Episode 12 - What's THIS human designed FOR? Hmm...

Day of Events: February 22, 2024

Starting off the day pretty low and still struggling how a man who was supposedly still in love with me lied and manipulated and deceived me, I  asked my best friend for help and she as there for me.  Thankfully, so was the rest of the universe- i was in a much better mood and way more uplifted by the time I actually met up with my friend later that day.

Nicely or sadly- the almost ex still did a nice thing for me, but was it actually FOR me or was it an attempt to manipulate my daughter (and by extension, my son)?  I think I know the answer to that but I'll let you draw your own conclusion.  

Scarlett Davis

Facebook: Future Single Lady

email: FutureSingleLady@gmail.com

Transcript

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What the what? Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. Really? Seriously? Yep, those are often some of my reactions as I deal with the crap that I deal with as I am gaining my freedom. Freedom from a relationship of 20 years with someone who didn't want to end the relationship yet. He wanted to end it on his terms. Surprise, surprise. I just beat him to the punch. This is the future single lady and that's me. I'm Scarlett Davis and these are the chronicles of my journey from that long relationship to getting the heck out of it. Freedom! Isn't that what William Wallace said at the end? Hmm. Yeah, I could say something about, uh, What was happening whenever he said that but uh, we're just gonna leave it at that future single lady at gmail. com That's my email address Also the name of the page on Facebook where you can visit where you can chat with me where I'd love to hear what's going on with you This podcast is for entertainment purposes only. Mostly, um, I'm gonna go ahead and say my entertainment because this is me and my thoughts and my opinions about the things that I'm experiencing and, well, sometimes they're just a little bit out there. But that's me and that's my life. I hope you're a little bit out there too and if you're not that's okay. You're welcome to come along for the ride because this ride is like a roller coaster. Ups, downs, twists, turns, everything. So, yeah. Buckle your seatbelt. February 22nd, 2024. Slept okay. Bugged. Bummed about. Husband lying about. I'm reminding myself happy face freedom, happy face. Didn't feel like learning last night, so I actually watched my shows on TV last night. Shocker! I really haven't been able to get into stuff like TV and fiction books for a while. My mind wants to learn and accomplish. I'd kind of like to cry and to curl up in a ball, grieving what once was, and that's okay, because if I'm not ever upset, it means I wasn't really connected or invested. And I was. To some degree, I still am. Happy face. Heart sunshine emoji. Lord, give me strength and courage. Courage is what I'd ask for to get me through this. I love what God's seeing me through, please! Exclamation mark. I know you will, and we will be victorious in light, but I still have to ask and step in faith. Smiley face and heart sunshine emoji. VICTORIOUS! In all capital letters. That's the trait of the day from my best future self. Happy face emoji. Later that evening, I wrote again. Very interesting day! Exclamation mark. I broke down this morning and texted my best friend that I needed help, that yesterday had dealt me a blow. I cried as I was texting, which I couldn't release prior to that despite the music I was listening to, the rage request on Spotify. It took about 45 minutes to start getting where I needed it to be. One of my clients stood me up but paid for it. One of my clients, another one of them, was almost, I thought, going to be, um, a stand up, but it was only three minutes late and smiley face. She was a curious about what I'd been served. The lawyer responded faster than, than I thought, but was, uh, was perfect. The lawyer responded faster than I thought, but it was perfect because this client was asking me questions. That client also had a queen bed for me and maybe some chairs. And, uh, the divorce papers, in the divorce papers, my husband is asking for everything and child support, and spousal support! Exclamation mark. Yeah. My best friend was shocked about that one too. At three o'clock, uh, Okay, so I was in Cathy Heller's Boldly Abundant program. I said at three o'clock, Cathy Heller won out over Dr. John Beaulieu. He's the one I learned sound therapy from. He kind of stumbled upon it, I guess, with, um, tuning forks? Anyway, and boy, what a bargain! Human design explained. And I got to talk to Cathy and be lifted up and prayed for, supported for, and encouraged by in countless ways. By not only her, but everyone who was in the group. So, number one, a projector, Is a guide. Okay, I'm, uh, in human design, I am a projector. A projector is a guide waiting for an invitation to honor my splenic authority of what I know in my bones for what I need to do. My soul gives me the invitation. Um, I got a heart sunshine emoji. So, quick thing on that. Now this is my words, not anyone else's, but my elevator pitch or elevator description for what human design is, even though it is based on your exact point and exact time when you were born, similar to Zodiac, because it's about where the stars are and everything, it's, Zodiac is more about personality stuff. Human design is more like what you, you are physically designed to do. So if I were to put this in computer terms, I would say that human design would be the, um, the hardware on which a program runs. The Zodiac is more about the software running on that program. So if you have say software for a PlayStation, but you're trying to run it on a Nintendo, it's not gonna work, right? So knowing your human design, which I I'm still working on getting mine done with my friend who is, uh, she's a human design expert and she's amazing and I'm mis conferencing with her. Anyway, knowing what you are designed to do helps you understand how to approach what you need to do. And in this case, a projector is someone who is here to guide other people. There's this whole thing about energy and projectors do not create energy. Um, there's, there's, uh, what is it? There's projectors, reflectors, um, generators, manifestors, manifestor generators. There's like five different things. Basically, it's just like I have always trusted the, the, my, my mom always taught me what do your bones tell you. She taught me to trust what I know inside of me. And that's exactly what a projector does. Also, it's a waste basically waiting for invitation just means that if I put all of my information or help or assistance or anything like that out there, it's a waste of time and energy if I don't first have an invitation. So for me to protect my energy, I need to be invited in. As far as being a guide, my soul invited me to do what I need to do to guide. So I guess in one way in my, well, again, I profess my ignorance to a certain level, but I would say based on my knowledge at this point, it would be kind of like my soul gave me the authority and the invitation to create this pod, this podcast, but as far as you. Listening to what I have. Well, that's you creating the invitation by tuning in. You're inviting my words, my thoughts, my stuff into your space by tuning in. And I thank you for that. Okay, I will, I will, Give more information as I can about human design because it's an incredibly interesting topic and my friend Becky Ayers, she is, yeah, she's amazing. Anyway, back to what I was journaling. So, I said, ah, okay. And she saw a connection between hair and massage and guiding, as they are all caring for others. I dropped my jaw. Jaw drop. Ah! So good. Two clients who I had come in, they were wonderful, and I loved selling the jewelry for another client of mine to them, Happy Face. My best friend picked me up from the house for dinner. We sat in her car and talked until my husband and daughter came home. They were so thoughtful. Though I had said I wouldn't be home for dinner, husband saw I was home on the ring doorbell and got me a taco from where they went. Wow, that's, that's really thoughtful and considerate. My best friend got some, some dental work done today, so her teeth were really sore, and we talked a lot more in the car and at the restaurant. Lots more really personal stuff. And, finally, we, we, well, we sat in the car at the restaurant and talked a lot more personal stuff. We finally went inside the restaurant and sat down outside. She fussed at me because I paid, but she was an exceptional listener, complimented that I'm being very thoughtful in this process. Guess it was a theme for, for her today. Someone else called and, and cried today, too. LOL. Got to chat with my daughter when I got home. She's not handling things as well as she puts on. I'm really praying for her. She's relying on our cat, Corona, a lot. I'm a badass and I love my kid. I love my kick ass self. I'm loving my accountability partner too. That's somebody who I have in the Boldly Abundant program. She's also kick ass. Already a great day. Now, Now I gotta get a dress tomorrow, the next day, for my friend's wedding. Which is also tomorrow. God help me, please. Happy face, sunshine, heart emoji. Sweet dreams, dear me. Tomorrow will take care of itself. Happy face and star blast emoji. Yeah, so some commentary on that. I know that that was kind of all over the place, but whenever I write these journals, this is for me to get my thoughts out and so you can see that I started off the day pretty low. And I was doing stuff to try to help myself, using music as therapy. And I prioritized my education, what was most important to me. And it benefited me. It benefited me in a lot of ways. I thankfully had a good support system at the time, and it was my best friend who had said, If you ever need anything, just call me. And I did, and she was there for me. Mmm, I ended the day with some really good blessings and some good intentions for the next day. And I'm really glad that the day didn't, didn't stay as low as it started out. That it ended higher than it began. I love and appreciate that my husband was still showing consideration for me. Even though I'd said that I wasn't, wasn't going to be there, he, he still Went out of his way to be considerate. That was amazing. That was the kind of stuff that I was looking for and hoping for throughout this process. To me, that was still being a team player family unit. That was what I wanted. I wanted for us as parents to set the example for our children that we can still care for and about each other. Even if we don't wear rings on our fingers and have a piece of paper that says that we are committed to each other anymore. That was what I wanted and that was a great example of it being done. Now, In hindsight, was, was it truly thoughtful consideration? Was it, you know, was my daughter really to receive credit for it? Was it her idea? I don't think so. Or was it him trying to show himself being an awesome and amazing person to my child, but he was really just playing a game? That, sadly, is just as likely to be the truth as anything, and especially when you see what happened less than two months down the road. Yeah. I believe that he was planting seeds and that he was making himself look one way to our daughter. It's sad. Yeah. It's really sad that I believe that to be the truth, because I wanted so badly for the nicer thing to be the truth. And maybe, maybe the nicer thing is the truth. It's just, once a leopard shows its spots, it's kinda hard to believe that they don't have any spots. I don't know if that really makes any sense to you, but it does to me. What is it, the thing that, um, once a person shows you who they are, believe them. Well, there's a lot of stuff that maybe I should have believed from the beginning, but if I had, I wouldn't have my children out of it. And even though things are not, the most family like right now, or are more stressful and strange than they should be. It doesn't, it doesn't change the fact that I am ecstatic that I have two amazing individuals in my life who I am blessed to be able to call my children. So, regardless of the fact that they are spending an exorbitant amount of energy being angry with me, I can't help that. I hope that they feel their emotions and that they process them through and treat them as experiences and not as possessions. I hope they feel their feels so that they can learn from it, grow and move on, apply what they need to learn. And to not let experiences hold them back. If, if we have, if we allow an experience to hold us back, that means that we're holding on to some kind of trauma. And that's, that means that we're treating an experience as a possession. And we're allowing it to block. That's my opinion. So, experiences, not possessions. And I hope my children learn and grow through this Expediently, actually just efficiently, but mostly all for the greatest good and I'm not arrogant enough To think that I know what the greatest good is That's the tricky part sometimes right we think we know we we say the the shoulds and the need to's All over the place what somebody should be doing or should not be doing and they need to do this or they need to not Be doing that But in truth, we don't We don't actually know So that's that's where faith comes in for me I put my faith in a higher power and I just I pray to god That everything works out all for the greatest good So that's my intention. That's where my energy is That's what I do. I don't know if that helps you or not, but there you go. So, ups, downs, and all arounds. Twisted, twisted outs and straightened outs and, and um, whatever, all kinds of just tangled up emotions and knots all over the place. It's a roller coaster ride. It's what I've said always from the beginning, right? This is me on my journey as I process through everything. The actions, the emotions, everything that it takes, has taken to get me through the divorce that I asked for. The divorce from a man who I learned afterwards was a narcissist and delivered well on his promise to make things ugly. Well, God bless him, because I want the father of my children to be happy. actually be a good decent kind of person because he's influencing my children and I want my children to have the best influence as possible but Sometimes you have to have an influence from not such a great Person place or thing in order to learn that that's how you don't want to be Sometimes you have to see what is right so you can make a decision Or you have to see what is wrong so that you can make a decision for what is right It's not my choice to make. And that's why I just leave things up to the universe. And say, all for the greatest good. And then to try to be flexible enough with a good enough attitude to go through that. To have courage. It's one thing, I know that I have, well there's the serenity prayer, okay? Right? It goes that God grant me this and that and whatever. Well, my version of that is, God give me guidance. Uh, was it the vision to see your guidance, the wisdom to understand it, and the courage to follow it. Well, the first part I believe is redundant because I believe that God guides us all the time. I believe that God, the creator, whatever name you want to put on, He Him, her, it, they, whatever, is pure love, the purest kind of love. And I feel that just even by that definition, of course, my creator is guiding me. So, the first part is redundant. The second part, having the wisdom to see, the guidance, see, hear, feel, know, sense, the guidance of my creator. Okay? Yeah. A lot of people see the guidance. We have the intuition that we know we're supposed to do this and not that or whatever. It's kind of like leading a horse to water, but you can't make it drink. So the most important thing is having the courage, and that's the part that moves me to tears. Having the courage to follow the guidance that you're blessed to sense. That means that if you are the horse that has been led to the water, reach down and take a drink. Know that the water is nourishing, that it's not poison. Reach down and take a fucking drink. Don't be a dumbass. It's there for nourishment. But that's not always the easiest thing to do. So, courage, courage, courage. Stepping out in faith and confidence. Confidence that the, That what I've seen is the signs from my creator are actually there, and therefore their affirmations, their guideposts on my journey. So this is me. This is my journey. Thank you for being here. I am ecstatic to be to be on this journey with you, and I hope you get as much out of it as as I do at the very least. I hope that you're entertained. That it creates enough diversion in your day to create some joy, some happiness, maybe some perspective. Maybe that your stuff is, is not as bad as you thought, or maybe just some encouragement that, you know what, if somebody else made it through this crap, maybe you can too. Whatever your crap is. And that's, that's one thing I'd really like to know. What is your story? What is, what is the crap that you're dealing with? What, what signs are you seeing for what steps you need to be taking and do you have the courage to follow it? Would you like some prayer on that? Because I would love to send you some good thoughts and energy, but I need to know what it is that, that you want help with. And that's where your, your action comes into play. Send me a message right now. All I've got is, um, what is it, email, future single lady@gmail.com. And I've got a Facebook page, future single lady. So reach out to me because I want to know what your stuff is. I wanna know what your story is, and I'd like to be with you on your journey. Is that okay? Look at me, the projector asking for an invitation. It's great. It's hilarious. I love it. Tune in for more of The Future Single Lady with Scarlett Davis on podcasts wherever you get your podcasts. Love you!