Season 1: Question 7 - Imagine you get to have a conversation with yourself ten years ago. What would surprise your younger self about you now?

Imagine you get to have a conversation with yourself ten years ago. What would surprise your younger self about you now?

Transcript

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welcome to 10 women bringing together 10 women with 10 thought-provoking questions based on one theme during this episode of 10 women we'll hear 10 different answers to this question imagine you get to have a conversation with yourself 10 years ago what would surprise your younger self about you now our priorities and our motivations definitely change over time what are you embracing now that your younger self would be as surprised about so 10 years ago my son was two and he was in that whole toddler dumb age and I thought God it's just so hard you know to sleep and you know chasing after a kid and now I think it be surprised that it's actually much harder as I get older I was completely surprised um for me it's um my younger self would probably be surprised at how I feel differently now like physically differently the aches and pains the level that I'm at now um I've tried really hard to eat well and to exercise but some of those activities have actually contributed to the ouch um for example for years I I danced Barefoot and I think it contributed to my Mort Aroma in my foot so past Sarah wear supportive shoes before we hear the 10 answers remember to take a moment to to think about your own answer to this question imagine you get to have a conversation with yourself 10 years ago what would surprise your younger self about you now and don't forget that we want to hear your answers too follow our 10 women series on Instagram to share your thoughts and to read the responses of others in our community visit our website to find other ways to connect my name is Kimberly Burke and I'm a human a teacher and a lover I've always thought that I was going to die young um but I've also had you know tons of Life Experiences like cancer a bazillion times and I broke my neck and and and um and I really didn't think I would get old um and I didn't think I would make it through you know even emotionally or whatever but I have made it through every bad day I've ever had and I persist and I really didn't realize how persistent I would be when I was young and that kind of goes back to being my own superhero that in those darkest of days I just never dreamed I would see the light again both physically and mentally and here I am my name is Judy Fowler I am an educator a mom and a team player this is a great question cuz I look at it as um trying to think where I was you know like where I was personally professionally you know 10 years ago we're getting ready well the birth of our first child you know all those different things right all all that fun and this the scariness was happening um doing things a little bit later in life anyway you know so we waited you know we we did career first and then family second you know we want to be established um but if I think about that I think 10 years ago I would probably be high-fiving and saying good for you for opening your mouth cuz I was not always the one that would open my mouth first I still sit back and I process and I observe I think that's again being the only child and um being around a lot of adults and then of course some situations it was being around conversations only in Korean I I I understood the language a lot better when I was younger but I was able to understand inflection you know I was able to read all the different things but I think as I used I would as I joke like there's something liberating about being in your 50s like all a sudden 50 hits and you're like okay now all a sudden I open my mouth and I I remember even saying why did I wait so long so I think if if were me 10 years ago it'd be like add a girl at a girl you need to do this and looking back wishing that I would have done it 10 years ago my name is Terry Wiggins and I am a woman I am a mother and I am a daughter yes I um had some thoughtfulness on this one I wasn't sure where to go with it uh I'm living in a townhouse which I never thought I would be living in I don't have a grandchild yet uh I'm still working which I wasn't sure you know where that would lead me and um that again just brings me such Joy so I have to continue doing that but I didn't know if I would 10 years ago um and I realized that I don't have a fear of dying I'm okay with with that whole aspect of life um I probably never looked at aging as a um developmental task so to speak before 10 years ago it's like oh you know I've studied the developmental tasks earlier on but as an elder no and one of the things that I read is that we get a chance to nourish ourselves as Elders so um you know we've got permission to do that so to speak um I'm still again appreciating the traveling idea who knew that I'd still love to travel yes my friends and I get together it could be one friend it could be two friends three four five and we try to put our heads together to remember things and that's something who knew if memor where memory would be 10 years previous to this but we ask each other to help remember what that actor's name is and and what film that actor was actually in and um so it's been interesting to to look at the support that we have for each other in trying to remember things and then we're okay with it we kind of laugh at ourselves and the other place where I laugh is hearing myself groan when I get up from the floor to a standing position and um my dad used to do this and I kind of chuckled when he did this cuz he seemed so fit it's like what's happening this groan just comes out of me and I have no control over it and so I get to not only remember my father I get to laugh at myself because why am I groaning it's just it's just an interesting thing and I'm not the only one my name is Susan sasman and I am an extrovert a creative Visionary and a nurturing kind of gal my younger self would be surprised at how much I make me the center of my life because 10 years ago I was still doing a lot of things for a lot of people and that would feed my self-esteem and over the last 10 years I have learned that I get to benefit as well and that I can pour a whole lot of love back into me and that everybody else will be okay so um you know that's that's one thing my younger self would be surprised at how much um balance memory and um Mobility I have lost from the age of 60 to 70 um I just can't move like I used to and um and maybe I don't want to anymore maybe I want to go slower but she would be surprised that 10 years in only 10 years how much slower I move through space and how much of my memory is just not not there anymore I'm holding on to all the things that I think are important but a lot of other things are just going to the Wayside and um it's embarrassing for those of us that are aging when memory starts to play a part and then you start thinking do I have Alzheimer's or something but um I think it's the you know the breakdown of the body between 60 and 70 despite the fact that you're lifting weights or you're in the gym and you're doing yoga and you're taking naps and drinking water and taking vitamins though we are doing all those things it is a steady March you know in every 10 years you can really feel the toll that time has taken over the past decade it's a little bittersweet because we're much wiser now but we're not the girl we used to be I am Lana Martin and I am an aunt a daughter and a friend still being single would probably be a surprise for my younger self cuz like she was like I'm getting right back out there but yeah and actually right now I'm good with it you know so I think my younger self would have been like not expecting to be able to be that way but like fiercely independent now and I don't think I was like that at 34 and then what else um still struggling with weight issues probably would be a surprise too it's like you haven't gotten that under control yet but I mean that's what it is what it is so you know we work on it and I don't think that's necessarily negative I don't feel that way about way you know some people hate that about themselves I mean I accept it and it's fine you know and it isn't adversely affecting my my health so I don't worry about it too much but it is a thing I think that a 34 year old me cared a lot more about than 44 me year old me does um something positive that they would like about me um still being at the same place of employment I think is a positive thing that might be surprising just surprised by how things turned out you know it's not what you expect when you think of where you'll be in 10 years it's never going to be what you think you know unless you really work to make that happen my name is Abigail Seymour and I am an entrepreneur a lawyer and an anagram seven that I don't feel any older than I did then I think when I that younger self would be like you're going to feel like you're a you're going to be old and B you're going to really feel old and neither of those things are true at all um and I think also that everything that I was going through or or dreaming about or or setting my sights on at that time was going to be worth it because that was a very difficult period for me that was when I um got divorced well no I didn't get divorced I went to law school I lost my sister um I was diagnosed with cancer not too long after that um and all of those things were hurdles that just felt like I wasn't going to get there and that it was all for not um and I someone said to me everything you want is on the other side of comfort and so I was willing to go through that discomfort but I think if I my younger self would say you know this is a terrible idea what you're doing don't it's not worth it and and it's going to wear you out and by the time you're 10 years from now you're going to be exhausted and I would say no that's not true at all like none of that all of those things you were afraid of none of them came true I wish I had thought of it it was a therapist who said it to me and I was like that's such a genius point cuz I wanted to quit and not take the bar I didn't want to take the bar exam again I failed it the first time I had breast cancer right after that and I didn't want to keep going I wanted to basically say I shouldn't do this right like the world is telling me not to keep going the universe is saying your body can't take it you it's okay for me to do something else and he didn't say anything just said everything he wants on the other side of comfort and I was like I didn't like that answer but he was right my name is an Sparks hyphen bomb Garder and I am a caregiver um I'm a member of a women's organization that I'm very passionate about I a cyclist um I'm a road road cyclist and um I love being out ofd doors I thought about that one too um I think that if I was able to to talk to myself young I'd say oh don't worry so much oh my gosh that the things are going to be okay and you you spend way way too much time worrying about how things are going to turn out or or or how how what people think of you um it doesn't matter and relax a little bit more um yeah and how incredibly strong you are I never ever thought of myself as a strong person and a lot of people say I am and I think uh going through uh 5 years of my husband having cancer and taking care of him um and then him passing s away at' 66 I I just I never dreamed you know I I thought that that life would end when he was gone but guess what life goes on and I have accomplished I mean I've driven to British Columbia I've driven to California twice um you know I've done some some pretty amazing things I just if I decide to do something I do it you know I'm cautious but um yeah I I I'm I guess I'm pretty I would tell myself wait till you see the things that you can accomplish and and and and be more confident just be more confident um hi my name is Michelle I am a gynecologist bicyclist and someone who loves life I'm a less of a worry wart now um more comfortable in my skin um going back to that perfectionist thing earlier I I think I've let a little bit go and happier in general with myself so I I would say to myself you're actually not going to run around like a maniac every time you get to Vacation anymore that's partly thanks to my wife too um and I I don't feel like I have to do everything all the time to the nth degree I think that would surprise me I think that would surprise me because even 10 years ago I was still full on full court press taking on patience and uh and and promising uh deliveries of of certain people to because I thought it was the right thing to do and so yeah I think I would I would be surprised if I if I realize it wasn't doing that later on my name is Marie Leonard and I am a mom a daughter and an energetic lover of life um your house is still a little bit messy um that you're there's there's some a couple things that I think about that like those those clothes that you've been holding on to they're still not going to fit so you should probably just get rid of them um like let your attic have some breathing space um cuz they're still not going to fit and but that you're going to have have a lot more time cuz in 10 years ago I was still in the throws of little league and all the practices and you know raising up of a you knowe Upper Elementary School aged uh son and so now like I have time I'm you know at the heading into the emptiness era and yeah I have a lot more time and so I think my younger self would say like whoa wow girl you got some time like go go enjoy that um and yeah and that and that some things are the same like that the things that I I love then and now are still the same I think the younger self would be like wow you're still at it you're still stitching you're still cooking um your family's still like my mom is still still kicking um cuz at 10 years ago they told us that she probably wouldn't be that much longer and so she's still going which is great um so I think my young if I could tell my younger self a a thing to just say like take a deep breath because that that self was pretty stressed out little little tightly wound um and I don't know if it really served me very well so like just relax it's going to be okay no one's everyone's going to be here so just take a breath uh my name is Abigail on Moses and I am an educator of adults who heals the Brokenhearted you've come a long way baby oh goodness gracious me she would say wow I wasn't sure you'd make it um because uh you know I I deal with a lot I'm I came here when I was 18 to the United States when I was 18 to go to college and I got uh fire hosed down with American culture that's that that can make you say ouch you know um and then professionally just breaking into the work that I did um is difficult enjoyable I love it but it's difficult um being married with children getting divorced recovering all of that is things that she would say girl I didn't know whether you'd make it I have uh let me tell you a quick story you can cut this out if you want to but um my sister and I she she lives in Nigeria and she visits periodically uh we were sitting at a Mexican restaurant and uh we were commiserating about a friend who wanted to write but was not able to write there was just a a block there um and and uh I was commiserating by saying oh but it's been so difficult uh because she's gone through this and she's gone through that and she's gone through the other and my sister looked at me and said just look at you think about everything that you've gone through you you you deserve an Oscar oh she made me laugh that day you deserve an Oscar for all the problems and challenges that you've had and you're still sitting up upright full of joy heart to love she said don't make excuses for her but the part about I mean thinking about my life and an Oscar it was like that's what made it so funny yeah coming back to the question imagine you get to have a conversation with yourself 10 years ago what would surprise your younger self About You Now how difficult was that question for you to answer and be honest after you answer this question for yourself think about reaching out to other women in your life for their answers remember to share your answers with us and our 10 women's series on Instagram we can't wait to read your answers and speaking of answers we've actually got some different answers on our Instagram page that's because we asked all the women surprise questions to learn more about them join us on Instagram at 10w women series to hear their answers we hope you will join us every Tuesday for a new episode wherever you listen to your favorite podcasts this series is distributed both as an audio only and a YouTube video format to allow you to enjoy each episode episode your preferred way be sure to visit our website at www sassy.com to learn more about this series and all the places you can find us 10 women is a production of sasam media Amy Brown and Sarah Howard producers feel free to send us an email at sassy media gmail.com special thanks to the women of season 1 Kimberly Burke Judy Fowler Michelle hor Marie Leonard lyanna Martin Abigail dun Moses Susan sasman Abigail Seymour an Sparks bum gner and Terry Wiggins