Why Is Modern Dating So Broken? - with Guest Blu Fouch

In this episode of the Elite Level Status Podcast, I sit down with Blu Fouch for her third appearance on the show and one of our most honest conversations yet about modern dating.

We start by discussing phone behavior in dating and whether keeping your phone face down should be considered a red flag. Blu explains why transparency matters so much to her and why a man being honest about dating other women can actually make her respect him more, not less. 

From there, we get into whether couples should live together, the difference between being a true partner and simply becoming someone’s roommate, and how cohabitation can expose immaturity, poor habits, and a lack of consideration. Blu shares how living with a partner once made her feel more like a mother than a girlfriend, and why maintaining your own life and individuality is still important inside a relationship.

The conversation then shifts into the biggest problems affecting the modern dating market. Blu reveals that she has gone on more than 60 dates in a year but genuinely liked only a few of them. She explains the patterns she sees in men who have not healed, constantly jump from one relationship to the next, and use new women to avoid being alone.

We also debate why so many good men never receive the opportunity to prove themselves, why women may overlook average men who would treat them well, and how men can create attraction through healthy consistency, confident persistence, genuine effort, and intentional courtship.

We close by discussing the importance of building a fulfilling life before expecting another person to complete it. A healthy relationship should add value to an already meaningful life, not become the only source of happiness, identity, or purpose.

This episode is thoughtful, honest, and guaranteed to create debate. Let us know in the comments: Are women overlooking good men, or do men need to do a better job creating attraction?

Make sure to like, comment, subscribe, and share the episode with someone who needs to hear this conversation. 

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Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

A common pattern that I'm finding is that these men have not healed. And I know guys are like, I don't know what that means. It means that you have not put all of your eggs in your basket. You, you'll end one thing, situationship, girlfriend, whatever, and then you immediately want to go to the next girl. I have met so many guys. They've gone like I've I it blows my mind that they really will not be alone. It's crazy. And I'm like, wow, you guys are so codependent. Like men, they cannot be without women.

SPEAKER_00 0:42

We're back again. Remember, you can catch us on Apple, Spotify, and YouTube. Today's guest, she's back for the third time. Her name is Blue. Thanks for coming in.

SPEAKER_02 0:51

Hi, thanks for having me again. So fun.

SPEAKER_00 0:54

So, okay, so we have um uh a list of some interesting questions today. So the first one I want to jump right into. Let's say in a hypothetical world, um, you're dating a guy, he's your boyfriend, and every time he's with you, he has his phone face down. Face down. Is that an issue? Is that a non-issue? What are your thoughts?

SPEAKER_02 1:20

It definitely would make me curious as to why you don't have your phone like face up. Yeah. But it probably wouldn't pique my interest to where I'd want to be like nosy about it unless we were on like month two of dating.

SPEAKER_03 1:35

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 1:36

So if we're in month two and we've discussed that either we're seeing other people while we're dating or we're not, would make me wonder what you're doing. Cause if we said, hey, we're casually dating people, I'm still seeing other people while then I probably wouldn't care that much.

SPEAKER_03 1:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:49

But if he had made it a point to be like, I'm only exclusive seeing you, and then you keep doing that, I'm gonna wonder, is it because you don't want someone's name to pop up? Which I think also too, you can just silence your phone, like turn off your like notifications. So I don't really know why people do that now. Cause I'm more curious as to why your phone doesn't light up at all while we're together. So I'd prefer to see your phone light up at least once or twice while I'm with you. Cause if it doesn't at all, that's gonna make me wonder like Wow, that's interesting. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 2:22

Okay. And that's that's uh next level. Why it makes sense?

SPEAKER_02 2:27

I love transparency, I think for me, because I'm at a point now where uh I understand that just because you meet someone new doesn't mean everyone in their bucket like falls out. Yeah, I guess you could say. Uh, but I also am not gonna lie to you about what I have going on because for what?

SPEAKER_00 2:43

Right.

SPEAKER_02 2:44

But it seems to be that men just start off with the lie right away.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

I mean, and I've I've said this before, you know, men aren't gonna be forthcoming up front because you that may push you away.

SPEAKER_02 2:55

Well, if a woman's done all the work on herself from her last relationship and she didn't hop from relationship to relationship, it wouldn't push her away. It would actually build friendship and trust because he's being transparent and honest and it shows good character.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

Yeah, but most men don't won't know that though. No, and that's why. That's why I'm here to teach you.

SPEAKER_02 3:16

Yeah, so that's so listen, just the character is so sexy, and we see it through truth. And when you lie, it's like, so we would never actually be friends in real life. So why would why would I ever make you my boyfriend?

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Okay, this is an amazing point by you. So that you know, a lot of men withhold information, maybe they aren't totally forthcoming, or they lie for fear of they don't want to say something that may push you away. Where actually the opposite is true. If you just tell the truth, yeah. In your example right there, if a guy just told you, listen, I know we're dating, but I'm still I'm talking to this other girl too. Yeah, you will respect the fact that, okay, he told me the truth. Now you know, and you can make a decision whether you want to still talk to him or not.

SPEAKER_02 3:57

To me, it actually turns me on. I like it. Guys, there you go. That's I like it. I'm like, great. So you're desired by other women. That makes me more interested in you. Right. If you were talking to no one, I'd be like, so does no one like you? Is there something wrong with you larger than what I'm not seeing right now?

SPEAKER_00 4:14

Right. I mean, I think that's an excellent point. I think most men don't realize that. But again, that's why we have the show. Okay. Love that. Okay, next question. Do you think relationships would last longer if people did not live together? Because when you live together, you get to see the worst in your partner.

SPEAKER_02 4:40

I have lived with someone before, and I knew before we moved in together that it wasn't the right time because the maturity wasn't there. And when I moved in with this person, I became like mother figure and it turned me off. So I'll just say that really depends on the maturity level. If you both know what it takes to contribute to a household and know that everyone has their role and how the house functions, then it could be a beautiful thing. Um, if you're looking to marry this person, I would say you probably should live with them because I don't I don't like to be caught off guard and I don't want to live with somebody that I have no idea what their mannerisms are, their cleanliness, like all the things. So yes and no, it's just gonna depend. If you are in your 30s, you've probably lived with somebody already by now. So you should know already, use your discernment on if this is gonna be a healthy move or not. But in your 20s, no.

SPEAKER_00 5:37

Okay. So so here's an interesting thing. And let me ask you this when you moved in with that guy, before you moved in, your relationship was going well or else you wouldn't have moved in with him, correct?

SPEAKER_02 5:46

Yeah. Well, I was older than him and I had lived with someone before him. I had an eight-year relationship before him and I dated. And we were back and forth in my 20s, living together, not living together. And I just hadn't hit maturity to understand what a partner is supposed to bring to the household.

SPEAKER_04 6:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:03

Right. So when he had mentioned, oh, maybe we'll it'll be better between us because we can see each other more and we come home to each other. It all sounds good in theory, but I am very much someone that loves my own space and learning to like co-hap, like co-live with somebody and they are used to living by themselves, it you will clash. You will clash. It's it's gonna happen. There's no avoiding it. There's no avoiding it.

SPEAKER_00 6:30

Okay, but this is this is why it's interesting to me, right? So your home needs to be your safe space. Yeah, your home needs to be a place where no matter what happens in the world, you can go to your home and it feels like a home. Yeah. People want to be in relationships, people ultimately want to get married and and all that. But if a lot of relationships, at least from what I can see, there are a lot of ways that a relationship, a good relationship, can fall apart once you move in with someone. It could be they are just leaving water on the sink after they wash their hands. Like just something like small and petty, right? But like small can become big a lot of times. And I feel like relationships crumble when people live live together because you're around each other more. So yeah, like you love each other, you're around each other more. Like you said, it sounds good in theory, it sounds good on paper.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

Well, do individuals know how to be a partner and not a roommate? Right? A roommate, I don't care if you leave toothpaste on the kitchen counter, or like not kitchen counter, but like I don't care about it. That would be crazy. Yeah, that would be crazy. But I mean, I don't care what you're doing on your side of your space because that's what you pay for. But if it's our space, um, I would like consideration that I live there too.

SPEAKER_04 7:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

And I'm not someone that doesn't pick up after myself. So for example, the kitchen is a common area for both of us to be in. You might have your own like powders that you do for the gym, and you might have your little corner that's messy. I'm someone that's okay with your little corner being messy. Just don't leave the rest of the kitchen messy. Like you have your own little space, and that's your space, and that's fine, and you just take care of that space. But everywhere else needs to be clean. And if you don't, and if you leave like, I don't know, just trash on the counter or you don't clean your dishes or whatever, and it looks like you don't love the home the way that I love the home, then it makes me feel like I'm taking care of you, which is not sexy.

SPEAKER_00 8:29

Is it ridiculous to have a long-term relationship where you don't live together?

SPEAKER_02 8:38

No. No. Um, I know a lot of people who spend the night at each other's houses, but do really enjoy going home to their own space. Yeah. And um, I think that's healthy. I don't, I really this is coming from someone who was super attached. Like I had a really bad attachment style a few years ago, and I've really worked on that. And what I've learned is you need to have your own life, your own friends, your own life, your own career, your own, your own everything. And your partner is supposed to bring like that much better added value. Yeah. So living together, it might take away from your individuality if you're not ready for that commitment of being like partner and not roommate.

SPEAKER_00 9:24

Yeah, love that. Okay. Speaking of added value, um, let me ask you this question. Would you rather have a man that undeniably adds value and makes your life better when you're with him, but he's seeing other women or would you rather be alone?

SPEAKER_02 9:47

You can't be black or white with that question because what value is he adding to my life that I'm lacking that I need in that moment? And that's in that like chapter of my life. For example, I have had someone like that. I guess you call them situationships or something. Um, but I think every person comes into your life for a reason. So, like I said, if he was transparent and said, I'm not really just about seeing one person, but I enjoy your company, and him and I have so much fun together. Me, I'm okay with that.

SPEAKER_00 10:19

You're okay with that.

SPEAKER_02 10:20

I'm okay with you seeing other people.

SPEAKER_00 10:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 10:22

When it comes to intimacy and things like that, that is something that we would have to discuss, right? If that was something I was doing with you. But I I just love transparency. Yeah. So, and I really truly I don't really feel like there's any man that just sees one person at a time. Right. You know, unless they just know exactly what they want and they don't lead with lust.

SPEAKER_00 10:45

Right. So I just listen, I I just love your point of like when when men are transparent with you, yeah, that that actually you hold them in a higher regard.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

Yeah, it shows your character as a man. You're um about honesty, integrity, all the things that a husband, a good boyfriend, a good partner in life, a man that's good for life, yeah, will do for you.

SPEAKER_03 11:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:11

A man that sits there and paints this fantasy of your ideal person and then executes something different behind your back is not a good partner, not a good person, not a good friend. Yeah. And you can't have a partner unless you guys are friends, right?

SPEAKER_00 11:26

So Yeah. I I just really want to drive that point home because I think the majority of men who don't know any better are like, I would never tell a girl I'm talking to that I'm seeing another girl, she's gonna be like, Well, go be with her then. I'm not talking. This is we're done. And you don't want that. So they hide to try to, you know, be like, hey, I'm only talking to you because they think that's what you want to hear.

SPEAKER_02 11:46

That's a red flag though, because if a woman, everyone is entitled to their own way of dating, but if a woman says to a man who's telling her the truth and she reacts to him like that, you don't want her around anyway. Okay. She's not gonna be able to handle any adversary ever in life. She's gonna be, she's gonna think that everything's supposed to be great all the time, and that's not how relationships work or the world works. So that would be for a man, I'd be like, actually, I'm cool off you. I just want to see what you were gonna say. And I'm a big person on that. I might say something to you and not mean anything by it. I just want to see your reaction to my transparency.

SPEAKER_00 12:25

You just want to check your temperature.

SPEAKER_02 12:26

Yeah, exactly. And men do temperature checks all the time. All the time. All the time. All the time. Yeah, you know, and I know when that's happening and I feel like I am not detached, but I have no expectation of any man that I meet over time. You as a man will create expectation for me.

SPEAKER_03 12:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:44

As you grow and move with me, or you don't, right? I mean, there's been a couple guys, I always tell guys, you have two days, two weeks, or two months with me. Right. Um, before I were either not compatible, there's no chemistry, or we just are just gonna be friends or whatever. Um it's hasn't there hasn't been many guys that have got past that with me. So Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:08

Love it. Loving your answers. Okay. Now this next one. I want me and you, Blue, to try and fix the dating market here. Okay. We're gonna do our best.

unknown 13:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 13:19

So here's my first question. Um, I believe that most women in modern dating, as they go through their daily life, for every 10 guys the normal woman sees, I think she's interested in maybe one. Two if she's like going crazy. But most women are like interested in like one out of every 10 guys they see. In your opinion, Blue, how many men out of every 10 that you see are you like, ooh, I wish he would talk to me, or ooh, I I want to see what he's about.

SPEAKER_02 13:47

Out of ten guys, um, yeah, I'll probably like one, but even in the ten and the one that I like, there's probably something that I don't know if I can get past.

unknown 14:00

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:00

Okay. So really is that closer to zero? It's like no one you see, you're like, ooh, wow, okay.

SPEAKER_02 14:06

Right. Okay. I mean, look, I've been out with, like I was telling you earlier, and I've been out with oh, in a year, okay, I've been out with over probably 60 different guys, um, dated and gone out with a lot of different kinds of guys. I am in this like mindset now where I want to like fall in love with someone's heart and not what I see on the outside. And so I'm I'm down to just like get to know somebody because your looks will go away at some point, right? They fade and you want to see someone's heart in their character. So I've gone out with a lot of different guys, and out of all that, I've maybe liked four.

SPEAKER_00 14:42

Okay, exactly.

SPEAKER_02 14:43

Out of like 60, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:44

Okay. So I respect the fact that you're not just like hoping and manifesting to meet a man. You're actually going out and taking action and trying to give guys a chance, which I feel like a lot of women don't even do that, right?

SPEAKER_02 14:54

It's exhausting. That's why okay.

SPEAKER_00 14:57

But here's the thing. So you've you've gone on a date with with all these guys, only four of them you've liked, right?

SPEAKER_04 15:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:05

Okay. So can we say that probably the biggest issue in modern dating is that the majority of women just simply aren't interested in men?

SPEAKER_02 15:19

Well, because they're just a lot. Like out of all the guys that I've gone out with, I see a common, there's a common pattern, and patterns don't lie. Okay, right. Yeah, the so a common pattern that I'm finding is that these men have not healed. And I know guys are like, I don't know what that means. It means that you have not put all of your eggs in your basket. You, you'll end one thing, situationship, girlfriend, whatever, and then you immediately want to go to the next girl.

SPEAKER_03 15:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:48

I have met so many guys, they've gone like I've I it blows my mind that they really will not be alone. It's crazy. And I'm like, wow, you guys are so codependent, like men, they cannot be without women. And they will, I know one guy who's been engaged three times. So like once one relationship doesn't work out, he goes to the next girl and he gets engaged with her. And I'm like, what is wrong with you? Like, do you know what I mean?

SPEAKER_04 16:13

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:14

And because you feed the same fantasy to the same bracket, age group of girls are falling for it.

SPEAKER_03 16:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:19

But you will not dare come at a woman who's your age or older with that crap because they're not gonna fall for that.

SPEAKER_03 16:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 16:27

So that's the problem. You're going for girls who are going to believe what you say because they're younger than you, yeah, or they're delusional, or they believe, and so there's like this vicious cycle of us having the same type of relationships with different bodies, and nothing's progressing, everything is staying exactly the same.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Okay. And I I love that, and I can definitely see where you're coming from. But even to that, I want to take a step back because even with the guys that haven't healed, they were given the opportunity to show you that they haven't healed yet.

SPEAKER_02 17:03

Sometimes you can't tell though. Sometimes they put on a really good or they've practiced covering up their feelings, right? And I it's sad too, because it's like they don't know what they need to do to heal. And healing is actually filled with a lot of tears. I know men have a hard time with emotion.

SPEAKER_04 17:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

But tears are healing, tears heal, and men do need to cry. You need to cry it out. Cry it out, whatever it is that broke your heart, whoever it is that broke your heart, and you need to recover from that and do all the things that would make your energy so much better to like offer to someone who has done all the work.

SPEAKER_00 17:44

Right. And and I I hear you, but I I think my point is is that whether he needs to heal or whatever his issue is, you gave the guy an opportunity to go on it to take you on a date so that you could discover, okay, maybe he needs to heal, maybe he's jumping from relationship to relationship. So my my issue is the step before all of this. What does a man need to show to you to give him the opportunity to take you on a date? Right.

SPEAKER_02 18:15

Healthy consistency. Healthy consistency. Not I'm horny and I want you to come over and like watch TV with me and like smoke a joint, you know. Okay. It's what do you like to do that would allow me to get to know you? Because men fall in love with the things that they do for you. Right. Okay. So it's like if a man put forth effort like that, I'd be like, oh, you're in the space of wanting to court me.

SPEAKER_03 18:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

Right. Which a lot of men don't want to. They don't want to put their car. They I get it, right? They're just like, Why do this for every girl? Like and spend my money. Okay, but don't do it for every girl. You need to know the sp the specific type of girl that you would do it for because she's like, hey, like, I love your company. Like, let's hang out, let's go do something fun. Let's go do something that probably doesn't cost a lot of money, but we get to spend time together.

SPEAKER_00 19:08

Okay. Yes. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 19:09

And I get to know you. So if a man was willing to do that with me, I'd be like, okay, you are emotionally available, or at least in the headspace of being that way.

SPEAKER_00 19:19

Okay. And then you'd be interested in just to go on a date with her.

SPEAKER_02 19:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:23

That that is what I'm looking for.

SPEAKER_02 19:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:25

Okay. So here's here's my thing. Most men you see off off rip, you're not interested in. If we could get more men to understand what you just said. Um that that confident consistency of not being like, hey, come over to my house and you know, let's smoke or or or whatever.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:49

If if you could kind of make that approach of doing your research, trying to figure out what she'd beat me into, and you may need to be persistent. You may need to try a couple of times in order to get the job done.

SPEAKER_04 20:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:01

But I think that if men can understand that, because what's gonna happen is this 90% of the guys are gonna see this are gonna be like, I'm emotionally available. I'll open the door for you.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Yeah, they are that's not being emotionally available. Like emotionally available, that's not what that is.

SPEAKER_00 20:14

Well, well, but but men, men are just looking at it like whatever your complaint is, 90% of the guys believe that they can fix that complaint or they don't have that issue, but they're never gonna be given the chance to prove that to you because you're just simply not interested in them.

SPEAKER_04 20:30

And the same goals for for men too.

SPEAKER_00 20:33

Same go go for men too. Like, I'm I'm not trying to like put women in in the light of like women aren't interested in like men too, but I I believe for men, the average, you know, out of every 10 women that a guy sees, the number that he's interested in isn't one. It's it's it's higher than that. It's higher than that. But but my my point is is that we need to get more men in the nine out of ten that don't pique your interest. We got to teach them how to pique your interest so that there's more good men. Because my honest belief is that the majority of men are great guys that will worship the ground that you walk on. They would do everything you they they have loyalty, open doors, all of that, but they're never gonna get a chance to show that because you're not interested in them. So what happens is that people are like the dating market's trash and all of this, and men get, you know, the the complaints of what women say, and the majority of men watch and say, well, that's not me, and it's not you, but you're never gonna get a chance to show that because women aren't interested in you. The things that women say are coming from that guys that they date from or coming from that guys that they give the opportunity to show who they are.

SPEAKER_02 21:46

Question though are they talking to their type or are they talking to someone that's out of their league?

SPEAKER_00 21:53

I think both. And I and I I I think that I think even the moderate woman, right? Like in in this may this Kind of shadow, but just to per prove my point, I think a woman that is a five or a six wants a man that's like an eight, nine, or ten. I I I I do like on the physical aspect or like with money, what whatever you you believe, whatever your scale is, I don't think it matters, whether it's looks, success, height, what whatever.

SPEAKER_02 22:22

What do you consider five or six for a woman? What does a five or six look like?

SPEAKER_00 22:26

Super average, super average, and not attractive.

SPEAKER_02 22:29

Okay, and I'm just gonna say this I find that a lot of men will go more for so my perspective is that men want more average or they'll settle for average.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

No, and you you're right.

SPEAKER_02 22:39

Yeah, because it's like the they're like easier, but but but the average woman doesn't want them.

SPEAKER_00 22:45

That's my point. The the average woman won't take won't take the average guy. That that's literally my point.

SPEAKER_02 22:51

No, but I I find that I meet men though who are not average that end up with the average girl. I've met a lot of men who end up with the average girl because she's nice, she's sweet, she's nice. A lot of men tell me, I just want a nice woman, you know?

SPEAKER_00 23:05

A lot of men just want the woman.

SPEAKER_02 23:07

I want yeah. I and like I wonder if they want a woman because they want a co-pilot, right? They want someone to help them drive their life in the right direction, or do you just want a woman to show off to your friends?

SPEAKER_00 23:21

I um I'm gonna just tell you this from a man's perspective. Women have no idea how many men are absolutely lonely with zero options, with nothing. Women, women, you're you're lonely because you're not interested in any other option. If if you wanted a guy, if you wanted to be in a relationship or a date, you could. Yeah, the majority of men literally are lonely, literally don't have any options. Yeah, no one is interested at all. So that to me is pure lonely loneliness, pure loneliness, right? And so the majority of men will take an average, will take something that you don't understand why he's with her, because he's happy to have something. And I think to women, you can understand that because yeah, women are are are lonely, but it's it's different.

SPEAKER_02 24:05

We are lonely. Like the times that I felt lonely, I guess it's because like I'll I'll meet guys and I'll be like, oh yeah, like you're great, but you're not great for my life. Yeah. Like you're not gonna compliment my life, but you're great, you'll you'll be great for someone else, right? Like I'm such a I have something so I have something so specific that I want. And it's it's like, oh, don't lower your standards. I'm not lowering my standards, but there's always room for improvement. And if a woman doesn't like humble herself, like there's beautiful women everywhere, right? Finding a beautiful soul and like someone that's like, you're maybe not everything that I want, but the way that you treat me is everything I could have ever asked for.

SPEAKER_03 24:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 24:46

That's those are the women that I think um get overlooked a little bit, right? Like, you know, like I I I've met great guys, and I'm not everyone's type, right? But they are looking for this fantasy. Yeah. Like hot girl, makes them look good when they go out, looks good in their, you know, Ferrari, whatever.

SPEAKER_03 25:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:06

Um, and it's like, yeah, cool. I guess I could be that for you, but I'm really looking more for someone that like wants to watch TV with me on a Friday night, wants to go out dancing with me, like someone I can have fun with, right? I'm not here for a trofe to be like your trophy. Right. And a lot of men that I come across want me as a trophy person. And I'm like, oh, they're so boring. Like, oh, they're so boring, you know? And that's why I end up lonely because I'm like, I'm not having fun with you. And I'm gonna pick the guy right now that's maybe doesn't have all the funds that I wish they had, but he shows me a good time, he takes care of me. When we go out, he looks out for me, and the chemistry's like mad crazy.

SPEAKER_03 25:45

Right.

SPEAKER_02 25:46

And we're having like the best time. Like we're literally having so much fun, right? And I want that guy as opposed to the guy who's I'm gonna pick you up in my bends. It's like, great, where are we going? No more fun, I bet. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 25:56

And but again, Blue, this is this is my point. The majority of men are the guy that you want. What what you just said that just want to sit there with you on a Friday night and watch a movie, go dancing with you. The majority of men out of the every 10 you see, I'm telling you, eight to nine of them are that guy. But they they can't get your attention.

SPEAKER_01 26:16

Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:17

You don't notice them. They may be your Amazon uh guy that drops off your package.

SPEAKER_02 26:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:22

They may be the guy that's working at Home Depot.

SPEAKER_02 26:24

For me, that I can only speak for me. I can't speak for other women. For me, I've dated the guy that I never thought I'd fall in love with, and I did. Right.

SPEAKER_00 26:32

Because now, how did that guy get an opportunity to go on a date with you, though?

SPEAKER_02 26:36

He came to my job every day, every time he, every shot he got, okay, and sat and ordered drinks. I was a server, and he came all the time and visited me. And so one day he was like, I just I want to take you out so badly, like I'll do anything to take you out.

SPEAKER_04 26:51

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 26:52

And after all of that consistency and persistence, I was like, holy smokes, this guy is really wants to take me out. And once we did go out, I it was him honing in on me and being like, You are everything I want, right? Like you're everything. That to me was like, wow, like you're that into me. So sexy.

SPEAKER_00 27:14

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 27:14

And then made me like want him more.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

I love that story because again, I think the majority of men are that guy that you just yeah, like just keep coming around and be sweet, you know?

SPEAKER_02 27:27

Don't be creepy, be sweet.

SPEAKER_00 27:30

And this to me is what's missing. This is how we fix the dating market. Yeah. Right here. The majority of men ladies are gonna act like that guy that you you just told us. That will that will literally just want to be everything that you want.

SPEAKER_02 27:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:49

That will be sweet, that will be kind, want want to see you happy. He may not have a bins, he may not have a private jet. But I'm learning that most women don't care about that. You'll need that.

SPEAKER_02 27:57

We don't.

SPEAKER_00 27:57

And I think to feel a certain way. Okay, exactly. And this is why I want to do this show. Now, to the guys watching, you may need to you call it confident persistence.

SPEAKER_02 28:08

Being confident, being persistent, being consistent.

SPEAKER_00 28:11

Consistent, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

You know, and just showing up for me without me having to ask. Yes. And slowly but surely being like, not a fan, but being like my biggest fan, right? Be like, I I believe in you, I cheer you on, you're a beautiful person. I love spending time with you. And I'm gonna say this there's it's very rare for me to like someone that I could see myself spending every day with. Yeah. Like I enjoy your company every day. I love being in your presence every day. I love laying next to you every day. That does not happen for me very often.

SPEAKER_00 28:45

And I love that, you know, I I think that women do want their man to have that healthy obsession with them that you know, you want your man to feel like you're my girlfriend.

SPEAKER_02 28:56

You know? Yeah, not crazy obsessed. Not like that movie, you know.

SPEAKER_00 29:00

Yeah, no, I and that's why I said not like that movie. A healthy obsession.

SPEAKER_02 29:04

Yeah, well, being functioning. Yeah, where he's like your guy's like, damn, my girl is so bad. Like everything she's gonna be.

SPEAKER_00 29:11

I can't believe that she's my girl.

SPEAKER_02 29:12

I can't believe she's my girl. And then it just creates this dynamic. Um, and I'll say, like, some men will tell me too, like, I'll get shot down, I'll do something cute, and then she doesn't like it. Okay, then she's not the one for you. Because the right girl's gonna be like, oh my God, you got me a flower. Like, I went on a date a couple weeks ago, and this guy don't let many guys pick me up for my house, but I let him pick me up, and he had a flower for me that he picked from his flowers that he grew. Yeah, and it was so sweet. And I was like, I love this, right? This is like, I don't really get that very much. And it was kind and it was like cost nothing, and it was memorable, right? And it put him in a position to be vulnerable. Um, like it takes courage to do that, right? I think a lot of guys are afraid because they get turned down. Absolutely, you know, and I feel so bad for that because it's like, no, women, good girls love it. We do, we love the flowers, okay? We love the cards or the flowers, we love the the what would you like to do tonight? I have a couple ideas. Which one do you like?

SPEAKER_00 30:09

Yeah, you know, yeah, make effort, plan something.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

Yeah, order for me, but ask me what I want. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:15

And so, and so listen, that's what I want to get across, man. Like to the guys watching, it it is gonna take some persistence. It is gonna take, you know, the right timing. But I think that so many men watch, especially, you know, the content online, and they see women complain and talk about how bad the dating market is, and they're looking at themselves like, I would never do that to you. And it could be anything from cheating to planning a date to whatever it is. The majority of men watch this and like, I I would do that for you. I I would literally be the man that you're saying that you want, but you won't give me a shot. Why won't you give me a shot? And so I think that's how we fix the any market. We we gotta show men how to get a woman's attention. Because as of right now, most women are going through life, and maybe one out of every 10 guys, you're gonna notice them and give them a shot. And there lies the problem.

SPEAKER_02 31:10

Right. But go for women that are in your league of emotional maturity. Like there's some, like I said, beautiful women that live here, and they're just like not intelligent at all, right? You're gonna get what you pick, right? So it's like you got to figure out as a man what you find attractive, what kind of woman you want by your side, and go for that. Go for that one.

SPEAKER_00 31:34

Yeah, but to to that point though, I think it takes experience to understand that for a guy. And again, like that that's the problem. Like you're 100% correct, but in order for a man to learn what what type of woman is best for him, he has to be given the chance to date some type of woman.

SPEAKER_01 31:53

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_00 31:53

Like, like they're and I I I think that gets lost because I think Are we talking about average guys?

SPEAKER_02 31:58

Are we talking about like really good looking guys with a lot of money?

SPEAKER_00 32:01

Like, the good looking guys with money don't have this issue. They're they're getting all the dates, they're getting all the experience. They're that they this isn't a factor for them. They're they're the one to two percent that that you'll actually notice.

SPEAKER_02 32:13

Yeah, but like the yeah, I guess for the things that you would want stability for, but I'm telling you, they're boring.

SPEAKER_00 32:21

Okay. They're boring. But but but how do you know they're boring? Because you gave them a chance at one point to take you out so that you know they're boring because you gave them a shot. Yeah. That's the only reason why you know he's boring.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

Well, yeah, I've been out with enough of them where now I don't need to go out with you. Okay.

unknown 32:36

Okay, right.

SPEAKER_00 32:37

But but you're able to talk from experiences that that that most of the men don't get. We're not in school anymore where I'm sitting next to a beautiful girl in class and I can talk to her every day.

SPEAKER_02 32:48

I know.

SPEAKER_00 32:49

Like a lot of guys purely just don't have a shot to talk to an attractive woman. You have a chance. When you're out in public, she doesn't notice you, don't be a creep. You try to DM her, she's not gonna read your DM. The majority of men purely don't have the experience to learn any of this stuff. So that's why that's how I believe we fix the dating market. We gotta give the majority of men the opportunity to talk to a woman.

SPEAKER_02 33:13

And we're gonna be able to do it. Women need to be more realistic about who they're picking. Like, I love that we're focusing on what men need to do, but women also need to get their head out of their butt, you know, and give the average guys and the ones that are showing up, they're hard workers, they show up. They may not drive the nicest car, but they will be there for you and are going to be supportive through me. All the things that you would want that other guy to be, but he's so full of himself.

SPEAKER_00 33:41

Okay, but let me ask you this though. Let me ask you this. If you're if you're a woman, um average. Now, average has a lot of different meanings, right? Not the prettiest girl, not the best.

SPEAKER_02 33:57

The cute girl.

SPEAKER_00 33:58

I I'm saying not even not even cute, right? Okay. Five to six on a proverbial one to ten scale. And let's say maybe a successful guy hooks up with you once or twice. Let's say a celebrity DMs you and tells you, hey, fly out here, come to my hotel, and you and you hook up with a celebrity. Do you think now, well, hold on, this celebrit flew me out, bought me flowers, took me to dinner? That's that's what I deserve. That that's the kind of guy that I could get. So now average guy that that's driving a Toyota and sells insurance, I'm not talking to him because this celebrity, you know, in me. Or this guy paid me $5,000 for some feet picks.

SPEAKER_02 34:36

And that's what we're and that's what that's the wall that we're hitting right now. Uh okay.

SPEAKER_00 34:40

Is it is is that woman gonna give the average guy a shot? But do we want that woman though? We do want that one. Okay, no, but we need we need to be given the opportunity to realize that. I know. So yeah, no, no, we don't want her.

SPEAKER_02 34:54

Yeah, we don't want her.

SPEAKER_00 34:55

But but to the guy that's not being given any opportunity, yeah, yeah. He just wants an opportunity. So he's gonna go up to that average woman. She tells him no. The pretty girl for sure doesn't give him a shot. So now he's sitting there by himself, and now we're gonna penalize him and call him a creep, a creep when he tries to talk to you. We're gonna call him a creep because he plays video games. We're gonna call him a creep because he stays at home, doesn't know how to dress, he doesn't know how to talk, doesn't know how to treat a woman because he's never gotten the experience or the opportunity to take a woman out. But that guy's a creep, right? Meanwhile, the successful guy's gonna get chance after chance after chance. But that guy is why the dating market sucks, because that guy gets 50 chances and he he gets away with acting like a fool because the good guy that's a creep, y'all, y'all not talking to him. And and that that creepy guy, that's a nine out of ten. And that that to me is why dating sucks for everybody. So I I I think that there lies the problem. Women want to be treated a certain way, as and as you told us uh a couple minutes ago. The majority of men would love to treat you like that. But for for whatever reason, and it's nobody's fault. I'm not trying to like paint this. No, I can't.

SPEAKER_02 36:04

This is just how everything has developed, right? And then we live in Las Vegas, so it's different here, and I tell people this like we have a very strange, not normal way of dating here because we have so much access to a lot of things, right? For me, what I've learned so far is that I've had the fun, right, with the fun rich guy. I think they're boring. Um, I've had the fun with the poor boy, right, who didn't have much to his name but was the best guy ever to me. I've had many different levels of this. And I'm just gonna say that I know my type because I've been able to date, right? So for a man to be able to know his type, every opportunity he gets, whether he gets shot down or not, is a learning lesson. Yeah. Because eventually it's like roulette, right? Eventually the ball's gonna land on the number that you want, and you will hit the girl that you are like, she's pretty enough, she's sweet enough, she shows up for me, she likes that I'm on the path that I want to go to, and she's not waiting for me to make it, right? And there's girls right now that they just want guys that have made it already, and that's great, but it's like the popular club, right? Takes work to get in, takes work to stay in. Yeah. I'd prefer to be with um like my type.

SPEAKER_00 37:24

No, and I I love that, and that's a great mindset, but you've gotten that mindset because of experience. Yeah, and that that's why guys, older guys, tend to talk like younger girls, because now they're finally getting the chance to take to get that experience that the woman has been able to get for for all these years leading up to that point, right? Oh yeah. So it's it's mismatched timelines, but I think this the conversation we've had today is how, in my opinion, the dating market gets fixed.

SPEAKER_02 37:50

So yeah, and hopefully at some point guys will learn that replacing the and like you know, it shows, right? Like I can tell when you're trying to just put me in this spot, right? Because you don't want to be by yourself. Yeah. So no matter what you throw at me, I'm not gonna, it's not gonna be attractive, right? I can also, I mean, I met a guy recently who was like, I'm looking for a wife, I'm looking for a partner in life, I'm looking for all these things, and he's a very introverted person, but was very vocal with me about what he wanted.

SPEAKER_03 38:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 38:23

And not a bad looking guy, right? Great job, you know, all the things. Um, and we were able to be so transparent with each other because of what I'm looking for. And our conversations have been so easy, right? So it's like when you do when men learn to be transparent and can deal with rejection uh or just know that, yeah, sometimes women will be like, well then go with her then. Cool, then I will, you know, and just learn that that chick wasn't for you no matter how bad she is, and you want her, her reaction to your transparency shows she's lack of maturity. Why do you want her? Yeah, you know, you want the girl, that should be the test, right? Next girl you go out with, say, hey, you know what? Um I love your company. I'm still like dating other girls. I hope I could take you out again. Watch the reaction from her. If she's like, uh, you know what I mean, then you're just not fit, right? She's not your fit. But if she's like, yeah, you know, I'm seeing other people too, and I like your company, and I hope that we have we can make time, right? To see each other, then the energy shifts, right? Because now he's making executive decision, you know, to like make time for her. So we're all busy. So if he says, Tuesday, I'd love to take you to dinner. If that goes well, maybe you're free on Friday to go do something fun. And that's how it builds little by little. Because you found the woman that's like, cool, like you let me know when you can make time for me, and then we're gonna hang out, right? And she has her own life and she's not sitting by her phone, like waiting for you. You don't want that girl. You don't want that girl for me. I'm busy and I'm running business, I have my own friend group. And I will say, from my past, I was so clingy to my ex, right? It was like so clingy to him. I suffocated him really truly and didn't allow him to be like his own person. And eventually that was my portion of it, led to like the demise of our relationship, right? Because I just didn't know how to have my own life. He was like so much of what I wanted and all every day. And now I'm like, I have my own life, my own friends, my own everything. So you coming into my world just makes it that much better. But with or without you, my life is great. And I didn't know how to do that. And I think men don't know how to do that. Like, you gotta know that your life is great, dude, without a female. Yeah. Like, you got your business, you got your money, you got your boys, you got your trips that you're doing, you have all these things you're looking forward to. And would it be great to have a great girl on your arm to take her to do these things with you? Sure. But it's a privilege to be with you, to be with a man like you. And she has to know that like being with a man like me is a privilege because I can offer you what that man can't.

SPEAKER_04 40:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 40:58

Right. And men, I think, don't think like that. It's like, no, it's you are up there.

SPEAKER_00 41:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 41:03

I love that. Love that.

SPEAKER_00 41:05

So yeah. Um again, um, great great conversation today.

SPEAKER_02 41:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:11

Um, I I appreciate you coming in. Can you uh plug you you you do own a business?

SPEAKER_02 41:16

I do.

SPEAKER_00 41:16

Can you uh plug that real quick? Tell us what what you do and how people can work with you.

SPEAKER_02 41:22

So I own and operate a mobile dog gaming business. I um have had it for about four years and it's great. I have you know a lot of experience. And you can find me on Instagram under pets or kids to uh LV. And um if you'd like me to give you an estimated cost for your pet, just send me a DM and I will hook you up.

SPEAKER_00 41:43

Love that. And I'll have that tagged when when I post this episode. So you're back for the third time. I appreciate you as always.

SPEAKER_02 41:49

It's always fun, it's always such a good time.

SPEAKER_00 41:51

Awesome. Yeah, so but I think we helped out a lot of people today. So as always, I appreciate you coming in. You offer great insight.

unknown 41:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 41:56

And uh, we're gonna definitely do this again.

SPEAKER_02 41:58

Oh, yeah, for sure. It'll be so fun. Always.

SPEAKER_00 42:00

Awesome. And I'm your host, Bill Scott, Elite Level Satus Podcast. See you guys next time.