Ep 106: Habits of a Whole Heart with Arnie Herz and guest AJ Reisman P2 on hmTv

Episode 106: Habits of a Whole Heart with Arnie Herz and AJ Reisman (Part 2)
hmTv Original Podcast Series – Humanity Matters

In this heartfelt continuation of their dialogue, host Arnie Herz welcomes back writer and entrepreneur AJ Reisman for Part 2 of a powerful conversation on meaning, mortality, and mindful living. Together, they explore how contemplating death can deepen our appreciation for life, how gratitude—even for something as simple as modern plumbing—can transform our mindset, and why being present is one of the rarest and most valuable habits in today's world.

AJ shares stories about parenting, unplugging, and his own near-death experience, while Arnie reflects on the profound impact of human connection and kindness during a personal health crisis. From ancient Stoic philosophy to everyday acts of compassion, the conversation centers around one guiding question: Where am I needed?

This episode is a moving meditation on legacy, presence, and the transformative power of small acts of love. Whether you’re seeking inspiration, healing, or just a reminder of what truly matters, this conversation will leave you uplifted and introspective.

Listen in and discover the habits that make a heart whole.

Transcript

Episode 106 – Habits of a Whole Heart with Arnie Herz and Guest AJ Reisman (Part 2)
hmTv

Arnie Herz:
Hello, my name is Arnie Herz and welcome to this podcast, Habits of a Whole Heart, hosted on hmTv. I'm here with my friend AJ Reisman. This is part two of our conversation. As I shared previously, AJ is an incredibly thoughtful person—he’s a blogger and also the author of a children’s book.

AJ, thank you for sharing your wisdom in our last episode. We ended episode one by beginning to explore the idea of finding meaning through the reality of death. It seems almost contradictory—why think about death if we want to live a vibrant life? But you were bringing in ideas from the Stoics. I’d love to hear your continued thoughts on how reflecting on death helps us live meaningfully.

AJ Reisman:
Yeah, it’s interesting. If we think about everyone alive today, each of us comes from a lineage of survivors. If even one ancestor hadn’t made it—if they’d fallen ill, been in a war, walked the wrong way in a forest—we wouldn’t be here. Just recognizing how lucky we are to be here, right now, is something I carry with me every day.

And that sense of wonder doesn’t have to come from grand events. It’s in the everyday. Like going to the bathroom—most people don’t think about it, but when you flush the toilet, that’s a marvel. The plumbing system, the infrastructure, gravity—all of it. Many people in the world don’t have access to that. We can be grateful even for the smallest things, and that habit of noticing changes how I experience life.

Arnie Herz:
So you’re connecting thoughts of mortality, gratitude for simple things—even plumbing—and recognizing how much we have to be thankful for. That reminds me of visiting Versailles recently. There was no plumbing back then—it was filthy, unsanitary, a cesspool really. And now, look at modern Paris. So much we take for granted.

When we really practice gratitude, what changes inside us? How does that shift who we are? And is that sense of gratitude something most people are even experiencing on a daily basis?

AJ Reisman:
One of my virtual mentors, Seth Godin, says, “Do you know who the world’s worst boss is? Yourself.” We’re often our own harshest critics. Lack of gratitude can feed into that. But when you practice gratitude—even for plumbing—it softens that inner critic. You’re less caught up in what’s wrong and more focused on what’s right.

Thinking about death can work the same way. Knowing that life is finite brings a sharper focus. Instead of sadness, I feel deeper appreciation for the time I do have.

Arnie Herz:
But doesn’t thinking about death bring a certain sadness? If we know our vacation will end, doesn’t that ruin the experience?

AJ Reisman:
Only if you let it. There are 86,400 seconds in a day. That’s a lot. If you’re constantly worried about tomorrow, you miss out on today. The key is to live in the moment.

Arnie Herz:
So what does living in the present actually look like for you?

AJ Reisman:
For me, it’s about removing distractions. Like going for a walk and just noticing—being aware when my mind drifts. Also, for the last year and a half, I’ve avoided checking messages on Saturdays. Not for religious reasons, but to be present. It’s liberating.

Arnie Herz:
So being present with people, unplugging, letting go of the pull of our phones—that becomes an act of connection and meaning.

AJ Reisman:
Exactly. We go on vacation to escape, but everyone’s glued to their phones. Why? Dopamine. Social media gives us little hits of gratification. But it takes us away from just being—watching the water, feeling the sun, noticing the sky.

Arnie Herz:
My wife and I were in France at Monet’s gardens. It was like walking through a painting. You could see how deeply present he was—how he captured each moment with care and awe. Van Gogh did the same with haystacks—painting the same scene over and over because each moment had new beauty.

AJ Reisman:
Yes, and it’s in that noticing, that slowing down, that we find awe.

Arnie Herz:
Speaking of awe—three summers ago, I had a brain bleed. I overheard a doctor tell my wife I had a 50% chance of surviving the weekend. That kind of moment—being completely conscious but unable to move—shifts your reality. I was filled with immense gratitude, realizing that most things we think matter… really don’t.

AJ Reisman:
And yet, here you are. That moment of vulnerability—those are the moments that change us. I remember when you gave me feedback on my startup. That helped me more than you know. It was a turning point for me, and here we are, sitting on this podcast. Full circle.

Arnie Herz:
Thank you. That’s what matters—how we impact each other. And that’s what Habits of a Whole Heart is about. When we reach beyond ourselves to help someone else, something beautiful happens. We shift from asking “What do I need?” to “Where am I needed?” That’s where joy lives.

AJ Reisman:
That’s beautiful. And in the hospital, you and Suzanne lived that. Ordering breakfast for the staff. Connecting with people from all over the world. Simple acts of kindness like that can be so powerful.

Arnie Herz:
Yes. And then the sister at the hospital brought us Shabbat candles. That gesture… it was deeply moving. Again, it’s about reaching beyond yourself. That’s where meaning lives.

AJ Reisman:
It reminds me of a story about my grandmother. She went to the same hairdresser every Saturday for decades. One Saturday, she was late and her hairdresser had saved her a pumpernickel bagel—just for her. That small act? She remembered it forever.

Arnie Herz:
It’s these little things. They last.

I want to read something from your blog, “Becoming a Camper.” You wrote about walking your daughters into camp, how they held your hands and eventually let go. It was a metaphor for parenting—and for life. That letting go, that independence—it’s beautiful. And in your blogging, you’re giving your daughters a gift, a connection to you they can always have.

AJ Reisman:
Exactly. They haven’t read my posts yet, but I hope one day they will. It’s my way of leaving a part of me behind for them.

Arnie Herz:
And your company, Arbor, helps others do the same. Capturing their stories, leaving a legacy. It’s meaningful work.

You’ve inspired me to reflect more, to slow down. Whether it’s writing, walking, or noticing, it’s about focus. What’s your biggest takeaway from this conversation?

AJ Reisman:
Honestly, I came on wondering what I had to offer. But I’ve realized—everyone has a story, everyone has wisdom. As Emerson said, “Every person is my superior in one way.” We can all learn from each other.

Arnie Herz:
Yes. And if we want to live a whole life, we must learn from everything. Not because everything happens for the best—but because we can make the best of everything that happens.

AJ, thank you so much for being here. And thank you to our listeners for joining us on Habits of a Whole Heart. Please follow hmTv for more inspiring episodes in our Humanity Matters series. Wishing you meaning, purpose, and upliftment in your life.