Ep 315: Raised by Survivors with Bernie Furshpan and guest Gayle Saks on hmTv

Raised by Survivors — Episode 315
Guest: Gayle Saks
Host: Bernie Furshpan
Produced by HMTC / hmTv

In this powerful episode of Raised by Survivors, host Bernie Furshpan sits down with writer, counselor, and mental-health advocate Gayle Saks, the daughter of a hidden child Holocaust survivor from Belgium. With honesty, humor, and unflinching courage, Gayle opens up about her mother’s trauma, her struggles with mental illness, and the legacy of silence and survival that shaped her childhood.

Gayle shares how inherited trauma intersected with her own life journey — from growing up in Roslyn, to supporting individuals battling addiction, to sitting across from people with swastika tattoos while working in re-entry counseling. She talks about grief, depression, humor as medicine, raising a compassionate daughter, and her mission to help children who have lost parents to addiction through her grief camp.

This conversation moves between memory and laughter, pain and purpose, reminding us that being raised by survivors means more than carrying trauma — it means carrying resilience, compassion, and responsibility forward.

A raw and uplifting exploration of legacy, healing, mental health, and what it means to find light where others only see darkness.

Transcript

Raised by Survivors – Episode 315
Host: Bernie Furshpan
Guest: Gayle Saks
hmTv / HMTC

Welcome everyone. I’m Bernie Furshpan, host of Raised by Survivors here on hmTv at the Holocaust Memorial and Tolerance Center. This show gives voice to the children and grandchildren of Holocaust survivors. We talk about inherited trauma, resilience, humor, and the memory that shapes who we become.

Today we welcome Gayle Saks. Gayle lives in the Berkshires in Massachusetts. She has written about everything from her mother’s suicide, to online dating disasters, to a failed colonoscopy, to her work with inmates and people battling addiction. Her voice is raw, honest, and hilarious. Sometimes if you do not laugh, you drown. Gayle is also the daughter of a Holocaust survivor who spent her teenage years hiding in Belgium. That legacy shaped her identity, her motherhood, her work in substance abuse recovery, and her understanding of mental health.

And you might also know Gayle from her viral moment as “the woman who had a hot flash at the Jay-Z concert” on HuffPost Live. Healing takes many forms.

Gayle, thank you for joining me. You crossed state lines, over the river and through the woods, to be here.

Gayle:
I am thrilled. I would not have missed it. Although my ferry was canceled last night, so I stayed in a hotel. No breakfast this morning though.

Bernie:
You deserve a good lunch after this. Thank you for being here to talk about what you have been through and the incredible work you do. You are a treasure to many people. Let’s jump in. We both grew up as children of hidden child survivors. A rare group. We inherited trauma, but we inherited resilience too.

Tell us about your mother’s story in Belgium.

Gayle:
My mother was one of six children. Four of the older ones were taken to Auschwitz after being transported from Belgium. In the beginning of the war, they were only taking the eldest children, which I still do not fully understand. My mother, her youngest brother Henry, and their mother were hidden by the Jewish underground in a basement in Brussels for about two years.

They could only see people’s feet going by the window. There was a false wall and if there was a threat, they would pile into that space. My uncle still has nightmares about staring at the tiles on the floor during raids. That level of fear leaves a mark.

Bernie:
And after the war came a different kind of battle. Grief, depression, pain. Your mother suffered deeply.

Gayle:
She did. Growing up, she never talked about it. She could not watch Holocaust films. Her first mental health crisis happened during a rare family vacation. Soon after she was hospitalized after a suicide attempt, and that is when I started learning the truth. My family did not keep secrets from me. They told me what I could understand at each age. That transparency shaped me.

Bernie:
She made multiple attempts?

Gayle:
Yes. People assume attempts are always cries for help. I do not think that was the case for her. I think the pain was just unbearable, and she did not have the tools we have today.

Bernie:
My father would wake up crying in the middle of the night. I did not know why. Later I learned. Survivors carried unimaginable pain. Many suffered in silence.

Gayle:
My mom was manic depressive, now called bipolar. She would stay in a dark room for days with blinds closed and a sleep mask on. It mirrored the darkness she survived. You tiptoed around her. There was never stability.

Bernie:
And now you have a daughter. How has this legacy shaped motherhood for you?

Gayle:
I have one daughter. She is incredibly compassionate and she is going into social work. When I finally told her about my mother, she comforted me. She saw me. And I never hide anything from her. I speak openly about feelings. I did not want secrecy or shame in our house.

Bernie:
You talk about mental health openly. Why does that matter?

Gayle:
It matters because silence kills. Stigma kills. We have to talk about depression, trauma, grief. People need to see they are not alone. There are hotlines, therapists, support. Friends. And yes, sometimes humor. Sometimes music. Sometimes hiking. Community matters. Tools matter. You have to find what works for you.

Bernie:
Humor is healing.

Gayle:
Absolutely. My husband and I laugh constantly. Laughter keeps you afloat. Sometimes it might even heal you. I watch Schitt’s Creek in a loop when I need comfort.

Bernie:
For me it is the Three Stooges. Low-tech healing. Whatever works.

You also work with people in recovery and run a camp for children who have lost parents to addiction.

Gayle:
Yes. Our camp is four nights, five days. If we could make it longer, we would. The bonds are incredible. These kids deserve joy. They deserve support and love. We hold gatherings year-round so they stay connected.

Bernie:
Let’s shift to identity. You grew up a Jewish girl from Roslyn.

Gayle:
Bagels, whitefish, herring every Sunday. Bar and bat mitzvahs every weekend. Not religious, but deeply culturally Jewish. Long Island accents feel like home.

Bernie:
You have seen antisemitism in your professional life too. People you worked with had swastika tattoos, coded numbers…

Gayle:
Yes. Sitting across from someone with a swastika tattoo was shocking. I said nothing. It was a strange moment. I focused on my work. Later, in recovery counseling, someone pointed out Nazi code tattooed on another man’s knuckles. These moments remind you hate still exists.

Bernie:
And still, here you are choosing compassion, choosing healing, choosing humor.

Gayle:
It is the only way forward.

Bernie:
What gives you strength today that your mother did not have?

Gayle:
Community. Work. Friends. A huge network. Teenagers I work with who make me laugh every day. Access to joy. To therapy. To connection. My mother never had that.

Bernie:
Gayle, this conversation has been powerful. Your honesty is a gift. Being raised by survivors means carrying memory forward while carving our own path. Humor, resilience, compassion, love. Your story honors your mother. It breaks silence around mental illness. And it reminds us that understanding and truth save lives.

Thank you for being here.

Gayle:
Thank you. Truly.

Bernie:
And thank you to our listeners for joining us. I am Bernie Furshpan, host of Raised by Survivors on hmTv. Until next time.