Episode 12 - Inside the IEP Process: Through the Eyes of Parents

In this episode, Athena Cordero sits down with Monica Rodriguez and Iván Campos to unpack the realities of navigating the IEP (Individualized Education Program) process as parents and professionals. They share candid stories about early signs, assessments, and the emotional journey from suspicion to diagnosis. The conversation explores what an IEP really is, why collaboration matters, and how families can advocate effectively without feeling overwhelmed. From practical strategies to emotional resilience, this episode offers guidance for parents, educators, and anyone supporting a child with unique learning needs.

Highlights

• Monica shares her 20-year journey raising three children with IEPs, including two daughters on the autism spectrum.
• Iván reflects on his dual perspective as a speech pathologist and parent of a child with dyslexia and dyscalculia.
• The emotional stages parents experience from denial to acceptance, and how they impact advocacy.
• Practical tips for handling IEP meetings: asking for breaks, requesting second sessions, and understanding your rights.
• Why intimidation is common and how to reframe the meeting as a team effort.
• The role of SELPAs in California and resources available for families.
• Strategies for helping children understand their diagnosis and advocate for themselves.
• The importance of planning for the future, not just the present, when setting goals.
• How respect, communication, and cultural awareness shape successful IEP experiences.

Takeaways

• Pause when needed: Parents can request multiple sessions for an IEP meeting, don’t feel pressured to sign immediately.
• You are your child’s best advocate: No one knows your child better than you.
• Plan long-term: Think beyond today’s goals. Consider skills for independence and future success.
• Normalize emotions: Fear, anger, and overwhelm are part of the process; seek support systems.
• Empower your child: Involve them when appropriate so they learn to self-advocate.
• Use available resources: SELPAs, educators, and community networks can provide guidance and technical support.

Key Timestamps

00:00:45 – Athena introduces the topic: IEP process and creating a safe space for real conversations.

00:01:35 – Meet the guests: Monica Rodriguez (parent) and Iván Campos (program specialist and parent).

00:03:45 – What is an IEP? Definition, purpose, and IDEA explained.

00:05:27 – Monica shares her children’s learning challenges and strengths.

00:10:12 – Iván describes his son’s struggles with dyslexia, dyscalculia, and attention regulation.

00:14:46 – How parents first realized something was wrong: early signs and teacher observations.

00:23:22 – Emotional impact of diagnosis: grief cycle, denial, and fear for the future.

00:34:11 – Breaking down the IEP meeting: who attends and what happens.

00:41:32 – Strategies for parents feeling overwhelmed during meetings: pause, ask questions, request part two.

00:46:14 – SELPA explained: what it is, what services it offers, and how families can access support.

Thanks for listening! Follow us on Facebook and Instagram | www.cahelp.org | podcast@cahelp.org

Transcript

00:00:45 Athena Cordero 

Okay, everybody, I'm Athena Cordero, and today I'm actually very excited. 

00:00:51 Athena Cordero 

We've got two parents with us. 

00:00:53 Athena Cordero 

talking about the IEP process, which can be a struggle for some folks. 

00:00:59 Athena Cordero 

So we're hoping that the conversation gives a lot of strategies, tips, resources, anything that can be helpful for anyone who's going through this process. 

00:01:08 Athena Cordero 

So I just want to make sure that 

00:01:11 Athena Cordero 

I just start us off by saying that this is going to be a safe space, okay, but maybe not always comfortable. 

00:01:19 Athena Cordero 

So we're going to respect the privacy of our parents, our guests here today, and the districts and the schools that they work with, but we're also going to give an opportunity for you guys to be real and talk about your real experience with your kiddos and your journey along the way, okay? 

00:01:35 Athena Cordero 

so I have with me today Monica Rodriguez, the parent that we've worked with. 

00:01:39 Athena Cordero 

You actually have experience with 

00:01:41 Athena Cordero 

working with multiple districts. 

00:01:44 Athena Cordero 

And then we have Ivan Campos. 

00:01:45 Athena Cordero 

He is a program specialist here at CAHELP. 

00:01:48 Athena Cordero 

And you also have a child who's on an IEP. 

00:01:51 Athena Cordero 

Okay, so tell me a little bit about yourselves. 

00:01:53 Athena Cordero 

Monica, you want to go first? 

00:01:55 Athena Cordero 

Sure. 

00:01:56 Monica 

So I've been in the IEP world for about 20 years now. 

00:02:05 Monica 

I have three children and all three of them had IEPs. 

00:02:08 Monica 

My oldest 

00:02:11 Monica 

You know, he had challenges with auditory learning. 

00:02:13 Monica 

And that's really where my journey started with him. 

00:02:16 Monica 

And then it trickled into my other two daughters. 

00:02:19 Monica 

I have two daughters in the autism spectrum. 

00:02:23 Athena Cordero 

Okay, okay, so 20 years experience with this. 

00:02:27 Athena Cordero 

Iván, what about you? 

00:02:28 Ivan Campos 

So I think Monica has me beat. 

00:02:30 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:02:30 Ivan Campos 

So I have about 17 years experience. 

00:02:34 Ivan Campos 

The first seven were more 

00:02:37 Ivan Campos 

as I was a school interpreter. 

00:02:39 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:02:39 Ivan Campos 

And so that's where I would go to IEP meetings and interpret. 

00:02:43 Ivan Campos 

And then the last 10 years have been really more in terms of my role being a service provider and an IEP, a speech pathologist. 

00:02:49 Ivan Campos 

And then now having worked here at the SELPA for the last several years. 

00:02:53 Ivan Campos 

And so I've had kind of both. 

00:02:55 Ivan Campos 

And then I was a parent for the last six. 

00:02:57 Ivan Campos 

Yeah. 

00:02:58 Ivan Campos 

So I've been around IEPs for a while, like yourself. 

00:03:02 Ivan Campos 

And it's very different depending on which side of the, sorry, choked up a little bit there. 

00:03:08 Athena Cordero 

That's okay. 

00:03:08 Ivan Campos 

Depending on which side of the, I guess, table you're sitting on. 

00:03:11 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:03:12 Ivan Campos 

It could look very different from the parent side and also from the. 

00:03:15 Ivan Campos 

school professional educator side. 

00:03:18 Athena Cordero 

I appreciate you saying which side of the table you're sitting on because immediately I think it helps listeners understand that you could feel a little intimidated when you're sitting across from someone. 

00:03:28 Ivan Campos 

But you know, but ideally it shouldn't be a side because it's an IEP team and there's no I in team. 

00:03:35 Athena Cordero 

Well, and we're going to get to that part actually. 

00:03:37 Athena Cordero 

Okay, so before we even really jump into it too, I want to make sure for those listening who don't even know what an IEP is, 

00:03:45 Athena Cordero 

An IEP is an individualized education program or plan. 

00:03:49 Athena Cordero 

It depends on the team who uses which word. 

00:03:52 Athena Cordero 

It's a written, legally enforceable plan for a student with a disability. 

00:03:56 Athena Cordero 

Now, I know that some folks choose not to use the word disability. 

00:04:00 Athena Cordero 

I'm giving a definition, just a general definition for right now. 

00:04:04 Athena Cordero 

The terms, you know, it depends on the folks who are having the conversation what they're comfortable with, right? 

00:04:09 Athena Cordero 

But it is developed under the Individuals with Disabilities Education Act, or IDEA, which interests 

00:04:15 Athena Cordero 

interestingly enough, just turned 50 this year. 

00:04:18 Athena Cordero 

And it's to ensure that students with, again, a disability receive free, appropriate public education or FAPE. 

00:04:26 Athena Cordero 

Did I get that right, Iván? 

00:04:27 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:04:29 Athena Cordero 

How did I do? 

00:04:30 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:04:31 Athena Cordero 

Okay, so for parents, it's really to help 

00:04:35 Athena Cordero 

help us understand the services that our child's going to be receiving in school. 

00:04:39 Athena Cordero 

It's to help keep us involved and to support some of those goals on that plan at home. 

00:04:45 Athena Cordero 

And then for teachers, it's more like a roadmap for lesson planning or planning for the classroom, setting expectations, and of course, working with that team, other teachers for making sure that, you know, Athena is having some success with her plan or her program. 

00:05:00 Athena Cordero 

Okay, to qualify, and I'm not gonna get into all the different ways, that's a podcast episode in itself, but typically to qualify, a child would have a disability that makes learning harder, so they need a little extra help, either special teaching or, you know, something individualized so that they can do their best in school, okay, in a nutshell. 

00:05:22 Athena Cordero 

And I know that's not doing it any justice when we're talking about qualifying. 

00:05:26 Athena Cordero 

Okay, so, 

00:05:27 Athena Cordero 

Now that we kind of understand what the IEP is, we've got a general idea. 

00:05:31 Athena Cordero 

I want you guys to put that aside for just a second and just tell me about your kids. 

00:05:35 Athena Cordero 

So Monica, you've got three kids. 

00:05:37 Monica 

Yes. 

00:05:38 Athena Cordero 

Describe them to me. 

00:05:40 Monica 

So they are lovely people. 

00:05:43 Monica 

They are, you know, they did have a lot of, you know, challenges growing up. 

00:05:49 Monica 

You know, I didn't immediately notice it. 

00:05:53 Monica 

It's not like, you know, I saw them one day and I said, oh, wow, you're struggling. 

00:05:58 Monica 

I, it didn't dawn on me that some of the things happening at home were trickling into the school setting piece. 

00:06:06 Monica 

It didn't dawn on me. 

00:06:09 Monica 

Yeah, so they're amazing in their own right. 

00:06:13 Monica 

Each of them have their own attributes. 

00:06:17 Monica 

Like my oldest son, you know, he has auditory learning, but 

00:06:21 Monica 

He's incredibly smart in other facets. 

00:06:25 Athena Cordero 

Give me an example. 

00:06:25 Athena Cordero 

Like, what's he just awesome at? 

00:06:28 Monica 

Yeah, he's like a tinker. 

00:06:30 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:06:30 Monica 

He's, he, like, I'll give you an example. 

00:06:33 Monica 

We had a shed and I was hiring someone to do it because I don't know what's the first thing about a shed, right? 

00:06:39 Monica 

I don't know how to build one. 

00:06:40 Monica 

And my husband works quite a bit. 

00:06:42 Monica 

He's a truck driver. 

00:06:43 Monica 

So 

00:06:44 Monica 

We were hiring this guy and the guy was supposedly somebody experienced and he couldn't figure out how to do the platform, to put the **** on top of it, to basically build it. 

00:06:54 Monica 

And it's the high desert, it's a lot of wind up here. 

00:06:57 Monica 

Yeah. 

00:06:58 Monica 

I didn't realize that there was all these different things impacting. 

00:07:02 Monica 

But my son, every day he'd come out and he'd be like, what is he doing? 

00:07:06 Monica 

Like, what's going on? 

00:07:07 Monica 

I'm like, I don't know. 

00:07:08 Monica 

I heard him to do the ****. 

00:07:09 Monica 

It's taken him longer than he said. 

00:07:10 Athena Cordero 

I knew what he was doing. 

00:07:11 Athena Cordero 

I don't know, right? 

00:07:12 Monica 

And so, you know, it took him too long. 

00:07:14 Monica 

So the guy ended up like giving up. 

00:07:16 Monica 

Oh. 

00:07:16 Monica 

And it was one of those like, whoa, wait a minute. 

00:07:18 Monica 

I hate. 

00:07:19 Monica 

What are we doing now? 

00:07:20 Monica 

It was weird. 

00:07:21 Monica 

And so my son, you know, he's like, you know what, let me go outside and check it. 

00:07:26 Monica 

He went outside. 

00:07:27 Monica 

This kid has no experience. 

00:07:29 Monica 

He's in his early 20s, no experience building sheds. 

00:07:32 Monica 

He's like, do you have the instructions? 

00:07:34 Monica 

He's like, let me see. 

00:07:35 Monica 

And I mean, he built the shed. 

00:07:39 Monica 

He finished it? 

00:07:41 Monica 

Yeah. 

00:07:41 Monica 

He finished the shed. 

00:07:41 Monica 

He put the walls up. 

00:07:43 Monica 

He was like, just hold this up. 

00:07:44 Monica 

And he had a, he has tools. 

00:07:47 Monica 

He went to school to be a mechanic and he was starting that program when he was doing this. 

00:07:53 Monica 

and he had a bunch of tools and he's like, you know what, mom, I think I could do this. 

00:07:56 Monica 

I'm like, what? 

00:07:58 Monica 

Why? 

00:07:58 Monica 

So he has a lot of that type of, you know, intelligence where he could figure it out without somebody telling him what to do. 

00:08:08 Monica 

Right. 

00:08:08 Monica 

Whereas if he's told what to do, it confuses him. 

00:08:12 Athena Cordero 

And I'm sure it gets frustrating. 

00:08:13 Monica 

It's like he could do it if he has like instructions, you know, he has the visual, he's more of a visual learner. 

00:08:18 Monica 

So 

00:08:19 Monica 

And things like that. 

00:08:20 Monica 

This is a good example of his potential, right? 

00:08:24 Monica 

He has been able to accomplish. 

00:08:26 Monica 

So kind of same when he was a little boy, he could figure things out without, verbal prompts. 

00:08:33 Monica 

So it's interesting. 

00:08:35 Athena Cordero 

Are your girls the same way? 

00:08:36 Monica 

My daughters are very visual, but very structured. 

00:08:41 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:08:42 Monica 

You know, one is, 

00:08:43 Monica 

I would say one's going to go to college, probably live on her own, the other one may not. 

00:08:48 Monica 

Okay, no. 

00:08:48 Monica 

She was on her certificate of completion. 

00:08:52 Monica 

Different levels of autism, but still in the visual realm and very structured. 

00:08:57 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:08:58 Monica 

It needs to be for them in a very, you know, we have to do it on a schedule. 

00:09:03 Athena Cordero 

Okay, gotcha. 

00:09:05 Monica 

They thrive on schedule. 

00:09:06 Athena Cordero 

So they need the consistent. 

00:09:09 Athena Cordero 

Absolutely. 

00:09:09 Athena Cordero 

Okay, I understand. 

00:09:10 Athena Cordero 

Gotcha. 

00:09:11 Monica 

Yeah, so like if you tell them you're gonna go somewhere, you say we're gonna go on Friday at two o'clock, they're ready at 1:30. 

00:09:19 Monica 

Gotcha. 

00:09:20 Monica 

They have their shoes on, they're ready to go. 

00:09:22 Monica 

You know, that's been them their whole lives. 

00:09:24 Monica 

And academically, very structured in-house beings play out. 

00:09:29 Monica 

So they need the calendar, they need the 

00:09:33 Monica 

consistency. 

00:09:34 Monica 

You know, if Mondays we talk about whether Tuesdays we talk about the day of the week and Thursday we talk about the month we're in, you know, they need that and it needs to be repetitive. 

00:09:46 Athena Cordero 

And that they find a sense of comfort in that. 

00:09:48 Monica 

Absolutely. 

00:09:48 Athena Cordero 

Wow. 

00:09:48 Athena Cordero 

Okay, awesome. 

00:09:49 Athena Cordero 

I mean, and kids need structure, period. 

00:09:52 Athena Cordero 

So I mean, and that's the reason, you know, you want to give them some comfort, but I can see how it turns into a 

00:10:00 Athena Cordero 

a comfort for other things. 

00:10:01 Athena Cordero 

if I can't control this, at least I know I have these things to look forward to, right? 

00:10:05 Athena Cordero 

And I'm sticking to that. 

00:10:07 Athena Cordero 

Okay, awesome. 

00:10:08 Athena Cordero 

So thanks for sharing. 

00:10:10 Athena Cordero 

Iván, what about you? 

00:10:11 Athena Cordero 

Tell me about your son. 

00:10:12 Ivan Campos 

So I have three boys and so my first two. 

00:10:16 Athena Cordero 

Three boys yeah I just realized that okay go. 

00:10:18 Ivan Campos 

Ahead and this is my youngest yeah I know so he's in high school now and so but with my oldest two school school was really easy for them you know they learned to read write math it was like easy for them right and then for my youngest I saw him struggling you know first grade second grade third grade with reading with math with you know those sight words 

00:10:41 Ivan Campos 

But then again, it's like, well, my wife's a teacher, you know, I work here. 

00:10:45 Ivan Campos 

We're thinking, oh, maybe we're not spending enough time with him. 

00:10:49 Ivan Campos 

But for him, he finally, you know, on his IEP, it was for dyslexia and also struggles with math, dyscalculia. 

00:10:58 Athena Cordero 

Say it again. 

00:10:59 Ivan Campos 

Dyscalculia. 

00:11:00 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:11:01 Ivan Campos 

You know, struggling with math and also the internal attention deficit. 

00:11:05 Ivan Campos 

So it's not outward, it's internally, and so for him, 

00:11:11 Ivan Campos 

You know, one of the things that he struggled with was I would say something to him and then he would say, what? 

00:11:19 Ivan Campos 

And I would be like, didn't you hear me? 

00:11:21 Athena Cordero 

Right. 

00:11:22 Ivan Campos 

He goes, what again? 

00:11:23 Ivan Campos 

And so through the assessments that they did at the school, we were able to determine that he actually could hear and has heard what we said, but he doesn't always know he heard it because his mind is somewhere else. 

00:11:34 Ivan Campos 

So then what I started to work with him on is giving them a prompt. 

00:11:39 Ivan Campos 

And then all of a sudden, boom, he tells me what I just said or remembers what we talked about earlier. 

00:11:44 Ivan Campos 

All you needed was a little prompt. 

00:11:46 Athena Cordero 

Gotcha. 

00:11:46 Ivan Campos 

That is for the attention piece, right? 

00:11:48 Ivan Campos 

And so if you think about children who maybe can't regulate their attention, 

00:11:54 Ivan Campos 

they're missing out on classroom instruction. 

00:11:55 Ivan Campos 

They're missing out on information that's being presented in class. 

00:11:59 Ivan Campos 

And so they may be sitting there in class and quiet, but not necessarily aware of everything that's happening or engaging. 

00:12:06 Ivan Campos 

And so they miss crucial instruction. 

00:12:08 Ivan Campos 

And then literacy kind of builds upon, it's like a... 

00:12:13 Ivan Campos 

a big skyscraper there's a foundation and it keeps building building building building they. 

00:12:17 Athena Cordero 

Missed that first part and come in in the middle and then don't get the last part of it it's really. 

00:12:22 Ivan Campos 

Difficult because in third grade you're not learning to read gotcha you've already learned to read you are working on uh literature is more of knowledge now you're imparting knowledge into yourself. 

00:12:33 Athena Cordero 

Give me an example Iván of a prompt you would use when you notice that he might have heard but not really 

00:12:40 Athena Cordero 

took in what you were saying. 

00:12:42 Ivan Campos 

So I'm going to use Monica's example of you said by 2 o'clock and then they're ready at 1 30 yeah so I had to break it down into steps and say okay so we're going to be going at 2 o'clock somewhere I need you to do this this this and this to be ready okay and then it's 155 and we're still not ready gotcha I'm still not ready I'm not a 130er I'm ready at the end right 

00:13:09 Ivan Campos 

That's just me, right? 

00:13:10 Ivan Campos 

I'm ready at the end. 

00:13:11 Athena Cordero 

He starts when you get there, Iván. 

00:13:13 Ivan Campos 

Sometimes, sometimes it's going on without me and that's okay. 

00:13:17 Ivan Campos 

And so then I would say to him, okay, so tell me, what did I ask you to do first? 

00:13:22 Ivan Campos 

Oh, you said this. 

00:13:23 Ivan Campos 

And then, oh, and then he names it. 

00:13:25 Ivan Campos 

And then, and then, so we, when he was younger, we had to work on that. 

00:13:29 Athena Cordero 

But now, is it, 

00:13:31 Athena Cordero 

is it is it like natural for you to do this and for him to respond that way? 

00:13:36 Ivan Campos 

No now now it's it's I think he's learned some skills to be able to maybe advocate for himself gotcha and then he'll say maybe oh dad I was distracted can you tell me again oh that's awesome instead of saying huh what okay which to a teacher can appear to be a student who is not wanting to participate distracted yeah maybe a kid who doesn't want to learn. 

00:13:57 Athena Cordero 

Okay so we're actually gonna I'm glad you you brought that up because it as a 

00:14:01 Athena Cordero 

I'm listening to you both. 

00:14:04 Athena Cordero 

And again, you've got 17 years experience with the IEP process, six as a parent of a child on an IEP. 

00:14:10 Athena Cordero 

You've got 20 years, Monica, three kids who've been on an IEP, okay? 

00:14:14 Athena Cordero 

We jumped straight into that, but take me back a little bit to, I hear you so comfortably talking about what their needs are, but what was that, I mean, Monica, you said it, you didn't realize that some of the things you were seeing at home 

00:14:29 Athena Cordero 

We're also transitioning into the classroom and being present there as well. 

00:14:34 Athena Cordero 

When did this even start? 

00:14:36 Athena Cordero 

When did you realize we need to see what's going on? 

00:14:39 Athena Cordero 

Maybe there's some test or assessment or questions I need to ask. 

00:14:44 Athena Cordero 

How did that present itself to you? 

00:14:46 Monica 

Well, I feel really fortunate because that actually started with the educator. 

00:14:53 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:14:54 Monica 

So their teacher. 

00:14:55 Monica 

Gotcha. 

00:14:55 Monica 

For my son, she asked me a very, very interesting question. 

00:15:01 Monica 

I had picked him up from school. 

00:15:02 Monica 

He was in, the first teacher who talked about this, he was in Head Start. 

00:15:08 Monica 

And he was like, it was like half Head Start, half daycare. 

00:15:11 Monica 

And she said, well, is there something maybe at home that you give him instruction to do that maybe he doesn't follow through with? 

00:15:22 Monica 

And I said, you know, 

00:15:24 Monica 

Actually, there is. 

00:15:25 Monica 

Every night, I tell him three different things to do before bed. 

00:15:29 Monica 

And sometimes he does one, sometimes he does two, sometimes he does the last one, sometimes he starts with the first one. 

00:15:36 Monica 

I don't know why, you know? 

00:15:38 Monica 

So he's just like, can you give me the instruction? 

00:15:40 Monica 

Yeah, actually, I'll say, go brush your teeth, put on your PJs, 

00:15:46 Monica 

and get in bed, get ready to read a book, because I used to always read. 

00:15:51 Monica 

That's the routine. 

00:15:52 Monica 

Yeah, it was a routine. 

00:15:53 Monica 

And I didn't think it was a big deal, to me. 

00:15:56 Monica 

Sometimes I would change the instruction. 

00:15:58 Monica 

I'd say, okay, make sure you throw out your trash, because sometimes he had trash in the room, so I'd make him pick up the trash. 

00:16:03 Monica 

It was just little things. 

00:16:04 Monica 

He was a little boy, three, four years old. 

00:16:07 Monica 

So I gave him little things to do, but he definitely struggled with it because he would do one. 

00:16:13 Monica 

Or sometimes I'd just find him in the shirt 

00:16:15 Monica 

and not the pants and brushing his teeth. 

00:16:19 Monica 

So it was always like half done or not done at all. 

00:16:24 Monica 

So that was something we talked about with the teacher. 

00:16:27 Monica 

I told her, yeah, it happens. 

00:16:29 Monica 

And she said, well, it could be that he's struggling with the instruction, auditory. 

00:16:34 Monica 

You're verbally giving him the prompt. 

00:16:36 Monica 

Have you tried writing it down so he could see it, put it up on the wall? 

00:16:41 Monica 

And I said, you know what, that's a great idea, let me try that. 

00:16:44 Monica 

And then she started to give me 

00:16:45 Monica 

little pictures for him. 

00:16:47 Monica 

So I had them like on a Velcro, kind of like they do in school. 

00:16:50 Monica 

I didn't know that was actually something happening in the class because she had picked up on. 

00:16:57 Athena Cordero 

So, and I, okay, I have to ask, right? 

00:17:00 Athena Cordero 

This sounds like whoever this was, whoever this educator was, found a way to come to you with something that she noticed and got you to open up about it at home. 

00:17:12 Athena Cordero 

I don't know how she did it. 

00:17:13 Athena Cordero 

I don't know what her tone was. 

00:17:14 Athena Cordero 

I don't know any of that, but I don't know that every parent or every educator had an experience as easy, you know, as smooth as that, because it's a difficult situation. 

00:17:25 Athena Cordero 

So, you know, I'm picturing even parents that I've worked with or myself. 

00:17:31 Athena Cordero 

I think it would be easier for me if someone came to me saying, hey, have you noticed? 

00:17:36 Athena Cordero 

instead of Athena in class is not following instructions. 

00:17:40 Athena Cordero 

I'm having trouble. 

00:17:41 Athena Cordero 

I'm assuming you're probably having trouble too. 

00:17:43 Athena Cordero 

You need to start, you know, X, Y, and Z. 

00:17:45 Athena Cordero 

That wouldn't land well, you know, on me. 

00:17:48 Athena Cordero 

Right. 

00:17:48 Athena Cordero 

But it sounds like whoever this was. 

00:17:51 Athena Cordero 

found a way to talk to you about it in a way that was putting your child first and to be helpful at home, which I think would make all the difference, especially in the situation. 

00:18:02 Athena Cordero 

Is that how you, was it easy or... 

00:18:08 Monica 

It felt like just a normal conversation. 

00:18:11 Monica 

And 2 adults talking about this child we're both interested in, right? 

00:18:14 Monica 

Because her interest as a teacher and mine as a parent, I didn't see it because of how she approached me. 

00:18:20 Monica 

I think if she would have approached me the way you're talking about, you know, like, hey, something's going on with him. 

00:18:25 Monica 

Right. 

00:18:25 Monica 

I mean, have you noticed he doesn't listen? 

00:18:27 Monica 

I mean, 

00:18:28 Monica 

I think if she would have approached me that way, I would have probably not been open to talk about what's happening at home. 

00:18:34 Monica 

But she was very subtle. 

00:18:36 Monica 

And so, I mean, she was the first one, I would say by second grade. 

00:18:40 Monica 

So he went to kindergarten, first grade, second grade. 

00:18:44 Monica 

His second grade teacher was just... 

00:18:47 Monica 

Amazing. 

00:18:48 Monica 

This woman was, I, woman, just, educator, woman, whatever you want to call her, she was amazing. 

00:18:55 Monica 

Wow. 

00:18:55 Monica 

She actually told me, you know, I kind of think we need to do some tests. 

00:19:01 Monica 

She's like, are you open to some tests? 

00:19:03 Monica 

I said, absolutely. 

00:19:04 Monica 

We talked about what happened when he was in Head Start and the things I would do at home to help him with instructions. 

00:19:11 Monica 

Because I started to get really good at drawing pictures. 

00:19:14 Athena Cordero 

Nice. 

00:19:15 Monica 

Or cutting out magazine things or, you know, finding things on the internet. 

00:19:19 Monica 

I'd print and be like, okay, this is a good picture to show him as an example. 

00:19:23 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:19:24 Monica 

Because he was a visual person. 

00:19:27 Athena Cordero 

So for you, 

00:19:29 Athena Cordero 

That was really the first step in, I think we need to work, like there's something else we have to work on here. 

00:19:38 Athena Cordero 

And it was at that point that you started looking out, okay, my kid's gonna need something extra. 

00:19:43 Monica 

Yeah. 

00:19:43 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:19:44 Athena Cordero 

And so not too much of a, it doesn't sound like a negative experience, but it did kind of help you get ready for what you knew could be some work, you know, some work at, okay. 

00:19:56 Athena Cordero 

Iván, what about you? 

00:19:57 Athena Cordero 

I don't know that it works out that way for everybody, but what was your experience with yours? 

00:20:01 Ivan Campos 

I think mine was more of the, every year you get the parent conference, the report cards, the progress notes, and so kindergarten, really no concerns in any area, but then first grade. 

00:20:17 Ivan Campos 

you know, they're not keeping up with the sight words or reading or rhyming or whatever the different things that they're taught for reading instruction in first grade. 

00:20:26 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:20:26 Ivan Campos 

And so then in the report card, it kept saying that his beginning of the year assessments were, you know, he was behind. 

00:20:34 Ivan Campos 

And so, but the teacher said, oh, he'll catch up. 

00:20:36 Ivan Campos 

You know, he's a boy was kind of the word used or the statement utilized. 

00:20:40 Ivan Campos 

And so. 

00:20:42 Ivan Campos 

Make sure you read with your child 20 minutes at home every day. 

00:20:45 Ivan Campos 

And so we did that. 

00:20:46 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:20:47 Ivan Campos 

Second grade, it was kind of the same. 

00:20:49 Ivan Campos 

And by that point, I think he got placed into a intervention, reading intervention program, or maybe he was being pulled out of the class in general education, not special ed. 

00:20:58 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:20:59 Ivan Campos 

Just to get some additional supports, but still it was that challenging for him. 

00:21:04 Ivan Campos 

And then we're reading, reading with him at home, but still not quite, you know, he's answering comprehension questions, 

00:21:11 Ivan Campos 

But if he has to read, he's really struggling, right? 

00:21:15 Ivan Campos 

And so as a parent, it was painful to sit with him and have him read to you second, third grade, right? 

00:21:20 Ivan Campos 

And so, but he had all the books, The Diary of a Wimpy Kid, all of those series of books that all the other kids had, and he wanted so hard to read them. 

00:21:30 Ivan Campos 

Yeah. 

00:21:30 Ivan Campos 

But it was hard to be like, wait. 

00:21:34 Ivan Campos 

why isn't he able to and then my wife would say maybe we're not spending enough time with him maybe we're not doing this maybe it's something we didn't do you know it's kind of that well maybe he just needs more time and so it's this kind of flux but in my situation there was not a teacher that said hey you know there's something more going on it was more of 

00:21:57 Ivan Campos 

I requested assessments to determine whether he had a need for special ed or not. 

00:22:03 Athena Cordero 

Did you know, I know you said 17 years experience and you had some experience with special education before even this, you know, going on with your son. 

00:22:12 Athena Cordero 

Did you know at that time to ask for an assessment? 

00:22:16 Ivan Campos 

I need to ask. 

00:22:17 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:22:17 Ivan Campos 

And so when I did ask, 

00:22:21 Ivan Campos 

I was basically redirected to have an SST, a student study team, and told that they haven't done any interventions with him. 

00:22:31 Ivan Campos 

So I reminded the person who called me on the phone to discuss my request that you have three years worth of data from all the intervention groups he's been in. 

00:22:41 Ivan Campos 

I'm requesting an assessment, then I look forward to receiving the assessment plan or a letter telling me that you're not going to assess. 

00:22:49 Ivan Campos 

So I received one. 

00:22:50 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:22:52 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:22:53 Ivan Campos 

And it was kind of, that's kind of set the, I guess, the stage for the first few years. 

00:22:58 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:22:59 Athena Cordero 

Okay, so after assessment, right, Monica, you're shaking your head. 

00:23:05 Athena Cordero 

I want you guys to just help me understand. 

00:23:09 Athena Cordero 

You've gone through now the assessment process and here we are. 

00:23:12 Athena Cordero 

This is what it is. 

00:23:14 Athena Cordero 

What's the initial reaction, you know, to that? 

00:23:17 Athena Cordero 

How do you, 

00:23:18 Athena Cordero 

How do you respond? 

00:23:22 Monica 

I had a lot of emotions around this, 'cause this is also around the time my daughters, my two younger ones were being diagnosed with autism. 

00:23:29 Monica 

So it's kind of like a big wave of emotions. 

00:23:32 Monica 

I was a really young mom. 

00:23:33 Monica 

I had all three of my kids by the time I was 26, so very young. 

00:23:37 Monica 

And then I didn't know anybody who had gone through or was going through what I was going through at the time, so I didn't have anybody to grab onto to support me, so I relied heavily 

00:23:47 Monica 

on the educators. 

00:23:49 Monica 

I did. 

00:23:49 Monica 

I relied on the district I was at and I got to say they were amazing. 

00:23:53 Monica 

They were amazing. 

00:23:56 Monica 

Every person answered every question I had, you know, they walked me through that process. 

00:24:02 Monica 

Yeah, it's just a lot of emotion around that. 

00:24:06 Athena Cordero 

Iván, would you agree? 

00:24:09 Ivan Campos 

I would say that there's definitely a lot of emotions around this process. 

00:24:14 Ivan Campos 

To me, it reminds me of a 

00:24:16 Ivan Campos 

model it's a grief cycle by kuber ross and the first stage is denial and so for me for a while let's just wait and see let's just wait and see but then once that once the iep meeting was held he was determined eligible under you know an area of disability one of the 13 then it was more of well anger now about well what we how come we didn't catch it we're both educators 

00:24:42 Ivan Campos 

How come we didn't get them tutoring? 

00:24:43 Ivan Campos 

How come we didn't ask for this sooner? 

00:24:45 Ivan Campos 

So now it's kind of angry at yourself for not having done something that you should have known to do. 

00:24:52 Ivan Campos 

Perhaps. 

00:24:53 Athena Cordero 

Well, I was just gonna say maybe maybe no maybe not necessarily And every kid already is different in their own way no matter what. 

00:25:02 Ivan Campos 

If I may for a second So when it was confirmed that he did have a disability, it's almost like his whole life Sorry, his whole life flashed in front of me Yeah, and then I was thinking oh my goodness. 

00:25:13 Ivan Campos 

How is he gonna be able to do this? 

00:25:15 Ivan Campos 

How is what about work? 

00:25:16 Ivan Campos 

What about? 

00:25:18 Ivan Campos 

functions of life i see you agree and it just flashes before you and it kind of you get kind of frozen in that and then you get this i'm getting kind of catharsis right now this just emotion my body's kind of reacting right now but you kind of just be like what are we gonna do how are we gonna get through this it's this very it's like a fear and. 

00:25:39 Athena Cordero 

Anger denial paralyzing like it kind of stops you in your. 

00:25:44 Ivan Campos 

Tracks and even talking about it I'm kind of reliving it yeah to a degree yeah. 

00:25:49 Monica 

Yeah I agree with him I mean it's it's such a um it's a it's a whirlwind a whirlwind of feelings okay that we go through you know um I I don't know if I experienced quite the denial part my husband did okay his his side was more denial it was 

00:26:08 Monica 

especially when the girls were being diagnosed, because this happened through regional. 

00:26:13 Monica 

The IEP was a little different for them than it was for my son. 

00:26:18 Athena Cordero 

So, sorry, explain that to me. 

00:26:19 Athena Cordero 

You said it was different, it was through regional. 

00:26:21 Athena Cordero 

What do you mean? 

00:26:21 Monica 

So their diagnosis happened. 

00:26:24 Monica 

I found out that they had autism through regional, right? 

00:26:27 Monica 

So it was a little different, the panel of people making a determination about the child's disability, right? 

00:26:37 Monica 

Whereas with my son, it wasn't a panel of people, it was suspicion from an educator. 

00:26:43 Monica 

So it was a little different. 

00:26:44 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:26:44 Ivan Campos 

So the regional center, I think that's what you're referring to? 

00:26:47 Monica 

Yes. 

00:26:48 Ivan Campos 

So they support students or children zero to three? 

00:26:52 Ivan Campos 

And then once they turn three years old, on the day they turn three years old, then if they still need support services, then it's done through the school. 

00:27:01 Ivan Campos 

And then they have to now be reassessed at the school level. 

00:27:05 Athena Cordero 

Gotcha. 

00:27:05 Ivan Campos 

And so, but also regional centers will support certain disabilities, depending on the severity, way beyond school age. 

00:27:14 Athena Cordero 

Okay, so I mean, I can't even imagine. 

00:27:17 Athena Cordero 

I know though, I mean, I'm a parent, I have two kids. 

00:27:20 Athena Cordero 

You start planning for them the moment you know you're gonna have them. 

00:27:24 Athena Cordero 

Right. 

00:27:24 Athena Cordero 

I mean, you kind of plan out what you hope happens. 

00:27:28 Athena Cordero 

So I'm listening to you guys thinking in that moment, that plan just, 

00:27:36 Athena Cordero 

you still wonder what, now what? 

00:27:39 Athena Cordero 

what's the plan going to be moving forward? 

00:27:41 Athena Cordero 

But no matter what the plan is, you still want the best for your kids. 

00:27:45 Athena Cordero 

I mean, as a parent, of course. 

00:27:46 Athena Cordero 

And so I appreciate you bringing up the stages of grief. 

00:27:52 Athena Cordero 

You do have to work through those emotions and those feelings. 

00:27:55 Athena Cordero 

It sounds like, Monica, that you had to rely heavily on 

00:27:59 Athena Cordero 

Educators Iván, did you have family support, you know education? 

00:28:04 Athena Cordero 

I know you and your wife were in education, but who helped who kind of walked with you guys So I. 

00:28:08 Ivan Campos 

Ended up relying on just colleagues. 

00:28:10 Ivan Campos 

Okay from where I had worked in the district that I worked at for some support With just hey, this is the assessment. 

00:28:18 Ivan Campos 

They gave me. 

00:28:19 Ivan Campos 

I'm I'm not I'm not This is not my area of expertise. 

00:28:23 Ivan Campos 

Can you take a look at it and give me your thoughts? 

00:28:26 Ivan Campos 

Like what's good about it? 

00:28:27 Ivan Campos 

What is it missing? 

00:28:30 Ivan Campos 

It was just, I relied on colleagues and my spouse. 

00:28:34 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:28:35 Athena Cordero 

So I don't want to leave, the kids out of this, too. 

00:28:40 Athena Cordero 

They don't know, of course, the plans their parents are making for them, really. 

00:28:47 Athena Cordero 

But in your situation, both of you, do your kids know what the diagnosis is, what it is, what challenge or what need they have? 

00:28:56 Athena Cordero 

Can they name it? 

00:28:57 Athena Cordero 

How do you talk about it? 

00:28:59 Athena Cordero 

How did that come up in your families for them? 

00:29:03 Monica 

Well, for my son, he acknowledges it. 

00:29:06 Monica 

He does. 

00:29:08 Monica 

But I believe for kids, it's a little different. 

00:29:11 Monica 

They want to be included, right? 

00:29:14 Monica 

And so if they're being pulled out for speech, let's just say, or occupational therapy or whatever service they have within their IEP, 

00:29:23 Monica 

they feel left out from the general class, right, from their peers. 

00:29:28 Monica 

And so it's hard for them to accept it. 

00:29:30 Monica 

It really is. 

00:29:31 Monica 

I had, you know, one that accepted it wholeheartedly and said, okay, you know, this is what I have and I'm going to move this way with my life. 

00:29:40 Monica 

And then I have another one who just doesn't acknowledge it at all, you know, and then the other one just, 

00:29:47 Monica 

accepted it recently, where it's like, okay, I acknowledge, yes, maybe there, but she says it caused a lot of turmoil for her in school, specifically junior high and high school, because that's where they develop ideas and their characters, their identities, and they're trying to figure out who they are, as people. 

00:30:09 Monica 

And of course, they're trying to fit in, you know, like anybody. 

00:30:13 Monica 

So she has vocalized that. 

00:30:16 Monica 

She didn't feel included, you know, that she felt like she was an oddball. 

00:30:20 Monica 

And it was hard to hear as a parent. 

00:30:23 Monica 

Yeah, I bet. 

00:30:24 Monica 

As a parent sitting in that car when she was talking about it and her emotions, I had a hard time that day, you know, just, but I can only imagine what she went through. 

00:30:34 Monica 

All those years, she didn't tell me, right, she kept it. 

00:30:38 Monica 

So it's just tough moments, but I think once they accept it, it's easier for them. 

00:30:46 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:30:47 Monica 

Yeah. 

00:30:47 Athena Cordero 

Iván. 

00:30:50 Ivan Campos 

About it my wife and I in front of him so we wanted him not to I guess identify with that disability or be it so that that's what we're focused on we wanted him to develop as a human and not be a label right I just remembered he my son also had OT services because he couldn't write and so that added to the frustration with writing dyslexia all that but going along with what you were saying Monica about 

00:31:18 Ivan Campos 

Once they're pulled out to a separate class to receive some type of service, my son would tell me, and he was probably 3rd or 4th grade, he would say, dad, I'm going to that class again. 

00:31:26 Ivan Campos 

They take me every day and we do stuff. 

00:31:30 Ivan Campos 

But then when I come back to my class, then the teacher wants me to catch up on everything that I missed. 

00:31:35 Ivan Campos 

And how come not all the kids are going there? 

00:31:37 Ivan Campos 

How come it's just these kids? 

00:31:39 Ivan Campos 

Yeah. 

00:31:40 Ivan Campos 

And we're like, well, they're just providing you extra support. 

00:31:43 Ivan Campos 

You know, they're there to help you. 

00:31:44 Ivan Campos 

You know, remember, you've done tutoring before. 

00:31:46 Ivan Campos 

Am I somewhat like, no, this is different. 

00:31:48 Ivan Campos 

Like he knew something, but we really didn't want to, I guess, maybe acknowledge as a parent. 

00:31:54 Ivan Campos 

Maybe it's part of that denial that I spoke to earlier. 

00:31:58 Ivan Campos 

And maybe I'm still kind of bargaining. 

00:31:59 Ivan Campos 

That's one of the other stages where I'm kind of bargaining the should I, should I not, you know, am I okay with this, me as the parent? 

00:32:07 Ivan Campos 

And so 

00:32:08 Ivan Campos 

We kind of didn't talk about it. 

00:32:10 Ivan Campos 

And eventually, I think when he was 11 or 12, he's watching something on YouTube, and then he says to me, Dad, I have that. 

00:32:18 Ivan Campos 

And it was something about dyslexia on a YouTube commercial or something, or maybe a program that somehow randomly showed up on our TV. 

00:32:25 Ivan Campos 

And he goes, I think I have that. 

00:32:27 Ivan Campos 

Dad, I have that. 

00:32:28 Ivan Campos 

And I said, How do you know that? 

00:32:30 Ivan Campos 

And he goes, Did you hear your mom and I talking about it? 

00:32:32 Ivan Campos 

He goes, No, I know it, because the way that that person, that's me. 

00:32:37 Ivan Campos 

I have the same. 

00:32:38 Ivan Campos 

Wow. 

00:32:38 Ivan Campos 

I struggle with this. 

00:32:39 Ivan Campos 

I struggle with that. 

00:32:40 Ivan Campos 

And so now that he's in high school, just recently, he said to me, dad, you know, I realized that I get distracted in my mind. 

00:32:51 Ivan Campos 

I start thinking about other things, and then I forget what I'm working on. 

00:32:56 Ivan Campos 

And so I said, so think about some of those strategies that you've learned. 

00:33:00 Ivan Campos 

Maybe you need a timer to help you stay focused on how much time, give yourself X amount of time to do certain homework or certain studying. 

00:33:08 Ivan Campos 

But I also told myself, even adults, even myself, even others, we all get distracted. 

00:33:13 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:33:14 Ivan Campos 

So it's not necessarily something that... 

00:33:17 Ivan Campos 

maybe you should be so afraid of, but just maybe find ways to, and he catches himself and he goes, I'm sorry, dad, I wasn't paying attention. 

00:33:27 Ivan Campos 

And I'm thinking to myself, maybe I do that too sometimes, but I don't have the label. 

00:33:32 Ivan Campos 

But yet for him, he knows, he knows, and he attends his IEP meetings. 

00:33:37 Ivan Campos 

And I think we started him attending in the 6th grade. 

00:33:40 Ivan Campos 

And at the very recent one, 

00:33:43 Ivan Campos 

He was advocating for himself. 

00:33:45 Ivan Campos 

He was participating, given thoughts and opinions about, we were asking him for his input because this is something, again, going back to the word disability, I think it needs to be talked about so that he knows what his strengths and weaknesses are so he can leverage from all the tools that he's learned how to move forward with his life. 

00:34:06 Athena Cordero 

So you bring up that your son 

00:34:09 Athena Cordero 

sat in the IEP meetings in there. 

00:34:11 Athena Cordero 

Let's talk about the IEP meeting. 

00:34:13 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:34:14 Athena Cordero 

Because again, I mean, it's not it's not going to look the same for everybody. 

00:34:20 Athena Cordero 

And for again, just for our listeners, the IEP meeting itself is just a discussion with the team. 

00:34:27 Athena Cordero 

Iván, you mentioned that earlier, a team of folks from the school. 

00:34:31 Athena Cordero 

And what they're doing is 

00:34:34 Athena Cordero 

creating a plan, reviewing a plan for the child's special education services, right? 

00:34:39 Athena Cordero 

What's going to work best for Athena? 

00:34:40 Athena Cordero 

What's going to work best for Iván? 

00:34:42 Athena Cordero 

And parents attend. 

00:34:44 Athena Cordero 

Who else attends? 

00:34:46 Monica 

So it could be an administrator from the school, the teachers, the speech pathologist, if that's a service, or occupational therapist, anybody who's 

00:34:57 Monica 

basically in a render a service, okay, of some nature is involved. 

00:35:01 Ivan Campos 

And then I would add that also families have the right to invite a friend, a family member, even other agencies to attend with them. 

00:35:10 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:35:11 Athena Cordero 

And the child, yes. 

00:35:14 Ivan Campos 

At certain ages, I think it's appropriate. 

00:35:16 Athena Cordero 

What, now I don't know the rule and we're not going to get into that part of it, okay? 

00:35:20 Athena Cordero 

But for you all, when were you comfortable with your kids sitting in, if they did it all? 

00:35:25 Ivan Campos 

I think for us, it was for when he started identifying himself. 

00:35:31 Ivan Campos 

Yeah. 

00:35:32 Ivan Campos 

That's where it clued us in that, okay, he's aware. 

00:35:34 Ivan Campos 

He wants to know, he's asking about being pulled out, working with this person, that person. 

00:35:40 Ivan Campos 

Now he's like, how come the other kids don't have it? 

00:35:43 Ivan Campos 

Where does, who decided that? 

00:35:45 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:35:45 Ivan Campos 

So I'm like, are you ready to come to your first IEP meeting? 

00:35:48 Ivan Campos 

Yeah. 

00:35:48 Ivan Campos 

He goes, okay. 

00:35:51 Ivan Campos 

So he came, he came and he sat and watched the first year. 

00:35:54 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:35:54 Ivan Campos 

And then after that, he started to become more involved and advocating for his needs as well. 

00:36:00 Athena Cordero 

What about your kids, Marca? 

00:36:01 Monica 

Very different. 

00:36:02 Monica 

Yeah. 

00:36:03 Monica 

For our dynamic, I think it varies on the child, right? 

00:36:09 Monica 

I never saw any interest from them to find out the why behind it all. 

00:36:15 Monica 

Other than I just don't like to go to speech. 

00:36:18 Monica 

My middle child would always talk about that class. 

00:36:20 Monica 

I don't know why they don't like speech, but she didn't like speech. 

00:36:25 Monica 

But yeah, I would say my son when he was in high school. 

00:36:29 Monica 

It was more about like, okay, well, I think it's time now. 

00:36:33 Monica 

I had a conversation. 

00:36:34 Monica 

Again, he had no interest in going, right? 

00:36:36 Monica 

He knew these meetings would happen. 

00:36:39 Monica 

and that his math would be altered or he had maybe less work than the other students because of his challenge. 

00:36:46 Monica 

So he knew those parts, right? 

00:36:48 Monica 

Maybe in his mind, he thought, oh, I'm just getting it easier, right? 

00:36:52 Monica 

Maybe that's what he was thinking. 

00:36:54 Monica 

I don't know. 

00:36:54 Monica 

Can't think for, can't talk for him. 

00:36:57 Monica 

But when he was in high school, I said, I think it's time for you to come to a meeting. 

00:37:02 Monica 

What do you think? 

00:37:03 Monica 

And he was like, why? 

00:37:06 Monica 

do I have to go? 

00:37:07 Ivan Campos 

Right. 

00:37:08 Monica 

He had a more reluctancy. 

00:37:10 Ivan Campos 

I also want to give credit to a case carrier who in middle school really saw a lot of potential in him. 

00:37:16 Ivan Campos 

And so I remember she would meet with him and give him a copy of his accommodations because, you know, he was taking a couple of special ed classes and then the rest were general ed. 

00:37:28 Ivan Campos 

And so for him to also, one of his goals was to advocate for his needs because he wasn't. 

00:37:34 Ivan Campos 

It's still that part of the process. 

00:37:36 Ivan Campos 

they're developing and they're growing. 

00:37:38 Ivan Campos 

They want to be just like their peers. 

00:37:39 Ivan Campos 

They don't want to ask questions for things to be repeated to them. 

00:37:43 Ivan Campos 

So we had to do the IEP, find ways to have the information presented in different ways. 

00:37:49 Ivan Campos 

You mentioned visuals earlier, right? 

00:37:51 Ivan Campos 

So maybe there's a visual in the class that may be a reminder of what we're working on instead of somebody raising their hand, right? 

00:37:57 Ivan Campos 

And so 

00:37:58 Ivan Campos 

This teacher really, case carer really supported him with growing in that area and having him be more aware of himself and also aware of how he can advocate in other classes for himself in terms of asking for some of those accommodations. 

00:38:15 Ivan Campos 

Maybe I need more time on an assignment. 

00:38:16 Ivan Campos 

Maybe I need more 

00:38:19 Ivan Campos 

maybe I need some notes, just depending on the situation. 

00:38:22 Athena Cordero 

So Ivor, I have to ask because I would imagine, and correct me, okay, if I'm wrong, that he was... 

00:38:29 Athena Cordero 

He got to a point where he was able to do that, partly because he's got some parents who maybe speak in those ways or suggest you should ask that. 

00:38:40 Athena Cordero 

You should see what they say. 

00:38:41 Athena Cordero 

Tell them that you don't particularly like this. 

00:38:44 Ivan Campos 

Yeah, we did. 

00:38:44 Ivan Campos 

We did. 

00:38:47 Athena Cordero 

I know you, we work together, so I could see you modeling that for him. 

00:38:51 Athena Cordero 

But I mean, in a meeting with educators, teachers who are 

00:38:58 Athena Cordero 

maybe more educated than the parents in the room. 

00:39:01 Athena Cordero 

And a child who's coming to an IEP for the first time, that could be overwhelming. 

00:39:06 Monica 

I think it is. 

00:39:07 Athena Cordero 

Emotional. 

00:39:09 Athena Cordero 

For those who don't, maybe have someone who can prompt and model and give them things to advocate for themselves. 

00:39:16 Athena Cordero 

What do you do? 

00:39:17 Athena Cordero 

What would you say someone should do if they don't fully understand what's being said in an IEP? 

00:39:22 Athena Cordero 

if they feel like they're sitting there listening to something that's going on that doesn't have everything to do with them when it really does, what do you suggest for someone who might feel like that? 

00:39:32 Athena Cordero 

Because I would think even for an adult, your first go-to is just to stay quiet and hurry up and get it over with, right? 

00:39:39 Athena Cordero 

And then you walk out going, what just happened? 

00:39:41 Ivan Campos 

And then you have this fear of not agreeing, because if you don't agree with what's presented to you, then 

00:39:47 Ivan Campos 

your child is not going to get the help. 

00:39:49 Athena Cordero 

Right. 

00:39:50 Ivan Campos 

And so now, but you're like, but okay, I like, I agree with this part of the IEP, but maybe with not this part, but then how do I communicate that? 

00:40:01 Ivan Campos 

Or how do I advocate for my son or so that he can get the services and support that he needs? 

00:40:07 Ivan Campos 

And so it's this weird kind of, you have to kind of either invite somebody with you or maybe ask the team for, 

00:40:15 Ivan Campos 

Help me understand what this test you're talking about. 

00:40:18 Ivan Campos 

I know you showed the scores on the piece of paper with me. 

00:40:21 Ivan Campos 

You shared a chart, but I really don't know what phonemic awareness is. 

00:40:25 Ivan Campos 

Can you tell me what that is? 

00:40:27 Ivan Campos 

Explain it to me in a way that I can understand. 

00:40:30 Ivan Campos 

But it's sometimes in some cultures, it's we respect the professional where we accept their word. 

00:40:38 Ivan Campos 

In other cultures, we challenge it. 

00:40:41 Ivan Campos 

And then there's others that, it's a mix of two, right? 

00:40:44 Athena Cordero 

And so, yes, Ivonne, and I'm, like I said, you guys are seasoned, okay, in this process. 

00:40:51 Athena Cordero 

And we're talking about it today, but I know that, I know folks who've sat in an IEP meeting and they've gotten there at a point where they are hot. 

00:41:00 Athena Cordero 

You know, like it is, I've been through some things. 

00:41:03 Athena Cordero 

I've been asking questions. 

00:41:05 Athena Cordero 

maybe it's not that they weren't given what they should have been given. 

00:41:10 Athena Cordero 

It's just the it's the frustration from this morning. 

00:41:13 Athena Cordero 

It doesn't feel like it. 

00:41:14 Athena Cordero 

doesn't feel like it. 

00:41:15 Athena Cordero 

So now I'm sitting here. 

00:41:16 Athena Cordero 

I don't know what you're talking about. 

00:41:18 Athena Cordero 

You're using words I've never heard before. 

00:41:20 Athena Cordero 

My kid's frustrated. 

00:41:22 Athena Cordero 

I'm frustrated. 

00:41:23 Athena Cordero 

What am I supposed to do? 

00:41:25 Athena Cordero 

You know, like that parent who's in that, like at their wit's end and they're sitting here now with something so important in front of them. 

00:41:32 Athena Cordero 

What's a good, what's a good strategy or a good, 

00:41:36 Athena Cordero 

pause for them so that they don't walk away feeling like great I don't even know what I just agreed to I'm not happy with this because that can happen you want emotions get the best of you what would you suggest just to help them in that moment you know to just come to please help me with this that's hard to do it's hard to ask for help even when you're in a good mood sometimes my. 

00:41:57 Ivan Campos 

My recommendation would be to take the IEP home okay and review it with others at home with other people that you 

00:42:05 Ivan Campos 

You can, other colleagues or other folks that maybe have more experience with IEPs, and then take your time to sign it, make sure you understand the document. 

00:42:15 Ivan Campos 

When I was a case carrier and I noticed that a family that was there at the IEP meeting where I noticed their body language was telling me they were uneasy, and I would always say, take this home with you. 

00:42:27 Ivan Campos 

I don't want you to feel pressure to sign it. 

00:42:29 Ivan Campos 

Review it, if you have any questions about anything that's on there, 

00:42:33 Ivan Campos 

you have my phone number, you have my e-mail address, reach out. 

00:42:35 Ivan Campos 

I want to be able to explain it to you. 

00:42:38 Ivan Campos 

And I know it's a lot of words, it's all a lot of lingo in there that is educational lingo, but at the end of the day, don't sign it if you're not comfortable. 

00:42:46 Ivan Campos 

That's what I would say to families, and that's the same thing I would tell families that I was the case carer for. 

00:42:53 Athena Cordero 

You look like you've got a little bit different perspective. 

00:42:56 Monica 

I do, from the parents' side, the other side of the table. 

00:43:01 Monica 

And no offense to anyone, right? 

00:43:03 Monica 

I mean, that is the idealistic approach, right? 

00:43:08 Monica 

That's idealistic. 

00:43:09 Monica 

Is it what happens? 

00:43:11 Monica 

No. 

00:43:13 Monica 

I would probably say from the parents' perspective, say, 

00:43:17 Monica 

If it's making you feel a certain way, right? 

00:43:20 Monica 

You're like you said, you're hot, you're heated, you're passionate about what's being said, you're not understanding, you're overwhelmed. 

00:43:27 Monica 

I think it's time to take a pause. 

00:43:29 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:43:29 Monica 

Get up respectfully and say, you know, respectfully say, you know, right now, all of this may be a lot. 

00:43:38 Monica 

If we can maybe have a second part to this IEP meeting, because some people think 

00:43:43 Monica 

An IEP meeting has to be within that time, within that one hour they gave you, and it doesn't have to. 

00:43:50 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:43:50 Monica 

I've had IEPs that have been four parts. 

00:43:52 Athena Cordero 

Wow, I didn't realize that. 

00:43:54 Monica 

Okay. 

00:43:55 Monica 

And that's because there's things within the IEP that I did not agree with. 

00:43:59 Monica 

Okay. 

00:43:59 Monica 

Because right at the end, I got more savvy, you know, and I got more assertive with certain things that I felt were more important to me as a parent for my child at school, you know? 

00:44:13 Monica 

You're your child's best advocate. 

00:44:16 Monica 

I don't care how many people you have with you. 

00:44:20 Monica 

can have everyone. 

00:44:21 Monica 

You can have the President of the United States sitting next to you, but you are your child's best advocate. 

00:44:26 Monica 

And I will say, take a pause, maybe get up, you know, excuse yourself, restroom break, something to calm you down. 

00:44:34 Monica 

If after that you still feel it, then it's time to do maybe the second part of that. 

00:44:39 Monica 

I want to add. 

00:44:40 Ivan Campos 

To something you said, Monica, that 

00:44:42 Ivan Campos 

the pause, right? 

00:44:44 Ivan Campos 

And from me as a parent, I was afraid of the pause because then we wouldn't get through to it and get to the end. 

00:44:51 Ivan Campos 

And now we're going to hold back the services. 

00:44:55 Ivan Campos 

But I know they're not going to schedule for another few weeks, the next one. 

00:44:58 Ivan Campos 

And so 

00:44:59 Ivan Campos 

I want to give my kid the support he needs now. 

00:45:02 Athena Cordero 

You know what, though? 

00:45:03 Ivan Campos 

And so I'm kind of balancing the two, right? 

00:45:05 Ivan Campos 

At least from my parent perspective, right? 

00:45:07 Athena Cordero 

I appreciate both of your perspectives right now, because this is how I'm listening to it. 

00:45:12 Athena Cordero 

As an educator in that room, now you've given me something to look for. 

00:45:16 Athena Cordero 

If someone needs to walk out, take a minute, get a drink of water, I'm going to offer you the drink of water, let you know where the restroom is. 

00:45:23 Athena Cordero 

if it looks like you're panicking a little bit because we're not coming up with the solution, I'm going to try to reframe the conversation. 

00:45:30 Athena Cordero 

So I guess what I would say is for educators listening right now is you really have to facilitate, it's the facilitation part and knowing how to reframe and how to stop and come back to it. 

00:45:42 Athena Cordero 

So your feelings about it are helpful. 

00:45:45 Athena Cordero 

And any parent that's at this, they have a right to their own feelings about it. 

00:45:49 Athena Cordero 

So I appreciate you guys sharing that. 

00:45:51 Athena Cordero 

That's good advice for 

00:45:53 Athena Cordero 

the educators in the room, especially when it's a team effort. 

00:45:57 Athena Cordero 

I want to talk a little bit about the systems of support, just things that you can go to for help. 

00:46:03 Athena Cordero 

And the first thing I want to draw attention to is the fact that we here at CAHELP, we're part of Desert Mountain SELPA. 

00:46:10 Athena Cordero 

Iván, can you give us just a general description of what a SELPA is? 

00:46:14 Athena Cordero 

And I know that's asking for a lot. 

00:46:16 Ivan Campos 

So SELPA stands for Special Education Local Plan Area. 

00:46:20 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:46:20 Ivan Campos 

And so they're unique to California. 

00:46:23 Ivan Campos 

Once IDEA was initiated back 50 years ago, California developed a system to support school districts. 

00:46:32 Ivan Campos 

And this, sorry, there could be something called a single district SELPA, which is 1 district, and the SELPA is just for that district. 

00:46:40 Ivan Campos 

Or you can have multi-district SELPAs, like there's a mountain SELPA where there's many of the, sorry, all of the school districts up in the high desert are part of that. 

00:46:50 Ivan Campos 

So it's a consortium of school districts 

00:46:53 Ivan Campos 

in which the SELPA supports those districts with special ed programming, professional development, compliance, meaning IEPs on time, you know, the goals are appropriate, timeline pieces. 

00:47:07 Ivan Campos 

Also, we support with instructional practices. 

00:47:11 Ivan Campos 

Maybe we're coaching a teacher through a process. 

00:47:14 Ivan Campos 

We're helping develop programs. 

00:47:16 Ivan Campos 

And also when IEPs sometimes 

00:47:18 Ivan Campos 

don't go the way we expect them to. 

00:47:20 Ivan Campos 

We also, parents can reach out to those help of our support. 

00:47:24 Ivan Campos 

And then we're able to hear them out and maybe relay the information back to the director with their permission and then try to work towards resolving. 

00:47:34 Ivan Campos 

And so sometimes. 

00:47:35 Ivan Campos 

part of my, the SELPA role could be to facilitate an IP meeting or mediate a meeting. 

00:47:40 Ivan Campos 

Gotcha. 

00:47:41 Ivan Campos 

And then this particular SELPA has other services such as mental health, has an outreach team, also has a prevention and intervention team. 

00:47:49 Ivan Campos 

And then they also have a continuing technical education team for students past high school. 

00:47:56 Ivan Campos 

Yeah. 

00:47:56 Ivan Campos 

So it's more than special ed here. 

00:47:58 Ivan Campos 

Yes. 

00:47:59 Ivan Campos 

And they're all SELPAs are unique across the state. 

00:48:02 Athena Cordero 

They are. 

00:48:02 Athena Cordero 

And so you did that in just a couple minutes. 

00:48:05 Athena Cordero 

You did great. 

00:48:06 Athena Cordero 

There's so much. 

00:48:07 Athena Cordero 

There is so much that can be offered through a SELPA. 

00:48:11 Athena Cordero 

And so just to give a just a general idea in case somebody had questions. 

00:48:15 Athena Cordero 

Of course, they can call and we could help them more with that. 

00:48:18 Ivan Campos 

And the parent procedural rights, they're given this document that explains the rights. 

00:48:22 Ivan Campos 

The SELPA's phone number, contact information is within that document at the very end. 

00:48:27 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:48:27 Ivan Campos 

And so we receive phone calls from families reaching out for support and they come to the program specialist or someone else. 

00:48:36 Athena Cordero 

We also have a question and answers pamphlet that's available on the CAHELP website. 

00:48:44 Athena Cordero 

And so if you just went on there and searched resources for parents and families, or if you put in there question and answer special education, the pamphlet would pop up and there's some questions, answers in there. 

00:48:56 Athena Cordero 

The same thing kind of what we were talking about, what's a SELPA, what's an IEP, but it does give some very good information and it has contact information in there as well for those of you who want to take a look at that. 

00:49:07 Athena Cordero 

Those are some of the technical things, right, that we have we can offer. 

00:49:11 Athena Cordero 

What about you guys like individually? 

00:49:13 Athena Cordero 

What is a 

00:49:14 Athena Cordero 

support that you say helped you through the 20 years, the 17 or six years you know with your son. 

00:49:21 Athena Cordero 

What was a go-to for you? 

00:49:24 Monica 

I think for me, definitely relying, like I said, on the educators. 

00:49:29 Monica 

Some of them became my friends. 

00:49:31 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:49:31 Monica 

So I'm still friends with them now. 

00:49:34 Monica 

So, you know, that I can reach out to them in a candid manner, ask questions. 

00:49:40 Monica 

I mean, obviously without stepping on anybody's toes, right? 

00:49:44 Monica 

I'm asking from parent to teacher about XYZ happening with my son or daughter, you know? 

00:49:51 Monica 

That was always really, really great for me. 

00:49:53 Monica 

Also, my mom. 

00:49:55 Monica 

I mean, 

00:49:57 Monica 

even though she didn't know what an IEP was, she definitely was somebody that I could rely on, call her, venting, all of the things that we go through after an IEP. 

00:50:08 Monica 

If it went well or it didn't go well, you know, she was the person that I would call. 

00:50:11 Monica 

So shout out, man. 

00:50:13 Monica 

Yeah, very supportive. 

00:50:14 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:50:15 Athena Cordero 

What about you, Iván? 

00:50:16 Ivan Campos 

I think it would, you know, my spouse and then friends and colleagues and, you know, along the way there were some case carriers, some school staff that were really helpful, that were really, 

00:50:26 Ivan Campos 

understanding or very helpful to kind of help process as well. 

00:50:32 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:50:32 Ivan Campos 

And those ones, what stood out to me is that they identified maybe what the parent may be going through. 

00:50:39 Ivan Campos 

And so they offered, hey, you know, if you ever need to talk, but also they had an open channel of communication. 

00:50:46 Ivan Campos 

They made sure that it wasn't the one way where you come to the meeting and they're sharing with you, but it was a two-way dialogue. 

00:50:55 Athena Cordero 

And so I would imagine that in some cases, I don't need to talk about what's really on the plan. 

00:51:02 Athena Cordero 

You know, I get it. 

00:51:04 Athena Cordero 

I need somebody to hear me say, you know, like that was a lot. 

00:51:09 Athena Cordero 

It was a lot to sit down and listen to it. 

00:51:11 Athena Cordero 

I'm going to go try it. 

00:51:12 Athena Cordero 

I don't know if it's going to work. 

00:51:13 Athena Cordero 

They want me to do, you know, these things. 

00:51:16 Athena Cordero 

I'm not sure we're on the same page. 

00:51:18 Athena Cordero 

Just the emotional piece of it, I would imagine is where the support system comes in heavily, and I'm guessing. 

00:51:25 Athena Cordero 

But I feel like that's what it is. 

00:51:26 Athena Cordero 

The things on paper, you can always go back and ask a question about how you felt. 

00:51:30 Athena Cordero 

That is going to be what runs the moment when you're coming out of there. 

00:51:34 Ivan Campos 

I would say when IEPs become contentious, I've had several of those in which just even leading up to it, your body's 

00:51:43 Ivan Campos 

lets you know it's coming. 

00:51:45 Ivan Campos 

And then after the meeting, you feel it for a couple days. 

00:51:49 Athena Cordero 

Wow. 

00:51:50 Athena Cordero 

You agree? 

00:51:51 Monica 

Yeah. 

00:51:53 Monica 

A lot of people don't talk about that. 

00:51:55 Monica 

So thanks for pointing out, Iván, because... 

00:51:58 Monica 

I was, when we were talking about the feelings and the emotions behind it, those can linger. 

00:52:03 Monica 

Yes. 

00:52:03 Monica 

And those can last a few days. 

00:52:05 Monica 

you're, getting back to the, inviting the child to the IEP, that was part of my feel. 

00:52:13 Monica 

Because if I felt, right, they're talking about my kid in these meetings. 

00:52:18 Monica 

And if I felt a certain way after the meeting, you know what, your kid? 

00:52:22 Monica 

They're not talking about me specifically. 

00:52:24 Monica 

They're talking about my child, right? 

00:52:26 Monica 

And although we're a little bit more like mama bears, parents are like this over our children, but can you imagine how the child may feel too? 

00:52:35 Monica 

So that's why I guess maybe for me that part of it was a little different, me talking to them and saying, hey. 

00:52:43 Monica 

Do you want to go to an IEP with me? 

00:52:44 Monica 

And they're like, what is that? 

00:52:47 Monica 

they, I also wanted to shield them from those feelings too. 

00:52:50 Monica 

Because I remember being in the car crying after an IEP. 

00:52:54 Monica 

Right. 

00:52:55 Monica 

Being so just, I'm going to take the rest of the day off. 

00:52:58 Monica 

You know, I worked all. 

00:52:59 Monica 

the time they were in school, I've always worked. 

00:53:01 Monica 

And so I would take time off for IEP. 

00:53:04 Monica 

It was exhausting. 

00:53:05 Monica 

It was a lot. 

00:53:06 Ivan Campos 

Yeah, I would agree. 

00:53:07 Ivan Campos 

And but when things are good, when there's a relationship, it's been restored with, you know, the IEP team or the district or whatnot, where you're able to have a dialogue conversation, I don't feel anything. 

00:53:21 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:53:22 Ivan Campos 

So it's and I kind of realized along the way that 

00:53:26 Ivan Campos 

Sometimes respect goes a long way to a family. 

00:53:29 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:53:30 Ivan Campos 

Sometimes communication and accountability. 

00:53:32 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:53:33 Ivan Campos 

And so if somehow you feel that, at least for me, if those aren't being met some somehow way or another, then I kind of feel slighted. 

00:53:40 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:53:41 Ivan Campos 

And that's where it starts. 

00:53:42 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:53:43 Ivan Campos 

So at least for me. 

00:53:45 Athena Cordero 

So, no, I would agree. 

00:53:46 Athena Cordero 

I would agree, especially, like you said, it can be intimidating and emotional. 

00:53:52 Athena Cordero 

You too right now are 

00:53:56 Athena Cordero 

composed. 

00:53:57 Athena Cordero 

You're able to talk about this. 

00:53:58 Athena Cordero 

It speaks to the years of experience that you've dealt with navigating this process. 

00:54:04 Athena Cordero 

But I know, and I can tell that it wasn't always that composed. 

00:54:08 Athena Cordero 

It was emotional. 

00:54:09 Athena Cordero 

So I have a question for you both, okay? 

00:54:12 Athena Cordero 

If you could go back to the beginning of this journey and tell yourself, you back then, one thing, what would it be? 

00:54:19 Monica 

I would say to my younger self, 

00:54:23 Monica 

Related to IEPs, obviously. 

00:54:26 Monica 

This, yeah, this process, yeah. 

00:54:27 Monica 

Think of the future. 

00:54:30 Monica 

Because we're very, you know, in the, right now, you know, okay, what goal, like once you start getting into goals, you know, to meet a certain goal, building on the big picture. 

00:54:43 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:54:43 Monica 

You know, what do you want overall for your child? 

00:54:46 Monica 

Like, let's just say it's about math, right? 

00:54:49 Monica 

addition, subtraction, do you want them to get to timetables, division? 

00:54:53 Monica 

Okay, how small do you need to go to get there to build that child to get to that goal? 

00:54:59 Athena Cordero 

Something like backwards planning, right? 

00:55:02 Monica 

It's what I would have wanted to know now, right? 

00:55:06 Monica 

Because now that I know things, I don't think I plan too much for the future. 

00:55:11 Monica 

I plan for the now. 

00:55:12 Monica 

And it was almost like I was just going with the flow of it because I didn't know what to expect in the future. 

00:55:18 Monica 

Now that I know that the future does matter, right? 

00:55:21 Monica 

We want to help them, set them up for a successful year, a successful year. 

00:55:28 Monica 

elementary, junior high, high school, the ones that are passing on to college, all of these things that you're doing right now with your kids really matter. 

00:55:36 Athena Cordero 

So I hear you saying that. 

00:55:39 Athena Cordero 

And then I also have had a chance to talk to you outside of this. 

00:55:41 Athena Cordero 

And it sounds like you did do that. 

00:55:43 Athena Cordero 

I mean, I know you feel like you want to go back and say those things. 

00:55:47 Athena Cordero 

Even though that might not be how you started, you did get there. 

00:55:51 Athena Cordero 

But of course, we can critique ourselves all day long, right? 

00:55:54 Athena Cordero 

But from what I've heard from you, Monica, it did sound like you did, you got to that point. 

00:55:59 Athena Cordero 

So high five, TA with your three kiddos. 

00:56:01 Athena Cordero 

Iván, what about you? 

00:56:02 Athena Cordero 

What would you go back and tell yourself at the beginning of this? 

00:56:05 Ivan Campos 

And I appreciate that I had a couple minutes to think about it because it's a loaded question. 

00:56:10 Athena Cordero 

It is. 

00:56:10 Ivan Campos 

And I've been listening to Monica's response, I'm thinking about this idea, that idea, and then I'm listening to what you're saying. 

00:56:18 Ivan Campos 

And then I'm trying to land on one and knowing you're going to ask me, it's hard to land on one. 

00:56:23 Ivan Campos 

And so what I would say to myself in this very moment as I'm tipping through my fingertips trying to land on one is that it's a journey and that there's no quick fix. 

00:56:34 Ivan Campos 

There's not going to be a tutoring program or a teacher or a specialist that is going to solve it immediately. 

00:56:41 Ivan Campos 

that I need to be patient with this journey. 

00:56:44 Ivan Campos 

I need to love my child and embrace them for who they are. 

00:56:48 Ivan Campos 

And don't focus too much on what they can't do. 

00:56:50 Ivan Campos 

Focus on who they are and what they can do and celebrate every day. 

00:56:55 Athena Cordero 

That both of those were perfect. 

00:56:58 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:56:58 Athena Cordero 

I mean, I know you, like I said, we can critique ourselves all we want now. 

00:57:02 Athena Cordero 

But from what I've learned about you, Monica, I know about you, Iván, you guys have been doing those things. 

00:57:08 Athena Cordero 

That's what you would tell yourselves 

00:57:10 Athena Cordero 

What do you hope our listeners, someone who's just trying to get some ideas, support, understand this process, what do you hope they take away from this episode? 

00:57:20 Ivan Campos 

I want to validate what Monica said about if the parent feels something is not okay in that meeting or something doesn't sell well with them, if you're already overburdened with the information plus your emotions, it's going to be hard to engage in that meeting. 

00:57:36 Ivan Campos 

And so as for a time out, as for a part 2 meeting, 

00:57:41 Ivan Campos 

That would be something I would tell families. 

00:57:43 Ivan Campos 

And I appreciate that you highlighted that. 

00:57:45 Monica 

Yeah. 

00:57:47 Monica 

If I was talking to somebody who's never, right, they're just coming out the gate with this info. 

00:57:53 Monica 

It's overwhelming. 

00:57:57 Monica 

I would say, I would tell another parent, you know, the intimidation part, try to get 

00:58:06 Monica 

rid of that as quickly as possible. 

00:58:08 Monica 

The other person on the other side of the table is also interested in your child. 

00:58:13 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:58:14 Monica 

You know, they want them to be successful. 

00:58:17 Monica 

I have yet to meet a teacher that doesn't feel like that about students. 

00:58:21 Monica 

You know, they want their students to be successful. 

00:58:24 Monica 

And when there is a need, you know, when there is a child that needs something in a classroom, they do their best to accommodate. 

00:58:31 Monica 

And so 

00:58:34 Monica 

quickly try to take that intimidation part. 

00:58:36 Monica 

It's, they're human just like you. 

00:58:38 Athena Cordero 

I appreciate you saying that because I'm sitting here listening, thinking, and I have not gone through this process, right? 

00:58:45 Athena Cordero 

I don't have a child on an IEP, but I hear you and I believe you when you say it's intimidating. 

00:58:50 Athena Cordero 

I've heard it's intimidating, but in my mind, I'm thinking I would be walking in the room thinking you don't know more than me. 

00:58:57 Athena Cordero 

They're my kid. 

00:58:58 Athena Cordero 

You don't know more than me. 

00:59:00 Athena Cordero 

That's how I feel like I would walk in the home. 

00:59:02 Athena Cordero 

I don't know that I would, but I feel like, no, one in here knows more than I do about my child. 

00:59:09 Athena Cordero 

You might know more about a service that you can offer them, but you don't know more about my kid. 

00:59:14 Athena Cordero 

So it took me a minute to wrap my head around those feelings coming from parents, feeling intimidated, feeling like they don't know as much, because I don't know that I would feel like that. 

00:59:23 Athena Cordero 

I can't say that I, you know, how it would be. 

00:59:26 Athena Cordero 

But I get it now. 

00:59:28 Athena Cordero 

there's so much going on. 

00:59:29 Athena Cordero 

You're worried about your kid that immediately puts you on the defensive. 

00:59:33 Athena Cordero 

And I could see that. 

00:59:34 Athena Cordero 

I could totally see that. 

00:59:35 Athena Cordero 

This is what I want you guys to do for me now, because we went a couple places in this conversation, so I'm not so comfortable. 

00:59:42 Ivan Campos 

And emotions, I, throughout this conversation, I've been, that was my emotions. 

00:59:47 Athena Cordero 

You guys did great. 

00:59:49 Athena Cordero 

I appreciate you so much for sharing such personal things, but here's what we're going to do, because I'm not going to just send you on your way now after that until you 

00:59:56 Athena Cordero 

deal with the emotions. 

00:59:58 Athena Cordero 

We're going to do a transition activity that I'm going to call text tag, okay? 

01:00:03 Athena Cordero 

So take your phones out, even though I made you put them away for the episode. 

01:00:08 Athena Cordero 

I want you to find one person in your phone who you feel like has just been an awesome support to you, to your family, to your kids, 

01:00:17 Athena Cordero 

And then just tell them, give them a grateful, you know, something that you're grateful to them for. 

01:00:24 Athena Cordero 

And while you guys are doing your text, I'm just gonna wrap up with reminding everybody that you can go to our website and search for that question and answer special education pamphlet. 

01:00:34 Athena Cordero 

It'll give you some more information and contact number to get ahold of anyone if you have more questions about the IEP process. 

01:00:41 Athena Cordero 

Or if you just need somewhere to start, feel free to reach out and thanks everybody for listening today.