Old Ranger New Dad

Medical History by TATTOOING WITHOUT INK!!? & Extreme-Childhood Trauma Overcome

• Seth Ryan • Episode 4

Share episode

Lauren and Chase Stroud have Overcome extreme-childhood trauma, surviving broken families, and finding healing through faith, love, and resilience.

Lauren shares her incredible story of battling CALCINOSIS — a painful and incurable disease — and how she accidentally discovered a tattoo “therapy” that shocked doctors and helped shrink the calcium buildup in her body. Together, she and Chase also open up about growing up in chaotic households, breaking free from generational trauma, and learning how to raise their son with strength, faith, and character.

We dive into:

  • Lauren’s experimental tattoo method that helped cure calcinosis
  • Surviving abuse, neglect, and childhood trauma
  • Why faith and character matter more than status or money
  • Choosing the right spouse and building strong families
  • Raising sons to be leaders in today’s world
  • Breaking free from validation-seeking and living authentically
  • COVID, media narratives, and learning to think for yourself

This conversation is RAW, REAL, and Full of Real HOPE. 

Whether you’re struggling with your past, looking for healing, or searching for wisdom in a chaotic world — this episode is for you.

👉 Don’t forget to like, share, and subscribe for more authentic conversations on faith, family, discipline, and resilience.

📌 Follow Ryan (Host):

📌 Connect with Lauren & Chase:

I actually came up with a cure, a cure for the first time with anybody that's ever had this. and I really think it was because I was positive with it the whole entire time. But lo and behold, I like tattoos, obviously. But I started tattooing my legs, which is where the majority of the calcium was building up. And, you know, this calcium buildup was very painful. It was sharp. It was starting to get to where it was going to break through my skin. And then I was going to have to deal with infections. Well, long story short, I started realizing that I tattooed over an area with calcium and the pain went away. And I told my doctors, I was like, I think I might've came up with something. And they're like, well, I mean, you we don't tattoo in the doctor world, but if you want to try this on your own, go for it. So me and my amazing tattoo artist, he literally tattooed my entire legs, 360 around. We cut myself, I guess, into four quarters. You know, so say I would do from the knee to the ankle 360 around. I look like Deadpool. Um, cause it was tattoo without ink. Um, it was terrible. looked like she got skinned. Yeah. Like road rash. Like I fell off of a motorcycle, like even the tattoo artist was like, he was feeling bad because when you throw the ink down, you don't see what it's doing to your skin. when there's no ink involved, I literally look like Deadpool. But lo and behold, it cured it. It started, I don't know how it's working. They're still trying to figure that out. I think they're doing case studies now, but somehow it made the calcium start to shrink. And I am the first person with calcinosis that this is, and worked on. And there's been people that it's working on now. Like staying positive through everything. You don't know what you're going through, but stay positive. Find something positive out of the negative and then keep branching on that and watch the negative go away. You know, if y'all get anything from this podset class, don't be negative, be positive. Like, I don't know how else more to say, but never give up. You know, when there's something that's incurable, uh, there is a way. You know, never give up, never give up, always stay positive with anything and everything that you're presented to, every situation. Yeah, that's obviously super fascinating. I've never heard that before and never that tattooing. I've heard of people saying like when they get anxiety, like tattooing like takes that away as a therapy. But I've never heard of anything remotely close to tattooing your entire legs 360 with no ink. That is wild. That's why. disease that she had, essentially, anytime she would get hit and bruised, the bruise would turn in like where her... That was fragile. That subdermal layer, it would go from just normal flesh to like having a rock under her skin. If I would bruise, it would calcify. It would turn into calcium. So you super careful. Stop riding horses. inner legs were getting bruised from that. yeah. It was everywhere. So we did that in conjunction with a pure carnivore diet for what was that like eight weeks or something like that while she was doing that. So we removed all the inflammatory foods out of her system. And then what we can best guess is that, you know, the irritation from the tattoo machine, uh, it would cause a bunch of white blood cells to, to go to the area and then it would recognize the calcium. then again, she's the first human to transgress. calcinosus in history. So they're writing the papers on her right now. anybody wants more details, like you have calcinosus, reach out. Like I'm totally willing to, like I did a whole little slideshow on it to give the doctors, know, and then they turned that into more. But no, it's like I'm a walking miracle. I've been to hell and back. But who hasn't, you know, everybody has their own backgrounds. You know, but that's why you never want to judge a book by by its cover. You never know what that person's been through, what they're going through, you know, so that's just, you always have to treat people kindly unless they give you a reason otherwise. Right. And that's fascinating. So what's also fascinating about that. So you said, know, stay, keep going, never give up, right? Stay positive. we see that on every motivational poster and it's just rah-rah stuff, for me, it was stories in the Bible of Job, it was stories of Moses, it was stories of those because that's what was in a good way beat into my head. and I never knew how much of an impact that was going to have in my life until I was going through rough times because my family didn't talk, like they never shared their feelings. If you were having a rough time, And that's literally the way I was raised was life is rough. Every day is going to be rough. If you have a good day, enjoy it because it's not going to last very long. And that was the mentality I was raised with. to think that way, you know, it's almost been instilled in our minds like something has to get worse before it gets better. And, know, and, it's good. So now it's about to get bad. Well, you're literally just making that happen. No, can get good and stay good. You know, you thinking that is going to make that happen, you know, and we've become more spiritually like, I mean, we were both raised, you know, in churches and but we're lost the entire times. I mean, I went to church, didn't know much about it, but like, I'm, I'm more, I'm closer to God than I ever have been, but we don't even go to church. Yeah. You know, but I mean, it doesn't have to be about that. You know, it's, it's, it's what's in here. Um, you know, but I would definitely agree to that. You need something to believe in, you know, like I said, we're closer than we ever were. And yes, it's a whole package deal. You know, Yeah, think that's where media right somewhere in the 2000s, all the movies just turned to absolute trash. Top Gun, the sequel to Top Gun, is one of the only movies I can think of off the top of my head. Yep. it's like, you know, pre COVID even they were already starting to go downhill. um But you're right, man. I was just talking to Lauren too much emotion into it. They're just reaching way too hard. They're trying to like wow you with the fake stuff. And it's just like, they're trying to soften movies are so much more like relatable because they're still kind of realistic. Well, they're brainwashing. They're brainwashing us with the agendas and all these subliminal agendas that they're trying to push ideologies without directly saying it. They're trying to soften the man role and they're trying to strengthen the women role, which I get. But I know my place as a woman. Woman power, absolutely. But I also know my place. It's like I still want my man to be the head of the household and I support that. But we bounce everything off. when you say, when you say, you know, strength and empower, my wife is very empowered and it has nothing to do with how much money she made last month. it's, it's your character. And that's something that I talked about in my first, in my podcast of why I started this podcast. And I shared just a little bit, like my wife, the reason why I definitely knew she was the one is because when I was eight years old, having, as I described to you guys, kind of been raised in the church, my immediate family, my dad and my mom were really good about focusing on what you need to look for in a spouse because they know that one relationship is going to monumentally uh decide your fate. Yep. Yep, and of course giving your life to Christ is the most important. However, that is a very, very easy choice. Do I want eternal life and Christ and forgiveness or not? And the alternative, no brainer, right? It's so, to me, we always say that as this obligatory, well, that's the number one. Yes, it is, obviously, obviously. So let's skip talking about that as if that's some contention. In reality, the biggest Decision you're gonna make that you better focus on a in a very disciplined way and it it's not an easy choice is who you want to work with work toward uh You know support and and go through this entire lifetime with and if you make that wrong decision initially the cascade and the fallout from that I could, we could have a 40 hour podcast where I just give you examples of being a police officer going into the living rooms of the everybody on their worst day as they're having a domestic dispute and they're them and their spouse is splitting up. And the one of the reasons why I liked work in the evening shift is because I was able to come into that and everybody's explosive. They're at each other's throats. hate each other now. And okay, calm down. Let's let's. Let me talk to you. Let me talk to you. And what I learned from that constant interaction every single day of getting people who are at each other's throats to pull back for a second and just go, okay, but is this going to help you? And getting them to just pause and go, this was the person that you loved. didn't say that to them, but there was this recognition. There was a softness that once you got through to them, that they would get and they would recognize in my eyes that this was somebody that they loved and that them at each other's throats is not helping their children. It's not helping what they're going through tonight. And I would constantly have to deal with certain families that I was constantly going to. I think that is one of the things that opened my eyes because I wasn't married yet. This was during the time I was a police officer and I'm seeing this every day is divorce, divorce. people at each other's throats. Suicide, I had a lady commit suicide and did it on purpose while her husband was gone with her friends so that when he returned home, he would walk in and see her dead with a gunshot wound and it was horrible. And so I think that just really galvanized in my soul that I knew that I had to find somebody of character. And when I was eight, as I said, my parents, focused me on character issues. So I wasn't looking for a girl who was smoking hot, had this kind of a waistline, had this eye color, hair color. No, I'm looking for a girl who loves God more than she loves me. That was the number one thing my parents beat into my head and that's the reason I'm still married today. My wife loves God more than she loves me and that's why we're still You know, and what you see, and we went through it, obviously. um I wasn't married, but I was in a relationship for, I don't know, it was like six or seven years. We both ended ours basically at the same time and then met. But, you know, I was in a relationship where I settled, you know, I was treated well. um But like six and seven years, I never heard I love you, ever. You know, like that love wasn't there, but I felt, you know, I was like, oh, well, this is all I'm going to get. You know, this is the best I can do. You know, this is what you're supposed to do. You know, eventually we will get married, I had to open my eyes and be like, okay, are you going to settle? Are you going to do like the typical, what everybody else does? You know, I was a little further behind in life because I was sick when most of people were finishing college and getting married and having babies. So I was a little. later in life. I'm glad I was like that because I finally did open my eyes and I was like, okay, this is not what I want. You know, I do want somebody that tells me they love me and you know, I do want to have a family. I can't have a family, but that's a whole nother story. But um I got a, I got one through him, which is fine. But you know, he did the same thing, you know, he's like, oh, and this is what most people do. I finished college or I finished high school. I need to find a person quickly. You know, and I didn't, need to get tied down and get married and have a kid, you know, and I need to get married and then, there's issues. Let's have a kid. Let's make the situation. This, the kid's going to make it better. No, it does not. It does not. And then you're going to create more issues whenever you do separate and then pass that down. You know, so it's just like so many people just think they have to, and then I'm sure it's especially the girls. let me just lock down. Let me put on a show. So we think some of this best person and we're going to get married. And then it was like, as soon as that rings on there, you hear all these poor guys. as soon as the ring was on there and the marriage was over, it's like, they just wanted to have that fairytale wedding. And then it just goes downhill, you know, and then you try and make it work. And then there's just so much struggle and anxiety and yelling and my gosh, take your time. You do not have to get married right out of college. Like what is the rush? What is the rush? Slow down, find out who you are, find out what you want to be married with. Like if you don't love yourself, nobody else is going to love you. You need to love yourself first and then find somebody that's going to match well with you. You know? ah It's so sad how you keep seeing this. Now let me just, let's sit on that point for a minute. You said you have to love yourself. Obviously I'm not disagreeing with it. wanna, but I wanna drive the point home. So we've got a kid who's listening to this and they don't understand exactly where you were when you didn't love yourself. how did you identify, how did you push through that? When you met Chase, it wasn't this aha moment where he walks in and he wisps his hair and then you just have the, his beard. But I'm sure it was, but the Disney fairy tale of Tangled was not written about Chase. uh Although, what was it though? What was it for you that helped push past that? both broken when we met each other. We both helped put our pieces together. But there was that little bit of, oh my God, he is finally showing me what love is. I never had somebody tell me they love me like that. I never, well, I I always spoke love, but until you get it back, you don't really, I guess, know what it is. But having somebody that truly loved one another back and forth, we were able to start kind of put our broken pieces back together. Like I said, I was literally snapped in half broken whenever I was in that wheelchair. I lost all my independence. um You know, my father was just horrible my whole life growing up. um It's like I had to find myself again and you had to have somebody that had the patience to give you there to be like, hey, you are worthy. You are good enough. Now you just have to realize it. You know, and we did that for each other and it took a little bit of time. It's still taking time. mean, we always have to like put ourselves in check, but we have way more good days than bad days. You know, I don't know how else to say it. You know, I'll say this one thing that's helped us and all of this, and me especially. And again, I used to be the my way or the highway type. um I'm able to look at things from a different perspective as to where I used to want to acutely like just, I need to snuff this out, but it needs to be done my way. And I'm not like that anymore. the way, what I, anytime we even start to hint towards an argument. I try to switch gears mentally and tell myself that's your best friend you're talking to. Keep that in mind that she's literally my best friend. Would I speak with any kind of venom in my voice and like genuinely mean this to my best friend? No, I wouldn't. I want my best friend to be happy. I want my best friend to love me. But naturally not forced and that's something that's brought a lot of grace with with I don't need to to be the one to win an argument. And in arguments are meant to be one, they're meant to be worked through together and that's what we do. But my ability to just instantly switch gears like OK, that's my best friend over there. em Let's keep that in mind. before we say anything next. try and be the devil's advocate and put yourself in each other's shoes. And that's what I'm saying earlier, you know, I'm actually able to be present now instead of just walling off and having my ideals and only look at him from this side. I actually look her in the eyes. I visualize her point of view from my point of view. And then she does the same thing. And like there's there's nothing to fight about at the end of the day. We're working in the same direction. Right. Right. like she said, there's usually not a wrong answer. There might be one more right than the other, but they're very, very, very rarely wrong. And I think that's where a lot of people can have a fight that boils over unnecessarily long length of time. They just need to squash the ego and have enough humility to actually genuinely care about that other person's point of view enough to hear it through. quantify it, look at it from every angle, talk about it without expressing, you know, raising voices. And I was really bad about that. And that's something I still work on every time is trying to keep my voice level because I was the youngest. On top of everything I've already said, I was the youngest of three not heard, and I was never heard because I was a mistake and reminded of that regularly. And then my opinion had no. significance to it on top of that. So I literally had to scream if I was to even be looked at in any way other than negative. So that's I still continue to struggle with is like the moment I start to escalate and I escalate quickly and I've learned to be better about that, but something I continuously need to be omni aware of. So, yeah. when you said that you were reminded that you were a mistake, because this is something that I've heard. told daily and weekly. And when they said that to you, they mean what exactly? They mean they... planned. was, my brother and sister were both planned and I was the mistake and I'm just extra weight. He's got some story. He's come very far. Oh, you should hear about my seven-year-old Christmas morning. Don't, no, do share it, share it because what I want, there are kids out there that are experiencing this and this isn't talked about enough. I've heard this from a lot of adults that are broken, that are now in special ops trying to win favor for their dad, who are trying to be enough so that their dad recognizes them and that, hey, now dad, that I've been to war four or five, 10 times, am I a good enough man now? And they're... Right. even if their dad changes, they still feel broken because it's never enough. Right. And right. So do know who Tyler Gray is? I know that name 100 % who, uh... he was the producer for Seal Teams, the TV show. He's been on John Ryan's podcast and he now the podcast called Two Fake Seals. He just released a book called uh Forged in Chaos. And. my gosh, I was just on his podcast. What about two months ago? And I'm telling you what you need to read that book that he just released. I've never had that view of insight. from chaotic childhood and how, like me, like I listen to metal because I have to create chaos to find calm. If you play slow country music, I'll jump out of a vehicle just because that's what my dad listened to. I mean, I will swerve in oncoming traffic to not have to listen to country. And I'm, I'm, I'm texting, you know, shame on me, but you know, at the same time, I don't care either. And I'm unapologetic about all that. And, um, but. You know, that's just one of those deals uh that that extremely. And again, it's normal to me. Let's talk about was just I'm going to cut to it. Seven year old Christmas morning ah again, my dad embryo transferring cattle veterinarian. No days off, no days off. So before Christmas, we always had to go feed, you know, however many hundreds of cows. And on top of that, the calving season is right. in that, you know, in that time is right around Christmas. So we have, of course, a cow that's trying to have a baby and babies backwards. It's uh coming out front feet first. Not a good thing. And we have to pull this calf. So we get her inside of the vet clinic from where she was. Walker out there and we start pulling this calf and it's not coming out. And my dad is screaming and cussing and. Just everything's really bad. And then all of sudden this look on my dad's face changes and it gets worse. And he realizes that that calf's back legs, his hooves have protruded through the uterus and are hip locked, poking through the uterus, trying to go backwards. Not happening. He already knows the cow is as good as dead. She just doesn't know it yet. And the calf is not coming anywhere. And we pulled on him so hard we broke his neck. So he's dead. We now have to cut this calf in half. Bottom of the ribs this way. And I'm sitting here at seven years old holding this thing's legs as my dad cuts it in half. And I pull the upper body out. Blood, guts, quite literally everywhere. Nothing but just the noises of body parts being moved. And then we have to cut the cow apart. and do a necropsy on her. I mean, then like that was a normal day for me. And that's Christmas morning at seven years old. And I talked about it at school, like it was nothing. And these kids are looking at me like, I got in trouble for talking about it. And, you know, and that was just part of the trauma of growing up and just seeing that that was so normal to me already. And that was You look at back, that's absolutely like my son's the same age as I was when it happened. He wouldn't even comprehend putting him through something like that. It could not even, and then the stress that occurred before that trying to save it, you know, my dad's just one person and he's got a seven year old and a nine year old boy trying to help him. And you know, my sister's there and she's 11 and she's not doing anything because she's a girl and my mom's trying to. You know, my dad the best and it's just nothing but screaming and throwing stuff and cussing and you know, was, oh, all right, we failed. Go feed the cows and then uh everybody meet at 10 a.m. and we'll open presents. Wow, that's what I'm talking about right there. That's the stuff that as a parent, that gives me just nightmares. I can't imagine doing that to my own son and to hear you having to go through that. As a protector, because obviously that's what you guys both are, that's what I am, as a protector, that just makes your stomach turn because you go, what in in the world is going through a human's brain that they would think that that's okay. I, again, we're talking about this in 2025 where, you know, we live in air conditioning and we don't have to kill our own cattle every day to eat food. And I get it, right? I've read the book on killing multiple times and he, Lieutenant Colonel Grossman talks about, yep, exactly. And there's a way to go about it. There's a way to do it. so that you are around death and that there is a real cost. And everybody goes back to the Old Testament and if you actually read the Bible cover to cover and you understand the Bible, you realize that God was teaching all the way through the 66 books, all that Old Testament, He was teaching them that sacrifice was what was being, it didn't pay for your sins. but this is the cost of your sins so that when his son came, his blood would blot away those sins. But these people, as we looked at the numbers, which always boggled my mind, I can remember being six, seven, eight in Bible study and listening to them talk about killing animals. And that just blew my mind that they would have to sit there and kill cattle after sheep, after bird, after cattle. And I'm just blowing my, it's blowing my mind and I'm just thinking of what that must be like. And here you are actually witnessing this and actually having to grab ahold of this thing and essentially killing it, breaking its neck as you guys are trying to get it out. That must have been traumatizing, but what's worse, what's worse of going through something like that is the person that you should go to as your protector, the person that should shield you. from trauma, the person that is your protector is the person who is cussing and screaming and throwing things and you're a mistake. Brother, that is heartbreaking. That's heartbreaking. done differently or explained or like, I mean, he's an avid hunter. He doesn't hunt as much as he did, but you know, we're exposing his son, you know, at seven years old, how to take a life, but how to take it properly and what it means and to be respectful. He shot his first doe this last, you know, hunting season. But we made it a great experience. Oh, such a good experience. the time it was shot to the cleaning, but everything's explained and you know, it's good experience, know, and thankful for, you know, the nourishment that that thing's going to us. And that was the best death that deer could have ever had. If it would have died of old age, it would have been eaten alive more than likely by a predator or hung up on a fence and dehydrated with a broken leg. You know, so, you know, he's he does understand the magnitude and the importance of taking a life, you know, and we shoot and harvest squirrels in our backyard. We don't just shoot them and leave them. We clean them. We vacuum pack them and we'll get ready to, uh you know, we get enough of them. We're going to have a feast and you know, nothing's killed just to kill. Right. Right. that's powerful. Lauren, you had alluded earlier that your father was very, very harsh on you. that you can kind of think of? I've blocked out a lot of my childhood I don't really remember a lot. I do remember he was a hard worker. mean, he was a good hardworking man. He just was not a good father and husband. um You know, he would build stuff. was, he was a I guess like a contractor, um he would build stuff all the time. Like he built the barn for me to have my horses in. So like I did have a great upbringing. And I mean, it made me into who I was today. Like everything is a lesson, right? So if it's negative, at least turn it into a lesson so you can learn from it. um But really the, he yelled a lot. He yelled a lot. So it was fun to have friends over because um then we couldn't be yelled at, right? At least not while they were there. It was kind of hidden. I remember that and I guess the biggest thing I remember was during the divorce that was finally happening when I was sick and in a wheelchair. There was a few things I was having to go to get treatments and in the hospital. And I think I was in the hospital for like five days. um Why it was like my first time to get chemo. He wouldn't allow my mom to stay with me because he was too selfish. She wanted her to be with him. You know, like on overnight stays, I'm like 19 years old. Don't leave me in a hospital by myself. I'm scared enough. I'm, I'm going through enough shit right now, but he's got to be selfish. all I can remember was him going around and wanting, it's like he was getting attention from my sickness. I, I remember that. And then I remember we caught him cheating on my mom and he still denies that to this very day, even though he's married to the woman um that he cheated on my mom with, but. So it was like something through the stupid divorce, we have family property, it's a long hundred acres, and we lived in the house down here. We were restoring a house up on the hill that my brother and his future wife was gonna go live in. Well, they weren't living in there yet, because they weren't married, but during that divorce, he had to live there, I guess, or otherwise we were gonna have to pay for him to be somewhere else. So like he literally drove by our house every day, back and forth from work. And he would hide that woman in his truck while he would drive by. And then like, you could see them both walk out up there, but just shit like that. But just like, I don't talk to them today. I probably never will again. Um, I tried a few times whenever, you know, I got better a couple of years later and everything was always about him, him, him. Um, I could tell that he didn't change. And like for those out there, those kids that keep trying to be something for their parent, that's a piece of shit parent. Stop. Like I'm and it's hard because it's like in the in the Bible, you're supposed to love thy father and thy mother, right? But if they're not a good father figure or a good mother figure. Why keep trying, you know, why keep yourself in that? underneath that negative cloud with that negative energy, it's you, you, you can't choose your family. You know, we've met friends that are closer family to us than our own families and that's okay. We're not trying to make something out of, what am I trying to say here? That's never going to be. Yeah. We don't, we don't feed the energy that's not reciprocated. Yes. Right, right. So it's like you were saying like a lot of these kids are like, I'm to go to an army and I'm going to try and make something of myself to finally make my father proud of me. Why? No, make yourself proud. Like that ship has already sailed. You were probably will never make them proud. You need to make yourself proud. Do what's going to make you happy. You know, and you know, Seth, this is, you know, kind of an ironic story of exactly what she's talking about. You know, when I finally had like, OK, Clearly shooting is the path that I need to be doing because I do that better than anything else by orders of magnitude. And it's very easy and I don't feel like I work. So when I decided to do that, know, like I said, when, when Lauren and I first met, she was breadwinner at that point and we made it work. And of course I have to have humility and, you know, just be okay with that. But we came up with a game plan. em We looked at the bigger picture and that's another thing is is a family we always always always play chess. Not literally figuratively play chess not checkers with all the moves in your life always played a long game. And when the war not battles don't matter as much as the war obviously and I don't need to tell you that coming from your background but when we started applying that that mindset. My dad got diagnosed with Parkinson's and Alzheimer's. And it's actually when you have both, it's called Lewy -Body- syndrome. And so your mind and your body go extraordinarily fast. From diagnosis to death, it was like less than four years. how old was he when died? He was young. Yeah, he was he was 10 days before his 67th birthday. Yeah. So He died February 5th of 23. And literally I was driving my son back to his mother. I could tell you within a square foot of where I was when my brother called and said, dad died. And I had my first major money making contract through my shooting company the next day. So that. you know, check mark that you want from your dad is like, Oh, you know, dad, did this thing and nobody pushed me. did it on my own. And, know, to never get to hear the joy of my dad's voice, that hurts. So. that doesn't go away. That doesn't go away. know, and that's what kids need to understand is that what you... So I grew up as a obese child, not my entire childhood, but basically once I was, I don't know, probably around six or seven, I started gaining weight because we ate crappy food. And when I say this to my wife all the time, I'm like, I'm still a fat kid. I'm still just a low fat kid. Like on the inside... That's who I am, you know, and I've been through a lot and I've learned a lot and I apply that to my life. But when push comes to shove, when we get down to the cornerstone of who I am, I'm still just the little fat kid that I want acceptance. I to make people laugh because I felt like that was the only way that I could kind of stand out. Yeah, sure. I was always the funny guy too. that was the only positive way that I could get, um, you know, positive interaction. remember as disgusting as it is, I would like got caught picking my nose and everybody's like, disgusting, quit doing that. But they laughed. And when they laugh, that made me do it more. then it made it, and they do it more when I put it in my mouth afterwards. And it was disgusting. And everybody like, threw me out of the house. Like you get out of here, you're disgusting. But I remember that because that was the first time I recognized that I was doing something to make people laugh. And even though I didn't want to do that, it was, it didn't matter. I had to do whatever it was going to take to make people laugh. And I carried that through my military time and through war. And that's been the only way that that's one of my coping mechanisms. It's been one of the reasons I've been able to kind of self-soothe is by checking out the reality and just focusing on other people and trying to entertain them. But really that's what it is. Yeah, and I used to be a lot of that person too. And know, and Lauren just said, yeah, you still are, you know, and there's an episode of Rick and Morty talking about, I don't know, I'm sure you're familiar with the show. I'm in. So, you know, when Rick, there's one quote that he tells Morty in this one episode, goes, know, dumb people are nice to hedge their bets. And I remember when he said that I'm like, is that why I try to make people's laugh is I'm hedging my bets because I'm that insecure in who I am as a person. And like I've never had like a cartoon like just uppercut me in the liver like that and just be like, oh my gosh, you know, and I'm like, that's exactly what I was doing. I was hedging my bets. um You know, not and exactly how he said it, but like I was being nice and trying to be funny to hedge my bets. And ah I remember after I genuinely thought about that, like I tried, I stopped trying to be the funny, nice guy. And I was just unapologetically myself from that point forward, man, I don't seek approval. Like I literally, stopped like seeking approval after that uh almost completely. Like I realized like I'm married to this awesome woman. And then I have my son who in the world else do I need? any approval from nobody. My immediate core family, nobody else. And for some reason, this woman loves me and my son seems to think I hung them up. So I think I'm winning and I don't need approval. I don't need to make people laugh if they do want to be around me for who I am. Fantastic. Our circle gets smaller yet stronger every single year. Yeah. think what you just said is very powerful because I'm in my mid forties right now and The one thing that I am going to share with my son as I raise him is the older I get, the stronger my bonds are with people that I know I can count on and the less I care about the connections of people that I cannot rely Yeah, right. And you nailed it right there, because, know, one thing that like if if I ever hear anyone talk about, well, I only have so many followers on social media, I'm just like, oh, avoid, avoid, avoid. Because like, why are you trying to get the approval of all these strangers that you don't even know? Like you're still in that search of validity and you don't know who you are. You don't know why you need attention, but you just know you need it. And like if that a person's like that, Like I might be uh an associate of yours, but I'm not your friend. I can guarantee you, will quickly get put on the long list of associates and not on a short list of friends because seeking validity this late in life is like, red flag to me. Major red flag. And that's that's what these kids are growing up to know that's what people think life is about is who you know, I need to be this influence. Like, why do you need to be an influencer? Genuinely? What do you have to offer the world? There's some people that do need to be that positive role model out there. But I think a lot of people do it just because of the easy way out. It's the glory associated with it or whatever reason. It doesn't really matter. They're not doing it for a literal moral and just cause they're doing it to get financial gain or something. Right. Well, we're in that time of the hard times creating strong men and strong men are creating the weak men. that's where we're at right now. These little bitties getting raised right now are going to be so weak. And I'm scared of how the world's going to look like in the next 20 years. Yeah. are, but I will tell you, I've heard the statistics and the numbers that are coming out right now out of middle schools, because they're actually reaching down to middle school levels now and the high school levels. And although girls are absolutely falling off of a cliff completely going as woke and as like just insane as as possible where they don't know they don't know what. the color of the sky is anymore. They don't know if the moon's real. They don't know if the earth's flat. And they're all into not knowing boys and girls and what those are. And yet the boys, are starting to trend very, very heavily conservative, way more conservative than millennials and way more conservative is what I am. literally the line of Gen X. I just slid under the door as it was closing. What I say about the future though, because I'm with you, I think with my son I'm very happy that I'm going to bring strong men into a world where it's needed so much. And so your son that you're raising is going to be a leader. And by default, our children are going to lead other people, whether it's in thought, or whether it's just at their job, it doesn't matter because they're going to have character and all of these other kids that unfortunately aren't being raised with that character. That's why I created this podcast. It's old ranger, new dad, because I want to appeal to the young men that are struggling out there that are our future. They are the future of this country. Everything we fought for, the whole reason we get to wear an American flag and have the ability to do our jobs is because of people shedding their blood so that we have this opportunity. And we hope it doesn't come to that, but if so, the people that are gonna lead those people are gonna be your sons and mine. Right. They're going to be ready. We're not, we're not teaching him to be a sheep at all. Yeah. He's going to be able to learn to do everything on his own. thinker. know, anytime you see a narrative of any sort, Do not follow any agendas of any sort ever. I'm going to throw out something that I didn't necessarily plan to talk about on this one, but this is a great example, I think. When I was at the Baghdad embassy, I'm the bodyguard on the PSD team, personal security detail for the ambassador. we, COVID hits. Now we just got hit by the embassy being under attack. They burned our gates to ground. We were going to die. Trump drops the bomb, the Genzu on Soleimani. So he's dead. And now we're just in this weird time where we don't know if we're going to be going out at all. We don't know if there's another attack. And by the way, now there's this disease that just is killing everyone across the world. And that's what we're hearing. Skip forward about six months. We're still there. None of us can go home because no one is allowed from the Middle East to come to the United States. And it doesn't matter who you are. Sure. in the military, you have to put on a gas mask. Everybody who goes through Marine Corps boot camp has to go through the gas chamber. One thing you know 1000 % is when you put that mask on your face, if you do not have a good seal, you are about to have a very bad day. We are. And it doesn't matter because you still have to break the seal, take it off. You have to repeat whatever they tell you to say. And then you don it again, you blow out the air, but you're still going to be sucking in the CS gas. And it's powerful stuff. That right there taught me that all of the wearing a mask, standing six feet away, all of that was absolute make believe. And I already knew that everyone else in the world knew this as well. at a fundamental level, even no matter how low your IQ is, you can still take a mask, put it over your face, and someone can fart And you can smell that gas, which means you're not protected from any VIRUS going through your mask. And when I see people who wear this thing, and they're constantly moving it, and it has huge gaps right here, it's got gaps here, they've got... hair on their face and they've got... If you do... Yeah, they... How many... I don't know how many backflips they had to do in their brain to get to a point where they believe and are standing six feet away and are believing that this is actually going to stop anything from going into their mouth and through their nose. We never we never wore the mask uh not vaccinated like just not vaccinated never wore the mask like anytime someone at a grocery store would say something I was real quick to get up in their business. You know and then we yeah we just completely refused we knew it was bull crap. We're lucky to be in small town in Texas too and. You know, but it was sad how many people during that and so brainwashed and like all the common sense just went away. Even my own family. Like I was just like, well, I know not to be around you guys anymore because y'all are just completely brainwashed. You know, was just, and I'm the one coming with the autoimmune disease that's highly susceptible to shit like this. And I know well enough that it's, it's, that's the. best scenario is to almost catch it and then fight it and then it builds your immunity, natural immunity, you know? uh why I wanted to bring that up because you had the autoimmune disorder. wanted to ask you, so when you went through COVID, at what point, because I assume you probably were terrified like the rest of us. see videos of, you didn't ever see any of the videos of coming out of China of just dead bodies laying everywhere. Okay. Yeah. buy it. I did not believe it. I'm going to still do my everyday things. You know, I'm going to try and eat healthy and exercise, you know, and like, yes, if I get it, I'm going to fight it. And now my immunity is built and I did get it and I fought it and my immunity is built, you know, and I probably had it, I don't know, maybe three times. I don't know. I never even got tested because I didn't want to be a statistic, you know, to their Bull But It's just a big joke. You know, even before my dad got too bad, uh he, know, him being a doctor, he was even like, no, don't get this back. Don't get this vaccine. was a big test to see how they can control us. I believe and and they got a lot of data out of it. Yeah. You know, like, you can't go in a grocery store. Bullshit. I bet I will go in there and I bet I will buy stuff. Yeah, I would bet. You know, it's a felony in Texas to uh both have a concealed handgun and wear a mask. I chose my 2nd amendment superseding any non-lawful mandate. right. And that anonymity was not an accident. And all during that time when all the riots were happening, and oh, luckily everyone's allowed to wear a mask while they're walking around in these piles of bricks mysteriously showing up. Now I will say this, like I know of guys who lost close family members that were in that right, seemingly healthy and then they died. And of course, what was written on their death certificate certificate was always COVID, right? And once you monetize someone's death, having the label of COVID on it, then you can clearly see if your eyes are open, they're literally gaining money by putting down that that is the cause of death. And so when my buddies were in law enforcement, we're starting to see all the wrecks and all the fatalities are all being listed as COVID deaths. And you're like, wait, what is happening right now? And then that's when it finally came out. And that's what made sense to me. As soon as that I think that's when the biggest light bulb, was just like, all this data came in kind of all at the same time where buddies are like, dude, everybody who dies is a COVID death now. It doesn't matter. Gunshot wounds. They died of COVID. Yep. And so we actually had a guy die at the embassy. And I've never shared that. He was there at the embassy during the attacks and he was about, he was over 400. He was over 400 pounds. And this dude was 5'6", a little over 400, Hard to say, because he struggled breathing every second of his life. And it was very uncomfortable to even be around him. And we have no idea what person who shouldn't have a job anymore allowed him to work at a US embassy, because he could have fallen over with a heart attack at any moment. And he was struggling every day. And so... when we heard, but they played this. They played this so hard and for so long. We've had deaths on this compound. We have had deaths at this embassy. We haven't had deaths. A guy died of a heart attack, way overweight, with absolutely no care as he's eating four times as much food as I'm eating. his life, unfortunately, was cost of that, but He didn't even actually physically die there. He went home to India and died there, but they still counted it as an embassy death and still tried to placate it as though we're all like in this together. We all need to be lockstep holding each other's arms, holding each other accountable, wearing our masks to make sure everyone's safe. And I was just like, how is everyone here just not refusing to use any amount of logic whatsoever? And what told me, What told me as an example, they would come into our housing and they would clean up after somebody was tested positive for COVID. And what did they wear? A full mop suit with a full mask, head to toe, feet covered with boots, hands covered with gloves, completely sealed. That's how you know they didn't just throw a mask on and go into cleanup. And I know a lot of people did die, it's very sad, but I mean, it's just like, it should have been treated just like the flu or something, you know? Yes, it is serious, but do we need to change our lifestyle because of it or try to? No, yeah, was definitely. you know, force people. Yep. yeah, I couldn't go, yeah, it was a big mistake. Like I said, we just tried to live our lives as normal as we could and rode through it. I was curious about your autoimmune disease because again, I had, well, one of the guys that I was working with, his wife uh had that and he was very much stressed and he couldn't get home, but he wanted to go home and see her. again, this was very beginning. And so everybody was kind of freaked out. And I had been, and this is part of it too, is when I took microbiology in college, I came out of that class and I was like, there's going to be another black death. It's coming. Holy, like the more you learn. like literally right now a woman just died from uh the plague in Arizona last week. Yeah, I'm sure something else is coming soon and it's another test. What is everybody going to do? Are they going to follow or are they actually going to stand up for themselves this time? um, but yeah, I mean, you got to be careful, but you can't just live in a box your whole life. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and a funny, a funny saying is right. Uh, when, when, life gives you lemons, at least you're not going to get scurvy. So the reality is, um, that's not, that's not a t-shirt. I didn't come up with that, but in reality, like, like even in that, right, you have an autoimmune disorder. You're everybody's freaking out. If you have this, you're, you're probably going to die of COVID. And yet you didn't live your life in fear. You just continued as always. Yep. Yeah. Like we'll die in a hot pile of brass before we let people control us. I promise you. And with my other job, I've got the projectiles that will probably win. Yeah, you have to. part of it. So for kids that are, like I say, that are learning a little bit more about you guys' story and about what you do, obviously, again, I want you to share with us what you share with your own son. And so you guys were able to come through all of the different struggles and overcoming the odds you came through some very rough times with your families, I'll put it that way, and you came through relationships where you're being treated poorly or it was definitely not the right type of a relationship. What was it when you met each other? What was that moment for each one of you individually, this question? What was it that let you know that that was the person? What was, it wasn't this spark, wasn't him, the wind. blowing through his beard as much as we want to believe that. What was it that really nailed it down? you didn't? Oh, even better. no. You know, for me, for him, what was the sealed deal was, okay, first my dog has to like him, my great Dane, because you know animals have great senses. And it was how great of a father he was. You know, he was going through an awful divorce and his child, how old was he? was like two when we met. So he was itty bitty, you know, and. He's not on the spectrum, but there's, there's slightly stuff on the spectrum. he's. a ricochet from autism. Yeah. He's not the easiest child. Um, but that's why we're working so hard with him, you know, so he can thrive in society and he's going to, but just the, the approval for my dog, which is, was my baby. And then how good of a father he is, you know, knowing. and knowing now what he came from, what I came from, I was just like, wow. Not only does he love me, but he loves his son too. it's like, he looks scary and intimidating to a lot of people, but he's just a big old teddy bear. He is, and that's what won me over. Yeah. You know, for me, it was real quick. to see, like to actually have someone that had kind of gone through what I had gone through. So this is the first person I've ever been able to like relate to like on a, like a real serious level. So we already kind of had the same defense mechanisms when we got triggered, which honestly turned out to be a good thing because we handled things the same way. And I was able to actually like, recognize that in her body language and everything. um That helped me a lot. So I was able to communicate with her instantly better than anyone I'd ever been able to and like kind of get to the root of the matter. then, like she said earlier, I'd never been like, truly supported ever in my life by a single person that was just like, It didn't matter if we were renting half of a dog house to live in, or if we had won the lottery. Like I just knew she was going to be that same person no matter what. And she was going to die defending me, whether I was right or wrong. And I recognized that pretty soon and I just had never experienced that before. And honestly, know, It's hard for me to handle because I didn't feel like I was worthy of such love. Like, why would this stranger love me this unconditionally when my family necessarily didn't? Like there was always terms to love in family. And this woman just doesn't matter if I was going out and doing good or if I was failing at what I did at the time. It just didn't matter. Like she was there. Like what you think is that fairytale wedding, you know, the, you know, you get out of school and you get married and you have a child, you know, so like, I mean, you were hopeful that it was going to be the thing and it turns out to something you're not. And it's like, you know, like I remember when you first met me, you were almost like, don't even know if I want to get married again. Yeah, I was, I was nervous. I was very gun shy, but yeah, but it was just really her full, like there was no doubt whether she had my back or not. That was. That gave me an air of confidence that I never had been able to tap into in my life. And it seemed like no matter what I was doing, I couldn't fail. And it out that she was right. And I was able to commit to something all in while she kind of financially supported us. And then I got this other contract that just completely tipped the scales. now she doesn't have to work right now. And she will find like the. And let's go back to her Reiki stuff. You know, I was very like, man, I don't know about this. At first, will 100 % be the first to say every time she's ever worked on me. It has not only worked, is like, dang, you're fixed what the problem was. um Whether it's emotional, psychological or physical. she has healing without medication basically. uh Man, I tell you what. She's got some sounding bowls and she didn't even touch me. She just puts her hands near me and you can feel your body parts like my knee, uh my feeling, my hands, like you can feel them get hot. And I was like against it at first, but I will be the first advocate that it has helped me as much as anything ever has helped me. I'm very, very thankful that she's going down this path because it's not just something that's helping veterans and whatnot. She's helping herself and our family. It works on my son quite a bit. They're great guinea pigs. Man, I tell you what, my son is extraordinary. He had no idea what was going on the first time he got it. And then if you saw the level of calm on that child who is extreme ADHD. It's that's another thing we you know we've had to work on and and and get over it's like hey you got great ideas I got great ideas let's work together here as a team to help this kiddo. But you know, it's like we're fighting the other household and I feel like we're making such great progress when he's here with us mentally, even emotionally, know, such anxiety that he's not good enough. It's like, where do you even get that from kiddo? Like you're amazing. Like you just need a little one-on-one practice and you know, you're going to be just fine, you know, but it's yeah, we've got a great package deal here. uh We've been having fun. We've been growing so much as a family. Like I am looking forward to what the future holds. Yeah, it's very exciting. know, and we're just trying to live in the now, the moment right now. Don't live in the past. Don't let the past define you. Live right now. You know, get your vision board up. You know, get those goals, get those dreams and stay positive and get get towards that. Don't let the past define you. Don't let people define you. Be yourself. you know, and see what you're going to become. What's, since you mentioned it, that's a great ah question. What's on your vision board? What does it look like for you guys moving forward? were both born and raised out in the country and right now we're living in town. On our vision board, we've got a big piece of property, we've got a two-story house, we've got a tank, we're going to have chickens and cows and horses. That's what we want. We want our little oasis to where we can almost kind of hide from society. Like I said, it's self reliance that's awesome. off the grid, but off the grid enough to where, yeah, I mean, we're not letting social media influence us and define us. You know, we want to be who we are. this next generation, think if there was one thing and they could just learn to be self-reliant for a little while, it would be so addictive to them and they have no idea because it's hard work, right? And they would never want to do that. While you're scrolling on your phone, you don't want to do that. But if you were ever to actually put that down, yeah, right. of these kids cannot live with their phone. Like we don't let his son play on our zero technology. He doesn't have a tablet. And then every time we go to a restaurant, you just see these kids with these giant earmuffs on. They're just like, f***! You know, like... Communication has gone out the door. Families are just burying their phone at the table. They don't even communicate. Yeah, our phones are down. We're communicating amongst ourselves. the whole time. We don't get anything out. When we're in all we do is just like we tell my son like look over at that kid and like a kid will literally be like drooling watching their tablet just like just popping bubbles on a screen and I'm just like you see how bad that looks Canon and he's just like how I got I felt sorry for the dating community. We could go down this rabbit hole more. yeah speaking of which which dating app was it that you guys met on again? Exactly, that's the joke on Facebook going through a divorce and I was like, oh, he's available. You know, I basically I had manifested him, um you know, it's like one of my friends, I guess when I was working, I don't know if he was married, it was probably two, two years before I met him. Like she showed me his, his wife at the time her car had gotten stolen. And um I was like, my gosh, man, she's like married to this hunk of a guy. was like, man, she's lucky, you know, and never thought anything else of it. But I was like, I know who she is, but I don't know. he is, but man, she like, she's lucky she got her a heck of a guy, you know? And then that same friend, it was like two years later, she's like, my god, remember those people, they're getting divorced now. And I was like, there's my guy right there. He's available for grabs. And I reached out to him, you know? And then it just went from there. So that's the joke, right? Is that this new generation, is on apps. And their idea of what successful is going forward is being able to get right swipes, whatever, however it works, left swipes, right swipes, getting swiped on by attractive women and being that guy that everybody wants, Yeah. That's the reality is the more people I'm going to constantly ask that question uh because the people that I have met that are happy. Not there are people. My literally my sister met her, met her husband on Yahoo singles. And that was back in the yeah, that was in the early 2000s when everybody know you don't you don't date on Craigslist and you don't date on Yahoo singles. That's ridiculous. But that's where, and they're still married to this day and they love each other to death and they've been through a whole lot of things. But that's an exception. Usually it's somebody is being introduced by a friend. I've introduced somebody to their spouse from work. My wife has introduced somebody in the Marine Corps when she was in the Marines, a guy that was just interested in God, asked if he could go to church with her. She introduces him to one of the girls that's there at the church and now they're married, they've got multiple kids and they're yeah, they're definitely the type of people that are gonna make it the long haul. So that's what I wanna always throw that out there. You don't have to rely on an app to find a quality person. More likely than not, it's gonna be a friend. a lot of like type people on there, but at the end of the day, like, are they being honest on who they really are? Yeah. And that's, you know, a time with. And I'll be the first to admit, you know, that social media swallowed me up for a while. You know, I, I, well, we both competed in bodybuilding before we met each other. But right before I met him, you know, I was with that guy that never told me he loved me. You know, I was kind of fresh out of the wheelchair. I was working out to go do NPC bikini, um, just to tell my doctors, oh, you don't think working out is good for me. I think this is what's keeping me off of medication. You know? So like I was doing that, but I was finally kind of finding myself again, more attractive. You know, I had a bad ass body, you know, there was not an ounce of fat on me, you know? So was like doing modeling on the side, you know, like my social media, like that's all I was like getting engorged with. You know, and that was not healthy. And I could see that the community, that's all they're involved with right now. It's like, yes, how many likes can I get? How many comments can I get? You know, they need that validation. And I'll admit, yes, I was one of those people, but was it a good place for me? No. You know, it made me somebody that I wasn't, but I did learn from it, you know? And it's like, boy, you don't see me doing that anymore. I don't want that, you know? And it's like those that are trying to find, I guess their soulmate, like if you're looking for somebody and that's how their social media is still, I don't think they're ready for a serious commitment yet. You know, they're still seeking validation. They don't love themselves yet. They need other people to love them still. So they're not going to love you yet. Yeah, their image is more important than their character. Yeah. If you're looking, I would avoid those types of people. Yeah, well, and I think that's the hard part, Is people get stuck in that track of trying to make people laugh. They get stuck in the track of right of trying to please their parents and they're doing it through academia, getting more degrees or doing it through a job that they're stressed out of their mind and they're they're making money. But all of it's about money. And really, again, it goes back to trying to please their parents, trying to try and prove themselves. you know at some level to some person and but it's The people that you're meeting throughout your life that are stuck in that lane Sometimes it takes one of somebody to reach out and be like hey just so you know You don't actually need to please your parents Gary Vaynerchuk I don't know if you've ever followed him at all at all But he at whenever he does a keynote speaking he constantly harps on that over and over because all of these people that he talks to are focused on their parents and approval from their parents. And that's what stops a lot of people from being successful in anything that they want to do, but especially in whatever pursuit that they do for money, whatever the vocation is, and the relationships. And it was heartbreaking at the Baghdad embassy, one of the guys that came to church when we started getting to know him, his wife was actively divorcing him and he was an Indian guy from India. His wife was divorcing him and he was literally living at the Baghdad embassy going through all this hard stuff. And his wife was divorcing him because his skin color was too dark. That's what she told him. So she was leaving him and he can do nothing about it. He stuck and we all of the whole year, 2020. And well, in both of their parents introduced him, said, this is who you're going to marry. And so it was a pre- arranged marriage. And so now. He's now getting divorced and he can't do anything about it. He can't leave to go home. 2020, we're all locked down. We can't leave. And so that whole time, man, that tore that guy's heart in half. And it was so gut wrenching to just have that conversation with him and listen to him. Just his whole world's been torn apart and he thought he was going to have this amazing life and he's going to be successful. And here he is making six figures in Baghdad doing this day, a job in a dangerous place. all the stories he's gonna have to share who's gonna have a story that trumps his when he gets home? But yet his wife is divorcing him regardless. And in reality, you gotta focus on that character and you gotta really make sure that the person you're choosing is the person you choose that's gonna fit for you. You can't let other people live that life for you. Awesome, well, I don't know if there's any more stories you guys want to get into. We've been going for about two hours already. So if there is, feel free to jump in. But otherwise, we do have to see a picture of your rifle or the see your rifle behind you because I've been seeing that this whole time. And yeah. this is Lauren's 22, actually. Whoa, okay, there's no recoil on that, that's obvious. Wow. That is awesome. Yeah. Okay? it's got a Eric Cortina Gen one tuner on it Leopold Mark five five to twenty five and we can. We can and we do shoot these things regularly out to over a thousand yards with twenty two subsonic ammunition. Because of you know what I do with the big guns it's a lot easier to train and practice your wind calling with these smaller guns that are you know. So when you can make wind calls at 500, 600 yards with a 22, shooting out to a mile with a big gun is kind of cakewalk. Yeah, yeah, that's hilarious. Super, super funny, super odd connection there. 22. When we grew up out in the country, uh there were some neighbor kids who we would shoot each other with BB guns. They used to have 22 fights. Yes! uh at us like that was normal and they wanted to know if we could play with it, if we wanted to play with them. And they've got holes of through and through 22 round shots. And we're like, you guys are out of your mind, but they're dumb kids and they didn't know any. And we're talking about like a 13 and 14 year old, right? These aren't well-developed children here. And I was like, you guys are going to die. There's no way those kids are alive today. None. There's no way. And I guarantee you, I... getting by somehow. their their death certificate says COVID 100 % 100 % COVID by 22 Absolutely around a whole, all the questions, all the answers. we've covered a lot of ground. I'd love to any, you know, anytime you guys are doing something new, moving forward on your, on your dream board, you know, obviously I'd love to have you guys again, because I think that the things you've come through in specific stories, man, and I know that you try to block out the bad, but just those, those stories that stick with you and really help somebody because they're going through it. There's some kid out there. whose dad also made them try to pull a calf out of a cow and guaranteed there's somebody in Oklahoma who had to witness that around Christmas, if not on Christmas, and they heard this story and they're like, that I've been through that. What is it like to be grown up and to get over that? How do I get over that? Right? So that someone is if there's a young man that's like in their mid, you know, 20s to even 30s that just like I'm on LinkedIn is just Chase Stroud Nothing special. It's a picture of me, you know, behind a rifle. If anybody needs to talk to me about anything, just DM me on there, man. I'm more than happy to help anybody get through anything they're going through mentally. I don't care if you're a stranger or not. I'll help you. So if anyone is struggling, more than welcome to reach out. We've both been through a lot. Obviously we only touched a few bullet points. I've got literally hundreds of stories. Like my brother tried to kill me with a garden hoe and my dad sewed me up because he's a veterinarian. You know, and I've got a giant scar. I've been waterboarded uh and nearly killed when I was uh 11. em Like I've got countless stories of me thinking that was normal to grow up. And if people don't know how to kind of get through something, or think through something that happened traumatically in their childhood hit me up man. It does get better. In my upbringing is nothing compared to some people's. Mine is a cakewalk compared to some people's. uh forget the guy's name. He was on Sean Ryan show. um He was he easily had the worst upbringing of any human I've ever even heard of. But he's the guy Victor Marx. Yeah. watch Sean Ryan's show with Victor Marks. If you think you had a tough childhood, you didn't. Go listen to his story. That'll re-prioritize how hard you are to yourself, your ability to work through things. hit us up. We'll always help anybody out. I don't care if you're a stranger. Yeah. And it's just, mean, everybody goes through something, you know, and I worked for a facility where we took in girls, 12 to 17, you know, that were sexually abused. They were trafficked. You know, I've seen so much. I've heard so much. I mean, everybody's going through something, you know, but are you going to let that define you? I sure hope not. You know, learn from it, become better and then help others. The last thing I want to, there's something that I definitely want to get, I have to hear this story. Here's the thing, you talk, Chase, about the calf and you witness something bad, but you never uh mentioned actually taking physical damage. You mentioned that your brother hit you with a uh hoe. physical. I took more physical damage. I've been shot. um Yeah, I've been beat more times than I can even begin to tell you. Knocked unconscious more times than I can even begin to tell you. But yeah. Both. um Dad and brother. Brothers friends. Brothers friends. uh You know, he's two years older than I was, so they obviously had a leg up on strength and numbers both. Hmm intelligence so but yeah I this this happened when I was pretty young I was only I think five my brother was seven and I was playing with my toy trucks in a sandbox and my brother. Had a garden hoe and he was told to get the stickers out of the sandbox for us to play it and he had zero interest in it until I started playing in it and then he declared it as his own. And I mean he got in trouble for. that and then he was like, you got to go get the stickers and go get the garden hoe and weed the stickers out. And he came up from behind me and hit me in the top of the head with the garden hoe just completely laid my head open. It looked like I got shot. I remember the look on my mom was mowing the lawn and I remember like staggering up to her and the look on her face of terror and she jumped off of the mower and it just ran into the side of the house and died. And then the next thing I kind of remember is my mom like kind of, I got double whammy on this one. My brother was running from my mom while my mom was holding me. She ran around a corner and hit on the wall. then I remember my mom sitting in a chair in our kitchen, holding both arms around me and squeezing me as tight as she could. while my dad sewed my head up with cow sutures and it felt like shoestring in a giant curve needle that was literally about the size of my finger. uh yeah, that is just one of. 50 physical severe injuries I took as a young kid. See, that's what takes it to another level. Like there's a lot of people that have taken a lot of psychological damage and I totally get that. Once you start passing that to go into the physical side though, not only is there a physical scar you can actually look at, but that memory is so visceral because you can still, I guarantee you can still feel the top of your head, how much pain that that... was for you at that moment. at that such a young age where everything is so permanent, like we just talked about earlier in this podcast, you're still that kid. Like on the inside, we're all still the little kids that we were. And for you to have to go through that, I hurt myself one time. actually tripped and split my head open, but it was because I was throwing a temper tantrum. and I tripped over cowboy boots and fell onto the corner of a coffee table. But I don't remember that. I remember being in pain and I remember one time just being in so much pain and screaming and everybody was freaking out. But I didn't remember what that was. My mom told me that story later. But the reason why I had to bring us back here for that story because my cousin, who's actually my uncle, so I grew up with a cousin uncle because he was way younger than the rest of my uncles. and aunts, but his mother actually was the oldest child of my mom and their family and then she committed suicide. So now my grandparents had to adopt their grandson and so they never told us. So they raised us as though because he's going through school, he's only a few years older than the rest of us. But he was such a horrible person that he would take me and my cousins out. And you talk about your brother when you said your brother's friends. So what they would do is they took us out in the woods and they found a pit that was natural that the water had just washed out a gully, but it was this perfect little pit. And they would sit up there and they would bring kids from school to come fight me, to come fight our cousins. And then that was a sport. And so they would bring us down. and push us into this pit and say, if you don't fight, I'm going to beat your skull in. So fight. And I would never fight. And so this other kid who they always, he was about my size, they would always bring him because he lived right down the street and we're out in the country. They would bring him over and he would always be more than happy to punch me right in the face. And he would punch me and punch me and punch me and punch me. And then eventually, once enough blood came out, My cousins will tell the story. I'll have to interview my cousins on this one. But then I would see the blood and I would just scream and bloody murder. I would chase him and I would pound his face in and they would have to stop me. And that's what, when I look back at my childhood, my parents had no idea that it ever happened to me because nobody ever talked about it. but. listened to a podcast that I was on recently and she's like, I don't remember any of that. I'm like, I'm quite aware that you don't remember any of that because that's how uninvolved you were. Yeah. You you refuse to see what was right in front of you. You chose to ignore. You're too afraid to speak up. Or she was too scared of my dad to say anything or do anything. It just put on the blinders and pretend nothing happened just to keep the peace. So. You know, this is what it is. It is, you know, and going forward right here, we all are, we've all had terrible experiences in our lives. That's the point of my podcast. I want the young kids that are grown up and going through rough times to know. There's other people out there that are going through rougher times and that's not something that's going to give you any real comfort, but just know it actually could be worse. And they're Yeah. right? All over the world, people are suffering every day. In our country, you are going to eventually get a little bit older. You're going to have autonomy. You're going to get out. And man, get out of that house. The people that get stuck mentally, that are mentally locking the jail cell from the outside, they're literally reaching around and locking themselves in jail every day by staying in that house with people that are domineering and Not even physically abusive, because there's so many people out there that aren't crossing that line, but are keeping their kids mentally beat into the dirt. And those kids are never experiencing real life, and they're getting older and older. And everybody's talking about this epidemic of all these young men that are refusing to grow up. There's a whole lot of abuse that's going on out there, and it's not natural. And you can't blame this on the economy. This isn't the economy. There's a reason these these young men are choosing not to get married or choosing not to form relationships. And to me, what I see is a whole bunch of young men are being told this horrible tale of, beyond that door is certain death. And so you see the man, he goes before the firing squad because at least he knows that he'll die of firing squad rather than the, you're already familiar with that story. It's a super old bit told a million times. uh they would rather choose the known death over the unknown fear of what it could be out there and in reality What was the unknown fear freedom and so so you don't know once you get out on your own though You can make a great life and if you can find someone who's been through stuff, too You can become each other's, know stronghold you can be each other's strength and and other's backs like no other. you guys are and that's why I love having you guys on the podcast and sharing all these stories. You guys have come through so much and you're going to continue. And I love to see that and just stay strong. Keep sharing your positive message. And Lauren, no matter how many creeps message you on LinkedIn, just keep posting. I know my wife gets them too. All right. Well, hey, I'm working it. ahead and call this to an end. I want to say is, again, you guys are always welcome back. I love having you guys on. just keep sharing those positive messages and being an example out there.