Season 1: Question 3 - What worries you about the aging process?

10 women answer the question - What worries you about the aging process?

Transcript

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welcome to 10 women bringing together 10 women with 10 thought-provoking questions based on one theme during this episode of 10 women we'll hear 10 different answers to this question what worries you about the aging process women worry I think it's hardwired into our brains um it's easy to get overwhelmed by the strange nature of Aging yes and there's a lot to worry about women have a lot of concerns to share so what is your wor sass oh dementia hands down um I've had several people in my life who have struggled with dementia and um watching them literally lose themselves is just heartbreaking and it's horrible for the people around them I think it's for them it's not nearly as hard as the people who they love and I don't want to be a heavy burden to those people I care about right and I worry about losing my Independence I want to be able to do what I want what I want and so be losing my ability to do that really worries me and how am I'm going to adjust to that before we hear the 10 answers remember to take a moment to think about your own answer to this question what worries you about the aging process and don't forget that we want to hear your answers too follow our 10 women series on Instagram to share your thoughts and to read the responses of others in our community visit our website to find other ways to connect uh my name is Abigail dun Moses and I am an educator of adults who heals the Brokenhearted nothing I mean um I remember my uh brother's father-in-law saying saying something like aging is not for sissies and he was talking about his aches and his pains and his ailments is what he was really talking about um I don't worry about those I I just imagine that those are things that will come over time it's a natural part of aging um and then other than that uh there's nothing really that I worry about there's uh the prospect that um my children might not take care of me when I'm older but my strategy to handle that is to have a diversified portfolio of people I have people in different walks of life that I know that I love deeply and who deeply love me um and then from time to time uh I have the opportunity to pay it forward so there was a time in my life where I adopted a a brother and a sister he was 86 and she was like 83 or something and uh I took care of them took them to their doctor's appointments and when the time was come when the time came rather I uh um looked for a nursing home for them and when the time came I organized a funeral and my prayer is God give me somebody to take care of me when it's my turn and I'm confident that will happen simply because I have a diversified portfolio that's what I call it ni now it's not that I don't worry about nothing um this is uh a little uh uh vulnerable but uh one of the things that I uh discovered l lately is that uh I have a very uh anxious attachment uh style so even though loving people is my deepest value when it becomes intimate I put on the brakes you know it's like you can have all of me but you can't have my heart that's when it comes to the intimate part of things and so I'm learning uh that um that's not always a dangerous thing my name is Susan sasman and I am an extrovert a creative Visionary and a nurturing kind of gal it's the the necessary losses of Aging mostly um Mobility and because I've been a very active person I was a dancer when I was younger I love to you know fly through space at the speed of light but I can't do that anymore so um losing my dignity you know having someone have to change my diapers eventually um losing my memory and having people get frustrated about that that I can't remember like I used to I can't move around like I used to it's um the loss of dignity and the loss of your faculties makes me sad and maybe that's why I don't want to hear the organ recital because it just makes me sad and I want to be happy for as many days as I'm going to be on the planet so dwelling on the negative is not really in my wheelhouse I am Lana Martin and I am an aunt a daughter and a friend I guess the thing that worries me the most is like I said I don't have any children children so who's going to take care of me when I get old cuz I'm taking care of my mom so it's like I have to figure something out I guess I got to take care of myself so that's the only thing I worry about getting lonely you know when all the other people are aren't really around and not having you know children or anything to come visit me things are going to ache see less like I'm having trouble seeing when I drive at night now so that's pretty I'm like I'm too young for that but yeah it's the truth so those little things I don't know that I dwell on it to to much to even you know give it that much space in my mind but I mean I do concern be concerned about being lonely I guess finding good friends and making other relationships is really important trying to develop that right now you know cuz I have I have my sister I have my nieces so I mean I know they'll be there my name is an Sparks hyphen bomb Garder and I am a caregiver um I'm a member of a women's organization that I'm very passionate about I a cyclist um I'm a road road cyclist and um I love being out of Dooors I'm at I'm 73 and it just seems like right now whenever I I meet people they're always telling me about what's wrong with them they've got this or they've got that or they've got this ache they've got a hip problem they've got a knee problem I I mean I'm a bone on bone in my right knee but I'm putting putting that off uh with syis shots so uh it's just seeing seeing the Aging that's happening so many and I've had I've lost friends I've lost my husband uh you know relatives that die and uh my my cousins all the ailments that they have and um and you know the other day I was somewhere and I told someone I was 73 and well you sure don't look it you know you know I get a lot of compliments from people telling me that I don't look my age and I think you know yeah but how how much longer are you going to be able to keep that up that's I I worry about that how how what where when's the other shoe going to drop for me you know my mother had breast cancer and colon cancer and gallbladder and you know I'm thinking but then everyone says well but she lived to be 105 you've got jeans you've got you've got long life to live so yeah I worry about that my name is Terry Wiggins and I am a woman I am a mother and I am a daughter well I'm having some physical changes um I I was encouraged by my daughter to go to the burn boot camp oh my goodness um I was the Elder there and I did make it through 10 sessions and then that was it because enough already with could I breathe um so I realized that perhaps I'm not quite in the shape that I was earlier so being flexible and mobile and doing all the things I love to do travel and hike I want to make sure I am keeping that and I have a fear that maybe I won't and then there's that skin thing oh my gosh my skin is thinner it's more fragile uh bruising more easily um and then I'm talking with my hands a lot not so much here but I'm getting distracted because the upper arm is flapping away and I I get I can't even think of what I've said you know what I mean and then you know I've got a little extra weight so all these things are are changing my image of myself it's like who am I now and am I going to be accepted am I going to be are people going to see me are they going to hear me um so just am I accepting myself like this so you know I have never worn makeup in my life and I thought maybe I should wear makeup today because I could well it it went through my mind let's I don't even have any but it went through my mind because I thought oh I've got to look really good and I said what the heck no it's it's all good here I am um so having um memory loss both long and shortterm memory is a worry for me um what else is a worry for me um oh wanting to continue to do service work and continue working as I mentioned earlier I love working and what would might prevent me from doing that and again my daughter approached me just last week and asked me Mom do you have any plans for a time when you may not be able to live independently and I said well I've thought about it I haven't done a lot of research I haven't really visited a lot of places um so the fear of oo perhaps one day not being able to live independently and where do I go after that so that has come up um hi my name is Michelle I am a gynecologist bicyclist and someone who loves life my body oh absolutely absolutely it's just not holding up the way I hoped it would um I've got very bad arthritis in my hands um part of the reason why I'd have given up obstetrics is that I'd rather my hands hurt from doing fun things rather than doing work things um the the back the knees the knees don't let me run anymore had to give up the triathlons and the cyclocross because of that not sure that I'm ready for a need placement even though the the needs probably are ready for that um that's and that as a a as a gynecologist I have a perspective that goes beyond just the you know my friends at family I see my patients aging I see what's going on with them and so it's not easy for me to kind of go oh yeah if when I'm 75 I'll be fine it it isn't always that easy when you see other people who may not be doing as well as you think they should so um it's it's kind of a surprising kind of thing that that was what was happening and a little bit a lot sooner than I had anticipated as well my name is Judy Fowler I am an educator a mom and a team player I think for me as I joke I'm a former college basketball player so my body feels old my joints hate me already so I've already had a glimpse I had an orthopedic surgeon tell me one time in my 20s that have knes of a 70-year-old so I joke that I kind of feel that already in some ways but I think for me it's it's I joke too that I'm genetically blessed by my family you know we're all try to be very healthy but just genetics they do what they do you know and so I'm already kind of dealing with some of the results of that and being on some medications that I really prayed I'd never have to be but I am I think for me it's just making sure that I can maintain a high quality of life obviously I'm never going to go back to being the super healthy 20-year-old College athlete ever again but I think it's understanding that it's not just about the physical domain so with my background and health and wellness I look at the Dimensions of Wellness so I want to make sure I'm hitting on all high levels in all the categories of the Dimensions of Wellness but really mental health probably is the the biggest one for me right now I think mental health is so important and it drives so many things that go on it's kind of in the way the silent killer is if people are thinking in different ways or they're just not happy in different ways but don't know how to deal with it appropriately I think that just really deteriorates uh quality of life so I just really want to have a high quality of life and to take in and make sure I make more time and be intentional about making time to make myself happy but make the people around me happy as well my name is Kimberly Burke and I'm a human a teacher and a lover I'm terrified of dementia you know the second I forget something I'm like oh my God here it's starting it's really scary to me because I've watched so many people in my family kind of go away um so that terrifies me and then I'm so close to retirement and I've watched people retire and then you know drop dead 6 months later um or get have something happen to them chronic illness or something where they can't fulfill all the things they've been waiting to fulfill um so that's that's hard but I'm I'm confident you know cuz I'm so close knock on wood that I'm going to retire early so that I can do some of the things that I want to do I want to see the Grand Canyon I want go see the United States I want to you know get up when I want to get up just do just live life a little or a lot in my case my name is Marie Leonard and I am a mom a daughter and an energetic lover of life I mean that's what's hard is is seeing my my family and that that so there's that how you don't know like how much genetics really play a role like what about the environment is impacting us like there's all these unknowns that are impacting us so it's hard to like what are my levers that I can control and then what do I just have to release and say like I can't I can't worry about that um so that's what sometimes hard is is like you know when you have things like Alzheimer's a lot in your family like when when will that will that come for me I don't know um what can I do to prepare I don't know I mean there's there are things that I can do to to do my best um so that's hard sometimes is knowing like will things change um and will that come you know cuz I don't really I prefer that not be my experience um but I think the other parts I mean I when I look at at people who I I love how older people they just Li they're just so happy to enjoy their lives and they're like Simple Pleasures and that part to me doesn't worry me of of having simplification and simple Joys um that part I'm like yeah all right I'm I'm here for it my name is Abigail Seymour and I am an entrepreneur a lawyer and an neogram 7 missing out missing out on things letting life moving too quickly and as as as we age and slow down and our vision changes there's just so many exciting interesting things going on in the world I I worry that I'll I'll miss them um but and of course our body's breaking down and illness and things that happen to us but again it's there's only so much we can control in that so um I wouldn't say it worries me so much I just I I just wish we all had more time so bringing it back to the question what worries you about the aging process how difficult was that question for you to answer and be honest after you answer this question for yourself think about reaching out to other women in your life for their answers remember to share your answers with us in our 10 women series on Instagram we can't wait to read your answers and speaking of answers we've actually got some different answers on our Instagram page that's because we asked all the women surprise questions to learn more about them join us on Instagram at 10w women series to hear their answers we hope you will join us every Tuesday for a new episode wherever you listen to your favorite podcast pods this series is distributed both as an audio only and a YouTube video format to allow you to enjoy each episode your preferred way be sure to visit our website at www sassy.com to learn more about this series and all the places you can find us 10 women is a production of sasam media Amy Brown and Sarah Howard producers feel free to send us an email at sassy media Gmail special thanks to the women of season 1 Kimberly Burke Judy Fowler Michelle Horvath Marie Leonard lyanna Martin Abigail dun Moses Susan sasman Abigail Seymour Anne Sparks bum gner and Terry Wiggins