Flowers That Tell A Life Story

What if flowers could tell a life story better than words? We sit down with funeral florist Jamie Shrouders of GrandiFlora to unpack how tribute flowers become anchors of meaning at the hardest moment.

Jamie traces her family’s journey from postwar Dutch growers to a Melbourne studio dedicated solely to funeral flowers. She shares how personalisation actually happens: casket sprays built from a loved one’s garden cuttings, or a delicate rainbow for a children accompanied by bubbles. 

This conversation is part practical guide, part love letter to quiet excellence in death care. You’ll hear tips that extend the tribute beyond the service, like inviting guests to take a flower home, and clear advice on caring for blooms without the myths.  Above all, Jamie’s purpose shines: earn trust, honour stories, and make the hard day a little more bearable with beauty that feels true.

If this resonates, follow the journey, share this with someone who might need it, and leave a review to help others find thoughtful conversations about death, grief, and the rituals that hold us. Subscribe for more candid, compassionate episodes and tell us: what object or bloom would tell your story?

Have questions about death, dying or the funeral industry? Email ask@ladyofdeath.com.au to have them answered in a future episode.

Transcript

Season Two Opens With Big Questions

Speaker 3 0:01

What happens when we die? There's mysteries all around. We seek to learn though the answers, might not always be found. Yet in asking deep questions, a trail we will certainly pave to better understand the journey to our grave.

Meet Robin And Her Audience Invitation

Shifting Focus Beyond The Industry Core

Introducing Jamie Shrouders Of GrandiFlora

Robyn 0:38

Welcome back to season two of the Lady of Death podcast. My name is Robyn O'Connell, better known as the Lady of Death, and I'd love it if you could follow me on Facebook under Ask Lady of Death or leave a comment and give me some feedback about what you'd like to hear. Last season, we primarily chatted to people who work in and around the death industry. Yet, as you would have heard in the first session of this season, I will also be talking to those more on the peripheral of the industry, those who are affected by death. Come along for the ride. I'm sure you'll listen to some interesting people along the way who generously give their time to chat to me.

Robyn 1:27

My guest today is Jamee Schreuders from Gran diflora and she makes those magnificent flowers you see on the top of coffins and caskets. So welcome, Jamee.

Jamee 1:38

Thank you for having me, Robyn.

Robyn 1:40

Tell me about yourself. Who do you live with? Pets, hobbies?

Jamie’s Life, Work, And Family Roots

Jamee 1:44

Oh, getting right into it. So I am 39 years old and I currently live with my partner, and we don't have any pets. Um I work too much and we like to travel. So it's not really fair to have pets at home when we're both not at home. He's with the AFL and a busy exec. And so yeah, and my hobbies, I'm a workaholic. Uh like I really, like I swear to you, I love what I do. So I don't really have, I guess, time for hobbies, but I don't really, really miss that I don't have hobbies or anything. Like I love, I love what I do. So that is my life, my passion, and my hobby, I guess.

A Family Farm Becomes A Floral Legacy

Jamee 2:24

I guess playing with my niece is I don't think it's a hobby. But if I think downtime or something, like I've got a four-year-old niece, and my nephew just turned 10 yesterday. So I'm a very big family person. So that's probably what I do outside of of playing with flowers.

Robyn 2:39

So I just spoke to you briefly before we started, and you told me that it was your grandmother that came up with the name. I didn't even realise that it was a family business. So tell us about that, tell us how you came up with the name.

Jamee 2:52

So my like, I'll just give you a bit of a backstory. So my grandparents, my Oma and Opa came out from Holland after the war, and my Opa wanted to start a new life after everything, and they came out with absolutely nothing. And he wanted to start his own business, and he noticed that there wasn't a great abundance of flowers grown in Australia in the 50's. So we started in carnations, just in Braeside, just a small, small farm. Uh, they spoke no English, and they got a break in the 56 Olympics when everybody came out and wanted really good quality flowers, and they just grew from there.

Choosing Funeral Flowers As A Calling

Jamee 3:30

And then my dad took over the business in the 90s when my grandfather passed away, and he decided to grow roses. He just saw we had we used to grow gerberas, carnations, we grew everything, and my dad just wanted to really solidify on one line. So my dad actually also breeds roses and grows roses for the global and domestic market. And then my sister and I are in the family business now. She does the marketing and I do the floral tributes and the kind of we used to have retail shops. We used to have 20 retail shops across Melbourne, but now I've transitioned to only do funeral flowers for floral tributes. So yeah.

Robyn 4:06

So tell me how people react to you when you tell them (Jamee: what I do) it's not that the type of flowers, like it's not exactly like you're making weddings and on Mother's Day.

Dinner Party Reactions To Death Work

Jamee 4:19

Yeah, it is funny because like you know, if I go out with my partner and I meet some of his friends, he's a little bit embarrassed when he goes, "Can you stop telling people you do funeral flowers?" Because like people do, they kind of... you see their faces, like when you use that F-word, funeral. (R: I know!) people do, and I understand, I completely understand it, but I'm so passionate about what I do. So, yeah, people, if they don't know, as soon as you say I only do flowers for funerals, they think you're a bit weird and they almost like step away from you. And but then once people get to know me and understand, they just think it's amazing. They really do. They think, oh my gosh, I wish I'd had someone like you, or you know, at that time, because people don't really think much of flowers in the funeral process unless you're in it as in a funeral director or in the industry, I guess. So yeah, people, yeah. Greg's like, "can you just tell them you're Australia's biggest rose grower?" Like, and I'm like, Well, that's my family business, but I'm the funeral, like I do funeral flowers, and I'm so proud of it. So I don't want to hide the fact that that's my niche and that's my passion.

Robyn 5:24

It's really funny, isn't it? How people, you know, I always say to people, you want a conversation stopper at your dinner party? Invite me!

Jamee 5:33

I can tell you some stories and you would too, like, especially from funeral directors, because I interact with them all the time and they tell things off the cuff. And you know, I I mean, I love funeral directors. I uh it takes a very special person to be a funeral director. I just love them.

Robyn 5:47

I agree.

Jamee 5:47

I could we we could have a dinner party and we could just blow the pants off some people about the cringe stories, but they're they're normal, that's life, and so but yeah, I mean, if we you and I are at a dinner party, we could absolutely offend some people, but in the best way, because that is life.

Robyn 6:04

It is, you know. I've I've said this a couple of times before that sometimes if I get on a plane and I'm flying somewhere and I'm doing something else, and somebody says to me, What do you do? I say, "uh, I'm an executive assistant". Yeah. We don't go into the whole conversation thing.

Jamee 6:23

My partner says he cleans trains, right? Because he's with the AFL. So as soon as someone like mentions, oh, AFL, can you tell me this and that? So my partner just goes, "I clean trains", and everyone's like, "Oh, okay, cool". (R: I might try that one.) You don't want to engage, like, not you're being rude, but yeah, once you start and people, you know, you just want to keep it lighthearted, especially if you don't know somebody as well.

Robyn 6:45

And I and I think, you know, um, I was just talking to a gentleman yesterday, I'm away at the moment. and I had to get my car battery replaced and the not the battery in the car, uh, I mean, you know, the remote control thing to open it so I could actually open the door. And I was talking, and he was a uh tow truck driver.

Jamee 7:04

Yes.

Tow Trucks, Coroners, And Hidden Roles

Robyn 7:04

And he was talking about, and he kind of stopped himself because he started to say how, you know, when the coroner's called, they have to leave the body in the car until the coroner gets there. And he said sometimes it can be a couple of hours or so, and then all of a sudden he sort of stopped himself and said, "Oh, sorry," you know, and I said, believe it or not, I work in the funeral industry. And he went, "Oh, well, that's okay, I can tell you then.

Jamee 7:30

And it's things you don't even think about that other people have to experience outside if they're not in the industry.

Robyn 7:35

Well, I I hadn't thought about tow truck drivers to be honest.

Jamee 7:39

I had an either, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

Robyn 7:41

Yeah. I you just kind of think, oh yeah, they go and pick up the broken car and and take it away. But he was telling me that they used used to, I don't know now what the process is, but they used to actually have to take a deceased person out of the car, you know. And he said, "you know, it might be a kid and you've got a kid at home".

Jamee 8:00

Oh, breaks my heart.

Robyn 8:01

So yeah, and it would be very confronting because if you're not used to it

Jamee 8:05

oh wow, yeah.

Robyn 8:07

So it's you know, it's it's amazing how much death, and that's part of the reason for this podcast, is to try and show people that we are just normal people with unusual jobs, yes, you know, and that we we kind of see things that other people don't see, but they also they're it's just such an intense time when when someone dies.

Speaker 2 8:33

Absolutely.

Why Tribute Flowers Matter

Robyn 8:34

So I always ask people what is their why, why do you do what you do? Why do you do funeral flowers in particular?

Jamee 8:42

Well, I think you just like kind of like broached on that is you don't get to choose when someone passes away, like nine, you know what I mean? So it is a very emotional time for the families, especially if it's unexpected, and they don't do this every day. So the fact that I can come in and help mainly the funeral directors, but the families to create something that signifies that loved one's life and what what their passions were or who they were, and I can just create that little bit of um peace for the families and something beautiful or something that really represented that loved one's life. That just means everything to me. And especially people don't do it every day. So you want to make it as easy for them as possible, you want to put them at ease that they know that that part of uh the funeral is just handled and they can go on because you'll have so many things that you have to think about photos, eulogies, what they want to wear. Even if it's a cremation and burial, families don't talk about any of these things, or not most, you know, most families just don't think. And if it happens suddenly, and you've got to think of and have a lot of options and lots of things you have to think about. I want to make it as easy as as possible for the families and that they know that on that day that those flowers will represent their loved ones and be a beautiful distraction sometimes too.

Robyn 10:10

They can be, and they can be something that they can focus on.

Personalizing Tributes With Stories

Jamee 10:16

Exactly, because it is confronting to think that your loved one is in nine times out of ten a coffin. (R: yep) and so.... but you want them to know that they are like that there's something with them and that they you can just look up a little bit and know that that that that is a yeah, something that their loved one would have either really loved or is a part of.

Robyn 10:38

Before I came into the funeral industry, um my aunt died, and she was an avid gardener, like you walked out into her backyard, and it was just flowers everywhere. And when we went up to the florist, I said to my uncle when we arranged the funeral, "don't spend a lot on her coffin, but spend a lot on her flowers".

Jamee 11:03

Thank you, Robyn. I thank you. Tell everyone that!

Beyond Catalogs: Bespoke Memorials

Robyn 11:04

B ut it was June, and so there weren't a lot of flowers around either. And and we're going back kind of probably to the 90s, (J: yes) uh, when that happened, and but all I all I could think about was the fact that the flowers, they were her life, (J: life), like literally, they had no children, and so she spent her whole time in the garden, yes, and these flowers were always magnificent. And I said, let's just and I'd been to a funeral not long before, where they actually it was magnificent. It was a friend of mine who died, so she died young, and her husband arranged it was like a um almost a casing over the top of the the flowers, completely covered the coffin. (J: Yes), yes, and it looked magnificent, and that that was the vision that I saw for for my aunt because it would have been perfect. She was flowers, you know. And so we went up to the uh local florist that I knew and and I worked in a little shopping centre and and that florist was there, and I explained to him what I wanted, and it was just beautiful. (J: Beautiful). I must add, my uncle came back to me many years later and said, "How come I spent all that money on flowers when somebody else only spent this much?" And I said, "Because they spent a lot more on the coffin than what you did."

Jamee 12:33

Yeah, it's all about that perspective too, and and that's what we do sometimes, especially if they were like an avid gardener, or we will ask for cuttings from their garden um if they want, or we will we've had people like bring in like massive branches from the tree. Um, I had one florist that we had this massive branch, and she literally had to wear protective eye goggles when she was making the casket spray because this branch was so huge, but it was so important. So I really love if, yeah, you'll, you know, your aunt, for instance, you said, Oh, she had these, and and we would love, you know, we do from the family pick up certain flowers if they're not all flowers are going to last, but incorporate that into that tribute if if gardening or was their passion or they were really proud of something. We love to do that, and we'll even go to people's homes um and they'll show us and we'll we'll take certain cuttings to make sure it's in that tribute. And some of it's a hundred percent from their garden, or some of it's just a little bit, depending on the season as well, or how much the family wants to give. So we love doing that, absolutely.

Robyn 13:36

And these are the things I think another big part of this podcast is for people to realise that you don't have to just do the mundane, you don't have to look in a book and pick that one.

Training, Teamwork, And Craft Standards

Jamee 13:48

Well, yeah, I had a like for example, I had a a family, and you know, they said, "Oh, dad didn't like flowers", and the funeral director said, "What did he like?" " Oh, fishing!". So we made a 'gone fishing' sign. So it was all still out of flowers, but it was sitting upright on the coffin. Then that we had they had his like fishing rod, but yeah, it had a big sign and just said 'gone fishing'. And they also that's I think it was like a nonno. They said, "That is Nonno." It was just he was gone fishing. We put some lures in the little in the corners, and yeah, you could clearly see gone fishing, and then they had his fishing like bits and pieces, and you can adorn the coffin also with some some memorabilia as well. And I think that all ties into who that person was and telling the story of their life because that's what a funeral is that day, is just telling the story of that person,

Robyn 14:29

and the flowers should reflect that as well.

Jamee 14:32

Yeah, that's what we really, really love to do, exactly. That's what I'm so passionate about.

Robyn 14:36

My my mother loved flowers, but requested one single red rose on hers.

Jamee 14:43

Yeah, and I think that's lovely too. You really wanted to tailor it to that person. We do single red roses or a yellow rose or you know, whatever, uh, one lily. Yeah, and that's just as beautiful too if that is to reflect their life.

Robyn 14:54

Because then at the end we put her Nana's lolly jar. (J: Yeah), you know, and it and it was just her. She was a very simple woman, she didn't like a lot of fuss being made of her, and that was her wish. And and she, I was, you know, because I work in the industry, obviously, I got her to speak to a funeral director without me there, so that made her own decisions and stuff like that about what she wanted. So she was very clear on because if I had've been there, I went, no, mum, you know you love flowers, we would have had to do this and stuff like that. Whereas I didn't want to influence her on anything, I just wanted to right. And the funeral director, who actually still is a funeral director, his name is Paul Newman.

Jamee 15:41

I love Paul. I've known Paul for 15, no, plus 20 years, and I sorry to interrupt Paul. I love my funeral directors. Like you can ask me about any funeral director, and and I... he's got a little granddaughter, Emily, that he loves. And so I've known Paul better part of 15 years, and I'm yeah, yeah. So I know exactly

Robyn 16:00

she loved the fact that he had this famous name, right?

Jamee 16:04

Bless. Have you told him that? Like he'll

The Surprising Practicalities: Weight And Care

Robyn 16:08

I don't, I know, I probably did at the time. I mean 16 years ago, but it was lovely industry, yeah. It's just helped her as well that he, you know, he was kind of like, and he, as you know, he he was such a lovely person and everything. So but but I was kind of I was probably about five, six, seven years in at that stage when when she died. So, but it was a whole, yeah, it was a whole interesting.

Robyn 16:34

So tell me how long have you been actually doing the funeral flowers?

Jamee 16:37

Like I was thinking about it yesterday, like when I was just kind of mentally preparing, and I'm like it'll be about about anywhere between 13 to 14 years. So yeah, but it's gone so fast. Like I feel like I've been in the industry forever and like I'm still in a newbie. So

Robyn 16:54

And did you have to train? Did you do ...

Jamee 16:57

No, I actually no, I didn't at this like the in so that floral tribute division, like in the family business, was already pre-kind of set up. So we had 20 floral stores across Melbourne starting in the 90s, and we finished up in about 2008. And so the floral tributes just kind of naturally became our niche. You know, we did weddings, we did events, we did corporates, and it just for us it was just a really natural fit to only focus on the funeral industry rather than trying to do it all.

Robyn 17:26

And so the business now only focuses on that part.

Jamee 17:31

I only do funeral flowers, correct.

Robyn 17:33

Yeah, ok.

Jamee 17:34

I don't do weddings, I don't do Mother's Day, Valentine's for the cut rose side, which is my dad's different, but I don't do any other floral thing. It's only funerals because I'm so passionate about it, and I want to make sure that what we create is really just spectacular and for the families. So that was kind of set up and I accidentally fell into it. I really wasn't ever going to go in the family business, I had no interest. I did my internship at IBM, thought I was gonna climb the corporate ladder and change the world in corporate, and I hated it. Robyn, I hated every minute because I didn't feel like I made a difference. I just didn't. (R: Right).

After The Service: Keeping Flowers Alive

Jamee 18:12

So with the funerals, like um, I didn't do any training, I was just kind of thrown in the deep end, had no idea. I didn't even know a Lysianthus from a rose from a lily, even though I had been around the flowers my whole life. (R: Right). And I just kind of learned and I made I did make a few mistakes, and luckily I had the grace of of a good manager and a good team, and I've I've continued to build a really great team of florists. Um, and I think that's the most important thing is to have a really good team around you. Um, so no, I didn't do any training, I had no idea about anything, and I just learned from the ground up, and yeah,

Robyn 18:47

I think sometimes that you don't get so confined (J: correct) in that something has to look a certain way.

Jamee 18:56

Yeah, yeah.

Working With Families And Directors

Robyn 18:57

So I'm very big on everything being completely square and all that sort of stuff. My husband, on the other hand, is like so if he moves things around on our kitchen bench and stuff like that, he'll put things on angles and everything. And I'm like, it does my head in, you know, and and that's just bit purely because when I was growing up, everything had to be in exact order. And I find it very hard to to move away. And I think that was one of the things when you train in anything, you're trained in a certain style. So I think it's when you listen to a a trained pianist and someone who just plays because they can, it's a very different sound, it's a very different kind of thing. So it's it's always quite interesting. But I think one of the things people don't realise when they see flowers on a coffin is how much they weigh.

Jamee 19:54

Yeah it is funny because I did have um uh like one of our funeral directors, she's like, "Can you not make them so heavy?" And I'm like, especially like native, certain flowers, like you know, if they've got a really woody stem, or you know, some of them are, you know, and especially they some of them are getting bigger if they want a lot of things. Um, some we put into two halves so they're not as heavy, but they because if people want to cover the coffin, (R: right) But yeah, you've got to have a certain skill to pick those those things up and delicately too, especially if you've got lilies, it's not like you can hold it against you or lean against it. You've got to have it at a certain angle. So, yeah, it does you've got to have a bit of finesse. You know, sometimes I see some of the FDAs flinging it about. I'm like, 'excuse you!', like handle that with a bit more care. And you've got to make sure the stems are properly in there because if they can be moved, you know, on the coffin, off the coffin, into the hearse, out of the hearse. So we're arranging, we really want to make sure that they're not too flimsy, that they just fall apart. That would be, you know, one of my biggest fears is that it gets finally to the service and half the stems are missing or anything, but they can, especially you want to water it as well because you want to make sure it lasts, especially if they're traveling a little bit as well. So yeah, they can some of those bad boys can can be quite heavy.

Robyn 21:08

I just about dropped one when the very first time that a funeral director said to me, "Can you hold it? Can you just hold these flowers for me?" And like they handed them to me as if they were like light. And I just about like went, ' Oh my heavens, how long have I got to hold this for?' Because it was so heavy. And I thought it didn't look heavy.

Jamee 21:31

No, no, I understand. Yes,

Robyn 21:33

It didn't look heavy, and I don't know how much it weighed. I just knew that because your arms are out as well, because of that flowers coming out, you've got your arms right out. It's very hard to hold something really heavy with your arms out.

Seasonality, Quality, And Ethics

Jamee 21:48

The average one I would say, the average one's about eight kilos, like average, some are lighter, obviously, small, and they can go up to 15 kilos. And so, yeah, when you've got to have it at a certain angle, and it's not like two people can hold it or help you.

Robyn 22:02

No, yeah, and there was, you know, I was like, where can I put this down? Where can I put this down? Because I'm not gonna be able to hold it for a long time, you know? Uh, but they um I I think one of the other really , I think it's sad for me in a way, is when, and I don't know whether people realise this or not, but when the flowers are left and taken to the crematorium, the because they they have such a high water content and stuff like that, that a lot of the time they don't put them in the the cremator, and because it pits the the cremator and stuff like that. And so they'll actually be mulched up and put back into the garden. And I always think that's such a shame because it's such a beautiful thing that you can take home and pull the flowers apart.

Jamee 22:53

I think more people are doing that, Robyn. I definitely know with one of um my clients, we definitely have started probably in the last two years, but now when other people see it, we put a sign in the tribute saying, please take a rose in loving memory of.

Robyn 23:07

Yes.

Jamee 23:07

And I know some of the funeral directors as well, they do make small posies out of it to give to family members. So I do think that is kind of a growing trend, as well, for people to take and and people, you know, want to press a flower dry or even just keep it in the vase for a couple of days after.

Robyn 23:24

So as a celebrant, I'm often given a a flower or you know, a little bunch of flowers or something from the family from it. And I just take them home, put them in a vase, and I think of that person each day that they're alive.

Jamee 23:38

Yeah, so I do think that is like a really good idea for, and that probably more comes from the funeral directors suggesting that as well. But definitely with one of my clients, I I think I nearly every other day probably more are printing a card saying please take a flower in loving memory of um and then insert the spray. Yeah, and we love that too. We want people to enjoy it.

Robyn 24:00

So how do you uh what are the questions that you because you don't generally you don't meet the family, right?

Jamee 24:10

I like yeah, 90% of my contact is through the funeral directors.

Robyn 24:14

Um what are the questions that you ask the funeral director to ask the family about flowers?

Logistics Under Pressure

Jamee 24:21

If the funeral director has maybe more of a family that are more specific on flowers, they will ask me to call them. And then that way I can because a lot of the funeral directors, especially the males, no offence, have no idea about flowers and don't know a lily from you know this and that. So when the family's more specific, they'll say, "Hey Jamie, can you please call this family? The daughter wants to", and then that way there's no miscommunication. And I love calling the families directly. I can also send them photos of things I've done in the past, or they can show me things that, you know, they'll go on Pinterest, or they might have something in the garden or whatnot. So they can send me photos.

Tech And AI Expectations Versus Reality

Purpose, Resilience, And Creativity

Jamee 24:57

So yeah, 90% is just the funeral director. But when you get those extra families that really want, you know, something a bit more bespoke, or so I have a catalogue that um the funeral directors give to the family for them to peruse and kind of have a look at. And we custom anything beyond that. So yeah, I the funeral director will probably sit down with the family, show my catalogue, and the family will say, "Oh, we like this, can we have this?" Or they'll be inspired by, you know, I have one called the Aussie Outback, for instance, and it's just a selection of native grasses and native foliages. And it was predominantly for men, but a lot of women have been choosing it. And then we'll put dad's hat on it, like an Akubra or something, or I've even put like a um a cement, you know, those cement trail, though flattening. I don't know what the cement, you know, a trail, is it trowel? Sorry. So we'll put a piece of item on top, but it's more native grasses. You know, dad loved the bush, or he was more of a, you know, um, he loved camping or whatnot. So we can tailor that to that family, or yeah, so it just depends on on mainly the funeral director, to be completely honest, on how engaged and involved they are in that process. And then the family's decision. Some families don't really, flowers aren't important to them, and they want to, as you said, spend more money on the coffin or more money on refreshments or and just have something simple. Um, whereas some families, yeah, especially if they want something more bespoke, um, I will definitely directly communicate with them to make sure we get exactly what they want. And I'll send them a photo the day before the service and say, "this is what we've created. Are you happy? Do you want any changes?" Is there something missing? Because you do sometimes get things lost in translation from what they see in their head. Yeah, and so I think now with phones and and the internet and and um what it makes it a little bit easier because families can maybe do a bit of their own research prior to and then come to the funeral director and the arrangement and say, "This is what we've been looking at." And that, you know, the funeral director flipped me over the photo and say, is this possible? And we'll say, yes, no, we'll tailor it, you know, certain things might not be in season. If, like, say they really want daffodils, but daffodils aren't in season, I'll let them know we can source artificial daffodils if that is really important to it, might represent something (R: ok) to the family member. So I want to use fresh and local where possible. I always try and support the local growers when within season. But if they say, "look, mum really, really loved these", then we will get artificial ones in just to represent that part of what was so important to the loved one on that.

Robyn 27:30

Yeah. I think one of the most beautiful, well, I've actually I've had a lot. I, you know, three thousand services, you do see a few flowers, but but one of the ones that really struck a chord with me was a uh beautiful grass one. This lady had a disability and she loved grass, so she would go out and sit on the grass and she she would she was just, grass was her whole life, and so uh the the florist did a whole lot of different grasses in kind of like little boxes that sat inside this wooden box, and it was just so perfect for her.

Jamee 28:14

I love that

Robyn 28:15

The family, her two sisters lived in uh South Australia, and they wrote the most beautiful letter to the funeral director and myself about how perfectly the whole thing described her. The whole funeral was so her and how appreciative they were of the little things like the grass, like the the uh a verse that I wrote for her that reflected who she was. And and that's what people want. They want it to reflect the person that they love.

Jamee 28:52

Absolutely, absolutely,

Robyn 28:53

and you just don't realize this. Uh I've still got the letter because I'm you know my own.

Rapid-Fire Reflections And GrandiFlora’s Name

Jamee 28:58

I know you love when you get those little positive re like you don't get a lot all the time, which is fine because the family, but when you do get that little little email, little comment, it it does reinforce like why you do what you do, why you love it, and you have really just made something probably really emotional for that family just to to be give them a bit of solace, really, and and yeah, so

Robyn 29:19

yeah, it's isn't it amazing? Because I I mean it is less and less and less now that people, I had a , filing drawer full of thank you cards and orders of service and all sorts of things and and everything that that I had kept. Now I I I'll get a text or um I I had a beautiful message the other day that said, "Can we leave you a Google review somewhere?" And I went, "no, no, I'm trying to cut down on doing funerals. I actually don't need any more". I'm trying to because I don't know whether you know or not, but I run the Rebecca Jane Foundation.

Jamee 29:57

Yes, okay, that's where you got my name. Okay, so we're

Robyn 30:00

do yeah so we we allow the contributes beautiful yeah and so we obviously you know pay for the funerals of babies when parents can't afford it in case anyone doesn't know which they probably do because I mention it a bit but um it's when yeah and now I've completely lost my track of thought but that's okay so

Jamee 30:17

no so you're you're winding down because you're focusing on the foundation so you can take you appreciate it but yeah yeah yeah yeah but it yeah they

Robyn 30:27

but it does make a huge difference when you get that little message and I wrote back and I said "look that is just so very kind of you but thanks for no thanks".

Jamee 30:37

I had the same because we had a lady and she loved it she said where "can I can I shout you out on Instagram or can I" and I said "look we're actually not to the public" and so that's like where we sit like we love what we do and I said I like "I appreciate that so much it means a lot" because it means that they love what you do but I said "we're directly to the funeral director" so yes yeah so I completely understand

Closing Philosophy And Listener Invitation

Robyn 30:56

it's lovely but it's you don't want to yeah (J:I understand) so so people might not understand that process of how that works so tell us about like from when you get the phone call from the funeral director because then the like do they give you how, how often do they give you this is what they want what happens from there it gets made you deliver it to the funeral director is that correct to the funeral parlours yeah so so basically from start nine times out of ten they'll email me now the order form so it'll have the day of the funeral you know the deceased name and then the floral code and then any notes that whether they're changing the colour or or whatnot and if there's any like confusion or something that I'm not sure on obviously we'll write back but nine times out of ten because we've just refined how we we like what we how we help the funeral directors they have complete confidence once they've placed the order with me that that'll be fine.

Robyn 31:57

So then we make the funeral flowers the day before the funeral and then I do like a confirmation coordination to make sure that we're happy with everything. I'll send a photo to the funeral director if it's a bit more different and bespoke or something that's a bit out of the ordinary to make sure the family's happy and then yeah the flowers get delivered overnight to the funeral director. So anywhere from Werribee, St. Albans all the way down to Rosebud. So I have four drivers that go out to make sure that everything's delivered safely and to the funeral parlours and then they're ready and then that way the funeral director when they come in in the morning they know that the flowers are there they check them make sure that it's exactly what the family wanted and yeah so it sounds pretty simple but it it can be can be a lot. There's a lot of coordination and everything in this isn't there you know and I say to people all the time you know the funeral directory is pulling together a whole lot of stuff for you.

Jamee 32:54

And I think people just don't understand or appreciate it. So the fact that I can make that process for them simple and easy like yeah because I have so much to do I don't think you know people from the outside realise as a funeral director like it's not just the oh there's so many asset elements to it you know whether it's booking the church the catering getting photos from the family like talking to the celebrant getting the flowers changing of dates like it it is I don't know how they do it all like some of them um especially if they yeah so

Robyn 33:27

believe it or not like most people wouldn't realise they don't get paid that much.

Jamee 33:32

I agree I think it's undervalued I absolutely I look at all my funeral directors and I just I think I for what they do and

Robyn 33:38

they go above and beyond

Jamee 33:40

above and beyond some some of them oh my gosh they give their whole life and and they love what they do and I I can understand why but yeah for the return like they're on call 24/7 some of them like 24/7 and give their whole life up and they love what they do but yeah I think it's very undervalued as a funeral director. Absolutely yeah

Robyn 34:00

s o what do you think have been the biggest challenges that you faced in your work

Jamee 34:06

Oh challenges I mean oh you really put me on the spot there I guess really educating people on flowers to an extent like as in because they don't deal like with flowers all the time you know if something's not in season it's not, it's not because I couldn't be bothered to get it it's just not around.

Robyn 34:32

It's not growing.

Jamee 34:32

You know it takes me over 10 days to open a lily and I want that lily to be absolutely perfect for that for that service but I'm not gonna get the order necessarily 10 days beforehand. So I've got to have 400 lilies in my warehouse at any one time based on predicting I might get an order. And maybe lilies aren't in vogue that week um you know or it's going to be 40 degrees Robyn and I've got a whole deck and you know lilies don't like, so I guess also yeah for educating the client as in one for handling and also I came from an like back in the day and depending on the florist and I'm not I'm not foofooing any florist like everyone each their own the mentality especially in the 80's and 90's was like well the funeral's only for an hour so let's just grab the stuff that probably should be in the bin. Wouldn't put that together put that together and just it won't matter but we can charge a premium because it's for a funeral and I even still get that with some of my wholesalers like I'll say "I'm not I'm not accepting those" whatever the flower is and they're like "why it's only for a funeral" I said "no excuse me it is for a funeral and it's important" I want the freshest, the best quality I'll pay a bit more for you know a a lily I pay the highest price for lilies because I want to make sure it is perfect and it is beautiful. And so I think I'm coming from a lot of mentalities like oh well dad's flowers were just old and crap so let's not spend money on the flowers because like they it's only you know whereas I've really changed I felt I I've changed the the perspective for my funeral directors to say these flowers look amazing like wow and so that's been a challenge to educate the funeral director to have confidence in selling my product because I'm not talking to the to the families necessarily. S o the fact that the funeral directors can see that I've got a product quality product that they're they are confident in selling as well, you know when they're sitting with a family, they want to make sure that they have confidence to say this funeral like this florist knows what she's doing and I can assure you they will look better than the photo or better than and I want to exceed the expectations of the family for that day.

Robyn 36:46

And I I think that comes back to that thing about people taking the flowers home afterwards. I know with I did a a friend's partner's funeral and uh the flowers were just absolutely magnificent and and he gave me one of the flowers and I took it home and that flower lasted nearly two weeks and two weeks yeah each each week you know every few days I would send him the flowers it gradually you know declined and and I was able to say "look at Jenny's flower today, you know it's still going just the way she fought to stay alive" yeah this flower is fighting to stay alive.

Jamee 37:26

I love when I get those emails from from families just saying "oh but they're still going" and I'm like you know it should be

Robyn 37:33

If they're fresh they will right?

Jamee 37:34

yeah yeah absolutely yeah

Robyn 37:37

So tell us do you have a trick for keeping flowers fresh because you see all sorts of things you see you see sugar you see all sorts

Jamee 37:46

That's all that's all wives tales like you know especially a lot of my arrangements are in oasis because we've got to arrange it so that yeah so it's in a tray and it's in oasis. So for us it's just obviously keeping the oasis hydrated.

Jamee 37:59

Do not spray the floral head with a spray gun Robyn like you know the the um I see funeral director's got little water guns or you know the spray yeah yeah we don't drink through their heads. S o you're gonna mark the lily you're gonna mark like like it's like me spraying my face I might get refreshed but it's not gonna hydrate me! So keep them as cool as possible prior to the service you know don't want to keep them in a big hot um area and just water in the base. But it for flowers at home don't do sugar, that just creates more bacteria. I I just I don't understand where that came from. If you've got roses you want to put a teeny teeny tiny bit of bleach in the vase just to kill the bacteria. Not a lot and just cutting the stems every couple of days because the end of the stem on a flower it's going to start to shrivel and die. You'll notice if you look at the bottom so you just want to give it a little trim so it can keep sucking the water up because it's going to be harder for it to suck the water up as that end of the stem kind of starts to to deteriorate and just keep them yeah cool. Like you know you don't want them in a big hot room or anything.

Robyn 39:07

Yes, yes and and heating in winter doesn't help that with a centrally heated house right yeah you know compared to if it's a nice like today weather and it cools down and warms up during the day it's it's a little bit uh

Jamee 39:21

That's a challenge for us you know if the funeral's not till two - three o'clock in the afternoon and it's all lilies. I'll get a call from the funeral director saying "oh we've had in the garage all day" and I'm like "come on guys" like bless. S o you know that's.... well a challenge also is like when the funeral director calls me and they're like "um we've got a funeral in the hour and we've forgotten to order flowers".

Robyn 39:43

Oh no

Jamee 39:44

Yeah it happens more than you know, you put all the checks and balances, but they're human the dates changed, they thought they'd done that, yeah yeah and so yeah a challenge is like they'll say um we've got a funeral in the hour it's on the other side of town but nine times out of ten we'll we'll make sure we get something there for you like you just yeah we don't want to let the families down and and the funeral directors are human too right so.

Robyn 40:02

That's right and and I mean yeah we happens something happens to all of us at some stage, you know you you're never gonna have it that it's life is perfect. So so this all this talk about AI where do you think that your future technology will fit into the funeral flower industry?

Jamee 40:23

I mean I think for the time being, we'll always need labour, obviously for like labour to create the arrangements unless there's going to be some robotics like down down the line that's gonna create it. I do the only thing I the, first of all families do kind of show us some photos that are completely AI from and they they're expecting the the the funeral flowers to look exactly like it.

Robyn 40:47

And it's not gonna happen.

Jamee 40:48

And the funeral director like sent me the photo and she's like "oh the family wants this" and it was like purple lily whatever it was and I said "darling right under it it says AI generated" like like that like I I'm a magician but I'm not you know and and you've got to give them the expectations so AI I'm not completely au fait with it yet Robyn to the extent that I should be. I do listen to a couple of podcasts in the background of where it's going like with the chat GPT and and that I'm not really up to date with I'm probably got my head in the sand a little bit.

Robyn 41:23

But and it's a manual thing that you're doing too which is makes it a little bit different but I I wondered about and it was exactly what you were you said that I thought would maybe the challenge of people generating what they want on AI that's not a reality, that they don't come like that. Flowers don't stand like that. Yeah I used to make artificial flowers for a hospital when I was very young with a young child and my aunt ran the the kiosk and so I you know she taught me how to do the floral things there and everything. And so I know there are certain things that you just can't do. And and I I kind of like go yeah it's all very well for AI to generate something that looks spectacular.

Jamee 42:13

Yeah absolutely

Robyn 42:14

but can that be a reality in unless we start what do they call it 3D printing flowers and I think we're a fair way off that yet.

Jamee 42:24

I think so too yeah but yeah I think

Robyn 42:27

um okay is there anything that you would like to tell the people who are listening about your business, your role, that you think that they would like to know?

Jamee 42:43

I think we've covered a lot of it to be completely honest. Like I not necessarily like just my business I I do just really I guess just can't reiterate how passionate I am about what I do like as In for Flowers and I guess also with the like the funeral directors just them having confidence in in me like that is my biggest my biggest yeah is just to make sure that those funeral directors just can trust me and that's the biggest and families I think yeah without that trust I I just couldn't do what I do.

Robyn 43:16

And so one of the questions I was going to ask but I realised that you were so very much like me was how do you stay emotionally resilient and maintain a work a healthy work life balance in this field and I'm guessing like me you don't have any balance and because you love what you do.

Jamee 43:37

Yeah 100% I yeah I'm always on call for my family or what you know my clients and the families they know that they can contact me any hour. But I love it I you know

Robyn 43:48

 It doesn't feel like work does it?

Jamee 43:48

I really do, well some days it does let me tell you like when you've got that annoying client, no but I I am so passionate I just love it so much. So for me it's not like it's a burden or a drain or I everyday I mean I end up watching anywhere between 10, 20, 30 funerals a day just quickly just to see what's happening. I'm so engaged on how can I make my product better? What how can I service my families better? What am I missing? What other aspects and elements or or services can I help the funeral director to make their jobs and lives and and really create something really special for all of our families. L ike I made we made one um we worked with the funeral director especially for young children and young you know children or people that were taken too soon we made a really beautiful like rainbow and so we had like we made it on like a cloud almost and then we had the, because she loved rainbows and bubbles and then we put a bubble machine behind it and just created something just something so beautiful for for that family as well. And so I always want to think outside the box of just not okay here's your 10 red roses or here's this I really every day think what else can I add to really make that funeral and their loved ones life really memorable and yeah.

Robyn 45:10

Right. Okay. To wrap up our sessions as a big fan of The Actors Studio I'm going to take a leaf from their book and ask a series of questions of each of our guests.

Robyn 45:23

So what is your favourite word and why?

Robyn 45:28

What's my favourite word and why? Robyn oh my goodness, favourite word,

Robyn 45:34

And it's not allowed to be a swear word

Jamee 45:39

So I I have a coach and a mentor and every year I pick a word that I want to kind of like encapsulate and so my word of the year this year is 'elevate' and that's from elevating my you know my goals, elevating who I spend my time with, elevating my work, elevating what I read. So this year and I've we're coming to the end of the year so and I think I've encapsulated my my word is elevate, in all areas of my life.

Robyn 46:10

What is the thing you are most grateful for in your life?

Jamee 46:14

My family, my my family, I yeah

Robyn 46:19

If you could work in any other role than what you do now what would it be?

Jamee 46:24

I'd be a celebrant I would 100% want to be a funeral celebrant (R: really?) yeah I I in my next life, because I'm never leaving this one, but in my next life I would love I really would love to be a funeral celebrant I'm not just saying that like honestly it's been something that I've really considered for a while as well.

Robyn 46:41

Wow, what is the sound that you love the most?

Jamee 46:45

Probably quiet, probably just peace, just quiet.

Robyn 46:51

If you could have one if you could have dinner with one person living or dead who would it be?

Jamee 46:58

just one? (R: yes) probably Oprah, actually I know like that sounds really like simple but yeah I think Oprah, I think I'd love to meet her yeah

Robyn 47:11

What do you think is the most important lesson in life that you've learnt so far?

Jamee 47:16

Have a little bit more patience and don't stress so much.

Robyn 47:20

And directly from the actor's studio, if there is a heaven what would you want God to say to you when you're met at the Pearly Gates?

Jamee 47:29

That you've left a legacy

Robyn 47:31

Excellent, what a beautiful thing. I was going to ask you one more question.

Robyn 47:37

When we spoke before we talked about your grandparents but you didn't mention what the name came from, how the name came about

Jamee 47:47

So my Oma, because their English was not was still really really poor, but she knew that the word grandi flora meant big flower. So you think grandi - big flora - flower and so and it just y,eah and so it means yeah big flower and I love that.

Robyn 48:06

Isn't that beautiful because it's so simple and yet so beautiful it's a beautiful name.

Jamee 48:13

Yeah and I just yeah it's just synonymous with with us really just a big blooming flower.

Robyn 48:21

Beautiful, thank you so much for your time Jamee as we wrap up this podcast.

Jamee 48:26

Th ank you Robyn I appreciate it.

Robyn 48:29

If you have a question you would like to ask or another topic about death that you'd like to learn about please drop an email to ask@ladyofdeath.com.au and we will look at possibly doing a podcast of questions that you've always wanted to know but never knew where to go to or were game enough to ask. This is Robyn O'Connell the Lady of Death whose philosophy is, for everyone to embrace life fully yet be prepared for its natural end, ensuring when that time comes it's not just an ending but a true and authentic representation of the unique life you lived.

Robyn 49:03

Thanks, talk to you next time!