Episode 11 - Blindsided!!

Day of Events: February 21, 2024

What a lying deceitful asshole.  At least, that's my opinion of him.  Though I'm definitely not alone in that opinion, here's one of many reasons why I am justified in that opinion....

I accepted his offer to let me file, days later, he congratulated me on doing it, thanked me for being "on it" but he had already filed... what a liar.  what kind of small, manipulative person must you be to get joy out of something like that?  Pathetic, right?  So sad.

Underscores that I made the right choice.

His deceit blindsided me and rattled me a bit but you'll see that it takes more than that to keep me down- my creator and angels had plenty of messages for me letting me know that they had my back!!  When God is for me, who can be against me? No one- not one single person.

Scarlett Davis

Facebook: Future Single Lady

email: FutureSingleLady@gmail.com

Transcript

0:01

You want to go on a trip? You want to travel? Take a journey? Have an adventure? Well then come along with me because this is me. This is the chronicles of my journey. Emotional, mental, physical, financial, um, pretty much, and spiritual I guess, um, pretty much in just about every way that you can have a journey. This is me. on my journey as I journey from being in a relationship of about 20 years with two almost adult children into life as a single lady. It's crazy. It is often more times than I'd like to admit straight up absurd, but you're welcome. You're welcome to it. You're welcome to join me on this, on this journey. I hope you do, and I hope that you were entertained, because the purpose of this podcast, aside from just being a little bit of mental and emotional relief for me, one is I hope that I'm reaching at least one person out there who needs this as much as I do. That said, basically this podcast is for entertainment purposes only. I'm not a counselor. I'm not any kind of anything qualified to give advice, or whether it's medical, emotional, mental, nope. I don't have any of those pieces of paper that say I'm qualified to do any of those things. I am just a person. I am a person who happens to be a woman, who is a hairdresser, is a therapist of massage, And just a person who has lived life and has some sometimes unique perspectives on things. So entertainment purposes, no qualifications to give any kind of advice. I'm just a woman and a hairstylist, so that means that I talk a lot. So welcome to my podcast. This is Future Single Lady and that's me, Scarlett Davis. I love you and I'm glad you're here. Okay, it's about to get more dramatic. Starts off a little, uh, mundane. So, February 21st, 2024. I start off in the morning, and I had, and so here's my journal entries. I'm going to gloss over some of this because some of it just doesn't make any sense, and it doesn't, uh, it doesn't really matter. Basically, I say I had some dreams last night, at least one that I remember. Turns out that it was actually probably two dreams that I remembered, and I I make the note here that I think basically it was just amalgamations of what has been going on lately and um, so I and I kind of list those things that Had been going on and how I think that they actually fed into my dreams as far as just coming together in one crazy story the stuff that really matters is I got emails sent to my lawyer for temporary orders The desired end result the family budget emails there are 11 of these family budget emails and on it They span a couple of years We'll get back to that later around a year's worth of checking and savings account statements credit cards comes next and irs I need to send those to my husband also And the bill pay information the trade of the day is resilient as well as strong and successful Happy face. I am so happy double exclamation mark happy face. Ah Now things to now time to get ready for the dentist and I also Want to know why my alarms are shutting off after I alert dot dot dot sleep was nice But I wanted to be up and doing my thing Exclamation mark. Today is the walkout from school and since my son's MEPS was postponed he's here to do it. Prayers, heart, sunshine, emoji. Side note, there was an issue at the school and a lot of the students were very upset and they wanted to do a walkout. My husband and I have always supported our children and that if this is something that you feel like you need to do, not just in this topic but in other things, if there is something that you feel you need to do and you feel really strongly about it. We will support you, but you have to be prepared to face the repercussions, okay? We don't know what that, what those are, and when appropriate, we will, we will defend you to the best of our ability, but you know, we, we aren't in control of everything, so there's consequences to all actions, and if you're going to take actions, whatever they are, be prepared to face the consequences, and if you don't take action on something, be prepared to face those consequences because sometimes we do need to take action, and a lack of action can be just as detrimental as standing up. Anyway, continuing on. 5 on 9 pm. So this is a an entry later on that day. Blindsided. The lying bastard filed. Process server tried doing her job today. Smiley face. Also read the email about him not paying bills. The bank changed their website, which was frustrating. And then my hairstylist friend wouldn't listen to me about my hair. I broke down. I barely made it to my truck, praying all the while. Then numbers 18 and 18, um, came immediately and 17 and 17. I Googled at the light 18 embrace the shift with embrace the shift only with changes. Can we progress also one equals a high level. Divinity in eight is infinity. So one in eight, that's actually like a really good thing. Happy face. 17, take responsibility for your choices. Even though you haven't necessarily done anything wrong, you have more influence over your life patterns than you think. Chance for positive change. Okay, Kesha's woman comes to mind. I'm a motherfuckin woman, baby, that's right. I'm a motherfucker. So no more crack cry. Then, the number 242. Quote, rely on your skills. Try to eradicate bad influences that might, might something in your future. So be optimistic. Change your fortune in life. Okay. Smiley face. Thank you, creator. I receive and apply this. So I apologize that I didn't give credit to, to where, uh, the sources of that information was. It was somewhere on Google. And judging by what I put on here, they were probably little paragraphs that I screenshotted. I will see if I could find those. I make no promises. I also have to give credit to my former stepdaughter for introducing me to Kesha's woman whenever she first shared Honestly, this is one of the things that I miss about her. She and I had We liked to talk about music and pop culture and stuff, and she felt compelled one day to introduce me to this song. She was, I think, a senior in high school at the time, and she said, I want you to hear this song. She said, it's got a lot of curse words in it, but it's the intent behind it, and I think that you would actually like it. I said, okay. And of course, as a parent who is hearing a song that's with all of these F bombs in it, lots and lots of F bombs, I, basically, I was, I went into parent, parenting mode, or I was stayed, stayed in parenting mode, something like that, and I was like, that's very interesting. Thank you for sharing that with me. That's got. A little too many expletives in it for me, but thank you. And I could tell that she was disappointed that that was my reaction. And honestly, part of me in my head goes back in time and erases that and just thanks her and says, thank you for introducing me to this song because it is a really powerful song. And later on, I got to share that with my daughter. We, we went to a Girl Scout event out of, there was about an hour out of town and As we were leaving, the song had popped up in the thing and as being next and I paused it and I said, Okay baby, I said, here's the thing, I said, I have this song and your big sister actually introduced me to it. I said, it's got, it's got a lot of wordy ders in it. It's got the F bomb in it a lot. And I said, but I appreciate the intent. Behind which the Kesha is singing this. She's talking about being a strong powerful woman, and she is owning her life and And I said I really like that I said now it also talks about weed and you know that that's not something that that I really approve of but I appreciate where this person is coming from as she she says that I said so I would really like to jam out to this song and I Uh, I would like to share it with you, but please don't judge me. Is that okay? And she was like, okay, mom. Well, we loved it so much that we, we blasted it twice as we're driving down the road, as we're, we waited to leave the Girl Scout event before we started blasting it. Uh, also just as with many things, the views that I embraced at the time that I was, Engaging in these activities and the time that I was journaling these activities do not necessarily reflect the views that I have now people change people learn people grow and Just because I was one way five years ago or a year ago doesn't mean that I'm the same way today So if you want to judge me, then that's fine. Judge me Because truthfully the only judgment I really care about it is from my creator And I'm pretty sure that even though God is Within all of us, I'm pretty sure you individually are not the one who created me. So, yeah, we're all little creators. I don't think we are THE creator though. So, I'm not concerned about anyone's judgment. Negative judgment might make my life a little bit more difficult at some point, but if God brings me to it, then God will bring me through it. Just like he did with this divorce. And that's what we're talking about today. So that's my thing. This is, this is, uh, okay, let me, let me go back blindsided. Here is why and how I was blindsided. So if we go back several days in this and we see, this is February 21st. So sometime around February 13th or 14th. I actually took my, I took, I canceled clients and I took the time to work on this and when my husband at the time came home, he said, you know, I'm really glad to see that you're working on this because if you waited too long to file, then I was going to, I was going to file ahead of time or I was going to tell my attorney to just go ahead and he said, I wasn't going to wait. So I'm, I'm glad to see that you're working on it. Okay, great. And somewhere in there, I'd given him the update that, uh, that, you know, there's a possibility I may be able to file for free and, and everything and save the 400 bucks and this and that. And he's like, well, that's good. That's good. Well, little did I know that the lying bastard had already instructed his attorney to file. And it occurs to me, That possibly the reason that he keeps putting on the legal documents that everything started on February 14th, 2024. I think that was actually the date that his attorney filed. I could be wrong and if I am, God knows it wouldn't be the first time and I seriously doubt it'll be the last time. I don't know. But I think that's the situation. So here we have a perfect example of how this manipulative narcissist came in and said one thing and completely did another. So to you, my friend. His secrets, his attitudes, and his practices are being revealed, and if they haven't been revealed to his friends and family and the people close to him yet, they will be. It's just a matter of time, and this is why I can say with all authority that his secrets will be revealed, and that the crap that he's doing, he might be getting his way for now, but it won't last forever. Just, oh, and uh, the reason that I was filing was because he asked me When we had the, the initial discussing discussion, he said, do you want to follow or do you want me to follow? I said, I'll file. Which years ago, whenever I was pregnant and we had had an issue, I swore to him that I would never file that. I believed in marriage too much and, and everything else. And that if things ever got that bad, I would let him file. I would let him because we believed supposedly erroneously that whoever files that things are automatically in their favor. Lawyers say that there's, that there's no truth to that. Maybe there is, maybe there isn't. I really don't care. I thought there was at the time, but don't know, don't care. And I'm making a note that when I was pregnant with our son and we, almost split then actually kind of for a night or for a few hours we kind of did. I'm making a note that that is probably a story that that needs to be told because that was also the same time I think that he accused me of going out and giving another man a blow job. Mm hmm, yeah. Red flags all over the place. Hindsight is 20 20, right? What else, what else? Um, okay, so he, he filed a process server, tried to do her job, and the reason that I found that out is because she went to my home where my son was there, and he had a habit of not answering the door if it was not somebody that he knew, so good for him. But there was a business card left on the, or maybe she had said something on the doorbell, I don't recall, but there was a business card left there, and so he took a picture of it, and he texted it to his dad and myself, and then I inadvertently sent a text, I was so flustered by this that I inadvertently sent a text that was intended to my attorney, but it went to my almost ex, or soon to be ex, that was like, does this mean that he filed? Well, yeah, that's exactly what it meant. So, so basically, okay, congratulations to him. He got a little kudos. Um, he, he got a little gold star for himself. That little feather in his cap. That, yes, he got one over on me. So, congratulations! Way to go, asshole! You're the Captain Dickhead of the day! You must be so proud of yourself. And yeah, you know what you may say that I'm going over the top and that I'm being a bitch about it with this name calling And stuff like that, but honestly, these are the kinds of things that go through my head this is how Not how I feel About being lied to it was the fact that I was Lied to it was purposeful He was purposefully deceptive He was being like a puppeteer and pulling strings to elicit certain responses from people And if you think that that's not something that is worthy of commentary like what I'm giving, okay, that's fine, you don't have to agree with me, but the point is this is my story. This is how I felt about things. These are about my emotions as I am going through these things, as I got blindsided. So if you don't agree with me, that's fine. If everybody agreed on everything, the world would be a pretty boring place. And if you do agree with me, and you empathize and sympathize with me, then thank you. I, I really appreciate your support because it's not nice when we get a negative shocker like that, is it? I don't think anybody enjoys those kinds of things. It makes for some interesting drama, but it doesn't mean that we enjoy it. I mean, I know that some people Thrive on that and they purposefully create drama like he did in this case, but that's not my cup of tea. I prefer a much more calm, zen, peaceful, kind, spiritual kind of thing. I would, you will hear from me time and time again that I believe we rise by lifting others. And that's part of the reason for this podcast because if there is anybody going through anything Like what I went through Then I want to lift you up If you have a friend who is going through something and maybe you just don't understand what it is They're going through or why they're behaving the way they do Maybe they're up and they're down and they're just super crazy one minute and calm the next Well, maybe they're having an experience like mine. I mean, this is a great You example here. In one paragraph, I go from being, Oh my gosh, what the fuck? To, you know, and describing my, my mental breakdown as I'm going through this about how I have been deceived. I thought that we were going through things peacefully. We were doing things good. And he completely fucking blindsided me. He lied to me. He purposefully engaged in deceptive practices. Holy. Fuck. And there I am trying not to break down and ball in public. And then because my eyes are opened to signs and I immediately see some signs that say, it's okay, sweetheart, you're doing a good thing. You're doing, you're going through these things because of the choices that you made and they weren't bad choices. These are just some of the consequences of your choices of your actions. Okay. Deep breath. All right. Don't have to bawl my eyes out anymore. Um, the tools that I need to, to, to get in, uh, to get through this are here. Keep a good attitude. As my mom says, keep your chin up, baby girl. All right. All right. This is all for the greatest good. Be thankful. And, and by the Bible tells us that in all circumstances, give thanks. And I've been known to remind people of this that no matter how down and out you are it could always be worse So be glad That you are where you are Or maybe that this is the darkness that you just got to get through to get to the light that's on the other side And I I keep my eye on the prize. I Want to get through this tunnel of darkness so I can I can get to the light on the other side because that's my goal So attitude of gratitude And I, I will refer to this, this one sign that's in my aunt's kitchen all the time that says an attitude of gratitude turns what we have into enough. So get, so yes, give thanks in all circumstances. So receiving these blessings and applying these things, being reminded of these situations, being thankful because my eyes are open to seeing some signs. Yes, yes, absolutely. I, I endeavor to do that all day long, all the time, every day. It doesn't mean I'm always successful, but this is, that was a hell of a roller coaster, right? And I did that in one paragraph on this page, and that was just, um, a small portion of my day. So, I think we see another twist, another turn here. Mm hmm. And I think you're beginning to see If you didn't already Just how deceptive and that you probably are agreeing with me that yes This person absolutely is an asshole and I hope I feel like you're telling me Congratulations scarlet for taking the steps and starting to get the fuck out of here because yes You need to be away from that that person. I'm so very thankful. Also that I had somebody reach out to me last night She she used to be a client. She Is Basically, it was it was one of those dills a friend of a friend of a friend You know, that's how you make connections with with people sometimes and she will just say that she has not been in my life and over a decade other than a couple of random messages on on Facebook and but she was always a beautiful wonderful sweet kind influence in my life and She reached out to me yesterday and she said Scarlett. Are you okay? She goes, I woke up in the middle of the night thinking about you. And I just want to know, are you okay? I hope this message finds you safe and sound. Please let me know. And I messaged her back right away. Yes, I'm good. And she asked if I was still living in Portland, Texas, that is. And, uh, I told her, I said, I'm good and I don't live in Portland. I live in Aransas Pass because that's where I moved after the divorce and I launched my podcast this week and, you know, this is some, and she said, I'm going to look for it. And even though I know that somebody had, had, uh, at least one, I think probably two people had listened or at least downloaded some episodes before. Right after that, there were a lot more episodes downloaded and she sent me a beautiful message and said, Scarlett, it was so good to hear your voice and your laughter. You sound good. I look forward to hearing more of this. And she told me that I needed to be doing audio books and stuff. And I said, thank you, because I really want to do that. I want to be a voice actor. So, a lot of blessings here, and I'm thankful that my friend reached out to me. I I Feel like and she told me she said well, that must be what what the Holy Spirit was telling me was you know basically to reach out to me in in this way, but um This is life, this is my life It's sometimes crazy sometimes sometimes Not as enjoyable, but truthfully, it's always good because even the stuff that's not so good Helps get me through and gets me to the good stuff Right This is a great example of what we look for we find I could focus on the not so good parts and be where where where it's not so good poor me Woe is me blah blah. You know what? I just don't fucking care. That's not who I am I'm a person who You At least in this space, this is a safe space for me because I'm not having to look anybody in the eye. And honestly, I can go through and edit out stuff if I want to. And truly, I just listened to, well, I was hearing, uh, my computer was playing one of the last episodes and I, I used some really foul language, language to describe how, or one reason why. The person I was married to should be sharing information with me before sharing it with his mummy and it was really foul and I'm I feel embarrassed by it, but that was Really basic just that's just how really basic that I felt that this should be an obvious thing an obvious decision a reason why and To be treated with such disrespect was just But I apologize because I feel like I disrespected you in my extreme potty mouth attitude. But this is me, and I am saying things as, as I feel. So, that's all the more reason that it is unedited. It, it, the thought occurred to me that I could go in and I could insert an apology in there or whatever, but nope. Nope, I'm not doing it because this is real, this is authentic, and the more it's edited, the less of the true me that you're getting. So there you go. I love you. I truly appreciate you being here with me and all that's going on. You're amazing. And I hope that whatever you're going through, that you feel Uplifted, that you feel cherished and loved because everyone deserves to feel that. I hope you feel solid ground beneath you, encouraging you to walk taller, walk strong, to be faithful in the steps that you're taking. Not fearful. Be confident. Be a motherfuckin woman, baby, that's right. Motherfucker. Mm hmm. And that's my story for today. There are a lot of stories, a lot of different days, a lot of different ways, lots of ways for things to go, and sometimes it's just a shift in perspective that changes the narrative. So that's why I'm here narrating, because you will sometimes hear my perspective shift as I narrate, and it changes the story. So. I hope you like it. I hope you enjoy. Stay tuned.