Good Neighbor Podcast: Cobb County
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Good Neighbor Podcast: Cobb County
E37: Building Better Bonds: Christina Neri's Approach to Couples Counseling
When was the last time someone taught you how to build a healthy relationship? For most of us, the answer is never. Christina Neri, founder of Maverick Marriage Therapy, joins the Good Neighbor Podcast to explain why relationship education is so critical and how her practice fills this crucial gap.
Christina dispels common misconceptions about couples therapy, emphasizing that most relationship struggles occur between two fundamentally good people who simply lack the necessary tools. "The truth is, more often than not, we've got two really good people who have histories of trauma," she explains. Unlike popular social media narratives that label challenging relationships as "toxic," Christina offers a more compassionate perspective, comparing many couples to two people in protective bubbles – desperately wanting connection but unable to break through their defensive barriers.
What sets Maverick Marriage Therapy apart is their innovative approach, including two-day intensive therapy sessions that accomplish what might otherwise take months. Christina describes how couples therapy differs from individual work, being more directive and hands-on. "People are genuinely coming in saying if I had the answer, I'd be doing it. Hold my hand, teach me the skills," she notes. Her team responds by providing concrete guidance and sometimes difficult truths delivered with compassion.
Christina's path to becoming a relationship specialist began with her own childhood experiences in a family with good intentions but limited relational skills. Rather than being defined by these challenges, she transformed them into a gift – developing profound empathy that allows her clients to feel truly seen and understood. Today, she leads a carefully selected team of therapists who embody the very relational qualities they teach, creating a practice where healing begins with the culture itself.
Curious about how relationship therapy could transform your connections? Visit maverickmarriagetherapy.com to learn more about their approach and meet their team of specialists dedicated to helping couples thrive.
This is the Good Neighbor Podcast, the place where local businesses and neighbors come together. Here's your host, Millie.
Speaker 2:M. Hello everybody, welcome to the Good Neighbor Podcast. I am Millie M. Are you in need of some great couples counseling? Well, some might be closer than you think. I have the privilege of introducing your good neighbor, christina Neary of Maverick Marriage Therapy. How are you doing, christina? I'm doing really really well, glad to be here. Awesome, we are so excited to hear all about you and your business. Tell us more about Maverick.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so we're a group private practice. We've got gosh 10 clinicians now and growing. I'm continuing to hire and we specialize in relationships. So we see couples. We see marital couples, right, premarital couples. We also see some parents work coming in. We see some family work. We tend to see some individuals struggling with relational concerns, like all everything to do with relationships, and we're expanding and continue to expand. We're going to probably have some child therapy as well and continue to expand. We're going to probably have some child therapy as well. And so, truly like, the bedrock of us is that we believe that relationships are just the most significant part of a human's life and that, truly like, we're underserved in this way. We're not taught how to do relationships well from a school perspective. Most parents struggle because, again, they weren't taught right, and so there's research out there and evidence-based strategies and simple tools that can make a huge difference.
Speaker 2:So all of our therapists are equipped to help with that and yeah, that's what we do, and if there's other things going on, it's usually reflected in a lot of your relationships in different ways.
Speaker 3:Exactly. Yes, that's right, like it's. We're holistic in that way, as human beings, right If there's a challenge in our relationship, it's going to affect our work, and if there's other challenges and patterns of behavior outside of the relationship, it's going to come in, whether we like it or not. It's just we're humans.
Speaker 2:Absolutely so. How did you get into this business? What made you go the marriage relationship route?
Speaker 3:So I would say, like many therapists answer like I think I was probably a therapist from age three. You know, I grew up my parents are good people, right, but who didn't have the skills and tools. My mom was an immigrant, my dad was a second or first generation, so you know, just didn't have the tools. I grew up around a lot of dysfunction and I was super interested what is going on? Why are these adults behaving this way?
Speaker 3:So from a very young age I was passionate and excited about learning about their dynamic and why, and specifically the couple's dynamic just really illuminated everything for me and so went on, obviously, to then study that, became really interested in how folks cope with their emotions in relationship, how people cope in relationship different, two different realities right, two different, very different realities could be true at the same time, which leads to a lot of misunderstanding. So just fascinated, honestly just fascinated. I'm so endlessly stimulated by relationships and then just got a ton of experience in different areas of the field and ultimately came back to this passion and open Maverick about two years ago.
Speaker 2:I love how you say good people, because I think sometimes in especially romantic relationships, when things aren't going well, there's a tendency to point fingers or blame. It's like two people can be good people at their core and just not know how to navigate this situation with another person.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I honestly think that's probably the case 90% of the time, probably 95 to 98, if I was really being honest, I work with folks who would be considered narcissistic. And there's trendy words and a lot that's happening right on TikTok and Instagram, right, and so it's like toxic relationships and we just need to run from them. And the truth is, more often than not, we've got two really good people who have histories of trauma right. Their limbic systems have stored a bunch of relational data. This is how we do it. They just don't know how to do it differently. But when I really sit with folks and I hear their hearts and their desire for commitment and intimacy, it's just about really helping them align with that part of themselves and then teaching them the skills. So, yes, yes, that's a huge part of the way that I operate.
Speaker 2:And I see now even in the dating world. I say it's almost like you know those big, that big bubble game where a person's in this big bubble and it's almost like you want to hug but we can't get to each other because we're both in these big bubbles of trying to protect ourselves from hurt, so that's so very important. So what are some of the myths or misconceptions about your industry or what you do in particular?
Speaker 3:Yeah. So one that feels really obvious to talk about is like your couples therapist will fix your relationship. I mean, I have people come in and they're like, come on, get at my partner.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 3:I know they're wrong, I know I can trust you, you know, and the truth is like that never happens, like the actual reality is the therapist has zero% power in their relational dynamic, right, and so it's really about empowering both of them to see that, um, look in the mirror, get accountable for what they need to be accountable about and then grow those skills. So that feels like a really obvious misconception. It's just, you know, based on data, um, and then I would also say, like you know, the progress you're going to make is based on your level of commitment, of course, and your workability. Like, people come into couples typically with really good intentions, and so you're going to get great progress because you are the one putting in the work. And then the other thing is that, at the same time, while we're not fixing your problem, I believe couples therapy is actually highly directive.
Speaker 3:So most therapy is thought of as, like, I go in and this person sort of listens to me and they might ask me reflections, so I come up with my own conclusions, and in couples, that's not what it is. People are genuinely coming in saying if I had the answer, I'd be doing it. Hold my hand, teach me the skills, help me. So we're really directive in our practice at Maverick. We're really honest and loving way we deliver truths that hard, truths that people really need to hear so that they can move the needle on their own.
Speaker 2:And that's very empowering that you, you know that. You say you have the power to do this and to change this. We're just here to direct you and hold your hand. What are, who are your target customers and how do you attract them? I know you said you're broadening your practice to include kids, but obviously couples.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I would say the main group is couples ranging from like early twenties to like late sixties. These are folks who want to improve communication. Maybe they have a history of trauma. It's affecting how they manage conflict. They want to do that in a healthier way. Maybe it's just folks who want to have better sex, like really want to improve their intimacy. Maybe it's just folks who want to have better sex, like really want to improve their intimacy.
Speaker 3:And then you know, there's this other pocket of folks that we see who are on the brink. Either they've already gotten to the worst or they have contacted an attorney and they are ready to go, and so we actually offer intensives. So this is something a lot of practices don't do. But we offer two day intensives. We meet with the couple for basically 16 hours total. So what would happen? Yeah, in like 1618 hour or 1618 weeks, right to accomplish, we do it in two days. So we see remarkable results for folks who are on the brink, right, eventually moving toward recommitment. So those are two of the biggest pockets.
Speaker 3:But then, yeah, we see a smaller proportion of individuals, teens, parents, like once we build rapport, and they see the expertise we're providing. They're like how you've helped me relationally here. I need help here. As a parent, I need help with my you know sibling, my adult you know sibling. So we do a lot of all of that kind of work. And then they're coming from referrals. A lot of all of that kind of work, and then they're coming from referrals. A lot of them are word of mouth again, are satisfied clients letting people know hey, we got help, y'all should get help. And then, of course, like your normal marketing strategies, we've got some ads out there, we've got a pretty great website Some of just those natural strategies.
Speaker 2:I love how you talk about the, even the premarital things, cause I feel like you know people will always wait until there's a problem to get counseling. You go into it, setting that as the tone. I think sometimes people discover things that they didn't know and it might kind of, you know, not necessarily change their decision to get married, but maybe kind of change their approach to this person, help enlighten them as far as you know how to handle them. Moving forward, yeah, absolutely Yep. So outside of work, what do you do for fun?
Speaker 3:OK, so a couple of things. I really I love relationships, right, so I love pouring back into the ones that give to me and matter to me and, you know, get out of my head Right, get out of session, get out of all kind of those intense feelings that I walk with couples with All that's been put on you yeah, great.
Speaker 3:So like I mean lots of self-care stuff my husband's like you are the self-care guru like massages, yoga, of course, like long walks, right, like I love getting out for a hike, just getting out of the normal rhythm and getting in touch with nature. I really love that. It always feels great. And then I have a family. I have two little girls and so we just do fun stuff, play Barbies and just enjoy time with them and reconnect with myself in different ways. And then I love, love, love murder mysteries. So I will scoop up a great murder mystery and like read that in a weekend if I can.
Speaker 2:I heard that that sounds great, so let's just switch gears a little bit. Can you describe a hardship or a life challenge that you overcame and how it made you stronger?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I love that question. I think it goes back to kind of how I grew up. You know. I think we all experience relational trauma and dysfunction. We just do. And then some of us experience big T trauma along with that and you know that can really bring us down. It just can right the symptoms that emerge from it, the dysfunctional patterns, the behaviors you know shame, feeling falsely empowered, too superior, I mean all of that stuff.
Speaker 3:I feel like I could have gone down those paths and there's probably moments in my life where I have. But it's incredible to me that I look at this dysfunction, what once caused me a great deal of pain in my childhood, that I'm a believer. So I believe God has really helped me in that area and taken what would have been something that could have destroyed me, destructed my self-esteem and my self-worth, and instead, like has grown this gift for me and I you know that I mean this my ability to relate to my clients and experience empathy with them because of my own experiences, I think, is why I can sit with them, why they feel safe. So I think it's a huge gift.
Speaker 2:That's such a blessing and I see it a lot of times as the hero, villain kind of concept of we all have gone through something and some people let it engulf them and define them, and other people use it to enlighten themselves and to do good in the world, and so I'm glad you found that.
Speaker 3:I love that analogy, Millie. I'm going to use that Please do that's so good.
Speaker 2:I love it Because, if you think about it, heroes and villains both have a backstory of trauma or tragedy, and one says I don't want anyone to ever feel this way and another says I want everyone to feel as bad as I felt.
Speaker 3:So we all have our choices to make for sure.
Speaker 2:So, christina, tell us one thing you would like for the listeners to always remember about marriage therapy.
Speaker 3:I have an incredible team. This this question was so easy for me to answer. I have built and created an environment that is positive, that is healthy. Okay, like there's a lot that goes on behind the scenes in group private practice that can be really toxic and insidious and ultimately right. If a clinician isn't in an environment where they are cherished, celebrated, safe, that energy, that discord, that dysfunction is going to affect the clients. It just will every time.
Speaker 3:So I'm fiercely protective of our culture. I hire really strategically. They have to complete like a million personality tests with me because I really want folks that are extremely skilled, naturally empathetic, right, and they've got all the education and all the things to back it up. But their health, their emotional health, is on point. They are in the environment because they are outside of it, taking care of themselves, and so they show up as warm, approachable, accountable, empathetic, vulnerable. They're able to model all the tenets of relationality that we're trying to teach our clients. So right now, like in my current work, I'm not accepting new clients unless they are intensives, accepting new clients unless they are intensives. But I have built a wonderful, growing team that is constantly growing and dedicated to their service that would be honored to work with folks.
Speaker 2:And none of that surprises me. I was like you focus on your team's relationship with each other and their relationship with their clients, because relationships are what's important to you. How can people get in contact with you guys?
Speaker 3:Yeah, so one thing is we're on Instagram, which can kind of be cool because I've got some recorded work out there, so folks can kind of see us in action. So that's our Maverick Marriage Therapy is our handle, and folks can kind of take a look on there and learn a little bit more about the intensive, see us in action, learn about some of our foundational beliefs. And then, of course, my beautiful website, maverickmarriagetherapycom is a great resource. It lists all our providers, who they are, why they do what they do, what they do right Like who they specialize in. I've got folks that do a focus on crisis, high conflict, a fair recovery, those that are more premarital communication. You know unique interests in all different modalities, so definitely visit the website.
Speaker 2:Thank you so much for being with us, Christina. I have really just enjoyed hearing you talk about what you do. You are so passionate and best of luck to you and Maverick moving forward. Thanks so much, Millie.
Speaker 3:I appreciate your time.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to the Good Neighbor Podcast. To nominate your favorite local businesses to be featured on the show, go to gnpcobbcountycom. That's gnpcobbcountycom, or call 470-470-4506.