Adventures and YouTube - Asking for Help and Trying New Things

In this episode, I chat with Adventurous Coaching founder Polly Brennan about her work as a coach, helping people step outside their comfort zones, build confidence, and create positive change through adventure, reflection, and personal development.

We also talked about her journey to setting up a YouTube channel and what she learned along the way about just 'getting it done' and why authenticity matters far more than expensive equipment or highly polished production.

If you want to know more about Kate visit AskMrsWatson.com, follow @askmrswatson on Instagram or follow The AskMrsWatson show on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/AskMrsWatsonShow/. I'll also be on the TikyTok before too long as well so keep your eyes peeled!

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Today on the tech show, we're joined by Polly Brennan, founder of Adventurous Coaching, a mental fitness coach, NHS, occupational therapist, and creator of the mental fitness kit bag system. Polly works with leaders, professionals, and people at Burnout to help them reconnect with their purpose, resilience, and adventure. She's also launched a YouTube channel to bring those conversations to a wider audience. Does that sound like you, Polly? Yes, that appears to be me and beautifully done. Thank you so much. Polly, for people discovering you for the first time, I obviously discovered you a long time ago and think you're amazing. Can you share what the story is behind Adventurous Coaching?

SPEAKER_01 0:52

Well, great question. Because I had to do a bit of soul searching and think a bit about that, where that all started. So Adventures Coaching will be 11 years old this year, and it was all a bit accidental. It was a bit of an accidental thing. I wasn't on a mission to do anything. And it's a really personal story, actually. And it started off with me being in a real pain point in my own life, mentally and emotionally, due to circumstances in my life, and connected up with a friend who just had this amazing transformation. She just looked better, her eyes were brighter, she had just this joy for life about her that I hadn't seen for a while. And I was like, what's going on with you? What's your secret? And she'd hired a coach and started to do some work on herself and started to tackle things that were like roadblocks in her life and to like have some big discoveries and about herself. And it was just taking her on a really good route in life. And one of the things she decided to do was to train to be a coach. At that time in my life, I was kind of feeling a bit stuck too. And I just decided to jump on her adventure with her and go train to be a coach together. I hired a coach, and um, it's a bit of a personal share, but when I hired this coach, the one of the first things she said was tell me what's going on. So I told her what was happening in my life, and I had didn't unexpectedly, I sort of was quite tearful and quite upset about that sort of particular pain point. And she said to me, Okay, so you told me your story, how's that working out for you then? And I said, What do you mean? And she went, Your story? How's it working out for you? And I was kind of taken aback. I was like, It's it's it's what's happening, it's the truth. And she's like, Yeah, but it is one story, it's one version of you know, of a narrative of what's happening in your life. How's it working out? And I said, It's terrible. I hate it. She's okay, let's start to do some work on it then. So those two things sort of happened for me at once, and it was inspired by someone else's change, um, and realizing that I could have that too, and I didn't have to be stuck in a in a in a crappy, rubbish, unhelpful narrative, and I didn't have to be stuck in a situation or in a life that didn't work for me. And when I started training to be a coach, and it was quite a quite an undertaking, I had these small kids, and I already had a career in NHS, and I was becoming really frustrated that we waited for people to get really risky and really poorly before we helped. And I really, really, really wanted us to catch people upstream so badly, wanted us to sort of just let's catch people early, let's do more prevention, let's help people for longer, let's keep people out of the system. And so, what started off as just a bit of a personal journey became like a professional journey too, because started this co this training to be a coach, and I'm already a therapist, but it sort of it had an angle of entrepreneurship in the training as well. Like, yeah, if you're a coach, you know, you're gonna, you know, you potentially might want to have a business, and it wasn't really angle that I was expecting, so I realised I was on an entrepreneurial adventure that I hadn't planned to take. And um, and but by the time my years training, I think nowadays coaching qualifications, I think like everyone's a coach. You can buy I'm sure you can buy a coaching like course on Groupon, and there's a lot of coaches out there, but this was a year-long course with lots and lots of assessments and trips to London and blah blah blah. But you know, doing that with little little ones too and a career was quite a lot, but I realised it was a bit of an exciting adventure for me too, and so um it kind of led me into um networking events and and and going to places. Well, that's where we met. And that's where we met just even 11 years ago, so I must admit you're right just at the beginning then. Really wet behind the ears, you know, turning up for networking events. If anybody was listening and you're, you know, you're maybe not in entrepreneurship, but you're like, what would that be like? I think the secret is to be brave and scared at the same time, and just I decided that that it was vital that I got rid of perfection of this idea that I had to kind of know what to do. I'm a recovering perfectionist, so like I've learned that you start where you're at and you don't compare because other people's journeys are, you know, you might be completely I love that. I'm a recovering perfectionist. I'm gonna steal that. And of course, that um I probably stole it too. I think I stole it from stole it from Amber Farrier, who's an absolutely incredible uh coach from Coaching Connected Northeast. There we go. I've got a week are we are we uh out for Northeast? You are phenomenal. But uh realizing that to just get started, the secret was not to compare because I might be looking at someone else's like 10-year journey and comparing it to my day one to start and to learn everything I could along the way and to surround myself with other people who were on that journey. And it's I describe it, Kate, as being a little bit like be the slow girl in the fast run run group in the run club. You know, that the metaphor of just hang about with people that are better and faster and kind, who'll like maybe just slow down for you, they'll encourage they'll give you some some tips around technique and skill and what to learn. And I think that for me, you know, just going to networking events like the events I met you at and and surrounding myself with people that were like, God, this is exciting. We're we're excited for you. How can we help? Um, and and then you become part of a community where other people all of a sudden, like, I'm like, I'm doing YouTube stuff. What why like who do I think I am? Like doing doing YouTube videos and having a YouTube channel, etc., which we'll come back to, I'm sure. But you know, starting to do things, feeling like I'm um imposter, wondering who the hell I thought I was, and thinking, do it anyway. What's what have I got to lose? I'll fall my face, I'm sure. Yeah, I'll dust myself down. Hopefully, there'll be a few other people that'll like pull their hand, you know, put their hand out and pull me up.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

Off I'll go again. And this isn't really natural my natural personality, so this evolved because I decided to do it. So long answer to a very short question, but that was how it all started.

SPEAKER_00 6:58

Yeah, wow, and it's been um amazing to say the least to watch along the way. And I didn't I didn't realise that that when we first met, you were at the beginning, you know. So it's it's I I remember, and we'll talk about the mental fitness kit bag and all that like that. But I used to love the props and all that kind of thing. I really, really loved it, and then a few things that we words we can't use because you know this is going out on Radio Northumberland as well. So uh so yeah, but yeah, love those, love those, and you know, to say uh without going into detail, the work you do is transformational and life-saving is just anyway. Well, move on. So you mentioned that uh you've spent a long time in the NHS, and when you're looking at patterns, so when people are struggling, what sort of thing would um would you see, and I mean I suppose that applies to the coaching business as well, but what sort of patterns do you see starting to emerge? Because is is there trends, is there things that that you know, although we're all unique, there'll be something go, uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 8:03

Often, and the key to say is that sort of in my NHS work and in my coaching work, sort of support people from all walks of life, and and really the point of messaging of that message really is no one has immunity, and everyone has mental health. So the first thing I'll say to people is you know, when it comes to this concept of mental health, if you have a pulse, if you're like a real moving, living person, you have mental health, and and and and regardless of what you your career is, your gender, your qualifications, no one's got immunity. So the patterns that emerge are are not like demographic related, it's very much like everyone. So patterns that emerge are about, I suppose one of the really common ones is people not feeling that it's okay to not be okay and and sort of pushing it down and just kind of being like it'll be okay. A bit like what we do. My example is like thinking about maybe having a back problem and needing to see a physio. You know, when my when my back starts to do that early twinge, and I know probably I need to do some exercises, some stretch, some strengthening. Do I do that? Nope. I wait till I'm like literally cannot get out of bed, and I'm like, I need a physio, I need to see the doctor, and it's it's something that people do a lot with their mental health, is they sort of know they're not okay. There's a lot, there's lots of whisperings around that in their mind that like this feels too tough. I'm really struggling, I'm feeling really stressed. But there's a shame associated with that, even now.

SPEAKER_00 9:40

Oh, massively still isn't there, even though it's so much more thankfully taught about now, there's still a lot of shame attached to lots of shame.

SPEAKER_01 9:47

Okay, you know, and and also this idea that yeah, we now identify with mental health as like as a real part of the condition called being human, but it's still for some people, it's like, but that's what happens to other people, not me.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

So therefore we don't have power through, power through, power through, ignore it.

SPEAKER_01 10:04

It's not okay, and it's a hustle culture, so it's like just carry on, just carry on. Um, and and then if we if we don't own it as part of us, it if we don't people don't own that vulnerability, you would have no idea how much time I spend just talking to people about the idea that vulnerability is number one, part of the human condition, like we all have it, but potential for vulnerability. But secondly, and this is the key, that vulnerability and resilience are completely connected. And you know, resilience is not just and mental mental fitness and mental health are not just personality traits that some people have and some people don't. Resilience has grown through tough times getting back up, learning from what's happened, working out how to deal with situations. So vulnerable people don't don't like the idea they're vulnerable, and that's what where that's where the shame comes from. And the educational piece of do a lot, a lot of psychoeducation around it's part of it's part of you, so so you will be vulnerable in the future, and you have been vulnerable, but it's a cue to do some work on yourself, so that's a big also. Um, like a stress is a part of normal life. We all you know, stress can be really good for us, it can help us perform, or it can it can be a signal to tell us we need to change something, but when people ignore it, so stress can be like internally driven, you know, it might be just part of your personality type or experience events in the past that you you need to work on. So there's all maybe some internally driven stress, perfectionism, high expectations. Um, some people just have a bit more of a proneness to having a more anxious style of thinking. When we ignore that, it can develop then into like an anxiety disorder. And so, again, it's about people not wanting to tackle stress early on and and to deal with it. So that that's a definitely a common theme. And again, that's back to people thinking, I just need to get on, you know, the hustle culture is like I haven't got time for that, I've got stuff to do. And then and then thirdly, I think um something that comes up a lot, and this makes me really sad is addictions. Addictions are a really big problem, you know. People um if if some people, you know, are conditioned and and brought up to to know how to sit, like look after themselves when we're upset. So managing emotions, tolerating distress. But if we don't have the strategies to soothe ourselves when when we feel uncomfortable, then the the easy go-to things are all around us. How many adverts can you count when you're watching telly at night? Gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble, gamble. Everything every second advert is encouraging us to gamble. Minecraft and all these games kids play, they're already conditioning our brains for reward, reward, reward. Yeah, um and this is again, this is like a drug, isn't it?

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Absolutely, whether it's alcohol gambling, drinking, whatever it is, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 13:02

You know, all sorts of things, you know. Um alcohol is uh a big worry too because I think our can our society it really normalizes drink. And you know, if you if you saw someone lying, you know, or lolling around against a wall with a needle in their arm, we'd be really quite distressed about that and horrified. You see someone really drunk, we we usually we have a laugh about it, you know, if somebody's drunk. Um and alcohol is a big for me, it's the big hidden um sort of worry because it we because we talk about alcohol all the time, like oh, had a tough day at the office, go home, get a there's a cold one in the fridge. How do you celebrate when you're happy? We have a drink. How do you catch up with our friends? We have a drink. What do you do when you're sad? I'll have a drink. So, you know, I could we could go on and on, that's a whole different podcast. But yeah, a biggie, a real biggie, and they and they massively impact people. And again, it's like learning how to deal with what's behind it, which is often we need to learn how to soothe and take care of ourselves when we're struggling.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

Yeah, that's it. Not mask it with addiction and stuff like that, which is so easy, isn't it? It's one of the things that's that's it's brilliant, and we'll we'll talk about in a second the the mental fitness kit bag and how that works. But it's that it's I think it for me, it's which is is kind of only occurring to me as I'm talking to you. It's divorcing that word resilience from you're not like sir, yes, sir, I'll keep running in the rain, and uh and that's not mental resilience, that's allowing yourself to be vulnerable and being kind to yourself and building that resilience. So you're kind of like your own best mate, yeah, you know. Um so yeah, that's that's an interesting thing because resilience gets seen as and mental toughness gets seen as if it's you know, it wrongly, I think, as if it's like you know, this this endurance thing. So you're on this endurance journey and it just feeds into the doesn't it? Keep going, keep going, keep going, keep going until you can't.

SPEAKER_01 14:56

Yeah, and you know it's that idea of like fall down ten times, get up 11, push, push.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:02

Actually, a lot again, and this is this is such a common challenge and a common piece of work I'll do with people, is self-compassion. People have learned, we know how to be compassionate because we're brought up learning we should be kind to people. But when you turn that around and say, How are you doing with self-compassion? You know, uh are you being kind to yourself? Do you do you speak to yourself the way you speak to other people? And it's something that um some people some people are very uncomfortable with it, but some some people are wow, it's just yeah, really are open to the idea of it, but it's not a skill they've been brought up or taught to do, so therefore it's kind of alien to a lot of us to say, you know, what if we could just take care of ourselves in the same way we take care of others when things are tough.

SPEAKER_00 15:48

And I think if you've had potentially if you've had trauma where you've you've had that, whether it's bullying or whatever it is, then you've you know you've been taught to believe that narrative. So you're the one every time you fall down, ah, you're an idiot, you're a this, you're a that, you're the other. And it's trying to say to that language, no, not today. Not today, I'm not listening to you, you're going away. But um, but yeah, which is why why what you do is so so ace. So we in our next segment, we're gonna dive into that a bit more and talk about the mental fitness kit bag. You're listening to the tech show from askmrswatson.com. I didn't even bring it with.

SPEAKER_01 16:32

What was the thing? My mental fitness kit bag is really it's a really it's a metaphorical concept. I do have a kit bag, of course, and I carry it around when I'm when I'm out and about doing things, particularly when I'm on adventures, because mental fitness and adventuring can be really closely connected, and I'm sure we'll talk about that. But is it is it's a really a it's a it's a metaphorical concept. It's the idea really that we you know we pack our bag for all sorts of things, don't we? We go out the door and we're on journeys all the time and we're always packing a bag. And um I guess um a kit bag is just a thing that we use to carry resources we need to take care of ourselves, isn't it? So whether it's a kit bag for a hobby, a kit bag for our work bag or a journey, um the gym, whatever we we we carry kit. So it's a metaphorical concept, really. And I was like, you know, there's a lot of people talk about tool kits and kit bags, um, and I think when I developed the mental fit the kit bag concept, there wasn't a lot of other metaphors around in that way, but it's a core concept really that um that's about um having good equipment, having skills, tools, things you need that are gonna help you um in life to to deal with the scenarios you're going to face, and what it sort of evolved um because I started to do a little bit of sort of research um about it was probably about 2018, end of 2018, starting to think what are the core, what are the key patterns, what do people come to me for help with? What are the struggles people have that mean that that compromises their mental health? And I kind of I suppose I kind of spotted about nine key patterns and I kind of started to look at well, what what would I help how do I help people with that particular challenge? What what's the challenge? What's the what's the theory that underpins the work I do? What's the skills that they develop at the end? And I kind of wrapped it up into kind of a a um a coaching system. Um and and the kind of kit bag was a way to think about each of the different skill sets people need to develop, and these skills, things that we can take with us every day in life, you know. So for example, there's there's nine, I'm I won't go through them, but I'll just take one as an example.

SPEAKER_00 19:04

It's the wheel, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 19:05

Yeah, it's a wheel. Yeah, and and the thing is I'd get people to rate themselves on the wheel at the beginning, and then we do the work, we look to see which areas of, I think if you think about a wheel as being like the wheel, if it's the wheel and the journey of your life, right? So when people rate themselves in different areas, then we start to join the dots, and we sort of question I was asked people is if this is the wheel on the journey of your life, is this a smooth ride or a bumpy ride? You know, how's this working out for you? But it helps us understand where we've got to do some more work. Um, so for example, mindset is a really important skill set that we work on as part of that, you know, what the mindset that we need to take us, you know, to take us into situations and be able to deal with challenges and overcome problems. Um another area we might look at is what are the um what what are the skills that you have to help you take care of your well-being day-to-day. The basics of just like, are you resting, are you playing, are you recovering, are you you know, are you are you nurturing your your your health on a very basic level? Um and there's like a little coaching exercise we do where we look at like what things that you do in a day nurture you and which things deplete you, and how do we kind of take take more of the deplete out and how do we build a bit more nurture? We focus in on resilience as a skill set and focus in on things like um how how to understand when your resilience has been compromised, like let's rag rate that and understand it. Let's spot the early signs when your resilience has been compromised, let's catch catch things early, and let's have a like a kind of a set of actions that you take that um help keep you kind of in in a uh sustainable place as much as possible, as much as any of us can. Um kind of the importance of like rallying the people around you that are gonna support you, how to ask for help, who are your supporters, who do you need to hire, fire, retire to to be more mentally well? Yeah, yeah. Um and um we kind of like work on on these different areas, and and and really it's just about like what we'll target the areas where people need most growth and development to be as well as you know to to to bounce back quickly. Um and and and really it's just like a I think of this as a lifelong concept. So I think people think um that if they've done something to take care of themselves mentally, it's like, oh yeah, I did that tick. Yeah, I did that. That was March 2024. Yeah, I've done that. It's like guys, this is like a it's a lifelong skill set that we need. Um we're gonna continue to develop strategies probably through the tough times we face, um, and we're gonna be we're gonna have to keep doing maintenance work because sometimes when we get really good in one area of our life, we let something else go. And then we have to kind of like reset and come back and strengthen ourselves in a particular way. Area and uh really kind of strength, you know, really top up our tank and bring usually it's just practice skills and habits.

SPEAKER_00 22:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:09

I'm thinking software updates.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Tiny as a tech bit, I'm thinking software updates. We don't do your software updates.

SPEAKER_01 22:16

Absolutely. I think like absolutely just you know, like restore to factory settings, but definitely doing those updates and upgrades. And you know, the the metaphors are like, how do we take care of our phone? You know, do you wouldn't dream of like leaving it uncharged but expect it to function? You wouldn't expect your laptop to you know to to operate with speed and integrity and and to keep your um security safe without doing those updates and upgrades. And we can't do that with ourselves either. You know, sustainable businesses, sustainable tech needs the sustainable people behind them as well.

SPEAKER_00 22:49

Definitely, definitely. So the clue's in the name, isn't it? Adventurous coaching. So that's part of um a big part of obviously what you you do within your work. In this next segment, we'll talk about why adventure matters and adventure as a transformation, if you like, and and and how what does that what does that look like to you? So, what's the adventurous and adventurous coaching, I guess? Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 23:18

Um just really quickly, when I was developing my business right at the start, when I realized I was on this adventure, so I was on an adventure, an entrepreneurial adventure, I never planned to take. And I did actually work with a bit of a co with a coach, and his niche was really help interesting. It was to help coaches find their niche. And he yeah, I thought that was a really cool niche, and he was helping me to uh work out what like what like what is this thing? What am like what what what would I do? And um he he he just got me to tell him, he said, just write down your life story and um just share it with me. And I was like, well, you know, which bit? And he went, You choose, just write stuff about yourself, and so I did. I just I actually found it quite fun just to kind of write some stuff and see, and you know, gifts and turns of life and good times, bad times, highs and lows. And then when I shared it with him, he said, Can you see the pattern? And I said, No, it's just my story. And he said, It's adventure, it's the golden thread through everything you've written. It's there, and I wasn't particularly brought up as uh I don't think I've kind of was brought up in a family that they were particularly adventurous. My mum and dad sort of in their lane, stayed in their lane. Yes, a generation of people that like jobs for life and work you work hard, you have to work really, really, really hard all your life and you know, stay in your lane and get on. And so that was I wasn't brought up with an adventure, and I think adventure for me is something that as I broke free and kind of started to lose my freedom, you know, leaving home and going to uni in a new city, and I think as that became the beginning of kind of you know life becoming my adventure and and and starting to go traveling with friends and experience a lot of things that have happened along the way. I can write a book. In fact, I am, yeah, yeah, fantastic.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

Yeah, you have to come back on and talk about that.

SPEAKER_01 25:17

Yeah, yeah. Well, everybody's writing a book, but not everybody's completing a book, so well, yes, watch this space. Um, but lots of things happened along the way, and then I think over I think it's sort of organically evolved. The adventure evolved, and then and I suppose um, you know, for me, adventures might be um well, adventure can be anything, it's probably going to be something that I've never thought of or tried, and someone will mention it and I'll be like, I'll do that. So um, you know, um, you know, jumping out of an airplane, um to just see but from from something as extreme as that of that, as just sitting on a beach with a fire, um to just getting in the sea and having a splash and a play, um to um visiting unusual countries and all these kinds of things, but really I think everybody is an adventurer. Um some people, if they listen to my version of adventure, they would say, Well, I'm not adventurous. And the key really is um the key is is the simple question what does adventure mean to you? Yeah, and it can that can mean anything. It can be adventure can be um social or solo, it can be indoors or outdoors, it can be about learning or making or trying to experience so so it's just you know, you can swap it for other words like creativity or but it's just about what what would what would make you if somebody talked about something and and it invoked that kind of feeling inside, that like oh like or radio for me. What did you say?

SPEAKER_00 26:56

Yeah, yeah, radio, yeah, radio for me.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

That's like that's it, isn't it? It's like and one of Maggie adventures was uh going on a radio show to be interviewed about mental fitness and then ended up having a radio show, yeah. Like that's another sort of crossing point for you and I as well, because you were on my show with Maggie, and then it became Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So one of the best summers I can remember for a long time. Yeah, really lovely. And and so you know, radio is an excit a really exciting way to share messages to um to talk to people and have interview people with stories to tell that might inspire other people, and to and and to shine the light on um the idea that like community exists and kindness exists and curiosity. We stay curious and we can learn about all the incredible people that are just on our doorstep and they're thumbling that are making a difference or having their own adventures, and we can I think we can inspire each other. So to answer your question, I think adventure is a mindset.

SPEAKER_00 28:04

It's a mindset, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 28:05

And I think it's not just about it's not about climbing mountains or any of that stuff, it's about curiosity, it's about courage, it's about you know um taking risks, it's it's about trying new things, um, it's about permission to experiment, it's about um trans making transformations, it's about connections with people, it's about teamwork, it's about and I think any adventure and the and the lessons can that can be learned are translatable into other situations. So I think it's really applicable into the world of tech. I think it's really applicable into teamwork, into businesses, and to everything, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:44

Definitely, definitely, and I say it comes back to that resilience, doesn't it? And what what resilience is and and understanding that, yeah, and yeah, self-compassion and all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

I've been on maybe on a bike route and something's gone wrong, and then um, and then I've kind of had to find a way through, and then later I've been in a business situation and thought, I don't know how to solve this, and then I've thought, where else have I learned how to sit with this customer and reach out for help, for example, and or learn something, and and I've I've been able to translate what I've learned from adventure into something else, or I've gone out on an adventure, but when I've been out there, I've solved a problem that's you know connected to tech, to business, to something else. So making making space for that is so important.

SPEAKER_00 29:35

And I think you said earlier on in this part of our chat about surrounding yourself with people who are going to lift you up, who are going to, and that's for for me is a matter of you know, you're part of my tribe, absolutely, and it's it's that, and and because sometimes, particularly when we look outside at the wider world, things can look pretty dark, and yet you run the kind of going, everything's bad, and I can't do anything about anything, and these problems are too big, and and and so having that community and realizing that all these amazing things are going on, and that you've got these people that have got your back behind you, um, is really you know, it's it's a it's a wonderful thing, isn't it?

SPEAKER_01 30:17

It is, and it's it's such a key part of mental fitness. It's a whole I've got a whole module dedicated to that part, that piece about you know, no man's an island, no women's an island. We we do need people, whether you're introverted, extroverted. Um we all we all do need people at some point for some stuff, and it's what's really critical to our mental health and mental fitness is the right people, yeah, and and also knowing knowing who to call on when we need support and um and finding ways to reach out and communicate what we need from people asking for help.

SPEAKER_00 30:56

And I think yeah, so sorry to dive in there, but yeah, I think being um brave enough to ask for help. So I know a lot of people, probably me included, struggle to say, help me. It comes back to that thing about this is weak, this is weak. When it's not, it's it's actually quite uh, you know, I would say quite a skill to be able to be okay with going, I need some help. And yeah, that's all right, and that doesn't take anything away from from you know, it doesn't make you any less of a person or anything like that.

SPEAKER_01 31:25

One of my strongest values, if I was to like if you if you if you cut me down the middle, one of my strongest values is like it'd be like Emerg Rock, it's like right in there, is independence. So if you have a really strong sense of independence, asking for help isn't easy, yeah. Or if you see vulnerability as a weakness, then asking for help isn't easy. And and and I remember someone saying to me, like, I remember being in a place where I just could never and ask for help. Like I couldn't say I need help and I would struggle without it, and I couldn't I couldn't work around it. And one of the things that um I've worked on is the idea if you change, if you change the kind of story, if you change the narrative about needing help, and it doesn't make mean you're weak, and it doesn't mean you know that you're not capable, it just it just means that sometimes we just need the power of the team around us to help us get what we need, or we need someone else. So I adapted my I can't ask for help to what if I can what if I could ask for help and what if it but I have to do something back, like I can't take without doing something back. It became it became well, I could ask for help as long as I do something back straight away, it has to immediately happen, and I need to like, you know, there has to be an exchange both ways. Right. Then it's softened to I can ask for help and I can offer to do something back when I can, and I know that I will want to reciprocate and then I'll be able to do something, and therefore actually it's even better because because I ask for help, somebody else will get help too.

SPEAKER_00 33:09

Yeah, yeah, it's like the ripple effect, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 33:11

Yeah, and sometimes when I'm coaching young people and they don't have the means, I'll do a pay it forward thing. So I'll be like, you you take the help, you're worried that you can't, you know, you you're worried about asking for help, take the help. And in the future, when you've got the resources and you feel really, you know, grounded and really capable, I want you to pay that forward to someone else because you'll feel then you'll feel like you've been able to do the right thing at the right time with the right skills, and you can invite them to do the same. And guess what? You can create a ripple effect. So I think we have to try really hard to get over this idea that asking for help's a weakness. Yeah, it's actually a strength, it's a skill set to ask to know how to ask and know who to ask, and to know what to ask for.

SPEAKER_00 33:55

Yeah, yeah. Or at least to be open to working out, yeah, absolutely. And uh yes, lots of things going through my mind there. We could definitely another two or three podcasts in there, isn't there? So um, so yes, we um we talked about because this is the the tech show, of course, and we've we've made a few tech references uh and made some some connections there. Um, but you have a YouTube channel, so which we were talking about before we came on air, as it were. And so it'd be nice in this next segment if we can talk about that a little bit. So how it started, you know, what you um how it fits into everything you kind of do at the moment, and and any sort of aspirations you've got in terms of you know using that as a channel to connect with people, um, and and continue to build, you know, which is a is is a wonderful uh poly brand, you know. So yes, we'll talk about that in our next uh segment. Uh you're listening to the tech show uh uh from askmrswatson.com so YouTube. So we we we mentioned when we were last talking there about YouTube and and uh and the the it's it's obviously it's a it's a massive phenomenon, say that word. Um so what kind of made you think, yeah, I'm gonna have this as a channel and and what was that journey like and and what does the future look like when it comes to that?

SPEAKER_01 35:25

So funny story. Um when I started going back, zooming back 11 years to when Adventures Coaching started, um I told you that I was sort of starting to network and be in other environments with people who were way more experienced in business and also had their own, you know, YouTube channels, um, working with a lot of people who like were really tech savvy and tech comfortable and or really aspirational about you know being out there for the world, and it was probably less of a thing then. And um I was challenged by someone uh in a in a networking tech environment to to put a YouTube video out there, and um I was really uncomfortable about it. I had lots to say around mental health and mental fitness. I didn't lack the kind of strength of messages to share, and I didn't lack the kind of um drive to to put those messages out there, but it seemed to me like an alien world, something I knew nothing about. So um they they just challenged me. They said, Well, start off, just start off, go live, do it, just do it. Um so I sat down and I was like, Okay, I'll just do it because they said do it. And I sat down and I started, and then I looked and I was like, someone's like watching, like and then I saw someone else join and I went, and I just aborted it. I just pressed the button and went and then the next day I was like, I'm just gonna pretend that never happened. Like if I pass anyone on the street that was there, I'm just gonna be like, let's not talk about it. Like, there's a bird, change the subject. So it'd been really uncomfortable for me. And I was like, right, okay, that was my full start. I could have easily developed a narrative of like YouTube's not for me, who did I think I was, and so what have I got to offer? But instead, I just decided that I wanted to have a YouTube channel because I wanted to get a message out there that I thought some people might need to hear. I wasn't sure who. So I didn't really go out there with a strong kind of brand or a strong this is what it is, and it'll look like this and it'll sound like this. There's no again, just sort of start somewhere and then let it evolve, let it organically look what it's meant to be. And so what I did then instead was um I decided that the best approach for me would to be create to create a library of maybe 20 odd videos that I wasn't going to do anything with, just keep them um you know unlisted and hidden. Yeah. And um, once I had kind of that number of videos, then I thought another way to create content for YouTube is to do a YouTube channel launch countdown. So I just sort of thought, right, okay, so I'll launch it on maybe like the 31st of December, and it's a big celebration because I'm launching it and it's Hogman A. And what I did was for 20 days um or so before the launch date, I created um a really short video on a that just went on social media, and it was like the countdown. So I was trying to, I was building intrigue, creating intrigue about something that that didn't that I wasn't then gonna have to perform because the videos were already made. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've done it, but people will think I'm launching it from the start. Yes. Um, and so that started to create some intrigue on social media, and you know, I like had one video where I was like in the car uh in the on the beach doing a cartwheel over the number six because it was six days to go. You know, I was getting lots of fun stuff around me using my vibe. I think it was before Christmas, so I managed to um I found a Santa Claus in um uh in Glasgow, and um I persuaded him to let me get on the back of his motorbike, and we got like I did a YouTube channel. No way, one of my videos was from back like the back of Santa's motorbike. Um so just having fun and looking for things around me to just build and tweak, and then as I said, like the second attempt of the launch of the the channel was much more like on my terms, I felt in control of it. Yes, and I'd had time to be playful around it. So I guess the launch felt um adventurous to me.

SPEAKER_02 39:49

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 39:50

Um, and in terms of um my YouTube channel, I probably I think this is the part where I'm supposed to give lots of pearls of wisdom and have this really strong, clear strategy, but I don't because what I'm gonna say is is really um when I put content out on um on YouTube, it's usually related to an element of how to strengthen your mental fitness. It's I I'm trying to share tips because I think a lot of people have got content out there and it's like telling us we need a thing, but they don't tell us how to do the thing.

SPEAKER_00 40:24

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 40:26

Yeah, and I think that I think that content should be about telling people how to, even if it's maybe you know, I could have 10 different strategies I'd like to share, but even if I just like share three, it's a starting point for people to make content simple, try and keep videos short. Um and um I I don't watch them once I've made them. I don't know. I should probably watch them and re-look at them, but it's not but when I create the content, probably a bit more. It's in the moment. I I don't know about you, but when I create a video, I I don't want to watch it. It makes me cringe a bit. So I'm like, I don't want to watch it. I'd you know, and if I heard someone press play on one of my videos, I'd be like, no, don't want to hear it, because it's not really for me. And the easiest way to do it is to not get into analysis of what I've said, done, did I say um, was it perfect? It's yeah, it's it's it's a it's it's sort of real and it's it's shareable, um, but it could probably could be better. And I think the key is to not worry about creating this wonderful content because I think if your um if your message is is clear and and and you know what you want to say, then people forgive you for you know imperfect you know recording.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Well, I think it embraced it probably because and again that's one of the things I like about you know community radio and community things and and and doing things without being too polished, is because our lives aren't polished, are they? So, you know, it's uh in in in the in the world of of tech that I live most of the time, it's you know, it's mistakes are good. Yeah, mistakes are good, make mistakes because you learn how to do it. I think it's environmental, you can do that.

SPEAKER_01 42:13

And I think I think in terms of the like the currently, I'd like I don't know what my membership is, uh but I think yes, I would like to grow it. And I think for some people like um scaling up YouTube can be a money, like can be monetized.

SPEAKER_02 42:26

I know that can be done.

SPEAKER_01 42:27

I've not really gone down that route because I think my focus is if I could build a community um of other people who you know think like this or people who think slightly differently, but they want to share their view and that broaden all of our perspectives. If we can all share, we don't all have to say think the same thoughts. People don't have to think like me or do like me. Everybody it's about embracing who you are, sharing your perspectives, but really as long as the intention is um to lift each other up, then that's I think the building the community part is what's most important. And that's and that's what tech allows us to do, doesn't it? You know, tech can pull us down, tech can become a problem in our lives, but tech tech can can be used for good. Um and that's that's what excites me about tech.

SPEAKER_00 43:18

Yeah, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_01 43:20

And that's what it's like about community radio too.

SPEAKER_00 43:23

Yeah, so it's it is it's the for me, it's the it's the connection that you can make. So, you know, if I'm if I'm um training people and they they don't feel digitally confident, one of the first things I'll look at is how can we make you feel confident on Zoom or Teams or something like that, because that then opens the door to everything else.

SPEAKER_01 43:43

Absolutely, and I love what you said about it's not can I do this? It's like what you what you teach people, Kate, Mrs. Watson. Um ask Mrs. Watson. And I can and I can and I have asked Mrs. Watson many times, and I would say to people that um of the one of the ways to take care of your mental health, stroke mental fitness, is to to ask Mrs. Watts and to sign up for your you know program because because technology for me is my kryptonite. It's the thing if there's one thing that's going to tip me into like sliding down that scale between like mentally fit on one end of the scale and and and and and and and not feeling so mentally well. It's technology for me is my big kryptonite. And so I love that what you do is there to empower people and um I think the key really is is to know we can ask and reach out for help. But I love that what you said is that what you do isn't is to help people go from can I do this to how can I do this and that you look at the how to empower people so is that technology becomes their friend and technology becomes part of their life and technology becomes part of what makes how they do everything easier.

SPEAKER_00 45:05

Yeah yeah and doesn't and I I say to people quite often that that you know um digital confidence is a wellbeing issue and they'll look at me and kind of go is it and I go it absolutely is absolutely come to me and I'll I'll I'll reinforce that. Yeah because it is for me and you know that you know that uh it's been so many times I've been so grateful to have you on my team technology is a well-being issue for lots of reasons for lots of reasons yeah yeah exactly yeah there is there's lots of reasons so um so yeah thanks for being an advocate so we're gonna head into probably we're at the final segment um shortly so um what I thought we'd we'd look at in that segment is uh the theme we've got is how to live more adventurously so so for those of us that kind of want to be on this journey and have listened to to all the brilliant things you've said um and want to take some actions um in our segment five we'll talk about that lovely let's do it so how to live more adventurously then what do you think okay so um I think that I think that more people are now realizing hopefully and I think this is a big message that I want to get across to people that um the clock's is ticking and the world is spinning and that your life is happening now.

SPEAKER_01 46:33

And um in the past I've heard a lot of people talk about you know when when I get when I when we have our holiday you know uh when I retire when things feel better when the project's done when when when I'll dot dot dot whatever it is they really really want to do and one of the messages that I really want to get across to people is that the time is now it's now it's here and we've seen it we've all heard stories about you know tragedies happened life's changed things can happen and we must never I think we always have to assume that the now is now is the most precious time that we have um what's in the rear view mirror we can't we can't change anything so you know we can have an awareness of it we can't change it and what's that what's ahead yes I I want more I want to have more I want to be more I want to do more but here's what we have right now and we have to you make sure that where we're at now takes us closer to where we want to be that's the first thing is just like like stop putting it off guys we we can't have it now. Um I think secondly a lot of people do spend time sort of almost like looking through the window of life looking out there at a life they could have or looking out there at lives other people are having and feel like it feels really out of reach and um and and so that that's that's really important. And I think that usually discomfort can be a precursor for change. So when we're really uncomfortable about our lives and we don't feel like we have what we want or if we look at other people and we have FOMO because they're doing stuff we want it's just a it's a beautiful important kind of discomfort that's there to have us asking um you know what would Aventure look like to me or what would a lovely life look like to me and going back to that can I have it but shifting the question from can I have that to how can I have that or how can I have what I want. So I think this is a mindset shift. I think the first thing is discomfort is often the precursor because you know usually when things aren't uncomfortable enough we ignore them you know like our mental like our sore yeah we ignore it. So we need that bit of like a rub a bit of a like rub of values or a discomfort because things right to to usually action doesn't happen until the discomfort we have about what we have now is greater than the discomfort of doing something about it. Yes that's when you always start to take action but the but the real the key really is to work out what it is you really want what is it that it would look like if you were living your what I would call perfect average life and have a coaching exercise called perfect average life and it is very much about like you know if nothing were a challenge if there were no barriers if it was easy what would life look like for you you know and it's the it's gitty gritty details you know who would you be talking what time do you get up what do you do first what conversations are you having you know what what are you eating what you know who are you spending time with what do you do for purpose what do you do for finance what do you do for joy and really understanding what what a lovely life looks like and what you really want is so important. And what I love most about this Kate is that often when we ask people to start thinking well what is it you really want some of what we describe as already available some of what we describe as like I don't know where to start on that and some of it is like well actually I already have that yeah yeah so when I did my coach for perfect average life kind of and played around with it and it was a lovely exercise you can kind of like you know you can do it as a digital exercise you can like you know kind of create a visual of something that you really want you can there's lots of different tools you can use then some of what I wanted I was like well I can already have that that's really great okay I need to do that more so for example if it's I want if I want a beach life kind of existence lifestyle put your shoes on and go to the beach more you know it's there we live in we live by the coast um or if you want more time with great people contact the great people in your life or if you don't have great people in your life go join a club or join a forum or join something where there might be great people. So something we can we can realise that actually some of what we have is available already super exciting. Just have to say yes to it. Some of what we have might be so easy to have but we're like we just haven't done it yet you know um and it would be actually easy just to put that into practice but it might mean it might mean saying no to something else like you might mean saying no to other people to say some yes to something for you. And then some of the stuff's like well I don't know how to have it but okay you can still want it even if you don't know how to have it yet and yet's the key question.

SPEAKER_00 51:35

Yes absolutely so if people want to know more about Polly yes where can they go? Where do you where do you hang out online? So it gives this is your chance to give us a good plug as to where's the best places and how to get everywhere everywhere except X.

SPEAKER_01 51:51

Yes same my choice um I'm on Facebook I am on LinkedIn I'm on Instagram I have a website www dot adventurouscoaching.com but if you people were looking me up it's just if you look up adventures coaching you'll find me and you know some of it's about adventures I'm having and some of it's about kind of like let's all pay attention to ourselves let's all work in our mental fitness and let's all I'm not allowed to swear beep the arse out of life. Beep beep yes exactly exactly beep the beep definitely pick the beep newsletter your newsletter is brilliant yes thank you for reminding me about that I have a newsletter I always forget that I do it because it's just something I do it's a weekly thing it's a Wednesday thing I think that's a bit of a hump day of the week for people and it's sort of like we're far enough into the week to maybe feel a bit like oh you know we're we're hanging in there but also we're getting closer to the weekend and the idea is to create some inspiration for people for weekends and you know just kind of saying yes to themselves.

SPEAKER_00 52:57

And it's just a little short um it's a short little short um campaign so it's just not a heavy read and um people can if you jump on my website you can just sign up for that fantastic and recommend you do so oh it's been a pleasure it's been a pleasure so much always for me always thank you for having us and thank you to anyone who's endured me for all this time thank you for listening I really appreciate you we should be friends oh absolutely yes poly should be everyone's friend definitely cool and uh yeah that's all from the tech show this um this week so uh tune in you can hear us on the podcast online at any time uh if you visit uh www.asbestionswatson dot com you will find this and all the other podcasts there and on Radio Northumberland the tech show is every Friday at two pm