Foster Youth Series EP 1 - Breaking Cycles: Lived Experience, Hope, and Healing

In this episode, Athena sits down with Daysi Silvas Ramirez and Zach Perez, two peer support associates with San Bernardino County Superintendent of Schools (SBCSS) who use their lived experience in foster care and homelessness to inspire and guide youth across the county. At only 21 and 24 years old, they already serve as powerful advocates, mentors, and truth-tellers. Bringing authenticity, vulnerability, and empathy to every space they enter.

Daysi and Zach open up about their early years: surviving homes marked by addiction, domestic violence, instability, and emotional neglect. They describe being separated from siblings, bouncing through multiple foster placements, and enduring both supportive and harmful foster homes. Their stories reveal the often-overlooked emotional reality of foster care: isolation, distrust, a desire for connection, and the small acts of kindness that become lifelines.

Together, they reflect on what makes a good foster parent, why intention and empathy matter, and how their work today allows them to offer youth what they wished someone had offered them. They share the moments when they recognized themselves in the students they support, the conversations that shifted a young person’s outlook, and the resilience required to break cycles and rewrite their futures.

This episode is a heartfelt reminder that trauma shapes, but does not define a child. Daysi and Zach embody hope, and their message to adults and youth alike is simple: Your circumstances do not decide your destination. With compassion, consistency, and belief, lives can change.

Highlights

• Lived experience leadership: Daysi and Zach explain how their foster care journeys now shape their roles speaking to students and educators.
• Raw childhood realities: Violence, addiction, instability, unsafe homes, and multiple removals from biological parents.
• The good and the harmful: Examples of both supportive foster parents and emotionally damaging placements.
• The weight of trauma: How kids laugh and play at school but often carry emotional burdens no one sees.
• Isolation in a crowded room: Why foster youth can feel alone despite being surrounded by adults.
• What kids remember: Simple acts. Being fed, being included, being treated like family—often become the most powerful moments.
• Advice for prospective foster parents: A child with trauma requires patience, intention, emotional skill, and the willingness to stay.
• Moments of impact: Zach reconnecting a youth with her foster sister; Daysi seeing students open up after hearing her story.
• Their futures: Daysi’s plans for a master’s degree and mentorship; Zach’s ambition to become a business owner and build a large, loving family.
• Parting messages: Give youth grace. Offer hope. Be intentional. And never let your past decide your future.

Thanks for listening! Follow us on Facebook and Instagram | www.cahelp.org | podcast@cahelp.org

Transcript

00:00:09 Intro 

The relentless pursuit of whatever works in the life of a child. 

00:00:18 Athena Cordero 

Welcome to Fostering Futures with CAHELP, a podcast dedicated to our relentless pursuit of whatever works in the life of a child. 

00:00:26 Athena Cordero 

I'm your host, Athena Cordero, inviting you to join me and countless others as we share our unique perspectives and expertise in the world of special education, behavioral health, social-emotional well-being, and community. 

00:00:39 Athena Cordero 

Follow us on Buzzsprout, Spotify, and Apple Podcasts. 

00:00:45 Athena Cordero 

Welcome, everyone, to Fostering Futures. 

00:00:47 Athena Cordero 

I'm Athena Cordero, and today I have two guests with me. 

00:00:50 Athena Cordero 

I'm actually very excited to meet you guys and to learn more about you. 

00:00:54 Athena Cordero 

I have Daysi, 

00:00:55 Athena Cordero 

and Zach. 

00:00:56 Athena Cordero 

And you guys both work with SBCSS. 

00:00:59 Athena Cordero 

Can you tell me, each of you, what your role is with SBCSS and just what you get to do? 

00:01:04 Daysi 

Yeah, I can definitely start. 

00:01:07 Daysi 

I'm a peer support associate with San Bernardino County Superintendent of Schools. 

00:01:10 Daysi 

And what I kind of do is I'm a youth with lived experience and I go out and I share my story about being in the foster care system and also experiencing homelessness. 

00:01:19 Athena Cordero 

Okay, that sounds very deep. 

00:01:21 Athena Cordero 

We're going to get into some of that. 

00:01:22 Athena Cordero 

I'm excited. 

00:01:22 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:01:23 Daysi 

Is that good about you? 

00:01:25 Zach 

Yes, so I'm in the exact same role. 

00:01:26 Zach 

So I think the value in what me and Daysi provide is she provides a perspective of, you know, she grew up in the system and then she has different experiences. 

00:01:34 Zach 

And especially the population that we speak to, like our community schools, I feel like I have such a strong connection with because I grew up like with the exact same lifestyle. 

00:01:42 Zach 

And then coming from California, like there's a lot of factors. 

00:01:45 Zach 

But in my role, you know, we do keynotes, we speak to our youth, we also speak to counselors, to either like when it comes to counselors, we either 

00:01:53 Zach 

help them understand what these youth go through, like first-hand experience coming from fostering homelessness. 

00:01:58 Zach 

And for the youth, we try to kind of inspire them in a way so where, you know, this is where I come from. 

00:02:03 Zach 

I'm just like you and you can do this too. 

00:02:05 Athena Cordero 

Wow, so thank you for that, Zach. 

00:02:07 Athena Cordero 

That's, it gives me some good perspective, even just getting ready to talk to you guys, right? 

00:02:12 Athena Cordero 

If you don't mind me asking, how old are you guys? 

00:02:14 Daysi 

I'm 24. 

00:02:15 Athena Cordero 

Okay, and Zach? 

00:02:16 Zach 

I'm 21. 

00:02:16 Athena Cordero 

21. 

00:02:17 Athena Cordero 

Okay, so early 20s. 

00:02:19 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:02:19 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:02:20 Athena Cordero 

How long have you guys been in this role? 

00:02:21 Athena Cordero 

How long have you been doing this? 

00:02:23 Daysi 

I'm going in about two years now. 

00:02:25 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:02:26 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:02:26 Zach 

I've been in for about a year and a half. 

00:02:28 Athena Cordero 

Year and a half. 

00:02:29 Athena Cordero 

I have to know, even just from first impression of you two, you seem very open to sharing, you know, 

00:02:37 Athena Cordero 

experience what it was like growing up, maybe in foster care. 

00:02:41 Athena Cordero 

Can we get into that a little bit? 

00:02:42 Athena Cordero 

Can you guys give me, you know, just an overview of what that felt like or what that was like growing up in foster care? 

00:02:49 Athena Cordero 

Daysi, you want to start? 

00:02:50 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:02:51 Daysi 

I grew up in the foster care system from the age of seven until I aged out at 21. 

00:02:55 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:02:56 Daysi 

I bounced from foster home to foster home. 

00:02:58 Daysi 

And my experience, I think it was rocky at times, and I feel like I had some good foster parents. 

00:03:07 Daysi 

And in my opinion, some foster parents who shouldn't have even gotten their license. 

00:03:12 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:03:12 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:03:12 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:03:13 Athena Cordero 

What about you, Zach? 

00:03:14 Zach 

So are we gonna say like, is this the opportunity to share the whole story a little bit? 

00:03:18 Athena Cordero 

Yeah, I mean, I really wanna know what it was like. 

00:03:21 Athena Cordero 

You know, if you've got something you wanna share now, go for it, as is you guys' story. 

00:03:25 Zach 

So basically, from my understanding, like, I was born in Long Beach, California. 

00:03:30 Zach 

But as I was growing up, you know, born inside of a home where there was domestic violence and there was drug addiction. 

00:03:35 Zach 

Of course, things got worse, kept away from the family. 

00:03:38 Zach 

That's how I grew up. 

00:03:39 Zach 

And then I was eventually taken away from my family. 

00:03:42 Zach 

Me and my siblings, I have two older siblings, we were all split up. 

00:03:45 Zach 

So... 

00:03:46 Zach 

I ended up going into the foster system when I was four years old. 

00:03:49 Zach 

Both of my parents went to jail. 

00:03:50 Zach 

My dad caught his third felony. 

00:03:51 Zach 

He got sent back to Mexico. 

00:03:52 Zach 

He got deported. 

00:03:53 Zach 

So at that point forward, that's where I kind of lost my family. 

00:03:57 Zach 

And then we were all separated in the foster care system. 

00:03:59 Zach 

And then one thing that I did notice being in the foster system is you experience a lot of neglect. 

00:04:03 Zach 

Like whenever I would visit my mom, whenever she was in jail, I would always be filthy. 

00:04:07 Zach 

Like I would have ribs on my clothes. 

00:04:08 Zach 

It would be all faded. 

00:04:09 Zach 

One thing she always missions that I always smell and I had juice in my mouth because I was a young kid. 

00:04:15 Zach 

But I eventually got out of the foster system a couple of years later because I was bouncing around. 

00:04:19 Zach 

I was probably at around four homes because they could not stand me because I was little and I was just always crying for my mom. 

00:04:24 Athena Cordero 

How old were you when you first went into the foster system? 

00:04:27 Zach 

So I was four years old. 

00:04:28 Athena Cordero 

Four, okay. 

00:04:29 Athena Cordero 

And you said you bounced around a little bit or were you in one foster home? 

00:04:35 Zach 

I bounced around LA County. 

00:04:36 Zach 

I was in Long Beach. 

00:04:37 Zach 

So I bounced around, I think two homes in like Compton. 

00:04:40 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:04:40 Zach 

And then I think there was one home in Lynnwood. 

00:04:43 Zach 

It was because it just could not handle it. 

00:04:44 Zach 

Like it was a lot of emotional toll. 

00:04:46 Zach 

And sometimes it would just have to take me from. 

00:04:48 Zach 

So when I eventually got, because my grandma had fought for me from the courts. 

00:04:52 Zach 

So she got me out. 

00:04:53 Zach 

And then I was kind of like trying to build that family back. 

00:04:56 Zach 

But once I was back in the cuts with my mom, because she passed her brain in classes, got out of jail, you know, she still, I still dealt with a lot of emotional violence. 

00:05:02 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:05:02 Zach 

So she would tell me a lot of things because she had bipolar depression. 

00:05:06 Zach 

She had been 51-50 on a couple of occasions. 

00:05:08 Zach 

So of course, as you can understand, growing up with a mother like that, it could be very difficult. 

00:05:12 Zach 

And that's what, my life kind of consisted of. 

00:05:16 Zach 

It was just a lot of neglect, a lot of filthiness. 

00:05:18 Zach 

So I think that impacted me for the best because it showed me what I never will be. 

00:05:23 Zach 

So I think, just coming from the fact that you can neglect a child, how you can raise a baby just like that, like I would never want that for my son. 

00:05:31 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:05:31 Zach 

So it kind of just showed me, 

00:05:33 Zach 

I'm gonna do the best for my child. 

00:05:35 Zach 

I'm never gonna, I'm gonna show them the opposite of feels. 

00:05:37 Zach 

I'm gonna show them love. 

00:05:38 Zach 

I'm gonna show them all the things that I didn't have. 

00:05:40 Athena Cordero 

And they're older than you. 

00:05:41 Zach 

Yeah. 

00:05:41 Athena Cordero 

Were they in the same placement as you or were you guys separated? 

00:05:45 Zach 

We were separated because they were older. 

00:05:47 Zach 

So they usually separate you by age. 

00:05:49 Zach 

They're significantly older than me. 

00:05:50 Zach 

So my sister is like 12 years older. 

00:05:52 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:05:52 Zach 

And then I was the baby. 

00:05:54 Zach 

So we were separated the entire time. 

00:05:56 Athena Cordero 

Wow. 

00:05:57 Athena Cordero 

Daysi. 

00:05:58 Athena Cordero 

Yes. 

00:05:59 Athena Cordero 

Thank you for sharing that, Zach. 

00:06:02 Athena Cordero 

I want to hear a little bit more about, your experience. 

00:06:05 Athena Cordero 

You said that you had some good foster parents and then you had a few that maybe probably should have never even been foster parents. 

00:06:13 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:06:13 Athena Cordero 

But talk to me about both of those scenarios. 

00:06:16 Athena Cordero 

For the ones that, you know, where it worked out good, what was that like? 

00:06:20 Daysi 

Oh, well, like similar with Zach too. 

00:06:22 Daysi 

I feel like our stories are somewhat similar. 

00:06:25 Daysi 

I also grew up with a mom who was addicted to methamphetamine. 

00:06:29 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:06:31 Daysi 

I didn't have a dad. 

00:06:32 Daysi 

Like I've never had a father figure. 

00:06:33 Daysi 

So it's always been me and my mom and my siblings as well. 

00:06:37 Daysi 

At the time I had four. 

00:06:39 Daysi 

And it was very, it was good times when she was sober and then the hard times were really hard. 

00:06:47 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:06:48 Daysi 

And with the foster parents, so I landed in the foster care system at the age of seven. 

00:06:53 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:06:53 Daysi 

And that was the first time I had ever gotten it removed. 

00:06:56 Daysi 

And it was because my mom, with my third sister, she was pregnant at the time and was using. 

00:07:01 Daysi 

So when my sister was born, the doctors obviously saw that my sister was going through withdrawals, and we got removed right then and there. 

00:07:09 Daysi 

The second time, she did the classes where she gained her custody back, and we were there with her, so I was 10 when she got me back. 

00:07:17 Daysi 

and my sisters. 

00:07:18 Daysi 

And at that time, she was good, clean. 

00:07:22 Daysi 

And I also wanted to tag, maybe Zach could have a little bit of perspective as well. 

00:07:26 Daysi 

Once they see parents are somewhat okay, they start, social workers start losing the reins, I guess, in a way. 

00:07:33 Athena Cordero 

Okay, a little more flexibility. 

00:07:34 Daysi 

Yeah, a little bit more flexibility. 

00:07:36 Daysi 

And my mom took advantage of that. 

00:07:38 Daysi 

And she met a man, and he's the one person that I feel like I would consider a father figure. 

00:07:44 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:07:45 Daysi 

She met him and life was good with him. 

00:07:48 Daysi 

But unfortunately, on December 17, 2011, they had, he was also a user and they had gone into big, because just like Zach, domestic violence was huge in my household. 

00:08:02 Daysi 

They had gone into huge dispute. 

00:08:04 Daysi 

She ends up calling the cops. 

00:08:06 Daysi 

He goes away. 

00:08:08 Daysi 

He was on his, it was about to be his third strike. 

00:08:10 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:08:11 Daysi 

And he runs away. 

00:08:13 Daysi 

He's completely out of it. 

00:08:15 Daysi 

You could just tell that the person behind the father that I knew, because he always treated me well and my sisters, he wasn't there anymore. 

00:08:21 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:08:22 Daysi 

And so he goes, he leaves. 

00:08:25 Daysi 

The police officers come about an afternoon and they kind of tell my mom, they, I'll never forget the three knocks on our doors, on our door. 

00:08:33 Daysi 

They knock, my mom opens in, and they ask her if she's the one who called 911. 

00:08:38 Daysi 

She says that she was, and they tell her that they regret to inform her, but he made it seem like he had a weapon, and the officers had no choice but to shoot. 

00:08:47 Daysi 

Wow. 

00:08:48 Daysi 

And that's when -- I feel like my life completely changed after that, because four days later, my mom, the social worker, was going to show up. 

00:08:57 Daysi 

My mom didn't have -- we didn't have food in the fridge often. 

00:09:00 Daysi 

So my mom went to go to the grocery store and she left me 10-year-old Daysi with her three, two-year-old, and I believe seven-year-old sister at the time. 

00:09:09 Daysi 

And so she leaves and I swear I saw my mom through the peephole because she'd had often forgotten her keys. 

00:09:16 Daysi 

So I open the door and I come face-to-face with the social worker. 

00:09:20 Daysi 

And I knew right then and there I had just lost my dad and I was just about to lose my mom. 

00:09:25 Daysi 

And so I'm calling my mom and I'm freaking out and I'm telling her, you need to get home because the social worker's here. 

00:09:30 Daysi 

And she's telling me, okay, She gets home and the social worker just looks at her, she closes the door, and when that door reopens, 

00:09:39 Daysi 

Two police officers are standing out there and they're ready to take me and my siblings. 

00:09:43 Daysi 

And so when it comes to foster parents, when I landed with the same, because when I landed at seven years old, those were my first foster parents. 

00:09:50 Daysi 

When I landed back in the system at 10 years old, I went back to the same foster parents. 

00:09:55 Athena Cordero 

So when you were seven? 

00:09:56 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:09:57 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:09:57 Daysi 

So, but my sisters, so I have three sisters at the time, so they were younger. 

00:10:03 Daysi 

Me and the second oldest were placed back in that first foster home, and then the two younger ones were separated, and they were later then adopted from their side of the family. 

00:10:12 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:10:13 Daysi 

Yeah, so with them, those first foster parents, I think they were good, but I believe that because they weren't, because we come from already being abused, they have to come up with different ways to discipline us. 

00:10:26 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:10:26 Daysi 

And I feel like this is where I say that some parents, some foster parents shouldn't deserve their license. 

00:10:32 Daysi 

Just because the way that they disciplined us, I believe has impacted me tremendously as an adult. 

00:10:39 Daysi 

They weren't able to hit us, but what they did do was like mentally and emotionally abuse us in their power. 

00:10:47 Athena Cordero 

Wow. 

00:10:48 Athena Cordero 

All right. 

00:10:49 Athena Cordero 

So both of you have been very open, okay, about what your home life with your family and then in the foster care system. 

00:10:59 Athena Cordero 

I know that there are probably some people who shouldn't be parents, let alone foster parents. 

00:11:04 Athena Cordero 

When you tell me that there's some who probably don't deserve their license, do you ever like sit down and think to yourself, how does this happen? 

00:11:12 Athena Cordero 

Like, how do you get to become a parent for kids who are already coming, you know, from a very sensitive situation? 

00:11:20 Athena Cordero 

Like, how does that happen? 

00:11:22 Athena Cordero 

And then when you question it, because I'm sure you have, what do you think, you know, maybe 

00:11:27 Athena Cordero 

folks responsible for providing that privilege should think about, you know, when they're looking at certification or looking at who's fit to be a foster parent, what do you think that they should be thinking or looking for? 

00:11:41 Daysi 

Oh, that's such a loaded question. 

00:11:43 Daysi 

Like there's so many components because it's a good question. 

00:11:46 Daysi 

I think that people who want to foster are children. 

00:11:51 Daysi 

you really do have to have the heart for this because you're not dealing with, I don't want to say regular because we're still regular kids, but we have trauma. 

00:12:00 Daysi 

And that's something that comes with that extra baggage of us. 

00:12:05 Daysi 

And I just feel like with parents, I think you really do have to have the heart for this and understand that you're not dealing with just someone who has behavioral issues. 

00:12:16 Daysi 

You're dealing with a child who has behavioral issues because they stem from somewhere. 

00:12:20 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:12:21 Zach 

I think, just what Daysi said. 

00:12:23 Zach 

You really have to, like, when you go into it, if you're at the beginning and you're trying to figure out why exactly you're going to do it, like, what's your mission? 

00:12:29 Zach 

What's your intentions? 

00:12:31 Zach 

So you have to go in and understanding the fact that... 

00:12:34 Zach 

of course, you are dealing with kids who grew up differently, so they're gonna learn differently. 

00:12:39 Zach 

So now you're pursuing the role of not only a teacher, but a parent as well. 

00:12:43 Zach 

So yes, you're gonna have to work, like be flexible with these kids, but you're also gonna have to be emotional at times. 

00:12:47 Zach 

You're gonna have to be that way of support. 

00:12:49 Zach 

You're gonna have to do a lot of teaching and in the right way. 

00:12:51 Zach 

So it's really just going into it with the mindset of I'm going to be a parent. 

00:12:55 Zach 

I'm not just gonna be a foster parent, but I am in control of the way that this child is gonna like, 

00:13:02 Zach 

have a perspective on life. 

00:13:03 Zach 

There's just a lot of value in it. 

00:13:05 Zach 

So just going in with that mindset and just understanding that you're going to have to have a lot of empathy and you're going to have a lot of flexibility. 

00:13:11 Zach 

And the biggest thing that I've learned being a new dad is you're going to have to have a lot of patience. 

00:13:14 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:13:15 Zach 

Because, you know, every child is different. 

00:13:17 Zach 

And especially when they come in at different ages, you know, when you deal with the order kid. 

00:13:22 Zach 

they're like, I don't really want to deal with this kid because this kid has been through life already and it could have been a tough one. 

00:13:27 Zach 

So it's going to be even harder to work with the kid. 

00:13:29 Zach 

But just having that patience, having that empathy and realizing that I care for this kid, you have to care. 

00:13:35 Zach 

So I think that's the biggest thing too. 

00:13:37 Athena Cordero 

That's really good feedback, you guys, really honest feedback. 

00:13:39 Athena Cordero 

What I'm pulling from it as I'm listening to you is that even though foster placement is supposed to be temporary, I mean, that's what it's supposed to be. 

00:13:48 Athena Cordero 

It's supposed to be temporary. 

00:13:49 Athena Cordero 

It can lead to permanent, of course. 

00:13:52 Athena Cordero 

I guess what I'm getting from you is for the person, for the potential foster parent, not to think of it as temporary, but to go into it thinking not that they're just gonna be here for a little while, but I have, 

00:14:05 Athena Cordero 

the ability to put an impact on this kid for the rest of their life, not just for the six months or year that they're going to be with me, which I don't think I thought about it like that before. 

00:14:16 Athena Cordero 

And I think grown-ups sometimes overthink the wrong thing, but it's not temporary for you all. 

00:14:24 Athena Cordero 

That lasts, it sticks with you forever, that one experience. 

00:14:28 Athena Cordero 

It might be temporary for the person going into it, how they're setting up their home, 

00:14:33 Athena Cordero 

You know what they're going to have to get accustomed to, but that does live on you, right? 

00:14:37 Athena Cordero 

Forever. 

00:14:38 Athena Cordero 

I think that would be what I would want somebody to tell me. 

00:14:41 Athena Cordero 

If I was going into this thinking, you know, how do, what's my intention? 

00:14:46 Athena Cordero 

What am I going to give? 

00:14:47 Athena Cordero 

I would need somebody to tell me that. 

00:14:48 Athena Cordero 

You're going to leave a lasting impression, even if they're with you for a couple of months. 

00:14:53 Daysi 

And I agree with that because I feel like for me, I can remember every single foster parent that I've ever encountered. 

00:15:00 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:15:00 Daysi 

And like I say it all the time, it's the good ones and the bad ones. 

00:15:04 Daysi 

Like I, and it's mainly because I already stem from trauma. 

00:15:08 Daysi 

that it's just so easy for me to recollect a lot of like individuals or whoever I encounter, but I agree with what you said. 

00:15:16 Athena Cordero 

I know that each kid, going into the foster system is, they have their own story, their own unique, something like a thumbprint, right? 

00:15:24 Athena Cordero 

Like there's no two stories probably the same, I would imagine. 

00:15:28 Athena Cordero 

In thinking about it like that, though, what are probably some challenges that, you know, kids in foster care have that might seem small, you know, to somebody 

00:15:37 Athena Cordero 

the outside looking in, but you know, you guys know for sure that whether they were in the system when you were kids or today, what are some challenges that they might experience? 

00:15:49 Athena Cordero 

Nothing too small, you know, nothing too big, nothing too small. 

00:15:53 Daysi 

I think the biggest thing that they might face is just carrying that baggage. 

00:15:58 Daysi 

You don't forget what you go through. 

00:16:01 Daysi 

It's it's engraved in your mind. 

00:16:04 Daysi 

all the moments that you went through as a child. 

00:16:06 Daysi 

And I feel like that's what people often forget that, yeah, they may be laughing and having fun and creating friends in their environment, that they go to school every day, but they still come home to a stranger. 

00:16:19 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:16:19 Daysi 

They still come home to someone that, for me, I felt there was instances where I know you're doing this because you made me feel like I'm just a check to you. 

00:16:31 Daysi 

So they come home to that. 

00:16:33 Daysi 

So it's, again, if you make it or you break it with the kid, you may just view it simply as, well, I'm getting money from this kid. 

00:16:39 Daysi 

So like Zach's instances where he had spilled juice all over, you know, and visiting with his mom, you could just do that where it's like, well, I'm doing the bare minimum. 

00:16:49 Daysi 

Because eventually they'll go back. 

00:16:51 Daysi 

Or you can really make a lasting impact. 

00:16:54 Daysi 

Never adopted, but again, I bounced foster home to foster home. 

00:16:58 Daysi 

My last foster parent, 

00:17:00 Daysi 

She's considered my mom because I still, she invites me over. 

00:17:04 Daysi 

She has so many kids that she adopted. 

00:17:06 Daysi 

Like, she's the example that I would say that I'm grateful that I encountered because for me, in her eyes, I wasn't just a check. 

00:17:15 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:17:16 Daysi 

I was her daughter and she treated me as such. 

00:17:19 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:17:19 Athena Cordero 

Shout out to her. 

00:17:20 Daysi 

Yes. 

00:17:21 Athena Cordero 

Very cool. 

00:17:23 Athena Cordero 

What's a small thing, Zach, that you remember still to this day 

00:17:28 Athena Cordero 

that maybe somebody did for you in the foster system that you considered a positive thing maybe. 

00:17:37 Zach 

So if I'm being honest with everyone, they have too many positive experiences in the positive system. 

00:17:42 Zach 

'Cause you know, over there, it was really just, it really was just a paycheck thing where I was with families. 

00:17:48 Zach 

So I think one of the most positive things was I think at my last family before I had gotten pulled out by the courts, 

00:17:54 Zach 

I'm not too, I remember they used to feed me. 

00:17:56 Zach 

They used to feed me consistently. 

00:17:57 Zach 

That was one of the biggest things I would ever feed me. 

00:17:59 Zach 

But they used to kind of like make me feel at home. 

00:18:02 Zach 

I think one thing was they bring me around their family. 

00:18:05 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:18:05 Zach 

Like other ones don't bring you around their family, but they actually treated you as an individual. 

00:18:08 Zach 

Cause you know, sometimes you'll get like different treatment where their kids are gonna eat first, even if you're the youngest. 

00:18:12 Zach 

Wow. 

00:18:13 Zach 

Or they're gonna get the gifts and you're probably gonna get like, you know, your favorite food or something. 

00:18:17 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:18:18 Zach 

But with this family specifically, they used to bring me around. 

00:18:21 Zach 

Like I used to call their, 

00:18:23 Zach 

I don't know if they, I don't think they had kids, but I called them my cousins, the kids that they would bring around. 

00:18:27 Zach 

And then they liked me because I was still young. 

00:18:30 Zach 

And usually, foster parents wouldn't want to adopt, they ain't for younger kids. 

00:18:34 Zach 

So I think really just making me feel like one of their own was one of the things that I remember the best. 

00:18:37 Zach 

And then they were going to adopt me. 

00:18:40 Zach 

But my grandmother had pulled me out because 

00:18:43 Zach 

man, I don't want to get too much into the personal stuff. 

00:18:46 Zach 

My grandma was all about her kids. 

00:18:48 Zach 

So my grandma wouldn't have got me out if it wasn't for my mom saying, get my kid, get my kid. 

00:18:51 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:18:52 Zach 

So I think that was one of the best things that you could do for a kid. 

00:18:54 Zach 

Make them feel accepted. 

00:18:55 Zach 

I think they came in probably with some really good intentions. 

00:18:58 Athena Cordero 

That's awesome. 

00:18:59 Athena Cordero 

And that's a small thing. 

00:19:00 Athena Cordero 

To me, that's a small thing, to invite your family over and introduce your child. 

00:19:07 Athena Cordero 

That's your child, you know, for that time, however long, to the rest of the family. 

00:19:12 Athena Cordero 

I can see how that would go a long way. 

00:19:14 Athena Cordero 

It doesn't make you feel as isolated, which is interesting to me in hearing the rest of our guests, you know, in this series. 

00:19:24 Athena Cordero 

It sounds like even though you're surrounded by adults, social workers, different teachers, different foster parents, your own parents, you know, grandparents, folks trying to come in to keep the kids in the family, but then maybe they can't do it. 

00:19:36 Athena Cordero 

So they go back into foster care. 

00:19:38 Athena Cordero 

It sounds like there's a lot of adults around, but it also sounds very isolating. 

00:19:42 Athena Cordero 

I don't know how that works, you know, simultaneously where there could be so many adults, but then at the same time, the kid can feel so, 

00:19:51 Athena Cordero 

isolated or alone? 

00:19:54 Athena Cordero 

Tell me, tell me about it. 

00:19:55 Athena Cordero 

What were you thinking? 

00:19:56 Daysi 

I, when you were explaining where you were going, the word isolating, because yeah, I just, you put me back in a place where I was like, yeah, I did. 

00:20:06 Daysi 

I was surrounded by a lot of adults. 

00:20:07 Daysi 

I was surrounded by, you know, I had visits with my mom and I had visits with my siblings. 

00:20:13 Daysi 

But again, it's just isolating because you're in a stranger's home. 

00:20:19 Daysi 

And 

00:20:21 Daysi 

you're surrounded by all these individuals, but you're still going through this traumatic experience alone. 

00:20:29 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:20:29 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:20:29 Daysi 

You don't have your, your mom. 

00:20:31 Daysi 

Like, if it was one thing to be like, oh, I'm still living with my mom and maybe the social workers are constantly checking out of nowhere on us. 

00:20:40 Daysi 

Okay, but we're going through that situation together, right? 

00:20:44 Daysi 

My siblings and I are going through it together. 

00:20:46 Daysi 

And when I was separated from my two younger siblings, 

00:20:49 Daysi 

and it was just me and the second oldest, it still felt isolating, and it almost put us against each other in some way because she didn't know how to deal with her trauma, and I didn't know how to deal with mine. 

00:21:01 Athena Cordero 

Yeah, yeah. 

00:21:03 Athena Cordero 

That's rough. 

00:21:04 Athena Cordero 

If I were to put you guys in front of a couple of kids right now who are in foster care, and you had a chance to just sit down, just you and them, and talk to them, what, 

00:21:18 Athena Cordero 

maybe is like a few things you would make sure to say before you had to part ways. 

00:21:24 Zach 

I actually had a moment like this come up. 

00:21:26 Zach 

So in our roles, we do go out into the community. 

00:21:28 Zach 

There was one keynote that I remember specifically where I had done it up here. 

00:21:33 Zach 

I had done it at Excelsior High School. 

00:21:35 Zach 

And there was this one young lady, I'm not gonna say the name, but she was inspiring to me because she had went through so much as a youth. 

00:21:44 Zach 

So I had did my little keynote. 

00:21:45 Zach 

I told her she learned about me being in the foster system and she was able to relate in so many ways. 

00:21:50 Zach 

I wouldn't have known anything about her being in the foster system or anything if I didn't see her from across the room, looking down at the table and then just seeing that she was going through something. 

00:21:59 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:22:00 Zach 

So once I saw that, I was like, this is my opportunity. 

00:22:02 Zach 

I'm gonna sit next to her and I'm gonna see what's wrong because obviously, you know, you can tell when a kid is inspired or they're like touched in a way from your story. 

00:22:11 Zach 

So I sat next to her and I was just like, how's your day going? 

00:22:13 Zach 

I just said something simple like that, just getting a little introduction. 

00:22:16 Zach 

Now, then she started to open up, but she was like, my day's okay, things like that. 

00:22:19 Zach 

And I was asking, a little bit about her aspirations. 

00:22:22 Zach 

That's where I learned that she was in the foster system. 

00:22:24 Zach 

And she was telling me that she was going through so much. 

00:22:26 Zach 

Like she had such a crazy background. 

00:22:28 Zach 

And I was just, it was just crazy for me to hear. 

00:22:31 Zach 

But she was telling me everything. 

00:22:33 Zach 

As a matter of fact, I ended up learning that somebody that's in the program that we were in before, like our scholarship program, 

00:22:39 Zach 

She was actually a foster sister with somebody who was in the program. 

00:22:43 Zach 

One of my close friends, that was crazy for me to learn because I was like, I can tell you guys have very similar personalities. 

00:22:48 Zach 

And then she said that was her sister. 

00:22:49 Zach 

That wasn't just her foster sister. 

00:22:51 Zach 

That was her sister. 

00:22:51 Zach 

She tried to contact her as much as possible. 

00:22:53 Zach 

And I told, I told so-and-so that her foster sister goes to this school. 

00:22:57 Zach 

She wants to contact you. 

00:22:58 Zach 

So I was able to build their connection back. 

00:23:00 Athena Cordero 

That's awesome. 

00:23:01 Zach 

But I was also just. 

00:23:03 Zach 

able to kind of just, it's things that she already knew, which is why I was so inspired, where she was besting her circumstances the same way how we all have to. 

00:23:11 Zach 

And I was just like, this young lady is so powerful. 

00:23:13 Zach 

So I just wanted to like appreciating where like a foster youth is where, you know, it's not gonna be easy for you at all. 

00:23:21 Zach 

You don't have the same cars dealt for you as all these kids that have this leverage from family members, networks. 

00:23:28 Zach 

You don't have that. 

00:23:29 Zach 

And the fact that you're taking that step and you're building those connections and you're seeking those opportunities, 

00:23:33 Zach 

I'm gonna vouch for you, I'm gonna tell you that you got it, and it takes time. 

00:23:37 Zach 

You're gonna feel discouraged, but just keep going. 

00:23:40 Zach 

And then she was getting a little emotional, but just understanding that there's so much emotional toll that you take in these positions that you really just have to appreciate the small things like you were mentioning earlier. 

00:23:52 Zach 

These small things really do matter because when you come from a barrier that's solo where people, they go out and do such amazing things, they have so much fun, they have such a good family life. 

00:24:02 Zach 

It's the little things like saying, I'm proud of you that matter. 

00:24:05 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:24:05 Zach 

So once I told her, like I said, I'm proud of you, I met you for a minute, but I'm still gonna, like, where someone says, I'm gonna meet you where you're at, I met her exactly where she was. 

00:24:14 Zach 

And I was starting to just keep going, you got this, and I'm gonna connect you. 

00:24:17 Zach 

And I connected her now they're talking at this moment, but just appreciating them where they're at and just giving them the simple, you know, feelings of, 

00:24:25 Zach 

I don't know if it's words of aspiration from like another person, but just saying like, I'm proud of you, saying that you can do this, inspiring in a way. 

00:24:32 Zach 

That's all a philosophy with needs. 

00:24:34 Athena Cordero 

It is words of affirmation, Zach, but I think what you, from what I'm hearing, what you really did was you were completely honest with her. 

00:24:43 Athena Cordero 

There wasn't a, oh, everything will be okay. 

00:24:46 Athena Cordero 

You know, like you let her know, it's hard. 

00:24:48 Athena Cordero 

You've got things that other kids don't, you don't have to worry about. 

00:24:53 Athena Cordero 

They have things that you don't. 

00:24:55 Athena Cordero 

you know, get to take advantage of and it's going to be hard sometimes. 

00:24:59 Athena Cordero 

That was very real, very honest, probably not easy to hear, but it does give you, I think, a better view of how to look at your circumstances and where to start, right? 

00:25:10 Athena Cordero 

And then how to keep going. 

00:25:12 Athena Cordero 

So I can't imagine what you must have done for her just with that one conversation. 

00:25:16 Athena Cordero 

That's awesome. 

00:25:17 Athena Cordero 

Daysi, what about you? 

00:25:18 Athena Cordero 

If you can sit down across from, you know, a kid in foster care 

00:25:22 Athena Cordero 

right now, what's something you might tell him? 

00:25:24 Daysi 

I think I would say everything that Zach said. 

00:25:26 Daysi 

Ditto. 

00:25:27 Daysi 

I know, right. 

00:25:28 Daysi 

No, but I think with our job or what we do, because I don't consider it a job. 

00:25:34 Daysi 

I consider it something that I love to do. 

00:25:36 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:25:37 Daysi 

Because I automatically see the impact that I make through these kids. 

00:25:42 Daysi 

At first, the first interactions are always like, I want absolutely nothing to do with you. 

00:25:46 Daysi 

You're 

00:25:46 Daysi 

You're just here. 

00:25:47 Daysi 

Like, they see you as, with the kids, they can tell when you're real and when you're fake. 

00:25:53 Daysi 

So first interactions are always, I want absolutely nothing to do with you. 

00:25:56 Daysi 

I don't even want to hear you. 

00:25:57 Daysi 

I'm going to put my head down. 

00:25:59 Daysi 

And like, you're just here. 

00:26:00 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:26:01 Daysi 

And then as you slowly start coming and they see you more often, it's, they start to pique their interest of like, okay. 

00:26:09 Daysi 

And then they hear our stories and they're like, oh, and you always have that like simple interactions. 

00:26:13 Daysi 

And I've had multiple interactions just like Zach, where they come up to you and they confide in you, what they're going through, and they share how your story made them feel seen, made them feel like they're not alone in whatever situation that they're going through. 

00:26:30 Daysi 

And one of the things that you said was circumstance. 

00:26:34 Daysi 

In our program that we work with, 

00:26:37 Daysi 

There's one individual who always says that the circumstances may not change, but something in your heart has to. 

00:26:42 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:26:43 Daysi 

And I think that's powerful. 

00:26:45 Daysi 

And we always end the program with, if people can hate for no reason, we can love for no reason. 

00:26:50 Daysi 

So we always tell the kids, we love you. 

00:26:52 Daysi 

Like, we stand by you. 

00:26:55 Daysi 

We do truly believe that whatever you're going through, you can get out of it. 

00:26:58 Daysi 

And we 

00:26:59 Daysi 

tell them that because we're living proof of that. 

00:27:02 Daysi 

We've gone through so many hard things. 

00:27:04 Daysi 

And I feel like that's what I always tell our youth of, I get it because I was you. 

00:27:10 Daysi 

I was sitting in those chairs. 

00:27:12 Daysi 

I was going through that exact same circumstance that you're going through. 

00:27:16 Daysi 

And so I think that's what I would tell any of our youth who are listening, that you are seen, you are valued. 

00:27:23 Daysi 

And just because you're going through something hard or just because you're 

00:27:28 Daysi 

so-and-so's child doesn't mean that that has to define you. 

00:27:32 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:27:33 Daysi 

You have to create your path. 

00:27:35 Daysi 

And don't let anyone who tells you you can't do something, you do the exact opposite. 

00:27:41 Daysi 

You prove them wrong. 

00:27:41 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:27:42 Daysi 

Yeah, very true. 

00:27:45 Athena Cordero 

I think any one of any kid in foster care would benefit from hearing from either one of you, to be honest. 

00:27:51 Athena Cordero 

You don't talk about what you get to do as a job at all. 

00:27:56 Athena Cordero 

You talk about it as something that you get to do and that you hope will help as many kids or families as possible. 

00:28:04 Athena Cordero 

That's where it comes from. 

00:28:05 Athena Cordero 

I can just, it like breathes off of you guys. 

00:28:08 Athena Cordero 

I don't know if you realize that or not, but it does. 

00:28:13 Athena Cordero 

You do so much already, I'm sure, with the keynotes and recognizing a kid in the crowd, you know, who's maybe not as engaged. 

00:28:22 Athena Cordero 

Do you think in your lifetime you would ever consider being a foster parent yourself? 

00:28:27 Athena Cordero 

Oh, that's a good one. 

00:28:30 Daysi 

I feel, so I'm with, I've been with my partner for five years. 

00:28:34 Daysi 

So we talk about this all the time. 

00:28:37 Daysi 

I personally have always said that I don't want kids. 

00:28:40 Daysi 

I don't want to birth kids, okay? 

00:28:41 Daysi 

I don't want to go through that experience. 

00:28:43 Daysi 

I just don't, it's not for you. 

00:28:45 Daysi 

Yeah, it doesn't come natural for me. 

00:28:47 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:28:48 Daysi 

But foster kids, 

00:28:50 Daysi 

I feel like has always tugged in that direction of maybe fostering someday. 

00:28:55 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:28:56 Daysi 

And it's just because, again, you have the, you need to have the heart for it. 

00:29:01 Daysi 

And I feel like with our experience, there's something special that you get a kid and you're like, I know exactly what you're going through. 

00:29:09 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:29:09 Daysi 

I can relate to you. 

00:29:11 Daysi 

And I feel like just having that connection of maybe having a teenage girl someday and being like, I want absolutely nothing to do with you and be like, yep, that was me. 

00:29:19 Daysi 

Yeah, that was me right there. 

00:29:21 Daysi 

Right. 

00:29:22 Daysi 

But then having them 

00:29:23 Daysi 

hear or relate to you of like, no, I get it because I was you. 

00:29:28 Daysi 

I was that same age and I understand it. 

00:29:31 Daysi 

So maybe someday. 

00:29:32 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:29:33 Athena Cordero 

That, I mean, that's a tough question. 

00:29:35 Athena Cordero 

Thank you for even trying to think about it on the spot. 

00:29:37 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:29:37 Athena Cordero 

Is that going to put you in the same tough position? 

00:29:40 Athena Cordero 

Do you ever think about it? 

00:29:42 Athena Cordero 

I mean, and you have a child of your own. 

00:29:43 Athena Cordero 

It sounds like you're a new dad, but maybe in the future or how you feel about it. 

00:29:49 Zach 

Well, the thing is, you know, the way that I am, the way that I've been is 

00:29:54 Zach 

maybe in the future, but if I'm being honest at the moment, I try to be as transparent as possible. 

00:29:59 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:30:00 Zach 

Like, I would consider it, but I think further along the line, because I have not had the opportunity of, having, because I want a big family. 

00:30:09 Zach 

I want to have a lot of kids. 

00:30:11 Zach 

I want to have like 10. 

00:30:12 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:30:13 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:30:13 Zach 

So I feel like if I, if I, if I take on a foster youth, the thing that I think about when I hear that question is I think about all the amazing 

00:30:23 Zach 

young people that I have met, just in the community schools where these kids are so entertaining to me because they remind me of myself, like Daysi said. 

00:30:31 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:30:32 Zach 

Now, I would love to be the support system for these youth. 

00:30:35 Zach 

Like when we went to Vision Community Day School, and then there was that one youth that I was talking to for the entire program, I felt so bad because we're supposed to facilitate. 

00:30:42 Zach 

But this youth wanted attention. 

00:30:44 Zach 

I wanted to give them the attention because I knew that I could make a difference for this kid. 

00:30:48 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:30:48 Zach 

So I was sticking with them. 

00:30:50 Zach 

And we are so like, 

00:30:52 Zach 

And of course, we're constantly fighting our circumstances. 

00:30:55 Zach 

But just the way that he was talking, I could tell that he was inspired in a way through this conversation where I am, I can be a role model for you. 

00:31:04 Zach 

are fighting the same circumstances that I've fought and I can give you this advice, but I want to give it to you 24 7. 

00:31:09 Zach 

But I'm limited to this hour that we have. 

00:31:11 Zach 

So I'm going to try to give you this hour. 

00:31:12 Zach 

I'm going to try to give him the most sessions I can during these hour sessions. 

00:31:15 Zach 

And I hope I can bring a couple of you in a group and then give you the same type of mentorship. 

00:31:19 Zach 

Yeah. 

00:31:20 Zach 

And even better, if I were to be your foster parent, I'd be different. 

00:31:24 Zach 

But when I think back to my family life, I have a partner to consider. 

00:31:27 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:31:28 Zach 

So then I have to think about her wants, her needs. 

00:31:30 Athena Cordero 

Especially when you want 10 kids. 

00:31:32 Zach 

Exactly. 

00:31:33 Zach 

That's what I'm saying. 

00:31:34 Zach 

So when I think back to that, you know, it's going to be a maybe for in the future because I have a lot of plans. 

00:31:40 Zach 

Like, it's crazy. 

00:31:41 Zach 

I'm a very ambitious individual. 

00:31:43 Zach 

So maybe sometime along the line. 

00:31:45 Zach 

But if I'm being honest at the moment, like, yeah, because my brother, 

00:31:48 Zach 

Love him to death, but he has put me in a difficult situation because his young daughter is in the foster system right now. 

00:31:55 Zach 

And then now I'm signing paperwork to make sure that she's able to contact me, that she might be able to stay with me because I don't want her to be in the system. 

00:32:04 Athena Cordero 

That's needed, yeah. 

00:32:05 Zach 

I haven't talked to her for so long. 

00:32:07 Zach 

It was just so random. 

00:32:08 Zach 

My brother complains about, oh, I never get to see her, but he's not taking the step. 

00:32:12 Zach 

He's not beaten in circumstances. 

00:32:13 Zach 

He's conquered by them. 

00:32:14 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:32:15 Zach 

So all I can do is try to inspire, but nobody's gonna change unless they want to. 

00:32:17 Athena Cordero 

Of course. 

00:32:18 Zach 

Yeah. 

00:32:18 Zach 

All I try to do is just say, you have a daughter to look for. 

00:32:21 Zach 

Remember, I'm doing the same thing. 

00:32:22 Zach 

I'm younger than you by 16 years. 

00:32:25 Athena Cordero 

Wow. 

00:32:25 Zach 

So you can definitely make a difference. 

00:32:27 Athena Cordero 

So thank you guys for being so honest, okay? 

00:32:31 Athena Cordero 

Here's why I ask. 

00:32:33 Athena Cordero 

Earlier, 

00:32:35 Athena Cordero 

we talked about what it takes to be a foster parent, and you both said you have to have a heart for it. 

00:32:40 Athena Cordero 

you have to have patience. 

00:32:41 Athena Cordero 

You have to really think about what you're trying to give, not get, right, from being a foster parent. 

00:32:48 Athena Cordero 

But Zach, you said it, you're constantly fighting your circumstances. 

00:32:52 Athena Cordero 

So for two individuals who have seen foster care for what it is, good and bad, remember your own personal circumstances. 

00:33:03 Athena Cordero 

And then go to work every day, ready to help. 

00:33:06 Athena Cordero 

For you two to be a little apprehensive, I feel like should let someone know. 

00:33:11 Athena Cordero 

You really need to think about what this means and how you're impacting children to make a decision to be a foster parent. 

00:33:20 Athena Cordero 

This is not easy. 

00:33:22 Athena Cordero 

It's not for someone trying to check a box. 

00:33:26 Athena Cordero 

And for you to know what it is, the weight of it, and still be like, ooh, I don't know, maybe in the future, I think that tells A lot. 

00:33:34 Athena Cordero 

I feel like if somebody wanted to be a foster parent and they went through the certification, they should be required to hear that before they sign, if I'm being honest. 

00:33:45 Daysi 

I agree so too. 

00:33:46 Daysi 

I think there should be like a video or something or have you come to you and be like, this is what we've gone through. 

00:33:53 Daysi 

This is the baggage that these kids carry. 

00:33:56 Daysi 

And if you are ready to sign up for all of this and much more, because 

00:34:02 Daysi 

One of the things that we always say is that when you first get a foster child, they push and push. 

00:34:07 Daysi 

Why? 

00:34:07 Daysi 

Because so many individuals have crossed their path where if they push just hard enough, they leave. 

00:34:13 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:34:13 Daysi 

So I'm gonna push you and push your limits and push your buttons and you're gonna go crying sometimes and I'm gonna feel bad, but I gotta make sure that you're gonna stay. 

00:34:22 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:34:23 Daysi 

Because I need you to stay. 

00:34:24 Daysi 

Because if not, then you're just another person who left in my life. 

00:34:29 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:34:29 Athena Cordero 

Yeah, you really do have to have the grit for it. 

00:34:32 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:34:33 Athena Cordero 

Now, I'm going to say that because I want I want folks to understand, you know, the impact that they're having. 

00:34:40 Athena Cordero 

But then at the same time, if it's just a matter of, you know, being nervous, but knowing you can offer something awesome, I would say go for it. 

00:34:48 Athena Cordero 

You know, in a second, I would say go for it, try it. 

00:34:51 Athena Cordero 

Because even if you gave one really good 

00:34:54 Athena Cordero 

give, all for just one kid or two kids and that's all you had in you, that's probably better than someone who shouldn't be a foster parent helping five or six or seven kids and them not making the impact that we want them to make. 

00:35:08 Athena Cordero 

So I would still encourage, you know, someone if you really feel like you can do it, even if you can do it temporarily, go for it. 

00:35:16 Athena Cordero 

But I would still hope they listen. 

00:35:17 Athena Cordero 

They get a chance to listen to, you know, folks like you. 

00:35:21 Athena Cordero 

Okay, looking forward. 

00:35:23 Athena Cordero 

You guys have grown and moved in directions. 

00:35:27 Athena Cordero 

I'm sure that when you were younger you wouldn't have thought. 

00:35:31 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:35:33 Athena Cordero 

With that in mind, talk to me about, like, what's next for you? 

00:35:36 Athena Cordero 

What do you guys hope to do next? 

00:35:38 Athena Cordero 

What do you dream about? 

00:35:39 Athena Cordero 

You just finished saying you have a lot of aspirations for the future. 

00:35:44 Athena Cordero 

And I hope so, because 10 kids would, you would need to have it planned out pretty good. 

00:35:49 Athena Cordero 

What do you think is in store for you? 

00:35:51 Athena Cordero 

Like, what are you guys looking 10, 20, 30 years ahead? 

00:35:55 Athena Cordero 

Where do you see yourselves? 

00:35:56 Daysi 

Where do I see myself in 10, 20 years? 

00:35:59 Daysi 

I'm like, well, that's like a long time, but it'll fly by in no time. 

00:36:03 Athena Cordero 

Let me tell you, it does, especially after you hit 30. 

00:36:06 Daysi 

No, I feel like after I hit 21, I was like, how am I 24 years old already? 

00:36:12 Daysi 

Yeah, no, that's crazy. 

00:36:14 Daysi 

So I can only imagine how fast that time will come. 

00:36:17 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:36:17 Daysi 

I feel like for me, 

00:36:19 Daysi 

I'm a first generation high school and college graduate. 

00:36:22 Daysi 

Congratulations. 

00:36:23 Daysi 

Zach talked a little bit about the program that we both got full ride scholarships through. 

00:36:28 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:36:29 Daysi 

And the program is called Give Back. 

00:36:32 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:36:32 Daysi 

They've changed my life and I feel like I wouldn't have had these dreams and aspirations if someone wouldn't have looked at me and said, I think you're worth it. 

00:36:42 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:36:43 Daysi 

And giving me that key to go succeed and get my college degree 

00:36:49 Daysi 

And it was so peaceful because my mom, my bio mom is now, I believe she's going on 10 years sober. 

00:36:56 Athena Cordero 

Wow. 

00:36:56 Daysi 

Yeah, so she changed her life around and I have a good connection with her. 

00:37:01 Daysi 

And I feel like she's doing good. 

00:37:04 Daysi 

And one of the things that I feel like with the foster kids we strive for is that we always want our family back. 

00:37:11 Daysi 

And for me, it took a lot of healing and going through therapy and figuring it out and putting 

00:37:18 Daysi 

really strict boundaries with my mom of this is what I expect of you if you're back in my life. 

00:37:22 Daysi 

Good for you. 

00:37:23 Daysi 

And when I graduated college, it was my foster mom, who I just call her my mom, my mom, my bio mom, and my grandma. 

00:37:34 Daysi 

And to see the three generations there of like seeing her grandkid and her daughter succeed in something that they never could do and never did, it was beautiful. 

00:37:45 Daysi 

So I hope for my future, I want to go back for my master's program. 

00:37:50 Daysi 

I really do. 

00:37:51 Daysi 

I want to continue my higher education and I want to continue. 

00:37:55 Daysi 

Maybe I'm just like a little bit, gives me a little ego boost of like being the first of everything. 

00:38:01 Daysi 

So maybe it's that. 

00:38:02 Daysi 

But it's also, I know how much having my education has changed my life and the opportunities it has opened up for me. 

00:38:10 Daysi 

And I want to continue to open up and 

00:38:13 Daysi 

just, and also set an example for my sisters because I feel like my sister, the second oldest, she's 21 like Zach. 

00:38:22 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:38:22 Daysi 

And I want to be an example for her, but also the two youngest is, are 16 and 17. 

00:38:27 Daysi 

So I want to show them that there's possibilities out there for them. 

00:38:32 Athena Cordero 

Do they know what you get to do? 

00:38:34 Daysi 

They, my, oldest sister, well, my second oldest sister, she's, she does. 

00:38:39 Daysi 

The 2 younger ones, not really because I, 

00:38:42 Daysi 

They live in LA. 

00:38:43 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:38:44 Daysi 

And I'm from San Bernardino County. 

00:38:46 Daysi 

So it's a little bit hard to try to travel and be there. 

00:38:50 Daysi 

And so I don't really have, because I grew up in the system and I went many, many years with no communication with the two younger ones. 

00:38:58 Daysi 

Wow. 

00:38:59 Daysi 

So they don't know me the way I know my, the second oldest because we grew up together. 

00:39:05 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:39:05 Daysi 

So it's been, it's a little bit rocky, but 

00:39:08 Daysi 

we're starting to build that relationship. 

00:39:10 Athena Cordero 

And the older they get, don't be surprised if that gap gets a little smaller. 

00:39:15 Daysi 

That's what I've been told. 

00:39:16 Athena Cordero 

Yeah, it probably will. 

00:39:18 Athena Cordero 

Where about you, Zach? 

00:39:20 Athena Cordero 

Where do you see yourself 10 years, 20 years? 

00:39:23 Zach 

So I try to like build a little blueprint, so. 

00:39:26 Athena Cordero 

Why am I not surprised you said that right? 

00:39:28 Athena Cordero 

Yeah, I don't know why. 

00:39:29 Athena Cordero 

Okay, tell me. 

00:39:30 Daysi 

It's just he has 10 kids. 

00:39:31 Daysi 

Yeah, he has that set up for real. 

00:39:34 Athena Cordero 

She's about it. 

00:39:34 Athena Cordero 

Okay, tell me about it. 

00:39:36 Zach 

I don't know. 

00:39:37 Zach 

Whenever I hear people talking about their family life like Daysi, I really love it. 

00:39:41 Zach 

Like I really want to have that, but I feel like the only way I'm going to be able to is really with my intermediate, like the babies and stuff. 

00:39:48 Zach 

Because, you know, I don't know if my family life is ever going to be reconciliated. 

00:39:51 Zach 

So there's a lot going on in the background, but let's talk about me for a second. 

00:39:55 Zach 

So of course, you know, you got to be selfish at times, you know, so I don't like saying it, but it's true because you would have to set yourself up for success. 

00:40:04 Zach 

So when I think about mine, I like created a whole thing, right? 

00:40:06 Zach 

So when I first got out of high school, like when I first got my ambition, so my ambition came when I was 17. 

00:40:12 Zach 

The reason why I came is because I was able to see that I could beat my circumstances. 

00:40:15 Zach 

Okay. 

00:40:16 Zach 

So I had the support of staff members. 

00:40:19 Zach 

I didn't have my support. 

00:40:20 Zach 

You know, I was expelled. 

00:40:21 Zach 

I was in community day school. 

00:40:23 Zach 

I was on the edge. 

00:40:25 Zach 

But then the fact that I was able to bounce back and speak for graduation, I graduated with all A's. 

00:40:29 Zach 

I graduated with a 1.7 GPA, but I had all A's in my senior semester. 

00:40:33 Athena Cordero 

Gotcha. 

00:40:34 Zach 

So I want that to give a little perspective going on. 

00:40:38 Zach 

Oh, what you're able to do. 

00:40:39 Zach 

Yeah, exactly. 

00:40:40 Zach 

Just to see, 'cause my goal was going back into regular school, getting all A's, and I didn't even plan on speaking for graduation, but they said the way that I was so motivational, they needed me up there. 

00:40:49 Zach 

So I applied for it. 

00:40:51 Zach 

They wanted me up there. 

00:40:52 Zach 

I ended my 2022, class of 22 when I graduated my senior year. 

00:40:57 Zach 

That's what showed me what was possible. 

00:41:00 Zach 

So then I set my boundary very high. 

00:41:02 Zach 

So of course, life is a roller coaster. 

00:41:04 Zach 

It's always going to be. 

00:41:05 Zach 

So there were lots of moments of discouragement, but then you get to notice you're in control of basically how far you'll go. 

00:41:14 Zach 

So I was very intentional with my degree. 

00:41:18 Zach 

So I went for business administration, but 

00:41:22 Zach 

out of choosing accounting, finance, like all the other majors, I wanted my concentration to be business analytics because I wanted to learn how to make business decisions. 

00:41:29 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:41:29 Zach 

So when you know how to make a business decision, you shouldn't be able to be able to run a successful business. 

00:41:33 Athena Cordero 

No matter what it is. 

00:41:35 Zach 

Exactly. 

00:41:35 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:41:35 Zach 

Because you know how to scale properly. 

00:41:37 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:41:37 Zach 

So when I think in the perspective of a business owner, that's what I want to be. 

00:41:42 Zach 

Now, thinking about the business that I want to get into, I don't want to be a role model for everybody. 

00:41:47 Daysi 

I understand. 

00:41:48 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:41:48 Zach 

Because, you know, 

00:41:50 Zach 

My end goal is to have my own gin company. 

00:41:53 Daysi 

Okay. 

00:41:53 Zach 

Like, you know, like the gin? 

00:41:54 Zach 

I do. 

00:41:54 Zach 

The gin, you know, that one. 

00:41:56 Zach 

So, no, I'm just kidding. 

00:41:58 Daysi 

Gym, I was like, can I sign up when you do a gym? 

00:42:00 Zach 

I would love to. 

00:42:02 Zach 

I would love to. 

00:42:02 Zach 

That was my inspiration at first, but I was just thinking of something where, you know, something that I would be, like, take pride in. 

00:42:10 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:42:10 Zach 

Because I don't want, so I'm gonna go on my little business bill, but 

00:42:15 Zach 

I want to manufacture a drink where you can look back at your success and be like, I made it this far. 

00:42:20 Zach 

So I'm going to celebrate instead of overindulse like a lot of people tend to like I used to. 

00:42:23 Athena Cordero 

Gotcha. 

00:42:24 Zach 

So that's like where that comes in. 

00:42:26 Zach 

But I also wanted to have my own kombucha company just in that realm because I'm on wellness. 

00:42:32 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:42:33 Zach 

So something in the realm of health and wellness. 

00:42:35 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:42:35 Zach 

But just be a business owner in that regard. 

00:42:37 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:42:38 Zach 

And then just be highly successful in it. 

00:42:39 Athena Cordero 

You know, I'm going to go ahead and say I 

00:42:43 Athena Cordero 

If you need like a panel of folks to taste test or anything like that, you can contact our team. 

00:42:50 Athena Cordero 

We'd be happy to help you in that venture. 

00:42:53 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:42:54 Zach 

It's all about me either. 

00:42:55 Zach 

Yeah, and I already got, I already got people talking about it. 

00:42:58 Zach 

They're like, oh, you got to give me a, I'll support you in the beginning and then I'll support you in the hand. 

00:43:02 Zach 

Like in my, in my respective. 

00:43:05 Athena Cordero 

Hey, we'll keep in touch. 

00:43:06 Zach 

Oh, absolutely. 

00:43:07 Athena Cordero 

I think that'll be a nice get back together, round table for us. 

00:43:10 Athena Cordero 

That would be cool. 

00:43:10 Zach 

I agree with that. 

00:43:12 Zach 

100%. 

00:43:12 Athena Cordero 

I have learned, I think, even though I've learned a lot in every episode for this series, but you two have given me just a different view. 

00:43:25 Athena Cordero 

And I don't mean the, like the process part of it. 

00:43:29 Athena Cordero 

I mean, you know, like from the heart, just a different way to look at this. 

00:43:34 Athena Cordero 

So I appreciate that. 

00:43:36 Athena Cordero 

And I thank you both because you can't 

00:43:39 Athena Cordero 

You can't fake that. 

00:43:40 Athena Cordero 

You know what I mean? 

00:43:41 Athena Cordero 

People cannot walk into a room and give the background and the story that you did from reading it off a piece of paper. 

00:43:48 Athena Cordero 

There's no script. 

00:43:49 Athena Cordero 

You guys just gave exactly what you went through, but you do it in a way that doesn't. 

00:43:56 Athena Cordero 

It doesn't take you down like a dark, you know, path of like, we can never come back from this. 

00:44:01 Athena Cordero 

You guys are are living inspirations of what can. 

00:44:05 Athena Cordero 

what can happen later and what you have to think of while you're going through it. 

00:44:09 Athena Cordero 

So I appreciate that you're even willing to share that, you're so transparent, so open. 

00:44:14 Athena Cordero 

I can't imagine how many kids you guys have helped and the impact that you've left on them temporarily that'll go on forever. 

00:44:21 Athena Cordero 

So I just want to say thank you so much because there's nothing anybody could do to thank you for that. 

00:44:26 Athena Cordero 

There's no, there's no, there's no compensation that's big enough. 

00:44:30 Athena Cordero 

Okay. 

00:44:31 Athena Cordero 

Thank you so much for sitting today. 

00:44:34 Athena Cordero 

If there's one thing, one thing, folks who have, listened to the series that we've been doing on foster care, took away from it, as an adult or as a child, what would you want them to take away from hearing from all of these different experiences? 

00:44:52 Zach 

So if we're talking to both, they have different, got to leave off, leave them off for two different things. 

00:44:56 Zach 

So thinking for an adult, I think one of the best things to take away is 

00:45:02 Zach 

especially for foster adults. 

00:45:04 Zach 

So for one, if you're going to take on a youth that has gone through so much, you have to go in, not even knowing the youth, you just have to go in extremely intentional, regardless of their personality traits, whatever, how difficult they may be, you have to go in with the fact that I'm going to change this kid's life. 

00:45:20 Zach 

I'm going to support him. 

00:45:21 Zach 

It has to be something beneficial, but you really have to go on with that intention. 

00:45:24 Zach 

And then for the youth perspective, now you can go through, you can go through mud, you can go through hell. 

00:45:32 Zach 

but it's about what you do to change that. 

00:45:34 Zach 

And if your circumstances don't change, then you can, like don't, you don't, you may be, I like to say a product of your environment for now because I was, but that's not how it always has to be. 

00:45:46 Zach 

You are in control at the end of the day. 

00:45:47 Zach 

You are an individual who can change that. 

00:45:49 Zach 

If you're not around people who you want to be like, then you got to change your environment. 

00:45:53 Zach 

So that's what I began to do. 

00:45:54 Zach 

But just seeing that you can go from here and you can go to there and you will definitely practice gratitude, understanding that like when you mention how 

00:46:02 Zach 

it kind of like radius and it doesn't put us in a dark place. 

00:46:04 Zach 

It's because we embrace it. 

00:46:06 Zach 

You have to embrace it. 

00:46:08 Zach 

You're gonna do it inevitably once you start to pursue success. 

00:46:12 Zach 

Like we look back on it, like she's doing such great things, reconciliating and just growing in her life. 

00:46:18 Zach 

Yeah. 

00:46:19 Zach 

She doesn't look back at it like it was so, it was so down and dirty. 

00:46:22 Zach 

Yeah. 

00:46:23 Zach 

Being in this position that first showed us that we can tell our story, we can inspire others, and we're not gonna get so sad like we used to in the beginning. 

00:46:31 Zach 

Now we're gonna see that 

00:46:32 Zach 

they see where we're at now. 

00:46:34 Zach 

But you just have to let it like, it's just about perspective. 

00:46:38 Zach 

So when we look back, it doesn't put us in a dark place because, you see we were here and then it puts you up. 

00:46:46 Zach 

You have to look back down at it because you came so far. 

00:46:48 Athena Cordero 

Yeah. 

00:46:49 Zach 

It's seeing how far you came that makes it so important. 

00:46:52 Zach 

And that's gonna come for all these youth that listen to this. 

00:46:55 Athena Cordero 

I like it. 

00:46:56 Zach 

Yeah. 

00:46:56 Athena Cordero 

I like it. 

00:46:57 Daysi 

Everybody agree with Zach. 

00:46:58 Daysi 

I think just the hardships that we faced 

00:47:02 Daysi 

made us who we are today. 

00:47:04 Daysi 

I think for any adult who comes across our youth, just give them a little grace. 

00:47:09 Daysi 

I think they already are carrying so much weight on their shoulders. 

00:47:15 Daysi 

They're going through so many emotions. 

00:47:18 Daysi 

And I feel like if you could just give them a little bit of grace, I know they get on your nerves sometimes. 

00:47:24 Daysi 

I know I did with a lot of adults that came across, but it wasn't because 

00:47:29 Daysi 

I hated you or I had something against you, it's because I didn't know how to let out my anger in a positive way. 

00:47:38 Daysi 

Yeah. 

00:47:39 Daysi 

And I was just handling those emotions by myself. 

00:47:42 Daysi 

For our youths, I would just say to not lose hope. 

00:47:48 Daysi 

I think there's many, many times where in my life, I can say that I almost lost it. 

00:47:55 Daysi 

And it's the people who 

00:47:58 Daysi 

told me like positive affirmations or told me that I could get through whatever I was going through, made me like, okay, I'm going to wake up and I'm going to try it again. 

00:48:07 Daysi 

I'm going to wake up and I'm going to try it again. 

00:48:09 Daysi 

And I feel like with our youths, I just want to let this be the last message of just don't lose your hope. 

00:48:17 Daysi 

Don't let your circumstance be what you decide is your end path. 

00:48:23 Daysi 

Change it because you can. 

00:48:24 Daysi 

And I feel like 

00:48:27 Daysi 

I feel like our youth often forget that. 

00:48:29 Daysi 

They feel like because they've been labeled such things, well, it's so much easier to prove everybody that I'm just the way they say I am. 

00:48:37 Daysi 

And it's hard to get to this side. 

00:48:39 Daysi 

It was hard. 

00:48:40 Daysi 

It took a lot of like mental strength to try to change the trajectory of our lives. 

00:48:48 Daysi 

But I feel like it was worth it. 

00:48:50 Daysi 

And I feel like I would never, ever, ever take back 

00:48:55 Daysi 

what I went through because it's who I am and I'm proud of it and I went through so much and I can sit here and be unashamed because our youth are sometimes so ashamed about what they went through that they hide from it and they try to act tough and they try to get into fights so that no one hurts them anymore. 

00:49:17 Daysi 

Don't be ashamed. 

00:49:19 Daysi 

It's beautiful. 

00:49:20 Daysi 

You've gone through so much and look at where you are now. 

00:49:25 Athena Cordero 

Thank you guys very much for sitting with me. 

00:49:28 Daysi 

And come back anytime, okay? 

00:49:32 Daysi 

We'd love to. 

00:49:35 Outro and ad 

Before we wrap up, we want to remind you that if you or someone you know is facing a crisis, help is available. 

00:49:43 Outro and ad 

You are not alone. 

00:49:45 Outro and ad 

If it's an emergency, please call 911. 

00:49:49 Outro and ad 

For immediate support, you can reach out to the crisis and suicide hotline by dialing 988. 

00:49:56 Outro and ad 

Remember, taking the first step to ask for help is a sign of strength. 

00:50:01 Outro and ad 

Stay safe, take care of yourself, and take care of each other. 

00:50:06 Outro and ad 

Until next time, be well. 

00:50:09 Outro and ad 

Don't miss a dedicated foster parent who opened her home and heart in a big way. 

00:50:14 Outro and ad 

Maria shares what it's really like growing a family to 9 overnight and welcoming six children into her care, some as young as two weeks old. 

00:50:23 Outro and ad 

From late night feedings to life-changing moments, Maria gives an honest look at the love, challenges, and purpose behind foster parenting. 

00:50:32 Outro and ad 

Her story is powerful, eye-opening, and deeply inspiring. 

00:50:37 Outro and ad 

Don't miss this episode because foster care stories deserve to be heard. 

00:50:41 Outro and ad 

See you next time.