Engaging Doctors: The Podcast for Financial Advisors Who Work with Doctor Clients

The Connection Prescription: Leadership Skills for Financial Advisors

• Dr. Vicki Rackner • Season 1 • Episode 17

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Have you ever wondered how to lead your doctor clients with more confidence and connection? In this podcast, listen in on Dr. Vicki Rackner’s presentation as she shares The Connection Prescription—a set of practical leadership skills to help financial advisors build trust, simplify complexity, and communicate with greater impact.

For more tips and strategies to grow your practice by working with more doctor clients:

If you are a financial advisor, you already know that your clients turn to you for financial leadership. But what does it mean to be a financial leader, and how do you do it more graciously? In today's session, you'll take away the connection prescription a set of leadership skills that will allow your clients to get better outcomes. Welcome to the engaging doctors podcast. If you are a financial advisor who wants to work with more Doctor clients, you are in the right place. I'm Dr Vicki Rackner, your host. I call in my experience as a surgeon to help financial advisors crack the physician code and reach the doctors who want and need their help. So let's dive in. The first question, of course, is, what does it mean to be a leader? And I appreciate Stephen Covey's definition, he says, leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential so clearly that they are inspired to see it in themselves. Your clients have a vision for their financial future. They are turning to you to help them achieve it. Sometimes they wonder, can I get there? Leadership means helping them see the possibility and giving them the confidence that this truly is possible, even when it feels hard for them. Now, how do you communicate that message? How do you communicate that message? Well, you communicate it with the tone of your voice. You communicate it with your body language, and you communicate it with the words that you use. So first, let's talk about the tone of your voice. I was once taping a public service announcement at a radio station, and I had multiple takes the producer said, you know, let's pay attention to your language. You know, women tend to end with an upswing, which means that as they end a sentence, their tone tends to go up, and in general, the upswing builds curiosity, and a downswing builds trust. So as you're talking with your clients, are you ending with an upswing or with a downswing in general, the discovery is best performed with an upswing. And when you are communicating ideas that you would like your prospects to take on, the downswing builds authority. It builds leadership. Second you might have seen the TED talk about the importance of body language. Now we tend to think that our words and our ideas inform our body language. However, our body language can also inform our thoughts. Leadership language is big and open and expansive. You make yourself bigger. You've been told that if you're out hiking and you see a bear, one of the things you want to do is make yourself bigger. Will leaders have expansive body language too? How about you? What is your innate body language? You know something that you can try doing is just going and assuming a Superman pose for 30 or so seconds to really get into that leadership mindset. All right. Now, let's talk about the connection prescription. This is a set of leadership skills, all right. The first idea is set the emotional thermostat. You've probably gone into a room and you just sense that something has happened there. You know, maybe there was an argument, there was a lot of emotion, though, emotions tend to be catchy, and there are times when your clients are going to feel very chaotic. They have an anxious emotional state. Will you want to set the emotional thermostat you want your clients to catch? Your calm, rather than you catching your chaos. Now I remember when I was in medical school, the very first day I was on the hospital wards, there was a code announced. So I ran to the room, and there was just an absolute sea of white coats. I went and stood next to my teaching super. I went and stood next to my resident who was supervising me, and he leans over and he says, What's the very first thing you do when you arrive at a code? And I said, Well, ABCs, airway, breathing, circulation, he said wrong. The very first thing that you do before you enter the room is check your pulse. So you always want to be checking your own pulse and getting yourself to calm. A great way to do this is through square breathing, so you breathe in for a count of four, you hold it for a count of four. You exhale for a count of four, and then you hold empty for a count of four. Now, when we are anxious, we're in the fight or flight mode, and when we're running for our lives. We don't have time to exhale. When your brain is observing your body exhaling, it thinks, Okay, this is evidence that we are not in danger. We can get to calm. Idea number two, let them take center stage. So think of your encounters with your clients as taking place in a New York theater. There is one seat under the limelight and there's lots of seats in the audience. Now you get to decide where you put yourself. We all have a natural inclination to put ourselves into the spotlight. However, you are a much more effective leader when you are putting your client in the limelight. This is about them. Make the focus be about them. One quick way to know comes from the wisdom of Patricia Fripp, whom I met at the National Speakers Association. She talks about the I to you ratio. She says, ideally you are using the word you four times as many times as you use the word I so it's important to be able to really identify what's important for your client. I remember I was taking a long flight, and there was a toddler having a temper tantrum right before we were boarding the plane, and it was loud and explosive when we arrived at our destination. We were all waiting for our luggage, and I noticed that the child was wearing a t shirt that said, for argument's sake, let's assume I'm right. Now, imagine that every one of your clients is wearing that T shirt. What is their assumption? How are they seeing the world? What way do they want to prove themselves? Right? Sometimes, as you well know, a financial transformation is contingent on your client being willing to challenge that their thoughts about money. Sometimes, sometimes a financial transformation is contingent upon this idea that a client is willing to challenge something that they believe to be true about how you build wealth. However, in order to get there, it's important that you understand what those beliefs are, and sometimes those beliefs are hidden. Let's say, for example, that somebody has the belief that money is inherently evil. A lot of people believe that, well, it's going to be hard to build wealth if you feel like money is evil, and you turn into an evil person by having more money. So you can dig down and ask them, Hey, what did your parents teach you about money? If one of your clients is running into a financial ceiling, you can always get back to this question. What? What were you taught about? Money? I idea number three, shield your client from complexity. The reality is, is that wealth building has nuances. It is sophisticated, and you might be tended. Principle number three, shield your client from complexity. The reality is, is that wealth building is complex. It's nuanced. You might be tempted to try to wow your prospects and clients with your understanding of wealth building. You might try to overwhelm them with all of the ideas that enter into informed decisions. However, you are most effective when you offer simplicity. I remember speaking with one of the top performers in a financial services firm, and I asked him, What is the secret to your success? He says, Here it is, doctors like boxes. I try to make everything very simple. And if you've ever tried this, you actually know that you have to have a high degree of understanding in order to simplify something and explain it to a third grader. I can tell you that when I was operating, I would have conversations with my patients before they made a decision about whether to undergo a surgical procedure, I would explain things like where the incision would be, how we would manage post operative pain, how long it would take them to get back to work. I did not tell them about the kind of suture material I would use. That was a level of complexity that they trusted, that I would manage myself. Now, if a patient asked me, What kind of suture material would you use, of course, I would be happy to answer, but think about your conversations with your prospects and clients. Are you talking about the incision or are you talking about the suture material? I encourage you to simplify, to really I encourage you to simplify when you're talking with your doctor clients. Give them the executive summary that fits on one page, and then allow them to ask questions if they want next master the fine art of verbal persuasion. You know, Oprah has interviewed, she said over 40,000 people. And she said, in the end, what most people want to know is, do you hear me? Do you see me? Is what I think important to you, this is something that your clients want, too. And part of verbal persuasion begins with the process of seeing, with the process of witnessing. So verbal persuasion is a skill. That can be learned. Now, are you an introvert or an extrovert? You know, some people think that, you know, the most successful financial advisors are extroverts. They're people who like getting out there and talking with people. Well, what is the difference between an introvert and an extrovert? An introvert is somebody who gets recharged by being alone. They have to expend energy when they meet with others. An extrovert, on the other hand, gets energy by being around other people. This is just a temperament trade. Well, there was a study to take a look at who is more successful in financial services. Is it the extrovert or the introvert? And the answer is, it was the ambivert, the person who is willing to go out there and get engaged with others, even when it required energy. So you don't have to be an extrovert in order to be successful. But what it does mean is that you need the discipline to get out there and have more conversations with more doctors. If you are an extrovert, you may err on the side of doing more talking than listening. I would recommend that you exercise discipline in listening more and listening better. I also encourage you to remember that verbal persuasion is a skill that can be learned. You can learn how to be a better listener. You can learn how to start conversations with more people, with greater comfort, and you can learn how to be more charismatic, next act from your wisest self. Now, we all grow and evolve each year. If you look at a tree stump when there were plenty of resources, lots of rain, lots of sun, you see lots of growth in a ring. However, there are other rings where there's not much growth at all. So when we as adults manage our money or build business relationships, sometimes we run across situations that remind us of our earlier rings. After all, your clients have been taught about money since birth. Well, let's say that you're talking with a client and suddenly they're behaving irrationally. They're kind of acting like a child, chances are very good that what's happening is that something in their earlier ring, something in their childhood. Year was traumatic, and now in front of you, you are not dealing with an adult. You are dealing with a child. So let's say, for example, that you have a client who's generally making really, really good choices. However they face a financial downturn and suddenly they're making emotional choices. It may well be that they are reacting to a traumatic episode from their childhood. So you might want to ask them, Hey, did anything traumatic happen to you when you were a child? Tell me about your childhood experiences with money. So this happened with one financial advisor. She went back to her doctor, and it turns out that her doctor client had lost a childhood home in foreclosure when he was six years old. And she said it makes perfect sense this doctor was behaving just like a six year old, so just through the process of telling that story, this helped the physician sort of snap into the adult self and Use his adult skills and wisdom. So watch your clients when they're behaving irrationally, go back and ask them to tell you childhood stories. Now this has another implication, and it's about you and your behavior since we were infants, our. Parents have groomed us about how to behave in the presence of doctors, how to influence Doctors Opinion of us. You may have been told, for example, that you should always leave the house with clean underwear, because what if you were in an accident. All right, I've been the surgeon in the emergency room treating those car accident victims, and I will tell you, never once have I heard a single doctor or nurse comment on the condition of the patient's underwear. Some of what you have been taught in the past simply isn't true. However, if you find yourself going to a doctor's office and somehow a certain smell makes you feel really uncomfortable, it may well be that you yourself are responding to something traumatic that might have happened in the doctor's office. So if your parents are still living you might want to ask them, hey, in a doctor visit, did anything dramatic ever happen? Like, did something bad ever happen in a doctor's office? And if you find yourself sort of feeling like you want to flee, run away from the doctor's office, or, you know, you tend to freeze. It may well be that that's a clue that you're responding to something in the past, and you can just remind yourself, okay, the past is over. Here's another way that this manifests. Have you ever met somebody and you just immediately have an aversion to that person? You don't even know them, but somehow you don't like them. It may well be that they remind you of somebody in your past, especially in your childhood, that was dangerous for you, that you wanted to get away from. So if you meet somebody, maybe a doctor prospect, and they just rub you the wrong way. You have a choice. You know, you can decide, well, do I want to just say no to this prospect? On the other hand, it gives you the opportunity for you to ask yourself, Well, does this person remind me of somebody in the past who was this person? And you can just remind yourself, no, this doctor. Prospect is not my uncle. This person is perfectly safe. All right. Next idea is, know your limits. There are some things that you do really well. There are some things that you don't do quite as well anymore, so you are in the best position of being a strong leader, where you recognize where those limits are. So I remember one day, you know, I got a phone call in the middle of the night. It was my mother, who was in Hawaii, and she said, Honey, I'm so sorry to wake you up, but I'm in the emergency room. The doctors tell me I'm having a gallbladder attack, and they tell me I need my gallbladder out. Will you come and do it for me? Well, it's nice to have a fan, right? Somebody who really believes in your surgical skill, but I had to know my limits and say no to her. Now, part of this was practical. You know, I didn't have privileges at the hospital where she needed her gallbladder out. In fact, I didn't even have a license to practice medicine in Hawaii. But there is a more important reason that I said no to my mother, physicians are taught that we do not treat ourselves or others because we have an emotional attachment. Right? Our judgment could be impaired by this emotion. So we just have a rule, we don't treat people that we love. That was my limit. How about you? What are your limits? Are there a certain kind of client or a certain set of circumstances where you would be best served by bringing in somebody else, because you have met your limits. Knowing your limits is not a sign of weakness, it's a sign of strength, and your clients will appreciate you for doing that. Next know where you are headed. So I love to play Chinese checkers. It's so much fun to get the board set up so that you can make Oh, 10 jumps in a single move. But whenever I worry about getting that board set up for all these jumps, I lose. Lose track of the bigger vision. It's to get all of my marbles from one side of the table to another. So too, when you're working with your doctor clients, you want to have the vision in mind. Your goal is to help your client get to their destination of their desired financial future while enjoying the journey along the way, if you find that you are meeting resistance, take a look at the playing board. Find out where it is that you are not having your focus on that destination, and then, you know, make a plan for getting there. Remind your client of their why? Why is it that they want to build wealth? Because, for doctors, it's not about the money, it's the things that money can buy, the freedom to do what they want to do, when they want to do it, it's leaving a legacy. So keep that in mind and help doctors get there. All right, and last just remember the prescription for health, be who you are, know what you know and do what you need to do, and then help your doctor clients do the same. Know what your sweet spot is, know the people that you serve so well and so effortlessly because it calls on your core skills. You know, I remember when my son was in Little League, I went to buy him a bat, and one bat was, like, really expensive. And I asked the salesperson, why is this bat twice as much as the others? He said, well, that bat has a big sweet spot. I asked, What is a sweet spot? And he said, Well, that's a spot where the ball hits the bat and you hit home runs. So how do you hit home runs? So that's what I've got for you today. There are some of the tips about the connection prescription that will help you be an even more effective leader. So there you go. There is the connection prescription, a set of leadership skills that will help you be a more effective leader and help there you go. Now you know the connection prescription, which is a set of leadership skills that will help you communicate to your doctor clients about their worth and potential so clearly that they understand that they can achieve Wealth. So just to summarize, the leadership skills are you set the emotional thermostat, let your clients catch your calm instead of your catching their chaos. Number two, let them take center stage and remember, everyone goes around wearing that T shirt that I saw on a toddler. For argument's sake, let's assume I'm right. So how well do you understand how your clients already understand wealth building and understand what they might want to change, what thought might be holding them back. Number Three, make it simple, break through the complexity, so that your doctor clients have a chance to see the core ideas. If they want more complexity, you're happy to share that with them. So ask yourself, you know, am I talking about the suture material, or am I talking about the thing that doctors really want? Number four, master the fine art of verbal persuasion, charisma can be taught understand that your doctor clients want to be seen. Want to be heard. They want to know that what they think is important to you. Also understand that whether you're an introvert or an extrovert. You can still master the skills and discipline to help you be an effective financial leader. Next act from your wisest self, understand that we're not always behaving as the adults that we are with all of our skills and wisdom, sometimes we will revert back to earlier years, often in childhood when we had a traumatic episode. So if you find that you or your clients are not acting from their wisest self, go back and explore. Was there something that happened in those early childhood years. Next, know your limits. You cannot be all things to all doctors, and you are the most effective leader when you know where your limits are. And next, know where you are headed as you're working with clients, understand their why they are not building wealth to have certain numbers on their fidelity accounts. There's a reason that they're interested in building wealth. Help them keep that in mind. If you are stuck, figure out why. Why are we stuck? Are we not keeping this bigger vision in mind? Quite often, wealth building is held back by this conflict between what we want for ourselves today and what we want for ourselves tomorrow. So for each dollar, will that dollar be a today dollar that gets spent today or tomorrow, dollar that gets put to work making money? Keep the end in mind, as you're helping your doctors assume new financial habits, remind them why they are doing this. That's what I've got for you today. Be a more effective leader. Well, thanks so much for your interest, your participation and your listening ear. If you are interested in learning more about how you can help doctors avoid financial mistakes. Please sign in below to get a complimentary copy of my book, The nine money mistakes that doctors make. They love this book as you're developing the fine art of verbal persuasion. Please feel welcome to use some of the ideas from this book here, I'm Dr Vickie. Signing off for now, I want to remind you of the important work that you do. So keep on showing up and standing out and serving well. You are appreciated. You