The Best Songs Come From Heartbreak - with Guest Harmony Shay

In this episode of the Elite Level Status Podcast, I sit down with country singer and songwriter Harmony Shay for a conversation about music, heartbreak, and modern dating.

Harmony shares her background growing up in Las Vegas, how she first discovered her voice as a kid, and why being on stage always felt like home. We talk about her journey from dance to singing, how performing arts helped shape her, and why music became the place where she could fully come alive.

We also get into the songwriting process and how some of her best songs have come from heartbreak, disappointment, and real-life experiences. Harmony explains how she writes from personal emotion, why pain tends to inspire her the most, and how music becomes both her therapy and her way of helping other people feel seen. 

She also talks about writing songs that are deeply relatable, the “downloads” that hit her when inspiration comes, and how she’s been able to create her own sound by blending country, pop, and rock influences into something that feels true to her.

On the dating side, this episode gets very honest. Harmony opens up about how frustrating the modern dating market feels, why she believes too many men have stopped acting like men, and why transparency matters so much in relationships.

This was a fun, honest, and very relatable conversation that touches on both music and relationships in a real way. If you enjoy conversations about creativity, heartbreak, ambition, and self-expression, this is an episode you’ll want to hear.

Follow for more conversations on relationships, self-development, and becoming elite in every area of life.

Follow Harmony Shay on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/harmonyshay_/

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

This podcast is brought to you by Elite Level Status Wines. My wine journey started with drinking cheap grocery store wines that were really acidic and gave me headaches. Then I switched to quote unquote luxury, but overpriced full-bodied wines that were really heavy and had a bad aftertaste. The inability to find the perfect wine led to the creation of elite level status wines. Elite level status wines are approachable, medium-bodied wines with great flavor and minimal aftertaste. And with me being a health conscious person, I wanted to create a wine that was lower in sugar and lower in calories than the full-bodied mass-produced wines that we always see. We currently have two wines. First is our Cabernet, has notes of blackberry, cinnamon, plum, nutmeg, and French vanilla. And we also have our rose wine. Our rose is going to be a flat, dry ink rose with subtle strawberry and raspberry flavors. Both wines are medium-bodied wines with less sugar and less calories, and they're both available on my website, elsbindwine.com. Check them out, and I hope you love it. Thanks for clicking the link and checking out the Elite Level Status Podcast. Since you're here, I have a special offer just for you. It's 15% off either of my wines. So click the link below and check them out, and I hope you enjoy the podcast. Elite Level Status Podcast, we're back again. Remember, you can catch us on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Today I have a special guest. She's a country singer and songwriter. Her name is Harmony. Thanks for coming in.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

Thank you for having me. I'm really excited.

SPEAKER_00 1:37

Awesome. So let's jump into this first question. Give us your background. Where did you grow up and how did you get into music?

SPEAKER_01 1:44

I was actually born and raised here in Vegas. Wow. One of the rare locals. Okay, rare locals. I feel like the people who are born here, sorry to everybody who moves here, but we're like the most normal people that live here.

SPEAKER_00 1:56

100% agreed.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

We are not phased by things. We grew up around it. We're, it's just nothing is like, oh my God, you're starstruck, or oh my gosh, I have to go have a gambling problem. Like, we're not like that.

SPEAKER_00 2:07

Yeah, well, I agree with that. When I like went to college, they were like, Did you grow up in a casino? Do you guys have Walmarts? Do you guys have gas stations? I'm like, when you figure out There are homes in Vegas.

SPEAKER_01 2:17

Right, right. I was like, wait, what? Yeah, of course there's homes.

SPEAKER_00 2:20

I used to tell them when you go to Vegas, is it just the casinos and a bunch of dirt, or are there like buildings off the strip? We're like, no, there's buildings for fine.

SPEAKER_01 2:27

Come on, God. I got asked in school if um I took gambling classes. I was like, y'all, come on.

SPEAKER_00 2:34

Yeah, and you have to just learn to ignore the ignorance sometimes. People don't know any better.

SPEAKER_01 2:40

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Um, but yeah, I I definitely think we are some of the more normal people. What high school did you go to?

SPEAKER_01 2:44

Uh Las Vegas Academy. What about you?

SPEAKER_00 2:46

Interesting. So I went to Clark. It's like a magnet program for a couple weeks. Um, I hated it. You know, I had to wake up at 4 a.m., take the bus, go across town. So then I just went to the school I was zoned for, which is Cimarron.

SPEAKER_01 2:57

Okay. I was zoned for Vegas High. But I did LVA because obviously singing.

SPEAKER_00 3:01

Yeah, yeah. So tell us more about that. Like, how did you get into music?

SPEAKER_01 3:05

Oh my goodness. So when I was younger, I was about three years old. My dad does like vocal impersonations and impressions and stuff. And he put a microphone in my hand when I was like three years old. And they discovered I can sing. They're like, wait, our kid's actually on key. This is this is wild. But it wasn't my first love. Surprisingly, my first love was dance. Okay. And I grew up extremely shy. Like I, if we were in a room, I would make you face the wall or I would have to face the wall. And my parents were always trying to get me to sing. And I'm like, turn around, or I'm gonna turn around. Cause I just very, very shy person. And then all of a sudden, when I would go on the stage, I just came alive. I was so happy. My mom's like, who is this kid? Like, that is not my shy little girl. Like, I thrived on the stage. It was my favorite place in the world. And I dance was my whole life. I did two of every different class jazz, tap, acro, modern, ballet, you name it. I was just lived for dance. And then um I had a talent show through my dance company where I did sing in front of people. And I was like, wait a second, I actually like singing. Like I really love singing. And I was able to go to the performing arts high school that um just helped me hone my craft a little. And I had you have to keep up a certain performance schedule, like a certain amount of performances um along with your GPA and things like that. And when I was on the stage, I was just like, I know for a fact this is what I'm supposed to be doing, like using my voice and like I still love to dance. Don't get me wrong. I will I will work up a dance, but I knew at that moment, like this is it.

SPEAKER_00 4:31

Yeah, I love that. You seem so passionate, and so it doesn't surprise me that you started at such a young age.

SPEAKER_01 4:36

Yeah, loved it whole life.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

So country music is about storytelling. What story are you trying to tell through your music?

SPEAKER_01 4:45

Goodness, I have so many stories to tell. So many life experiences. Um, but I do like to write songs from personal experiences that are super relatable just because I have listened to music and it helped me get through so much in my life. And I want that with my music. So I want people to be like, oh my goodness, I'm not alone. Somebody else went through this, they're surviving. Oh wow, she's articulating something that I can't put into words myself. And this is the message I want to say to somebody, or this is exactly how I'm feeling. And music helps people through anything, whether you're happy or sad. I mean, it helps you. It's a whole thing, it makes the world go round. And that's why I love songwriting so much, just because I get to do that for other people too. And I watch, I watch The Impact, or I get the messages where people are like, I'm going through heartbreak, and what you wrote about is exactly what I'm feeling right now. Like, thank you for writing this, you know?

SPEAKER_00 5:41

Right. I love that. Yeah, you can definitely help a lot of people through music.

SPEAKER_01 5:46

Yeah. So my songs are about everything, like everything that I've experienced in life. And it and it is from being in love to heartbreak to just having moments with my friends, or so there's a lot, it covers a lot of subjects, honestly.

SPEAKER_00 6:01

So, what are some personal experiences that have had the most effect on your music?

SPEAKER_01 6:07

Uh breakups, heartbreak, you bad, bad men out there. Um, mostly heartbreak, yeah. Disappointment and heartbreak and and just I I write sad songs really well. I wish that wasn't the case. People are always like, Can you come up with some more like happy songs? And I'm like, when things work out in my love life, I will.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Well, so I I feel like this is I feel like you can't really lose though. Cause when you get in a relationship, it's either gonna go great and you're gonna be in a great relationship, or it's gonna go bad and now you can make music from it.

SPEAKER_01 6:42

Oh my goodness, I'm gonna profit off the hard place. Are you kidding me? I'm gonna be rich from these men breaking my heart and disappointing me. So thank you all for that. Um no, you know what? I kind of tell people, I'm like, when I date them, I'm sort of like a song will be written about you, most likely.

SPEAKER_02 6:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:59

You are the one who determines if it's gonna be a good song or a bad song. But either way, thank you for the song.

SPEAKER_00 7:05

Right.

SPEAKER_01 7:05

You know?

SPEAKER_00 7:06

I I love that that outlook. Um, and then yeah, I I just love the fact when when you approach it like that, there should be no pressure on you.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

No.

SPEAKER_00 7:16

You're you're gonna win either way. Either way. So the guy is gonna be the loser.

SPEAKER_01 7:19

Oh, I'm gonna get something out of this.

SPEAKER_00 7:21

Exactly.

SPEAKER_01 7:21

100% my time will not be wasted here.

SPEAKER_00 7:25

Um Do you feel like music lets you say things that you normally can't articulate in a normal conversation?

SPEAKER_01 7:34

Um, in a way, yes, but more so, I mean, I'm a very upfront person. I'm very honest and upfront, and I have no problem telling it like it is, but I feel the songs are more my therapy in the aftermath of things. So um, you know, after a breakup, it's kind of like I accumulate all of the thoughts and and I process all of the emotions, and I'm able to bottle that message up into a song that will live forever. And it's my release once I put it into the song. I I'm now releasing it. Okay. And also sometimes it's really funny because you go through the breakup and then I'm just like, hey, download my new song, and the person knows it's about them. And I'm like, you're welcome.

SPEAKER_00 8:16

Oh no, wait, so so what's that process? Do you you're not sending it to them for approval or anything? You're just releasing it.

SPEAKER_01 8:22

Oh no, I'm just releasing it and I'm like, Notice any, does this sound familiar?

SPEAKER_00 8:27

Hmm underway. Um, do you mind sharing any of uh maybe responses that that guys have had in the past about oh, hey, this is definitely about me?

SPEAKER_01 8:36

Oh yeah. I wrote like pretty much an entire album about one person. And he's like, I had told him, I was like, I'm on my second album, which I'm doing this year. And he's like, it's gonna be so cool to hear songs that are not about me and how shitty I am. And I was like, sorry.

SPEAKER_00 8:53

You know, is this is very interesting though, because sometimes it's hard to have a tough conversation in a relationship, right? And so, you know, you have a specific way that you can communicate with with men.

SPEAKER_02 9:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Um, that I feel like most women will will never have, right?

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:11

And, you know, another advantage to you is that, you know, when you curr communicate with your exes, make money off it too. So again, you put yourself in an advantageous position here.

SPEAKER_01 9:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

Um, so credit to you.

SPEAKER_01 9:23

God, I love my job.

SPEAKER_00 9:26

It's fun. Okay, so you kind of already answered this next one. So I was gonna ask you, what's easier for you? Because you're also a songwriter. So what's easier to write a song when you're coming from pain or when you're coming from love and happiness? So the answer is that it's easier to write a song than definitely pain.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Oh my goodness. It comes to me like that. It just downloads and the song writes itself, basically.

SPEAKER_00 9:47

Okay, so for people who don't know, can you kind of walk us through your process? When you write a song, are you literally sitting there with like a pen and paper?

SPEAKER_01 9:54

Yeah, I like some people will type into their phone. I like old school pen and paper. It's, I don't know, there's just something different about that. But I do it in a few different ways, but I do call them downloads, which is it sounds crazy if you haven't experienced it, but it's it's almost like you go in this state of flow, which is a real thing, but it's like it, it just downloads into my system and it it releases. Sometimes I don't even remember writing the song. Like it just the process happens. Other times a producer will give me a bunch of different beats, right? And I will feel something from them, just the music, and then I will apply lyrics and melody to it. Other times I will hear a cool phrase or think of a metaphor while I'm speaking to somebody or in a situation, and I can't get it out of my head until I go and write about it. And I love writing in metaphors and stuff, but um, yeah, so the process is different, and then I'll bring that to a producer and they will build the music around it. So I'm always music and lyrics are super important to me. But I have been at events where I have had to step mid-conversation because something's I can tell that it's downloading in my mind. And I'm like, I know this is so weird, and I'm not trying to be rude, but I need to go get this out and I need to record it into my phone because I'm gonna lose it.

SPEAKER_00 11:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:12

And I'll step to the side and I'll do like a voice memo thing, and then the song will be like written that night.

SPEAKER_00 11:17

Love the self-awareness to be able to recognize that, right? Yeah. So when you're writing, do you have to be in a studio? Can you be like at home?

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Oh no, I I I do it at home all the time. Or like I said, at an event. I'm like stepping to the side by a wall and I'm like, this song's gotta come out right now. A lot of times before I go to bed in the shower, I write very well with the shower. Like there's something about water, you know, like the purity of water coming down on you. Um, so I mean, I'm writing everywhere. Ideas come everywhere. We could have a conversation. I could be like, ooh, song idea about this. You just never know.

SPEAKER_00 11:49

Interesting. Interesting. So do you feel pressure to fit into like a certain image as a country artist, or are you trying to like carve your own lane?

SPEAKER_01 12:01

You know, honestly, ever since I was little, I have always kind of felt like I was in my own lane because my influences are everything from country to pop to rock to oldies to current day, like everything. And I used to hate that labels would tell me that you have to sort of fit into this box and you have to pick a lane, so to speak. And while I understood it, like yes, you have to represent a certain genre, I was like, well, I love everything and I listen to everything and I can sing everything well. And I don't want to only sing this one thing where I'm doing like a pop rock song, but hey, next I want to do a country song. So I hated that. So I was lucky enough, the last producer on my last album kind of helped me to blend all of my influences and make that lane for myself. So you do hear a little bit of country, you do hear a little bit of pop, you do hear a little bit of rock, and those are from my influences, and now it's a harmony sound. It's like harmony chaise sound. That is I can dabble into all of them, but it's still like my own distinctive like music. You wouldn't just be like, this is for sure this or this is for sure that. It's kind of a blend, you know.

SPEAKER_00 13:10

I love that. It's crazy that your name is actually Harmony.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

That's wild. I don't know how my parents say that. My real name. Yeah. I have sisters named Destiny and Storming. Can you imagine if one of them got Harmony and they can't they don't sing?

SPEAKER_00 13:22

They don't sing.

SPEAKER_01 13:23

That would suck. Like my parents were so smart. It was meant to be. My dad actually named me, he was singing the song Harmony and Me from Elton John. And my mom's like, that's the name. Yeah. I was like, thanks, Elton. I should thank him one day. Yeah. Elton, if you're watching, you are the reason for my name.

SPEAKER_00 13:39

That is that is so amazing. So, okay, now I'm curious. What goes into picking like a producer and and your team around you? How do you how do you find a good producer?

SPEAKER_01 13:48

That is the hard part, I will say, because you want to vibe properly and you want your vision to be your vision and you want them to understand it and be on the same page. And that's honestly not always the case.

SPEAKER_02 13:59

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 14:00

Um, so I kind of just I check the work that they've done. I I do see what genres they work in. If there's some who can do everything, sort of like how I want to sing everything. There's some are who like have never touched a country song before. So if I were to bring them a song that's a little more country, they may not produce it in the same way as somebody who's dabbled in that before and understands. So I do kind of tend to look at people's work higher and just see their overall sound. And then also it's an energy thing with their vibe, like with their personal energy. Like, do I get along with them? Am I having fun in the studio? Are they playful? Like, do they get my funny jokes? Are they laughing at me?

SPEAKER_00 14:38

So, how do you do you hold like job interviews? Like, how do you find that out?

SPEAKER_01 14:42

I kind of research online. Uh, honestly, the producers I've worked with have been referrals. So it has been my people who I trust and I love their sound or I've heard their songs that have come out. I will go and and kind of it's sort of like an interview, but more like a let's see if we vibe with each other. Like, what am I looking to do? All right, you're going in this, okay. This is a cool working relationship. Let's go.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Can you tell, like, when there's chemistry, like when you first sit down with a producer, like, okay, yeah, we vibe, or does it take time?

SPEAKER_01 15:10

I'm a big um energy reader. So I'm an empath and I can just sense energies right away. I know if like I will get along, I want to pull forward. If I won't get along with you, I want to do this.

SPEAKER_00 15:20

Okay, well speaking of energies, let's make a transition here to some dating questions.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Let's do it.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Okay. Um, so just overall, what are your current thoughts on the modern dating market?

SPEAKER_01 15:33

I hate it. I am not for these parts.

SPEAKER_00 15:35

Okay, please explain.

SPEAKER_01 15:36

Okay. Um, I j especially in Las Vegas, I think it is just not for the week. It is a shit show out there. I think people are men, no offense, are not are not acting like men lately. No, I think. They're they're very feminine now. I agree. The bare minimum is asking too much now.

SPEAKER_02 15:58

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 15:59

Responding to people is asking for too much. Um, they invite you out on a date and allow you to pay. It's I'm like, you in you invited this person out. And and that's just something that's extremely common right now.

SPEAKER_00 16:13

Well, I I would say to you that there are still men out there that want to be men that will invite a woman out and and want to take the lead, want to pay, want to plan a date. Those guys still still are out there. I'm I try to bring them on the show as as much as possible.

SPEAKER_01 16:29

Where are you guys?

SPEAKER_00 16:30

So I I I do want to say to you that, yeah, men see that too.

SPEAKER_01 16:34

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Um, there are still a lot of masculine, masculine men out there, but there's a lot of divisive content on social media. Yeah. And I think that men are trying to approach women, they're trying to make a positive impact. They're going about it the wrong way, which is why I want to have this show, right?

SPEAKER_02 16:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:49

So I do, I I love your your answer there because I I do want the guys out there to to hear that. Like, be a man, like a woman, like you, you you want to be a woman.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:01

You don't, you don't want to have to act like a man.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Exactly. Thank you. Yes. This is what I talked to all the girls about.

SPEAKER_00 17:08

Would you, would you say that that's probably one of your biggest pain points in modern dating?

SPEAKER_01 17:12

Yeah, it really is. Like, I mean, I it I you're right. I don't want to have to be the man. I'm the one who's building things and I'm doing this, and I'm and I'm like, wait a second, how did these roles reverse?

SPEAKER_00 17:23

Right. And so that's that's a huge, you know, we'll get into that off off camera, but there is a reason why I believe that that's happening. But I I I will tell you, like, don't lose, you know, hope. There are there are a lot of men.

SPEAKER_01 17:36

I am really on the edge of hope being lost.

SPEAKER_00 17:38

No, the the man you want is out there. I'm on I'm gonna tell you that. Um we we just gotta make it clear um what the proper approach is for a woman like like you, right?

SPEAKER_02 17:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:49

Um so with that said, can you just give us some of the traits that you would most prioritize in a man? We we know you want like a strong alpha male, but past that, what are some other traits that would make a good impression to you?

SPEAKER_01 18:04

Honestly, somebody who's funny. I love I love laughing, and I'm funny, so we need, you know, we need to laugh together. Also, a huge thing for me, and I'm realizing a void in this as well, or big gap, is uh somebody who knows the difference between honesty and transparency. And it seems a lot of people think that is the same thing, and it is not. Honesty is I ask you, what'd you do today? And you're like, I went to the store and I did this. Yeah, okay. You went to the store, you did that. Transparency is I went to the store, I ran into my friend from college at the store, we went and had a beer, and then I came home. Like you, you don't leave things out when you're transparent and you don't wait for the questions to be asked. You offer the information, and guys just don't know that. So that's a very positive trait for somebody to have.

SPEAKER_00 18:49

Okay. That okay, so let's stay here for a second. Yeah. Because this is this is important. So you want transparency from men. My response to you on that one is gonna be men are not going to be transparent, especially up front, because when you're too transparent, that may push you away. Okay. If if if you're talking to a guy and you know, he has you see potential and you're you're potentially into him, right? And he's he's in you.

SPEAKER_01 19:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:14

And maybe he's already talking to somebody else. He's not gonna be transparent and say, hey, Harmony, um, I know that we're talking right now, but I'm also seeing this other girl.

SPEAKER_02 19:21

Right.

SPEAKER_00 19:22

If he tells you that, you may say, okay, well, go be with her then. Or, you know, I you're gonna talk to me or you're you're gonna talk to them, like pick one, right? He he's not gonna risk you un until he can make a decision, okay, which one do I want to fully get commit to, right? So I think that is a common misunderstanding between men and women nowadays.

SPEAKER_01 19:43

But I think I would respect him more if he did actually say that personally. Me personally. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:48

You you would. And I tell guys all the time, you're gonna get fur further by telling the truth.

SPEAKER_01 19:53

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 19:54

And and to to the guys watching, I, and this may come off as like toxic, but to guys, if you can prove that there are other women that want you to, that's just gonna help your case. And so if you if you tell the truth, you'll she'll respect the fact, okay, he actually told me. And you build equity, you build trust.

SPEAKER_01 20:11

I really do.

SPEAKER_00 20:12

Most men aren't gonna do that though, because because you you you put yourself at risk. Well, are you talking to somebody else? Okay, well, we'll go be with her.

SPEAKER_01 20:19

Yeah, out of it's fear-based.

SPEAKER_00 20:20

And I think for men, it's harder to get the opportunity to talk to a beautiful woman. Whereas women, men are typically, they should, the alpha male should be approaching you. They should be coming up to you and making that first move.

SPEAKER_01 20:36

But they don't do that either nowadays. So I'm telling you, it's weird.

SPEAKER_00 20:41

And and yeah, so I all all all your comments I totally agree with. I I just want to give the the man's point of point of view too. So, with like I call it cold approach, like meeting meeting people out in public, right? A lot of men get embarrassed and and they hold on to negative experiences, right? So if it goes bad once or twice, now like there's a there's a lot more ways that it could go bad for a guy than it can go good, especially in public. And you don't want to get embarrassed, right? I can only imagine when when men see when women like like you out there, it's gotta be a perfect situation. I gotta be standing on the elevator or you walk in and it's just us, and now I I can shoot my shot. If it's not like as clean as that, a lot of guys aren't aren't going to do it, right?

SPEAKER_02 21:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:24

And so now with the feminine overtones that are being pushed out there, a lot of guys are like, oh, well, the woman should come up to me first, and you know, she wants to make money and she wants to live her own life. So if she wants to talk to me, she should come up to me. Wrong mindset, but that's how guys guys are thinking now, right? So I I tell guys all the time you you need to build attraction first. You need to be your best self. You need to go to the gym, you need to try and be successful, you need to be aspirational, you need to wear nice clothes, you need to smoke good, you need to like try to like have like build attraction first and then help yourself. Because if you start doing that, that's how you build confidence. And if you go up to a woman, listen, it may not go great every time, but at least you have a concrete answer, either she's into you or not. And you can move forward. You don't have to guess and wonder, right? True. I think a lot of men are like, well, what do women want? They want a man to buy them flowers. And so they go buy flowers and it doesn't go anywhere. And now they resent women. Whereas women want flowers from a guy that they're attracted to. So you need to be attractive first and then please get the flowers and do all that stuff.

SPEAKER_01 22:24

Yes, but they don't work on themselves first. They don't. They don't.

SPEAKER_00 22:26

And that's that's my number one issue.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 22:29

And this is again, this is why I wanted to start this platform. This is very, very important. Because you would expect you would respect a guy. He doesn't have to have it all figured out, but if he's aspirational, you can see the path that he's on.

SPEAKER_01 22:41

100%. He's trying. Try.

SPEAKER_00 22:43

Yeah. Then like at least you would respect him more and give him an opportunity. I'm not saying that, you know, you guys are gonna like get married, but at least you'd be open to giving him the opportunity. Yeah. Right. As opposed to a feminine guy that's trying to talk to you, you and correct me if I'm wrong, you would rather be in a more submissive role to a strong man that you respect as opposed to leading a weak man.

SPEAKER_01 23:10

Yeah, I mean, I'm a strong woman myself also. So I feel I mean, I would want to be equal with my partner, but yes, I just don't want to need to run the entire show all the time. I want him to also contribute, you know. I felt like in my r last relationship it was he was able to grow and learn and he was becoming better because of things I was offering and teaching and providing. And I realized and even had the talk with him where I was just like, I'm not growing with you. You're not, you're not able to unfortunately to teach me anything that I don't already that I can't do myself. But your your takeaway is so much from what I'm offering and providing. And that that was just unattractive to me.

SPEAKER_00 23:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:53

And I like that.

SPEAKER_00 23:54

Yeah. The the man needs to be a net positive to your life. You you have a great life as is. If you're gonna be in a relationship, he needs to be adding value to your life.

SPEAKER_01 24:01

Yes, hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 24:02

Okay, and I I I don't think that that's asking too much. So I I feel like people like that should be the standard. No one should be in a relationship because you don't you fear being alone. Yeah, or you just you just want to be in a relationship. Well, I have to be married by this age or whatever it is. No. Like build a life that you're happy with by yourself. And if you meet someone, they add value. So you win either either way.

SPEAKER_01 24:22

That's how it is. And I think a lot of guys also, though, unfortunately, there's um there's this thing where you don't feel good enough when you're with a person. And with what I do for a job or you know, being seen by a lot of people or singing to people, anything like that. For some reason there's an inadequacy that's that's felt. Not that you're making people felt but feel, but it's something within themselves that they don't feel good enough a lot for a certain type of a person, and that can affect your relationship greatly. There's no confidence.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

I I couldn't agree more with that. But I think people, if if if a person thinks you're too good for them, then you probably are. And and that that may come across the wrong way. But I I think that, especially for someone like you, I think that if if a guy thinks that you're better than him, you probably are. So I think that you should find a guy that has that confidence. Just like, okay, no, like come come with me. I'm I'm gonna lead us and we're both gonna be a power couple, we're gonna build together. I don't that's not that hard. That's not too much to ask. No, it's not too much. It's not hard. That's why I'm telling you, like I'm kind of getting a vibe that you're kind of like losing faith in like the dating market.

SPEAKER_02 25:32

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 25:32

I I would tell you, don't don't look in this face. The the guy you want it is is out there, right? But there's there's just so much of a disconnect and miscommunication between men and women, right, right?

SPEAKER_01 25:45

There really is.

SPEAKER_00 25:46

And I think that's the biggest problem. I think that if we can get aspirational women and aspirational men to know that the person you want is out there and they want the same thing that you do. I know so many great guys, so many successful, confident, strong guys, all they want is a wife and a kid to play catch with in the front yard. That's all they want.

SPEAKER_01 26:08

Where are they?

SPEAKER_00 26:09

But but they they they think that they're never gonna get that. So then what do you do? You you go the other way, you buy into the garbage that's on social media and be like, listen, I'm I'm gonna try and get as many women as I can. I'm gonna do the bare minimum and try and get as much as possible, get as rich as I can, and just go that route. Where it's like, no, like you don't you don't have to have them have the mindset. And that's not really what they want to do either. Like most men don't really want that.

SPEAKER_02 26:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Right? Most men want a family that they can provide for and protect. Have have have something to go out in in the world and be great for, right?

SPEAKER_02 26:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

But there's so many guys that are losing faith. And so what are they doing? They're gonna play video games or they're not gonna work hard. There's no aspiration because like for what? I don't have a chance with like the girl that I want. She's not out there. So I'm just gonna like, you know, if you lead men to their own vices, they're gonna stay at home and play video games. Yeah. And that's that's where we gotta make make a change.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

I agree. Couldn't agree more.

SPEAKER_00 27:03

What what does a man need to understand before dating a woman like you?

SPEAKER_01 27:08

You would need to understand that I am very strong, I am very independent, um, and my career means the world to me. So I want somebody kind of like you said, that just compliments the lifestyle that is supportive, that is my rock, my partner who keeps me grounded and vice versa. You just you want to lift each other up and just understands that that's my job and that's my personal life. Like they're those are two separate things, you know, but you can also be supportive of it.

SPEAKER_00 27:39

Do you would you prefer a man that's also in the music industry too, or does that like no matter? Do you oh no, no?

SPEAKER_01 27:44

Okay, oh no.

SPEAKER_00 27:47

No more of those. Oh no, wait, why wait, why you say like that? No more of those.

SPEAKER_01 27:52

No, that it you can't have no, you can have two people in the limelight. You can't.

SPEAKER_00 27:58

Okay, it's can you can you please go go deeper on this?

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Like, like there's always this like power battle, power struggle, power like trust me, I've tried it. I've tried the actors, I've tried the musicians, I've tried singers, um photographer, all of it. It just doesn't work because you're too you want to be alike to some degree, but it works better when you have one person who is in the limelight who is after that, and the other person who wants nothing to do with it but is so supportive of it.

SPEAKER_00 28:32

Okay, that's what works. All right, wait, so now I'm curious. Okay. So this is by trial and error. Okay, no, and and I I love that and I I understand that. Okay, so like let's let's you know, let's take Harmony's hypothetical, like great, perfect guy, the guy that you dream about at night, right?

SPEAKER_02 28:49

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 28:49

Like, let's take that guy, let's let's say that he's out here in the world.

SPEAKER_02 28:53

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:53

What's the lowest level of success that he would have and you would still date him seriously? Like, are we talking about this guy could work at like Home Depot or something, and then you'd you date him, or like what what level can can he still command your respect? Yeah. So he he ideally you don't want to, and correct me if I'm wrong. So he shouldn't be in the music industry. You you said actors, so like we we don't want anyone that's like has a high level of like notoriety and fame. Is is that accurate?

SPEAKER_01 29:21

Yeah, that's accurate.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

Okay, that's that's interesting. That's not the answer that I would have expected.

SPEAKER_01 29:27

I don't want it.

SPEAKER_00 29:28

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 29:28

So then I don't want I want the behind the scenes person. I don't want the This is interesting. I need all the attention type person. Like, no, uh we got a balance. We gotta balance there's only one, there's already one of us in that field, you know.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

So, so if he has like a normal job.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

Yeah, oh my gosh, he could be, you know, he could be a lawyer or work at all right wait, hold on, that's not a normal job, though.

SPEAKER_00 29:54

All right, hold on. So, so okay, so I mean, not like I'm gonna do that. So this is why I'm interested to hear your answer. What is let's let's just have for the purposes of this conversation.

SPEAKER_02 30:10

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:11

This man checks like like all your boxes.

SPEAKER_02 30:13

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:14

Okay. But his occupation, his income, and his job.

SPEAKER_02 30:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 30:18

What's the lowest we can go on the proverbial totem pole for you to still respect him, not belittle him and still be okay being in a puddle relationship with him? Yeah. Could he work at Home Depot?

SPEAKER_01 30:31

If he worked at, I wouldn't, I don't mind where he works. So Home Depot would be totally fine, but he would need to be able to have a home, a a car, pay his bills, and be able to travel with me and like do fun things. If he can do that, awesome.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

If he has a smaller house than you, is that okay? If he has a lesser car than you.

SPEAKER_01 30:54

Yeah, that's fine. Uh as long as he can still provide, as long as you're also providing in the relationship, not me taking care of everything.

SPEAKER_00 31:01

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 31:02

That's what would matter to me. Not like I need to pull my cart out, which I've experienced already, and pay for if we want to go on a trip, I gotta cover the trip.

SPEAKER_00 31:11

You literally just read my mind. Because that's where I was about to go next. Okay, so where I was going with that is dude at Home Depot, you you probably make more money than him. Yeah. So it's like, okay, you're expecting him to provide if you want to take a nice trip to the Maldives or something, and he he can't afford it, then I feel like you would not not intentionally.

SPEAKER_02 31:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

And I don't want to make it because women get a, especially in Vegas, women get a bad rap for being like superficial and like money hungry and all that. And I tell dudes all the time, well, you don't need to worry about that until you actually have money for them to take. But but every guy thinks these girls are trying to take all my money. Oh my God. But at the same time, there's a certain quality of life that you've already established for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 31:55

Yes. That's more so what you're saying.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

You should not date down and date a man that isn't at least living at the same level that you can provide for yourself.

SPEAKER_01 32:04

I don't want a person who cannot provide the life I provide for myself. I'm used to a certain standard that I work hard to do. So it's not about the person. It doesn't mean that's a bad person or that I don't find them attractive or funny or any of those, but I just know that I want certain things. And I, like you said, want if I want to go to the Fiji, if I want to go do that, I don't want to have to be the person doing I want him to do that.

SPEAKER_00 32:25

No, your man should be able to take you to the case. Yes, and go with me.

SPEAKER_01 32:28

Just be like, hey, I want to take a trip. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 32:29

That's all. My my only pushback to this though is I feel like you're putting yourself in a box because for a guy to have that level of success, to be able to do that, I feel like he's gonna have some sort of level of notoriety. Like if he's a lawyer, if he is a stockbroker or something, like there is a point where I feel like in order to be that successful, people are are there's a good chance people are gonna know who he is. So, so it's it's like, do you like, I guess my question is this what level of fame is a turnoff? Like, how famous are we talking? If he's if he's known like just locally and in town, and let's say he he's a top lawyer in in Las Vegas.

SPEAKER_01 33:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

So like around here, like people know him. But if you go to Fiji, no one cares. No one knows.

SPEAKER_01 33:14

I don't think it's necessarily the level of fame because I've dated famous people, I've dated well-known people, I've dated rich people. It's more um from my experiences, people in limelight situations who are, say, not very famous, but decently known, they have a need for attention. That's where, and that causes that can lead to a lot of disrespect or inappropriate situations in a relations when you're in a relationship. That's my experience.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

That's a good answer, but that's why.

unknown 33:43

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 33:44

So it's not about famous or not famous. It's about individual, like it's about the mentality of my experiences with people who have been well known.

SPEAKER_00 33:54

You don't want a man that's a diva.

SPEAKER_01 33:56

No. And you can be extremely famous, but if you have morals and values in the way that I do and we align on that, and you don't care about the attention, you're not the type that's giving into the attention just because you know you're good looking and you're successful and people are throwing themselves at you. If you have morals boundaries and you never cross lines and your girl, and which is me, is your whole world, very different. Then that's a yes. Okay. That's fine.

SPEAKER_00 34:20

And I love that. And you're you you'll find that. I I okay. I understand now. And that that makes that makes a lot of sense. Okay. Um, last question.

SPEAKER_01 34:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:29

If you could play one of your songs for someone you were falling for, what song would it be and why?

SPEAKER_01 34:34

You know, I'm gonna have to go with my song called Valentine's Day. The reason would be it is all about love, but the message is more just I'm gonna love you for the rest of my life. And it's not just on Valentine's Day. That's not the only day you're gonna feel love. You're gonna feel it every day. I'm gonna get you the things that I would get you on Valentine's Day randomly just because, just because I love you and and you don't need a holiday to love somebody.

SPEAKER_00 35:00

Love that.

SPEAKER_01 35:01

That that would be their song.

SPEAKER_00 35:02

And you wrote that song not from heartbreak.

SPEAKER_01 35:05

You wrote that song really you know what? That is one of my rare um not from experiences songs. So I wasn't, nope, that was not written for somebody, and I was not like in a happy relationship thinking about somebody when I wrote that. That was just one of those themed songs that I was just like, I love the message of this song.

SPEAKER_00 35:23

You know, that is interesting, right? Because yeah, everyone wants to go public with how much they're in love on Valentine's Day, but I I think that uh a man that knows his girl is trying to show him Valentine's Valentine's Day love every day.

SPEAKER_01 35:36

Every day.

SPEAKER_00 35:36

I mean, a man wouldn't want that.

SPEAKER_01 35:38

I know. And I and I am a lover, boys. I'm a lover. I love love. I'm a hopeless romantic. And so I love making my person feel wanted, adored, loved every day. Yeah. Every day.

SPEAKER_00 35:50

No, I I love it. Um I I would say to you, don't lose hope. Um, you're you're gonna find the man that you want. He he's out there. There are a lot of strong, confident, alpha males still out there that are looking for a woman like you. So don't don't lose hope.

SPEAKER_01 36:01

Okay. I'm waiting for y'all.

SPEAKER_00 36:03

Um listen, I appreciate you coming in today. How can people find you, all your social media? How do people listen to your music? Just plug all your brands.

SPEAKER_01 36:12

So Instagram is the best way to see my schedule, all of my upcoming releases, and all my funny little videos, my performance videos. It is Instagram.com forward slash harmony shay with an underscore at the end. You can listen to any of my songs. I got 13 released out right now that I wrote, and a new album coming this year. Just type Harmony Shea into any music platform. You can hear my music.

SPEAKER_00 36:36

Awesome. Love that. Are there any other uh topics you want to touch on before we get out of here?

SPEAKER_01 36:40

I feel like we did. We done good today. Okay. Your wine, this wine, my favorite wine.

SPEAKER_00 36:46

Well, listen, I wasn't expecting this. Okay, thank you.

SPEAKER_01 36:50

Some of my very favorite wine is elite level. What is elite level status name?

SPEAKER_00 36:54

Elite level status. Listen, um, I appreciate that.

SPEAKER_01 36:57

So good. We did a girls' night and the two bottles were gone. Let's just say that.

SPEAKER_00 37:02

I'm gonna be clipping this up and putting it on my social media. Yeah, you will see this. I love that. I appreciate that. Um, so yeah, thank you for coming in again. Um, I I think people are gonna love this. I think that um everything you said, I think is very relatable to women. And I think we definitely helped some guys out here understand what a woman like you is looking for and what she wants. So I think it's gonna be good.

SPEAKER_01 37:24

Do better, boys.

SPEAKER_00 37:26

Awesome, I love it. Elite Level Status Podcast. I'm your host, Will Scott, and we'll see you guys next time.