The Lasting Impact of High-Conflict Custody Cases on Children with Dr. Mary Alvarez – Ep 18

In episode 18 of "Cases & Cocktails," Bryan and Janice Eggleston welcome Dr. Mary Alvarez, a licensed forensic psychologist specializing in family law and high-conflict custody cases. With April being Parental Alienation Awareness Month, this episode sheds light on the long-term effects of parental alienation and high-conflict divorces on children.

What Are Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs)?

Dr. Alvarez introduces ACEs as a framework for understanding how childhood trauma impacts long-term mental and physical health. There are 10 categories of ACEs, and just one experience—such as divorce—can increase a child’s risk of developing psychological disorders in adulthood.

📌 The more ACEs a child accumulates, the greater their risk for:
 ✔️ Depression & anxiety
 ✔️ Personality disorders
 ✔️ Substance abuse
 ✔️ Suicidal ideation
 ✔️ Cognitive impairments

She stresses that high-conflict custody battles and parental alienation behaviors significantly contribute to ACEs, often leading to structural changes in a child’s brain development.

How Parental Alienation & High-Conflict Custody Cases Impact Children

While divorce itself is an ACEs factor, parental alienation and conflict escalate the damage, creating long-term psychological harm. Some common alienating behaviors include:
 ✔️ Bad-mouthing the other parent in front of the child.
 ✔️ Forcing the child to “choose” a parent by creating loyalty conflicts.
 ✔️ Withholding parenting time or interfering with visits.
 ✔️ Using the child as a messenger or spy in legal battles.

Dr. Alvarez explains that children are biologically wired to bond with both parents, and any attempt to sever that bond causes emotional distress and developmental harm.

The Science Behind Toxic Stress & Brain Development

One of the most shocking revelations in this episode is that children in high-conflict custody situations experience structural changes in their brains.

📌 Why does this happen?
 When children are constantly exposed to parental conflict, their autonomic nervous system (fight-or-flight response) stays in overdrive, flooding their brains with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline.

🔹 Short-term stress is normal—like jumping out of the way of a speeding car.
 🔹 But when stress is constant, the brain never returns to baseline, leading to long-term cognitive impairments in areas like:
 ✔️ Memory & learning
 ✔️ Decision-making
 ✔️ Emotional regulation

Dr. Alvarez emphasizes that early intervention is crucial to prevent irreversible damage to a child’s mental and emotional well-being.

How Can We Minimize Conflict & Protect Children?

As a court-appointed parent facilitator, Dr. Alvarez works with parents to reduce conflict and improve co-parenting dynamics. She uses a combination of:
 ✔️ Co-Parenting & Parallel Parenting Strategies – Helping parents communicate effectively and set clear boundaries.
 ✔️ Educational Interventions – Teaching parents how their conflict affects their child’s development.
 ✔️ Reducing Power Struggles – Preventing one parent from having excessive control over custody dynamics.

She stresses that favoring one parent over another (even unintentionally) creates an unhealthy power imbalance, leading to entitlement issues in children and further alienation.

Final Thoughts

📅 Need Help? Dr. Mary Alvarez is available for court appointments as a parent facilitator. Visit DrMaryAlvarez.com for more information.