Ep. 70: 30yrs Later He Discovered Child Abuse His Brain Buried | Lou Samara

Most of us believe we know our own story.

Where we’ve been. What shaped us. Why we are the way we are.

But what if a part of your life was buried so deeply… you didn’t even know it existed?

In this episode, I sit down with Lou Samara—a former police officer, high performer, and someone who, by all appearances, had it all together. But beneath the surface, something wasn’t right.

A constant feeling. A lack of peace. A life that never quite felt aligned.

What followed was a decades-long journey that uncovered a truth hidden since early childhood—one that reshaped everything he thought he knew about himself and ultimately led him toward healing, purpose, and freedom. 

This is a raw, honest conversation about identity, trauma, faith, and what it really takes to confront the parts of your story you don’t even remember.

🔑 Key Takeaways

• Your brain can hide trauma—but it never disappears.
  Even if you don’t remember it, unresolved experiences can quietly shape your behavior, relationships, and identity. 
• Feeling “off” is often a signal, not a flaw.
  That constant searching, frustration, or lack of alignment may point to something deeper beneath the surface. 
• Healing isn’t instant—it’s a process.
  Lou’s journey took years of intentional work, reflection, and courage to fully confront and release what was buried. 
• Your past doesn’t define you—but it does need to be faced.
  Avoidance keeps you stuck. Awareness creates the opportunity for freedom. 
• Emotional health and physical health are deeply connected.
  What you carry mentally and emotionally can show up in your body in powerful ways. 
• There is another side: peace, clarity, and purpose.
  When you begin to understand your story, you gain control over your life in a way that most people never experience.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:22

Folks, welcome back to another episode of Interesting Humans Podcast. My name is Jeff Hope, your host. Today I have Lou Samara. Folks, most people think they know their own story, me included, and frankly, I would bet money on it that I know my own story. Where they've been, what shaped them, why they are the way they are. But what happens when a piece of your life gets buried so deeply that you don't even know that it existed? Today's guest didn't come on the podcast to tell a story that he remembered. He came on to tell a story that he uncovered. A truth from when he was between two and five years old that ended up changing everything throughout his entire life. And being willing to share this uh this challenging story. So most people think they know their own story. Me included, I would say, uh yeah, I know my story, but I don't think I know it anymore. What happens when a piece of our life is buried so deep that we we don't even know that it existed? What happens there? We're gonna talk about that today. So with Lou, his story is that he he didn't remember, he didn't have a recollection, right? He had no recollection. So you're here to share a story. It's not something that you remember, it's actually the opposite. So you came on to tell a story that you uncovered right four and a half decades into life, and we're gonna talk about what happened, what happens in the brain that we can uh compartmentalize that. I I I can't wait to hear some of these answers. So it's a truth that came from when you were between two and five years old that really reshaped and changed everything across your life.

SPEAKER_02 2:25

Correct.

SPEAKER_00 2:26

So before we get into it, let me ask you what should listeners understand about you today?

SPEAKER_02 2:35

Today? I'm very fortunate. I have a great life. I'm blessed. I'm married to a beautiful woman. We have a fabulous marriage. We have a great relationship with my son, who's from a first marriage, and he's married now and doing great. Uh we're going out this weekend to visit him and his wife for his birthday. We all get along. Even his mom and I, and her, his mom, his grandmother, the whole side, we all get along fine. So our life, we don't have the relational stresses I did years ago. Yeah. And all of that, um, everything else is great. I'm on purpose. I'm living, you know, I got a second, third company going, and just out there hitting it, hitting PRs in the gym. I'm like, I didn't have PRs in the gym. Which is incredible. I want to put some of that B-roll in this episode. You're doing some incredible squats and squats and deadlifts and uh one arm press and kettlebells.

SPEAKER_00 3:32

What was the one video you showed me, like hundreds of pounds you deadlifted?

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Uh 365 deadlift. And you're how how I'm 63. Ah, I love it.

SPEAKER_00 3:41

So that's incredible right there.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

So my life has changed. If if I was um before, I don't think I would have been as healthy now, too. My health is really good.

SPEAKER_00 3:51

Yeah, because something came into alignment, and that's what we're gonna we're gonna get into. So, okay, and and your son's got a fascinating job. He does. Right. Great cooler. Tell us a little bit about that. I love it.

SPEAKER_02 4:03

So he's he's into video and um and he grew up with a camera at 13, and he started you know working in a church with our church and videoing, and then within it by 15 he was directing five cameras, two screens, and now he works for Hendrick Motorsports and Motor Group, and he does a lot of their videos, and he's he drives a quarter million dollar Porsche chasing after million-dollar Ferraris and he's videoing them, man.

SPEAKER_01 4:32

I'm like, what a great life you have. I want that life.

SPEAKER_02 4:35

So he's having a blast. He's having a blast, yeah. So cool. He's married, he loves his wife. You know, they're they're really everything is good.

SPEAKER_00 4:41

Yeah. So it's awesome. All right, let's talk about life before the big discovery. So, before therapy, what what felt off? Because we don't wake up and just say, I'm gonna start therapy today. What wasn't working?

SPEAKER_02 5:02

So, you you know, most of us don't really pay attention to what's going on under the surface, right? You grow up, you you know, here's what your parents did, here's what you do, what are you gonna do? Go to school, get a job, what's your career? I don't know. I never knew. But I always had a gnawing feeling that something wasn't right, but I didn't know what that was. It was just like I was always searching for something. Yeah, and most of my life I thought I was searching for freedom. I wanted to be free of right, just uh anything that held you back. And um, right before we discovered what we're gonna talk about, life was rough for me. So I had just come off a 12-year career as a police officer. I finished as uh SWAT and training, so that was I love SWAT, man. Just kicking indoors. Sorry, but for the guys, you know, you get it. Yeah, but um, and you get it, you're a law enforcement, you know. And um so loved that, but after having our son, things started to change, and I really I'm very kinesthetic, so I feel a lot, and I felt dirty coming home to my son. And I was like, this is weird. I mean, I just you know arrested somebody or had to put somebody out or whatever, you know, out of their house or whatever, and I come home and I go, he's so pure, and I was dirty because I was dealing with these people, right? So those kind of things were there, but there was never anything that maybe a little insecurity, right? Like if you came up and said, Man, you're this, I'd go, no, I'm not, I'll kick your butt, man, you know, right? So well, I'd say other things, right? Right. But um just was never truly content. Maybe that's the point there. I was never always, I moved to Colorado, I didn't want to, I'm from New Jersey, yeah, yeah, grew up there, Italian Catholic family, great family every Sunday, pasta at grandmas, you know. But you know, all the good stuff, but food was like, man, you gotta have food, and everything was about food, and everything was about family, and but I knew I had to get away, and that's why I went to Colorado, but I didn't still didn't know why.

SPEAKER_00 7:19

Yeah. No idea, that's incredible. All right. So, and your what age?

SPEAKER_02 7:24

Um, into my 30s. I mean, I had a career in law enforcement until I was 38, something like that.

SPEAKER_00 7:32

Yeah, 38, 39, 37, so do you how does this f phrase sit with you your when your insides match your outsides?

SPEAKER_02 7:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:42

Did you how does that like what does that mean? What does that mean to you?

SPEAKER_02 7:47

Uh it it means you're uh maybe the word is integrity or congruent, right? You're you're in alignment, really. That's the easiest way. You're you're in alignment. Uh I in the mid-90s I started down the self-development path and started listening to a lot of people, and they say your inner world creates your outer world. And I'm like, what does that mean? You know, I never got that right. But what is it about my inner world? What what does that mean? Is that my spirit? Is that my soul? Is that my mind? Is that my gut? Yeah, who knew, right? And then so, but what I've learned is that subconscious mind is always working and it's always there, and that is where to me, the Lord meets us, that's where we meet ourselves, yeah, is in our inner, inner mind.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

So you looked great. Let's go into your 30s. You looked great, you were fit, you were all that stuff. And to the eye, the the general public sort of look at you and go, you got it all together. Yeah, right? Does that sound sound pretty accurate?

SPEAKER_02 8:53

All the time. People always said, Man, you you you're great, man. We wish we were like you. And I'm like, You do? I wish I was like you. You know, I just I was just never, just never like, just never felt whole, maybe. There's something. It's great.

SPEAKER_00 9:07

So so so searching, then an event happens. And you get on a plane, you fly to Oklahoma, take over.

SPEAKER_02 9:16

All right. So building up to that event, uh, I was no longer on a SWAT team. I was working in corporate America in the pharmaceutical industry, fixing lab equipment, uh, and um just just not having our marriage was in not in a good place, and that eventually was failing pretty close there. I had been in marriage counseling for eight years by myself.

SPEAKER_00 9:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 9:44

My my my former wife, she was in for six months and said, I'm good, you keep going. So I thought I had to fix myself. I'm like, okay, what's you know?

SPEAKER_00 9:53

That's it, warm in.

SPEAKER_02 9:54

Just just for fun, being from New Jersey, Italian, my counselor was a female Jersey, Italian woman from Jersey City, New Jersey. Oh my gosh. And she said to me one day, and I finally woke up, she says, You're bending over so far backwards, you're kissing your own ass. You don't need to be here. I said, Okay. What is but then what's wrong with me? Why am I still here? Why do I still feel like I need something to help me? Right. Well, going into my late 30s in 2000, my dad passed. He was 62 years old. He was we were supposed to have lunch the day him and my mom went on a vacation. They went through Pennsylvania. I was in Delaware, so I didn't get to see them. That night he dropped dead in the hotel room with my mom giving him CPR. Never saw my dad again. So that was crazy. What age were you right there? I was uh late 30, 36, 37.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

Okay, yeah, just one, yep.

SPEAKER_02 10:53

Yeah. So so that started this whole, you know, turmoil going on in the marriage, that the job I wasn't happy with, the judge, blah, blah, blah, not fitting there. And then, but it always seemed like everybody was against me. My life was hard, right? The guys that I worked with, here's what they tell me. Well, you intimidate people, and I go, I work for the owner. How do I intimidate you? You're the owner of the company, you know. I'm like, I'm just trying to help.

SPEAKER_03 11:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:23

But strong personality, always wanted to grow, not knowing anything yet. My dad dies in 2000 on 9-11. Uh, my ex and I were in the hospital doing the ultrasound. The towers are falling, and the baby is dead in utero. So we had to have a stillborn. So we lost a child on 9-11. To make it even harder, the radiologist, the man who was going to read that and tell us his brother was on the 82nd floor of the tower. We were all crying. Like he lost his brother, we losing our child. It was a really hard day. Oh my gosh. So that was the next event. We were dealing with that, just about ready to file for divorce, back and forth. Then I lose my job. Monday morning of Thanksgiving week. The company sold to a bigger corporation, and they said, Hey, in October, and they were cleaning house, but we didn't know that. Yeah. They said, Yeah, we're gonna come up and help you grow your region. And I thought, man, I'm excited. These guys, we're gonna finally grow this business for them. And they let me go. So I was I was in swap mode then, man. I was so that was Monday of Thanksgiving. And you know, again, it wasn't going well. Like I'd say that the guy said, Well, you look pretty upset. And I'm like, What are you, an idiot? You know, like you just let me go right into the holiday on the holiday week with a seven-year-old with mortgage, with a wife who didn't work like no heart.

SPEAKER_00 13:15

I mean, I mean, oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 13:17

Not even that week after, right? That week. And when I said to him, he says, Well, you look upset. I said, You could have waited till after the holiday, and he says, Would it have made any difference? That's when it took more self-control than I ever thought I had because I was across my desk, man. I was still jacked like a SWAT cop, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. So anyway, left, started my own company. Best thing I ever did, started my own business. With by January 1st, I had my first client, very large blood uh um company, did Quest Diagnostics, Diagnostics Company, and started going. Well, a lot of stress starting the company. And um so that was into end of 03 into 04. Okay, and I was living with my mom.

SPEAKER_00 14:11

Oh uh Jersey?

SPEAKER_02 14:14

Jersey, my Italian mom, widowed, you know, and just she's still going. We're still we're tighter now than we were then. This is, you know, life is really good now, right?

SPEAKER_00 14:22

Yeah, and you're about 39. Yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 14:25

And I was still, you know, still thought I was the dude, you know. But uh I started getting this weird feeling when I pray. So some nights when I pray, I I'd be like, something is in the room with me. And I'm like, and all my mind could picture is this just like this image of something holding a sickle in a black robe with uh like a cow head with horns. And I'm like, and it happened for weeks and weeks, and I'm like, so the one night I was flipped out. I'm like, all of a sudden I felt like my mom is gonna knock down the door and kill me.

SPEAKER_03 15:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:12

My mom.

SPEAKER_03 15:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:13

The SWAT cop. I'm like, this doesn't make sense. Yeah. So I called a friend of mine, his name's Charles. Charles is a messianic Christian, so he's Jewish, then Christian. I'm trying to remember this exactly, certified counselor, and the president of an oil and gas company in Oklahoma. So I was like, this guy is a wild dude, man. And he owned property in Colorado. So I, you know, we really connected.

SPEAKER_00 15:37

Yeah. Wow.

SPEAKER_02 15:39

Big dude, cowboy, but just a great dude. So I I go, I call him. It's like nine, ten o'clock at night. I said, Charles, I need your help, brother. He goes, What's going on? I said, I don't know. I feel like my mom's gonna kick in the door and kill me. And he's like, All right, well, obviously she's not gonna do that. Yeah, you know, you could tell. I mean, I still feel that like, wow.

SPEAKER_00 16:03

I feel it, I sense it.

SPEAKER_02 16:04

You know? So um he goes, All right, well, tell me what's happening. I said, I don't know. I said, I told him about that image, and he says, All right, let me ask you some questions. And I don't remember all the questions, but what he was asking me was about my childhood, about my past, and he was very calm and very neutral. He knew not to lead me, he knew not to stir me up, he just asked, you know, what about this? Tell me about XYZ, tell me about this. And after about 10 minutes, I was starting to calm a little bit, and then he said, Well, tell me about why do you think it is you can't remember anything before your age of five? And I said, I don't know. I said, doesn't matter to me, I didn't care, right? Who cares? It was my childhood. I had a great childhood, is what I thought. Right. Parents loved me. I had three sisters, we're all good, we had a great life, you know, family was always together. And then we grew up and had our own families, and you know, we still love each other. He said, nope, nope, nope, don't go, can't let that one go. I said, What do you mean? He goes, no. He said, You're blocking something. And I said, What do you mean I'm blocking something? He said, Typically, if you can't remember a portion of your life, your subconscious mind is blocking it for a reason. Oh my gosh. So I didn't know. So we just kept the conversation going, and then he says to me, Lou, I think you are sexually abused as a child. What? And I said, the whole word, I said, F you, I was not abused, I was a cop.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Now he didn't laugh, which is what I would have said done, right? I would have laughed, yeah, okay, right, dude. We all would have laughed.

SPEAKER_02 17:57

Yeah, he said, no, no, no. You weren't a cop when you were five years old. And I broke down sobbing. And he said, Okay, go get a hotel room, get a glass of wine, just calm down, which I was happy about that part. Yeah. He said, and get on a plane. I'll be in Oklahoma for the week and come see me tomorrow. That was 2004. I paid$960 for an airline ticket. I went to a hotel room, paid$300 that night. I left the house and said, Ma, I gotta go. I love you. I'll I'll see you in a couple days. She goes, Where are you going? I go, I got work to do, I gotta do it. Yeah, and that was kind of normal for me because I had started this company and had 24-7 clients.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

So she was a- mom's not like my my my son lost it.

SPEAKER_02 18:46

Yeah, yeah, right.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

It's normal. Got it.

SPEAKER_02 18:48

So got on a plane and went to see Charles in Oklahoma and spent a week there.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

All right. Wow, that's incredible. The blocking has me like amazed. I can't wait to hear this next part. So there's a moment that everything changed. And I want to get in, I want to get to the second, but let's just let's start framing it in. So you meet with Charles, you're still like probably thought you were pretty normal at that point. Like, I might have some stuff wrong, but I don't have anything huge wrong. What what was the phrase? What was the sentence? What was the thinking? What did he ask? How how did how did he send that?

SPEAKER_02 19:36

Charles was a brilliant uh counselor, but he was very uh anointed is a good word in the Christian language. Anointed means he had a blessing that he could help people through things. And um he was one tough dude, though he still is, but very strong, but very confident, but calm, right? So that helps, right? When you're dealing with this kind of stuff. Yeah. So he he said, Look, we're gonna we're just gonna meet and we're gonna just pray right now. Okay. And he said, I have my Bible, and he says, We're gonna ask the Lord for help on this. And I thought, okay, well, whatever. He said, but the first thing you have to do, Lou, is you have to come clean. And I go, what did I do? What do you mean I have to come clean? He goes, Well, in that world, things that, you know, in the uh i in life we call it sin, right? It's missing the mark, doing things that we know are wrong. And he said, You need to admit those all to God so that he knows you're sincere. And I said, like what? And he goes, Well, everything. And I go, Well, I don't know, you know, like everything. I was very immature in the way of the that emotional part. Like, what do you know? I mean, I'm in my late 30s, I should have been a little more mature, but I I never had to develop that part of my body, right?

SPEAKER_00 21:09

You were probably never allowed to feel an emotion in your entire life growing up. Right. Right. Exactly. There you go. Got it.

SPEAKER_02 21:15

So I said, okay, well, I thought of things I did and I went through it. Okay, I took this when I was a kid. I did things with drugs that I shouldn't have done. I did things with women that I shouldn't have done, and I started saying, okay, Lord, I, you know, but sincerely, I had to unpack that and let that out. And that was embarrassing because we think when we do stuff, it's all just us, us and the person. Or just us. A lot of people, it's just us. Lonely. Right? Lonely. Yeah. But because the way we're designed, we're connected. And we're connected with God, and the emotion is a connection to other people, right? So even if it's something online or something on a phone, or right, we're all connected. So that's why being in person doing this is we could feel each other, right? So I did that. I took an hour and just sincerely tried to relax. See, that was the other part of it. Jeff was I didn't know how to get into, you know, just whatever came up was okay, yeah, just that's enough.

SPEAKER_03 22:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 22:28

No, no, go deep. What does go deep mean? Well, listen to your own mind, your subconscious mind. What is that? You know, thank God I had been reading some self-development books, but I didn't know what that was. Right. But we have that. That's our subconscious mind. It's part of our who we are, it's part of our existence. Nowadays it's easy, right? People know about it, but it, you know, 20 years ago, people knew about it, but it wasn't like Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 22:55

It wasn't being talked about.

SPEAKER_02 22:56

Wasn't being talked about on a podcast or YouTube or Instagram posting about my subconscious. Yeah, yeah. So it was very difficult, but I I did that. Yeah. And then he said, okay, not easy. So, but with any woman I did out of wedlock, there's a soul tie, is what he explained. So I literally was doing this. I cut those ties off me. Lord, I cut it, it was wild stuff, man. I was like, what am I doing? But I did it. And I believed it. And I wanted it off my life because I wanted to feel whole. I wanted freedom. I was telling you, freedom was my driver for this.

SPEAKER_03 23:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 23:45

What kind of freedom? I want to be in. I just had this gnawing feeling that I wasn't in control. And it's because for 40 some odd years I blocked that out. I wasn't in control. My emotions were running around, bouncing around in there somewhere. I still don't know how it works. So we did that. And then that's where it all started to change. Charles said, okay. I here's what he did. He said, I believe there's a generational curse on you from your family. And I'm like, what is that? All right, I've read about it in the Old Testament. What is that about, man? On me? Why me? You know, right away. What did I do? Nothing. It's generational. My mind immediately went to a doctor who I met probably five, no, yeah, probably five years before that. And he was doing some tests on me, and he says, You have a little chink in the armor on your DNA. And I go, what do you mean, doc? I had a genetic test done, and I have a null mutation in my DNA. And it's about oxidative stress, and I don't assimilate vitamin B or something like that. Yeah, yeah. The doc didn't see that genetic test yet. He did another different test, and he says, he says, somebody in your family had gonorrhea or syphilis in your family line. And I thought, I didn't know. What does that mean? Right? But that's what caused that mutation. So when Charles said there was a generational curse of sexual sin in my family line, my world blew up. I'm like, what? I started digging because I was furious.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 25:39

And found out that family members through my on my dad's side, not my dad, not that I know of, but other members related to him were having all kinds of parties and swapping wives and doing stuff. And I was like, what? And I called a cousin of mine who's 10 years younger than me, and we're close, and she went through a lot herself, and I said, Yeah, what's going on? I said, Here's what I'm think hearing. She goes, Oh, yeah, didn't you know my dad and his and my uncle all the time? I was like, What? Wow. All that stuff affects us. We don't know it. We think it's just them and their stuff. But it's when you study your lineage, I was blown away. So this is all happening with me and Charles sitting in this room going through blessings and curses. Yeah. I just sat there. I opened up to it. But what he did was he broke that curse off my life. Now, what he said and did, you know, I don't recall because it was so powerful. And when we were done with that part of that session, I felt totally relieved. I was like, he said, go look in the bathroom mirror at yourself. And I looked like I was 20 years old. I couldn't believe it. I was like, there's no way this isn't real. It is real. So that was where that whole thing changed.

SPEAKER_03 27:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 27:19

That was the first week I was with him. Right. And then he sent me home and said, and you need to come back in a month because we got to deal with what you went through. But that's how it set me up to let that go.

SPEAKER_00 27:32

Okay. So you get Santom. At that point, are you thinking, like, okay, I'm pretty much fixed. That was the issue. Or did you leave there knowing, oh my gosh, there's more, and I'm I don't want to go there and it's going to be nasty?

SPEAKER_02 27:50

Good question.

SPEAKER_00 27:51

What did it feel like?

SPEAKER_02 27:52

Well, I went back home to the marital house, and that was a disaster because we were in that turmoil. And that was just an odd time. I felt I feel it in my stomach now, my gut. I'm like, I just it was it wasn't a good fit for us anymore. And I knew I was growing and I was getting healthy.

SPEAKER_03 28:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 28:12

And um and you know, I'm not saying people should get divorced because of that, right? Uh, just that was our story and our issue, and we're all good now, which I told you, that's you know, everything's great. Yeah. But I I was having a hard time. What is going on? I was still reeling from the fact that I was sexually abused from my dad's brother between the ages of two and five, multiple times, thrown downstairs, and it stopped when we moved out of one house into another because it was further away. My uncle would babysit for us. My parents trusted him. We had a German shepherd, typical cop family, right? You know, right? No, nobody, but and the only person that that dog led in the house without having been locked up was my uncle and my grandmother, my father's mother. Everybody else you had to lock them away for. So my uncle was trusted there. And so I was not sure, right? I was in this point in my life where what am I doing? I got this company going, I'm going through a divorce. Now this guy's saying I was abused, but now I'm I have no more, you know, curse. What is all the I I was just in turmoil? Oh man. I was just in turmoil.

SPEAKER_00 29:30

And I didn't know how to process it. Plus, you just lost a like you lost a child.

SPEAKER_02 29:34

Lost a child right a year or two before that, lost my dad right before that. Marriage was in disorder. I mean, I was in a loss. That's what made me start looking at this. Like, why am I why is my life a disaster? I thought God loved me.

SPEAKER_00 29:47

Right, right. Okay. So what on your first trip to Charles, Oklahoma, did it come up the two to five-year-old sexual abuse thing, or did that come up on the next trip? Like when you went back to New York, what did you know for sure? What were the facts that you knew?

SPEAKER_02 30:08

The facts I knew was I was abused, okay, and yet I had to come clean to, you know, and admit all that stuff, which I did, and then we went through a deliverance, right? So I went through this, you know, like okay, break that sin off my life. But that that's that's like you feel it, right? You feel it when someone's dealing with all these emotions. So I did not address that issue the first time because it was a whole separate issue.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 30:41

Right.

SPEAKER_00 30:41

Did you go see him again?

SPEAKER_02 30:43

So I went out a month later, spent another week with Charles.

SPEAKER_00 30:47

What was the plane ride like going there? Man. What emotions?

SPEAKER_02 30:52

Fear.

SPEAKER_00 30:54

Um certainty. Yeah. Did you think there was something even deeper than that?

SPEAKER_02 31:00

Well, you know, there was a lot. And now when you said that, the first time flying home, I was almost, I was like, I can't do this. I can't go home. I don't know what to do. And I was starting to get like claustrophobic on the airplane. I'm like, what's going on? I've never had this problem before. Yeah. I mean, being a SWAT cop, I go in room smaller than this, and we're ranging around, or who cares, you know, man? Right. Lock me in it. I'm ready to go. Right. Right. I was on the plane and I was flipping out going home. And I was like, all right, just calm down, just stay calm. So it was a lot to about to break free, but when those things come up, it's like, why is this happening? Right? I would start asking questions. So that I knew on the way home that I wasn't done, but I didn't know what to be done with.

SPEAKER_00 31:44

Does that make sense? Does it ever? So you're you're on a plane back in one month.

SPEAKER_02 31:49

Right. And now on the way back, I was like wanting answers, but afraid to know the answer.

SPEAKER_00 31:57

Does that you know what I mean? Absolutely. Did a part of you at all say, maybe this guy could be wrong? Or were you just would you just know for sure?

SPEAKER_02 32:08

Do you know? Here's something that when I think about that, it's a great question. Up until that point in my life, I always thought people knew me better than I knew myself. And I always listen to other people. They're more successful than me. So I didn't have a great self-image. Yeah. Right. Right? It was a habit. It became habitual. Well, he drives a nicer car, he must be wealthier, he must be smarter. Yep. Oh, he's happy. He must be doing something I'm not. So what's wrong with me was always somewhere bouncing around. It wasn't a top level, but I got it. Yep. So, and why am I not XYZ A B C? Why am I not driving that Porsche right now? Well, back then it was, you know, different cars. Ferraris Lamborghinis. They're still there. But they were more affordable then. But and so I knew that he knew something I didn't know. Or I thought I knew he knew something I didn't know.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

So you go out there, you get to Oklahoma. What does he say when he trip to. Trip to, what does he say? Do you remember when you saw him? Well. How did he greet you?

SPEAKER_02 33:19

But I do remember his very warm and welcoming and calming, reassuring. We're gonna work this together. I'm here with you. So um we started with something called Theophostic Prayer Ministry. Theophostic Prayer Ministry. They've even changed the name because it's really hard. And basically the the you boil it down, Charles and I, of course, we prayed, we asked the Lord to be there, to guide the, you know, to protect it. And he said, okay, here's what I want you to do. I want you to go back in your mind to when you were two or three or four or five and replay the scene of your uncle abusing you. I did that for days. And then how? Well, you just let it out, let the memory run. Now, I'm not saying for people to do this.

SPEAKER_00 34:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

This is what I did. There's different ways to do it now, right? And that's what I think the Lord's using that for people to understand there are many ways to get healed or to let go of those old memories that are toxic, really. I always had stomach issues coming up to that, IBS or whatever it was. I always eat something, gotta run. Yeah. All this stuff because it was getting stuffed into my body somewhere, right? These old emotions, they bounce around, they get lodged into, you know, I'm I'm not a doctor, I'm not a scientist, but from what I've seen, you've been through it, though.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

I've been through a lot of things.

SPEAKER_02 35:17

So we would unpack each scene, whatever, and I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 35:24

You know, I was holding on tight.

SPEAKER_02 35:25

He's like, okay, relax. I'm here. It's like a dad figure, right? Like a big brother or a dad figure. I never had a big brother, but you know, like a dad, and he would calm me and he said, Okay, when you're in that scene, I want you to look for who else is with you. And I'm like, what are you talking about? Who else is with me? And he did it right because I was, I know now looking back, he could have planted seeds to say, Well, find God in that picture. Well, of course you could find God because your mind can make it up. Right. The first time it happened, it was the clearest because that would made me realize that, okay, it was right. I said, Jesus is here. And he goes, What? Say it again? I said, Jesus is with me. And I I saw like the Catholic picture of Jesus in a robe, but hanging in the air in my mind. Yeah. And he said, He is with you in every one of those scenes. He said, He is always with you. And we replayed every one of those scenes until I could find Jesus in every scene. And I'm crying, but it was beautiful and horrific at the same time. Yeah, yeah. Oh my gosh. So that was what I had to do for a week. Or what I chose to do, I didn't have to, right? This is all on my do, right? And like Charles didn't hold me down and say, do this. I mean, it's in my mind anyway.

SPEAKER_03 36:57

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 36:58

But I wanted to let it go. And that's what when I was old enough there, in my late 37, 38, whatever it was, I think I was old enough to go, I want to let this go. It's time to get rid of it. Somewhere. Not consciously, because I didn't know it was there yet. So after a week of that, I was exhausted and exhilarated because it is a lot. Brain work, mind work is a lot of work. Right. It's a lot of getting rid of this conscious mind who wants to protect us always. Our brain wants to protect us, right?

SPEAKER_03 37:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:39

You're a Secret Service, you know. We're protectors. I was a cop. Yeah. I'm very protective. Right? I mean, we just talked about something a few minutes ago. I'm like, let's go do it together, you know. Right. Protect the, protect, get rid of the bullies. Yeah, you know. So um, but um so to be able to let that go, it's work to relax yourself enough to say, okay, what is really here? Yeah. So that week I went through this theophaustic prayer ministry. He had sent me tapes out, like to watch, PCR tapes, because he didn't even have them on DVD, even though DVDs were around, but he didn't have them. We're not that old. But uh and um he really just said, I want you to be ready to let all this go, you know. And he was just fabulous at all of that stuff. And I I I feel like I was blessed. I was like, how did I get so lucky to find the right guy? Because I had been going to talk therapy for years, and talk therapy has its place. Just not for this, just not for this.

SPEAKER_00 38:51

So is it all is it the process and the steps that you took to help you get into that two to five-year-old brain? Because when you say that, I can't remember a single thing I did when I was two to five. We don't even have memories, or at least that's what we've been told that we don't have memories. So is it because of a process that you were able to get back there?

SPEAKER_02 39:17

It was letting go of my brain, thinking I can't remember that. And having the space and the time to relax and do we had nothing else to do that day. I mean, he did have to go to his office, remember, and uh, you know, and he had to do all that. I'm saying, remember, but he had to go do that and then come back, and okay, we're good for eight hours, you know. So when you're sitting one-to-one with a guy for eight hours who's trying to help you, and he's just patient and listening and encouraging, and you have nothing else to focus on in the world, not your kids, not your wife, not your business, except yourself, yeah, things change.

SPEAKER_00 39:53

So is the symptom then and then the message right here is it if you don't remember sections of your life, you need to ask deeper questions right now, because there could be something. Is that what this is about?

SPEAKER_02 40:10

In a way, yes. It and it doesn't have to be what I went through. It couldn't be just your parents slammed the door going out of the bedroom and mad at you for something, and you could have misinterpreted people misinterpret that, and that's a little trauma thing, right? And they block that out. It doesn't have to be this, but yes, if there's something blocking that, there's a reason. That's all. There's a reason.

SPEAKER_00 40:31

Your subconscious goes to work, and your brain is so incredibly powerful that it can take those blocks of time, whether it's a day, a week, a month, a year, three years, five years, wrap something around it almost. Like I'm just making this up, but wrap something around it inside of your own brain. Right. So you never tap into it again.

SPEAKER_02 40:52

Is this and one of the docs I met along the way? Now, I so I went through a 20-year process starting with Charles, finishing up with something else, right? And some of the doctors believe that a negative emotion that is hidden away becomes like um, what do you call it when you have not a cancer, but a like a physical, like a lesion in your body, like a buildup, like a tumor or something? Tumor. Yeah, it doesn't have to be cancerous, but sometimes they believe it's if it it comes from a trauma, right? Wow. If you get hit with something hard, it could cause a tumor. But I've heard uh one of the docs, he said that's a dominant focus, and he said that will, you know, that energy, that whatever it was that caused that trauma, your body's trying to fight it off. So if it manifests physically, it could become a tumor. Now, if it's cancerous or not, it doesn't matter. Yeah, it just becomes something that's yeah. So your body, you know, your body and your mind, they all work together. See, I I think what I've learned is that the emotional part of our lives really helps with our physical health, right? When you're emotionally healthy, right? For sure. If you're nervous all the time, man, your stomach gets in knots, and right?

SPEAKER_00 42:17

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 42:17

So, I mean, think about it when we do missions, right? You would do forwards, you would do advan advances, rather, and you would go in, you know, and have people, you'd be on security detail, you're on high alert, high alert.

SPEAKER_00 42:28

But if you do live in knots.

SPEAKER_02 42:30

Right. You live in it.

SPEAKER_00 42:31

You live in it. What ifs?

SPEAKER_02 42:33

What if? What if this happens, what if that happens, okay. I solved this problem, go here, go there. If that happens, then I gotta go to that, and this guy goes there. You know, it's always so you're uh in you know, yellow, red alert, whatever, depending. And but the body can't live like that forever. You know, so that's why that built up at that point for me. I was living in stress response all the time, fight or flight mode since I was two years old.

SPEAKER_00 43:00

Then take take that, take your life, add some alcohol to it, add some drugs to it, add some this, that, all these other coping mechanisms.

SPEAKER_02 43:11

Food.

SPEAKER_00 43:12

And you could just make it disappear and not even know. You can go decades and not even know that you have a problem.

SPEAKER_02 43:19

Right. But it's food, exercise, work, exercise, right?

SPEAKER_00 43:25

Over it would be the uh the anti like the opposite, but over exercise.

SPEAKER_02 43:30

Using it to numb six days a week, seven days a week, every day gotta run, gotta run, gotta whatever.

SPEAKER_00 43:36

Because I can't feel that's the danger part. I don't want to feel. I don't want to feel emotion.

SPEAKER_02 43:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 43:42

Wow. All right. Was there was there Lou 1.0 to Lou 2.0? Can you get me down to the second where it was like or or the minute or the day where it just all left your body and you went from feeling like 200 pound Lou to I'm walking on clouds, or I I dropped a 200 pound backpack?

SPEAKER_02 44:12

Yeah, good question. Does it happen that way? Not overnight.

SPEAKER_00 44:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 44:18

So here so I started that. 20 years ago, and in 2023, something was still bugging me, and I'm like, I am so mad now, because I'm very right. Um, it was two, three years ago. Um, in my book, there's a woman named Rachel who helped me out, and and this is important for people to understand, emotions need time to be processed. Once I knew that the abuse was there and I went and relived those scenes, great. But now what? That's it, right. Now what? So I was looking for someone a couple years after that, within a year or so of meeting Charles, and the second time I was there for NLP, neurolinguistic programming. NLP, okay. And that doctor who told me about the null mutation and the stuff in my family line had a woman at his practice that was one day shows up. I'm looking for someone NLP. She goes, I practice NLP. I'm like, okay, you're my girl. Let's go. She's a Brit living in New Jersey. It was hilarious. Wow. What a tie-in. So you got your person, we started working together to here's what happens. The brain has synapses, right? And they fire and they form neural pathways based on our beliefs. Well, at two years old to five years old, my brain was still, all of our brains are still developing. Again, I'm not a doctor through study and through experience. And so now I have to rewire those beliefs. I wasn't dirty, I wasn't shameful, I wasn't guilty, I wasn't a bad guy because that happened to me. So think about this for you and for all of us, and even the listener, we're guys. You and I are freaking dudes, right? I mean, Secret Service SWAT training team kicking indoors. I'm still in the gym kicking butt, right?

SPEAKER_03 46:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:22

And I gotta, I was sexually abused. If it was by a girl, wouldn't it be great? Oh well, that would have been fun. Yeah. It still would have been traumatic. Sure. But by a male and a and a and a family member like dad's brother, that is shameful for a guy like us to have to, it still makes me like, ugh, the person that's supposed to protect you and be thrusted around you. So think about all that going on in someone's life, male, female, doesn't matter. Yeah. But male on male, to me, is like the worst, right? So I had to process those emotions. And as Rachel developed her practice, I developed, and we went through something called, um, for a long time, it was a journey. We would journey into my subconscious mind. She would just be there to listen and make sure I would ask questions. What are you sensing? What are you feeling? What do you see? And I tell her, okay, what is that? You know, she basically was a guide. Yeah. It's important for people to know when you go find someone to help, you want someone who doesn't plant thoughts or seeds. They just ask, what are you sensing? What does that mean to you? Have you thought about why? You know, things like that, instead of saying, oh, well, you were abused, so that you don't want any judgment. Well, you're gonna act like this. Well, if you're in your subconscious mind, you've got to battle that. And I never wanted that. The other thing that I found is, in my belief, I asked Jesus into every session I did with her. I said, Jesus, I believe you're here, you're gonna help us through this, and I said, I invite you into this session. That was my protection to be not misled. Yeah. So, and as I did that, we would sit, and I want to explain this to you because it's very powerful. We sat, I mean, I did timeline therapy, gestalt therapy, I mean, all kinds of therapy, right? I mean, and and if you read some really successful people, they've done the same thing because they're trying to solve the puzzle. It's a puzzle, right? Wow. So we did something after our journeys, then we came to something called the campfire. Loved campfire scenes. It's unconditional love, eternal silence. I would picture in my subconscious sitting across a next to a campfire with my uncle, my grandparents, one of my grandmother was aware of this, my grandfather I don't know, and I would blast him. Well, how do you feel? Oh man, and I let it all out. I lit up, she goes, In your mind? In my mind. And I feel it in my body. No, I I spoke out loud. I would speak out loud. But in the I was in my subconscious, but I was letting him have it. Okay. Then here's what she did. Brilliant. Now that you've emptied out, what would your uncle say to you? And I go, I don't care. I don't know. No, no, go deeper into your mind. What would he say? Oh, he would say, and all of a sudden, one day I opened my mouth and it started coming out. And I was like, what is this stuff? This is wild. Our minds are powerful. We are all connected, brother. We are all connected.

SPEAKER_00 49:50

What was that? What what what were some of your answers? Oh, my God.

SPEAKER_02 49:54

Some of my uncles said, Well, I was just jealous. I knew how special you were, and I didn't want you to be, because I never had what you have. You have loving parents, and he would just give it back to me. And he would blame me because he was upset with his life.

SPEAKER_00 50:12

And spoke out that way.

SPEAKER_02 50:13

Spoke out. And then she said, Okay, now you respond to him in love. I go, guy beat me, man.

SPEAKER_00 50:23

Was it physical? Okay, so it was it was both, though. It was like it was physical and sexual. And is there an actual difference between the two? Is it the obvious? Or or can one be the other and one of the things that you're talking about?

SPEAKER_02 50:36

No, it was it was sexual, all kinds of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 50:39

So but he was also he there was physical abuse.

SPEAKER_02 50:41

Oh yeah, threw me down, you know, stairs or smacked me, you know, beat me up a little bit. But at two years old, when you get backhanded by a 40-year-old guy, that's pretty rough, you know. Threatened to kill me if I told my parents, you know, things like or threatened to kill my sisters if I told my parents. Which me at that point, I was too young to care. I didn't know. I wasn't afraid of that after what I'd been through. But threatening to kill my sister, and that came out when I had to tell my mom about this when I released my book. And she's like, Why didn't you tell us? And I said, I don't know, but after all this work, I said, because he had threatened to kill me, my sister.

SPEAKER_00 51:26

At still that rare like really young age?

SPEAKER_02 51:29

Yeah, well, when I was probably when she was born, I was it happened after the first one was born until the third one was born, I think.

SPEAKER_00 51:36

So wow. That's incredible. So tell me about the work.

SPEAKER_02 51:43

So the campfire was letting it go and then going, okay, I forgive you. Yeah. But not just, yeah, I forgive you. That's good. No, I had to feel it. Rachel goes, you need to feel it in every cell of your body. How do you do that? Well, you just let it happen. I worked with Rachel for 17 years since Charles. And I was like, all right, I'm getting a little, all right, Lord, we gotta put a cap on this. I'm done. And you know, I don't know our timing, so I want to kind of bring it to a pretty good. So, and I worked with Rachel, and it cost me a lot of money, man. And this stuff isn't cheap. Yeah. Thousand tens and tens of, I mean, if I you look back, you know, the Porsche is in here. Maybe the Lamborghini is in here, you know. Depends on which Porsche, yes. Uh anyway, but um, but I had a deep something in my mind said, if I get this right, I'll make billions, right? And and and I'm not about making the billions, right? But it's about the impact I can make in the world.

SPEAKER_03 53:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 53:03

But it was gnawing that get this done. Whatever this inside is bugging you, solve it. Because then you're free, really free. So I work with Rachel. We moved in 2020, we moved from New Jersey to Georgia, and I was working with Rachel still a little bit, you know, and I was starting to get a little like, all right, I'm I've been through this long time now. You know, I'm pushing 60 here. I had a let go. So why am I paying her thousands of dollars to do this stuff? I talked to my wife about it, and I met somebody, a friend of mine. We we were in San Antonio, Leslie and I, and we went to see a friend of ours, a woman I've known for 20 some odd years, businesswoman, successful. Um, never married, had two kids through a donor, and just very smart, very intelligent, and we went to see her and she was glowing. And Leslie and I go, What is going on with you? She goes, read this book. And if you're interested, you let me know. The book is called A Dose of Hope. I had it in my audible that day.

SPEAKER_01 54:20

I was done in an hour, you know, however fast I could listen to that thing, and then I got a copy, right?

SPEAKER_02 54:24

And I'm like, I was just tired of chasing what's wrong with me. Why do I have to have someone else to help me be right? That that's where most people live all their life. Think about that, right? I mean, we talk about it.

SPEAKER_00 54:42

Over therapized, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 54:43

Right? We don't, you know, and I got um, and my my personality type is what they call D or choleric or cleric, you know, whatever you want to say. But it's like, I want control, but I want control of me. That's where, you know, we talk about that in the in the Christian world, like you're a warrior. We need to be a warrior over our own stuff. We need to be the conqueror of ourself.

SPEAKER_03 55:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:10

Then everything else is fine, because then you could say anything to me, and I go, okay, no, why are you saying that? You know, instead of let's go.

SPEAKER_00 55:17

Yeah, sword fight, knife fight, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:20

Because I still have the switch, you still have the switch, we'll always have the switch, that we need to go, we go, right? I mean, that's and that makes me feel good that I have that switch, right?

SPEAKER_01 55:30

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02 55:31

But there's some ego in there, right? But it's also confidence in knowing that we're okay.

SPEAKER_00 55:37

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 55:38

I read that book, A Dose of Hope. Uh, Dr. Dan, I don't recall his last name. And I said to my friend Mandy, I go, where did you go? She goes, call this person. Her name is Puma. I'm like, I am not calling a woman named Puma. Give me a freaking.

SPEAKER_00 55:57

Here we go again, right?

SPEAKER_02 55:58

Right. Do you know that the Lord uses these simple things can to confound the wise, right? And I'm like, and but her business partner's name is Morgan. Dude. Dude. Yeah. I was like, okay, he's a tough. I was like, thank God, I gotta, at least somebody who's a little in that, you know. So, and this is very, you know, this is, I mean, this is real and personal, and this is my story. Yeah, and whatever people think is what they're gonna think, but it worked. So I went to this place, some unknown place in Arizona, that is off the grid, totally awesome. Yeah, Morgan built it out himself, and you know, um I I I've given the book to people and say, if you really want freedom, you need to go see him. So I'm very careful with what I do because I don't want to be misled. I've already said that, even though, even though I'm confident, I know there's ways to pull people off track because I'm human, and I've been off track myself many times. Yeah. Yeah, this morning. I go spend a couple of days with these folks. Yeah. Okay, here's what they say. What do you want in your life? I go, man, I got this stuff journaled. I have books, I have solid volumes of what I want in my dreams and you know who I'm gonna be and who I am. But what do you really want? Boil it down. Write it down, okay? Write out your some goals. You're gonna take it to God. I go, I'm gonna take it to God. Yeah. This is what you want, right? You want answers, you're gonna get answers, but you need to know what you want. So this is a therapy that conservative Christian white male would probably be like who's gonna Catholic Italian, you know, who's who's gonna say this guy would ever do this, right? Right. It's called M DMA. Have you heard of that? Uh-huh. MDMA.

SPEAKER_00 58:06

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 58:08

They use it in medical circles to help people. And we'll talk more about it offline because but it puts you into your subconscious and it takes away your conscious mind's control for a few hours.

SPEAKER_03 58:26

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 58:28

Yeah, okay. I do know a use of it. I know when they use it.

SPEAKER_02 58:32

Right.

SPEAKER_00 58:32

I got you.

SPEAKER_02 58:34

So um I but this was very structured, guided, right? Okay, this is proper for where you're gonna be, and people are there making sure everything is right.

SPEAKER_03 58:43

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 58:44

But an another, don't tell my wife, several thousand dollars. You know? And and the Lord has shown me, He'll take care of that. But to be free for me was priceless. And so I spent a weekend there. And I got there after all this 20 years of work or 18, 19 years of work, and I was still a little jacked. I'm sitting in the woods talking, like out on the riverside, not in the woods, talking to this guy Morgan. What's going on? He goes, Why are you so? I go, Well, I'm always on high alert. He goes, You don't need to live that way. I don't? No. That's why you're here. I'm like, I am?

SPEAKER_01 59:26

Yeah. Look, I'm just turning 60, and I'm like, I'm still on high alert and still dealing from five years old.

SPEAKER_02 59:36

The body takes a long time to let go of this stuff, and the mind is even longer. Yeah. And so, okay, we have a quiet time. It's just me and him quiet. I wrote down what I wanted. They chuckled about it. You want that? I go, yeah, I want that, and I'm gonna give it. They said, okay, here we go. You got two to five hours of whatever. This is your journey. I had heard that word before working with Rachel. So I knew how to go in the subconscious. And Morgan said, okay, just breathe and ask your questions. Just breathe and ask questions. That's all my job was to do. Wow. And the Lord met me there in a way I've never felt before. And he helped me understand. And he solved the problem of who's in control, not me, but him. He solved the problem of how to live. Joy and love. And let him control. Joy and love is how he wanted us, he wants us to live. He solved the problem of, yeah, there's a lot of definitions of God. But love is the power of the universe, is what I learned in that session. Love. And I'm like, what kind of love? Right? Like I was, but without any conscious thoughts going on and knowing how to get deep into my subconscious, those 17, 18 years of working up to that helped me cap it. And I came back, and here's what the Lord said to me, and people go, Oh, you spoke to the Lord. Well, no, he spoke to me. You know, right. We had a conversation, which is what he wants. But our subconscious mind is where it all happens. And he said, You can leave here with more than coach prime confidence.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:33

And I laughed. And I'm like, I love coach prime. And he goes, You can laugh, man. I want you to be in joy and laugh.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:40

And I was like, man, why are we so tense? Why are we so uptight? Why am I wanna, you know, the guy cuts me off in traffic. Why do I want to, you know? Right. It's not the way it's meant.

SPEAKER_01 1:01:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:01:52

So when we're in a peaceful state, our body works better, our mind works better, our relationships. So 20-year journey, starting out with living at my mom's, finding out that an atrocious thing happened to me as a kid, capping it off with that's just a distant memory and a distant lesson, and it was used for a bigger purpose. Yeah. And now I have two things in my life to do. Outside of my family, and you know, the normal, not the normal, but the you know, my the family things. Sure. I have two missions in life and I'm on them. What are they? One is to help people in my business, in my health coaching business, to get free of their health issues. Help them.

SPEAKER_00 1:02:35

Physical.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:36

Physical. But we have a whole thinking component in that program which leads them to say, I want to check this out. You can call this guy, call this girl, call this guy, call this girl. Get yourself together. The other one is child sex trafficking. We need to do something about it. And with my background and with the people that are being put into place, there will be a network to help stop that. Yeah. Because that is damaging human beings.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:10

So I interviewed a guy, we didn't talk about this before we close. I interviewed a guy a couple times who started Deliver Fund. He's a former CIA guy. And he's leading the country in um re he calls them reconnects kids and kids and families that are going through human trafficking.

SPEAKER_02 1:03:29

Wow.

SPEAKER_00 1:03:30

Connecting them back. And they're behind a lot of really big stuff. Really big. Like the Epstein stuff. They just made an announcement. Wow. But his software was part of a big piece of that. Yeah. So deliver fund. He's and uh what his special what makes them so unique and so effective is they hire a former law enforcement. That's my vision too. Military law enforcement to help get in the community. So anyway. Okay, give me a message to everybody out there. What do you want to say?

SPEAKER_02 1:04:06

I want to say, excuse me, sorry. I want to say be patient with yourself, love yourself, and look inside. Look inside. Why do you react when your wife says X and you blow up? Or why do you react when your husband says Y? It's not just your relationship. There's something deeper, right? Why do you like I'm from Jersey, man? I know how to drive. A cop, I have all kinds of driving lessons, motorcycle, how to drive, I grew up on my. But why when somebody cuts me off, do I want to just blast them off the road? That anger, why is that? Solve that. Why is it like me, maybe, you're not feeling your best? Why is it you always feel, you know, somebody's better than you? Find ask those questions in your own quiet time, whether you believe in the Lord or you believe in whatever you believe in. Ask your subconscious mind, I would say ask God to ask you know, ask really the one I believe is Jesus to go to the Father. That's how we're learned. But ask the creator of the universe. That way you don't have to give him a name. Ask the creator of the universe, help me. What is it that you want me to know about this? And then solve it and go live a great life.

SPEAKER_00 1:05:32

Bonus, bonus question. I gotta ask it. Do it. So when you look at your whole story now, the parts that you knew, the parts that you didn't, what's the biggest thing that it's taught you about being human?

SPEAKER_02 1:05:51

That's a really good question. Patience with people. Everybody is going through something, which is cliche, and I don't mean to be cliche. But we don't know. I don't know what you went through, because you probably don't know what you went through, right?

SPEAKER_00 1:06:07

No, I don't. I used to think, but I don't anymore. I I'm not trying that. No, I love it.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:12

This is great. But um just love, love, and be patient with people because we don't know. Yeah, we don't know. Nobody knew about me. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:24

They still don't when I meet somebody, and then when I open up the door a little bit, they're just like, and then they're like, I would never know this if I didn't have a podcast, and my giftedness is finding out about it. But I just like known people so incredibly deep. But yeah, yeah, but this is what connects us.

SPEAKER_02 1:06:44

Exactly.

SPEAKER_00 1:06:44

Like because now I look and I I now I examine my own life, but I'm also thinking, so we don't know somebody's story, big picture, but there's also we don't know what somebody went through 15 minutes ago.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:00

Right. Right.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:02

Right? The data.

SPEAKER_02 1:07:03

I mean Yeah, we just never know. So love and be patient with people is my message.

SPEAKER_00 1:07:08

Is that's the message. Thank you so much. Yeah, brother. For doing this. It was special and awesome. I appreciate it. I hope it great. Wow.