EP 67: Things people are weirdly competitive about

This week the PickMaster General tested the panel's competitive instincts by setting an unusual challenge. Competition is a part of everyday life whether that be for selection to a sports team, interviewing for a new job or simply getting tickets to a popular gig. However, people also get weirdly competitive over a wide range of 'irrelevant' or 'unimportant' things. PMG tasked the panel to select their top three examples of weird competitiveness that they have witnessed, or are guilty of undertaking, in their lives.

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Transcript

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Three men with three decades of separation debate three tough choices every week. This is the Pick Three Show. Welcome to another episode of the Pick Three Show, where every week our panel of experts takes on the challenge handed down from the enigmatic Pickmaster General. None of us know the identity of PMG, but he or she sets us some pretty tricky subjects to contemplate. With three decades of separation between the panel, the PMG can be pretty much assured of a wide and varied debate. Some dissent and frequently derision surrounding the panelists' choices. Today's topic is to identify our top three choices of things that people are weirdly competitive about. And I already know that I want to deliver the best choices and put my colleagues in the shade. To set the mood for today's challenge, I have hiked to the top of Sleeved Donard above Newcastle in County Dyne, and I'm awaiting the arrival of my podcast colleagues. Interestingly, I can already see Gareth's head coming over the ridgeline as his skippy step is unmistakable, and I suspect I will hear Andy's complaints shortly as he wheezes his way to the summit. Fortunately we can record in the little boffy up here, which will cut out the wind noise. We all set out at six AM this morning, but I have now been at the summit alone for the last fifteen minutes, so I suppose I am already today's winner. But anyway, here are the guys hoving into view. Come on over into the boffy and we can get out of this wind. You boys look a bit windswept and interesting. How did you find the climb? Easy. Easy. Would you put your microphone up to where actually without that piece of cake? Oh my word. I know. See, I actually thought, see that noise that was going on in the background? I thought, either the way people are weirdly competitive about. I thought he's doing this but sound. Either way, he's really competitive with how things sound. Oh, look at the look at look what I produced. It's perfect sound, perfect editing. Here's another podcast which has a bit rump roopy sound. What's interesting is we came into the buffy here and Andy sat down, put on his headphones backwards and his microphone at the back. I think he's a little shell-shocked at the amount of physical effort it took to get to the top of Sleeve Donard here. We did what was the one we did last year or a couple of years ago with Chris and JK. Oh, Duane. I was good. Yeah. Easy. Yeah. Piece of cake. Which one was it? Duane. Where is it? D-O-A-N. Where is it? You go to the Otcar Park and then go between the mountains, uh Loch Shana and Muk, go between those two, then down and then up Duane. It's overlooking the Silent Valley. Lovely. Yeah. So it's one of the little ones. It's not that high. So you're looking at Binion, which is the second biggest, and obviously the Sleeve Donard, which we've climbed today, is the biggest. To be honest, when we got to the car park this morning and we all put our rucksacks on, I was worried that Andy was carrying too much in his rucksack. He's a hungry boy. I'm telling you. I thought seven packets of monster much. Oh seven different flavors as well. Oh, I appreciate I appreciate there were seven different flavors. The varieties he did have to stop for a little in the trees on the way up. You know, but anyway, we are here to talk about things that people are weirdly competitive about. And that's a slightly unusual topic because it's not things we compete at, it's things that people are weirdly competitive about. And so even looking at some of the stuff that's come in from the listeners, it's quite clear that there's a whole range of things that we all take more seriously than we maybe should, or compete against people when there's no actual competition to be had. And people don't know that they're being competed against. No, I think that's now we could go back to the old classic that it is for a lot of people that is the keeping up with the Joneses. And the Joneses don't even realise people are trying to keep up. Yeah. And I'd like to apologise to all the Joneses out there. It's a phrase. We're not picking on you individually. But anyway, what do you think? I think this was one that especially from our listeners, there's a lot of varied things. Oh, there is. It seems a great lot of people as well. It does. And there's some our listeners came back. One in particular, I think, oh, that's a good one. Actually, I wish I had had it that mind, but stuck to them with guns. Mine are very relevant to where the conversations I've had probably last few months and stuff. One of mine in particular has started to great me a bit. But there's a specific group of people, if they hear, could turn against me quite quickly. But I'll be using it. Wouldn't it take a lot for you and me to turn against Andy? Is that the school? Potentially. It could be a choice there. But it's uh nobody's good. I think we love a good rant about stuff, but some of the stuff I'm putting down in mine are things that are illogical at times. Some are like a little bit more logical, but there's things that great me a bit. Yeah. Okay. You you take us away today because I suspect you are weirdly competitive on a whole range of things. So my first one is cues and lines. Nothing awakens primal instincts like someone accidentally edging ahead in a queue. People who are normally calm before courtroom lawyers instantly, excuse me, I believe I was before you, and they lose it. I, you know, I would have said, you know, things like the airport boarding, people are up there trying to get in the front of the queue to get on first. And the truth is, it makes no difference. Your seat has actually been allocated to you, but you have to be first on there and get up. And to a certain degree, that has changed a little bit because people are now taking the hand luggage space over your seat, etc. And they're doing it, and there's nothing that irks you more whenever someone takes your space above your your plane. But if the law of the queue broke down, I think we'd be in anarchy. And we do like order and furnace. If you've ever been skiing in France, they have no idea how to queue. They'll climb over your skis to get to the front of a queue. And if you're in the United States of America and you're in the queue, they've got a boy organizing it. And he'd go in, he'll be going calling people forward to make sure he fills up the chairlift. So there'll be a queue. They have the queue set up for groups of four, groups of two, singles. So he would maybe have four seats to fill. So he would go, right, I've got a two, two ones, on you go, up you go, a four, on you go. And he would funnel people in, and it was very organized. France is carnage. Oh and the law of the queue does not seem to apply. But it's very important. Yeah, I think it is. Two places that I I've seen cues descend in anarchy, Liverpool. Getting on public transport in Liverpool. There seems an unwritten rule that Qs aren't even adhered to. You can be waiting for a bus or anything, suddenly it's whoever arrives just walk straight on. And the tube in London. The tube is that sort of weird thing where sometimes you don't know where the doors will stop. So people just push through everyone and all. Horrible. But I think, yeah, you're right. There is people who take great pleasure, even though they know that they're gonna get on. Yeah. Oh god, a couple minutes faster. Exactly. I think airports are places of stress for a lot of people, and the rules go out the window. For a you know, it's I will be on that plane. Yeah, you know, so it's a it's a good, it's a solid choice. Can't argue with it. Okay. Good. Number three for me, board games. Now, board games, there is a level, people listen to this go, no no, board games are competitive, but there is a level of board games where you play you, and we all know the people, and some of you guys might be the people, or some of our listeners go, That's me. You start to play something like Monopoly, and someone gets carried away, which usually within a family setting descends into chaos. Yeah, because you can't have just one person get carried away, other people try to get to that level as well, and the people below go, look at this dead looks too. I know I I've lost interest in this now, but you continue playing because of how competitive people are. Monopoly's the one that's prunged to mind, but it's it's the prime one. I do remember, I think you mentioned on a previous podcast, Martin, was it your game of risk that you never lost a game in Monopoly? My sons will argue that point that they felt by ganging up on me they were about to win when they were sent to bed. But when I was writing board games, I was thinking there's definitely something Martin said about board games before. I think Monopoly is the worst, like you know, I I I have been in one of those games where it has, and I maybe was against the girls. No, it was just a it was a family thing at Christmas, and nah, I did lose it. Yeah, I know we've done a board games episode before, but whenever I look at board games, and a friend of mine for listening to the show, Patty, often tells stories in Sweden where they'll go to board game nights, and he says, Every single person is ultra competitive to the point where he said it's a cultural thing, they don't want to lose on anything they do. But this is he also said that they they don't do small talk. So you go around their house for a cup of coffee and they'll look at you and they go, Will we play a game then? And you know, because they just don't do an awful lot of just general chatting. You would like that stuff, you would fit in quite well, Martin. I like I am a competitive person. I can see you monopoly, you do have the tactic and all that. Yeah. I like I like I'm competitive. You're winning a competition today. What's that? Wearing the shortest shorts possible for a man in of his of your age. But I've got the legs to get into it. They they are quite quite honestly, they are a magnificent pair of sparrows. I thought you would be a fan of shorts, Martin. Well, if you'll notice, I'm No, he's now out in this house now, it's naked Tuesdays. As you know today, because we're hiking, we're hiking in the mountains, you have to be prepared for all weather conditions. So if you notice I'm wearing shants, which are shants are trousers, pants, that you can zip off the legs at some point and turn them into shorts. You are showing your age, no shants. Shots. Martin, you're number three. By the way, if I ever get a purse shant, will you shoot? Oh well, yeah. Oh well. Could you ask me that question, please? Because I wouldn't even have to wait. I think in a previous episode I was described as a serial killer, so maybe there's a possibility that it's to do with people who wear indecently short shorts. Whenever this uh Picmaster General suggested this, I kept thinking, I am actually looking forward to hearing Martin's things. Uh that's that's up next. Well, it's weird competitiveness, and I think unfortunately, Gareth has already started with the airports, but I think airports in general lead to more weird competitiveness than anything else. I was listening to another podcast one day, the chipping forecast, which is a very good podcast with Andrew Cutter, and he ended up in a race against some bloke trying to get out of the airport. You just want to get to the far end of the corridor, down the walkway, all the rest of it, towing just your your baggage. And he said, halfway along, halfway along, they both acknowledged they were in the race without actually acknowledging they were in the race. Or do you use the travelator? And he said the boy went under the travelator and was walking firmly, and he said, I bypassed the travel leader and I was practically running to get ahead. And I thought I've done that. Yeah. And you know, people do that. So again, airports bring this out in us. Now, the point you made, which was airplane boarding. Yeah. And I think the point isn't just airplane boarding, because you're absolutely right, seats are pre-allocated, most airlines, so you know where you're going to sit. But the one thing that will send me off is the people. If I'm booked to get on and I get on, it's not if somebody else is in the same row or adjacent and they put their bag in the overhead. It's the person who's in row 27 who sticks his bag above row three on the way in because it's empty. Yeah. And he works his way down to the back of the plane. And I'm going, the staff, the air stewards, air hostesses, whatever way you want to call them, they never seem to pick up on those people. But it's not even that. It's the row urine 27 and the row 23, does it? Yeah. I hate that. Yeah, yeah. You know, it's it's close enough to think. It's close enough. And then whenever the you're disembarking, that person comes back to get theirs. Yeah. And it's usually the same person who tries to put in an awkward place. Can I go can I go back? And suddenly they're going back, delaying absolutely everything. I know it I'm not a fan of that, but people are weirdly competitive, and that's why, in the even with the pre-allocated seats, while you get people in a queue busting keen to get onto the flight, it's not about their seat, it's about putting the luggage in. You're right. And my one of my pet peeves of all time, you turn up meeting the requirements of the airline you're going on for cabin baggage, and you look in the queue, and there's obviously two dozen people who are carrying twice as much stuff as you, and you're going, There's no category that you're allowed to do that. And they just walk it on and somehow wedge two bags in when they don't get away with it nowadays, they've got really clamped down. It's a real new fee earner for I hope so. But I hope so because that I think engenders, and so that's the where I think the weird element of competitiveness comes. What what is about getting your storage space on the plane, not getting to your seat. One of my favourite ones is I would travel to Manchester quite a bit. Manchester, when you disembark a plane, you get onto a bus, and there's a lot of people who obviously don't know this, so they go, I'm getting off, and they come straight out. Yeah, they have to wait for the bus to fill it. And then you're first in the bus, which means you're in the middle of somewhere and everybody crowds in around you, and suddenly you're at your kind of last. And you can tell a mile off who the people are. It's great. No, good choice. Yeah, good. Yeah, well, I think it's it's not an unobvious choice because I think when we get to listener feedback, it appears again. Oh, right. Yes, it definitely does. And the number two. Well, since you were starting today, yeah, you know. Make sure it's me number two. Do you know we've been money? I know you're tired after climbing up here, those wee legs. True. Yeah. Keeping up with the Joneses. Oh, here we go again. The poor old Joneses. Yeah, I have Joneses. Why? You know, why I just don't understand it. Probably the single most cause of debt in the UK whenever I was working, people just got into a serious amount of debt trying to keep up with the Joneses. Whatever they had, they will go to any lengths to get what their neighbours have. Should it be or preferably one better? Ah, one better. Cars, yeah, holidays, brands. Oh, you know, like all the different brands that people were, etc. And I just and they're not getting any enjoyment out of it. The enjoyment is such a spike and back down again that I just can't understand that. I was out with a client one day and we were meeting with another agent looking at a piece of property, and as we were walking back, my client noticed an Aston Martin DB9 in the car park, and he stopped to have a look at it and he says, Oh, that is a beautiful colour. And the guy we were with said, Well, actually, that's my car. And uh I looked at him and I said, Do you know what? Those are absolutely gorgeous cars. If I was ever going to come away from driving a Volvo, the DB9, you know, you'd have to give it some thought. And he said, Martin, there is absolutely nothing wrong with a Volvo. My wife drives the one one up from yours. Oh and to this day, I chuckle at that because he'd assessed my Volvo, but his wife was driving a better Volvo than me, and then he drove the DB9. And my client, we were driving away afterwards, and we were crying with laughter at going, he does not realise exactly what he said or how that was perceived. He sounded like it was a compliment in his head. In his head, he's going, No, no, you're doing quite well. You're doing quite well to have a car. It's bizarre, it really is bizarre. Whatever that other person has, they must have better. It's just uh I don't know. I've I explained to someone recently that someone they had mentioned had bought one of the new Porsche electric vehicles, and I knew this person was a company director. Yeah, this guy was saying, I'd love one of those. I was looking at myself, I'd have to make a time payment of like 40 grand at doing this. And I was like, Do you know it's a company car he's got through? He's probably paying six, seven hundred quid a month. Yeah, is it? And literally it shifted in his brain the fact that this person was looking to buy something that was completely out of his legal. But it's when explained to him about something else, he went, and this was a guy who's employed in a company. But I just thought it's amazing how that was in someone's mind to tell me how much of his time was he dedicated to thinking about some someone else's driving. But this is a constant problem, it's been happening for years now, and we talked about this in a previous podcast where we said the thing that triggered all of this is leasing. Yeah, because when you had to buy your cars, then people had to buy what they could afford. Once they started leasing, they started driving vehicles, they can't afford they can't afford to own them, so they'll re-lease them and pay out more money in a way over a three-year period than they would have done instead of buying it, or more importantly, buy something that's about uh six months or a year old. Well, it's not it's not just cars, it's holidays, numbers of holidays, what they're wearing, what brand they're wearing, in terms of numbers of holidays, by the way, you are the Joneses. We are all trying to keep up with you. I'll touch on the holiday ones. I am actually amazed the amount of people I speak to these days, and especially family holidays with kids. It's like looking to Spain this summer to get family holiday with kids, seven, eight grand. Yeah, and then I'm adding another kid on for us three. You're looking at ten grand, yeah. And I'm speaking to friends of mine and people who I know, and they're like, Oh, yeah, went an Easter, we're going to Halloween, we're going the summer. I'm sitting there going, I have 30 grand of holidays. I know you're not making 30 grand disposable outside this. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, I agree, but and there's people who will do it all the time. Yeah, they're getting serious. I can't work it out. And I I frequently have this conversation with my wife where we we say we're going to do this, and she's well, I heard that such and such did this. And I went, I don't know how they afforded that. Yeah, I've looked at the cost of doing these things. You can't keep doing this, it's credit card. It seems to be, and that was my job. And again, and again, as you say, you you worked in an industry where you helped people find their way back out of debt. I mean, we know that back before the crash in uh 2000, like 2007, early 2008, people just thought it was just going to keep going in one direction. Oh no. And they were absolutely bored. I came across one of our guys who was recommending to other people, because he'd done it, an interest-only mortgage. Oh, yeah. You were never paying down any capital. Because house prices were accelerating at such a level, we will always we'll just pay it off at some point. And then the crash came, and suddenly they were sitting in a huge amount of negative equity. Oh, I'll always be a crash. I actually there'll always be a correction. Yeah, I cringe when you talk about property and stuff like that. Because I just think just because I sound like oh the fact that people like would actually think that that's a great investment is terrifying. Right. Number two, for me, similar to yours in a lot of ways, like keeping up with Jones's, but this one specifically is around gardens. So, as our listeners are probably listening, listen to summer people out enjoying themselves in the summer, relaxing barbecues and everything else. There is this weird competitiveness about gardens, and it's only from people. I recently was speaking to someone, I did the first cut of the year, did this, I did that, and I'm like, what? Literally zoned out so completely. You spend about eight hours in your garden this weekend for uh in a country which rains for ten months of the year, if not more. I just I completely lose interest of it. I know I would challenge like his garden's a wilderness. He hasn't been out there. Nicole, get him to go out and at least cut the grass. Harvey cuts our grass for us. Harvey is our gardener and he does all the trim. I thought you'd got a donkey or something called Harvey and it was just roaming around, just chomping on the grass. Harvey's great. Does the trees does everything else? It it's adequate. I'm sorry, hang on, adequate, yeah. I think adequate is all I need. You can't describe Harvey does everything else and then use the word adequate. Harvey, if he listens to this, is gonna be deeply insulting. He's out there putting the work in you won't put in. So he will say to me, Ah, what do you want done? I just cut the grass, mate. That's all. Oh, there's trees, but long do the trees if you need as well. It's like he does everything really well, and to the point where actually I don't really use. our garden. I like I would come in in the summer go actually yeah we should be out there more nah can't be bothered. So gardens for me is something weird as well. Yeah I wouldn't be a huge fan. I got into a long discussion with somebody else not that long ago about our koi carp pond and you know he was saying that they have some mature male fish and that they are almost two foot long and I'm going Jeepers those are good sized koy we only have half a dozen that are over three feet and you know this whole debate went on forever. Well can imagine yeah do you not tell Jeeves that he needs to up his game get some more Jeeves doesn't do outside work now he's uh he's a little older is all right so again it's either Seamus or Ewan will be out in the in the garden doing that sort of stuff I don't understand the competitive side are uh and funny people have said you know particularly lawns you know does find the llamas are killer on the lawns make a mess of them a friend of mine Trevor Edwards is a garden designer and Trevor would be in his late 70s uh he does a radio show with Carlin Stewart every week and he's he's an absolute character and I often would go around my mum and dad's and my mum would be like oh can you send Trevor a message and ask what's the best thing to do with that so I'll take a video of this saying Trev tell me what to do with that and he appears on camera holding the camera what do you need to do Andy tell your mother this you need to do this and prun this and all and it just that level of detail is incredible but not for me. Again I'm shocked that Andy's not a get out and do physical labour in his garden type of guy you know because anytime he comes around the factory here he's always very quick to point out what needs tidied up and all the rest that's right he's a good director of it aren't he of course I I I I think it's your your key skill I I think there's a lot to be said for that Martin so number two for me is gardens and grass could be included in that people do have a fascination about who c how many times to cut their grass all that stuff I was talking to a friend of mine who had been to see the masters okay at a point in time and the way he explained the story to me he said Martin I know a thing or two about growing grass I have an immaculate lawn and then I went to the masters and I realized I was a complete amateur because I went in and I said I put I leant over the ropes and I put my hand down and I just stroked the grass it was better than the carpets in our house. Wow it was just immaculate and he said all the time I've spent making our garden look good I just went I'm a complete amateur and I thought that was a lovely way of describing it. It that would be one of the key things of calling the masters that people often say it's just it's surreal how nice it is. Yeah I again it's it's a very special place which will probably never allow me in but anyway okay my number two and this has become I don't think it was from our generation or my generation certainly but it has definitely happened in the younger generations where once babies are born now there is a huge competitiveness as to their growth patterns their developmental milestones all of the things everything is done by a manual a book YouTube videos everything is about making your kids perfect yeah wise up your kids will never be perfect and they will all grow and develop at different stages they always did you know you go through school somebody was taller than somebody at prep school primary school whichever way you want to put it and some people some people suddenly had a growth spurt in secondary school or as we like to call it grammar school um but you know when you actually do all of that people will develop at different times in different phases you can't compare what your neighbors or your best friends kids are doing who happen to be a week older oh we were up and walking ahead they're not even walking yet they're only a week older than you come on yeah yeah I don't know what age you probably walked by the time you were what three I was very quick I was the oldest but you but you're right in that you know and look people do oh they're crying this or I I always said to everyone or someone once said to me they're hot babies are hard to kill so they are just keep doing it. Again we we may not uh debate that for very long but you know the thing is people say oh not sleeping and all that type of stuff just do what's normal what's made this worse is this world of social media oh absolutely oh she's took her first steps she's done this she's done this then everyone else watching shirt with everybody I I find it staggering and that's this is slightly a rant where people will put one of their kids' birthdays on social media our Josh is five today and you get tens of people hi Josh happy birthday and you're like you've never met this kid in your life I know and I'm not putting that down I'd actually like to compliment my own son and his wife who have not put one picture or one post on social media about their daughter our granddaughter and I think fair play don't do it you're not in a competition no raise your kids make them happy have give them fun make them have a fun childhood do not worry about the fact that they're not on the football team by the time they're six it's a great it's a it's a really good one and the example being in that industry like it's amazing we have the technology in the next three or four years where kids who maybe their parents put a photo of them on when they were one year old and tag their name on Facebook or or or Twitter or whatever it is by the time they turn 18 they will have a blueprint of their entire life which is on that platform they haven't actually said is okay. Yeah no and that's a staggering thing about the cybersecurity world so well I I'm gonna go bring that on a little further uh that's my number one and I've put children so I guess and I think you're gonna go this direction yeah yeah mine mine's slightly more specific but yeah this is the most unbelievable one I do know that children are a reflection of their parents and I am extremely proud of my children but the number of people but the number of people I'm just pointing that out yeah no but the number of people that boast about their children and half it is not the truth right is so high I'm not sure why they do it. If you are talking saying someone oh my children's doing that there they always come back with a retort as if their kids are doing better or doing something extra special out there and I'm going what is that about see that competitive thing going on like there's you've taken it from baby stage I'm actually taking it right up until adult stage you know where oh my kids have done that or what they do that oh they're doing that. It's good let them do they'll find their you know what I absolutely love at the moment when I speak to people and I say oh how's your son or daughter doing like oh I've decided not to do university they wanted to go in the industry and work. I go brilliant like I love that as a as a thing that 20 years ago they would have oh didn't do university degree or something like the the the real reason I come back and I say to I've said to my girls I want to go to university to have a fabulous day not academia yeah but I'm there you're there to party yeah and I really enjoy it. Sorry that's your advice to your children that's I did and it was best absolutely amazing. Yeah had to rattle it out maybe come around this time of the year I had to put it then you got a grant well you got your degree off the internet so you don't know what you're talking about. I don't have a degree you know that but I've paid for six but I've only got I don't have any personally but your point of the comparison with kids I see it in a different way with younger kids but I guess see as the older the kids go it's it's terrible and parents that you sort of would bump into socially the odd time what are the girls doing and they make it up yeah they look I know they're gone that is not true. One of my favourites was when I was told one day that uh such and such was in the running to be head girl at her school yeah and a couple of weeks later I ran into them and said how did it go? Yeah oh it was fixed I was going it was a competition you were she was in the running and then she wasn't selected obviously oh yeah because it was a fix. And I'm going sorry can you not just say yeah we were very proud she was in the running for it but they gave it to somebody else see that vagueness of in the running or I think they will do or I don't know it's a life I don't mean and that's again that's a boasting element comes back or I think they did that or you know I ended up in an argument in Marks and Spencer's food hall one day with another surveyor who had asked me about my son who was playing rugby at the time and Mark had uh was on Ulster under nineteens or Ulster under twenties at the time and was playing at a reasonable level but he'd already had a number of injuries on the way through who knows what was going to happen. And this guy said oh he said you know both my boys are so good at rugby. Now one was medallion level and one wasn't even medallion level at that point. So that's 15 at the older level and maybe 13 for the other one. And he said you know they're so good in their year group you know I'm pretty sure they'll both play for the British Lions. Martin happened so you took the words out of my mouth and I went to be honest there's a long way to go I've been through the process here you know that my son has been through the School's Cup winning team Ulster training all the rest of it it is really hard and the injury fallout rate I said what happens if either of them get injured he says oh no they're they're both they're both faster and better than other people they'll that'll not happen. I don't think either of them played rugby once they left school that alone but he was so convinced I ended up pretty much saying but you're making a statement that is absolutely non-justifiable but there's no reasoning with those people no but there wasn't there's no reasoning absolutely I just go I listen to it whenever people say it and I go yeah it's a lot of internally I just go yeah it's a judge of character very quickly it is a judge you can see they're trying to live vicariously three kids three kids yeah I felt that particular argument and I was going I came home and I was really quite annoyed about it simply on the grounds that I went all you were doing is putting completely unrealistic expectations. Now one of the kids I know did get injured and I know that was why he ended up stopping playing because it was an injury that just wouldn't heal up properly all the rest of it and you're going anybody that makes it to the very end there's a huge element of luck yeah that gets you there. You have to have the talent and a very low percent we yeah it's a minuscule percentage we on a similar but related topic I would be big NFL fans and the NFL draft was a recently a few months ago and one of the guys who's a Heisman Trophy finalist who's a quarterback which was the best college players didn't get drafted at all. Didn't get drafted over hundreds of people got drafted because one is attitude he was already talking about how he was going to be a superstar and all so all the teams looked at him and went we're not touching him and there's other reasons as well but I look at that that we someone mentioned me a client of mine whose cables in college in America said we you think it's bad in Northern Ireland multiply it by a hundred in that ecosystem within the US. Well as you know I do a certain amount of work in the US college system especially for ice hockey and the ice hockey players tend not to get ahead of themselves but the football players and the basketball players absolutely yeah and that's where name image likeness is causing a real problem in university funding now where players want to pay and that won't show loyalty even to colleges a free ride scholarship is no longer enough but again a lot of that is parents pushing you know this is you can see them on the sidelines once they get they start to play competitive sport at school you know shouting and fighting and getting on and that's the parents my number one links lovely into this we're at the age now with Lily who's doing her CAG uh exam in November October November next year it is this world of tutoring oh so and this is and this is new to me because Lily's our eldest so the conversation with her class and her class mums and dads who are all really nice people oh yeah we've got our son and the tutor we've got there's a waiting list for three months and then and suddenly you're like okay right so then there's an assumption Nicole goes oh we'll have to get Lily a tutor here. Totally and like Lily's very good very switched on they've done the practice paper she's doing really well so we've went we've got her a tutor she goes to the tutor and she comes back I said what do you learn she goes didn't really learn anything I didn't learn in school but there's a stigma around the parents and I've probably you guys could probably speak about this in a lot more detail this is just the tip of the iceberg I'm sure when you get into academia tutoring seems to be have you guys got not got a tutor yet oh it's a shame and all there's a wait list around here is the argument I heard one time which is I I get it that your son's getting good grades but what if he doesn't get good grades in the actual exam and you haven't bothered to get him a tutor and I'm going well I'm hoping the school which he goes to has a which is a good reputation for prepping them for this. Yes. And I make no bones about it. Both my boys ended up for a short period of time with a tutor just ahead of what was affectionately referred to as the 11 plus but was still the transfer test or whatever it is. Because you felt that if you didn't do that extra bit you were leaving them short by comparison to the competition. Yeah and so therefore it has become an industry it's almost essential that you do it because otherwise if anything goes wrong somebody will point at you go well it's your own fault. You didn't get them a tutor yeah and I think my eldest didn't have a tutor and the two younger ones did have and the eldest got the higher score. Yeah and what's more the other two are now I don't want you to judge but which one's your favourite because I think that's unfair. No but again it was just it was just that competitive didn't need it didn't need it never needed tutors in throughout their academic careers and they've done well and stuff and all that they find their own levels but do you just you know the other thing which is which is important as well tutors I believe are laziness from some parents as well I know my dad even whenever I was doing 11 plus my dad beat at the end of me absolutely every Thursday night was 11 plus I can still feel the tremor of it now. So example of that so the tutor we went to for a few weeks Lily was very much like I I just don't she's not explaining stuff well school explain it better so Nicole said look let's go Starbucks we'll sit with a paper and work through it that way did that two weeks ago last two weeks on a Thursday night five to half six she does it yeah absolutely thriving in that environment and I think you're right Nolan did it really good when the girls mum was put the work in with and no doubt I was working so therefore put the work in and it all it needs is the work in with their parents and they will do it. So I think that my side on that is I like the fact that good tutoring is useful but used as a a thing in conversation to almost make other parents feel bad or not even go I'm not prepared here. Everyone's got their own journey certain kids don't want to go to grammar schools they'll do whatever they want it's not a good or bad thing if you have a tutor. No I think it is it's personal choice it comes down to but people you're right get weirdly competitive about the whole thing and that their tutor's better or their kids are getting more hours of tutoring or such and such and such and such and I'm going it's actually an indictment on the wider school system that people feel like this I mean there were no tutors when I was doing the 11 plus in fact no me too we actually also had to sit the instant entrance exam even if you were getting your qualifying as it was called the old one out of banana orange shoe it's always banana I've said that before I still remember I still remember because you can get an orange shoe and you can get is it's kids intelligence mainly because of parental input I think guidance. You're in nurture versus nature right now. Again a lot depends on how much time and how much engagement you have and some kids are luckier than others that their parents invest the time in them and actually view them as their responsibility and some people view the kids as send them to school. It's the school's responsibility how I love it with our kids like I say to the kids we're going to W5 and they go great and they love that experience of coming somewhere to learn they come back and they go that's fantastic and then I'll challenge you go do you want to go to cinema instead and like I'm sitting there go I can sit in a seat for three hours here they go no no let's go W5 and but it's that culture they love that learning one of the biggest gifts you give to kids is to get them curious and make them interested in learning stuff and I I think it's a lifelong skill that if you remain curious you you do better in life because you're always questioning stuff. That's why I ask you questions, Andy, because I can't get a handle on who you or what you are that's it still a man a man of mystery enigma to me. Well mine actually is going to again cross over with one of the other ones which is competitiveness in families which is frequently borne out at Christmas or in board games or anything else. But one of my favourite expressions I I have uh a sister and then I have another sibling and the other sibling is uh the one that is weirdly competitive with everybody and dissatisfied with how the world works and all the rest of it and a great description I heard after a school reunion was one of the people was heard to say she's so weirdly competitive if you said you'd been to ten or your holidays she would say she'd been to eleven a reef that's very good and I thought that was a great description of that weird competitiveness. Yeah and still yeah but all of these things where you're actually whether it's playing Monopoly which by the way I normally win um or you know Pictionary which I'm rubbish at because I can't draw to save my life or charades or any of these sort of games that people play especially around Christmas the competitiveness is wild. Now you mentioned in a previous podcast that you'd been told off by your uh your wife or your brother in law because it was your niece you were giving a really hard no no no I my brother's wife told off my brother because he was given his own daughter right so all of these things we've all got those experiences and I've previously talked about when I was beating my kids at table tennis the eyes been the pause that would be a great clip just to cut out and there was a pause island at table tennis one of one of the things I used to try and do is beat them 21 nil and once I'd beaten them 21 nil I would try and beat them 21 nil with my left hand and that that was the challenge but there's a level of competitiveness that is healthy yeah and then there's this weird competitiveness that uh comes into play and it was once explained to me was uh we were taking our boys uh I had a boat to the point in time and we used to take them water skating and the rich and the other half of them one of the family said uh you went water skating at the weekend and I went yep well that's not really fair uh on your nephews who didn't get the chance to go I'm going sorry I I I we we were going with our family you know it's oh but they want to be as good at water skating as your boys and they've now missed a session I'm going what an earth and I'm going would you ever Martin you say family immediate family or wider family or everything in that oh you see now we're about to get into uh psychoanalysis here uh unfortunately it's immediate family and uh it it's not it was it hasn't been easy so anyway okay I think family the board game was always is like the one that amused me because there is a level of family members who just don't care in my family and not just like mums and dads are like I'll just play it and my cousin Stephanie a couple of years ago that's poor parenting yeah they don't care you have to care cousin Stephanie a few years ago started a boxing day quiz and anything and it actually was fantastic a little bit of competition with a quiz like quizzes are different at board games because board games there's a level of luck which is on the card a quiz everyone gets competitive now one of the things I was going to say about being weirdly competitive was the honourable mention and that is for me it is podcast statistics because I have a very good mate who who runs the has run the largest Beatles podcast in the world uh the most successful Beatles podcast in the world and it's called nothing is real and when he talks to me he goes well how are your statistics going Martin and I'll give him a few numbers and he says yes yes we got the same sort of level of Downloads between 8 30 and 9 o'clock last Monday. And you're going, oh come on. Because they their numbers are stellar, but you get weirdly. So again, listeners, help us out here. Download the episodes, share them with friends. Help me, help me finally turn around to somebody who's given me grief for the last few years and give them numbers that make us look everybody's successful. Yeah, please, please. Anyway, what did the listeners say about weird competitiveness? Okay, let me go. I've got Rodney Maxwell, who is one number one, going off at traffic lights first. Oh, yeah, yeah. Two, quality of their lawn. Yep. Again, that we talked about that. Yeah. And three, size of the Christmas turkey. Oh, that's a good one. Yeah, that's a great one. You well hear people now say, oh, it's 18 pounds. Oh, yeah. You go, why? Like, I don't even know. I understand what it is. What do you what do you buy? I couldn't even tell you. No, I've never cooked it. Never bought a turkey in my life. Alright, so you go out for Christmas. Oh, yeah. No, no, I go to someone else's house. Same. I've never. Pete McQuellen sent in uh the condition of your lawn. Yeah. How fast you can move through an airport, particularly when there is a moving walkway involved. Can you beat those who are choosing to stand still? And number one, a mutual friend of the show, for the purpose of anonymity. Let's not name him. Ask me to mention driving distance and golf. Ron. He reckons it's all about the number on the scorecard, not how far you can hit a ball. Ron. Yeah, that's actually. Ron will say that uh he's not the biggest hitter, but hits the score on the goal card. Often Ben sent in social media likes and followers. Number two, how far they hit a golf ball, and number three, how good their job is. That is again, that's another one that happens all the time. I see it. And there's so many lies involved in the whole thing. And this is the thing, it's those little lies that annoy the life out of me. Um, Lewis sent in number three, how fast they can run around a park or city at great financial cost to themselves. Number two, pickleballers driving five hours to play three ten-minute matches is insane. He loves pickleball, by the way. It's that's something in your world you can see. Oh, I can see other people do it, but it's only what get a competitive game. Number one for him is consumerism. Buying stuff to impress people that think that you're a beep in your flash car or whatever duance it is. It doesn't surprise me. Ann McKissick from the States said, ooh, weirdly competitive. I'm drawing a bit of a blank. Makes me think of siblings and the weird ways we get competitive. I don't think I have anything that I'm weirdly competitive with now. All my competitiveness is normal. Oh, really? Tennis, winning an argument, etc. I'll be interested to hear this episode. So again, some people find it trickier than others. I had Johnny send in number one, having more famous people from your school. Oh I do see that sometimes. Oh, you went to we're gonna win that one so easily. Uh oh. Number two, having the first barbecue of the year. Well, I mean, you can have a barbecue at any time. You can go out and do it in the first of January, for goodness sake. Also, people get competitive about wearing shorts. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I've been oh and number three. Yeah, wearing shorts go. I've been wearing shorts all year. Yeah, and number number three, which might have to be edited out. Okay, that will get edited out. Yeah. You can rest assured. Thanks, Andy, for who was that by any case? I was Johnny. Johnny, thanks. Johnny, you know it's a family show. Anyway, uh Victoria Danun said people get competitive about how busy they are, they're busier than anyone else. I ban that word. Because actually, I uh the people said, Oh, I'm really busy. I said, So you're too busy to talk to me, or you're so busy. And how do you measure busyness? And it's not usually the people hear Jenny. Yes, exactly. No. Getting credit for discovering something before everyone else, like a new restaurant or a band just before they hit it big. You know, so people go, Oh yeah, no, I knew all about them. I was eating there for weeks. And uh her final one was and the correct way to do something, e.g., pack for a three-day holiday or how to load the dishwasher. I think there's I could be that about dishwasher. You're definitely about that about dishwasher. I'm not actually not about the dishwasher, no. Yeah, I'm like, there has to be a specific one. Why would I go downstairs and annoy Mabel in the kitchen? So does Debs pack the dishwasher? She oversees the stuff. No, I was gonna say, does Debs pack the dishwasher? No, we we both do. Either of us will pack it. And does she pack it properly? I've never complained. You've never had to change anything? No, I Nicole would put too much stuff in, and I take it's not washed. Wrong spot. Wrong spot. That's wrong. That's the one thing is I would run the dishwasher every day, and Debs would maybe try and run it every other day. Yeah. And I go, but then it's racked and packed. So that would be the only thing that we would uh debate at various times. And put it on a lot. I I could see you'd go for the two days. Stephen McMullen said uh grassroots sport concerning primary school age kids. That's a good one. That's a good one. Yeah, adult park run times, yeah, which people get very competitive about. I didn't must have an intrigue doing that. And then he goes, and when your gate is called for a flight on which you have predetermined seats and people rush to queue. Yeah, you know, which is and as we've explained, it's not their seats, yeah, it's the luggage space they want. Ashley Parks uh said, How many fillings you have or don't have? Oh, I've heard that. You know, the supermarket queue and uh Google Maps beating the time that it tells you it's going to take to get there. Very hard to do that. It is hard to do it, but you can do it maybe about about a minute. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yep. And his said, honourable mention to fantasy football. And since he's in a fantasy football league with me, I understand that. Uh Jack Solomon said uh people get competitive over paying the bill. And I'm going, not if you're out with Andy. Andy's never going to compete with you to pay the bill. But anyway, uh, who's the most tired? Now he comes from a medical background, and so they all are tired permanently. And anything with Garmin watch stats. Oh, I love a good Garmin stats. I know you two do boys. Sometimes my conversations with these two is just a stats fest. Sleep score wasn't great last night. 67, I think I was. That's because you were worried about turning up here on time, which you failed to do. I've just looked at my watch and I see it's at 11%, and I'm about to go and play pickleball for two hours. I'm at 12%. So that'll that'll that's a worry. That's on the edge. That's that will go. Oh, you're going to dip, you're going to need maybe some sugar on the way down there. No, no, no, no, no. The charge. So it could cut off in the middle of a pickleball game. No. I know. Now don't start as Apple Watch against Garmin watches. Oh, I know. You have to charge an Apple Watch every day. I know. My Garmin lasts 13 days. Yeah, mine's about a week. Mine's less than used to. Yeah, mine's lesser. Too much exercise, like. Battery degradation. Yeah. Potentially. Um you try saying that, Andy. Johnny Kerr said who is the most tired? Yeah. Who worked longer or later than everyone else? And who has the biggest hangover after a night out? That's a weirdly competitive highway. You know, I'd be you're interested that Johnny didn't have who's been on the most holidays. I true. That's one way of doing it. No, no, Johnny's hard to beat. Oh, impossible. Well, he he lives overseas part of the time and works from overseas. I don't think he's on holidays. And finally, uh Big Keith said uh fantasy football. Oh, yeah. It's only make-believe. He's in the fantasy football league with me, and he's yet to ever beat me. Not that I'm weirdly competitive about that, but anyway. Choosing the quickest moving passport control line at an airport. Yeah. And uh podcast hosts who are trying to be the funniest brackets, it's always you, Martin. Oh, that's a sad one. That bracket's not there. No, that's definitely not there. Can't see it. I know. Well, I I'm not surprised, you know, but anyway, we're all weirdly competitive about different things. I would have to say I am guilty of it. I'm pretty sure you are too, Gareth. And Andy probably just doesn't care enough. I'm surprised no one picked parking. Parking was one on the way up. I said parking's quite good. People complain I want to know how close they get parked eventually. Yeah, true. Well, yes, you you want to look, you start and you work out from the venue to to try and see you can be as close as you can. But uh yeah, no, there are plenty of issues we all have, and uh being weirdly competitive is definitely one of them. Thank you, listeners, for sending in your suggestions. Please keep doing it. We are, as you know, available through our social portals on X, Instagram, and Blue Sky. We also have our uh email address, which Gareth is pick3show at gmail.com. And he sifts through all the emails that come through, and then we uh see what uh is useful for the show. But uh we will be back with another interesting topic in the not too distant future. But until then, on behalf of the podcast, my name is Martin. My name is Gareth. And my name is Aldi. And we'll see you all again very soon.