Meeting In Person Over Dating Apps - with Guest Brittney Carter

In this episode of the Elite Level Status Podcast, I sit down with Brittney Carter for a real conversation about modern dating, dating apps, and emotional connection. Brittney shares her perspective on why meeting people in person still matters, why dating apps can feel superficial and disconnected, and what makes it hard to build real chemistry through a screen. 

We talk about why emotional connection matters more than material flexing, why genuine conversation and intentionality go further than showing off money, and why so many people are craving something deeper in relationships.

We also get into what a man needs to show for a woman to take him seriously, how men can take initiative without coming off cocky, and why character, humor, emotional intelligence, and follow-through matter so much more than surface-level attraction. 

This episode also has some great practical dating advice around in-person approach dynamics, why so many potential relationships never happen because both sides get nervous, and how men can send better DMs by actually paying attention to a woman’s content instead of sending generic compliments. 

This was one of those conversations that was both thoughtful and useful, especially for anyone trying to date with more intention in a world that often feels disconnected.

If you enjoyed this episode, make sure to like, comment, subscribe, and share with someone who needs to hear this conversation. 

Follow for more conversations on relationships, self-development, and becoming elite in every area of life.

Follow Brittney Carter on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brittinspires/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

This podcast is brought to you by Elite Level Status Wines. My wine journey started with drinking cheap grocery store wines that were really acidic and gave me headaches. Then I switched to quote unquote luxury, but overpriced full-bodied wines that were really heavy and had a bad aftertaste. The inability to find the perfect wine led to the creation of elite-level status wines. Elite level status wines are approachable, medium-bodied wines with great flavor and minimal aftertaste. And with me being a health conscious person, I wanted to create a wine that was lower in sugar and lower in calories than the full-bodied mass-produced wines that we always see. We currently have two wines. First is our Cabernet, has notes of blackberry, cinnamon, plum, nutmeg, and French vanilla. Then we also have our rose wine. Our rose is going to be a flat, dry ink rose with subtle strawberry and raspberry flavors. Both wines are medium-bodied wines with less sugar and less calories, and they're both available on my website, elsbindwine.com. Check them out, and I hope you love it. Thanks for clicking the link and checking out the Elite Level Status Podcast. Since you're here, I have a special offer just for you. It's 15% off either of my wines. So click the link below and check them out. And I hope you enjoy the podcast. Elite Level Status Podcast, we're back again. Remember, you can catch us on Apple, YouTube, and Spotify. Today I have a special guest. Her name is Brittany. Thanks for coming in.

SPEAKER_02 1:34

Hello. Thank you for having me.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

So, first, can you kind of just give us your background? Like where and how did you grow up?

SPEAKER_02 1:41

Okay. I grew up in Southern California. Okay. In the IE in the empire.

SPEAKER_03 1:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:47

Um, I grew up in an area that was more of a suburban area. It wasn't like a city. It was more like soccer towns, like soccer families. Um, but it was like a really cool town to grow up in and a lot of communities. So I really enjoyed my childhood.

SPEAKER_01 2:04

Okay. All right. Love it. And how long have you been living in Vegas?

SPEAKER_02 2:08

I've been living in Vegas for four years now.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 2:11

I moved back here, I moved here 2022.

SPEAKER_01 2:15

Okay, perfect. So I want to get into some modern dating um questions with you.

SPEAKER_02 2:20

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 2:21

For the first one, what's your biggest pain point in the modern dating market?

SPEAKER_02 2:27

Uh I think actually getting out and meeting people meeting people. I'm a very social person, but I don't go out as much as I should, probably to meet people.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 2:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 2:42

So that is a I think that's a concern for a lot of people. Like, I'm not sure where people really go or like what people are doing nowadays. Do you think that that's an issue for you as well?

SPEAKER_02 2:52

Or I think it's everyone is, I feel like everyone's on the dating apps or like online dating.

SPEAKER_03 2:59

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

And just that's not my jam.

SPEAKER_03 3:02

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 3:02

So I struggle with that. I think that's a hard one because I'm like, ah, I want to meet people in person. Right. But finding the time to actually go and meet and connect with people outside of like just work stuff. Right.

SPEAKER_01 3:13

It's hard. What exactly is your biggest issue with dating apps?

SPEAKER_02 3:19

It just feels like it's lacking true connection. When you meet someone in person, you are able to fill their vibes. You kind of get to know them on a level that you can't really get to know someone online. Plus, I'm a little old school. Like, I'm like, who's on the other side of that phone? I don't know. I feel like people be catfishing so much, and I just don't want to get caught up.

SPEAKER_01 3:40

Yeah. Uh no, that's that's definitely fair. Um, do you do you believe that it's possible to find genuine relationships and genuine love on a dating app? Or do you think it's just superficial, it's too risky?

SPEAKER_02 3:58

I think that real people are on dating apps, and I know that people do find real love. I have a few friends and family members that found their person and got married and lived happily ever after. Um I just, for me, I'm a little like reluctant. And I think I have to get over that. But yeah.

SPEAKER_01 4:19

Yeah. And and I'm right there with you. I actually heard that all these dating apps are publicly owned companies, right? So they're here to make money. Right. So their best interest is not for people to find a lasting relationship because if you do that, you're gonna delete the app.

SPEAKER_02 4:36

Ah, okay.

SPEAKER_01 4:37

So they actually set up the algorithms so that people meet, go out, and hopefully have maybe a good date or two, but it doesn't work out. So you come back onto the app and keep swiping. Now it's a cycle. Right. Right. So that's my reason why I'm not a fan of updating apps. Because at the end of the day, there's a financial incentive. And all these companies, bumble, whoever, they're publicly traded. So they're not gonna make money if every single person gets on there and meets the love of their life and gets married. Because now what do you need the app for?

SPEAKER_02 5:12

Right. You delete the app.

SPEAKER_01 5:14

Right. And so now, even in this setup, I know that like back in the day when Ian Harmony and all that was first starting, they would have like a 400 question questionnaire to like really find like compatibility.

SPEAKER_03 5:26

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:26

Now that's gone. Now they just ask you a couple questions. I was like, well, why is that? Why not take the time to if someone sits down and answers a 400 question survey before they start, they're serious.

SPEAKER_03 5:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 5:36

How come everyone doesn't do that? Well, because they don't want you to find love, they want you to stay on the app. So okay. Um, what does a man need to show for you to take him seriously?

SPEAKER_02 5:48

I think initiative is important. I think that being understanding and showing genuine interest and taking the initiative to like make time, to want to get to know the person fully. I think that's I think that's important, is knowing that it's intentional.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

So early in a relationship, what are some good ways that a man can take initiative? Is it simply planning a date? Is it saying, hey, we're gonna do this and do that? And if he puts forth an effort to try to find something, maybe he's on your Instagram, you're trying to do some research, okay, what are you into, and tries his best to plan something around that. Would that be a good example of a man taking initiative early in a relationship?

SPEAKER_02 6:35

Yeah, I think that is a good example. I think taking initiative is when you want something, you go and get it. And I feel like if a man wants something, they're gonna take the steps to make it happen, especially if someone's like a go-getter. So you'll plan the date or you'll make the phone call, or you will find out what she's interested in and make it happen. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

Love that. How does a man show what he can offer without coming off as narcissistic or cocky?

SPEAKER_02 7:09

Um, I think it's just in the actions. Just the natural actions, like just doing what you say you're gonna do and just showing up. And you don't have to show off what you can do, but just being letting the woman know that you're there to help in any way, like as far as emotional support, as far as just encouragement, or any other way, just showing it by showing up.

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Simply showing up.

SPEAKER_01 7:36

So so if a guy is like counting money in front of you or showing you pictures of his Lambo or something like that, that typically early in a relationship, that's not gonna be a um a positive aspect per se. Is it is that correct?

SPEAKER_02 7:52

The way I see that is that's his money, that's his Lambo. Like that's nice. But as far as a relationship or a connection going deeper, that has nothing to do with me.

SPEAKER_03 8:01

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:02

Um, anyone could have that and show that. And it doesn't show that they're intentional about you, doesn't mean that they want to build something with you.

SPEAKER_03 8:10

Right.

SPEAKER_02 8:11

Um, so for me, that signals that, okay, that's nice that you have that. That's great, but it doesn't mean that you want to build anything with me. Right.

unknown 8:18

Right.

SPEAKER_01 8:19

And I I love your answer because I feel like a lot of times men get caught up in, okay, I need to have all these materialistic things in order to get a woman's attention. When in reality, take some an initiative, be intentional, and you'll get the same effect, the effect that you actually want, the effect that actually has an impact that you want from women instead of trying to like show, you know, all these material assets that you have, right? I feel like a lot of men, you know, are well intentioned. Sometimes the things that we do come across as otherwise simply because they don't know better, right?

SPEAKER_03 8:54

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:54

And so that's why I love your answer. And that's why I wanted to have this show so that making just have a better understanding of, okay, how do I get the impact that I want from women, right? And so that energy, instead of, you know, putting energy towards, okay, how do I take a picture of this car? No, put your energy into researching what she's into and plan a date.

SPEAKER_02 9:14

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:15

That'll get you the effect that you want.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

Yeah. And conversation too, just like really getting to know someone because emotional connection is huge, right? I feel like that's important and it's missing a lot in our society. So when someone actually has a genuine emotional connection, a lot of times women don't care about all the other stuff. Cause it's like, I I love him, I care about him, and you will build with that person because of the emotional connection that's there.

SPEAKER_01 9:37

So let's expand on that. Like, in your opinion, why is emotional connection so important in a relationship?

SPEAKER_02 9:45

I think that that transcends all of the material stuff and it transcends this like superficial level of dating because when you have an emotional connection, it goes deeper. Now you're more forgiving when the person makes a mistake. Now you're more understanding, you're more patient. Um, and you're more interested in actually seeing where it goes. Cause it's like now I have there's something deeper that's there. A lot of times people get in relationships after they've been friends for a while. And typically those relationships do pretty good because they've already built this strong foundational emotional connection. So when the life trials come, it's like, that's my road dog. We're gonna figure this out together instead of just a superficial, oh yeah, he's got a Lambo and money.

SPEAKER_01 10:25

Yeah. Interesting.

SPEAKER_02 10:27

It's not real true connection.

SPEAKER_01 10:29

Interesting. So you think people are more likely to work through hard times if there's a genuine emotional connection?

SPEAKER_02 10:37

I really believe so. I mean, that's I mean, people work through the money part too, because they're like, oh, you know, stay with, but that's not real to me. That's more like superficial and it lacks that real quality and genuineness. Um, yeah, that's how I see it.

SPEAKER_01 10:51

Well said. Okay. Um, other than emotional connection, what traits do you prioritize in men? And I mean your ideal man, like the guy you're dreaming about at night. Like what traits does he have?

SPEAKER_02 11:03

I think the most important trait for me is character.

unknown 11:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:06

Um, someone who's a man of character who has moral standards as far as like what he stands for and what he expects others to stand for. And I would say someone who is um funny. Like, don't be boring. Like, I cannot, like, don't lack personality. Like, be funny.

SPEAKER_01 11:23

Hold on, hold on a week. Okay, so this is important coming from you because you're tight. Yeah. Okay. So that is that is something that that ranks high. Like you, you wouldn't be with a boring guy.

SPEAKER_02 11:34

I couldn't.

unknown 11:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 11:36

Like, if you don't have some kind of sense of humor, yeah, that's gonna be hard for me because I'm gonna crack jokes every now and then, or I'm gonna expect jokes to be cracked at some point. Because life is funny and you gotta laugh. And if so people that are uptight, I usually can have I I drift away from.

SPEAKER_01 11:52

I I think that's another great answer by you. Like, to the men watching, you do need to think about how do I say this? Like, you need to be entertaining. You don't want to be boring. Your woman needs to be looking forward to being with you because she's gonna have a good time.

SPEAKER_00 12:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:10

And I think that sometimes that gets overlooked by by men. Um, so yeah, like I I love, I love that comment by you. Like, don't be uptight. You need to be entertaining, personable. That's the word. Personable, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Be personable because we're human. Um, also, can I add one more?

SPEAKER_01 12:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:30

Intelligence. Like, be intelligent. And I mean that like having intelligent conversations, have something to talk about. Like, I think that also helps to build on the for me is is having a level of intellect.

SPEAKER_01 12:43

Okay. And so would you say you prioritize more emotional intelligence, like people skills, or is that more like literally like IQ being smart?

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Like, I value emotional intelligence over IQ. Because I you could be smart and just completely not get it.

SPEAKER_01 12:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 13:00

Emotional intelligence is more important. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:04

Um How can a man lead a woman without making her feel controlled?

SPEAKER_02 13:09

Ooh, that's a great question. I think it's it's including the woman in the process. And when you are trying to lead, you communicate, hey, this is why we're going in this direction, or this is why I'm suggesting this direction. And it's going to be beneficial for both of us. This is how we're growing together. So not just taking the lead and saying blindly follow me, lay out a plan, have a vision, have a place where you're going. Because a lot of times guys are like, follow me, follow me. And I'm like, What where are we going?

SPEAKER_01 13:39

Okay. I want to say who where I want to stay here for a second because this is important. So men are often told, be leaders. Okay. If a woman is really into you, she'll be submissive and she'll follow you. I think in order to lead people, they have to believe in you and they have to understand the why.

SPEAKER_02 14:00

That's huge.

SPEAKER_01 14:01

And I think that sometimes, you know, men will be like, hey, let's do this. Meet me here, meet me there. Without explaining the reason. So for example, if a guy wanted to take you out and he said, Okay, hey, meet me at this steakhouse on Friday night. I'll see you there. That's option one. Or option two, he said, Hey, I noticed on your Instagram stories you love steak. I found a great steakhouse. Let's go there on Friday night. Would would the second option be better because he's explaining to you like why he's taking you to this specific place?

SPEAKER_02 14:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:37

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:38

It it creates more meaning.

SPEAKER_01 14:40

Okay. And so that's yes. And I I love that. And I think that, you know, when when men are told to, you know, lead, you know, your woman will be submissive. It helps if she understands why you're doing what you're doing. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_02 14:57

It helps tremendously.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:59

But I will also add this caveat for guys. If a woman doesn't believe in you and does not see, like isn't seeing you in that way, just walk away. Cut your cut your losses. Because if she doesn't see, you're gonna spend so much time chasing her to make her see that it's gonna be just frustrating. So I think like find a woman that initially sees sees you.

SPEAKER_03 15:18

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:19

And that's for women and men, but like be with someone who sees you and wants to build on your vision. Then it's easier for her to follow because she's already bought into who you are and what you have to offer.

SPEAKER_01 15:31

Okay. Now in order to build that belief from a female standpoint, we've already said, okay, emotional and intelligence, um, being funny. Where does success fall into that as far as building belief? Do you need to see a guy that's already successful and moving forward? Or is it possible for a woman to believe in a guy that hasn't quite made it yet, but he is aspirational and is working towards it?

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Definitely. Yes, definitely. It's about consistency and it's about actually building towards something. When you have a vision, you say, hey, I want to do this. If you're taking the steps to get there and you have a plan to get there, then a woman could for sure go alongside and build with you. So many women build with men all the time because they're like, this is what I'm doing, this is my plan. I'm already taking steps. I've already got the this and that already handled. And the woman's like, oh, okay, well, I could bring this. And I it's like you put your resources together and then you get there faster. So if it's a plan and vision and you work in it, then for sure she's gonna follow.

SPEAKER_01 16:36

How does a man know that a woman believes in him?

SPEAKER_02 16:41

How she shows up for him. So if you are building a business and you're doing something, you see it when she says, Hey, I see that you need help with this. Let me go ahead and jump in and help you with this. Or, oh, I see what you're trying to do. I got this connection, let me connect the dots. She will start, because women are resourceful. We're givers. We're gonna find ways to bring resources together to make it happen.

SPEAKER_03 17:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

We're gonna bring the food to the table. You know, like what do we need to bring to make this right? And so when she starts putting hers in, as far as her time or effort or energy, her two cents, that shows she's getting invested in the plan, in the vision.

SPEAKER_01 17:18

Should a man not even try to lead before he sees some level of belief from his woman?

SPEAKER_02 17:25

Yeah. I I would say, why would you put energy towards someone who hasn't showed you that they're really gonna be by your side? Yeah. I wouldn't waste energy on that until she's showing up that way. Yeah. Because the guy has to show up, but the woman also has to show up. You can't be one sided either way. It's reciprocal. It has to be both sides.

SPEAKER_01 17:45

And I I think that's another issue. Um, I think that men put forth, you know, a a lot of effort in in trying to find a woman to be with before she's shown any belief. So then it doesn't work. And then now men are like out here resenting women and it's like, listen, like you didn't have to put in all that effort because she was showing you signs all along that she wasn't quite there, right?

SPEAKER_02 18:09

Right.

SPEAKER_01 18:10

And so I think a major problem in modern dating is men think, oh, I'm gonna buy her some flowers. I'm gonna do something nice for her. And then it doesn't go anywhere. And now they're like, Well, I thought women love flowers, it didn't work, so now I resent all women.

SPEAKER_03 18:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

Whereas like we need, we need to like step back a little bit first. And it's like it needs to be reciprocal.

SPEAKER_03 18:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

Like, okay, you make an effort, okay. She needs to show some sort of reciprocation, some sort of belief in you back. She needs to show some sort of effort in order for this to keep going.

SPEAKER_00 18:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:41

But I feel like men don't do that. They'll they'll hone in on a girl or whatever.

SPEAKER_00 18:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:46

The girl they've got all these efforts. Yeah. Yeah. And I think that's um a major issue. So I I love what you said. Like, you know, if a woman takes some of her effort and starts showing up for you early in a relationship, then you build on that. That's when you start taking the lead. That's when you start building that equity, telling her why.

SPEAKER_02 19:05

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:05

And then your chances of success are a lot.

SPEAKER_02 19:08

Yeah. Because both the woman and the man make some level of investment. It doesn't have to be monetary, but there is some level of investment that's there.

SPEAKER_01 19:15

Totally agree. Do you think social media has helped dating or made it worse?

SPEAKER_02 19:20

I think it's made it challenging, but it's also helped. I think it's both because you have that Kevin Samuels era where I feel like men and women were at war and like the feminine, the masculine energy was just fighting, and there's like so much drama with it.

SPEAKER_03 19:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 19:38

But I also think it has educated men and women too to understand the opposite sex instead of just saying, like, because now I'm more sympathetic to the male's per perspective, more so than I was before. Cause I understand, like, dang, they they deal with that. They spend all this money going on a date with a girl, she doesn't even turn out to be the one to choose. So I get it. Um, and I think yeah, I think that that's understandable.

SPEAKER_01 20:03

Yeah, for sure. Um, let's go back to um meeting men. So you said that you're not a fan of dating apps. You would prefer to meet men in person. Okay. In an in-person meeting, do you prefer the man to approach you first? Do you would you rather have a friend introduce you? Would you go up to a guy that you're interested in? What's the ideal interaction in person for you to meet a guy?

SPEAKER_02 20:33

A subtle, like not super direct, but he would have to initiate.

SPEAKER_03 20:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 20:39

Cause I, yeah, if it I wouldn't. Um, but a subtle initiation, not like in your face, oh, I'm interested, I want to talk to you, like too much. Just a subtle, like on a friend level, like just be cool.

SPEAKER_01 20:52

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

And see where it goes. Not pressuring, nothing like that.

SPEAKER_01 20:55

So even if it was like your perfect guy, you wouldn't uh initiate it?

SPEAKER_02 21:01

I mean, I might signal by looking.

SPEAKER_01 21:05

Why why is that such a because I feel like that's common among women. Like, why is that such a taboo thing to like, no matter what, I'm I'm not gonna make the if I initiate something, it would just be like casual conversation.

SPEAKER_02 21:17

It would never be like, oh, you're very attractive. I wouldn't talk to you, like I wouldn't go about it that way. It'd just be like very subtle. Like, I just I wasn't raised to do that. I was always told not to. So that's just not even in my that process. I'm not, that's not where my head goes. Because I see it as if a man, a man sees a woman.

SPEAKER_03 21:37

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 21:37

So when a man sees a woman, that's when he's gonna pursue, not the other way around. Like if a woman seeing him that just to me goes against the man leading. If I'm if I'm coming and pursuing a man, like how's he? You know, it just to me, just I know we're in a modern time, I get it, but I just feel like if a guy wants you, he'll pursue you. I don't wanna pursue a man. I I just feel like that would be counter.

SPEAKER_01 22:02

Okay. Let me let me ask you this though. What if what if a guy um doesn't notice you, doesn't see you, he's not focused on, you know, the other people in in the room, but he's in the same place you're at and he's someone that you don't want to talk to. You're you're more likely to sit there and just let him just, you know, potentially leave as opposed to taking a chance of him noticing you and coming in coming in to talk to you. And here's why I ask, right? Here's why I ask. So a lot of relationships, I feel like a lot of great relationships never happen because either one or both people are scared to make the first move, right? Yeah. So men are supposed to be the leader, supposed to be confident and all that. A lot easier said than enough for a lot of these guys. Typically, when a man sees an attractive woman, there's a there's a lot more ways they can go bad than it can go good, right? So a lot of time guys are going up, they may seem confident, but that first couple seconds of interaction, you're nervous, right? And so I feel like there's a lot of times where like a guy, he may notice you, he's gonna act like he don't see you because he may that, wow, she's beautiful, she's a little bit out of my league, she's gonna reject me. The last girl I tried to talk to, she, you know, embarrassed me. So I'm not gonna talk, right?

SPEAKER_00 23:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:16

And part of this show, you know, I'm trying to bring people back back together, right? Now I get it. Ideally, from a woman's perspective, you want a guy to notice you out of a crowd of people, oh my God, she's so beautiful and come over and talk to you, right? What if he's on his phone? What if he's busy and he doesn't see you? I think now I'm not saying women need to like go up and have a pickup line, uh, a stare, catch up, a wave. Yeah. If if if you stare, if you wave, if you make a subtle gesture, don't okay, if you don't want to go up and say, hi, Harry, I understand that. But something subtle to signal to that guy that you like, you should come over here and talk to me.

SPEAKER_02 23:53

Well, yeah, like the geja, like the movie The The Geja. And she like they trained her to look and she could look at a guy and catch his attention, and then he knows, oh, okay, she's interested. Now that I'll do. I'll look. Okay. I'm not gonna be well, okay. If I this is bad. So if I really think someone's attractive, I usually look away and I get shy. Okay, and I get shy. I just like, oh my God, you can't do it. I love that. And that's so five.

SPEAKER_01 24:18

But that's common though. That's common. Men do that too.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

And I get scared. I'm like, don't look at me.

SPEAKER_01 24:23

Okay, so this is important. This is because men do this too. It's it's not just you. And that's why I think it's an important topic. Because a lot of times you may think, oh, someone's not into you, and it's the opposite. Like they really are into into you, and they have this default of, okay, whoa, like, you know, it's it's kind of like a reflex of, oh my God, I don't see you, don't talk to me because I'm nervous right now, right?

SPEAKER_03 24:44

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 24:45

I I just want both sides to be more open, both men and women to be more open. If you're in into somebody, then then go get them. And so for for men, you need to get up, go over there, and actually talk. I do think that for for women, a subtle sign, a smile, a wave, small talk, you know, whatever it is. If if if you're at a restaurant or a coffee shop, hey, what are you ordering? If if a woman like starts a conversation with me, I know, okay, like she probably is interested. Right. And so that that's what I'm saying. I think that would help modern dating. If both sides, when you like someone, instead of acting like, oh, I don't see you, because men do that too, instead of acting like, oh, you don't see you, a subtle start of conversation, just feel it out. Just feel it out, right?

SPEAKER_03 25:31

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 25:32

A lot of great relationships don't happen because men, men are nervous. I'm just gonna put it out there. There's there's a lot of ways that men can get embarrassed, especially when you're quote approaching in public at the gym, at a bar. There's a lot, there's more ways I would argue it could go bad than it does go good. So a lot of men just, oh hey, I'm I'm not even gonna try it, right?

SPEAKER_02 25:49

That's fair. That's fair.

SPEAKER_01 25:50

And then women, like you just said, are being trained, being raised. No, a man's gonna get you. If you want a high value man, I play Disney movies. Yeah, yeah. If you want a high-value guy, he's busy. He may not notice you, he may not, you who knows, right? So why wait for him to maybe notice you when you could okay, go and check his temperature? The worst that could happen is okay, no, it doesn't go anywhere, but at least you gave yourself a chance, right? I feel like there are so many relationships, great relationships, could end in marriage and kids that never happen because of this.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

It's very wise. I think I think you have you're on to something.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

And yeah, and listen, I I get it. When when you're not sure if someone notices you, you know, because I I've been there too. You get self-conscious. You know, I see a girl that I like, oh, you know, I I start thinking about all kinds of stuff. Whereas like, okay, the more you think, the more you wait, she may get up and leave. Now you just lost your opportunity. You may never see her again. She was right there in front of you. Give yourself a chance.

SPEAKER_02 26:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:51

And I I think as men, you know, the more the onus should be on them to, yeah, no, get up and give yourself a chance, be confident, go and at least say something and feel it out, right? But I do think if it would help if woman if women took a little more of that initiative as well.

SPEAKER_03 27:08

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

And again, ladies, you don't need like a pickup line. A look, a smirk, a smile. You must be tad. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:16

You were running to my all day long.

SPEAKER_01 27:20

Damn, no, I I would say, ladies, pickup line. If if you I'm not saying it will work, but it's never, it really happens. So, so ladies, if you do have a good pickup line, you you may be able to get any guy you want.

SPEAKER_02 27:34

Who knows? Hey Shotty.

SPEAKER_01 27:37

Wait, would you say you must be tired? You've been running through my mind. If a woman came over and said that to me, I would I would at least, I would at least say, you get an A for effort. Like, especially if you were attractive. If she was attractive, I'd be like, listen, come over here, let me buy you a drink, let me buy you something. You deserve something. You came over here, you came with a funny pickup line, you made me laugh.

SPEAKER_02 28:02

You thought about that early on.

SPEAKER_01 28:04

You you sat over there and thought about which pickup line should I go to? And you chose that you came up here, you deserve something. I if you did that to me, I would give you something.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

Okay, I'm gonna think of some.

SPEAKER_01 28:14

Yeah. I like that.

SPEAKER_00 28:15

I like that. Listen, listen, let's all help each other. Like, ladies, if you see someone you like, give yourself a chance. That's all I'm saying. Amen. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:25

You hear that, ladies?

SPEAKER_01 28:27

Okay. Um, I feel like that that's an important topic.

SPEAKER_02 28:31

I receive it. I, you know, I receive it.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

I receive it. Um going back to meeting men, let's talk about DMs now. I'm I'm sure it goes down into DMs. It does it goes down in DMs. Um, I'm sure you've gotten your fair share of DMs. Do you have any examples that you can share with us on the show? Maybe some good ones and some bad ones.

SPEAKER_02 28:54

Okay. I'll say one. I remember a guy reached out to me and he sent me like a paragraph. This is like one of the first messages.

SPEAKER_03 29:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:01

And he was explaining his whole life situation as far as like his baby mama and his like five kids and like all this stuff that's going on. He's talking about like how he's been following me and was interested in talking to me.

SPEAKER_01 29:12

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

That's too much.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:14

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_01 29:14

And you've never met him, never seen this guy. He's just a cold DM on social media.

SPEAKER_02 29:19

Just following, like, you know, like stuff or like just, but eventually just kind of like let it out. And I get it, like, life can get crazy. You're just like, I'm gonna shoot my shot, but don't give me all the tea. Ease the T and like not just not to be just like hiding that thing, but like the first interaction, just take your time. Okay. Don't tell all the business in the first.

SPEAKER_01 29:40

Okay, that's great advice. That's great advice, guys. Let's not spill all the tea in the first DM. Okay. Okay, I like that. Any any other advice for for guys out there?

SPEAKER_02 29:50

I think a good, I'll say a good example was um just sending a message to acknowledge like the content that's being um like say if a girl's like posting certain content, like, oh, I really like that, it was really insightful, what you shared, that quote. Like, actually pay attention to what she's posting and she's posting like a deep quote, like look into it and say, Oh, I I love this made me think about this. So usually when there's a conversation that started from, oh, I see that you do a lot of motivational content, like what inspired you to start doing that kind of content, like genuine interest. Then you got them talking, and they're like, Oh, well, I got inspired because I went through this thing and this and this and that. And now she's opening up and talking more, and now you guys got that ping pong going on. And next thing you know, like, yeah, you're really cool. You're easy to talk to. We should grab coffee. And there you have it.

SPEAKER_01 30:38

A plus advice. Okay. All right. That's what I was looking to get. Okay, guys.

SPEAKER_02 30:44

Don't just jump right in. Like, I want to, I'm trying to see you. What's up? Like, nah. And warning, do not call people on Instagram if you don't know them like that.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

Yeah. No, that's that's also great, great advice, too. Um, okay, listen. I love what you just said. To the guys that are, you know, hanging out in the DMs, pay attention to what she's posting. Not the copy and paste, hey, you're bad. Hey, you're cute, hey, you're thick.

SPEAKER_02 31:13

Hardy emoji, hardy emoji, hardy emoji.

SPEAKER_01 31:15

Yeah. I I feel like if he's paying attention to what you're posting and ask a question based on what you're posting, that's showing intention. That's a form of taking uh initiative.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:27

And so if you send a DM based on something specific to her in her page, you help yourself. If she responds back, that means she went to your page and look, who is this guy? Yeah. And if she's responding back, she did her research. If not, she wouldn't waste time going back and forth with you. So if you get a response from that, you got something. Yeah. Now you can go forward.

SPEAKER_02 31:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 31:48

I love that. You just you just helped a lot of guys from that.

SPEAKER_02 31:50

And and what if she's just pro posting like thirst traps? You can say, Are you thirsty? Because I do got water. You can like let them know, like, I got you if you want to quench that thirst. Because some girls, they don't have nothing. They just post some booty picks and like different angles in address. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:09

And listen, you know.

SPEAKER_02 32:10

But you shouldn't be DMing like, well, maybe you should. I don't know. It depends on what you're trying to do. Listen.

SPEAKER_01 32:16

Listen, you know, a lot of men love a good thirst trap, you know? Now, you know.

SPEAKER_02 32:21

It depends on the agenda. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

Yeah. That's and maybe that's a different podcast. Um. But yeah, your your approach uh to the to the woman that has nothing but thirst traps on her page, your approach to her would be a oh, add a quote.

SPEAKER_02 32:40

Ladies, add a quote. I know you want to show off the goodies.

SPEAKER_01 32:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:43

That's fine. Yeah. Add a quote or two.

SPEAKER_01 32:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 32:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 32:46

And yeah, I I I think that helps, yeah. I mean, you know, at least from your assistant standpoint. I I I would say, listen, I am not, I am not gonna get on here and say anything bad about the thirst traps. I'm not I'm not gonna do that. But I do think that, yeah, guys, your um your DM should should be based on what she's posting, and I would agree. If she has a little more variety on her page, that that does make you know it easier for the guy to send a DM. But um, no, I think that's great advice.

SPEAKER_02 33:19

For both sides.

SPEAKER_01 33:20

Yeah. Okay, last question. What do you think men most misunderstand about the modern woman?

SPEAKER_02 33:30

I think that the modern woman might have more of a free spirit, and um that doesn't mean she doesn't want to submit. And that doesn't mean that she doesn't want to follow the the vision that a man has. It just means that she may be a free thinker. She might look at things differently. And I think that it's condemned a lot of times when women choose different paths or when they're more free-spirited instead of cultivate it.

SPEAKER_03 33:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 33:59

Um, I think that men could cultivate those relationships with women that might have that type of mindset and maybe look at things outside the box instead of just being like, no, you need to follow this. She might have some ideas that might be a different path that might work.

SPEAKER_01 34:12

Yeah, for sure.

SPEAKER_02 34:13

Yeah. So For sure.

SPEAKER_01 34:15

I love that. Well, I appreciate you coming in.

SPEAKER_02 34:17

Thank you.

SPEAKER_01 34:18

You're an awesome guest. Is there anything else that you'd want to touch on? Any other opinions on dating that you want to get out there that we haven't touched on yet?

SPEAKER_02 34:25

I think we covered a lot of it. Yeah, we did. Yeah, I think we covered a lot of crimes.

SPEAKER_01 34:29

I think we helped a lot of people today.

SPEAKER_02 34:31

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 34:31

If somebody wants to um follow you, can you give them your uh IG handles?

SPEAKER_02 34:36

Yeah, so you can follow me at Brit Inspires, and that's Brit with two Ts, and the word inspires plural. Uh on um pretty much everything. I'm on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, as well as Facebook. So definitely check me out. I do comedy and I also do marketing.

SPEAKER_01 34:56

I love that. You're very talented at both. I I've seen you doing both in in action. So um definitely, definitely high high praise to you. I love what you're doing. Definitely keep going forward.

SPEAKER_02 35:06

Thank you so much.

SPEAKER_01 35:07

For sure. I'm Will Scott, your host, Elite Level Satis Podcast. That's another episode, and we'll see you guys next time.