Rewiring Your Brain with the Practice of Gratitude

Gratitude emerges as a powerful tool in combating life's chaos and negativity. By implementing simple practices, such as acknowledging one thing you're thankful for daily, you can enhance your overall well-being and satisfaction in life. 
• Exploring the concept of negativity bias and its effects 
• Reviewing research indicating benefits of gratitude practices 
• Steps to cultivate gratitude effectively in daily life 
• The significance of picking one specific thing to appreciate 
• Articulating gratitude to strengthen positive feelings 
• The ripple effect of gratitude on those around us 
• The broader benefits of gratitude, including improved health and relationships

Transcript

Lisa: 0:00

Hi there, welcome to Calm and Clarity in Midlife. This is Dr Lisa, and I'm so glad you're here with me today. You know those moments when everything feels overwhelming, when your mind keeps spinning with all the things that aren't right. I want to talk to you about something that's helped me a lot, and that is just gratitude. Let me paint a picture you might recognize.

Lisa: 0:21

You're sitting in traffic. You're already late for work, as in many times before, coffee spilled on your shirt. Then your phone buzzes with another urgent message. Everything feels like it's going wrong, doesn't it? Trust me, I get it.

Lisa: 0:36

Our brains do this thing where they zoom right in on what's not working. It's actually that ancient survival mechanism, if you can believe it. When our ancestors needed to stay alert to danger, that negativity bias kept them alive. But now that negativity bias just keeps us stressed and missing out on the good stuff that's right in front of us. I've been deep in the research about this lately and it's pretty amazing. Our brains are like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones. Think about that for a second. How many times have you replayed that one criticism in your head, while barely noticing the three compliments that came before it? Here's what I'm excited to share with you today.

Lisa: 1:20

Researchers at the University of California found something incredible. People who practiced gratitude not just felt grateful but, as we'll talk about, practiced gratitude for three weeks that's all, just the three weeks reported feeling 25% more satisfied with their lives. 25% is actually a lot. Their anxiety levels dropped significantly and the benefits stuck around for months afterwards. The science behind this goes even deeper. When you practice gratitude, especially when you really visualize what you're grateful for, you're literally rewiring your brain. Dr Rick Hansen calls this taking in the good. It's like you're creating new pathways in your mind. Remember making paths through the fresh snow as a kid, or maybe, if you didn't live around snow, the mud or the dirt, seeing your footprints. It's kind of like that. The more you walk that path, the more established it becomes and the easier it is to walk. I know you might be thinking that's all great, but how do I actually do this when life feels so hard? I hear you.

Lisa: 2:28

Let me share some steps that have worked for me. First, pick your moment. Think about your daily routine. Maybe it's those quiet moments with your first cup of coffee before the rest of the house wakes up. Or maybe it's during your evening shower, when you finally have just one moment to yourself. Choose a consistent time that's already part of your day. That's going to help you hook this gratitude practice into a habit that you already have and make it more likely that you'll continue. One of my friends told me recently she chose her morning shower time as her gratitude time and she was really surprised. She said, instead of running through my to-do list, which I thought was the most helpful thing to do during that time, now I take those few minutes just to appreciate the water, the quiet, the fresh start, and it's changed my whole morning.

Lisa: 3:21

The second step and this is really important, the second step, and this is really important just pick one thing, that's all. Don't try to list everything you're thankful for. Just one thing from your day or from your life. Let me give you some examples, because I think this makes it real. Maybe it's something as simple as your reliable car. I know that sounds so basic, but think about it. That car represents freedom, independence, the ability to go where you need to go. If you don't have a car, I would think about public transportation also giving you the freedom to go where you need to. Or maybe don't laugh, it's your coffee maker. Seriously, that little machine helps you start every day, or at least it helps me. Or maybe it's someone in your life your partner, your child, the co-worker who always saves you a spot in meetings, your neighbor who brings in trash bins without being asked, the friend who texts you funny memes because they know you're having a rough week.

Lisa: 4:22

And then the third step is where the magic really happens. Once you've picked your one thing, say it out loud or write it down. "I'm thankful for X because of Y. Here's what I mean. "I'm thankful for my morning run because it gives me time to think clearly and feel strong. Or I'm thankful for my sister because she always tells me the truth, even when it's hard to hear. Or even I'm thankful for this cup of tea because it reminds me to slow down and breathe. And then this is really important. Take a few slow breaths and let yourself feel it. I'll walk you through it. Say you're grateful for your home. Close your eyes with me for a moment. "I'm thankful for this home because it shelters the people I love. Then breathe in slowly.

Lisa: 5:11

This is where you want to dive in the details. As you breathe in and out, remember what we talked about earlier with those neural pathways. Every sensory detail you notice, every emotion you let yourself feel is strengthening those positive connections in your brain. Notice the familiar sounds or think of them. Maybe that creaky floorboard you keep meaning to fix the comfortable weight of your blanket. The way sunlight falls across your kitchen table in the morning. Feel the sense of safety, of belonging. Maybe recall a specific moment, the laughter from your last family dinner. The smell of coffee on sunday morning, the way light changes as the day progresses. Each detail you notice, each memory you relive is like walking that path in the snow we talked about earlier, making it deeper, more permanent and easier to find next time.

Lisa: 6:08

What's really beautiful about this practice is it spreads. If you have kids in your life, they'll pick up on it. They notice when you notice the good stuff. At dinner the other night my friend's little one suddenly announced that she was grateful for the way clouds made pictures in the sky. Just like that. Kids are natural gratitude practicers. We just have to give them permission. The more you do this, the easier it gets. Each time you practice, you're making that positive path a little clearer, a little more natural to follow. Remember that the negative path is going to be easier. We're going to fall into it very easily and think of the bad things. We need to make the neural pathways for the positive. Even on the hard days especially on the hard days there's usually something small worth noticing that we can practice gratitude for. So here's what I'm suggesting just for this week Pick one moment in your day your morning coffee, your commute, your workout time, your bedtime routine, whatever works for you.

Lisa: 7:14

Try these three steps. I think you'll be surprised by what you start to notice. You don't have to pretend everything's perfect. That's not what this is. It's just widening your lens a bit, making room for the good alongside whatever challenges you're facing. Before I let you go, there's one more thing I want to share with you. Studies have shown that people who regularly practice gratitude don't just feel better mentally, they actually sleep better, have stronger relationships and show improved physical health. It's like this simple practice just ripples out into everything. If you found something helpful here today, share it with someone in your life and don't forget to subscribe so we can keep exploring these kind of ideas together until next time. This is Calm and Clarity in Midlife, Dr. Lisa, reminding you that gratitude isn't just an attitude, it's a practice that gets stronger every time you choose it, and you can start right now.