Episode 3 - And So It Begins!

Day of Event: February 13, 2024

The day after I declared my desire for freedom and the interactions  with the future ex... he already had a lawyer and the deceit was already in full swing and I was just barely getting a taste of it, only just starting to see how the man I'd been with for two decades was turning on me in what would rapidly become full-on hatred.

Scarlett Davis

Facebook: Future Single Lady

email: FutureSingleLady@gmail.com

Transcript

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Has reality got you down? Would you rather check into somebody's reality and see if it's better or worse than yours and hopefully get an appropriate adjustment of attitude? Great. Here's the place to be. I'm Scarlett Davis and this is The Future Single Lady. This is documentation of me and my journey as I declare my insistence upon getting a divorce from my husband of almost 20 years while still wanting to maintain a family unit. Just not married to him and doing things nicely and peacefully. That was the goal. Takes two to tango though. Didn't happen that way. Now it's a year later, and I can share my chronicle with you. So I hope you'll enjoy it. You'll join me and enjoy the ride because it's ups downs. It's all around and Also, just a little bit of a disclaimer. I'm not a doctor. I'm not a counselor. Technically, I am a medically trained professional, but it's like the lowest bottom rung on the totem pole of medical professionals. I'm a therapist of massage, but I'm not a counselor. I'm not anything else. I'm not qualified other than having life experience to give any kind of advice, legal advice, medical advice, or anything else, but I can share my experience. And that's If it resonates with you, if you find it even remotely entertaining, if it helps you get through what you're getting through or over above around, whatever it is that you've gone through, that you're going through, that your friend is going through, who you care about. If it helps give you a glimmer of hope and understanding, and if you just find it comical or whatever kind of entertainment you're looking for. Then great. I love you. I'm glad you're here. Please enjoy. Okay, I said I'd do it. Um, it's late in the day on February the 13th, 2025, and I am at least for a while gonna try to keep this stuff day to day, um, so that it's a one year anniversary when the podcast launches from when the thing actually happened. So you can keep right up with me in basically real time as how I was experiencing it. And Since I didn't start recording vocals until, until six weeks in, now I'm having to catch up, and I'm going off of what my journal said, so. For February the 13th, 2024, I journaled twice that day. In the morning, it was two full pages, and in the evening, it was two and a half pages. Now, I will be pausing for commentary in here, and some of this I kind of briefly glossed over yesterday. But I figure it's easiest just to go ahead and read it and I apologize in advance because Sometimes I can't read my own writing. So whether it has to do with my visual uh, my my eyes my ability my visual acuity or my handwriting stuff happens sometimes and if anything is not clear for how i'm expressing it to you, then I do sincerely apologize for that for that, but I'm trying to be thorough without Just Whatever. Let's get started. So, February 13th, 2024. WHEW! I did it. I asked for what I wanted. A peaceful parting of ways, and it was all calm. My husband has promised quote, things will get ugly and I even marked that out because I reject that and Because you find what you're looking for, so I look for a peaceful, mutually beneficial parting of ways. He wants me out of the house by the end of March, and I told him that I reject that too. He doesn't think I have any claim to the house, let alone its current value. He's wrong. He's gone through and trashed our picture. How long did it take him to get it off the, oh, He trashed our picture, and then I don't know the next word, but how long did it take him to get it off the wall near the ceiling? He's cut up what I assume to be the food card and left it by the Keurig, where he used my precious Sumatra blend this morning. Ha ha ha ha ha. God bless him. Really, I didn't think he'd be this hurt, and he could only be this hurt if he actually cared. And he did say that there had been some small glimmer of hope and acted as if I had the power to reconcile, but I didn't see any possible way we could. I'm gonna put a pin in that. Um, it's quite likely that Um, he may have been more hurt and upset because it turns out that he's a narcissist. Also, he revealed at the end of this that he had been planning something, and he was deviously planning it a year and a half from, from that point. And, um, I think he was just mad that I beat him to the punch. And, um, When I tell you later on when we talk about actually how the conversation went down his glimmer of hope oh my gosh You're gonna laugh, you're gonna roll your eyes, you're gonna be disgusted. It's gonna be an extreme reaction. But, back to the journal. As expected, my daughter is more in line with my husband, and I pray beauty on my and her relationship. Heck, I pray beauty on all of our relationships. I'm so happy and calm, I pray that my son's celebrations are not impacted by this. The concert, the Navy stuff, graduation, all of it. I, I invoke Durga and Michael. Michael Archangel Michael for success and protection. My eyes are swollen, almost shut from crying, and sinuses still are swollen. I took Clear Quill to sleep for headache, sinus and watery, nose or eyes, and dreamed for the first time in a long time receiving downloads like crazy. There are definitely. Things were definitely busy behind the scenes. I saw an aurora. So much. So much stuff. Relaxing, healing, probably based on something my husband said. I had a dream about someone who is a leader for me and his kids. I had totally told him off for doing something inappropriate. And the inappropriate thing was based on something my husband had said. About my thong. 616 when I started, 838 when I got in my chair. 616 when I started the conversation telling that I wanted him, wanted a divorce, and 838 when things were done, and I was sitting back in my chair. Angel number meanings, I told you these yesterday, but I'm gonna go ahead the say them again. 616, it's time to bring balance into your life. This can mean working to create a safe and welcoming home space, re addressing your work life balance, and making time to nurture relationships. Consider personal development and practice gratitude and positivity. 838. Believe in yourself and work toward your goals. You're on the right path. If you think positively and treat others with kindness. Additionally, you are a reminder to use your material success as a means to give back and make a positive impact on the world. Thank you! I drew in a happy face because I draw stuff all the time. Thank you, I receive this! Underscored an exclamation a lot. God, please continue to go before me and clear the path. Archangel Michael, please protect me and my children from all harm and evil. Any malfeasance. Allow them to not be harmed. I do not, I do not ask that they be not affected by these actions because they may need to grow from it, but do most emphatically, I do most emphatically ask that they stay safe. Durga, I invoke you to help us overcome any malfeasance. I desire a mutually beneficial, peaceful parting of ways as we continue on as a family unit and have our individual multitudes of success. He's given me this room and insists on finding a new hairdresser, a new hairstylist. Fine, if that makes him feel better, then great. Drew in a happy face. I'm just happy that as he said, I'm just happy that I, as he said, finally grew a pair, lol. He gave me my Valentine's gift, too, and I truly hope that this is a symbol, is symbolic of how things will be for us. The Mandalorian baby Grogu with my voice from it whenever I got hit with a ricochet BB. We laughed because it starts with OW and ends with I'm out of here and as he said it was very appropriate. May we always be able to share and laugh, laugh it out. I'm Dondurga Ye Namaha. Peace, resilience, success. So mode it be. Oh, much ringing in the ears. Like, wow. Which ringing in the ears is, one interpretation is that that is, uh, receiving of downloads, which I will be honest, since I started this the last couple of days, the ringing in my ears has been absolutely incredible. Um, I thought it was really cool that we could laugh about the whole Valentine's thing and, you know, I started this process on. I did not, uh, on February the 12th last year because I didn't want to ruin Valentine's for anybody. Uh, which is funny because in all of the legal paperwork, the legal documentation, he has filed everywhere that this all started on Valentine's Day last year. Just yet another example of what a fucking liar he is. Anyway, continuing on. So this is in the evening on February the 13th. Oh. My husband came home while I was talking to lawyers offices and getting ready to file. Had to talk I had to talk with him in the room. Sorry, adjusting my glasses. I had to talk with him in the room, especially when he's emptying the dishwasher. Mind you, I was sitting at the fucking kitchen table. But what did he have to do? His normal thing, where he has to be all up in everybody else's business and being a nuisance and he loves making clanking of dishes. So kind of difficult to have a conversation with a lawyer when the person you're trying to divorce is in the room. Narcissistic much? Anyway, continuing on. Hard to talk with him in the room, especially when he's emptying the dishwasher. He definitely talked to a lawyer. There was a him and a she, though he won't say who. Say who? Because he was told not to? Seriously? Okay, fine. I'm getting, I'm guessing a certain person, but it doesn't matter. I offered him info on the bills, and he was tacky. I went to my room, and, oh, I'm sorry, I went outside to my truck to make calls with privacy. So, of course, he came out to go walking around the park, and he called our son out there with him. Thankfully, our son and I had talked whenever he came home, and he had said he wasn't moving anywhere until he ships out. I agreed, and my daughter shouldn't have to move schools either. Evidently, my son told my husband while they were walking that I had said that and whatever else, and it calmed my husband down. My husband says we both have to get appraisers, and that minus the amount owed, divided of course. for the house. I said, of course I said that's what it is. He's saying that he guesstimates I'll get 50 to 60, 000 and that he's not refinancing the house. So he's kind of trying to tell me that I'm just fucked and I'm getting nothing. And so, you know, trying to intimidate me. Um, I told him my response was, shouldn't be a problem with the commission checks you'll be getting soon. The first one was supposed to be over a hundred thousand dollars. And he said, that's all deferred. I, in, in, That was bullshit. He said that's all deferred. Not sure, not sure I believe him. He was relieved when he heard that I didn't plan to stay here after our daughter graduates. Why would I? I said, I only stayed here because of you. I never planned to stay. He wanted to know what I'll do after and I just said that we'll cross that bridge when we get there. Actually, whenever, um, he was, he was so relieved whenever I said I didn't plan on staying in the area. He was like, well, that's good because then I won't have to look at you. Asshole. Um, so even though I had already had a game plan of what I wanted to do with the next five to ten years of my life, it's not his, not his fucking business. And I wasn't about to divulge that. I'll be nice and friendly and everything, but he had already promised me that things were gonna get ugly. Why would I divulge all of my plans to him? I just told him we'll cross that bridge when we get there. I handle one step at a time. I looked up alimony in Texas and it's called spousal support and currently the lesser of 20 percent of gross income or 2, 500. At least, basically I calculated I should, should have gotten like at least 1440, something like that. I go on to list off the things that what I'm pushing for as far as assets. And one of the things is that he was notorious for emptying out IRAs. and 401ks. So money that we saved together, that we both budgeted for and did without, that we did that, he spent willy nilly however he wanted to because once he got access to it, he treated an IRA, multiple times, treated IRAs as if it were a personal savings account. But we also paid the taxes on it and we also paid the penalties on it. So over 30 percent of that money was just straight up gone. We did without, we sacrificed, we saved. It might've come out of his paycheck and had his name on it, but we did that. So I was wanting to leverage that into him, um, giving me money for tuition because I want to be back in Texas A& M University and College Station. I want to finish out my double degree. Um, Okay, so that was a list of those things. Um, he was pushing for me to, yeah, he was pushing for me to pay bills, and I said I'd pay hundreds of dollars less than the alimony I get. When I start getting that. In other words, you start paying me and then I'll start paying some bills. He asked, and of course he was smart off, smart ing off about that. He asked what I wanted to take as far as furniture and was surprised when I said I wanted very little. But I reminded him that I came into the marriage with a paid off truck, a whole house of furniture, including washer, dryer, microwave, and other appliances. I want the money to replace all of that. He thought, he thought I'd want both beds, which are both king size, one of them I came into the marriage with, the big refrigerator that my grandmother bought us, etc. I said, no, what am I gonna do with all that? I don't want that table, you know, blah blah blah, you know, it's like, I just, I don't want it. And, or, you know, he said that he didn't want it. And he complained about the table and said he'd never wanted it from the beginning. Um, well, you never had any problem using it. I said, okay, then put it out to the curb. I don't need anything that big. He made a comment about, about my daughter. I said i'd probably take There was some very specific furniture From ikea. I said i'd probably take the ikea stuff or get new if he wanted to keep it and So I'm wondering, is that why he wants to keep it in his room and use it? Um, Ned said, lol, doesn't matter. He told his best friend and he also told me to tell my family not to contact him. He's erased all of their information, uh, all of my, all of their, all of their, their numbers Facebook, etc. He basically spent his whole day trying to erase me from his life. Pictures on his phone, etc. Everything. I told him I was glad he couldn't erase our kids. He's ge Oh, and I even saw on his phone that he, in his phone, he changed my last name to my maiden name. Um, which is fine. I don't give a shit about that. But, you'll find out 11 months later if you keep listening, some stuff. Mm hmm. Oy! Things just keep getting better. He's giving me the Aerosmith tickets and only doing shine, shine down on our son's birthday if our son wants him there, etc. He's canceled the hotel on, for the concert and for our hotel in Abilene for my cousin's wedding. Understandable, um, so much for a family pic, too. Wasted a lot of time waiting on him. Basically, I had been wanting a family picture for over a year and a half and he wanted to lose weight first. And basically I will never have that family picture now. I even thought about going and having them having it with just me and the kids. But of course that would have been some kind of statement. I'll never have that now. Um, I can add more information to that right now, but I'm not going to. Will I get happy faces from my kids when we do it? Basically saying if the kids and I go or am I gonna get truly happy faces from them? Smiles that genuinely go all the way up to their eyes with joy and laughter. He offered me the tax refund last night and today he wants to separate He wants to file separately with him claiming a kid. I said, I get both. I don't trust him and he is either manipulating me or planning to set me up by going first, filing first, and claiming both kids. So I have to scramble to file first. Manipulated, but who cares? It helps, right? In the end, he offered to go through the camping stuff. I can't think of anything I would need or would want from there. So, uh, I offered to let him just video the stuff I have at the ranch and probably just toss it all because He's covering his butt same as with the family planner on the family planner I also would put my work schedule there on my clients so everybody could see if I was working or not and I think that this was smart of him. He deleted himself off of it so that he couldn't have access to it. So that if for some reason there was a scheduling issue with a client, he wouldn't receive the blame. And I thought that that was smart of him. Um, the kids seem distant, especially my daughter. So I'm feeling like an outsider. I knew it would happen. I do not enjoy it, but I do enjoy hearing them work together on chocolate dipped strawberries and key lime cheesecake. My daughter's shins hurt, but she doesn't want me to work on them. Even the outside cats seem a little iffy. Guess I'm projecting. Corona, who is the indoor cat, can you guess when we got him? Corona is closer than ever. Flip flop, seesaw, teeter totter. It was nice to watch a certain TV show with my husband, even though he skipped out in the end. It's possible. I know it is. I call it forth. I'm Dom Dergiyeh Namaha. I want all of us together enjoying Young Sheldon, a TV show that we watch. We all deserve to be happy, don't we? My son's MEPS, uh, MEPS thing, the big send off, graduation, family trip, huge commission. I may, may be missing out. On all of it, but I I couldn't wait a second longer. Basically. I'm acknowledging here that there are a lot of things that may be happening that I may miss out on not just family events, but financial benefits too, because there were some massive ones in the pipeline is that, um, I couldn't wait a second longer, please. God, I need an excellent lawyer who takes my case and does it for free. I was really concerned about money. Maximum amount on the house, A& M tuition paid, max spousal support, max furniture allotment, all expenses paid, moving, and I went on and on listing several of the things. Um, assets that had value, especially when it all added up. Uh, every expense one could possibly think of, please have him pay me now and make me happy. Uh, that statement was part of a Manifestation formula, and I was trying to use it. I was trying to use every tool I knew to help get through this. My stomach feels not well. God, I'm trusting you for all of it. Good news He didn't disconnect the satellite TV services. It was just really funny timing. So There was there was one time when this was over a decade earlier, and we were in a really bad situation with each other and we were We were arguing and basically my thing was to walk away. I don't want to, didn't want to stay there and fight and cry because I'm angry and frustrated, um, because I was taught. Not to cry. Suck it up. And, you know, fathers, grandfathers, they, people did shut that, you shut that shit up, or I'll give you something to cry for, you know, kind of thing. That's what I grew up with. So I grew up stuffing down my emotions, being taught that I didn't have a right to cry, that I did not have a right to feel or express my feelings. and if I'm not going to be able to do that, then, then I walked away. Um, and not from, not from my stepfather or anybody like that. But, in a personal situation, where I had the authority to walk away, then I did. Because, I was embarrassed for crying, for one. And, I was crying because I was frustrated. Because I was so angry, was typically my thing. I didn't cry just for the sake of crying. And, I don't do the crocodile tears. And, I have never liked crying because, My face, my sinuses get so swollen on the inside that I can't breathe. But my nose suddenly turns to water. So my nose is suddenly dripping and I don't ever, there's never a Kleenex handy. And. I can't breathe and I'm trying to like sniff up the the running watery nose and my nose becomes raw because I'm wiping out the wateriness of it and my face is So so I do I do not well, I don't know things seem to it's funny even Physiologically things are changing for me, but in the past I did not ever cry pretty I didn't even cry tears Tears would not actually come out of my eyes. The funny thing is now they do. Isn't that crazy? I am physically changing, and I don't mean like just losing weight or getting toned or anything, I am physically changing. So, forty, forty six, forty seven years of my body behaving in one way, and when I start speaking my truth and stepping out, stepping out in faith, making huge, massive, transformational changes like this, relying, really just relying on God. Yeah. And then these things start changing physiologically in my body. Isn't that interesting? Anyway, back to, to the point. So there was this one day that, so I, I just, I turned around, I walked off. I was pregnant with our son. I went to, to the bedroom and, uh, I closed the door. I think I might've locked it. I'm not sure. I was laying down, uh, crying myself to sleep. The, the, uh, The overhead light was on. I think I had been on the phone with, with my mom and that's a separate conversation right there. The TV was on because I think the TV was on whenever I walked into the room or something. So do you know what that asshole did? He went outside to where the cable came into the house and disconnected the fucking cable. Yeah. So that all that was on the TV was So you know what I did? I tuned it out. I wasn't gonna let him win. I wasn't gonna let him manipulate me and make me come out of that room and interact with him. I wasn't gonna be his puppet that reacted, that jumped up because he did something. Hell. Fucking. No. So fast forward to February 13th, 2024, and when there is a blip, There's something, something went out, something, I don't even remember, it was like a black screen or something on the TV. What did I think? Asshole strikes again. Because yet again, I'm in the master room by myself and then the TV goes out. Turns out it was just a strikingly odd coincidence. So I was giving him kudos for that, that he did not do that asshole ish thing. stay tuned for more. There's lots more, but I will try to keep it from being too incredibly dramatic. I thank you for being here, for joining me on the ride, and, well, I'm just praying blessings on everyone and everything. Whatever you're going through, whatever your situation is, I'm praying for you. I give thanks that you're here. I have a lot of prayers for myself and the things that I'm going through and that, uh, what I continue to go through. So, thanks for sharing and, if you're so inclined, I would love it if you would send prayers, not just to me, or for me or about me, but most especially for my children. And then, here's where it's going to get really crazy. I also ask you to pray for their father, and not just for their father. But for his live in girlfriend, too, because I want them to be happy. While my son is in the Navy, at least as far as I know, and he is still in Pensacola doing his training, my daughter is still at home, and she's living in this, this situation, and I want her to be in a happy home. So, even though she's not speaking to me. I want her to be happy. I need her to be in a stable environment. So if you're so inclined to send good thoughts and prayers, I would very much appreciate it for them, for all of them. I believe that we rise by lifting each other. I don't ever want to hold anybody down. My ego might want to hold somebody down and beat the crap out of them sometimes, but ultimately that's not who I am. I want everyone to do well and to succeed in the best possible things in the best possible ways. And as always, my prayer is always for the greatest good, all for the greatest good. So whatever you're inclined to put towards that, I have very sincerely, deeply appreciate it. I'm so glad that you have been here with me through all of this. You're absolutely magnificent. The story continues. There's much, much, much more tea to spill. I hope you enjoy it.