Health, Healing, and Long Lasting Relationships - with Guest Nina Waldman

In this episode of the Elite Level Status Podcast, I sit down with my Pilates teacher Nina Waldman for a powerful conversation about health, emotional healing, communication, and what it really takes to build a lasting relationship. 

We discuss why so many people are overstimulated, overtrained, under-rested, and disconnected from themselves, and Nina breaks down simple but powerful practices that can improve your mood, health, and mindset. 

We get into the importance of breath, gratitude, recovery, warm nourishing food in the morning, and why suppressed emotion does not disappear, it stays in the body and eventually shows up physically. 

Then we get into relationships. Nina has been married for 29 years, so I really wanted her perspective on what actually lasts. We talk about the traits people should prioritize in a partner, why your happiness is your responsibility, why so many people put too much pressure on their partner to fill a void, and why shared values, feeling safe, and strong communication matter so much more than surface-level attributes. 

She also shares some of the best marriage advice I’ve ever heard: when you’re feeling unloved by your partner, give it twofold, and the biggest mistake people make is when they try to change their partner instead of choosing the right one from the beginning. 

This was one of those conversations that gives real perspective on both wellness and love at a much deeper level. If you enjoy this episode, make sure to like, comment, subscribe, and share with someone who needs to hear this conversation.

Follow for more conversations on relationships, self-development, and becoming elite in every area of life.

Follow Nina Waldman on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/ninawaldman1/

Visit Nina's website: https://pilatesvegas.net/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast is brought to you by Elite Double Status Wines. My wine journey started with drinking cheap grocery store wines that were really acidic and gave me headaches. Then I switched to quote unquote luxury, but overpriced full-bodied wines that were really heavy and had a bad aftertaste. The inability to find the perfect wine led to the creation of elite level status wines. Elite level status wines are approachable, medium-bodied wines with great flavor and minimal aftertaste. And with me being a health conscious person, I wanted to create a wine that was lower in sugar and lower in calories than the full-bodied mass-produced wines that we always see. We currently have two wines. First is our Cabernet, has notes of blackberry, cinnamon, plum, nutmeg, and French vanilla. And we also have our rose wine. Our rose is going to be a flat, dry pink rose with subtle strawberry and raspberry flavors. Both wines are medium-bodied wines with less sugar and less calories, and they're both available on my website, elsfindwine.com. Check them out, and I hope you love it. Thanks for clicking the link and checking out the Elite Level Status Podcast. Since you're here, I have a special offer just for you. It's 15% off either of my wines. So click the link below and check them out, and I hope you enjoy the podcast. Elite Level Status Podcast, we're back again. Remember, you can always catch us on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Today's guest has helped me so much in my life. She's my Pilates teacher. Her name is Nina. Thanks for coming in.

SPEAKER_05 1:37

Well, thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here with you.

SPEAKER_01 1:39

Awesome. I love it. So, first of all, for people just getting introduced to you, who is Nina Waltman?

SPEAKER_05 1:46

I am somebody who cares very deeply about your health, your wellness, and uh balancing where people have imbalances in their lives. I've been in the Pilates wellness and fitness industry for almost 30 years now. I am passionate about teaching Pilates. I am also a life coach and a wellness retreat facilitator.

SPEAKER_01 2:09

Love that. So kind of give us your background. Like where and how did you grow up?

SPEAKER_05 2:14

Um, born and raised here in Las Vegas. My great-great-grandparents on my mother's side rode horseback through the city. That's called St. It was St. Thomas, but where Lake Mead is now. So we've been here a long time.

SPEAKER_02 2:28

Wow. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 2:30

And I wasn't always into fitness. I was kind of the the chubby kid. Really? I was. Yes. That's that's hard to believe. Not athletic, but always wanted to be. Okay. So when I was about 15 years old, uh a friend of mine at that time, he was very much into working out. And he's the one I have to thank for getting me into the gym and falling in love with uh working out.

SPEAKER_01 2:53

Okay. I love that. So was there a specific moment in your life when you realized that health had to just not be something that you just liked, but it had to become top priority for you?

SPEAKER_05 3:06

A certain point in time was probably back then when I was introduced to the gym. I mean, once you drag yourself to the gym, if you're somebody who doesn't enjoy exercise and you start to feel good, that just perpetuates and that keeps you going. It motivates you. You're releasing those, you know, those endorphins and it keeps you coming back.

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Yeah, for sure. What type of people do you feel most called to help?

SPEAKER_05 3:33

Everyone. I I love what I do. Pilates changes people's lives.

SPEAKER_03 3:40

For sure.

SPEAKER_05 3:41

It uh it balances the body where there are muscle imbalances. I worked with a lot of professional athletes. I've worked with a lot of youths at different high schools here in Las Vegas. And interestingly enough, every team that I've worked with have won the championship that year that I started working with them.

SPEAKER_00 3:59

You're a good luck charm.

SPEAKER_05 4:00

I I'd love to think of myself as a good luck charm, but it's basically Pilates keeping their body in alignment. And when the body's in proper alignment, you can prevent injury. And not only that, when the body's in proper alignment, your organs can function optimally. How many times have you looked at somebody with poor posture, being somebody who practices Pilates and you just want to help them sit up straight? I love seeing people get stronger. Um, I love seeing people come in to my studio one way, maybe they're a little stressed out. And after some breathing and stretching and strengthening at the end of the hour, they're a different person.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 4:45

I love helping everybody to answer that question. Um, when I can work with youths and teach them proper form and good habits, keep their body flexible and strong, um, I really get a kick out of that. But I also like working with the elderly.

SPEAKER_04 5:03

Right.

SPEAKER_05 5:04

My grandmother, when my husband's grandmother, when I got certified in Pilates, she was 87 years old at the time, and we were living with her, and we would come home from being out of the country, and I went through my certification. And she was this tiny little woman, and she was hunched over. And by the time she passed away at 92, she was standing upright with a straight spine. So it's never too early, and it's never too late to start moving your body or doing Pilates so long as you're under the care of a good instructor.

SPEAKER_01 5:40

Right. Right. I love that. And that's got to be so like fulfilling for you to see the transformation of all your classes.

SPEAKER_05 5:46

Oh, it's what makes me continue to do what I do. I I love it.

SPEAKER_01 5:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 5:52

I believe in it.

SPEAKER_01 5:53

What are some of the biggest health struggles you see people dealing with right now?

SPEAKER_05 5:58

Ooh. As a coach, when I get to know someone's lifestyle, I see that we're all just on all the time.

SPEAKER_03 6:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 6:12

And we wear this badge of honor of being busy, busy, busy. And we're inundated with so much information all day, every day, that we don't give our mind a break.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

This is true.

SPEAKER_05 6:24

And we don't give our bodies proper rest. A lot of people feel that, oh, I go to the gym, I work out three, four, five times. Well, that's probably too much. Not a lot of people want to hear that they're overtraining, but rest and recovery is a big, big piece of the pie. The workout's a smaller piece of the pie. So health issues, a lot of um, you know, cardiovascular health, a lot of burnout, a lot of um high cholesterol, a lot of hormone imbalance. I see, I see it all.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Yeah. Yeah. And that's that's really one of the you've taught me a lot, but one of the biggest things is that, yeah, you know, people have this badge of honor. Oh, I'm always working, I'm always busy. Well, it's like, yeah, you need some rest too. You know, you you need you need that uh alignment. You know, it's it's not all about just how much I remember the day one with you. I don't care how much like you you can lift, like it's not about that in here. And I needed, I needed somebody to to tell me that, right? But it it's all about, you know, you it has to come from someone that you respect. And I feel like everybody respects you, so they're willing to like listen and take your advice. And I think that's what makes you a great uh teacher.

SPEAKER_05 7:37

Well, back to you know, Pilates studios. I've been doing this for almost 30 years. Pilates was not popular when I first got certified. And now there's a studio on every corner.

SPEAKER_04 7:47

Yes.

SPEAKER_05 7:48

And there are a lot of write-ups about uh reckless instruction. Proper Pilates is like physiotherapy. People find it when they've already sustained an inner injury. Um Pilates is not the same as the gym. You still need to balance the body both ways, working from the inside out and in the gym, working from the outside in. I'll get uh an athlete or a marathon runner, and they're so used to high impact and they're so used to, you know, shortening and compressed, compressing, you have to encourage them to do the exact opposite of what they're doing. And sometimes they don't want to, you know, get a bodybuilder in there, he's used to throwing around heavy, heavy weight, load, load, load. You have to have balance. You have to counter with something a little bit more passive if you're doing an aggressive type workout. If people are so external and focused on their body, let's get them to go inside and work from the inside out, balance the top, bottom. Yeah. A lot of people spend so much time outside of themselves that I really enjoy helping people go inside. Quiet the mind because our minds are just busy, busy, busy.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

Yeah, for sure. What daily habits make the biggest difference in someone's health, but also their mood?

SPEAKER_05 9:06

Oh, that's a great question. Okay. When I wake up every single morning before I get out of bed, I thank God for blessing me with another day.

SPEAKER_02 9:20

Love that.

SPEAKER_05 9:21

To live, to teach, blessing my family, blessing my friends, I go through it all. And then I list five things and they change every single day. Some people have a hard time listing five things that they're thankful for or grateful for. So I have my gratitude list.

SPEAKER_02 9:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 9:35

Then I drink a tall glass of water. Those three things people don't think make a big difference. But I have people who are, you know, high performers, executives, doctors, attorneys. They wake up and oftentimes they just feel pressure immediately. So you can set the tone for your day just by listing one thing that you're grateful for. Right. Because then you're setting that tone to be positive for the day. And then we can go into nutrition. If you're not eating breakfast, people, you need to eat something. Really? Okay. You need to eat something in the morning. I always give this visual. Remember when you were a kid and you had the pinwheel on a stick and you'd blow in it and it'd spin around. That's your metabolism. That's the wheel. After you've been resting, and sleep is so important for recovery. After you've been resting, we need to wake up the metabolism.

SPEAKER_04 10:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 10:38

And preferably doing it with something warm. Okay. I know our culture calls for like cereal and yogurt and cold breakfasts. It's it's better for your body if you put something warm in it.

SPEAKER_00 10:50

Really?

SPEAKER_05 10:50

You it's proven you will consume less calories throughout the day if you nourish your body consistently. So those are just some simple things to improve your mood and improve your day.

SPEAKER_01 11:04

Okay. I I didn't realize the water when you first wake up, but also breakfast should be warm. So something cooked or like.

SPEAKER_05 11:11

I just want you eating. I if you're not eating breakfast, you need to start eating something. And preferably something healthier and nutritious.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Okay. Love that. Um, what is one simple change people can make immediately to make themselves feel better?

SPEAKER_05 11:30

Deep breaths.

SPEAKER_01 11:32

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 11:33

Your breath is your number one tool. And scientists have shared that the average human being takes 20,000 to 25,000 breaths a day. Wow. When you work with me, I want you at 30,000. Okay. So a deep breath can invigorate you because you're oxygenating your blood cells. So if you're tired, take some deep breaths. If you're stressed out, you're feeling like you're anxious, nerves, anxiety, whatever it is, stop, pause, and just take five seconds to inhale, five seconds to exhale, do it three to five times, you will feel better immediately.

SPEAKER_01 12:14

And I love that because it's so simple. It's like, hey, just breathe, people.

SPEAKER_05 12:17

It doesn't cost us anything. It's there.

SPEAKER_01 12:19

You can do it anytime.

SPEAKER_05 12:20

It's your number one tool to help relax you and invigorate you.

SPEAKER_01 12:24

Yeah, but it's something we all need to be mindful of. You know, it goes back to what you said earlier. People are just so overstimulated, busy all the time. Just take a couple seconds to breathe.

SPEAKER_05 12:33

I love the gym. I'm a gym round. Uh but when I get in the studio and I see people lie down on the reformer and I get them to connect their mind and body, it's so rewarding for them because that might be the one hour in your entire day in their day where they're focused on themselves. Right. They're there. It can't, you know, you go to the gym and in let's say I'm I'm lifting heavy or I'm doing cardio, I've got my ear pods in, I'm jamming, I need that music to motivate me. But again, I'm outside of myself. Right. When you're doing Pilates or breath work or meditation or yoga, you have to connect your mind and body. You can't cheat. So it's it's very fulfilling and therapeutic and cerebral. Right.

SPEAKER_01 13:21

I love that. Do you believe the body holds on to emotional pain? And if so, how does emotional pain show up physically?

SPEAKER_05 13:30

Yes, I I know that it holds on to emotions. Your body keeps score. And suppressed emotion doesn't disappear.

SPEAKER_02 13:42

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 13:44

And it it does manifest into illnesses and disease, um, rage, uh depression, right, breakdown, uh chronic inflammation, sleeplessness, hormone imbalance. Yes, one thousand percent.

SPEAKER_01 14:07

What are what are the best ways to heal emotional pain?

SPEAKER_05 14:11

That's a really good one. There's a lot of things that people can do. There's so much more at people's disposal than there was just 10 years ago. We've created an awareness on the importance of mental health, uh, emotional health, physical, obviously, and even spiritual. Some things, easy things for people to do. I know, guys, you you you guys, you poor people can't cry. You know, you can't get stuff out. Some guys, I have some wonderful male friends who aren't afraid to to get it out. And I'm I'm glad that they do, and I'm glad that it's becoming more acceptable. You have therapy, you have coaching, you have breath work is an amazing tool. You have journaling. Write it down. If you have a hard time talking about it, journal every day. Get it out because all of that stuff stays inside and it's poison. Yeah. Go on a retreat.

SPEAKER_03 15:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 15:07

You know, just talk to somebody. There's there's so many ways to get emotional baggage out. Otherwise, you hold that in. It's just a matter of time before it shows up and it and it really affects you adversely.

SPEAKER_01 15:20

Right. And I feel like uh the gratitude in in the morning would help with that as well. Like finding five things that you're thankful for. I feel like that that could that could also help your emotional.

SPEAKER_05 15:32

Positivity begets positivity, negativity begets negativity.

SPEAKER_01 15:38

Exactly. Okay. So now I wanna I want to shift to some relationship questions now. You uh have been married for 29 years. You have what a lot of people are trying to get to. So with this first question, as someone that's been married 29 years, what traits should people prioritize in a partner because they best translate to a long, successful relationship?

SPEAKER_05 16:02

Do you know how difficult that question is? So it's so difficult, and everybody has a different answer that when you told me that was gonna be one of the questions, yeah, what did I do? I polled my friends and my clients.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 16:21

And I want to give you some answers.

SPEAKER_00 16:25

Well, you did research just for this show. I appreciate you.

SPEAKER_05 16:29

Wow. Okay, I'm dying to hear the results. Okay. I mean, think about it. What's important to you?

SPEAKER_01 16:35

I want respect.

SPEAKER_05 16:37

That's a big one.

SPEAKER_01 16:38

I want someone that will uh is rooting for me and cheering for me and wants to see me win. I want someone that believes in what I'm building and wants to be a part of my life. Um, and I'm gonna be honest, I want someone very attractive. Um, but I think that in order to get a woman that's gonna give me all those things, I have to be a man that's that's worth giving all that to.

unknown 17:00

Oh, yes.

SPEAKER_01 17:01

And I feel like that's why, you know, I will I strive daily to be the best to check every box that I can, you know, emotionally, physically, financially, you know, I I try to track every single box because I know this this dream woman that I want, she's she's gonna have a lot of other men that want her too. So I got to get her to to pick me and not want to go with those other guys. And and I think that is something that definitely motivates me. Um but yeah, that's that's what I but I'm I'm a single guy, you know. I don't, I don't have, I don't know what it takes to have a, you know, a prolonged relationship, especially something 29 years. So that's that's why I think you're you're the perfect person to give advice on this. And now that that you've done some research too, I'm like, even better.

SPEAKER_05 17:45

This is gonna get good. This is gonna get really good. So we're gonna go back to the things that the clients shared with me and my friend shared, and then I'm gonna tell you what is most important to me.

SPEAKER_02 17:54

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 17:55

I wanna start by saying that I didn't believe in marriage.

SPEAKER_01 17:59

You didn't.

SPEAKER_05 18:00

I did not.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Wow. Okay. Because a lot of modern day, like a lot of women like that I know in in my circle, I feel like are starting to lean, go down that path too.

SPEAKER_05 18:11

My husband didn't believe in marriage.

SPEAKER_01 18:13

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 18:14

We're from divorced families.

SPEAKER_02 18:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 18:17

And I love what you said. I didn't believe in marriage, not because I come from a divorced family, but because I believed in my mind that I couldn't meet someone me but better.

SPEAKER_02 18:32

Oh, okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_05 18:34

I have an intense work ethic.

SPEAKER_02 18:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 18:38

I am intelligent. I you know, everything that I bring to the table, I knew what I was bringing to the table. I wasn't looking to fill a void thinking that if I find the perfect person, I'm going to be happy. I think that's a mistake a lot of people are making these days. You your happiness is your responsibility.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

I love that. I love that, yeah.

SPEAKER_05 19:08

It is not your partner's responsibility. We put so much more pressure on our partners these days than ever before. That expression, it takes a village. You want so many people loving your kid, right? Well, it takes a village when it comes to a marriage going in the right direction as well. Surround yourself with quality people.

SPEAKER_02 19:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 19:30

You know what you bring, Will. So you will find your equal because you won't settle for less. So going back to well, let me stay on this too. What are some reasons? I'm interviewing you now. What are some reasons you hear people want to get married?

SPEAKER_01 19:54

Um, can I can I split this into uh reasons why I hear women want to get married versus why men want to get married?

unknown 20:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

I I think that women want to get married. For one, they've they've been sold this fairy tale since they were little about okay, you're gonna get married, you're a princess, you know, night in shining, shiny armor, beautiful house, white picket fence, and all that. Um, and I think that for some re women, it's like a badge of honor to to get married and have that family, especially as it gets harder and harder to find a good partner. I feel like it is validation. I feel like, I feel like women, you you say that your own happiness is your own responsibility. I feel like a lot of women won't be happy until they find a partner and they do get and get married, which that may be flawed, but that's that's how how I interpret it. From a man's point of view, what men want is family. You want a wife, you want kids, but you want respect in your own home too. You don't want to come home, you've been grinding all day at work. You don't want to come home and be disrespected by your wife, disrespected by by your kids. Um, you want to come home and be the king within your house, but you know your kids look up to you, want to be, want to be just like you. Your wife adores you and respects you and supports you. I think that most men truly want that. A lot of guys have to act tough. Um, and especially when when they gotta maybe that they've been hurt, maybe finding a woman that they can trust is difficult. But I think deep down, I feel like most men don't really want to be like, you know, players and and all that. But I I think you resort to that, you get hurt once or twice, or you hear these horror stories on social media or whatever, or you see like what happens to like, you know, some celebrities, and you're like, okay, well, I don't want that to happen to me, so I'm I'm gonna go the uh the other way. Um but I think like both sides want a strong family. I ideally, it's just getting harder and harder. And so Social media, and all that doesn't help.

SPEAKER_05 22:01

That's limited thinking. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:03

Yeah, true. But I I do think both sides ultimately want the same thing. And I think that's why it's important to have these com conversations. Um, so that people can hear, like, wow, okay, men, you know, men still do want to get married, women still do want to want to get married.

SPEAKER_05 22:19

Men need women. Women need men.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

I couldn't agree more.

SPEAKER_05 22:25

My husband is the king and I am the queen.

SPEAKER_01 22:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:29

And don't get married unless you've been with that person for a couple of years.

SPEAKER_02 22:36

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 22:37

Uh don't get married because you want to have a kid. Don't get married because you want a big wedding. Don't get married for financial reasons, you know, uh tax breaks, health benefits. Those are not reasons to marry someone. And when you You know what dopamine is.

SPEAKER_02 22:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 22:52

All right. So dopamine wears off after a couple years. We were actually the two who didn't believe in marriage, making wedding plans three months into our relationship. But I knew about dopamine back then, and I said we're not going to get married for two years. Then I added an extra year for safety. And the other thing is, I know not everybody has the same beliefs as I do, but live with the person before you say I do.

SPEAKER_02 23:21

I agree.

SPEAKER_05 23:22

That is so important. And if you're constantly, not constantly, continuously dedicated to healing from wounds, if you're continuously trying to improve who you are, you will automatically draw in the perfect partner. Oftentimes people, I don't know how do I say this? Oftentimes people get in a situation where they're dating somebody and they get stuck. Don't even allow yourself to get stuck. I mean, if the respect isn't there, and we'll start with the respect, you take somebody out on a date, and she seems amazing. But the server comes over and she belittles the server. That tells you a lot about her character. For sure. Look for character. A lot of people are looking at what car did they drive up in, what shoes are they wearing, what what jewelry do they have, what job title do they have? Those aren't the things that are going to keep you married for a long time.

SPEAKER_04 24:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 24:35

Respect is a big one. Trust was another one. Um, understanding is important because you do compromise when you're in a in a relationship. Uh, another one, commitment. Are you committed? If you're dating and it's just fun, that's different. But we're talking relationship, we're talking marriage. Um there were so many that people said trust and respect were a big one. You have to align morally, you have to share the same values, otherwise, it's not gonna last.

SPEAKER_02 25:09

For sure.

SPEAKER_05 25:10

So mine has always been communication, and that was a big one. But then you asked me this question, and it really got my wheels spinning after listening to everybody's answers, and I changed my answer.

SPEAKER_02 25:21

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 25:22

It's still communication still lies in this.

SPEAKER_02 25:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:26

I have to feel safe.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 25:30

And in feeling safe, if you ask me a question about I don't know, in the bedroom, how was that?

SPEAKER_04 25:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 25:40

And I can't answer honestly without you taking it wrong or getting defensive, you just taught me that I can't have honest open communication with you. So there's that communication. If I'll I'll give you a little history. I've been on my own, resilient and responsible since I was 15 because my mother was addicted to gambling. Okay. So I could never be with a partner who gambled. Okay. Because then that triggers something in me that I'm not going to be safe, my home's going to go. So thankfully, my husband doesn't gamble.

SPEAKER_03 26:19

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 26:19

Um, that makes me feel safe. Okay. Uh, what else? You know, protection. Men are supposed to protect their women, not like we can't protect ourselves because I'm a tough cookie, but you know what I mean? So mine shifted from communication. I have to feel safe communicating with you. I have to feel safe financially. We're gonna be secure, we're gonna be okay. And I have to feel safe in every other way, too.

SPEAKER_01 26:42

Okay. Stand on that is are are are there specific actions that men can take, especially early in in their relationship, to demonstrate or to help a woman feel safe? Or does it just call it?

SPEAKER_05 26:59

Presence is a big one. I mean, in this digital age, everyone is so distracted. They're looking down. What is sexy? Eye contact.

SPEAKER_02 27:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:10

You I know you've got me. If you're just looking at me, I'm automatically feeling safe. Okay. You know, presence. Sometimes I have to tell my husband, your forehead looks really good, babe.

SPEAKER_01 27:22

He knows what that means. Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:25

So uh some things men can do. I mean, presence, being there. Be a man of your word, impeccable with your word. That's a big one.

SPEAKER_01 27:34

Okay. What about I understand safety. What about little things men can do to make a woman happy?

SPEAKER_05 27:41

Talking a little bit. Remember, happiness is my job.

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Wow. Okay. And that's that's really It's not your job to make me happy.

SPEAKER_05 27:49

Wow. Some things you can do to be romantic. I love that after all these years, 32 years, my husband still brings me flowers.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 27:58

I'm a f I I'm not a big like I need anything, but we can count on each other. We are a well-tuned machine. I mean, if I need help with anything at the house, he does it. If he needs help, we're very helpful. That's a big thing in a partner. Um you'll learn what she likes. She'll learn what you like. And you'll start doing those things. You know the love languages, right? You'll learn each other's love language. My husband is not um materialistic. I like nice things. I didn't have a lot of nice things growing up, so I do like nice things. So buying him a present, a watch, or it's not going to really do it for him.

SPEAKER_03 28:48

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 28:49

Um, affection, you know, checking in, uh, having his back. You have to have your partner's back, and they have to know that you have each other's back.

SPEAKER_01 28:59

I love that. I love that. Do you think your personal health affects the type of relationship you attract?

SPEAKER_05 29:07

Yes. What did you say earlier? You wanted an attractive woman.

SPEAKER_01 29:10

I did say that.

SPEAKER_05 29:11

Why is that important? Because you have something to deliver. Yeah. I vowed that I would try my best when we got married to look not the same, but take care of myself for the rest of our lives. That I do for me. But yeah, that I want my partner to find me attractive. I don't want to look totally different 30 years later than the day that he married me. That's like a bait and switch.

SPEAKER_01 29:41

Yeah, for sure. You know, I agree, but you hear like, oh, Tildah do us part no matter what. And I I that's something where I'm like, we like both sides should continuously try to continue to court each other, continuously try to be your best.

SPEAKER_05 29:53

Romantic. Date each other. Yeah, date each other. That's why it's I mean, I you have to be sexual sexually compatible. And a lot of people don't talk about that. You you have to have that. You have to have fun together, you have to date, you have to keep the romance alive. And I would be lying to the entire audience if I said we've never had a valley. Well, yeah, it happens. But the best marital advice we were given. So my husband's Jewish and I'm Catholic, which goes to show you love is love. Yeah. Love is not a race, love is not a religion, love is love. We I had, you know, I had to get married in a church. That was just my upbringing. And we were living in Israel. He was playing basketball at that time, and we couldn't do the classes at the church. So we had to drive from Jerusalem to Tel Aviv 45 minutes once a week for 10 weeks and meet with this ordained rabbi. And we went through all these questions, and you know, that type of stuff before you say I do is very helpful. You have to talk about all kinds of things. And you should. We were done with our 10th session, and he was basically saying goodbye to us. You did great. Congratulations, you're getting married. And I said, Well, let me ask you what's the best advice that you can give us? You've been married for 25 years. And he said, Nobody's ever asked me that. I said, Well, think about it. He thought about it. He called me and he said, I don't even teach this to people. But you got me thinking. And the answer is when you're feeling unloved by your partner, give it twicefold. Will, that has been fail-proof after 32 years. Again, put it on you. Don't put it on your partner. So many people are waiting. What can you do for me?

SPEAKER_01 31:47

Exactly.

SPEAKER_05 31:48

Don't be that person. Be a better partner.

SPEAKER_01 31:51

Well, I tell you what, I've never heard heard that, but that makes all the sense in the world.

SPEAKER_05 31:55

It's a no-brainer, but sometimes it's hard to do because our ego gets in the way. Like, why am I gonna do that? He hasn't been doing this, she hasn't been doing that. It's fell proof.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

Wow. I love that. Um I want to go back to communication real quick. If if your partner, you can tell that their energy is off, they're they're in a bad mood for some reason, you can't figure it out. Is it better to try to force them to talk and open up to you, or is it better just to let them come to you when they're ready?

SPEAKER_05 32:26

Both.

unknown 32:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_05 32:28

Again, you establish a way that you two communicate.

SPEAKER_02 32:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:34

There's gonna be a push and a pull.

SPEAKER_02 32:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 32:37

What I refuse, I take the temperature in our household. What I refuse is to allow a cold war to happen between myself and any relationship that I'm in. That's not going to get you anywhere. You have to know when to leave your partner alone. And then you ask in return, is it me or is it something that has nothing to do with me? Because then I know. Great question. And then the other thing that comes into it that we haven't touched on is, you know, here I am, a fitness uh person, a wellness person, a coach. Um I just lost my train of thought.

SPEAKER_01 33:16

So so when when you when your partner is, you can tell the energy is off and you can't figure out why. You want to ask them, is it me or is it something that has nothing to do with me?

SPEAKER_05 33:28

Yes. So prevention is what I'm an advocate of. Preventing people from getting sick, preventing people from getting injured. How do you prevent major conflict in a relationship? Counseling. Marriage counseling. Okay. And to answer, do I leave him alone or do I push? I can't tell you how many times we've gone to a marriage counseling session, and which by the way, we would turn it into a date night. We'd go to counseling. Very smart. Yep. And then once a month, and then we would, and we haven't done it for a little while, so I need to be practicing what I preach. We'd turn it into a date night, go to our counseling session, go to dinner, and and talk.

SPEAKER_02 34:08

Yeah.

SPEAKER_05 34:09

In numerous marriage counseling sessions, I learned why he was being distant that week. It was nine out of ten times work-related, had nothing to do with me, but if I didn't ask the question or we didn't go to marriage counseling, I would have taken it personally. And you can't take it personally. There's an art of communication, and we all are not so great at it trying to be better. There's been times over the years we've written each other emails, we've written each other letters, just to make sure that what we're trying to say comes across the right way. I wouldn't text emotions that are important.

SPEAKER_01 34:54

Okay. After 29 years of marriage, what's the number one thing you've learned about relationships?

SPEAKER_05 35:04

What you thought or what you agreed on yesterday might not be what you agree on five years from now. You have to be bendable. You have to be willing to make new rules. And I think people fail epically when they go into a relationship thinking that they can change someone. I didn't marry myself. I married my equal. And I love how different we are. I am not trying to change my husband. I picked a good partner. Wow.

SPEAKER_01 35:41

That is that's powerful. Most people, not even marriage in dating, they're they're trying to change people. That's that's not the proper approach.

SPEAKER_05 35:50

Epic fail. Then you didn't, you settled. If you took somebody in your life that you want to change, guess what? They're not the right person for you.

SPEAKER_01 36:00

Wow.

SPEAKER_05 36:01

Choose again and next time choose wiser.

SPEAKER_01 36:03

Wow. How great of advice is that?

SPEAKER_05 36:09

I hope it helps.

SPEAKER_01 36:10

If you have to change your partner, then you you didn't pick the right one.

SPEAKER_05 36:12

It's all on me. It's on you. Yeah. Everybody walks around. Well, he's not this. He didn't check this box. Good luck finding your unicorn. Yeah. She's not tall enough. She's not sexy enough. She doesn't make enough money. She doesn't drive the right car. He doesn't. He doesn't. What do you bring yourself? And then you will find your equal. It's almost like people have this invisible to you, flashing neon sign over their head, like I'm approachable or I'm not ready yet. Right. You focus on being the best version of yourself, and then that flashing neon light will say approachable and the right person will approach you.

SPEAKER_01 36:53

Wow. Well, I can see why you've been married for 29 years. Amazing, amazing advice.

SPEAKER_05 36:59

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 37:00

I mean, you know, happiness is your responsibility. I mean, if you got to change your partner, then you pick them wrong. I mean, that you this this was amazing. You you helped a lot of people today. Including me. Including me. So um no, I I I appreciate all that you've done for me. I appreciate you could coming in and doing this. But before we leave, can we talk about if people want to work with you? Where can they go to follow you? If they want to go to one of your retreats, how do they do that?

SPEAKER_05 37:25

Uh uh Pilatesvegas.net is my website, and that has, you know, coaching, Pilates. I created a workout program so people don't have to miss their workouts. That's also on my website, Nina Waldman One on Instagram. And then the I'm really excited, the next retreat that I put on calendar is May of 2027. It's going to be in the beautiful Costa Rica, which is my favorite place on earth. Um I are I just announced it yesterday, and seven of the 10 rooms have booked. So if a retreat is calling you, call me. But yeah, I would love to work with you coaching, Pilates, meditation, all of it. Everything to help you live a healthier and happier life.

SPEAKER_01 38:11

Love that. And I'll make sure I have your social media and your website linked when I when I post this.

SPEAKER_05 38:16

Thank you, Will.

SPEAKER_01 38:17

Awesome. Well, you were amazing.

SPEAKER_05 38:18

You too.

SPEAKER_01 38:19

I I appreciate you coming in.

SPEAKER_05 38:21

Thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_01 38:22

Oh, yeah, for sure. For sure. Elite Level Status Podcast. I'm your host, Will Scott, and we'll see you guys next time.