Team_Wing_It
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Team_Wing_It
TWI #10 Sometimes life is just about wearing shower caps and rescuing unicorns
We've finally reached double digits with episode 10 of Team Wing it podcast! It only took six months, but David Morgan is back with stories from school holidays, family gatherings, and unexpected adventures.
• Celebrating a bowling victory against Josh and Kelly with a 32 km/h throw
• Family dinner at Feast French Gully for sister Lizzie's 34th birthday
• Temper tantrums and consequences during mini-golf with Josh
• Christmas in July celebrations "up bush" with good food and poor pool skills
• Spontaneous Saturday adventure in Croydon featuring gelato, a unicorn toy, and a shower cap
• Walking down Main Street with a unicorn under arm while wearing a shower cap
• Dancing around the kitchen to Insane Clown Posse music
• Response to feedback that the podcast was better "when you were angry"
Take off your pants, crack a beer. Welcome everyone to the worst podcast ever. Hello there.
Speaker 2:It's me, david Morgan, and this is the Team Wing it podcast. We are now up to episode 10. We made it to double figures. It only took me six goddamn months, but we finally made it. Who knows, occasionally I can get motivated, and the fact that I'm doing one four, five days after I did my last one, well, my goodness, either I'm bored or motivated, and I haven't figured out which one.
Speaker 3:I am the colour red in a world full of black and white.
Speaker 2:So I finally put together the last podcast on the Wednesday night, which, in between, watching the game three of the state of origin, which Queensland won, I was happy because we lost the first one, won the second and then the last one was in Sydney and I thought, oh, not too confident about this, but you know what we won excellent effort. I mean, I love watching rugby, so what can I say? I enjoyed it. So, yes, in between that I was finally putting this together and then I realised, holy crap, there's so much that has happened between the last podcast and this one when I finally recorded the last one. So I should get off my arse and write shit down and actually do it.
Speaker 2:While I remember and since I'm sitting here on a Saturday afternoon, josh isn't here. He's over at his grandpa's birthday lunch. I think it is somewhere. It's my weekend with him. But I thought, yeah, you can't deprive him of seeing his grandpa on his birthday. So off you go, you go, have fun for a couple of hours. And I thought I've got cleaning to do, I've got shopping to do, so I've done that. And I thought, while I've got the house free, I'm actually going to sit down and do something. Be a little bit creative instead of just sitting on my phone or watching YouTube or doing some mindless bullshit that I really don't need to do. So I thought I'd be a little bit proactive for a change, and so here we go again in less than a week.
Speaker 1:And the part I really don't understand if you're looking for self-help, why would you read a book written by somebody else? That's not self-help, that's help. There's no such thing as self-help. If you did it yourself, you didn't need help. You did it yourself.
Speaker 2:Try to pay attention to the language we've all agreed on so another thing I went and did in between I think it was at halftime, pretty sure it was halftime now I don't know if any, if I put it on the start of Team Weird or the end of Morgan's Meltdown, I can't remember. It was like a while back, but for Christmas I got a shot bucket and it had 16 shots with two layers of eight and both layers are the same. And way back my friend Charmaine and I did a shot and my idea was to get a different person to help me do every shot and we'd video it and montage them all together. Well, it's now July and nobody really stepped forward. I had someone, a couple of people go yeah, yeah, we will, and just, we never got around to it. So I thought I'm bored, this is what I need to do. I need to do this now because I get like that and I get a little impulsive and I just need to do shit now when I think about it, otherwise it would just sit in the cupboard for another six months. So I thought bugger it.
Speaker 2:So I'm sort of in the middle of editing that because, yes, doing seven shots in a row was interesting, my reaction to some of them and yeah, before anyone panics, no, I wasn't plastered. The entire shot bucket of 16 drinks is 5.3 standard drinks, so you halve that and it's 2.6, 2.7 standard drinks, and considering one shot was already gone, so it's even less again. So really I had maybe two and a half drinks. So nobody panicked. It wasn't self-destructive, it wasn't a cry for help, it was just you know what, let's get a video done, let's do this, and hopefully you all laugh at the reaction to some of them because, well, I've watched it back and, yeah, some of those things were God awful is not that complicated.
Speaker 1:You get up, you go to work, you eat three meals, you take one good shit and you go back to bed. What's the fucking mystery?
Speaker 2:I think on the last episode I mentioned that school holidays. So now that saturday after the first week of holidays, let me tell you what's been going on, which hasn't been a great deal like. I worked monday, picked up josh monday night or monday afternoon, um, then josh, kelly and myself went to bowling on the tuesday where I won. First time I've actually won bowling with the three of them, so that was fun and they have this feature which shows you how fast you throw on the bowl down the aisle. So stupid me hit 29 kilometers. I reckon I can break 30 kilometers. In the end I got to 32.1, so I was happy about that. Josh and kelly stayed around the 20, 15 to 20 kilometer mark. Yeah, normally I just throw it as hard as I can and you know what Accuracy that's an afterthought, but I was doing it hard and fast and I was scoring. It was good. So I got over 100, which beat those two because, let's face it, none of us are professional.
Speaker 2:And yeah no, no, that was a lot of fun. Josh had bumpers up and he still lost, so that sucked for him, but big deal, he's 11. Life sucks at times. You will get over it and you will develop. What's the word? Being a good loser, not being a sookie lala, I don't know.
Speaker 2:And and yeah, then Tuesday night we all went out, like my sisters, kelly, kate, liz, mum and dad, nathan, which is Kate's boyfriend, josh, myself for my youngest sister, lizzie's birthday. So she's now 30-something 34, I believe. And then my sister Kate turns 30. She's two years older than Lizzie and that's on the 20th. So, yes, we went out for dinner, celebrated the birthday of the two youngest siblings and, yeah, that was good. We went to feast French Gully buffet, sort of thing. So that was good, catching up with the family. I saw Kelly more in that one day than I normally do in a couple of weeks. So I don't know how I felt about that. But you know what? We can accept that. We'll just have to space out our next visit just to make up the time. What happened Wednesday? Because I had Tuesday Wednesday off, that's right. Josh and I went and played mini golf. Josh had a little bit of a temper tantrum, we could say, and um yeah the rest of the day sort of got shut down because of that.
Speaker 2:So, whoops, he will learn temper tantrums. Do not work with his father. I will shut that shit down and cancel the rest of the day, I don't care. So we sat home for the rest of the day and took him home on the wednesday night oh, that's right. And then I watched state of origin, all that sort of shit.
Speaker 2:So yeah that was all for school holidays this week and like I had Josh last night being Friday, yeah, I've got him Friday night, saturday night, sunday night this weekend, and yeah, so Charmaine came over, we hung out caught up for a bit. So let's see what the next week brings, shall we?
Speaker 5:Did you ever notice that? How many really stupid people you run into during the day? God damn, there's a lot of stupid bastards walking around. Carry a little pad and pencil with you. You wind up with 30 or 40 names by the end of the day. Look at it this way Think of how stupid the average person is and then realize half of them are stupider than that I think I told you all that we had plans for last weekend.
Speaker 2:Well, we had the start of a plan, we had ideas about what we wanted to do. Well, plans changed, things happened, things didn't happen. In fact, friday night we talked about going to the Firelight Festival, I believe. Nah, it was too cold, couldn't be bothered tracking into the city for that shit. To tell you the truth, from the pictures I saw on Facebook, it didn't look like I was missing out on too much. It was just like, meh, big deal, I don't really want to be around people. Too much peopling. People suck, don't want to be around them.
Speaker 2:And Saturday night we were going to go see the Dirty Rats. That was another one of those. Meh, we will eventually. But yeah, today, this weekend is just not the weekend. But on Saturday we did actually do something and I'll tell you about that in a minute. But on the Sunday we did go up to Tulangi or up bush, up banjo country whoop, whoop, somewhere where they can bury bodies on many, many acres and shit up for the Christmas in July thing. And no, that was actually really cool. And yeah, I got to catch up with colin, jane, andrew, got to catch up with people got to play with dogs so got to lose at pool every game I did. So, yeah, bowling's good, mini golf good, pool, not so much, but I can accept that.
Speaker 2:So now, the food was awesome. There was a lot of food. I don't actually remember if we ate dinner on sunday. I don't think we did. Yeah, I'm pretty sure we didn't. We brought home cake, so that was a good thing, but yeah, no, it was just a case of that was good. But yeah, the weekend just didn't turn out the way we sort of had ideas for you know what. It just didn't matter. Quite happy, just chilling, enjoying each other's company and just going. You know what. Let's not make this weekend too busy. And that was pretty good. God damn good that way I don't have pet peeves.
Speaker 1:I have major psychotic fucking hatreds okay.
Speaker 2:Now let me tell you about what happened Saturday. I think it got to about 11.30, midday-ish somewhere around there, and Leanne and I decided, you know what, we should really go out and do something Cool. So we found a gelato place, ice cream type place, in Croydon, which isn't too far from here. So we went down there. I sort of bounced around the shop, dancing to the music a little bit and bantered with the girl behind the counter and she seemed a little bored. So I was like I think we brighten up her day a tad. So we bought our gelato, went to the car, sat in there, ate it, and then we got out of the car and thought, you know what? We should actually walk around, have a look around Croydon Main Street, which I haven't done in a long time and we walked past the gelato place again, because where we were parked was sort of behind there. As we go past, I made a beeline for the gelato place thinking I need more sugar and yeah, leanne's dragged me away and gone. Yeah, no, no, no. And gone. Yeah, no, no, no, no, no, you do not. And the girl laughed.
Speaker 2:So we've gone around looking at unicorn beanies and all sorts of stuff and showed her in a coma in Croydon, which I love that place for all the heavy metal t-shirts and pop culture reference and like just all the collectible sort of stuff there. So one of my favorite shops there and yeah, we just sort of wandered around looking at things. I bought her a stuffed unicorn toy because leanne loves unicorns and um, yeah, then she remembered you know what? I need a shower cap. All right, let's get a shower cap. So I went to the chemist, got a shower. Oh, that's where we found the unicorn beanie.
Speaker 2:So Leanne put on her unicorn beanie and I'm walking and I think we started holding the unicorn one wing each, and then I put the unicorn under my hand, under my arm, and she decided I needed to wear a shower cap. So I chuckle and she goes. I take that as a challenge, all right. So I lean my head towards her. I was walking down Main Street, croydon in a Jack Daniels jacket, unicorn under my arm and a shower cap, and probably not the strangest thing they've seen in Croydon, but I thought it was kind of funny. And at one point Leanne tried stealing the unicorn off me, to which I'm yelling at her no lady, stop stealing my unicorn. At this point there was a guy walking towards us and he went around us. He took a really wide berth around. He was like yeah, I don't know if I want to get involved in this shit.
Speaker 2:And cars were slowing down and looking and I didn't actually notice that I was too busy having fun with being crazy and yeah, leanne and I walked back to the car past the gelato shop and where I tried to go in there another time and Leanne's just like no, nope, nope, nope, and that girl was laughing. You could hear her from outside the shop. She thought this was amusing, so probably still not the strangest thing she's seen either. But and then I came home and we did a video here wearing the shower cap and the unicorn and all that sort of stuff. So if you want, pop on to the team, we youtube check it out. It's a little unusual but it was all in fun, we had a ball doing it and you know what it brightened up our sat day everybody in this room knows the way that I feel about a lot of things.
Speaker 4:Basically, I don't give a fuck is the answer to most things. Everybody's too soft, everybody's too sensitive about everything.
Speaker 2:So, as I record the end of this, you know what? I was dancing around my kitchen to various songs today, and Leanne sent me one and then added to more, and you know the whole Spotify playlist. It continues on and on, and on and on, and then I remembered I found a song by an old favorite band of mine, the Insane Clown Posse. So I'll put that on and continue dancing around the kitchen, and you know what? That's how we're going to end tonight because, to tell you the truth, there's been something said. Now. I actually got told by one person. You know what, dave, the podcasts aren't as good. Since you're not angry anymore, and you know what, this is my response to them. Catch you next episode or Susie's gonna die.
Speaker 3:Everybody's dying slow, I don't give a fuck. I'm only short like 50 bucks. I couldn't get 50 fucks. I could really use some help. You could go and fuck yourself. Everybody's gonna die.
Speaker 3:Terror falling from the sky, mothers with their children crying I could give a fuck why. They say you'll never walk again. Well, like the Sega ear, I think somebody stole my truck. Tell someone who gives a fuck. My entire world is falling. Entire world is falling. My entire world is falling. Entire world is falling.
Speaker 3:How much do they charge in there? Wait a minute, I don't care, i'ma shoot you in the face. I'll tell you how the bullets taste. Say you imitate. I don't give a fuck. You lay no.
Speaker 3:50 million people dying oh, I'm crying. All the things you saw. If I give a fuck at all. You see me sitting in the chair. I ain't even there. Everything you say to me Go right through me. If I was to pick it up, I'd have to give up.
Speaker 3:I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care. Nothing about it. Rainforest burning down, war and riots all around. I'm inside like fuck them all. What's the main event on Raw Waste of mad cow disease? Got your dad with double cheese STD steady spreading Bear back up in his net.
Speaker 3:I don't care. My entire world is falling. My entire world is falling. My entire world is falling. My entire world is falling. My entire world is falling. I don't care nothing about it. I can't do nothing about it. I can't do nothing for it. I don't do nothing for it. I don't care nothing about it. All I really wanna do is die. You open a round where flesh is consumed. That's all I give. Oh, everyone is gonna die. Fuck, I ain't afraid to die. Come on, shoot me in the eye. Do it see if I survive. Give it to me point blank. Better, did you hit him? Yes, and I don't give a fuck. Less Careful, it's a dark night. Get your money or your life. Take them both for all I care. Dump your bullets right here. If you notice on the door, I think they're crawling on the floor. Ask me, did I ever care? Nah, my entire world is falling. My entire world is falling.
Speaker 5:My entire world is falling. My entire world is falling. My entire world is falling. The entire world is falling. The entire world is falling. The entire world is falling. I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care, I don't care.