Relationships 2.0 Today We'll Talk About the Ultimate Supplement for a Great Relationship

This week we dive into Part 2 of the life-changing concept that transformed my marriage: The Five Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapman. We'll explore how learning to speak the love language of your partner can strengthen any relationship. Plus, I’ll share personal lessons from 35 years of marriage, a few powerful mindset shifts, and two inspiring stories: a blind woman conquering the English Channel and a military dog reuniting with his handler after years apart. Don’t forget—your challenge this week is to discover your love language and the love language of someone you care about. Let’s keep growing and dreaming big together! 

Simple Daily Routine for a Balanced Life download  https://drive.google.com/file/d/1njZbEbTg-NKLto1OptvAkglc6mxdXKo7/view?usp=sharing

Jim Valvano:  Every Single Day, in Every Walk of LIfe, Ordinary People Do Extraordinary Things

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-quote-of-the-day-show-daily-motivational-talks/id1163094296?i=1000687351124

Terri Savelle: The Checklist Every High Achiever Needs for Success

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/terri-savelle-foy-podcast-audio/id274538089?i=1000690807423

Joel Osteen:  Making Miracles out of Mistakes

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/joel-osteen-podcast/id137254859?i=1000693744365

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:02

Welcome to a conversation of hope with God. This podcast is all about you. The master to remind you that you are the masterpiece. To inspire you to join again. To equip you with simple, strategies for some stuff. Strategies you can start using today. To begin your journey towards the incredible life users, what will be sharing insights on the latest books, along with colorful stories of content over adversity.

SPEAKER_01 0:57

Welcome, welcome, welcome. Thank you for tuning in and taking your precious time to listen in. I know your time is valuable. And you chose to tune in to a conversation of hope. I will always give you all that I got. And my goal is that you will be more equipped to have that life that you long for and so deserve. Okay. Last week's challenge was to do at least one random act of kindness. I hope you were able to do that because I promise you that if you did, your life is better for it. Being kind to others, serving others, it always makes you feel like a million bucks. This week we're going to cover part two of relationships. One of the most important things my wife and I ever came across in our 35 years of being married was the five love languages by Gary Chapman. This helped my wife and I realize our love languages are different. So if I only tried to love her with my love languages, it is not going to resonate with her. If you don't understand the love languages, you may get very upset when you're trying to figure out and frustrated why these things aren't working the way that you're applying the way that you love and that you like to be loved to the one that you love, and it's not sinking in or get going through. So I figure we'd cover this today. I think you'll really enjoy it. It was eye-opening for my wife and I. Here's the details on the five love languages. The five love languages came from the book, Dr. Gary Chapman's best-selling book, The Five Love Languages: The Secret to Love That Lasts. The idea is that people give and receive love in different ways, and understanding these can strengthen any relationship. All right, here they are. Words of affirmation, expressing love through spoken or written words. Examples. I love you, compliments, encouragement, and appreciation. This person feels love when they hear kind, affirming things. Number two, acts of service. Actions speak louder than words. Examples, doing chores, helping with errands, fixing something, making coffee. They feel loved when you do helpful things for them. Number three, receiving gifts. It's not about materialism, it's about the thoughtfulness behind the gift. Example a surprise treat, a meaningful card, something just because they feel loved when they receive tangible symbols of affection. Number four, quality time. Example, just deep conversations, doing activities together, turning your phones off and just being with each other. They feel most love when you spend intentional time with them. Number five, physical touch. Love expressed through physical closeness. Examples, hugs, holding hands, cuddling, kissing, back rubs. These people feel love when they're physically connected to you. Most people have one or two dominant love languages, and mismatches can lead to misunderstandings if you're not speaking the right one. So really, really good stuff here. If you want to figure out how do I know what my love language is, here's a couple more examples for you. On words of affirmation, do you light up when someone compliments or expresses appreciation towards you? Do encouraging text or heartfelt notes make your day? Number two, on the acts of service piece, do you feel most loved when someone helps you out without being asked? Or do you notice when people do thoughtful practical things for you? That's the act of service love language. Number three, receiving gifts. Do small surprises or thoughtful presence mean the world to you? Do you remember every little gift someone has ever given you? That would mean you have the receiving gifts love language. Number four, quality time. Do you crave undivided attention and meaningful conversations? Do you get hurt when someone is distracted or on their phone around you? And then number five, physical touch. Do hugs, cuddling, simple physical closeness make you feel safe and connected? Do you find yourself reaching out to hold hands or sit close to people? Those are the way that you can tell on the love languages. But I'm telling you, it was a game changer for my wife and I. We're so grateful and thankful that we came across that book and heard about it. Very, very good for any relationship. All right, let's take time this week to identify the love languages of the one you love. This will really improve your relationship overall. My love languages are acts of service, physical touch, receiving gifts. My wife are quality time, words of affirmation, and acts of service. Here are some of my thoughts on relationships overall. What I've learned from doing it completely wrong many times and then trying to get it right. So learn from my mistakes on this. Here's the bottom line of what I see on some of it. If you're gonna love somebody, love them unconditionally, unless there's some kind of a physical threat or something not healthy is going on in the relationship. Just love them unconditionally. Allow people to fail, offer them grace and mercy. We know that we're gonna make mistakes too. I know I'm not perfect at all. I'm very thankful when my wife forgives me for things that you know, just dumb stuff. So assume the best in others. Always assume the best. Enjoy doing things that they like. For example, when we were younger in our relationship, I'll tell you what, if I wanted to go to Outback Steakhouse, my wife wanted to go to Red Lobster, we're probably gonna go to Outback because I wanted my steak. But now in our relationship, I truly get more enjoyment out of watching her. If she wants to go to Red Lobster, let's go. And I'd love just knowing that she's getting what she wants means the world to me. Doing nothing, just being with each other. When you get to the point in your relationship where you really don't have to plan an activity or anything, you can just sit there and be with each other. For us, a lot of times we'll just sit there on the couch holding hands, and then she loves to draw. My wife loves her iPad. She just got a new 13-inch iPad a week ago, and she loves it. It's awesome. And I'm so thankful that she can just have that joy of drawing. It just connects the dots in the brain for her, and we can just sit, chill, talk while she does that, and she loves it. Be their biggest fan and super supporter. So if they're gonna try something new, maybe a new job or something's different in their life, definitely encourage them, support them, love on them, and uh let them know you believe in them. That's very, very powerful when you know someone at home is always rooting for you. And then always just enact the golden rule. It's just the best way to live. Treat them the way you want to be treated. Alright, y'all. Joke break time. Here we go. Why do cows wear bells? Because their horns don't work. Alright, I'm sorry you had to hear that. That is, I cannot say that you're better off for hearing that. So uh yeah. Well, we'll move on. All right, this week we have two great stories of the week. I think you'll enjoy both of them. One of them is a story of triumph and hope and just overcoming. I just thought this was the coolest thing. 49-year-old becomes first blind woman to swim English Channel and says nothing is impossible. A Paralympic gold medalist has become the first blind woman to swim across the English Channel, and she finished under time. She said that being blind has left her feeling isolated, but thanks to swimming, she has a newfound confidence and hopes her feet inspires others. Forty-nine-year-old Melanie Barrick took on the challenge after falling in love with open water swimming. She swam the channel from Shakespeare Beach to Dover to Cap Griznez Beach in France in 12 hours and 20 minutes, faster than the expected 14 hours, and described it as a dream come true. My life has been filled with challenges, she says, because of my blindness, and it often led me to feel isolated and unsure of myself. Melanie, now a special needs assistant, after winning two gold medals, two silvers and a bronze in the 1996 Atlanta and 2000 Sydney Paralympics, said she never thought it would be possible to achieve something like this. It's no mean feat, even for an Olympian. As the channel weather regularly takes the lives of sailors and refugees in crossing. Melanie was born with scarred eyes after her mom contracted congenital toxic pulses during pregnancy. She grew up virtually blind and was only able to make out bright colors and shapes. She first began swimming with the British Blind Charity. I love the water, she remembers. The charity helped me by teaching me to swim straight and how not to bump my head in the pool ends. I struggled to fit in at school because of my blindness. So I often turned to the pool as an escape. Slowly improving, a swimming partner invited her to the Paralympic Games, which lit a fire under her that pushed her to succeed. After Sydney, Melanie retired from competitive swimming and wanted something more. I became friends with an incredible open water swimmer who took me under her wing. The shock of the cold water made me aware of every single cell in my body. And it was freeing. Once hooked on open water swimming, Melanie competed in several races, including a 10K lake swim and a relay race in Lake Geneva in 2023. It was as freeing as it was frightening, since there were no indicative surfaces or objects for her to use as a reference point. A solution presented itself as her husband paddling alongside her in a kayak and the bright colored paint of which she could see. I also started using bone conducting headphones that allowed him to communicate with me throughout my swims. It made my open water swimming more accessible. Two years before her Geneva feat, Melody signed up for the English Channel Swim, describing it as the Everest of Swimming, and on August 28th, 2024, she swam the channel in 12 hours and 20 minutes, receiving a Guinness World Record for the feat. I didn't think I was going to make it, she said. I had the most amazing team and I was really determined. Life is incredibly difficult being blind, and it's very limiting, but sport and open water swimming have given me a newfound confidence and made me proud of who I am. My husband and two boys always know I love to push myself and that I always need something to work towards. And I hope I've inspired others to do the same. Wow. What an amazing story. 49 years old, blind, and she swims the English Channel. What can we do? What are we missing out on? That's how I always look at it. I love hearing stories like that, stories of triumph like that, because I always think in my own life, man, Brett, are you selling yourself short on some stuff? You have some big dreams. Did you cut them short because you just didn't believe that you could do it? Well, hearing stuff like that makes me feel just phenomenal. I'm so happy for that lady and her family. All right. Our next story of the week. After serving together for four years in Iraq, dog and army handler are you reunited to live the couch life in Texas. Recently, American Humane Society reunited a retired military dog, Frankie, with his former handler, Staff Sergeant Kristen, who were separated in 2021. She said it was like leaving a child behind back then, and the two will undoubtedly be looking forward to catching up over rucks, runs, and cuddle couches. Frankie and Kristen served together for nearly four and a half years, including a nine-month combat tour in Afghanistan and a 10-month combat tour in Iraq. The 10-year-old German Shepherd was trained in explosive detection and bite work. During his time with Kristen, the pair completed roughly 20 Secret Service missions, helping protect high-profile VIPs, including the president. We are grateful for the opportunity to reunite military working dog Frankie with his best friend, said Dr. Ron Ganzett, president and CEO of American Humane Society. During their first mission with the U.S. Special Forces, the team encountered a sniper fire and mortar rounds, tragically resulting in several American casualties. Despite the action, Frankie remained calm and continued his vital work searching for explosives, earning the respect and appreciation of Special Forces team that they were assigned to. Frankie quickly became an unofficial mascot for the base. His sweet, goofy personality helped boost morale and provide comfort during difficult deployments. Frankie and Kristen were separated in 2021 when the latter was resigned to Fort Drum in northern New York. She was heartbroken to have to leave Frankie behind. Since learning that Frankie might retire, Kristen has been chomping at the bit to see him again and bring him home. When the news became official, she immediately reached out to the Humane Society for help, having learned about the organization from a close friend at Lackland who used to the program to locate and adopt his own retired military dog. American Humane Society helped reunite the pair by picking up Frankie from Fort Johnson in Louisiana and personally escorting him to his new home in San Antonio, Texas. Tristan is excited to give Frankie the opportunity to enjoy being a dog, relaxing on the couch and living in home instead of a kennel. Another phenomenal story that is just absolutely beautiful. I said that was a 10-year-old German Shepherd. We had a German Shepherd growing up named Lady, and it was just awesome. Pets are amazing. Right now, my wife and I, we have a dog named Skyler, and we also have a cat named Lucky. The dog is mine, the cat is hers. Now it's time for top three podcast episodes. Number one was Jim Valvano. He was a coach for North Carolina, brought him a championship, a basketball coach. Every single day, he says, in every walk of life, ordinary people do great things. And that he said when he heard that statement, it changed his life because he felt like he was just an ordinary person. But he really did want to do extraordinary things. He kind of talked about motivation as being three things. Enthusiasm, he said, bring it daily. It's a game changer. I agree. I think enthusiasm is powerful. Dream, he said, never stop dreaming. And he would talk about how he would bring his brand new team for the season. One of the first things they did before they even practiced is they would do a net cutting. And what that is when they get the ladder out and they cut the net off of the hoops. And the reason he wanted to do that with the team is because it put a vision in their mind of when you win that championship, you always get to cut the nets down. So right from the get-go, he wanted this team to see that and have that vision of victory. And then he talked about having a great work ethic. First is first one in, last one out. And I think about Michael Jordan has always been talked about being the first one to practice, last one to leave. Kobe Bryant, same thing. Cool story about Kobe Bryant that I heard was a reporter was going to do a story on Kobe Bryant and talk to him about a few different things. And so he asked, you know, hey, when's a good time to do that? He heard everybody came down to practice every day at 6 30. So he figured he'd come watch the practice and then do his story. So he got there a little bit early. He's like, man, I'll beat Kobe there. I'll show him, hey, you know, I really care about this interview. Uh but what surprised him was when he got there at 6, Kobe was already there and he was already sweaty. Kobe had been there since 4 a.m. And that was typical of Kobe. He'd come in at 4 a.m., the rest of the team would come in at 6 30. And he was always trying to get better. And that's probably most likely what made him great. Alright, y'all. Number two, Terry Savelle. The checklist every high achiever needs for success. Goals are dreams with deadlines. She gave a story about a lady who unfortunately she lost all hope and she went to a bridge and jumped off that bridge. About two minutes later, she heard a splash. Well, a guy jumped off, just didn't even think about what he saw, and he was emotionally distraught, so he wanted to jump in there and help her out. But then he realized once he jumped in that he didn't know how to swim. And so she looked over and she's trying to uh commit suicide, and there's a guy next to her dying, and she can't watch that happen. So she ends up rescuing the guy, bringing him to the shore, and then gets better. Thank God she didn't take her life, and everything ended up working out. Well, the thing behind the story is talking about how when you have a purpose, it really helps drive you in life. Once she had a purpose, and that was saving that man's life, she forgot about her own issues and just went to help him out. She did. So her checklist, which is on the podcast, and as you know, I always attach all these podcasts I talk about on the show notes, so it's easy for you to get to them if you'd like to listen to them in detail, which you should because they're always so good. Number one on her checklist was hasten the mission. Just meaning, have that sense of urgency. Never say just. I just want to pay off my loans, or I just want to lose a little bit of weight. Take the word just out of it and say, you know what? I will pay off my loans. I will lose the weight. Replace that word and don't use it. Number two, replace I want with I am on a mission. I want to lose weight or I am on a mission. I am going to be obsessed about about it, is what she talks about. And she's right. It's a lot of it in your mindset and your words on how you're thinking about what you're going to do. Number three, have your goals in writing. Once goals are in writing, believe it or not, they you improve your chances of having them succeed by 80%. And that was a survey that Harvard did. They tracked people for 10 or 20 years watching how goals were being set and what they did. And usually the people that wrote down their goals were 80% more likely to achieve those goals. So write them down and then review them. Try to review them in the morning, maybe in the evening before you go to bed, and then just work hard after them. You'll get them. They'll come true. And then she talked about handle the big rocks first. And so if you think about a jar, a glass jar, if you filled it with sand and with little pebbles, you would never be able to get the big rocks in the jar because there's no room for them. So she talks about our schedules in life. If we have all these little distractions always kind of leading us every which way, and we never schedule for what needs to get done, the big rocks, then it never happens. So make sure you keep the main things the main things. She talks about getting a mentor to help you succeed. Get with people who have already done what you want to do. The best way to solve a problem is to find someone who already has. If you want to grow faster, hire a master. She covers some more great things and she has a checklist. So if you go to her show and go to her show notes, you'll be able to get all that. Terry Savelle is always fabulous. All right, number three. Mr. Joel Osteen, making miracles out of mistakes. He talks about how too many people sit on the sidelines because of their mistakes. A negative past does not disqualify you from a great future. Receive God's mercy by faith. God never gives up on you. Ever, ever, ever, ever. God will always give you it another chance. Don't focus on your mistakes and get your hopes up again. When you get off course, God finds another way if you just have the heart to serve God. God. God is not a fault finder. Ask God for help and forgiveness and He will help you. That is what mercy is all about. God wants you to succeed. He created you to live an abundant life. It doesn't please God to walk around and just be negative and defeated. Where you are is not a surprise to God. Get up every morning knowing God has a bright future for you. Our weekly challenge will be to identify the love languages for yourself to know how you receive love, and then also for the one that you love, so you know how to express that love to another one. And that will be great. I think it will bring your relationships, all the relationships in your life to the next level. Powerful stuff. Wow. Alright, y'all. Until next time, I want you to know you're amazing, you're unstoppable, you are dynamic, you're incredible, you are a masterpiece. And I mean that. Please receive that and believe it. Never, ever, ever, ever stop dreaming and believing big. You deserve big. Dream big. And you know, they talk about so many times, you know, guys die at 40, but they're buried at 70. And think about that. A lot of people die at 40, but they they're actually physically buried at 70. What that means is all their dreams, their hopes, and everything else has died pretty much by the time they're 40. They've had failures, all the things they thought they'd do in their 20s. Some panned out, some didn't. So I would encourage you, if that's you, and you've had your dreams die off, man, start dreaming big again. You deserve it. As long as you're breathing air, you can have a believe big mentality. And I want you to. All right. You deserve the best of the best. Your best days are not behind you, they are ahead of you. Our community is on the road to one million, a community of people that make an impact. We're not takers, we don't just take. We contribute and we give, and the world is better because all of us are on it. And thank you, Lord, for everything you do for all the people that are listening right now. Until next time, have a super great week and God bless. All right, love y'all.

SPEAKER_00 24:16

Thank you once again for listening to a conversation of hope with Brett. Brett wants to remind you that you are loved and appreciated. If you found value in this episode and know someone who could use a little hope and encouragement, please like, share, and subscribe. Be sure to check out the show notes for links to Brett's top three podcasts of the week. And don't forget, Brett is offering a free copy of his book. Just send an email to gpxfreedom at gmail.com to claim yours. If you're facing a tough challenge and would like another perspective on how to navigate it, feel free to email us at gpxfreedom at gmail.com. We'd love to help. Until next time, wishing you and your family an incredible week and ultimately a great life. Because you, yes, you deserve it. God bless you.