BONUS EPISODE: Kickin’ It Solo - Single Parents Don’t Need Saving, They Need Support.

In this very first solo bonus episode, I’m opening up about my experience navigating single parenthood — the exhaustion, the survival mode, the judgment, and the strength it took to keep going when life felt impossibly heavy.

This episode isn’t just for single parents. It’s also for the families, friends, partners, and support systems surrounding them. Because single parents don’t need saving — they need support. And the truth is, the village matters more than people realize.

I talk candidly about what it looked like to raise my child while healing, coparenting after abuse, carrying the mental load alone, and learning that asking for help is not weakness. I also share a message for anyone currently in the trenches of single parenthood: this season will not last forever.

If you’ve ever felt unseen, overwhelmed, judged, or like you were carrying everything on your own — this conversation is for you.

#singlemotherhood #narcissisticabuse  #familycourt  #spiritualabuse  #traumarecovery  #unholierpodcast #ToxicRelationships #singlemotherhood 

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2448874/episodes/19009657

https://www.buzzsprout.com/2448874/episodes/19048669

Transcript

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SPEAKER_00 0:16

Welcome back to the Unholier Podcast. I'm your host, Jenny Smith, and today I'm actually doing something I've never done before. I am coming to you just by myself. No guests today, just me. I'm doing my first solo episode. And if I'm being completely transparent, I'm a little nervous about it. It's a little weird just talking to the camera and not having any interaction back and forth, but I felt the need to come out of my comfort zone for a minute and do a solo episode. Um, by now you have heard my part one with David, which came out early last year, and part two and part three just aired. So I figured I would do a solo episode just kind of going a little bit deeper with my experience as a single mother, what that felt like, what that looked like, and just my message for those who are single parents who are going through the thick of it right now, or for anyone who knows a single parent that maybe you could share this episode with. And also I have a message for grandparents of children who are currently going through being single parents. So I hope you guys enjoy this episode. I am just talking to you raw and real and transparent with you today. And I want to say I appreciate all the support and all the encouragement y'all gave me in the last few episodes that I dropped. It's just been a very positive feedback that I've gotten. And I just want to say thank you and I love y'all for that. It was the tough road, but I wouldn't be who I am today without that experience. So I appreciate that. Okay, so let's get started. First, I want to let you guys know what it was like before I became a single mom. I was a youth pastor's wife. My dad was the pastor of the church that my ex-husband worked at. It was difficult living in that environment on the daily, but it was also difficult having to go to church multiple times a week, have youth activities, and play this part of a person that I didn't want to be anymore. I felt like a hypocrite and I hated that because there was absolutely no one I could talk to about what I was experiencing in my marital home and what I was going through. My whole friend group was church related. So, how could I, as a full-time youth pastor's wife and pastor's daughter, go to one of the church members and confide in them or get counseling from any one of them? And then that would just spread like wildfire. I couldn't do that. So it was a really, really hard time because I wasn't able to just be who I am. And if any of y'all know me personally, you know I do not like fake. And I feel like a big part of my life being in the church was me having to be somebody that I wasn't. And I struggled with that a lot. Now, do I mean I wasn't a Christian and I was faking being a Christian? No, that is not what I'm talking about. I am talking about the fact that I always had to put on a smile or an everything's great attitude when things were not great. I was living in hell and I had to act like I wasn't. That was the hard part. My beliefs about marriage, motherhood, and family at the time were solid. Even though I had an arranged marriage, my dad, you know, told me this is who I feel is God's will for your life. I did go into the marriage with the thought that I'm going to be the best wife that I possibly can be. And this is my life now. So I'm just gonna put my big girl, I can't even say big girl pants because I wasn't allowed to wear pants, my big girl skirt that reached down to my ankles on and say, I'm gonna make the best out of this. I tried. And as I've mentioned in other episodes, like the abuse started almost on day one. Like it started on the honeymoon. There were physical reasons why I was not able to consummate the marriage, um, which I go into in my part one. If y'all want to listen to that, then that is available on all podcast platforms and YouTube. You can go listen to that one. I believe it's titled Public Shaming, something like that. I'll have to look it up. Anyways, that was really tough for me because I was getting the questioning from my husband at the time, like, what is wrong with you? You must have done something wrong. And I was a virgin. I hadn't even kissed a boy until my college sweetheart at 19 years old. So there was nothing wrong with me. It was my body rejecting him. And um, I'm not gonna go into like much detail about it now because, like I said, you guys can listen to that episode. But my beliefs about marriage were solid. My parents had been married for several decades at that time, and divorce wasn't even like a thing in my family. I had and one uncle on my dad's side and an uncle on my mom's side that had divorced, but other than that, everyone had solid marriages. I didn't ever think that I would be a divorcee ever. The day that I found out that I was pregnant with my daughter, I was actually trying to figure out a way I could leave him. The abuse was getting worse. And it was at the point where he would call me at work at my job and tell me that God had given him a message in his devotions that morning that was describing like an unclean woman and that I must have been unfaithful to him because we hadn't gotten pregnant that whole point into our marriage until about four and a half years into our marriage. And he was calling me at work and accusing me of infidelity. And so I had just had it at that point. I didn't know I was pregnant at the time. And I was trying to figure out a way I could leave. Well, I believe God knew that that was not the right time to leave because later on that day I found out that I was pregnant with our daughter. I looked at that as a sign from God that was like, you can't leave. I looked at it as a positive on one hand, but a negative on the other. I will explain that. A positive because yes, I'm pregnant. I'm about to be a mother. I had wanted that for a very, very long time. And I felt like if I am going to remain in this marriage, in this loveless marriage, I at least would like a child because I would then be able to love that child and feel like something positive has happened within this terrible situation. Never thinking that the abuse would continue or even worsen. I just thought this is maybe a way to take the negative attention off of me. I felt like if I could have a child, then the attention would then be on the child and we could focus on the child. So I ended up having her. And as I've mentioned in previous episodes, he started then grooming her and using her as a weapon and brainwashing her and manipulating her. I didn't want her to experience that in our home and see that it was okay for her dad to treat her mother that way. I didn't want my daughter to see that and have that as an example in marriage. Life was really hard while I was married to him. And it got to the point where I didn't care about the material things anymore. I didn't even care if I was homeless like at that point. I left the marital home with my daughter and didn't bring much with us. And I felt like our safety was more important than any of the things that we I we that him and I had acquired over the years. The moment that I felt like things weren't safe anymore was the moment that he had claimed he was casting demons out of the house. I thought he's lost his mind. And when people lose their mind, their actions are unpredictable. And I felt like that was the moment that I felt God was telling me, you need to leave now. Get out right now. And so my friend Branda, who was living with us at the time, her and I took my daughter and we left at 2 a.m. and went straight to my parents' house. The fears that kept me in this situation for five plus years were shame and guilt that I was feeling from the church, from my upbringing, from those ideologies that I was given. And ultimately, what broke that thought pattern was I had been praying to God that He would give me an obvious open door to leave. And I had been praying for about six months that prayer. And when it finally became obvious, I took advantage of that. And I felt like at that point, it didn't matter what happened or what people thought of me because I knew that I was doing the right thing. I knew that I was protecting myself and my daughter. And that's when we left. When I left, it was 2006, 2007, right in the middle of the recession or as the recession had started happening. It was a scary time. At that point, I no longer had my corporate job. So I was a stay-at-home mother. I didn't have but a few hundred dollars in the bank that him and I shared. So that had to be split in half. I had no idea long term where I was gonna go. I was staying with my parents in the short term. And then Brand and I ended up getting an apartment together. And I was luckily able to find a job pretty shortly after I left. I worked at that place for about six months. And as many of you experienced during the recession, you experienced job loss, which was a very common thing at that time. I was let go from that position about six months in. The same day that I was let go was the same day I found out that my dad was diagnosed with cancer. I remember calling my ex and asking him if he could pick our daughter up from daycare that day because I got let go from my job and my dad was diagnosed with cancer that same day. And his response was, What did you think was going to happen? And what that means is, of course, this is happening to you and your family because you are outside of God's will because you left me. That's what that means. I knew that life would be hard, but I felt like it didn't matter how hard life was after I left him because I knew whatever it was, it would be better than what I was living in. Yes, it was a struggle. Yes, financially, it was felt like an impossible situation. I there were times where I felt like I would never come out on the other side. There were times where I felt like I was being punished by God. Did I make the right decision to leave? Was I supposed to just stay and be miserable for the rest of my life because I made a quote unquote vow to God. And I believe that was something I struggled with because of the way I was raised and those ideologies that were handed to me throughout my life. One good thing that I experienced when I left was I was finding my independence, which was amazing because I, as a woman in the independent fundamental Baptist church, you feel like you're nothing. You are basically told that you are less than and men are above you. And so once I got out of the marriage and I started working and getting earning my own money and finding that independence and that confidence, and then finding my footings as a mother, I felt really great. I think what I grieved most after that chapter of my life ended, the chapter of the church and leaving, because I not only left my marriage, I left the church at the same time, which I talk about in one of my previous episodes. The thing that I grieved the most was I think my belief system. I thought that a lot of the people that were at my dad's church and within that bubble of Christianity would support me more and reach out and encourage me. And I didn't get that. So I had to grieve those relationships and those connections because they were fake. I think one of the hardest parts about my experience in single motherhood was having to subject my daughter to weekly time with my ex-husband. He was my abuser. He was somebody that I felt wasn't safe for me and therefore not safe for my daughter, but there was nothing I could do about it. And so it was a really, really hard thing every weekend to have to hand her over to him and then pray and hope to God that the things that he was teaching her or the things she was experiencing weren't going to harm her in any way. And there were many sleepless nights because as a mother, I felt completely helpless because the court system wasn't protecting my daughter. A normal day as a single mother during that time, angst, worry, but also hustle and determination. I was fighting so hard for my daughter that there were times I had blinders on to other things that maybe were going on around me. I definitely didn't get any support from my ex-in-laws. In fact, after the divorce, actually before the divorce, it was once he was fired from my dad's church, there was zero communication from the other side of the family. I didn't get support for my daughter. There were a lot of times where throughout her life that they were absent. The most recent being when she had her high school graduation, no one from her dad's side of the family came to her graduation. They lived three hours away. This was a very important day for her. Now, granted, would I have wanted to see them there? No, but it wasn't my day. It was my daughter's day. And that's just the kind of people that they are. And they've always treated my daughter like she was not as important as their other grandchildren. My daughter has expressed this to me on multiple occasions throughout her childhood and her teenage years. And it's been very, very hurtful. I know people who raise their kids together who are divorced that are non-Christian couples and they have no problem doing it. I have people who are non-Christian families that still communicate with the mother of the child, even though they're the ex-in-laws. They do that for the child. And these people are supposedly Christian and they're in full-time ministry and they have made zero effort. At one point during the court process and all the CPS stuff that we were going through about my ex, I actually called my ex-father-in-law. And of course, he didn't answer the phone. So I left a voicemail and I urged him to call me back. And I told him that this is a very urgent matter, that all things put aside, we all need to come together for the safety and protection of their grandchild. And I never received a phone call back from him. That spoke volumes. Okay, so enough about them. One of the things that was most shocking about navigating the family court system was that they always say that anything that's to be done within the court proceedings has to be done with the child's best interest in mind. That there is nothing that could be further from the truth. I do not believe that is how they operate. Maybe in some counties they do, but in the county that our case was in, it was so far from the truth that it was a joke. All it was just a means for people to continue an unhealthy cycle, to fight over a child, to continue abuse, to shell out a ton of money, and the outcomes were nine times out of ten, not in the best interest of the child. If you've never dealt with court, you don't understand what I'm talking about. I know a lot of people think that when you go to court, if it's like the person that is telling the truth should get custody, or if the court says you're telling the truth, it's a done deal. That's not how it works. It's a very difficult and grueling process and expensive process. And just about anyone could have rights to their child. So the system failed to protect me and my child because they knew I had a restraining order on my ex, but then there were times where we were forced to be in the same room with each other, and that restraining order wasn't honored. It was legit just a piece of paper that held no weight whatsoever. I think a common misconception is if a person goes to court and they bring evidence, the evidence isn't always able to be used in court. For instance, the CPS allegations, we had two cases from CPS on allegations against my ex. And because CPS didn't do their job, then that was not to be used in court. So co-parenting with somebody like that was very difficult because it's like I said before, it's really, really difficult to give your child up to somebody that you feel isn't one trustworthy, but also not safe for her. And when I started seeing these changes in my daughter, the way he was dressing her, the way she was acting, the way she was acting out and reacting, it was like I was losing my daughter. And there were times where I felt like a failure as a mother, because I'm I'm like, I'm doing everything I could possibly do to save her from him taking her down this path, and I could not do it. And that was a really hard thing for me because I had to accept the fact that I was doing as much as I possibly humanly could for my daughter, but it still wasn't enough at the time. And I had to surrender that and can say, I did everything I could do, but it's gonna shake out in the end when she's older, and we'll just have to see how it plays out. I've talked before about how I didn't get support or encouragement from the church members, and that hurt really bad. And I feel like it went even further because there were rumors that would get back to me. I know my ex was spreading rumors, and there were people that grew up in my dad's church or that I respected that you people that had been there for a long period of time that had seen me grow up as a kid and into my adult years that were having him over to their house or meeting him for coffee or whatever. And I felt very betrayed by that because of everything that I had gone through, and just because I was out. Of church, they automatically just assumed that I was the bad one. I was the villain. So I definitely felt betrayal. I felt a lot of sadness and definitely felt helpless. I think when you're going through that season, and I know just from my own experience, when I was going through that season in my life, I felt like it was never going to end. I remember feeling like this is my 18-year prison sentence. And I say that because I was forced by the court system to co-parent with my abuser and to allow my daughter to have a relationship with him. And for 18 years, I had to deal with that because remember, I left when she was six months. So the divorce took about a year and a half to finalize. And it just was non-stop hell. Nonstop, even to the point where something as simple as a pickup, where it's my day to pick her up from him. It was usually on a Sunday afternoon. And we would have a time and a place where I was going to be picking her up. And then when that time came, he wouldn't be there. Or he would ghost me for hours and send me on a wild goose chase all over town to try and figure out where he was with my daughter. And most Sundays were spent like that. Just something as simple as a pickup. Him trying to play these manipulative games just to spite me, just to hurt me. And I just felt like I would never come out of it. It was a very, very hard and difficult and dark time in my life. I understand now that the court system offers a program where you are communicating to the other parent on an app rather than directly on your phones. I think that is a wonderful tool because the court can look at how each of you are communicating in regards to your child or your children. I didn't have that then. The court system has changed throughout the years. Obviously, in different states, there are different laws. And my experience from the state of Michigan. So I had friends that grew up in divorced homes and they would tell me, Oh, yeah, I was able to pick the parent I wanted to live with when I was 12 or 13 years old. The judge pulled me aside and asked me which parent I wanted to live with. And the prospect of that was very exciting to me because I thought, okay, this would be a good thing to happen because I definitely wanted to get her away from her dad. However, a few years prior to my divorce, the laws changed in the state of Michigan. And they changed to the point where the child has to be 18 of legal age to then decide who they want to live with or what they want to do. So there was no opportunity for her to talk to the judge at 12 or 13 to make her decision. So after the divorce, I did start feeling like, okay, that chapter is behind me because the divorce proceeding and going through family court is absolutely difficult. Is it hell on earth? And once that was over, I did feel like I could start to kind of move on, breathe again. But like I said, he didn't let up on the manipulation and the abuse and using my daughter as a weapon against me. So that was very difficult to navigate by myself. I was finally an independent woman that was not only finding myself, but trying to find my footing as a mother and not having the support that I need. There were very positive things that I discovered about myself during that time. I've talked about this before, but just like experiencing a lot of first things that I wasn't allowed to do when I was in the church and finding out what I actually enjoyed in life. I mentioned before I started going to a dance class and finding community in the world versus in the church. That was very refreshing for me because you're kind of taught like the world is evil. And so you kind of have this misconception of people who aren't Christian and you think that they're all evil. But actually, I've I met some really amazing people and still have friends to this day that I met during that period of my life who were extremely supportive and extremely encouraging and helped me through that absolute mess that I was going through. Where I was able to find out the things that I enjoyed for the first time in my life and figure life out for myself. Those were things that actually showed me and gave me more, that gave me more confidence in myself. And I felt like I could face things that I never could face before because I was able to gain that independence and that experience through the things that I went through. Even though I was gaining independence and confidence and learning more and more about myself every day, I still felt like I was failing as a mother because I couldn't do what I ultimately wanted to do, which was get full custody. And that wasn't my fault. That was just how the court system is set up. It's hard for me to explain and put into words what that felt like because I had never felt those feelings of complete and total helplessness before. Because it's like when it's happening to you as an individual and then it's happening to your child, it just doesn't compare because a child can not protect themselves. They have to be protected by some by somebody, a parent or somebody that's more experienced. And so it was really, really frustrating. So for anyone who is a parent or a friend of somebody who is a single mom or a single dad who is really struggling with co-parenting with the other parent or just struggling with the child, I think that if you are able to give them encouragement, give them support and don't just say, like, let me know what I can do for you or I'm here for you. Actually do something, you know, just even like, hey, can I help you pick up your child this week from school if they work full-time and it's hard for them to leave work and go pick up their kid? Hey, could I take your kid to their sports practice this week? Could I take you out for dinner? You and your child, let's do something fun together with your kid, or hey, can I babysit? That's a big one. If you could babysit for them, that would really help because maybe that would give the single parent an opportunity to have a night off, go out with their friends, or even just go to a bookstore and read and have a cup of coffee, to go to the gym, or to go get a massage, or to go for a bike ride, whatever the case may be. These are things that you should just be doing for your family member or your friend. Don't just say, let me know if there's something I can do for you, or if you need anything, or I'm here for you. Actually do it. What should friends or family not say to a single parent? One thing they shouldn't say is ask some questions about what is going on. I think that some people may want to keep it private. If the single parent comes to you with information, I think just to listen to them and don't offer your opinion unless it's asked for it. Because if you've never been a single parent before, you really can't, you really can't give advice because it's different than just being a parent in a two-person household. It's a lot different. So once I had become more independent and I had gotten a job, I got let go from my first job, then I got another job. Unfortunately, again, it was during the recession. Gas was like four dollars and fifty cents a gallon. I was working an hour and a half from where I was living. That was also a very difficult time, but I started making a lot more money at that other place. And so I felt like I was getting more of a footing. And my daughter and I had a had a place to stay, and things were going better. One of the problems that I ran into was the relationships that I was getting into. So when I got out, I did start dating people. I got out into the dating scene. The first serious relationship I got into after my divorce was also very toxic and very abusive, in many ways, more physically abusive than what I had gotten into in my first marriage or what I had experienced in my first marriage. The thing that made that one tough was he was also extremely manipulative, but he was a lot smarter than my ex. And he didn't grow up in church. He had more street smarts. And so I was easy to manipulate because I was so naive in my knowledge of life, of the world, of how society is, and he knew that and took advantage of that. It was tough because I was back into another abusive relationship, and I had put myself into therapy at that point. And going through therapy, I can tell you that was like the number one thing I recommend is therapy. And I will say therapy is not a one size fits all. You cannot go to a therapist, and nine times out of ten, your first therapist is probably not gonna dive with you. You need to continually interview and experience various therapists until you find the one that you should be with. And I say that is a very important thing because it is a relationship because you are telling this person everything about you. And so you need to be able to have a therapist that vibes with you and you feel you can actually get something out of the therapy sessions. When I was going through this serious relationship after my divorce, and it was, again, very abusive, it was recommended by my therapist that I take it a step further and go to a hypnotherapist because I was finding that I was falling into a pattern of going into abusive relationships. And I couldn't understand why, because my very first relationship that I ever had with the guy that I was dating in college was not abusive at all. He, like I've mentioned before, he was the complete opposite of my ex-husband and personality and otherwise. So I couldn't understand why going from an abusive marriage and then going into a serious relationship with another abusive person was happening. It was, I felt like it was a cycle and I didn't want to continue that. So my therapist recommended hypnotherapy. I went to three or four sessions with the hypnotherapist, and that was able to break me out of that cycle. Growing up the way that I grew up, of course, as a woman, you have thoughts of unworthiness and shame and guilt from just even the dumbest things like a girl wearing pants and being called a four, or my Sunday school teachers telling my best friends in the youth group that I was a bad influence on them because I was considered rebellious because I questioned authority. I questioned the reasons for some of the things that they were teaching, and they didn't like that. So they looked at me as a bad influence. Feelings of God doesn't love me unless you XYZ. And so that's where the the root of those feelings were coming from for me. The thoughts of unworthiness, shame, and guilt were coming from those ideologies. So I had to figure out a way to strip that from my identity and do that in a way that I felt would actually help me break that cycle. And it did break that cycle. So after that breakup, I was able to heal from it. And I would date casually here and there after that. And then ultimately I got to a place where I really wasn't, I wasn't interested in it in having a serious relationship with anyone at that point. I just felt like, you know what, I'm okay if I'm a single mom for the rest of my life. Like I had to come to a point where I was confident in my own skin and in my own abilities to support myself and my daughter for the rest of my life. And this is when I really became strong. And that is when I met my current husband. And it's kind of funny because we met through mutual friends. And if he were sitting here with me now, we both were not ready for the relationship. I guess, I guess we were, but we would say that we weren't. I just wasn't interested in having a serious relationship with anyone at that point. But it just worked out that way. And we fell in love pretty early on in our relationship. And he saw my situation as something that he wanted to take on. And I have so much respect for him. He wasn't married before me. He had no children. And so for him to take on the task, because it is, to take that on, that role of stepfather and husband to somebody who has a child coming into the relationship is something that it's that is like a huge responsibility. And it takes a very special person who is able to take that on. And to not only take it on, but do it in such a way that not only protected me from my abuser because he took on almost all communication and any interaction, I didn't have to deal with alone. He was my shield and my protector and really my guide through it. And I couldn't have navigated those last, oh gosh, what was it? So I was a single mom for like six and a half years. Then I met him. So like for the next, gosh, how many is that? I gotta do my math. Wait, yeah, for the next 14 years, he was the he is that right? 14? No, 12 years, yes, because 18. Yeah. So for the next 12 years after that, he was there helping me get through that time in my life, that stage that we were in, and we did it together. And he just is amazing. I couldn't have done it without him. One thing that he and I struggled with after we got together was not having the support of his family. So now I was coming into a new family, and they absolutely did not support the fact that he was marrying somebody with a child. They didn't like the fact that I was a single mother. They felt that that was trashy and they didn't like that at all. And that was really hard on me and hard on him, and also hard on my daughter because she also felt not only different and ostracized from her dad's side of the family, but now like an outsider from my new husband's family. And to be clear, not only did they not accept her, they didn't accept me either. So for anyone who's listening who maybe has somebody coming into their family who has a child from a previous relationship, support that person, welcome them into your family as if they didn't have quote unquote baggage. Love them unconditionally, love the child. The child didn't choose any of that. Just because they are not biological to you, blood related to you, doesn't mean that they aren't worthy of just as much love as a biological grandchild. They shouldn't have to feel like they're different or that they don't belong. That's just wrong. And so the first Christmas came and there were a bunch of presents for our baby daughter and no presents for my daughter, who was seven or eight at this time. And when my husband approached his mother about it, she said, Well, she's not my grandchild. So why would I get her presents? That was appalling to both of us because yes, she is your grandchild by marriage. We are now married into your family. We are just as much family as anyone else here. And you're gonna make a seven or eight-year-old granddaughter of yours feel like she is less than and that she doesn't deserve Christmas presents. Anyone that does that, I just I have no words for you. I have no words for people like that. And so don't do that. If you have a family member that is joining your family that is a single parent and they're bringing a child or children into your family, don't treat them like that. Looking back, if I had to really reflect and sit and think about what I would tell my younger self, I would tell my younger self that it's gonna be okay, that God's got you. And that despite what people in the church are saying, despite what maybe people think of you, it doesn't matter. You are a good parent. You love your child unconditionally, and no one is gonna know that better than you are. Even if you feel like you can't do enough to protect your child and to give your child the best life possible now, someday you will look back and your child will thank you for everything that you did for them. And I am living in that moment right now. That chapter is finally over. And my daughter and I are closer than we've ever been. She calls me every day. She confides in me, calls me when she's having a bad moment. She calls me when she's having an exciting and good moment, and she wants to share her news with me. Her and I and our relationship is developing, it is still developing, it is blossoming into something beautiful. And I am so thankful for her and for that. And that doesn't mean that we didn't have rough patches. We did when she was in high school. I thought I was losing her all over again. There was a moment where we didn't talk. There was a period of time where we didn't even talk. She wouldn't, she wasn't even talking to me. And as goofy as it sounds, it was all over me taking her cell phone away from her. Those were tough times. If I had to give any advice for a single parent who is listening, it is don't quit, keep fighting for your child, keep going. And I know that right now it seems like the tough times are never gonna end, but I promise you they will. And in the meantime, develop yourself, go to therapy, read some self-help books, which was so helpful to me when I couldn't get into therapy sessions. I would go to Barnes and Noble and get a coffee and read self-help books. I couldn't even afford to buy the self-help books. I just sat there for hours and read them. And I felt like the information empowered me. And I just want you to know that you are not alone. If any single parent or family member of a single parent wants to reach out to me, I am here for you. I want to use my experience to help other people. And if it helps one person, then it's worth it. Because I think when you are given difficult circumstances in life, you are met with a responsibility to use that to help other people through similar circumstances. Lessons that you learned along the way should be shared with others to help them navigate. I didn't have that. And so I want to be that for other people. I hope that this episode wasn't too boring for you guys. It was really, really difficult for me to keep a conversation flowing when there's nobody on the other end. And so, to be honest with you, I have a lot of editing to do on this episode. But I hope you guys enjoyed this. Again, if anyone is going through it right now, reach out to me. I would love to talk to you and encourage you and support you. And if you are a person who is dating or married to someone who came out of a single parent situation, love that child as your own because the child will feel if you treat them any differently. The child deserves all the love in the world, just like anyone else. And they didn't choose that life for themselves. Yeah, that's all I gotta say. Thanks for listening. Before we close out, I just want to share a quick reminder. The stories told on this podcast are personal experiences and perspectives. They're shared to create awareness and connection, not as medical, legal, or mental health advice. Some of the conversations here focus on abuse, trauma, and other heavy topics. So please take care of yourself while listening. It's always okay to pause, skip an episode, or step away if you need to. And if anything we talked about brings something up to you, we encourage you to reach out to a trusted professional or a support resource. You don't have to carry any of this alone. Thank you for listening.