now, physically, because he's already done what he has to do to make the income he needs to take care of us eventually, right? Until we're married, like then we can bring money home for being a stay-at-home mom, whatever. But if I'm working every day and you are not, and you are not making as much money as me, then there's a reason. There's that discrepancy. I'm making more because I'm physically working more. I'm doing something, right? And so that's where the resentment comes in, where the relationship doesn't work. For me, I'm out about town. Nobody really knows I'm a dentist because I don't carry myself in that way. I don't carry myself like I'm better than you or whatever it may be. I'm just feeling like a regular person, um, like a girl in town. Like I feel like in the dating world, like I'm just feeling like a regular girl with a job, right? I'm not coming to this as like I'm a doctor, a boss, and whatever. Um, but it really depends on their ambition level. And so because ambition is not normal, that's what it makes it hard to harder to date. Like the dating pool is smaller.

SPEAKER_00 21:59

Yeah.

unknown 22:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:00

I think that's that's a great answer. And yeah, I can I can definitely see if if you're put in in the work um and then you come home to someone that's that's less ambitious, less ambitious and making less, I mean, who wouldn't be r a little r resentful?

SPEAKER_03 22:14

Yeah. I mean, I guess I don't know if the rules change. Like for you as the woman, like if they're not doing as much and they're not making as much, does that matter to you? I think for me as like a woman versus to man, like that matters.

SPEAKER_00 22:27

Um it's different from a man's point of view because men are expected to lead and provide. And most men, well, I'm gonna speak for for myself, we we relish that. We we want to do that. So I'm not necessarily looking for my woman to be out here fighting traffic and going to an office every day and and working, right? Yeah. I'm grinding, I'm I have multiple businesses, I'm doing what I need to do so that when I meet my woman, she can do what she wants. If you want to work, then you can work. If you want to be a stay-at-home, you can do whatever. You want to start a you know, Pilates studio or something. Whatever you want to do, we're we're good because I'm I'm here and you can count on me, right? So it's it's a little different uh my mindset. Um, but that's because a man's job is to provide.

SPEAKER_03 23:06

I agree with that. You know, I agree with that. And just like you said, like where you're like, oh, somebody would meet you and be like, oh, I need to step up to the plate. I think whoever you date as a man, like they should make you want to be a millionaire to, you know, take care of your girl. So, and if you're not moving that way, then that's where it becomes problematic.

SPEAKER_00 23:25

I I love that. And and that sounds amazing. Um, that that hasn't been the experience that I've seen. But no, I I agree. Yeah. Um, you, you know, ideally, your woman is supportive and inspiring. Um, but if if she's not, um, then that that shouldn't get you off of the path that you're on as a man. You should want to be the best version of yourself. Yes. Uh so some guys don't some guys, you know, prefer to, you know, play video games or whatever. And I'm not knocking that, but I think that most men that at least I'm around or who I try to be like, it's like, no, we're trying to make an impact and make a difference. And I want women to look at me and be like, okay, the life you're you're building, I want to be a part of that.

SPEAKER_03 24:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 24:04

And that that's the ultimate goal, you know?

SPEAKER_03 24:05

I think it's also difficult because everyone's level of success is different, right? And so again, like I'm saying, ambition is not normal. And my low my version of success is like always do more.

SPEAKER_01 24:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 24:18

Retire my mom. We my my life is good, my whole family life needs to be good as well. Like, I'm not gonna be the only one driving a nice car.

SPEAKER_01 24:26

Exactly.

SPEAKER_03 24:26

But there are some of like in my friend circle that if they just have that nine to five job, two weeks PTO, that's their level of success. And again, that's no knocking that, and they we have full understanding of like this is my vision of like I'm always gonna keep going.

SPEAKER_00 24:44

Right, right. I love that. What do you think men most misunderstand about a woman like you?

SPEAKER_03 24:50

I think they think that I'm coming into this, like, you need to do X, Y, Z, this, that, and the third, and you need to buy me all these gifts. And the nice thing is that I get it myself. If I want something nice, I have the capacity that I can get it myself. And really what I'm looking for is the way you treat me, right? To me, I feel very blessed that you can't throw money in my face. It's not gonna change how I think about you. Um, and sometimes I feel like that's a little corny. Like, yeah, you know, what else can you do as a man in providing for like my my emotional side, the support side. Are you also helping me with my businesses? Like, can we really partner and collaborate on different things? I think that's important.

SPEAKER_00 25:34

Yeah. Well, listen, I am thoroughly surprised by your answers today. I the the level of of humbleness. Um, because yeah, I I didn't think you would answer like that, but I I do I'm I love to hear it. Because you're you're giving you're giving all men hope for like humanity right now, the way you're answering. Like this is this is amazing. Um, okay. Um, what does a man need to show for you to take him seriously?

SPEAKER_03 26:01

Communication, I know, is always like something that's being said. Communication, okay. But consistent, right? You know, I think a good example is like, hey, I can't make it because this happened. And I'm getting a full explanation versus uh ghosting. Yeah. Like, I don't want to talk to you anymore. Or just tell me. Like, I'm the type of person, even my professional world, my personal world, I'm gonna tell you.

SPEAKER_01 26:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 26:22

Whatever is going on. You wanna know exactly where I stand with you. And so, like, I just don't believe in ghosting. Um, somebody who is like plans dates who is consistent with the in-person. Like, I don't want to pen pal. Right? We can chit chat or whatever, but let's meet in person. I think that's important. Um, and like I hate saying this, but like you know, I feel that I'm a lover girl, so it's like, well, like show me you like me, you know. Actions are speak louder than words. And for me, another brother's word is that emotional availability. Like everyone's saying that. But what does that mean? And to me, it's that if I am concerned, if I'm upset about a situation, then you have the capacity to take feedback and listen to me, um, and not like reject it or dismiss me or even like feel like, okay, let's talk about it versus all right, you go, you go coping with it over there and you come back when you feel better. You know, that's something that I feel like if you can't talk through a situation or emotion with me, then we're never gonna get along.

SPEAKER_00 27:31

Yeah. I love that. Um, what about, and this reminds me, um, what about exclusivity? I I had a post where I asked, in an effort to be honest, if a guy told you that he's seen multiple women and you commented, they can have you, fuck out of here. Yeah. I was like, okay. I was not expecting to be on the podcast. Oh, okay. So exclusivity is important to you as well.

SPEAKER_03 27:57

Yes, I think you were like, what's one thing you would eliminate? And that's the roster. Yeah. Like, please, like, I'm gonna get canceled, but can we get rid of the roster? Like, okay, to me, is I know I get told you're putting all your eggs in one basket, but I want to figure out if this person is right for me. And I'm gonna like figure, you know, within the week or two, if they're not giving me the same energy, then I know, right? Like, hey, all right, then I'm gonna talk to the next person. I don't know. I just yeah, exclusivity is very important.

SPEAKER_00 28:26

Okay, love that. Okay, so now I want to talk about DMs.

SPEAKER_03 28:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

DMs are everyone is just one DM away.

SPEAKER_03 28:36

Right. And shoot your shot.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

A lot of men, yeah. Shoot, shoot your shot. I can't imagine some of the DMs that you get. So I'm just wondering, would you be, would you mind sharing some of your DMs with us on the podcast?

SPEAKER_03 28:49

Okay. We're gonna go through it, and then why don't we do this? I'll read you the DM and then you're gonna rate it like one to ten. Like as a guy, like, okay, he did good there, he did not get there, and then I'll tell you my feedback.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

Okay. Um I love it.

SPEAKER_03 29:00

But I would say these are all the DMs that I did not respond to. Or like, I don't, to me, it's like the only way I'm gonna respond to a DM is like if I met you in person or I knew you through mutually, or we have something in common.

SPEAKER_00 29:12

Like, I just think what if you haven't met him, but you've got like 10 mutual followers? Does that count?

SPEAKER_03 29:18

I would go through all those mutual followers and ask him, like, what's up? Is this your dude? Like, what's up with your boy? Like, that's what I would do. But I I think that would be like um, I don't know. I'm a very like also shy person. I'm very old school. Like, I want to meet you in person. That's why I can't do dating apps. And so, like the DMs for me is already an extended uh thing, but I have already had to meet you in person for a DM to even work.

SPEAKER_00 29:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 29:46

So there was one funny one. I was doing, um, I did a selfie in the gym, and somebody was like, dang, you came like so fine in there.

SPEAKER_00 29:57

Even that kettlebell wants to pick you, wants so like you posted a story or something and he was responding to your story? Yes. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:05

So what do you think about that one? I laughed. I laughed.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

I think anytime he can make you laugh, I think that's a win.

SPEAKER_02 30:11

Okay, I agree. Laughing is important for sure.

SPEAKER_00 30:13

But I'm he used, he used the context of what you were doing. It's not a copy and paste message.

SPEAKER_03 30:18

I will say that was creative. 10 for creativity because like you're right, but I didn't respond.

SPEAKER_00 30:26

Okay, but a shout out to that guy though, because that that's good. You he he he paid attention. He he he crafted a message solely specifically to you.

SPEAKER_03 30:34

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 30:35

And he made you laugh. So I mean, that's all you can ask for.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

Honestly, like I would say laughing, like that's something that is a good introduction, a good first impression. That's what you were you were talking about. Um, is like if you can make me laugh and like come at me like you want to get to know me versus like come at me like you want to date me, like, oh, you you helify me. Like thank you. I mean, yeah, that's it. Very dry, thank you. That's yeah. You know what I'm saying? It's like you actually want to get to know me as a person versus like going straight to like I want to date you.

SPEAKER_00 31:04

Yeah, okay. Makes sense. For all the men watching, please take notes.

SPEAKER_03 31:07

I got a DM. I'm so in love with you. Crying emoji.

SPEAKER_00 31:10

No, that that that can't be highly rated by you.

unknown 31:13

No, no.

SPEAKER_02 31:14

I'm just going through these options. No.

SPEAKER_00 31:16

Okay. That on a scale, what's the scale? One to ten? That's a one for me. She's already laughing. She can't even get it out.

SPEAKER_02 31:24

I'm laughing because it's like uh it's it's ridiculous. You know you find my God.

SPEAKER_00 31:30

No, no, that that's a one. He's he's doing literally what you just said. Don't do. That's not I want to get to know you. That's listen, I'm trying to like go from A to Z in one in one DM. That's not gonna work.

SPEAKER_03 31:42

Uh be mine. Sad face.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

No, sad face?

unknown 31:46

No.

SPEAKER_03 31:47

Uh tear face.

SPEAKER_00 31:50

That's it.

SPEAKER_03 31:50

Just be mine. Respond to the story.

SPEAKER_00 31:54

No, I don't I don't agree with this, guys.

SPEAKER_03 31:56

There's also ones like, oh, I want to ask a dental question.

SPEAKER_00 31:59

Stop, because you you know, you know that's right. Yeah, I already know.

SPEAKER_03 32:01

Like, no.

SPEAKER_00 32:02

You're very he's trying to think about it, but like, yeah, that's not gonna work. You can see right through that.

SPEAKER_03 32:07

Yeah. Why don't you have a ring on your finger? You're so beautiful. Don't piss me off.

SPEAKER_00 32:14

Yeah. You you did more harm than good there. Well, that guy was well intentioned, just just the wrong execution.

SPEAKER_03 32:22

Sure. Okay, I'll take it. Um look, I told myself a thousand times not to do it, but shoot or shoot, you have to be the most gorgeous woman I've ever seen, crying emoji.

SPEAKER_00 32:33

Uh I'll give that like a four, but that can be copy and pasted to hundreds of chicks, though. Like that that that's not that's not solely crafted to you.

SPEAKER_03 32:41

It was feeling like he was trying to be genuine, but again, like I've never met you before. And it's yeah, it's just objectively coming off as creepy.

SPEAKER_00 32:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 32:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

Are you how much credit are you? Are you going to these guys' profiles and looking, like, are you verified? What's your job? Are you trying to like do any of that? Or are you just purely looking at the message?

SPEAKER_03 32:57

Yeah, no. Okay. I have to meet you. And again, if they're sometimes they're DMing me because we have mutuals, it's like, okay, at that point, then you should have asked your mutuals to do the link.

SPEAKER_00 33:08

Do something. Okay. Um, hold on, wait, how would that work? So, like you you would you want the guy to reach out to a mutual and be like, hey, let's all go and do something like that.

SPEAKER_03 33:16

Like a friendly thing. I'm all about like, let's do a friendly nonchalant.

SPEAKER_00 33:19

But but then he'd have to tell his mutual, hey, I'm I'm into your friend over here. And that that's the the the the the middle woman, she it it's gonna get that takes a very selfless woman to to set set that up. I feel like most, I feel like most guys will never do that.

SPEAKER_03 33:37

That's interesting because my friend circle, I feel like we're very like, yeah, but they're your they're your friends, though.

SPEAKER_00 33:44

Yeah. From from a imagine a man coming in. Let's let's just okay, let's put you in this spot. Okay. Let's let's imagine random random guy that that's you know, maybe a friend saying, Hey, your your friend is beautiful. I want I want to get get to know her. Can you arrange an event so all of us can come out so that I can talk to your friend? Would would you set that up?

SPEAKER_03 34:02

I've had that before because I do have beautiful friends. And so I text her as like, like, let's go to their restaurant or whatever. So I mean, it's never been in the actual like out the group chat, but I've done that before of like, hey, like, hey, this guy's interested in you, why not? And then she can then be like, no girl, da da da. I'm like, you know, it's if I call you a friend and I'm like, yo, this other friend wants to talk to you. Like, if I call your friend, I feel like that's already a good, good level of entry.

SPEAKER_00 34:33

I I feel like that's amazing karma, and that's gonna come back around to you, and you're you're gonna get everything that you want because that that's amazing.

SPEAKER_03 34:40

Uh somebody said I'm goaded. Take care of yourself though.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Okay, one. Yeah, so so so the the guy said I'm I'm so he's basically saying I'm I'm the greatest guy of all time.

SPEAKER_03 34:53

Oh no, I'm goaded. You're goaded. Oh, you're goaded. Sorry, you're gonna.

SPEAKER_00 34:56

Okay. Uh I just I didn't say I the first one was by far the best.

SPEAKER_03 35:01

Yeah, but like it's I wish I someone was like, damn, that's crazy. And I was like, I only want to respond because I want to know your pickup line.

SPEAKER_00 35:11

So he only said damn that's crazy. Okay, I like this one.

SPEAKER_03 35:14

I was like, I didn't respond because I was like, I was like, you ain't gonna get a response because I know this is a trap, but I only want to respond because I want to know what that pickup line is. You know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_00 35:25

9.5. That that's a good because wait, what's crazy? Yeah, that's that that's very that's what you gotta do. Well, it's outside the box.

SPEAKER_03 35:33

It reminds me of um who's that guy who got in trouble uh by that influencer girl because he broke her leg or something, that football player who's like uh Tyree Hill. Tyreek Hill. And he was like, that's a lie. And she's like, What's a lie? He's like, You're not 6'1, and then that's how it all started. That's how it all started. So that's what it reminded me of. I was like, no, I'm not trying to break no legs.

SPEAKER_00 35:55

But but the the lesson there is even Tyree Hill can't just be like, hey, you're you're bad, you're thick. Even Tyree Hill has to creative, create. A pro athlete worth a hundred million dollars can't just come in there and be like, hey, I'm Tyree Hill coming out. That won't work. Okay. Um that was very educational. I appreciate you. Very educational. If the guy watching deserves a thank you, that is access you will never get. That you will never ever get that access. Probably in your life. A lot of men you will never have a woman read you live what other men are saying.

SPEAKER_03 36:28

Now you just gotta uh you need to just start asking the girls that come because I'm sure like this should be a uh a segment on every show.

SPEAKER_00 36:34

Yeah, for sure. For sure. I love this. And I'll I'll give you your your credit. Maybe I could name it after you. Maybe this this segment, I'll be like, hey, this segment is sponsored by Dr. DMs.

SPEAKER_02 36:43

Dr. DMs.

SPEAKER_00 36:44

Exactly. Okay, love that. Okay, a couple more questions here. Um, are there any physical traits that you would prioritize in a potential partner? Height, um, look, um, how they dress. What are certain traits that are your non-negotiables?

SPEAKER_03 37:03

My friend had asked me, like, what is your type? I'm like, they got a job.

SPEAKER_00 37:07

Wow. But like You were giving so much hope to all men out there within Yang.

SPEAKER_03 37:12

I've dated, you know, uh pretty much like all races. Okay. Um, except Asian, I guess.

SPEAKER_00 37:19

You haven't dated Asian.

SPEAKER_03 37:22

I'm just thinking about that right now. But I've dated um all races. I'm a long-term relationship girly, so I have like not had a lot of lot of dates, but I feel like that's good. Yeah. So I I feel like tall.

SPEAKER_00 37:37

How tall? Over six feet?

SPEAKER_03 37:40

Yeah. Um, so you know, I feel like I don't have really any traits except like their be six foot and have a job. No, that's not me.

SPEAKER_00 37:51

Uh-oh.

SPEAKER_03 37:52

But I've dated short people, shorter. I'm five two. You can't really go short, like for me.

SPEAKER_01 37:57

I you know what I'm saying?

SPEAKER_03 37:59

So I guess I don't really have a height requirement. Um, but yeah, I do want them to have their own career and be able to take care of themselves. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 38:08

Be aspirational.

SPEAKER_03 38:09

Yes. And that's to me, that's more important than anything, and have a personality. Because a lot of guys will come with money and like have no personality. And you know, like you see that with a lot of celebrities too.

SPEAKER_00 38:19

Have you experienced that um where a guy is super successful, maybe exec executive or a pro athlete or something that you've dated and you're like, this isn't everything that it's cracked up to be.

SPEAKER_03 38:30

I wouldn't say like dated, but I've been around those people just in terms of like hanging out and chilling and kicking it, but never like seriously, but they're like, This is an intentional date. Um, and I've seen that where they can't hold a conversation.

SPEAKER_01 38:45

Wow.

SPEAKER_03 38:46

Yeah. Because they haven't been through like if they've been in money all their life, everything's been handed to them.

SPEAKER_01 38:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 38:54

So they never really had to do any struggles of like, you know, for me, I've been in sales. So you talk about I'm good with my words, I'm a good speaker, whatever. I'd done retail for like seven years, became a dental assistant. So because I had to get out of the mud, like I've been through different jobs and had to work with different people.

SPEAKER_00 39:09

Okay. Okay. Um how does a man show what he can offer to a woman like you without coming off as narcissistic or cocky?

SPEAKER_03 39:20

I saw that question. I was like, man, that's like that's interesting. Again, I go back to actions, speak louder than words. But for me, I look for also generosity and not generosity towards me. I want to see how you treat your friends, your family, how you're talking about them. Um, because I'm the type of person that I go out to dinner and I want to take care of my friends. Like I want, I'll take care of the bill, especially if people are coming in town, things like that. Like I want to cover. Um, and so I would like to see that in a guy as well.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 39:50

You know, I had dated a guy and I was like, oh, I needed to get her a birthday present, but I'm busy today. Can you go find something? And he finds a Judith Lieber passport for my best friend. I'm like, that's perfect, literally perfect. But what that was a $600 gift. And so to me, that spoke to the generosity he's willing to have for my people and that I'm going to reciprocate for his people too. So it's not just like are you spending your money on me, but are you willing to not just money, but your time and energy, how you talking to people, how you talking about people, are you able to talk to the gender the same way you're talking to, you know, this high-level executive and all of those things matter to me. And I would say like those things matter to me in the workplace as well. Like so I'm very in terms of like how I am in one area is how I am in other areas too.

SPEAKER_00 40:39

For sure. For sure. I love that. Okay. Last question. If you could change one thing about modern dating, what would it be?

SPEAKER_03 40:48

I we had mentioned it. I wanted to remove the roster. I you tell me, like, what what are your thoughts about the roster?

SPEAKER_00 40:58

I okay, listen, I'm gonna be completely honest with you. Um, I think that and this is gonna sound bad, but I think that women should not have a roster. Even though it's it's hard not to because women are being approached. Women women can just be minding her business and a guy initiates the the interaction, whether it be a DM or you're out at Whole Foods or whatever a guy who comes up to you, right? As a guy, I want to be at least able to tell myself I'm the only man that she's talking to. But I want to say that I gotta be worth being the only guy talking to. That's why I feel like aspirational men work so hard because I can't expect you to not entertain other men and then I myself, it, I'm not your best option. So that's why I think that men who think like me were trying to be successful, rich, funny, smart, strong, tall, everything, so that you can look at me and when you know Drake DMs you or whatever, like, uh, okay, I I know you're Drake. I I I like the guy I got though.

SPEAKER_03 41:57

Okay, that's interesting you say that because I think that it I'm trying to like, to me, is uh I feel that I'm always usually dating a guy with a roster, and I can tell because I'm a good detective.

SPEAKER_00 42:08

Well, and and and you probably you probably, but I I would say men with with rosters talk to women. Like you're you're not gonna talk to a guy without a roster because he's not gonna get the the chance to to go on a date with you. Yeah. That guy works at McDonald's or what and no shoutout or no shade to McDonald's, but that guy will never be in your presence long enough to actually get a date with you.

SPEAKER_03 42:29

Okay. I mean, I feel like I've dated and then I end up finding out, oh, you're talking to other people. That's why I made that comment. I was like, oh yeah, she can have you. I ain't worried. But I would say it's like in just both ends, so like the same way you're like, I want to feel like I'm the only guy that she's talking to. I feel like I want to be the only girl that the guy is talking to as well.

SPEAKER_00 42:48

And and if if you thought any other way, I I wouldn't even want that. So as a woman, yeah, I want you to think that way.

SPEAKER_02 42:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 42:54

I want you to be like, no, don't talk to other girls. Only talk talk to me. I I love that. I don't want you to be like, okay, with like talking to all these other girls, right?

SPEAKER_01 43:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:03

But I think for men, I think that for men, you have to have a roster to find the one that you actually do love because you're not going to get as many cracks as a woman. Women can just go out there, or I'll put it like this. Rarely in my life have I been out minding my business and a woman comes up to me like, Will, you are just so amazing. Can I get your number?

SPEAKER_02 43:23

Let's manifest for you.

SPEAKER_00 43:24

Right, right, right. Right. So, like, that's that's why I think as men, you have to initiate, you have to try to create a roster to give yourself enough chances to figure out, okay, okay, I don't I don't like this girl. I thought I did, she's hot, but I don't like this girl. I actually want this one over here because you know, she's nurturing and caring. I I could she she'd be a good mother of my kids, unlike you.

SPEAKER_02 43:44

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 43:45

And there's no way to get that without experience, right? Okay. And so that just again, my personal opinion. Okay. Um, but that's why I think it's more acceptable for a men for a guy to have a roster as he's trying to find his main girl that ultimately he wants to marry and have a family. family with as opposed to a a woman because you you you can't avoid it like men if if you if you're attractive men are coming okay and and the only way they're not is if you stay at home but then they're gonna DM you and so I I don't see how you can avoid it.

SPEAKER_03 44:13

Yeah but then like you talking about guys don't have a choice but to have a roster is like but if you find if we find out then it's like you're done. Most I would say most girls.

SPEAKER_00 44:25

Most girls okay most girls there are women if if you're in my again my opinion if you're successful enough and your girl is into you enough you can you can get pretty far and she knows what you're doing.

SPEAKER_02 44:39

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:40

Well intentioned women there are some women that are just with you for you know whatever reason they don't care that you're cheating. I know for a fact that there are women that are okay with you talking to other women again not ideal.

SPEAKER_02 44:55

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 44:56

Um but yeah I I have I have you have a true statement there yes okay um now you know I I would say to women that you know you just same with me if if I found out that my hypothetical girl here was talking to another guy I'd ask myself okay what am I not providing that that guy is and I try to change it right I wouldn't just be like don't don't talk to him I'm I'm not big into forcing people to do or like making people do stuff. Yes I I I want volunteers not not hot hostages right so so I hope so so so it's it's like okay so so it's like okay if you're entertaining other men you know why and like what what what am I not providing and I need to change that right okay um but I I think that a woman may say no like if if you call me your girlfriend you're not allowed to talk to other men and she's justified in saying that but there are men like you you can say whatever you want the real key is are you gonna hold him accountable? So like if you say that and like hey we're done and he texts you two weeks from now are you gonna text him back? I feel like if a woman is into you she's gonna text you back and you're gonna come right back right okay so it's it's a lot of words.

SPEAKER_03 46:03

So much context to it again don't listen to us it's not black and white two people yeah yeah what what do we know?

SPEAKER_00 46:10

Yes exactly but no um great great question um is there is there anything else about dating that you'd want to get out there before we get out of here any other thoughts honestly I feel like we covered it we did you know you know we had a lot of banter a lot of back forth it was a great kiki I I appreciate the the DMs segment that that was an an amazing uh idea by you so I I definitely love that I I think we educated a a lot of people today um helped a lot of people out um before we get out of here can you drop your social media handle um how can people reach out to you if if they're interested in working with you in any capacity, you know, your your girls company anything like that how do people get involved?

SPEAKER_03 46:48

Absolutely I do a lot of lifestyle content as well. So I talk about being a doctor in and out of the practice. So um again I'm all for social media brand partnerships. You can find me at dr dot luluteg so doctor dotlulutang and that's TikTok and Instagram.

SPEAKER_00 47:03

And Instagram and I'll make sure I have it tagged when when I post this um super great in an interview you're you're amazing um listen if I could have like gone into a lab and created like the perfect podcast guest I would have created you because like we can talk business we can talk relationships it was great. So I appreciate you coming in of course um but and yeah this is gonna be a fire in an interview and uh that's all for now. I'm Will Scott your host Elite Level Status Podcast and we'll see you guys next time.