Team_Wing_It
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Team_Wing_It
TWI #5 From Bubble Tea Disasters to Beyblade Glory: April's Rollercoaster
Have you ever had a month so awful you wanted to completely erase it from existence? Dave Morgan certainly has, and he's not holding back about April's spectacular failures. From personal plans constantly derailed to unexpected parenting duties consuming six out of seven weekends, this episode delivers an uncensored, cathartic rant about when life just won't cut you a break.
Despite the chaos, there are glimmers of hope – like Josh's triumphant victory at his Beyblade tournament where he conquered competitors twice his age, prompting Dave's tongue-in-cheek threat that "anything less than first place means you're up for adoption." After three years of wardrobe door-less living, Dave's new property manager is finally addressing long-neglected maintenance issues, proving that sometimes things must get worse (like rent increases) before they get better.
The month's disappointments continued with an underwhelming International Bubble Tea Day experience that Dave colorfully describes as "drinking rotten compost in a cup" – a far cry from his previous sugar-fueled adventure that had him "bouncing around Knox City like Tigger." But May brings fresh opportunities, including International Harry Potter Day and Star Wars Day celebrations featuring an epic lightsaber battle with family and friends. Dave's refreshingly honest approach reminds us all that sometimes the best response to life's challenges is finding humor in the absurdity and looking forward to plastic weapon combat with loved ones.
Ready for an unfiltered, entertaining glimpse into one man's catastrophic month? Listen now, and you'll feel significantly better about your own life challenges by comparison. Subscribe for more authentic, humorous takes on navigating life's unexpected curveballs!
Hello, welcome to episode 5 of the Team Wicked podcast, and I am your host, dave Morgan. It is currently the 1st of May. I'm hoping to knock this out all in one afternoon evening night type thing and explain to you why April sucked a giant bag of dicks, not just one of the small fun size the family fucking pack that you can get from Costco. It was just shit. I mean, it was just. I don't know what the fuck I've done in a previous life to deserve this. But yeah, april, my God, if I could defriend April I would. I'd kick it right in the nuts. It was just a case of anytime plans were made, shit would get in the way, something would go wrong, or something was planned, something would stuff that up or, for some reason, just anything that could go wrong did so it was like yep, we are currently writing off April. It did not exist this year. I'm not at all happy with it, did not get to do half the shit I wanted to do, which is why there weren't a lot of videos done this month. I did one up in Bellrave and when I was house-sitting my sister's place. That was actually kind of cool. But the rest of it, my goodness. I mean, like tonight I'm actually home alone, but I've had Josh for the past. Well, six out of the last seven days. Well, over the last week it was six out of the seven days because of reasons and circumstances and shit-knacker and bumblefucker stuff. And after this weekend out of six weekends I have been totally child-free, one of them Once again because of stuff and reasons and shit people and just, yeah, just things. So it's a case of it's time to just go. You know what F everyone else. I've got to start thinking about me now. Sometimes I just need a fucking time out. Maybe just go sit and rock in the corner, maybe not rock in the corner, but I need just my weekends back. As much as I love my kid and I really do he's like number one in my fucking world it's a case of you know what? No, sometimes I just need time for me. Drink up me hearty, joe-ho.
Speaker 1:Now, talking about Josh, in the last podcast, which was done April 17th, I believe, if I remember correctly, I talked about him doing his second Beyblade tournament Easter weekend on the Saturday, and he actually came first. There was only eight people there. It was Easter weekend, so there weren't a whole lot of people, but there were people like in their 20s there and he was beating them. So I was like holy crap, if we could monetize this somehow, he could finally pull his weight around here. So that could be kind of cool. But you know what? I won't charge him rent yet I don't see him earning a living out of babylose. But he was super excited to win his tournament second one ever. But of course I had to be me and tell him. You know what, since you've won your second one you came third last time anything less than this is now a failure. That's it. Tough luck. You lose. From now on you even come second. You're up for adoption.
Speaker 1:Well, the guy behind the counter thought it was funny. Josh just looks at me and shakes his head like he normally does. So he tried to be shocked and pretended to be shocked, but he just ignored me and he was just happy looking at the prize he had won, which was a two-pack of more Beyblades, because the kid has not enough Beyblades. I mean, he has two full shopping bags full of Beyblades, but never enough. But he did do really well and I am proud of him and I sat there and watched and, oh, we did hear there was some Beyblade tournament in the city and it had like 125 people or something or other and it went for six hours. I told Josh, you are not doing that tournament because I refused to sit there listening to Beyblades hitting, the plastic stadium dings and bursting and all this shit for six hours. Not a hope in hell. Oh my God, it would drive me batshit crazy. So no, I will happily do the small ones at Churnside and that is it. Oi, fish mates, do something. Oi, congeal it, come to negotiate. Eh have you, you slimy git. Now.
Speaker 1:Last episode, I remember talking about my getting a lease renewal and the price going up and all this sort of shit. And the funny thing about that was just before that happened. What weekend was it? It was the only kid-free weekend I think I had. If I remember correctly Could have been. I believe so. It was because I went out with Leanne's family for lunch on the Saturday for Sam's birthday, and on the Sunday the toilet packed up.
Speaker 1:I didn't really give two shits, because it was a case of you know what? I'm going to start house-sitting this afternoon. So I rang the after hours. They never got back to me, assholes. And then I emailed the agent because I have a new agent, property manager type thing. The last one just didn't seem to give a shit. So I cruised through all the inspections. This one actually offered a few ideas on what to do, things that I need to look at. Not an issue, no problem whatsoever. But I messaged her and she's like right onto it. So within a week I had an electrical compliance done. They had to replace a couple of PowerPoints. I had my toilet fixed, so that was good. And what was the other thing I had? It was something else. Oh, that's right.
Speaker 1:She asked after the inspection what happened to your wardrobe door. I said, well, it's never been there, it's sitting in the garage. I have an email from before I moved in saying well, try and get that fixed before you get your keys. Now I think it's June, july I can't remember the month I moved in here. It's been three years and I've never had a wardrobe door. And yeah, she's like no, we're sorting something out for that. So she's got someone in and he's messaging me and hey, that door's fucked, we need to sort something out, but your property manager's on holidays for Easter, so after that, very cool. So I'm working on that. So at least with my price increase, I'm getting shit done around this place, because my agent is really good. She's paying attention to shit, so it's like, excellent, we're getting stuff fixed. This is cool. So this place I may actually have a wardrobe door for the first time in three years, instead of all my shit just on display for anyone that walks into my bedroom, which isn't anyone. But it's nice to actually be able to have a door that I can shut. Were you part of the plan? I'm not looking for trouble, what a horrible one but it's nice to actually be able to have a door that I can shut.
Speaker 1:So, this being May the 1st, yesterday was International Bubble Tea Day. Now, I've had it once before and it was decent. It was odd, wasn't something I would have picked for myself, but it was all right. So, because yesterday was International Bubble Tea Day, leanne and I went and got bubble tea from a place that was recommended to us from an unknown source. Unnamed source wasn't unknown, an unnamed source, because we will not interrogate him or him. Ah, god damn it. What's the word I'm thinking of? We won't throw him under the bus, shall we say. But yes, we went to the place that was recommended and it was fucking awful.
Speaker 1:The last time I had it, man, I got hyperactive of all the sugar and shit and it was just like I was bouncing around knox city like a tigger it was. I'm sure it drove Leanne a little nuts, but she just thought yep, you go have fun, you just enjoy yourself, run yourself ragged and wear yourself out and do what you do. Yes, there was no hyperactivity, it was just like this is just shit. It's like I'm drinking fucking rotten compost in a cup and it was just not good. Later on we found out maybe management had changed or maybe the different staff behind the counter, who knows, but either way, it was very, very freaking ordinary. So we thought the end of April may redeem itself with bubble tea.
Speaker 1:No, bubble tea sucked. So I may have to try a different place again and I may have to try a milk one, maybe not just a fruit one. And I had this mango popping bubble tea things and whereas in the other one that I tried of Leanne's it was like just balls of snot, this one you hold them on your tongue and you press down on something and they burst and the mango flavor and it was all very odd. I don't know that. I don't understand, I don't think, the craze behind it. But well, look, I will continue my journey. I will continue to search out a good bubble tea place. I will continue to search for a bubble tea that is good, the compost fruity ones. I'm not completely sold on. The first one was definitely better than the second. So, yes, we'll double check and we'll sort of investigate more and I'll find something good.
Speaker 1:I will review bubble tea places, but do not go to tea royale at Knox Ozone. That is pus me. I'm dishonest and a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly. It's the honest ones you want to watch out for.
Speaker 1:So recently I have gotten back into the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, which are fantastic, and you know what? I don't care what anyone says. I love them all and I don't give a shit. I know the last couple were a bit meh at times, but I still love that character of Jack Sparrow, so I don't care. But as much as I'm enjoying my Pirates of the Caribbean at the moment, as you can tell by the little bits in between, what I am enjoying is this Friday is International Harry Potter Day. Now, I'm not a fan of the movies. Well, I must say I've never actually watched them, but I've always convinced myself I won't like them. But Leanne may be coming over and her and Josh are going to watch the movies and I'll watch with them, so we'll see how that goes.
Speaker 1:Then on Sunday is international may the force be with you day. It is international Star Wars day. So as long as Ben isn't working with just Leanne's son he's a major Star Wars person Josh, ben, leanne, myself, maybe Ben's girlfriend Sam I'm not a hundred percent sure on the plan because I never have one, I think we're all going to go and lightsaber fight for some reason, because why the hell not? And yeah, we're going to celebrate Star Wars by beating the shit out of each other with plastic Kmart lightsabers and hey, sounds like fun to me. Of course, everyone will go gentle on Josh and Leanne and I'm pretty convinced they're all going to beat the shit out of me. But you know what it could be fun.
Speaker 1:So because of Star Wars Day, because of International May, the 4th Day, I have decided the song of this podcast is going to be Yub Nub. A lot of people are going to go. What the hell is Yub Nub? I'm going to tell you, at the end of I don't remember which one, it was part of the original three Star Wars movies, the one with the Ewoks and at the end of the movie they did this big victory song and dance and Obi-Wan Kenobi or was it him and Yoda showed up as holograms. I can't remember, but I remember the song of Yub Nub. It's the Ewok celebration. So this is what we're going to end with, because this is how I feel like doing it, and let's all celebrate May the 4th, because May the 4th be with all of you people.
Speaker 1:Enjoy, thank you. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. I do it all the time. I do it all the time, oh, oh.