Valli Gideons Sounds Her "Battle Call"

My Battle Call! Join me as I sit down with Valli Gideons for a real, authentic conversation about raising her two children with cochlear implants and how she turned her journalism background into her “Battle Call” to help families and professionals around the world.  Valli is a military bride, who writes about navigating through the fog of raising kids with cochlear implants and other things from the heart.  She provides inspiration for anyone through her freelance writing, webpage, speaking engagements, and social media.  Valli and her daughter, Harper, recently published a children’s book called “Now Hear this, Harper Soars with her Magic Ears” and can be purchased on Amazon or by reaching out to Valli directly for a signed copy.  To connect with Valli, follow her on FaceBook, Instagram, and her own webpage.  

https://mybattlecall.com/

https://www.facebook.com/MyBattleCall/

https://www.instagram.com/mybattlecall/

For more information about Dr. Carrie Spangler- check out her Linktree at https://linktr.ee/carrie.spangler.

For transcripts of this episode- visit the podcast website at: https://empowearaudiology.buzzsprout.com

Transcript

[00:00:00] Announcer: Welcome to Episode 29 of empowEAR Audiology with Dr. Carrie Spangler.
[00:00:16] Carrie: Welcome to the empowEAR Audiology Podcast, which is part of the 3C Digital Media Network. My name is Dr. Carrie Spangler, and I am your host. I am a passionate audiologist with a lifelong journey of living with hearing challenges and this vibrant hearing world. This podcast is for professionals, parents, individuals, with hearing challenges and those who want to be inspired.
[00:00:45] Thank you for listening, and I hope you will subscribe, invite others to listen and leave me a positive review. I also wanted to invite all of you to visit and engage in the conversation on the empowEAR Audiology Facebook group. Transcripts for each episode can be found at www dot 3, the number three, C digital media network dot com under the empowEAR podcast tab.
[00:01:18] Now let's get started with today's episode. Welcome everyone to the empowEAR Audiology Podcast. I am really excited today. I have a special guest with me and her name is Valli Gideons. And I have been following Valli on her social media for some time. And I said to myself, I need to get her on the empowEAR Audiology Podcast because I really feel like she's a.
[00:01:46] You're real. You're down to earth. You're insightful. You are a mom who is raising two teenage children who also have cochlear implants. So I'm just kind of investigating some of you. And I found out that you have over 800,000 people. Following you and your Facebook page and you also a manager and several other Facebook pages and groups.
[00:02:12] So a little bit about Valli. And if I'm her web page is that she has a webpage called My Battle Call and I am excited to learn more about that today. She is a military bride who writes about navigating through the fog of. Okay, this is with cochlear implants and other things from the heart. And I have just loved reading everything about you and your blog and following you on Facebook.
[00:02:42] And I'm really excited to start this podcast today. So welcome Valli. 
[00:02:47] Valli: Thank you so much for having me I'm happy to be here. Well, I 
[00:02:51] Carrie: think we're going to have a lot in common from maybe a couple of different angles, and I'm really excited for you to share more with our listeners today. So I know you have given much passion.
[00:03:05] And I, you say a sliver of hope to others. I think it's much more than a sliver of hope. But would you Just share with our listeners a little bit about your story and how you got started your kids and that kind of thing. 
[00:03:22] Valli: Oh my gosh. I, you know, this one is really hard to succinctly state because where do you begin?
[00:03:30] So just as far as how hearing loss came into our world, I can start there by telling you that we had no family history. And my son was born and failed. I hate that word, but failed the infant here, hearing screen. So we were they followed up with the two week, two weeks later with the ABR. And we went into that appointment, literally thinking we'd just be told.
[00:03:59] Yep. All good. And that is not what we were told. We were brought into the room. I've described this so many times. My mom's like, Val, you need a new story, but it's true. It's the room you don't want to be invited into. I just can't put it any other way. And the doctor came in and said he failed. He'll probably go to mainstream high school.
[00:04:17] Maybe cochlear implants, hearing aids and many questions. Well, my husband and I were like, You know, literally in shock. So needless to say we changed clinics because we did learn early on if it didn't feel right, it probably wasn't. So we ended up at a clinic where they were fabulous and we felt supported and heard and empathized with and all the things.
[00:04:43] So that was kind of what. We had to roll our sleeves up and literally learn what is hearing loss. And my son is 16 and a half, so we couldn't go on a Facebook group for all of you young ins out there. There was no Facebook. I mean, barely, I don't even know if we could go. If you could Google a thing, you were waiting for your dial up internet.
[00:05:09] I mean, I, so finding support was really hard. And so that brings me to all these years later, I created a space and a place for people. That is what I wished would have been available when my son was identified with hearing loss. And then 21, 1 months later, my daughter was also born and has the same syndrome to 25% chance of also having hearing loss.
[00:05:37] And she. Also has it, so we're, we're a hundred percent, we're two for two. So that's kind of how the 
[00:05:47] Carrie: 16 and a half and for 
[00:05:48] Valli: what she did, she just turned 15
[00:05:49] Carrie: 15. Okay. I said to two wild teenagers and has 
[00:05:55] Valli: said, yes, they're a freshman and a sophomore. So I have both my babies in high school this year. 
[00:06:02] Carrie: Oh, wow. Well, that's at least they're both at the same school now, right?
[00:06:07] Valli: Yes. And my son is driving them to school. Oh 
[00:06:11] Carrie: yes. So when did, so you found out about your son right from the get go and obviously, probably your daughter since then with the family history  in the newborn hearing screening. At what point did you. Can you share a little bit about intervention and when you decided to go down the cochlear implant route, 
[00:06:34] Valli: so I'm going, I have to kind of piece it together because it's now so long ago.
[00:06:41] So I think there's probably lots of details missed in how we did have early interventionists from the state and city or county. We found an amazing audiologist. Who referred us to an amazing auditory verbal therapist. He got fitted with his hearing aids at three months of age. And so we started down that route to see how he would do, but also he has enlarged vestibular aqueducts.
[00:07:13] So we knew there would be fluctuations in the hearing. So it was a lots of retesting getting him conditioned behaviorally, which he's a champion. I mean, the, my, both my kids are so accurate. Their audiologist is like always kind of amazed by how accurate the information is. They give anyways. So because of that fluctuation in his right ear, it was a deteriorating pretty quickly.
[00:07:43] And so we came to the decision to get the cochlear implant on that, that time they weren't doing bilateral. And we still didn't know what would happen with his left ear. And I think somewhere in there was a sliver in us, hoping it wouldn't deteriorate. Which looking back, that's kind of funny because it's, it is going to deteriorate.
[00:08:04] It's just a matter of when. So we went ahead with the cochlear implant on his right side. Just so that we would no longer have to be worrying about whether he was getting access or not. And we came to it with nobody telling us to do it, but a lot of people guiding us with good sound information.
[00:08:26] Carrie: Okay. So he was how old, when he got his first implant then? 
[00:08:30] Valli: I think he, it was 14 months. 
[00:08:33] Carrie: Okay. So yeah, you've been on this cochlear implant journey for a while. And then what about your daughter? When did she get her first one? So 
[00:08:42] Valli: her hearing loss was not as severe when she was born. So she did get a lot more information and use out of her hearing aids.
[00:08:49] And we kept watching to see what the shift was going to be. And we did made the decision when she was 18 months old. She got. Her cochlear implant. So she's doing a ladder. She only has one she's. What do you call when it's implant hearing aid? Bi-modal bi-modal I always get the terms mixed up. She's bi-modal and we ended up getting his second implant when he was in kindergarten.
[00:09:14] Okay. So he calls that his baby ear, his infant year, and he still prefers just to wear his right implant only even though we make him wear both when he actually really needs to hear I shouldn't say make him put, put people off. We don't, we, he knows when he really needs to hear, he wears them both, but around the house, he is leaning towards.
[00:09:38] Wanting to just use the right ear. It's really interesting. Yeah. 
[00:09:42] Carrie: I've heard that a lot from different kids, especially when the time is a little bit different. In between set the 14 months to the five years your has not caught up to as mature ear yet 
[00:09:55] Valli: says he can't really explain why. Because he does know he gets a lot more access with both.
[00:10:03] He knows that. Cause when it really counts, he wants them both. But so it's, it's, it's really interesting. 
[00:10:11] Carrie: Yeah. And every listener, a little bit different with a whole cochlear implant journey. So one thing I wanted to ask you is you talked about your experience of not having a good experience and the initial kind of diagnosis and getting that information and then finding someone that you knew in your heart that didn't feel right there and finding someone else.
[00:10:39] Do you have any advice for like parents or I would say even audiologists out there. Really prompted you as a parent to explore something else and then feel, I guess, at home somewhere else. 
[00:10:54] Valli: Well, I think my biggest piece of advice I like to give parents is always trust your gut and your intuition is usually almost always right.
[00:11:04] And I don't know why we think when it comes to dealing with hearing loss and people in that expertise that we're not allowed to get a second opinion, third opinion, or. If you don't like your, the haircut you get, you have no problem with going to a new hairdresser. So if you're not okay with somebody's bedside manner, or you're not sure about the information they're giving you, or you just don't feel like it's the right fit, get another opinion or try something new with we've had to do it with auditory verbal therapist, because that relationship so important.
[00:11:42] And we just I think we didn't know anything about hearing loss, but we did know what right would feel like. And we know it didn't feel right. There was no empathy. I mean, none. And that's what I would tell audiologists. And I've spoke to classrooms of budding audiologists and that relationship is so important.
[00:12:05] I mean, our audiologist is Mo the most important person to me. She has been. So much so that we traveled we're military family. And when we were living 3000 miles away and we, I would still load my children up on a plane and fly cross country for her to do their mapping for their implant, because I just trusted her.
[00:12:25] And our rapport was just that good. And one thing that she does that I highly recommend for audiologists or anyone working with kids is she spoke to them. When they're in the room, she doesn't talk at them or about them. She talks to them and it's, they really love her. And I think part of it is because she really does make them feel seen and she makes their input.
[00:12:56] It's valuable to her, not just mom, sitting there doing all the talking for the kids. So. For anybody who's studying to go into this line of work. I think if you can look right at that child and ask them the questions that's so important, 
[00:13:13] Carrie: and it also empowers that child, but as well to take leadership of their own hearing and hearing journey and know that they're just as part of the process as anybody else in the little village.
[00:13:27] Valli: Right. So. Sometimes I'm telling you we're in, I love going to audiology appointments now, which is so funny because when the kids were little, they were excruciating because, you know, you're just trying to get it out. Especially when you're traveling across country, you're trying to make sure everyone's rested and fed and ready to attend.
[00:13:45] And, you know, I've got the fish crackers in the pocket doing the bribes for ice cream after and the whole thing. But now, I mean, we make it like a field trip and I just enjoy listening to what the kids have to say. When it comes to their hearing or anything else, but they can articulate things that I would have no way of articulating.
[00:14:07] Like I, and their audiologist is so proud of them. She was like, that is so well stated. I know exactly what you're trying to convey. So it's really powerful for kids to establish that kind of ownership of theirdevices and they're hearing. 
[00:14:26] Carrie: Yeah. Which kind of brings me to my next question. I think that's amazing.
[00:14:30] And like to develop those types of skills and to really listen to what I have to say. And I always tried to do that as an educational audiologist, talking to the students that I work with because they do, they have so much insight into the everyday life that nobody else is going to have because they're not sitting in those shoes every day.
[00:14:52] But you developed My Battle Call. And I am assuming that has a lot to do with a lot of the experiences that you as a mom, as a family have, but also continuing that with everything that your kids have to say about their own journey and kind of incorporating that. But can you just share a little bit about My Battle Call and how you came up with it and then name as well?
[00:15:18] Valli: I'll start backwards. The name is my son's name is Battle. Okay. And my husband's in the military, so we're a military family. So, and
[00:15:33] being a hearing loss advocate and parent of children who have hearing loss just became really my. Passion or purpose. So it just My Battle Call just seem to just sum it all up. And the first essay I ever wrote about it said I studied journalism in college and I was a writer. So writing was not something I was new to.
[00:15:58] However, I, once I had kids, I'd kind of transitioned and stopped doing that as a career. And I was on a girls weekend with my two best friends and they asked me how come I never write anymore? And why don't I return to writing? And I'm like, well, I don't really even know what I would write about. And they're like, are you kidding me?
[00:16:21] So that kind of set planted the seed. And I, my first essay I wrote in this genre was after my son had accomplished like a little bit of a milestone and my husband and I kind of just threw it away. Like took it for granted. I was like, this is sad. Like we need to remember how far we've come. So I wrote about it, so I wouldn't forget.
[00:16:53] And that was the first piece I published. When I finally decided to just put it out there into the world and then. And my profession I've worked for the YMCA as a director and as a writer, I've always just kind of let things happen organically and not been too stuck in a box and said the platform grew into something completely organic and it's everything I.
[00:17:20] Could I could have never hoped or dreamed for it to be what it is. Just what a privilege to get, to have these connections with other parents and professionals and people that had I not hit publish. Never have met and then gone on to write. I think you've know about the book that my daughter and I wrote together.
[00:17:42] I mean, I would've 
[00:17:43] Carrie: never guessed. 
[00:17:45] Valli: Oh, yay. Yes. Oh, right. That's right. That's awesome. So anyways, that, that was the long answer to the, the question is it's just really a place that I wished would have been available when we had our kids. And then also I don't sugar coat. Yeah. And I think 
[00:18:06] Carrie: that's so important for parents to have that information because a lot of times, well, first of all, I love that you write aboutit right away.
[00:18:15] Like it's kind of authentic. It's fresh in your mind. And it's real because I think like you said, if you wait longer than. It's not as fresh or I don't know the emotion, isn't always there as much unless you do it kind of as you're going along in the moment. So I do appreciate you sharing that way and I'm sure other parents really appreciate hearing what you have to say.
[00:18:43] So I thought we would I love reading your posts just for that reason, because I think they are authentic and encouraging. Informative as a professional. And then also as someone that also has a cochlear implant and a hearing aid too, it's thought provoking to hear. But your kids have to say too, but I thought we would go deeper into a couple of your recent posts if that's okay with you, for our audience.
[00:19:14] So the one, and I'm going to read some of it just so that I don't get it. Quote anything, but the first one I'd love to go deeper. And it's something that you posted August 5th which really prompted me to kind of reach out to you and the, and the post to explain that someone had commented on one of your heartfelt post and said that you really should drop the last part of the term hearing loss and instead add deaf gain into that.
[00:19:42] So I thought I would just ask Ask you what you thought about that or how you can kind of expand a little bit more on that? 
[00:19:53] Valli: Ooh, well, one thing you realize right away when you write on the internet is you have to get thick skin and really take the personal out of it. Because when I was a writer for a magazine and a newspaper, If someone had a complaint, it was a letter to the editor.
[00:20:19] I mean, this is, that is a lot different. Right. But it did make it, so you didn't have a relationship with your audience either. So I much prefer this format that we can, I can get to know the people who are reading my work, but I just have decided I will give people the benefit of the doubt. Until they show me that they aren't willing to think of things in a different way, or maybe they were missing.
[00:20:53] They didn't mean what they wrote or they used different words. So I just kind of reached back out to that commenter and just nicely asked her to really think about what she's saying and how it. Make the writer feel and other parents reading it, he was, it ended up being fine. I think there was a, more of a mutual respect that I was willing to give her grace, but then I also have very little patience for people dropping rude comments on someone's page for the sake of just.
[00:21:40] Causing controversy or just spreading mean rude things. So I wrote about her and I wouldn't want to call her out specifically cause I've gotten other comments that are equally strange to me, but I realized it was really about her pain and not feeling seen as somebody who was deaf. And I have so much empathy for that, but I'm the truth is I'm telling our story and I'm actually telling my story as the mother ma this is not my kid's story either.
[00:22:23] I can't, I don't tell their stories. I tell it from my point of view, I did not. Their stories are not mine to tell, and that's a real fine line. And I see other people try to jump into this. Platform really speaking for their kids. And I think you have to remember, they're going to read this. Mine do read it now.
[00:22:43] The lot. I eye-rolling a lot. Oh my gosh. My daughter and I are somehow connected on our phones as a family sharing where our photos and she's like, mom, all your PR. She just said this to me yesterday. All your ridiculous memes And she was mocking me no. And encouraged. I was like, well, too bad. So sad.
[00:23:09] They're not for you. 
[00:23:12] Carrie: Oh, well I obviously that posts. You know, responded to garnered like 550 likes. I think it was for that comment. And you had like 120 different comments and lots of shares. So it really, I think struck a chord with a lot of people. And really, like you said, it was an opportunity to have some grace, but open up a conversation.
[00:23:38] And you know about that. And I think that's something that. And I don't know if it's just because of everything else that we talk about with diversity and inclusion, that's happening more on a global level. And then it trickles kind of took us down to our little community of deaf and hard of hearing or, you know, individuals with hearing loss.
[00:24:02] I don't know whatever you want to call yourself, but. I've had that comment, you know, to me too. And I was kind of had the same reaction. It was like, this is me. This is what I have chosen to say about myself and why I don't need someone else I don't even know who you are commenting about how I decide to identify.
[00:24:30] And I think that's why your post really struck a chord with me is because I had personally experienced that as well. 
[00:24:39] Valli: Yeah, I think it's well, that's why it got so much engagement because people related and I think it's a lot of hearing parents feel a lot of judgement. And shame. And on my page, I don't tolerate it.
[00:24:58] So I will delete comments or ban ban somebody who's just being hateful and, and shame shaming another parent for the choices they've made, because then. That's not creating a space where people feel supported and have sense of belonging. And I could try to keep reiterating that are each one of us, our stories are unique and valuable and let's learn from one another.
[00:25:27] We don't even have to agree. Like I have changed. I've gotten more involved in collaborating with people in the disability sphere and I've learned so much. Like I've taken the  the word special needs parenting special needs out of my vocabulary, just from what I've learned by listening. And that's what feels right for me.
[00:25:53] Now. I wouldn't go onto somebody else's page and comment rudely, why they shouldn't use the term special needs. I might have a private conversation. Hey, have you ever thought of it this way? Or this is something I learned, but I. You know,
[00:26:12] it what's the goal, you know, what is the goal to make people feel supported and encouraged, and you're never going to change hearts and minds by shaming and judging period. 
[00:26:23] Carrie: Right. And I think your comment about being open and changing and talking to other people is, is important because over time when, if you think about, you know, 20 years ago, our vocabulary was much different than it is today.
[00:26:40] And just like you said, being open to new terminology and how we identify. Is is always going to be something, but again, what feels right for you is also important 
[00:26:55] Valli: Right. And the other thing is I take my, I follow my kids lead, so I that's the term they use. And if I say I asked them, what would you say if instead we called you deaf gain?
[00:27:10] They are like, what? Like that. This is them saying that would just be weird. Like they are not, I think it's generational. Perhaps they are not easily offended either. They really aren't. They, if somebody says, what are you deaf or something, they go actually, Where, if I heard someone say that I might go, Hey, that's very insensitive.
[00:27:38] Or you might want to consider your audience, but the, my kids are like, yeah, I actually am. And they, I mean, they, it doesn't do anything to their feelings of self. And so I don't know. We're not over. I don't think we've gotten to a place where we're too sensitive, but I think you have to listen to the person who has the disability and follow their lead.
[00:28:05] Carrie: Yeah, no, I agree. 
[00:28:08] Valli: Even using that word, I'm starting to get okay with it because my kids say it is a disability mom. They use it, but a lot of people don’t consider hearing loss of disability. And they're like, well, without accommodations, we can't go to school. And so anyway, they have their feelings about 
[00:28:33] Carrie: you.
[00:28:33] Can't get, you know, IEP services and different things like that. So it's definitely something I would say for me. And this is just me talking, I would say yes, I do have. Disability. I'm the only person in my family that has hearing loss. It's not something that is part of like our culture, I guess. And I I've I've family.
[00:28:59] This is just how I grew up. And however, I don't feel like my disability has  limited me, but like what you said I need accommodations and supports in order to navigate through my daily everyday life. 
[00:29:16] Valli: Yeah. That is well said, and maybe there's other people. I know there's other people who feel differently and that's okay too.
[00:29:26] It is. 
[00:29:27] Carrie: So that's why we're all 
[00:29:28] Valli: unique. There's no one size fits all. That's the tagline on my website. 
[00:29:34] Carrie: There you go. That's a great tagline. So what just thinking about parents and a lot of your follower, both are parents. What nuggets of advice would you share today for parents who are on this journey? 
[00:29:49] Valli: Well, I think I touched on trusting your gut.
[00:29:55] And then the other thing that I think is one of the main messages in the book that my daughter and I wrote is. For your child set the bar high because that's what they're going to reach for. That was advice we got early on, early on when my son was still a baby in this amazing auditory verbal therapist.
[00:30:25] He's legendary. I won't name his name, but he told us that right away and it just stuck like. You know, the sky is the limit. Doesn't mean there won't be challenges and they won't be times where, you know, it's really hard. There's times. I want to just cry for my kids when I just, you know, they come across some experience.
[00:30:49] That's just so hard, but I've, we've never told them there's anything they can't do and they believe it. So that's the biggest nugget is. Your kids are going to believe what you tell them and what you show them. 
[00:31:10] Carrie: Yeah. And the parents are the greatest example. So this is just a question for you. So has anyone outside of your family ever told you kids?
[00:31:21] They can't do something. And how did they respond? 
[00:31:26] Valli: Oh, I don't know. I think so. I don't think so. I mean, our family and extended family I'll tell you, a lot of them have learned a lot about our family by reading my work. I've even had some very close friends who said I had no idea how hard those early days were the early years.
[00:31:56] Well, when we were, I told you military, so we were living remote. A lot of the time, not near good family or good friends and family. So one specific instance, I just republished it for deaf awareness month was how, when people use the word, nevermind makes someone who has hearing loss feel. It's probably one of the most powerful pieces I write and reshare I'll ask readers how it makes them feel, and then I'll edit it to add new comments.
[00:32:35] But my sister who I love and who loves my kids has always just treated them amazingly, read that. When I originally posted it and she, she called me and said, I am so sorry. I'm like, what she's. She said, when you're, when Battle, sometimes doesn't hear me. I'll just say nevermind, like instead of just repeating it, and I'd never thought about how that might make him feel.
[00:33:06] Okay, well, there you go. You know, better, you do better. And that's why I write it and publish it because it might just reach somebody who didn't have any idea that certain things and behaviors they had were hurt could be hurtful. 
[00:33:23] Carrie: Yeah. I don't like that comment at all. And of course 
[00:33:26] you 
[00:33:27] Valli: go universal. I think it's universal hearing people don't like that.
[00:33:35] So I can only imagine, well, I can imagine cause people keep telling me how it, so isolating and makes you feel not important and frustrating and makes you want to you know, my son would say when he's in a group conversation after the third, fourth, fifth time, he's had to ask for. Clarification, he just forget it.
[00:34:02] Like, so if you have people who are more conscientious and just willing to just repeat it, then rephrase it if necessary or turn your body, get where they can see your lips. Turn off the background radio. That's blaring. One of my daughter's friends. If she reads my she reads my blog. She was taking my daughter somewhere and she said, I made sure to turn off the radio when we were driving.
[00:34:33] And just so she'd be able to follow along the conversation easier. And I'm like, thank you so much. Like how thoughtful that you put in because maybe the other girls wanted to hear the music. But anyway, it's just, I think understanding is key. 
[00:34:51] Carrie: It definitely is. So what about some advice for audiologists or SLPs or teacher of the deaf or anybody else that works with children who are deaf and hard of hearing?
[00:35:05] What would you want them to know? Nuggets of advice? I know you shared some, but what do you have any others?
[00:35:16] Valli: Well, I think the setting of the bar high is good one. And I think celebrating successes is pretty key. We had one therapist that we left because every session she would report to me, all the things Harper wasn't doing. And my, I brought my mom with me. And when we left. The session. My mom's like, I just don't understand why look at all the things Harper is doing.
[00:35:53] She didn't point one of them out. And I said, that's why I leave here defeated. She's like, there was not one bit of encouragement. So again, you're not lying to the parent or the child, you know, you can always have things you're working on, but not. You've just got to point out things that are, people are doing well, successes to keep being, feeling encouraged because also for professionals, particularly if you don't have a child who has hearing loss, don't pretend like, you know what it's like?
[00:36:37] And I had the same therapist would do this to me. She had kids about the same age as mine and she acted like it was just the same. And like, it's not, it's, it's very different for you to spend one hour with my child then to  to be that child's parent. So don't,
[00:37:01] don't presume to know, learn and empathize, but don't presume to know because you're an expert. That you know what it's like to actually parent the child.  That’s really good advice
[00:37:17] Yeah. It's tricky because you do know, you all know a lot, but 
[00:37:24] Carrie: right. We don't live. Yeah. We don't live your life. And when I in your house, 24 7. So 
[00:37:33] Valli: yeah, I had a note. We had another therapist we were going to for OT. And what I appreciated about her so much is if I had run into like a roadblock somewhere with like something behavioral that was related to the vestibular sensory issue, she would give me strategies and like, literally look me in the eyes and go, it's going to be okay, let's try this strategy.
[00:38:01] And I'll be darn if we couldn't end up finding things that would work. Sometimes it took a couple of different techniques or tactics, but that having somebody that's like an ally and a resource was lifesaving for me. 
[00:38:18] Carrie: No, that sounds like having those different strategies and supports and being able to, as a parent, go home and try and navigate and see what works for your own child.
[00:38:29] 'cause you never know what I wanted to also ask you a little bit more and you've kind of mentioned it about your most recent endeavor of publishing a book with Harper. Can you share a little bit more about that? 
[00:38:45] Valli: I can talk about this book all day if you want. I am so proud of it. It's been one of the most meaningful experiences of my life.
[00:38:55] We published. Ironically, February, 2020. 
[00:39:00] Carrie: So right before the show shut down, 
[00:39:03] Valli: we had ones, we got, we went to one school visit to do a read aloud, and then all our whole book tour got canceled. It was kind of a, but we did switch right on to zoom doing lots of zoom, readings and presentations. But anyways, so the book, how it came to fruition is.
[00:39:24] Rather than me writing my own book. I, my daughter came home from fourth grade and unpacked her backpack at the last day of school. And I pulled out her writing journal from school and they had done a daily prompt and I just got mesmerized by this journal. She's a really good writer and just reading through it.
[00:39:46] And I came across an essay. One of the prompts was said, what's something that makes you unique. And she wrote that how she was unique because she was deaf. And part of why she played basketball was to show other kids hearing or not that anything is possible and how to help other kids who might have challenges feel encouraged.
[00:40:08] And I mean, it was just this, well, here's the book Harper, this is a book. It's not my story to your stories, the book. And so we started, she didn't really believe me if you interview her, it's kind of funny. She was like, what? She, she just didn't believe me that we'd really make it into a book. And we started just flushing through the manuscript draft after draft.
[00:40:34] And then we finally hired up illustrator who started putting some of the pictures to the story. And then that's when Harper. Well, it's like, oh my gosh, this is really gonna happen. Yeah. So it was, it's pretty special. It's so it's encouraging. It's funny. So it's told in her twelve-year-old voice, very witty. It's a lot of words because she is such a reader.
[00:41:05] She wanted it to be something you could reach your small child, but then once your child becomes a reader, They won't grow out of it. Yeah. You know, till I, we, I have a friend who's sixth grade are still reading it and then the back is a glossary of terms. And then real life pictures of the family and the people in the.
[00:41:30] Carrie: I cannot wait to get it. 
[00:41:31] Valli: Yeah, it's fun. It's it's really cute. 
[00:41:35] Carrie: It was called Now Hear This, Harper Soars with her magic Ears. 
[00:41:39] Valli: Oh yes. Thank you. And it's available on Amazon. And also we do signed author copies, all get a shipment of author copies and we can sign those for people so they can just message me. And we write a personal message.
[00:41:54] So I find out I just signed two today. We find out about the child it's four and right. Personal message. Both me and Harper. Right. Like something about the kid. And because Harper had a book that was like that did somebody had personally signed. I mean, to this day, we're never getting rid of this book. So anyway, that's, that's been something really fun.
[00:42:17] Carrie: I think it's amazing because I think kids Of all ages really want to see themselves represented in a book. And so for you and Harper of really her experiences and two words and pictures, other kids are going to be able to relate. And, you know, if you're, I'm just thinking from an educational audiology perspective, to be able to share this with the kids I work with and several kids.
[00:42:47] Prompts different conversations about what might be happening and has this ever happened to you? Whatever happens to be in the story, it's just a whole way for them to have a conversation about their own journey. 
[00:43:02] Valli: Yeah. That's what we wanted kids to see themselves. And we talk about her other deaf and hard of hearing friends.
[00:43:10] You know, might use different some use sign language, some have hearing aids, some have bone conductors, some have a combination and kind of some of the hobbies those kids are into that are different than what her and her brother are into. And so. I agree with you. It's so important for kids to see themselves reflected in what they read and see.
[00:43:31] And when they, my kids were little, there were not a lot of options in books, particularly. So it's fun to see more and more books coming out. We're in the creative part of the next book, because now Battle is going to get his turn. He's not going to write it. Me and Harper are going to write it. Okay. It's going to be about him.
[00:43:52] It's going to be fun. Because he's funny, like it's I wish I could tell you the premise it's real. It's going to be more picture bookish. This is not picture book. This is wordy book as a book is don't be afraid. I only got one bad review. Well, it's not even a bad review, but, but the woman said it's very.
[00:44:11] And Harper said, thank you.
[00:44:16] And we like words. So we, we are happy someone called it wordy, but. Yeah, 
[00:44:23] Carrie: well, obviously like your background in journalism and then your path having two children with cochlear implants really intersected nicely, but,  
[00:44:34] Valli: and did I? It did. And when you're a writer, everybody says, are you going to write a book?
[00:44:40] I even got an, I reached out a literally office agent reached out to me about me writing my own. And I just was like, I'm not really ready to take on that kind of project, a hundred thousand words. Like I don't really have that story in me yet, but this is again organically just, and we really hope it ends up in front.
[00:45:03] People are buying it for their schools, for their libraries. That's we want it on every kid's nightstand. They'll send us the kids, send us pictures with the book. Oh, my gosh, I videos one little. Girl's like my new name is hopper. She's dribbling a basketball cause her foot plays. We talk about basketball in there and she's dribbling.
[00:45:24] Same Mike, call me Harper. Like she sent us a little video. It was so cute. Yeah. 
[00:45:29] Carrie: I bet. Hope I love that too. She, I don't know how she 
[00:45:33] Valli: feels. I think. I don't think she realizes the impact yet. So I think it's going to be even, they have her do the reading at her school to her whole. It was then seventh grade class.
[00:45:49] She was so embarrassed. I mean, in a lot of people at the school, her classmates bought it because they just thought it was so cool that Harper written a book. And then she read some of the lower grades at her school. And I don't think she really gets it yet. Yeah. 
[00:46:06] Carrie: Someday, 
[00:46:08] Valli: someday 
[00:46:08] Carrie: she will. So a couple other questions before we wrap up, but I know you have your website and your social media pages and.
[00:46:21] You have a store too, right? You sell like shirts and other fun things. Could you share a little bit more about your webpage and your store and how people can find you? I have 
[00:46:33] Valli: a store. I love it. Yeah. So I'm My Battle Call on Instagram and Facebook are my two big social platforms. Please come to Facebook people.
[00:46:44] We really. Engaged heavily on Facebook, but then also Instagram, my Instagram is growing. I've met some great people there. And then my website, my store I've created and designed a couple of different shirts. So proud. Cochlear implant, mom, proud hearing aid. Mom. I'm grateful. There's a shirt with the design grateful.
[00:47:08] And then I created a bunch of resource guides. So my biggest one, my favorite, well, I have an ebook that I wrote, it's just a collection of essays. And then I wrote a teacher's guide and it's nine page document with both hearing aid and cochlear implant versions.  And it's a document my kids and I wrote together that we give out to the school stuff every year.
[00:47:35] And so included in it is all the nuances and ways. It's above and beyond an IEP or 5 0 4 plan. It's like the actual humanizing of, you know, shut the windows, closed the doors, turn off the background music like real life, tangible things. Teachers can really. It makes sense to them, the nuances, and then there's a sheet in the back where people can personalize it so that, and then we wrote one the same kind of way for coaches.
[00:48:12] So I highly recommend people. Send this document to their teachers and their coaches way before the first day of practice or the first day of school. So the teachers have time, the coach has time to read it. Then you set up the meeting to go over it, but not on the first day of school and not on the first day of practice.
[00:48:34] We plan ahead because we made this mistake a couple times before I came up with this. Guide you can't grab the coach on the first day of first grade basketball, they have 20 kids there and they're just trying to herd cats it's too much. So you need to make, go the extra mile and make that appointment, or just ask for, you know, 10 minutes of their time to just kind of go over it.
[00:49:03] And they appreciate it so much. 
[00:49:06] Carrie: I'm sure they do. I know that's always a struggle for parents of like, what do I do for, you know, the coaches, especially when it's a parent coach, you know, just things like that, that you didn't even think about that. And you're like, oh, you get to practice. And you're like, oh no.
[00:49:23] Now what? So we have that resources, such a great opportunity for parents to have, and for professionals to have to, in order to share with families. So as we wrap up today, is there anything that I didn't ask you that you want our listeners to know about you? 
[00:49:41] Valli: Oh, well, I am a real, you know, I haven't really put this out there, but because I get approach rather than pitch myself, but I am available to do a speaking and it's something I'm super passionate about and was starting to do kind of regularly before COVID.
[00:50:04] I mean for real. So if you have a parent group or a professional group, students, whatever you need a guest speaker, I'm happy to come and, you know, work with you to in any way to kind of shape the speech for that group. We're always happy to come and either via zoom or in real life, share our book, share our story.
[00:50:28] So I think that's one thing I would like to the people might not know when they see my work, that that's something I'm really passionate about doing so. I think, I think we covered a lot. We 
[00:50:44] Carrie:  We did discover a lot. I think this was a great conversation. I'm so glad that you were willing to come and the empire ear ideology podcast and be a part for our listeners today.
[00:50:55] And I hope that all the listeners, whether you're a parent or you are a professional, will get onto your Facebook and Instagram pages and explore your website so that they can follow you and get all of this great, authentic, real information. Real time experiences that you are. So I guess gracious to put out there so other people can learn.
[00:51:22] So thank you, Valli for being a part of this. I really appreciate it. And I am so excited to put a name and a face together, and I hope that in the future we can actually meet in real life.  
[00:51:35] Valli: I would love that. Thank you so much for having me this was fun
[00:51:39] Carrie: All right. Thank you listeners for being a part of the empowEAR Audiology Podcast.
[00:51:45] Announcer: This has been a production of the 3C Digital Media Network. .