Finding Purpose in Life's Unexpected Storms

Kelli Proctor shares her journey from valedictorian attorney to minister and author, revealing how embracing life's storms led to discovering her purpose as an encourager. Through authentic conversation, she illuminates how returning to childhood passions helped her fulfill her calling to bring light to others.

• Finding comfort in your authentic identity rather than pursuing careers for money or prestige
• Overcoming significant challenges during law school including 9/11 and housing instability
• Using discipline and perseverance to graduate as valedictorian despite obstacles
• The pandemic creating both urgency and space to pursue creative projects
• Writing the book and companion album "Help Me Welcome the Storm"
• Discovering ministry through small steps of obedience and overcoming insecurity
• The importance of being comfortable with yourself before pursuing relationships
• Learning to believe bigger and shine your light in increasingly dark times
• Building a relationship with God as the foundation for discovering purpose

Find Kelli's book "Help Me Welcome the Storm" and companion album on Amazon, Spotify, and YouTube.

Thanks for listening! 

Until next time, continue to press into your purpose!

Transcript

Meeting Kelly Proctor

0:24

Hello, my name is Valeria Wright and welcome to another episode of Pressed Into Purpose. Let's meet today's guest. Kelli Proctor is an attorney, author, minister and speaker who graduated with honors from DePaul University in 2001 with a degree in history, pre-law concentration. While at Depaul, she was a member of Alpha Lambda Delta and Golden Key and president of Depaul Gospel choir. From Depaul, Kelli attended howard university school of law, graduating as valedictorian of her class in 2004. Kelly also received an LLM in family law from Kent College of Law. Kelli is a licensed attorney in California, Arizona and Illinois. Currently, Kelly is Managing Director at Novus Law and an ordained minister and Associate Pastor at Lifeline Church Chicago. She has been married to her husband, jason, for eight years. In 2022, Kelli released the book and companion album Help Me Welcome the Storm. P lease help me welcome to the podcast today, Kelli Proctor.

1:36

Yay, I'm here, hello and welcome.

1:39

Thank you. Thank you for joining me today. I'm so excited to have this conversation. Yes, I have grown to know you over the past what six years, I guess?

Speaker 3 1:50

it's been around. I always thought you were a nurse.

1:52

I don't know where that came from.

Speaker 3 1:54

But for some reason that was in my head for the first two years of me knowing you and then you found out.

2:00

Wait, she does construction. What?

Speaker 2 2:02

Construction what Okay?

2:07

And it's been and our relationship has grown since then. Yes, and I am so glad that you are one of the people that are part of my life and I'm so glad that you chose to honor me with your presence on today and be on the podcast I'm so glad to be here, my first podcast, yeah well, let's jump right into it.

2:25

Okay, so we've heard your bio and I know that you wear many hats, and so I want to ask the first question what would you say would be a common theme that weaves through your life?

Speaker 3 2:40

Wow, so you're hitting them right off the bat. I had to fake, take your time.

2:47

Take your time, no rush here.

Speaker 3 2:58

So a common theme throughout my whole kind of life, I would say a common theme for me has really been being comfortable with who I am and who basically God created me to be. I feel like, especially when you start talking about purpose and like how did you find purpose and all of that, I think for me purpose was innate when I was younger it was just stuff that I did, that you don't even know what you're doing.

Speaker 3 3:21

I used to make up little songs, I used to write stories, I used to host my own little talk shows in my house Really, yes, like I had a little microphone, like I was doing all the little stuff you know. And then, for some reason, I guess, you feel like you have to grow up and you kind of lose that.

Speaker 3 3:38

And then you start basically trying to like figure out well, I don't want to be. So. My basically trying to like figure out, well, I don't want to be. So my whole thing growing was I didn't want to be a teacher because my mom was a teacher and I had a lot of family members that were teachers and it's just like it seems like an easy thing to like go and I was just like I know I don't want to be that and I wanted to make a lot of money.

Speaker 3 3:57

So then it was like, well, I don't know what I want to do, I don't know. So it was this whole kind of just well, I'll just be this because of X, Y and Z. And then it was after some time of just being, you know, an attorney which is a great job or whatever I feel like I started to get comfortable in who I was and again going back to writing and just other things that I did, Like I said, innately when I was younger and now I feel like I'm at a place where it's still a struggle, but I feel comfortable, more comfortable every year in who I am. I don't know if that answered your question.

4:33

It does, it does. So you said you feel like you have been innately doing things since you were younger.

Speaker 3 4:43

Yes.

4:44

Like writing and, you know, with a microphone and all of those things. Yes, and so a lot of the part of the life that I know you from. You are with a microphone in your hand. You have written a book, you know what I'm saying, You're singing you're praying, you're preaching, you're teaching all the things, and so if you had to wrap up what you believe your purpose is, what do you believe your purpose is?

Speaker 3 5:22

yeah, um, I believe my purpose is encouraging people um, period, but encouraging people especially in their walk with the lord and growing in that. Um, and regardless of before I was in any title, any position, that was kind of my role. I would be the encourager of my friend groups, you know. Know, I would send out, I remember before, like you know, blogs. We would just email each other all the time long, okay, this inspirational message or that, and then eventually I did kind of make a blog for a while. Then I did like a Bible study, again, nothing church affiliated, just me and my friends or whatever. So I just feel like innately, it's like if I learn something I want to share it with somebody else.

Speaker 3 6:07

And if I go through something, I want somebody else to know about it so that they don't necessarily have to go through it. Because I really feel like everything that I go through is not just for me, it's for somebody else. And because I had that mindset when I'm going through things, it helps me to not be so pitiful or victim, you know whatever, because it's like okay, this is for a greater purpose.

6:29

It's bigger than me.

Speaker 3 6:30

So that's kind of how I see my life is like okay, how can I encourage or help somebody in whatever I'm dealing with or going through?

6:40

Got you. I love that, because I feel like I am an encourager as well, and I guess that's kindred spirit, yes, and why we get along so well, right, right. And so let's start, let's go back to your childhood, and so I'm not now, I'm curious.

Speaker 3 7:00

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

7:01

What kind of like songs were you singing? Oh, I have them. What kind of songs.

Speaker 3 7:06

My number one song when I was like four or five years old was Walking Down the Street with a Bigger Head. My Mama Said I had no idea where this came from, but it was a whole song because we'd sing it Walking down the street with a bigger head. My mama said mama said Walking down the street with a bigger head. Mama said mama said walking down the street with a bigger head, yeah, yeah, walking down the street, walking down the street, go, go, walking down the street. Yeah, that was the whole song. Yes, yes, oh, my goodness, and that wasn't, that was just one song I remember me, and my mom made up another song we're a, a Family.

Speaker 3 7:43

Okay, we're a family, a family. Sometimes we holler, sometimes we friends. And then she said that's a good song. And then I said it's true too. And literally we would say that, like if we've gotten arguments with each other, or something. Okay.

7:57

So yeah, just these random silly songs.

Speaker 3 8:00

I have no idea where they came from.

Finding Comfort in Identity

8:02

So singing has been a theme throughout your life? Yes, so tell me, tell me about your, your singing I guess at this point we'll we'll call it a career or your, your, your legacy of singing in different areas of your life and how that has um and how that has helped you.

Speaker 3 8:21

Yeah, no, I think, you know, growing up, my parents were both musically inclined. My dad was a musician, my mother was a singer and you know it was always music, all you know. Throughout we were always in choirs, in church, school and all of that. But I think for me, you know, as an adult, it was always like you know, me being supportive, being in the background, singing, holding a note, holding a tune, but what where God really stretched me was just me going off by myself and just singing by myself, basically, or me being the lead type of thing. And that's always been a stretch because it's pushing past my insecurities and fears about myself, like I don't even like how my voice sounds, like in terms of talking.

9:14

Oh, trust me, I get that. That's why I didn't want to do the podcast.

Speaker 3 9:18

I didn't even like the way my voice sounds. Nobody's going to be listening to this Yet here we are, and I guess who likes the sound of their voice.

9:24

Everybody thinks it should be.

Speaker 3 9:25

Nobody's going to be listening to this, yet here we are, right, right, and I guess who likes the sound of their voice.

Speaker 2 9:29

Everybody thinks it should be this or that.

Speaker 3 9:30

But yeah, you know, it's just like pushing past all those insecurities and fears and just releasing what's on the inside of me, not knowing or caring who or what, you know where it would come of it, what would come of it or who would listen to it, but just knowing that God placed this on the inside of me and again going back to being an encourager because it's placed on the inside of me, it's not just for me. It's for me to share.

9:55

Right.

Speaker 3 9:56

So let me release it Once I've done that.

9:58

I've done my part, and that's kind of how the mentality I guess I've had, at least as it relates to me singing by myself. So let's go to what made you decide you wanted to be a lawyer? I mean because we all grew up watching the Cosby show there was.

Speaker 3 10:19

Claire Huxtable. She was the lawyer and Cliff was the doctor and everybody was like I'm going to be a lawyer, I'm going to be a doctor, what? And everybody was like, oh, I'll be a lawyer, I'm gonna be a doctor, right what made you say I want to be a lawyer? Well, I started off saying I want to be a doctor. Okay, I was pre-med going into college wow all the science classes and biology and chemistry and organic chemistry and advanced bio in high school just burned me out Like none of that came easy to me, like I would just struggle and I barely get like a, b, minus or C or something like that.

Speaker 3 10:51

So I knew I needed to shift and I think one summer I took a summer college prep thing and they had like one class about the law or whatever, where we kind of practiced a case or whatever and. I guess it was interesting and to me I just kind of broke it down. Well, I like to read, I like to write. I can probably argue they make good money let me just be a lawyer.

11:16

It's just very practical and I don't want to be a teacher, and a lawyer is not a teacher.

Speaker 3 11:24

And the way I kind of spend it well, if I don't go all the way through law school. My major is history, so if I need to absolutely need a backup, I can be a teacher, but I do not want to.

11:36

Got, you Got you. Okay Now. Did you face any challenges along the way in becoming a lawyer, or even early in your law career?

Speaker 3 11:47

Yeah, no, I mean it's tough. Law school was very difficult. The first year especially was difficult, just because literally I started maybe like a couple of days before September 11th and I was in DC at Howard a couple of days before September 11th and I was in DC at Howard. So it was just you know one, just being in a. I mean I was in a different state for college but I was close by. I was in Illinois, I'm from Wisconsin but, this was.

Speaker 3 12:13

I was all the way in DC. I didn't have a place to live at first, so literally I was like sleeping with another Howard student, not like sleeping with, but, you know, like at her dorm I was like basically on a pallet on the floor with my bag and everything. Oh, wow Like it was just crazy. So that was very difficult, just because it was September 11th and all the stuff. Like we had the sniper that year. It was just all kinds of stuff happening in DC.

Speaker 3 12:44

I remember I was walking to class in a squiggly line because they told you not to walk in a straight line.

12:49

Oh my gosh, Because then they would have an easy target.

Speaker 3 12:51

So it was just like what is going on? Wow, just lots of stuff. I remember my grandmother passed away that first year. So that first year was really difficult, just adjusting to so many things and not really having any money. I remember Chipotle was like the best, like I felt like we were going, like I mean like the fine diners, like we went there at the end of the semester to celebrate the semester. It was not like a thing of regular. Like I was eating chicken patties, like for Thanksgiving, like I was.

Speaker 3 13:28

It was a it was a very tight time, but once I got past that first year, everything else was much easier, I think. And you know, and the schooling was difficult, but I feel like I had already been prepared because I knew how to study well and I feel like people who go into law school if you know how to study well, you know how to organize, make outlines and like study large amounts of material and like sit down and hunker down Then you know you'll do well.

Speaker 3 13:58

So yeah, it was. It was good in the end and, like I mean, I graduated top of my class, which was a surprise to me. I literally found out maybe seconds before we were graduating are you? Serious. I feel like somebody just forgot to tell me and they were just like oh, you stand here in the front and I'm like why am I standing? In the front because you're the valedict now. So that was like a shock and um. Studying for the bar exam, california bar, was hard um again, another struggle.

Speaker 3 14:32

I remember that summer I was studying for it in dc and that was my first summer um living in dc, because usually I would go to other places okay and it was just really hot. That was when the cicadas like first came out. I feel like it was just all kinds of stuff. My freezer, I went to Costco to buy all this frozen food to eat for the rest of the summer. Then the freezer busted in my place.

Speaker 3 14:57

Oh my gosh Like Freon came out or whatever what, I threw that stuff away. It was that stuff away. It was crazy. It was like all these little bugs crawling around the way and I hate and literally I'm studying like eight hours a day, like going to class for four hours a day just very structured. You know one hour of television a day. I allotted myself one half hour to work out like it was a very structured existence, but I knew I had to treat it like a job and be purposeful because I didn't want to take it again gotcha, it was too much trouble and I didn't have to thank you

15:33

well, that's a blessing because not everybody passes the first time right, so especially California Bar.

Speaker 3 15:39

It's a three-day exam, eight hours a day basically. Oh my gosh, it was very just the whole formatting and everything was difficult.

15:48

Wow, yeah, but you did it.

Speaker 3 15:50

Yes, I passed.

15:52

That's listen that's a story of discipline and perseverance. Yes, yeah.

Speaker 3 15:59

And I actually wrote a book after I passed it that I need to. I've been updating now because I need to release that Okay.

Speaker 3 16:06

Okay, but again, after I go through something that was difficult, I looked and I was thinking like there's no devotional that speaks to me studying for this test, because it was literally like a two month period of time where you're studying. Okay, two and a half months and I had had different devotionals, but it wasn't like speaking directly to me. So I had a friend Michelle that was going to be taking it the next year.

The Journey to Law School

Speaker 3 16:30

I basically wrote the book of her and mine to kind of encourage her and I was able to give her the book when she was studying, so wow, that's amazing yeah, it was good, but I need to release it out.

16:43

Yes, you do, because the people need these things.

Speaker 3 16:46

So I'm trying to like work it now to make it not just limited to the bar exam, but just life's tests. Okay, people who are preparing for you know different moves in their lives or other tests. It could be MCAT or, you know, gre or whatever, anything that for a concentrated period of time, you're like hunkering down this devotional will help encourage you during that period.

17:10

Okay, since we're talking about devotionals and we're talking about books and we're talking about all the things we might as well go ahead and talk about your book. Help Me Welcome the Storm For the people who don't know about it Help Me Welcome the Storm by Kelly Proctor. Tell the people in your words what this book is about. I will say it is a very easy read but, I, want you to tell the people about the book.

Speaker 3 17:40

Yeah, no, I feel like the title, I think may throw some people off because it's just like why am I feel like the title? I think may throw some people off because it's just like why am I supposed to welcome a storm?

17:50

That don't sound like what I'm supposed to be doing that don't sound like good confession or whatever.

Speaker 3 17:56

But the thing is, storms gonna come. They are. You cannot avoid them. Jesus was in many storms, so if he gonna have to go through some storms, we gonna have to go through some stores. We gonna have to go through some stores.

18:06

So if we accept that, fact we don't like to talk about that. Right, we don't like to talk about that, right. Right, we don't like to think that way, right.

Speaker 2 18:13

Carry on. I'm sorry, I just needed to. No, no.

Speaker 3 18:15

Because I know the people like but I don sometimes side-eyed my books and they need to be picking it up because I'm trying to help you go through something that you are inevitably going to have to go through You're going to have to go through certain storms in your life, whether they be financial, whether they be career, whether they be relational. You know just all in your life you're going to have multiple different storms.

Speaker 3 18:40

So, if you have the appropriate posture to the storm and you are prepared for it, you're not going to get washed away with the intent of maybe what that storm's trying to actually do to you and I will say from reading the book I like that you start off just asking questions, you don't shy away from it.

19:04

It's not just, yes, you share your story and you weave in the word of God with your story and how you walked through it, but you also stop and ask the reader questions and you provoke us to thought, to really not just read it but ponder on it, yeah, and really take an assessment of where we are. Yes, in our different situations.

Speaker 3 19:33

Yes.

19:33

So that as we continue to read and you give us your life's journey and you give us the word, then it's like, oh, all right. Well, I guess she has a point.

Speaker 3 19:49

Yes, I try to do that just because I love to read, and the best books that I've read do that in some way. I remember going back to law school. That was when Purpose Driven Life book was all out. And I remember the first line of that book is it's not all about you. And I remember that a friend of mine got so turned off by that she never finished reading the book at that point.

Speaker 3 20:12

Oh my gosh, she couldn't get past that first sentence and, wow, my first sentence in this book, in terms of the first chapter, is what do you want? And I feel like that really gets to the core of, like you know even, why are you even reading this book? Like, what do you want? And I feel like that really gets to the core of, like you know even, why are you even reading this book? Like, what do you want in your life?

Speaker 3 20:28

Like what do you want to happen? What is that desire, what's that passion inside of you? And because the storms in your life are going to come to try to distract you from that, to deter or take away from that. But if you hold on to the what's core as to what you want, what you want to see happen in your life, you can overcome all of those storms.

20:49

Yes, yes, and I like that you don't just stop there, but the last chapter before you get into kind of like a daily devotional, the last chapter you're like, but there's more. The last chapter you're like, but there's more.

Speaker 2 21:10

Yeah, it's like now, we, we have to wait.

21:11

I don't I don't want to misquote it, it is, uh, it says it's it. Literally, the chapter says um, uh, shining your light, embracing the big? Yeah, that's that's. And so you? So you're encouraging us to? Okay, yes, you've made it through this storm and this storm, but that's not the only storm that you're going to have in life, right? So now, what is the next thing that you are believing for? And believe a little bigger.

Speaker 2 21:40

Right, yes.

21:42

Tell us about that, how you've been able to believe a little bigger yeah, no, I grew up very quiet, insecure, um child.

Speaker 3 21:55

Just like you know, when I was very little, people didn't think I spoke like my mother. They would ask my mother, does she talk like? Just very introverted, very, you know, shy, wore glasses from the age of five you know all of that kind of just shaped you into.

Speaker 3 22:16

You know like that's out in the public, like I said at home I was writing songs and doing all this right, right, right, I was by myself doing that, but out in the world I was, you know, I don't know, everything was scary or whatnot, and I started to kind of grow out of that when I realized that that was going to be a deficit for me. Because, my mother would say you do all this great stuff here, but I'm the only one that sees it. No one else is seeing you basically shine your light and I had to get comfortable with shining my light to the world and offering who I am to the world and not discounting it or feeling like it's nothing or feeling like it's not important.

Speaker 3 22:56

So, once I got into that mind frame of shining my light, I had to think bigger than myself. I had to get out of my inclination to just want to be self-focused and quiet in a corner by myself, and I had to start allowing the Lord to stretch me and then start as he started stretching me.

Speaker 3 23:16

everything would get bigger yes it's like no, just write a book for yourself. No, write a book and release it. No, write multiple books. No, write a song, write an album too. Right, right, it's just like you know, well beyond what I had thought.

Speaker 3 23:32

But I always had goals. I remember when I was actually studying for the bar exam, one day, for some reason probably just because I didn't feel like studying anymore I remember I was watching the tony awards, okay, um, and I don't know. Just for some reason, it was just like I want to be in a broadway play one day. I made a whole list of just like random stuff that I want to do, because I guess I realized you know, this is one of the toughest things you are going through right now.

Speaker 2 24:00

And if you can, get through this.

Welcoming the Storm

Speaker 3 24:01

There's really no limits for you Like. Why are you putting limits on yourself? Like write it out, write the vision. So I literally wrote like 10, 20 things of just random stuff that I wanted to do and a lot of these things like with the book and the music like that. Those were those things were on that list and whatnot. So okay, I need to turn back to that list, because I still I have not been in a Broadway play, so if anybody's watching right listen, watching listening I could be in Hamilton listen because let me tell you something, the companion album you talked about, shine your Light Isn't there a song on there?

Speaker 3 24:38

called Shine your Light.

24:39

I really like that song because it's really joyful and it's really I was like you know what this could be like a song.

Speaker 3 24:47

It's poppy yeah.

24:49

And I feel like it's a song you can listen to every morning, just to get your day started.

Speaker 3 24:53

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

24:54

Like tell the people some of the words, yeah.

Speaker 3 24:57

So Okay, well, now you.

25:02

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. You can just speak the words. You don't have to sing it.

Speaker 3 25:13

I'm sorry, you can just speak the words, you don't have to sing it. I feel like I can't remember unless I sing it, but basically the premise, the premise of the song is yes, we all have a light that's on the inside of us, but if we hide it, we keep it hidden and we don't allow it to illuminate other people's dark realities.

Speaker 3 25:31

everyone will stay in the dark, you know, and I made like a companion lyric video to it, and that was kind of the theme of it, where it was like everything's kind of gray and black and white until somebody started shining their light in that environment. And then the color came. So you know, I feel like that's especially our purpose in the times that we're living now.

Speaker 3 25:52

I believe that only dark darkness is only going to get darker, it's not going to get any different. The difference is us bringing light to the dark situation. Um, so that's, I feel, like my goal. I feel like every person is born in the time that they're in for a specific purpose, and God knew that I was going to be born during these times, right now. And he knew that I would be able to shine my light, you know, even in the midst of chaos and darkness all around me.

26:22

Today's episode is brought to you by Destiny Film and Media. Go to destinyfam1.com for all your media needs. Destiny Film and Media your destiny through film and media. So speaking of shining your light in the midst of chaos and darkness, so you mentioned how you were in law school during the during 9-11. And then we also lived through a global pandemic.

Speaker 3 26:54

Yes, yes.

26:55

How did you? Talked a little bit about how the 9-11 situation impacted your life, but how did the COVID-19 pandemic? How did that shift you, or did it shift you? How did it shift your life and what came out of it?

Speaker 2 27:16

I know the answer, but some of the answers, but you know share with the people.

27:20

Yeah, how how that shifted your life well really.

Speaker 3 27:23

This is how that book came out.

Speaker 2 27:25

I mean.

Speaker 3 27:25

I feel like the pandemic placed an urgency on my life to actually pursue some of the things that I wrote on those that list back when I was studying for the bar, like these wild dreams that I had because you see so much death around you. You realize that you know life is. You know we're only a vapor, we're all. You know all those, all the scriptures that talk about it. We're a leaf of grass. You know whatever. You know time.

Speaker 3 27:50

Time is not, you know, infinite here on this earth, in this form and the bodies that we're living in um, but it just placed an urgency on me to to release what was on the inside of me and it gave me the time and space, um, because you're hunkered down in your home, and yeah, that's how the book was actually birthed, because really I had wrote the songs years before.

28:12

Okay.

Speaker 3 28:13

But I sat on them, didn't really do anything with them, and then as I realized, okay, I need to really release these songs. And again that became bigger than what it was. It was supposed to just be one guitar player and myself ended up being a whole band and you know, just with a great producer and all you know all the stuff.

Speaker 3 28:33

Um and then, as I was working with that, I was just like I have, I need to get this book out too. And I literally just started writing the book after I had already had all the songs basically, and the book chapters basically mirror a lot of the songs on the album. That's why it's kind of a companion piece, because, as you meditate on the album, that's why it's kind of a companion piece Okay. Because, as you meditate on the songs, there's a whole chapter really to address those things Like one of my songs is I Will Not Fear.

Speaker 3 29:01

There's a specific chapter related to fear and whatnot, so they go hand in hand to help again, encourage um, in whatever issues that they may be going through wow.

29:14

So really, um, the, the, the you were, you were, essentially, you had a sense of urgency during the pandemic and that's what birthed the book, which also pushed you to put out the music that was already there, right, and, to you know, refine it, because I remember, you know it's funny, you say this because I remember during the pandemic, you know our church was online and I remember a couple of times you getting on there with your guitar.

Speaker 3 29:43

Oh, yeah, and singing, and I was like I didn't even know she could play the guitar Like what A little bit.

29:53

I was like what is happening?

Speaker 3 29:55

she done learned all those skills in the pandemic, you know, but that was something that I did back, I want to say, in 2015, I started teaching myself the guitar and then eventually I started getting some lessons from a friend's daughter. Um, I could never really get the bar chords right because my fingers, I feel like I'm just too little, so I never progressed in the way that I wanted to, but I knew enough chords to make all 10 of them songs which I did, and those I mean the songs that you hear, you know, on the album.

Speaker 3 30:26

the core is those little chords that I started off with, the melodies are basically the same. You know we added a lot more into production and whatnot. But you know the core of each song. I can still feel it, I can hear it.

Speaker 2 30:40

And.

Speaker 3 30:40

I even went back to those old videos where I would basically tape myself playing the guitar to you know, remember the song? And I'm like, wow, I can hear the song in there, or whatever.

30:51

So it's really cool that is.

Speaker 3 30:53

But that was me embracing the big, because, yeah, it was much bigger than I anticipated, and I feel like, for the pandemic, for me, God brought out more again. It's me discovering who I am getting back to, who I am at the core.

31:10

Yes.

Speaker 3 31:11

And being comfortable with that, and I think that I took leaps and bounds in that time period, at least as it relates to myself and the books and the music.

Music, Ministry and Finding Purpose

31:20

Okay, Now, ever since I've known you, you've been. I met you as Pastor Kelly. Okay, I now know you as Kelly the friend but I met you as Pastor Kelly, and so how did that journey begin? Like where? Because you said you were always having Bible studies, encouraging people and doing all those things. How did you come into ministry?

Speaker 3 31:46

Yeah, I don't know. I never anticipated any of this, Really most of my whole life I never had any inclination to be like I want to be a minister, like no, you know, this is just me. You know, loving the Lord and you know, studying the word for myself, and all of that. In college I guess I was president of our gospel choir. Our gospel choir was very different in that we didn't just sing songs.

Speaker 3 32:14

We did do a lot of Bible studies every week. We did pray. I remember we prayed all night long one time outside. We did these retreats. We were like hardcore.

32:27

I know a couple people who were in the gospel choir with you. So yeah, all hardcore.

Speaker 3 32:33

Like we were just like we gonna be about it. We ain't gonna. You know, we holding each other accountable. I remember in college like I was like going to a club one day and one girl was like how, you going to that club and you in the gospel choir, it was just like like early, like back then. It just made you like really, like back then. It just made you like really like Rigid yeah, but it made you realize that people are always looking at you.

Speaker 3 32:55

Yes, so even though I never had necessarily a title for a number of years, I lived my life in a way that I know that people are watching me and looking to me to be their leader or whatever looking to me to be their leader or whatever, and I can't disappoint myself or other people because I don't know what they're struggling with or whatnot.

Speaker 3 33:17

So in terms of ministry, eventually, when I connected with Lifeline you know, I guess it just happened Like I didn't ask again, I didn't ask for any of this stuff I would, you know, like make my own kind of little Bible studies for myself, or different things like that.

Speaker 3 33:35

And then our apostle, Holy Spirit, must have told him to say, you know, like, oh, come teach a Bible study. It was weird because only at that time it was only like ministers and people teaching Bible studies, I feel, like at our church, you know. So it was like, oh, wow, you know, but I knew I was had it in me. So, you know, I agreed to do it and you know, it was a blessing and I remember the feeling that I felt when I taught that Bible study.

Speaker 3 34:03

Afterwards I felt so whole and complete, and so myself, wow that I felt like, even if I died that day, day that I did what the lord told me to do like wow, it was that major for you. Yeah, yeah, okay, and every time I really teach or speak, even after that, I feel that wholeness. Okay, I know I'm doing what god has called me to do yes like there's no question, and you know, I feel like I leave it all out there on the table and I can walk away and feel at peace, type of thing. Praise God.

34:38

So yeah it was.

Speaker 3 34:38

It was an awesome time just teaching the Bible study. And then our apostle then eventually asked me to be a minister. Ok, and I really didn't want to do it because I was unmarried. I just felt like I didn't want this title and I'm trying to get married Like I don't want to scare somebody away. You're like I'm already, you know, focused on the father. I really don't need nothing extra for them to be like oh, you do that too.

35:07

Oh, I got to live up to that too.

Speaker 3 35:09

And then I felt like, okay, people need to have a covering. I don't have no kind of covering, you know, in terms of like a husband. Yeah, yeah, I don't know, I really did not want to do this. And then, as what happens, holy Spirit deals with me privately.

35:25

Like he had just asked it.

Speaker 3 35:27

And then eventually time and Holy Spirit dealing with me. I was just like okay, I think I feel comfortable doing this. And it was great because ultimately my husband was attracted to me and my title and who I was Like it wasn't anything that I had to hide from him. He knew off the bat from the first time. You know this is who I am. I gave him all of my teachings so he could see oh was just like. If you want to date me, then this is who I am so there's no question you know.

36:04

As for me, in my house we serve the Lord.

Speaker 2 36:06

So if you don't serve the Lord, then don't even come over here, because I don't have time.

Speaker 3 36:11

Yeah, because by that point I'm in my mid-30s. I remember when I was young and insecure in my 20s. It would take time for you to kind of release to somebody you dating. I'm a Christian.

Speaker 2 36:23

I'm this.

Speaker 3 36:23

I'm that you like slowly roll some stuff out, right, you almost just throw it all out there, but at this point, when you're 35, I don't got time to waste Like. I ain't trying to fool with you, you ain't about to say stuff.

36:35

Yes, I agree, I agree, and God blessed you with somebody who was okay. Yeah, with who you are, and that actually was attractive to him.

Speaker 3 36:53

So I feel like sometimes people don't realize the ministry gospelesus is attractive to people, especially if they are missing that in their lives. Or, you know, even if they have it, they can, they want more of it. Or, you know, looking for equally yoked yes, like use that. As you know, people always want to say your superpower or whatever, but it is like he puts his super on our natural.

37:08

Yes, I love it, I love it, I love it. So we've talked a little bit about the book, we've talked about the album, we've talked about you as a lawyer, we've talked about the ministry, and let's talk about Kelly the Friend. Okay, kelly the Friend. You talked about how you are an encourager and how you have been encouraging your friend group and you all have encouraged each other along the way. How has that evolved over time?

Speaker 3 37:46

Yeah, I don't know. I feel like I'm a hard person to be a friend.

37:52

Really.

Speaker 3 37:54

No way who say that. I just feel like I have like my friends. I have, and you know, if anything happens, it happens, whatever. But I feel like it's almost like friends have come and gone through different seasons where you're really close with certain friends and then another season comes and they don't, whatever. But I feel like I'm a hard friend because I'm always trying to, like, hold friends accountable, yes and yes, you know, I mean, and I would expect the same thing, you know, whatever. But I just feel like that's why some of them have gone for a season.

38:29

Listen, because it's hard to maintain you know, Because everybody does not want to be pushed. Everybody does not want to, or hear the truth.

Speaker 3 38:45

Listen, everybody does not.

38:47

I'm the person. I want the truth, yeah, and that's why we get along Exactly.

Speaker 3 38:53

Because I can tell you the truth, you can, I want the truth and that's why we get along. Exactly because I can tell you the truth, you can tell me the truth we can, you know, provoke each other to righteousness, all those things.

38:59

I don't want anybody in my life that's not like that. But some people they are comfortable where they are and they're not trying to do anything different, and God bless them. But it doesn't. I just can't be. Not that we can't be friends, but we just can't hang out all the time because, I'm trying to go to the next and do the next, you know of like am I not doing all that's right?

Shining Your Light in Darkness

Speaker 3 39:30

and whatever, but I've accepted the fact that whoever's in my life in that season is for that season and for that purpose. And like if anything ever went down. I have, and I feel like it's just different when you get older. You don't necessarily like your friends, you're not necessarily talking to them every week. It's just like when something major happens, you have your people that you know that will be there.

39:55

And.

Speaker 3 39:56

I feel like that's kind of like where me and my friends are now.

39:59

Okay.

Speaker 3 40:01

I grew up an only child. I have a sister, but I grew up in a household as an only child and I feel like I have a lot of my mother's tendencies, when I would look back at her when I was younger, like why are you always by yourself and I'm very comfortable with myself, like I enjoy my own company? That's a blessing, because a lot of people are not.

40:26

Let's just pause and recognize that a lot of people are not comfortable with themselves and they are not uncomfortable with being by themselves or silence, and I used to be like that Literally I remember when I was in college.

Speaker 3 40:39

if something happened, I would call like five friends and tell them the same exact story, like I remember, my friends would appear to me on the phone one day. Girl, you gotta hear what happened, and then they'd hang up the phone. Girl, you gotta hear what happens, and then they'd hang up the phone girl, you gotta hear it.

Speaker 3 40:52

You know whatever. And, like you know, I would do my homework or go to sleep with the tv on or something because you need the noise and all that. And eventually that just kind of faded away and I think, being um single for a long period of time, eventually I just accepted like hey, you know it's a Friday night.

Speaker 3 41:10

Yes, you home alone, you're gonna have to learn how to enjoy yourself, right, like enjoy your own company yeah, you know and be comfortable going to the movies by yourself, be comfortable going to plays or to eat by yourself yes, and I just like it. So my tendency sometimes I feel like I revert into, I think inward, like you know I did as a child, being an introvert where I'm like you know if I have two options, one option is staying at home watching TV. The other option is going out with friends. You gonna stay at home, yeah.

41:44

The older I get, the more that becomes who I am too. And I am an extrovert for the most part. But sometimes but it's like the older I get the more I just really appreciate peace and quiet. Yes, yes, Like it's amazing, it is, it is it really is wonderful.

Speaker 3 42:01

I think that's what helped me like especially the last few years I was single before my husband came into my life was how comfortable I was with being single. My husband came into my life was how comfortable I was with being single. Yes, so when he came into my life, it was an interruption of what I was experiencing by myself, where I looked at him like what are you doing? Oh, this is a date Like okay, I didn't know what was going on.

Speaker 2 42:26

I guess that's what we're doing, okay.

Speaker 3 42:30

And that's why I was comfortable to give him my teachings and give him you know, whatever. Because it was just like, okay, if you're going to interrupt my life, you need to really be about it, because otherwise I'm cool.

42:42

Right, I'm cool by myself. Listen, be it me, myself and Jesus. Yes, okay, myself and Jesus.

Speaker 2 42:47

Yes, okay.

42:52

So I want to kind of bring it all together, okay, so when you, as you, you've talked about how you are an encourager. You've talked about how you've always been, just even from a small child, with a mic in your hand and doing all the things, and now you have birthed and written. Books and songs have been birthed and written, and you've released albums, and there's more to come. So what would you say to somebody who is at a place in life where they feel like they can't, or like they know that there's something that they should do, but they don't really know how to push themselves out of that place? What would you say to them?

Speaker 3 43:52

I would say you really need to build up your relationship with the Lord, because only through the Lord's leading was I able to push out the things. Because it came from him. These books came from him. These songs came from him. My confidence in myself came from him. My understanding of my purpose as an encourager came from him. You got to go to the source.

Speaker 2 44:15

Yes.

Speaker 3 44:16

And I feel like so many people are looking for things in their life and they're going to these things that are not the source, that know nothing about really at the core, who they are.

Speaker 2 44:26

Yeah.

Speaker 3 44:27

And people are living false, imposter type lives because they don't know who, at the core, they really are and, as a result, you, they're, they're unhappy they're miserable, they're depressed, they're sad, they feel like things, there's inadequacies in their lives and they haven't tapped into the, the creator, the one who made them to really understand, because only he knows exactly fully who we are. We're discovering just pieces. I don't even know the full extent.

Speaker 3 44:58

I see glimpses you know, and those glimpses make me want to lean in to Holy Spirit and to the Lord for more. But yeah, you have to have a relationship with the Lord. Yeah, you have to have a relationship with the Lord. And whatever those people in terms of their relationship with quote unquote religion or church or whatever, the core is a relationship with the Father, the.

45:23

Lord Jesus yes.

Speaker 3 45:25

And that's what's going to show them who they are, amen.

45:30

Amen. Well, before we wrap up, two things. This has been fun.

Speaker 3 45:34

I feel like I can talk to you for another hour, I know right.

45:41

I don't know if your husband want to keep taping this.

Speaker 3 45:43

Listen, he'll tape as long as he needs to.

45:44

So I always like to ask people uh, do they have any questions for me? So you have a question you would like to ask me. Yes, do they have any questions?

Speaker 3 45:53

for me. So do you have a question you would like to ask me? Yes, okay, why or no, no, no, what is your purpose? And how is this podcast facilitating that purpose?

Authenticity in Friendship and Self

46:01

Okay then, talking about me coming up with questions, okay, so I definitely will say that my purpose at the core is I am definitely an encourager and my name literally means life and light. And so when when I, ever since I can remember, I've always tried to bring joy and happiness and, you know, positivity to everybody that I'm around, I've always tried to make sure, make sure that people leave my presence feeling better oh, and I don't know that.

46:35

I and I and I. When I was a young child, I, it was just something that happened yeah, like I don't like sit out and I don't set out, like today I'm going to bring joy, but I mean I would say most of the time it you come in with a song and dance. It just happens, you know, and so I try to leave places better than when I showed up.

Speaker 2 46:58

I see that, thank you.

47:04

So, yeah, I would say I'm definitely an encourager and I try to bring light, and this podcast specifically the one, the podcast that I did not want to do that the Lord dropped my spirit in the middle of the pandemic 2020. And I told him I won't do this. Like it's enough people out here. It's like a million podcasters. Nobody needs to hear my voice, and I don't even like the sound of it, but I, from the first time I recorded the first episode, I understood why. It's why this is necessary.

Speaker 3 47:34

You felt whole and complete. Absolutely I did. That's the feeling that.

47:43

I feel like we're all striving for yes and when you said that I was sitting here like. That's how I felt the very first episode and ever since the every conversation that I've had, I I the the nuggets that come from them. It's literally people having a you know how. Sometimes I wish I could have been a fly on the wall and I feel like the podcast is people being flies on the wall that can hear the conversations that I naturally have with people and they can get the nuggets that I get out of conversations and they can take them and apply it to their lives and they can be more successful.

48:18

They can have a sort of roadmap to okay, maybe it won't always be easy, but there's ways for me to navigate around. Or you know, oh, they dropped a nugget of a tool. Okay, I need to really have discipline, I need to, you know, be able to persevere, and I need to go back to the creator.

Speaker 3 48:39

You know what I'm saying so.

48:40

I feel like that's how I am living out my purpose and encouraging others and bringing life and light. Thank you for that question.

Speaker 3 48:47

No absolutely.

48:48

That was a really good question. You can take that for your future projects and will and will.

Speaker 3 48:55

No, but I've been on the receiving end of your light. I never heard it described like that, but it's true, because I feel like and I don't know how this happened. Like we were friends, but I just remember a couple times I reached out to you in like a very personal way of like and it it was like we didn't even have to get into that many details, but you knew exactly what I needed.

Speaker 3 49:17

You encouraged me in that moment and you just really lifted me up and you've always done that. You've done that since then, thank you. You've been with me at worst times and you were still able to bring light to that situation. Remodeling oh my gosh, you're in our home, we are going over to remodel it and you, you, you left sprinkles of light where we did not hurt each other during the remodel process.

49:47

Hallelujah, now we have a beautiful home.

Speaker 3 49:49

Yes, you do yes.

49:53

Thank you for that. Thank you, yes, you do, you're out of the way.

Speaker 3 49:55

Yes.

Speaker 2 49:55

Well, thank you for that. Thank you, yes, thank you.

49:56

Before we leave, I once again want to share with everybody the book Help Me Welcome the Storm by Kelly Proctor. There is also a companion album. Please tell the people where they can find the book and the album.

Speaker 3 50:09

Sure, you can go on Amazon and type in Kelly Proctor or Help Me, welcome the Storm. You'll be able to get it there. The album is also now on Spotify, so you can just listen to it for free. It's on YouTube. So, yes, please, please, encourage yourself. More people have been turning to it, I feel like recently, with all of the other, you know, because, again, darkness is just going to get darker and we thought we were at a level of darkness during 2020 and the pandemic where the book was birthed. This is another level.

Speaker 3 50:39

So this book has shown me to be timeless in terms of the stress and struggle and strain that the earth is going through, and I've turned to it to help encourage myself even you, you know just recently yeah so it's a very timeless book for what? What we're living in right now.

51:00

I agree and, once again, it is an easy read. So listen, go, pick up your copy and listen to the music and be encouraged and I want to say thank you, thank you, thank you for joining me on the podcast today. This has been a very good and encouraging conversation, and I know that somebody has gotten something that they can take away that will help their life, so thank you again.

Speaker 3 51:27

You have to have me back.

51:28

Yes, listen.

Speaker 2 51:30

When you write this devotional, then we come on back and we keep talking.

51:34

Because, listen, we could talk for hours. Right, right but thank you all for listening and we will see you next time on Pressed Into Purpose. Today's episode is brought to you by Destiny Film and Media. Go to destinyfam1.com for all your media needs. Destiny Film and Media your destiny through film and media.