Rebuilding Marriage God’s Way: Covenant Over Contract

We press into God’s design for marriage as a covenant, not a contract, and share the practices that break the cycle of hurt, rebuild trust, and restore joy. Scripture frames love as endurance and service, with practical steps to lead, honor, forgive, and return to first love.

• culture’s contract mindset vs God’s covenant
• Genesis foundation and purpose of marriage
• vows as sacred promises before God
• love that endures rather than feels only
• Ephesians 5 model of sacrificial love and respect
• husbands lead with prayer, humility, and protection
• wives build the home’s climate with wisdom
• conflict de-escalation and quick repentance
• forgiveness as a command, not an option
• the 3 R’s: remember, repent, return
• catching small foxes that spoil intimacy
• restoration through Christ-centered homes and prayer

Please tell a friend, please share. Check out the website, www.forechristministry.com. Get you a copy of the book Discernment. Please pray for me and Courtney. And please pray for me.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:03

Hello, we would like to welcome you to the FaithCast with my husband, your host, B-Rop. So without further ado, here's B-Rop.

Welcome And Topic Reveal

Culture vs God’s Design

Marriage As A Covenant

Love Endures Beyond Feelings

Marriage Reflects Christ

Roles Of Husbands And Wives

Conflict, Forgiveness, And Grace

Remember, Repent, Return

Restoration And Christ As Foundation

Marriage As Ministry

SPEAKER_01 0:24

Hello, FaithCast fam, and welcome back to the Faith Cast today. It's gonna be a good day because today we're gonna do something a little different. I normally don't do this subject, and I don't know why. Probably because I'm still working in mine after 27 years, praise Jesus. I'm still there working in mine after 27 years, praise Jesus, and what I'm talking about is the covenant of marriage. You see, we're gonna talk about marriage today, and we're not gonna talk, well, we are gonna talk about it. You see, there's different versions. You got there's a cultural version of marriage. You know, the one you see on social media, on highlight reels, but then there's actually God's design for marriage. You see, the culture of modern time marriage is under a lot of pressure, it's under a lot of strain. It's under attack. And you gotta, I mean, look what's the question? Okay, so ask this the question. The question isn't what modern culture says about marriage, right? Even though we see it all day, every day. Um it's cool to get a divorce. But the question is, what what did God say about marriage? What's the Bible say? I mean, it it starts in Genesis, right? Genesis uh chapter 2, verse 24 says, actually, let's back it up. Let's back it up, let's bag it up, let's bag it up to verse 18. It says, It is not good that a man should be alone. I will make him a helper fit for him. And that's Genesis 2.18. Then Genesis 224 says, Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. You see what there was not when this verse was written, when those two verses were written, there were not government, there was not church buildings. You see, that was before society was even structured, the covenant of marriage. You see how important it is, and you see how unimportant it is today? Before society was even structured, before we could even think or thought, a thought, God created marriage. And you see, when God creates something, he gives it purpose, even the blades of grass. You see? So today we're going to walk through five different things. The first being marriage is a covenant, the second being marriage is a reflection of Christ, the third, the roles of the husband and the roles of the wife, the fourth being conflict and forgiveness, because there is no relationship without conflict. And you will never have a relationship without forgiveness. So number fourth is conflict and forgiveness, and number five is going to be how to restore what feels broken. Because sometimes the marriage and the covenant can get stressful. So let's look at number one marriage as a covenant. You see, in modern day society, it's a contract, it's a piece of paper. You gotta go to the courthouse. In Malachi chapter two, verse 14, it says, She is your companion and your wife by covenant. Not by contract, by covenant. You see, a contract simply states, I'll stay as long as you perform. But a covenant says I'm committed, even if it costs me everything. You see, that's why vowels shouldn't be casual. And they're not casual. Listen to these for better or worse, for rich or poor, in sickness and in health. Do you see? Now turn your Bibles to Ecclesiastes chapter five. You see, verse four and five says, When you vow a vow to God, do not delay repaying it. It is better that you should not vow than that you should vow and not repay. You see, marriage isn't just between two people. It's not just between a husband and a wife. It's a covenant made before the Almighty Creator, God. And see, here's the deeper truth. A marriage mirrors God's covenant with us. If you turn your Bibles to Hebrews chapter thirteen. You see? But let's look at modern day society. Modern day society says if it stops feeling good, leave. I told you before that we're both fighters. We're both the oldest of four. And she's done the exact same thing. And you know, it's crazy because a lot of people will tell you to break that covenant with God. Now, what kind of friends are those? Really? Gut check, heart check, what kind of friends are those? You see, when we stay faithful in our marriage, we reflect God's faithfulness to us as a children, as the children of God. Like I said, the culture, there's so many times I've seen it. People get together, two years later, they get divorced. People get together, two years later, they get divorced. It's common. It's unbelievably common. And it's easy to sit there and look on social media or every place or TV shows or whatever and compare. Which we talked about that yesterday. That will get you nowhere. Compare will get you nowhere. You see, when the culture says to leave, and the covenant says love is not just an emotion, it's obedience. In 1 Corinthians 13, 7, it says love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Look at that word, endure. Love endures. Like I said, love endures. Love does not abuse. Love is not unrepentant. Love does not betray. But there is hardship in love. There are seasons in love. You will find that there is weakness in love. But you will also find by keeping God's covenant, it means you fight for each other, not against each other. Because love endures. Second part, marriage reflects Christ. You see, Ephesians five is the blueprint. Verse 25 reads, Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her. Guys, you see, that's not passive love, that's sacrificial love. That is the ultimate kind of love. You see, Christ didn't love the church because it was perfect. His disciples were not perfect. In fact, they were far from perfect. Some would say they were dumb because a lot didn't really understand what Jesus was talking about, the parables. Because it's a radical message. But they sacrificed everything to be the church. You see, Christ loved the church even when it was broken. In Romans chapter 5, verse 8, it says, But God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. You see, husbands, that should be the standard. That should be the standard, a servant heart. Die to yourself, not dominance, not ego, not control, but sacrifice. If you move up to verse 22 in Romans chapter 5, it says, Wives, submit to your own husbands as to the Lord, as you would submit to the Lord. See, a lot of people think submission is inferior, but it's not. It's not inferiority at all. You see, Jesus submitted to the Father, and Jesus is fully God. Submission in marriage is about order, it's not about value. You see, if you look at verse 33 in the same chapter, it summarizes it, it says, Let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband. You see, wives, men have to have respect, and you guys have to be loved. It's the way we were wired. It's a fact. You see, when a wife feels unloved, she struggles to respect herself, much less her husband. And keep in mind, guys, this is a covenant, this is going to be hard. There is nothing easy that is worth having. You follow what I'm saying? Men need respect, women need love. You see, when a wife feels unloved, she struggles to respect. When a husband feels disrespected, he struggles to love. You see? And that's an easy cycle to fall into. And guess what happens when you fall into that easy cycle? It becomes easy for the enemy to attack. And the enemy wants nothing more than to break a covenant between you and God Almighty. So when both of you guys obey Christ, that cycle breaks and it becomes a holy covenant. He loves, she respects, he loves deeper, she honors him more. You see, that is the divine design. That's the divine design. That's the divine design. Yo tell me. Sorry, I I got music all up in my head, and it's it's always been there. But that is the divine design. That's what that's what this is about. Let's get to part three. I know I'm being long-winded today, but it'll be okay. The roles within the marriage, the husband and the wife. So let's be practical, right? Husbands are called to be leaders. It's all throughout the Bible. Don't get mad at me. If I got any women listeners on here, don't get mad at me. Husbands are called to lead. We're not talking about being a dictator, but we're talking about being a shepherd to lead his flock. Okay? In 1 Peter chapter 3, verse 7, it says, Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor so that prayers may not be hindered. You see, did you catch any of that? Let me read it again. It says, Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor so that your prayers may not be hindered. So basically, if you mistreat your wife, it affects your prayers. I said that. I'll say it again. If you mistreat your wife, it will affect your prayers and your blessings. You see, true leadership in a marriage is initiating prayer, protecting the marriage spiritually, providing stability for the marriage, and leading with humility and dying to self. Joshua chapter twenty four, verse fifteen. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. That verse right there is pure leadership. That verse right there. As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Brandon Lake has a song called As for Me and My Home. It's about that verse. It's a great song if you have not heard it. Little Brandon Lake plug. Won't you send me some love? Anyway, like I said, that's leadership. So let's look at the wives' role. The wives are called to build. You see in Proverbs 14, verse 1, it says, The wisest of women builds her house, but folly with her own hands tears it down. You see, women, your words build the atmosphere around you. Your tone ripples and creates the universe around you. And your encouragement builds the strength your husband needs to be a strong leader. As husbands, your gentleness and your love build safety for your wife. If you look at the book of Colossians, chapter three, verse 19, it says, Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them. Ho guilty. You see, marriage flourishes where gentleness thrives. Even when your wife grew up a tomboy and had three younger brothers, and she fought for everything she had. Yeah. I love her. Marriage flourishes where gentleness and love lives. Guys don't forget that. Now we're gonna look at part four conflict, forgiveness, and grace. And let's be one hundred percent real here. Let's be real. Every relationship, every marriage has conflict. Because no one is perfect except Christ Himself, and two people that are not perfect under one roof will clash. And sometimes, if they hold it in long enough, it will go off like a nuclear bomb. So look at James chapter one, verse 19. It says, let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger. Most fights right there escalate because we're quick to speak and slow to listen. We don't walk away, catch our breath, and come back. We don't hug first to get that positive energy before we speak. I find a lot of times that if I just hug my wife and hold her, I can talk to her better that way from in her ear than like looking at her and trying to talk to her. Because sometimes I come across like a manager. You know, that's me. But it's good stuff, good stuff, man. Um, like I said, a lot of fights escalate because we don't listen and we just blow out the mouth, you know? Diarrhea. Ephesians 4 26, it says, be angry and do not sin. Do not let the sun go down on your anger. It basically means don't let the bitterness settle. Don't go to sleep mad. It's not good for your physical body, much less your mental. You see, in Hebrews chapter 12, verse 15, it warns us, see to it that no root of bitterness springs up and causes trouble. Bitterness is like a seed. I mean, you know, it's it's bad. It's bad to not like people, it's bad to hate people, it's bad to be bitter. And it grows underground, you see? It starts small. It's like a little frustration that's unspoken, like, huh, yeah. You know, if if you're hurt, that's it's unresolved hurt, unresolved pride. You know? What do we say about pride? It's not a good thing. So if you look at Colossians 3 13, it says, forgiving each other as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive. Man. That sounded like a commandment. He uses the word must. So forgiveness isn't an option in a covenant, right? Like in a marriage. It's not an option. We have to forgive. You cannot receive daily grace from God the Father if you withhold daily grace from your spouse, whether it be the husband or the wife. You cannot receive daily grace from God the Father if you withhold it from your spouse. So, with that being said, some marriages probably need counseling. But a lot of them need accountability and repentance. You know, they need the mercy seat. And if you don't know what the mercy seat is, you need to email me or call or text me. We talk about that. We talk about that. But yeah. Repentance, accountability. You might need counseling. But I'm gonna tell you this ain't no marriage gonna survive without humility. None. In James chapter four, verse six, it says, God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble. You see, the strongest marriages are not the ones without problems. The strongest marriages are where both parties repent quickly when they do something wrong. Quickly. Don't let it ponder, don't let it stew. They do it quickly. Right then. You see, marriage is tough. Covenants are tough, but remember who the covenant's with. If you're listening today and you think your marriage is uh too far gone, if you're listening right now and you saying to yourself, I don't know, we've drifted, I don't know if it can be changed. We don't really talk anymore. There's no spark there, there's no juice. You know? Let me remind you something. If you look at Revelation verse 2, excuse me, chapter 2, verses 4 and 5, it says, you have abandoned the love you had at first. Remember therefore from where you have fallen. Repent and do the works you did at first. It's a real simple recipe. Remember, repent and return. Three R's. Remember, repent, and return. Go back to courting each other, go back to dating each other, go back to praying together, go back to laughing together, go back to touching with no agenda at all. What I mean by that is not sexually. If it leads to that, then so be it. But with no agenda in your mind, and go back to speaking kindly to each other. If you look at Song of Solomon, verse 15 in chapter two, it says, catch the foxes for us, the little foxes that spoil the vineyards. You see, it's the smallest things that destroy intimacy in any marriage, any covenant, any relationship. The smallest little things. The smallest things like neglect, distraction, might be a phone addiction, TV addiction. And then there's the big one that we talked about earlier is comparison. But see, recognize those things. Make a conscience effort. Make a conscience effort to remember, repent, and return. Remember why you fell in love. Remember why you made the covenant. Remember the covenant. If you look at Joel chapter two, verse twenty five, it says, I will restore to you the years that the locust has eaten. Man, that's joyful. You see, God restores. And we're not just talking individuals, we're talking covenants and marriages. You see, if both hearts turn towards God, restoration is the only thing. Restoration becomes possible. It not only becomes possible, it will happen. Psalms 127, verse 1 says, unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain, unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain. You see, if the Lord, if your house is not on the foundation of Jesus Christ, if the Lord did not build your house, then the people who built it built it for no reason at all. Because it is not standing on solid ground. You see, if Christ is not central in a marriage, the marriage becomes exhausting. But you see, when Christ is the sinner, grace flows abundantly. Those things you thought that would never happen become a remembrance. You start to remember, you start to repent and say, Lord, I'm sorry. Or wife, I'm sorry, or husband, I'm sorry. You start to die to yourself and start thinking about that person. And when both do the same, the Lord starts building your house. And when the Lord builds your house, man, I'm telling you. Telling you. That grace be flowing. He'll have a fountain of grace in your front yard. You see. Marriage is not about happiness first. It's about serving. It's about holiness. It's about a covenant. Not a contract. It's about two people sharpening each other into Christ's likeness. Proverbs twenty-seven seventeen says, iron sharpens iron and one man sharpens another. You see, what marriage does, it exposes pride. It exposes selfishness. It exposes immaturity. And see, that's not punishment. And if you're willing to accept the yes, I was immature, and I'm sorry. And we're not going to do that again. You see? God will use marriage to shape you. And if you are married and you're listening, it's your ministry. It's your covenant. It's not a contract. It's an employer that keeps paying. As long as you do the three Rs. Remember, repent and return. You see. Your ministry is way more important than your career. It's way more important than any platform. You see, your ministry, your covenant is your spouse. I'm gonna say that again. Your ministry, your covenant is your spouse. So if you win the whole world and lose your marriage, what have you really gained? Come on now. Mark 8, 36 says, For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? So let me say what I said again. If you win the whole world and you lose your marriage, what have you gained really? What have you gained really? Cause see, it ain't about you. Even though you wanted to be about you, even though you might lose half your life, it's a covenant you made between God, you, and your spouse. So let me ask you this. Have you stopped praying together? Have you stopped touching without purpose, without tenderness, without love? Have you let pride build walls that you can't break? Notice I said you in all that. Notice I said you in all that. Guess what? Today is the day you are gonna tear them down because you are gonna give it to God. So, husbands, I want you to love her again intentionally, speak life into her, not death. Lead her spiritually again. Wives, I want you to honor him again. He needs encouragement every day, all day. And if you're not praying over him, then you're not doing your job. Or you're not doing your role in the covenant. Honor him, encourage him, pray over him. Wives, husbands, love her intentionally, speak life into her and lead her spiritually. Everything else falls in place. And if you're listening and you've got the best marriage in the world, you better guard it because the enemy lurks. First Corinthians 10 12 says, Therefore let anyone who thinks that he stands take heed lest he fall. So that verse means to stay vigilant. Now if you're listening and you're on the edge, couples on the edge, you know. You still have breath, there's still time, there is still hope. God can resurrect the dead. Remember that. If he can resurrect the dead, he can resurrect love in your home. He can resurrect the sheep in your pasture. Ezekiel thirty-seven speaks of dry bones. Can these bones live? And God said, Prophesy. So I'm gonna prophesy over everybody's marriage that's listening right now. That dry bones may live, that cold hearts may become warm, that walls may fall that we have built, that communication opens, and forgiveness flows. But most of all, that we surrender. Because you cannot fix a covenant without the covenant keeper, the Father, the Creator. Let's go to the Lord in prayer. Father God, we thank you for your gift. We thank you for your covenant of marriage, Lord. Father, forgive us when we've been selfish. Forgive us when we speak harshly. Forgive us when we get angry. Forgive us where pride may have ruled our marriage. Lord, I pray that the husbands listening love like Christ. I pray that I love like Christ, Lord, as a husband. Lord, I pray that wives honor with grace, that heals be wounded, Lord. I pray that you restore what has been neglected, Lord. I pray that you spark or reignite what has gone cold, Lord. Lord, let the marriage bed, let the homes become altars again, Lord. Not just contracts that we can walk out of and get a new one, Lord. I pray that prayer returns to the bedrooms, Lord, the kitchens, Lord, the living rooms, Lord. The whole house is filled with prayer, Lord. I pray that we find forgiveness and that forgiveness replaces resentment, Lord. And that you bind every marriage of every listener out there. So that the cords do not become broken, Lord. I pray for every marriage. Lord, thank you for your grace. Thank you for your mercy. Thank you for this time. Thank you for this platform. Thank you for these words. It's in Jesus' holy, heavenly name we pray. Guys, um eclastes 412 says a threefold cord is not quickly broken. So guys, remember that. Remember that. Threefold. Make Christ the center of your marriage. And you will see grace flow through your home. Guys, thank you for tuning in to the Food for Thought Faith Cast. If you like the Faith Cast, please tell a friend, please share. Um, check out the website, www.forechristministry.com. Um get you a copy of the book discernment. Guys, I love you, God loves you, and uh I'm gonna be praying. And guys, I hope please pray for me and Courtney 27 years, and I mean they they like I said earlier in the podcast, nothing good will be easy. No path traveled, there's always a beautiful valley after the fall. So do not give up, do not check out, do not walk out because it's not a contract, it's a covenant. I love you, God loves you, and if you don't have a relationship with Jesus, if Christ is not the center of your marriage, you better get right.