Ep 7: Turning Strain into Strength: A Journey of Dirt, Design, and the Divine

Ever faced an obstacle so overwhelming it seemed designed to make you quit? In this heartfelt conversation with James and Tiffany Bear, we journey through their remarkable story of building Le Coiffeur salon against what seemed like impossible odds.

The Bears share how a piece of property Tiffany initially disliked became the clear vision for her salon during the pandemic. What follows is a tale that would test the resilience of even the strongest couples – from deceptive contractors to blocked phone numbers, from construction standstills to a nearly-finished building they legally couldn't use. When their second builder abandoned the 90% completed project after closing permits without final inspections, they were left with a fully-funded building they couldn't occupy.

"Every time I was like 'Babe, it's just getting to be so much money, so much stress, so much pressure,' he's like, every single time without fail: 'Do it the way you want it,'" Tiffany recalls of James' unwavering support despite being offshore for months at a time during construction. Their story reveals how obstacles often confirm you're on the right path rather than indicating a wrong turn.

What began as Tiffany's desire for a peaceful workplace has transformed into an unexpected ministry. "She opened the front door and couldn't even get in far enough to close it... and said 'Ministry is going to happen in this place,'" Tiffany shares about a friend's prophetic words upon first seeing the completed salon.

This episode is a masterclass in perseverance, partnership, and faith when the path forward seems impossible. Listen now and be encouraged that your own obstacles might just be confirmation you're exactly where you need to be.

Contact Tiffany: Le Coiffeur Salon in Breaux Bridge, Louisiana through Instagram at Le_CoiffeurBreauxBridge

Don’t forget to like, subscribe, and share this episode if it encouraged you!

Transcript

Recognizing God's Calling vs. Obstacles

Speaker 1 0:00

What was it that made you think this is of the Lord versus this is the enemy ? Like shutting a door , because I know sometimes that's hard too Like you're running into obstacle after obstacle after obstacle , I thought this is what we're supposed to be doing , like . Do we keep pressing and keep getting rejected , or do we ?

Speaker 3 0:18

I think being of the Lord came in the beginning , and then obstacles came . The rest of the way , which you know is going to happen any time you're on the right path , the enemy's going to try to knock you off it .

Speaker 4 0:27

This is the Elevation Room , a space where we unpack life's hardest moments and the impact that they have on our faith , family and fulfillment . I'm your host , dustin Lael , and each episode we share real stories of resilience and breakthrough to inspire you to keep moving forward , rooted in your purpose , living on purpose and walking with purpose . This journey we call life is not meant to be done alone , so click subscribe or the follow button now settle in and join us as we go in to the Elevation Room . Welcome back to the Elevation Room . Today we have my beautiful wife , bethany , we've got James and Tiffany Bear . Y'all say hi . Hey , hello .

Speaker 4 1:12

And our room looks a little bit different today because the podcast studio is not set up for four people , so this is our first four-person episode . So congratulations and welcome . Thank you .

Speaker 3 1:23

Yeah , if y'all would like , please give an introduction of yourselves for our vast audience of listeners my name is james bear and I'm a project manager at blue fin , and I live in bro bridge , louisiana and I'm his wife , tiffany bear , and I own le coiffeur salon in bro bridge , nice le coiffeur , yes , which we saw a lot when we were in france .

Speaker 4 1:44

we were pointed out everywhere , so that was a cool moment . So how long have y'all been married ?

Speaker 3 1:51

14 years .

Speaker 2 1:52

Almost in October . Okay , alright , way to go , james . I like the way James looked and he's like confirmation .

Speaker 1 1:59

Yes , that is awesome .

Speaker 4 2:00

Well , we're excited to have y'all today . We've had quite a few board nights . Board game nights together had a lot of fun . We talked about all getting together and having a conversation about some of y'all's life's experiences and just having a good time . Y'all ready ? Here we are , let's go .

Speaker 4 2:18

So I always like to get started with . Everyone's life was perfect . There's no challenges , and you know and by now , on episode seven , we just know that's not the case . So I'd love to open it up to y'all and just share with me . Y'all been married 14 years . Y'all have been on this journey together . I know , james , you've worked offshore , you've worked out of state Tiffany , starting a salon from the ground up . It's not easy work . So I'd love to understand a moment , a season that was really challenging for y'all , that y'all have learned through .

Speaker 3 2:54

Where should we start Building the salon , I guess would be a good one , Because there was a lot of challenges . We faced with that .

Speaker 4 3:01

For sure , so building the salon . What season of life were y'all in ? How long were y'all married ? What did your work look like at the time , James ?

Speaker 2 3:14

Where were you coming out of , tiffany ? So I had been at a large salon for several years and unhappy there for a while , kind of always had my eye on the ball of getting out . Didn't know what that would look like . Um , we ultimately found a piece of property in 2020 , during the pandemic . Not ideal time to move or shake or do anything more like hunker down and wait for it to end . But that's when god moved , and so piece of property I didn't like , really Really . And . I fell in love with how .

Speaker 4 3:46

Why didn't you like it ?

Speaker 3 3:48

Several reasons . It's very small and the side of town it's on I didn't think was a very good area for it really , you know , and my vision of it wouldn't have been there .

Speaker 4 3:56

Yeah . So did you find the piece of property and bring it to him , or did y'all kind of find it together and then had to work through ?

Speaker 2 4:03

that I was just on drive board during covid and I we had seen it for sale um the december before and it kind of appealed to both of us .

Speaker 2 4:12

It's on a main highway and it had good visibility , but we didn't really have a plan for how to make money with it and there was an old building on it that would have needed a lot of work to tear down . Well , the building was now gone and it was for sale and I was . It occurred to me during COVID exactly how much I did not want to go back

Beginning the Salon Journey During COVID

Speaker 2 4:30

to work at the big salon , and so God was like I mean , it just dropped like a bowling ball and and I could see it all like exactly the way it is today . I could just see it and I was like that's that . And I went home and I was like hey , babe , you know that piece of property , I'm going to have a salon there that you don't like . And it was just one of those things where , like , I mean , I feel like we talk about decisions but at the same time , when God moves , it's like we both just trust . If the other person says it like we trust it .

Speaker 4 5:00

Yep , what was your thoughts when she first brought that to you ? That's it . Support her in it , you know , because she was very steadfast in wanting it and thinking that's where she needed to be . Yeah , Now were you shut down during COVID for the previous company . So you didn't have any work at all at the time . And what about you , James ? Were you still working ?

Speaker 3 5:19

Yep and really doing better than ever probably . You know really busy and and .

Speaker 4 5:26

Very well at that time . So then what happened ?

Speaker 2 5:30

once y'all decided to buy it . Well , the seller was particularly interesting and James actually , I think , outsmarted him and made it happen .

Speaker 3 5:39

I wouldn't say that . Good looking , I don't even remember what we're talking about .

Speaker 2 5:44

Well , we had called and we were asking him and he was kind of just like I'm not taking offers . I get calls all the time and I'm not interested .

Speaker 4 5:50

So it wasn't listed for sale .

Speaker 2 5:51

It was for sale by owner .

Speaker 4 5:52

There was just a sign on the property .

Speaker 2 5:54

Like a stake in the road or something like that , yeah , and he called me one day . We were back at work and I was , like I do , but I was also really scared because I was asking for like a lot of money for my business endeavor .

Speaker 3 6:08

The guy's selling it used to be a judge and very crafty .

Speaker 2 6:13

Let's put it that way . Crafty is a great word , and so I think he got confused about who was supposed to meet him there to sign the purchase agreement . And you , mr Uber punctual , got there early before whoever he was supposed to meet with a purchase agreement in hand and then got signed and that was it .

Speaker 4 6:31

So was he . He was expecting someone else to show up , seemed like it really presumably interesting yep , and then did y'all start building right away , or was that part ?

Speaker 3 6:42

of the process .

Speaker 2 6:43

Oh yeah , I forgot about that part no , yeah , enlighten us please um well , she had a builder she really liked and highly recommended by a long-term client who I've usually see eye to eye with , and very nice , very nice gentleman and , yeah , he did a great job for her yes , and he did a terrible job for us , so y'all gave him the job and he started building or finished building , or what Did he have to be fired ?

Speaker 4 7:10

mid-job , beginning job .

Speaker 2 7:13

It was still dirt work . It was still he hadn't really done a whole lot . His daughter had some health challenges again , covid , so he was doing a lot of driving for her . His wife also had some health challenges he , so he was doing a lot of driving for her . His wife also had some health challenges . He was driving a lot for her and just in his business he was over . He was just spread too thin . Um , great man of the lord pastors a small church and that gave me a lot of peace that I would be working with someone like that . Um , but ultimately I cried I've never had to let anyone go , ever and I was like I'm so sorry , but this isn working . Like we got to get the ball rolling and you're not , we could see it never get built .

Speaker 3 7:47

That way Was the main thing . Were things just ?

Speaker 4 7:48

dragging on , Because I mean if y'all were just dirt work , I mean there wasn't even a lot that had been done already , and it was months and mind you , we're trying to summer , so yeah , was that about the same time y'all were building the ?

Speaker 2 8:13

yes , we kicked off with the second builder in early 21 maybe don't know . Yeah , I don't do dates well yeah I think , I think so gotcha all right .

Speaker 4 8:24

So then what else happened ?

Speaker 1 8:25

I mean what y'all said hey , this is was a challenging season what was it that made you think this is of the lord versus this is the enemy ? Like shutting the door , because I know sometimes that's hard too . Like you're running into obstacle after obstacle after obstacle , I thought this is what we're supposed to be doing , like , like . Do we keep pressing and keep getting rejected , or do we ?

Speaker 3 8:47

I think being of the Lord came in the beginning , and then obstacles came . The rest of the way , which you know is going to happen anytime you're on the right path , the enemy's going to try to knock you off . That's true .

Speaker 2 8:56

So we had done something that's not really considered generally wise , but we felt good about it . We lent money to family and that was totally fine . But the afternoon that he signed the purchase agreement , we were called and told we were getting a wire to get the money back . And that was not expected at all in this , in that like season at all , and so you know we didn't want to go into debt to buy the property and I was like , okay , I think we can like have 20 bucks in our checking account if . If like , okay , I think we can like have 20 bucks in our checking account . If . If we don't like , I think we can still do it . It was like a huge oh my gosh , are we really going to do this ? And just faith . It was such a strong feeling that God put on me that we did it . And then it was almost like confirmation that we didn't have to cut it close , that everything was just so smooth . And then the obstacles came when we got to the second builder . Really it was pretty hellacious .

Speaker 3 9:52

You're up , it does .

Speaker 1 9:55

That's actually whenever you and I connected in the middle of the build . We were in the small group find your people .

Speaker 1 10:03

Find your people and I found my people , and I found my people , my person but yes , and I remember you would come in and you were just like on the verge of tears because it was such an exciting time and you felt like it was a promise from the lord . But you were running into so many obstacles and you're like I just need prayer , I need to know how to handle this , like appropriately , how to all the things . And I didn't even know that I was walking through that season with you until afterwards , you know , through conversation , like wow , that's when we met and it's amazing how the Lord puts people in your life . And we were in a little group like literally was called find your people and I found my people in that group even that was a god thing .

Speaker 2 10:48

I remember sitting in church small group expo day and like it's like god , I want to join a group . None of this is jumping out at me and like find your people is jumping off the page and at the time like I felt like I had my people . I had people for that season and what I didn't know that God knew was they weren't gonna be in the next season and Bethany was , and so I went just like obediently , like I don't know why I'm here , but I'm here and yeah , huge , hugely , um , supportive friend came out of that season that's awesome .

Speaker 4 11:21

So how long did it take you all to build ?

Speaker 2 11:25

Just over a year .

Speaker 4 11:32

We started in January and we finished the following February , March-ish . Was there ever a time where you're like , hey , this isn't going to work ? Or did you all say , hey , these are just obstacles and we got to get through it ?

Speaker 3 11:39

There were plenty of them .

Speaker 4 11:40

Okay , tell me more , tell me more .

Speaker 3 11:44

So me being busier than ever . You know I'm gone . I can't even think of how much at this point , but I'm gone months at a time . Okay , with work , yes , and trying to battle with a contractor while I'm offshore running jobs and just throwing money at it because I just want it to end Right .

Speaker 2 12:04

I'm offshore running jobs and just throwing money at it , because I just want it to end , you know it's so a little bit of context . I

Builder Problems and Construction Headaches

Speaker 2 12:10

have a client who has like multiple degrees and can , I think , pretty accurately say by what I'm telling her , my experiences are you're dealing with a sexist and a narcissist and you're not going to win by being nice and you're not going to win by being mean . You need to just go through as quickly as possible and just come to an end with the relationship there , finish the contract , move on with your life . You're not , you're not going to win and you're a woman and you're really not going to win wow , so it was like that so it was like that .

Speaker 1 12:42

And this is all , while Bear is in another country , another state , could have been another country at that point , the Gulf of Mexico . Yes , america .

Speaker 3 12:53

So primarily at one point , I think , the build actually came to a standstill .

Speaker 2 12:57

It did for a solid month .

Speaker 3 12:59

And I came home in the middle of it .

Speaker 2 13:09

He just wanted to protect me and fix it and be there .

Speaker 3 13:18

But anyway we got it back on track . I showed up at the builder's house , probably 5 in the morning , because I know he's there , because he's not taking our calls at this point .

Speaker 2 13:30

He had blocked my number Wow .

Speaker 3 13:32

In the middle of the build .

Speaker 2 13:33

He was communicating by email only .

Speaker 3 13:36

Yeah , and trying to manipulate emails , because that's what's referenced in court , where this is heading at this point .

Speaker 1 13:43

Wow , I didn't know it was that deep .

Speaker 2 13:48

I couldn't even contact him to pay him on time . We wound up having to exchange payments through our bank , like let's bring money to the bank and him pick it up from the bank , because he would not . He just wouldn't communicate , wow . So basically what the salon is is a custom home beautiful , that made in a way to do hair in and I think he thought he was just going to do a quick beauty shop and it was going to be very builder grade and very hands off with a dumb little girl . And what he didn't know is I've had a passion for home design almost my whole life .

Speaker 2 14:27

I made my own floor plans . I made my own site plan . I found an architect to bring that to life with something that they could work from , and I wanted to be very much a part of it . I had a picture of every single thing that I wanted that I knew was different than builder grade . I was so prepared to execute a smooth construction process and I wanted to have a great relationship with all of the subcontractors and hopefully communicate with skilled people to work together to make an amazing end product . And I will say that we got an amazing end product , but it was not smooth because sort of the middleman was the obstacle and unfortunately you cannot self-contract a commercial building . Not that I could have hired the group of people we got , but he did supply amazing subcontractors and I just showed up every day and he'd also had an interesting sentence in his contract which was do not talk to the subcontractors . And .

Speaker 2 15:27

I asked about that before we signed it . I said you know I I can't say hello , how are you ? Good morning , good afternoon , thank you . It came out great , like I can't say anything to them . And he was like , well , I mean sort of dismissive , but like , if you must , well , you've known me before today .

Speaker 5 15:43

Like I'm not going to not talk to someone like in any sort of relationship with me , like .

Speaker 2 15:50

So , when he blocked me , I took that as permission to talk to them , because if you're not going to talk to me , well , I need to talk to someone . I need to communicate with someone about what I want , and so I just started doing exactly what he didn't want and , um , that ended up making it come out the way that we wanted , but unfortunately , with a lot of friction yeah .

Speaker 4 16:10

How did it get to that point where he wasn't even willing to communicate at all ?

Speaker 2 16:15

well , one of the first times I met with him on site was after so it's a raised building , after they had done the subfloor . And he had a question and I said , okay , well , and I had told him in the beginning too , I'm off at 2 30 every day . I work 30 minutes from the job site . Like I can be here at three every day , which is typical end of day for construction . So I thought , oh , this would be perfect , we can talk about what's coming up , I can have my pictures and all my things prepared .

Speaker 2 16:42

Um , he was not interested at meeting at the job site at the end of the day any day . It . It was a huge problem and he made that known and so he did it one day , in the very beginning , and we stood there and he said this phrase . He said I'm not doing this design on the fly stuff . And I said , well , it's not design on the fly , like it's all very well planned out . But you didn't want to see the pictures at the initial meeting . You didn't want to see the pictures here . When do you want me to give you the information , to further explain the details of what I'm wanting ? And there was never an answer to that question .

Speaker 3 17:15

It was always just like , basically like little girl , we're not doing that he just want to build it how he wanted to build just wanted to say y'all go in and do what y'all always do we made a bad decision and we signed a contract and at this point we're just trying to get through it . Cut your losses , have a building half done , start over , grind it out , finish it .

Speaker 2 17:39

So basically it got to that point because I wasn't going to give in and every time I would call him . And it's sad because my husband's offshore , he's working probably 14 plus hours a day and the little bit of time he gets to call and be on the phone together , I'm telling him the problem of the day and he's just there supporting me , saying , babe , do what you want , make it what you want , like he was so supportive . And of course every phone call involves more money and letting this man just totally take advantage of the situation .

Speaker 3 18:12

By time it's starting to strain our relationship too .

Speaker 1 18:14

You know it's a lot of pressure on us kind of goes back to what you said earlier too , though , knowing that it was a promise from the lord . You know you're going to expect those setbacks and those , but we didn't expect it . I know you can . It's almost like you can never truly prepare , because I feel like , if you know what would be to come , it would be almost too scary or too intimidating that you would back down on the promise that God had for you . But all of those setbacks and pushbacks and you know frustrating moments where y'all kept going and kept pushing in , and now you're seeing the fruit of , like , the ministry that's coming out of that build , like every time you know you're in your salon and it is absolutely beautiful .

Speaker 1 19:03

It is that's amazing it is gorgeous , it is absolutely gorgeous . It's like a magnolia magazine cover . But it's not just beautiful , it's a place of like ministry and like holy spirit is in that building and I know it's because of y'all obedience and y'all pushing through and but , yeah , that just shows that the magnificent call and the calling that was behind it all , like y'all yes , because all the people who are sitting in that chair that you're encouraging and you're just a listening ear and you know a wise word .

Speaker 2 19:47

The interesting part of what you're saying is I almost I didn't really know that was going to be happening . It was more like so I think I had undiagnosed ADHD and functioning in the Lafayette salon I was working at it was just so overstimulating and so just so much . I just wanted out and there was some , you know , interpersonal friction . When you have that many people together , that's going to happen . I just wanted out and there was some interpersonal friction . When you have that many people together , that's going to happen . I just wanted out and the focus for me was on God giving me this peaceful place for me and my clients .

Speaker 2 20:19

And that was it and your co-leader , that semester of Find your People . She came , she was the first friend , the first person outside of my very close family to see it , and it wasn't furnished but it was basically complete as far as the bill goes . She opened the front door and she couldn't even get in far enough to close the door and it was almost like she was , her breath was caught and she said ministry is going to happen in this place , ministry is going to happen in this place , and it was almost like a weight , but not in a bad way like a duty to carry out , almost like she was kind of working of the Lord , saying this is what God wants you to do here , and I was like , oh , I don't know if I can . That's heavy .

Speaker 2 21:10

That's a responsibility , like I just thought I was coming to do some hair in a happy place , you know , um . But God has delivered that too , like just allowing me to not be overstimulated . I can be calm and I'm not stressed and I'm not worried about anything and I can listen well , and all the things that I've learned over the years from the Bible and from you know walking with the Lord . It's like God has the perfect thing for that person at that time , and I'm that vessel right .

Speaker 2 21:36

Like . It's just like in our freedom retreats .

Speaker 3 21:39

It's just the conduit whatever he wants and it was never really built , designed as a moneymaker . You know , it's a place for her to work really , and that's all it's ever been . Sometimes I encourage her , you know know a little bit a little pushback , you know , yeah , it's always been just a place for her to work and that's what ultimately , it's like a safe haven .

Speaker 1 21:58

You walk into there and it's just .

Speaker 4 22:00

It's so peaceful and so coming out of that season I could tell you know that impacted you a lot .

Speaker 4 22:07

There's obviously a lot that you wanted to do protecting your woman , watching out for your wife that you know that impacted you a lot . There's obviously a lot that you wanted to do . Protecting your woman , watching out for your wife that you know being offshore probably kept you from doing all that you wanted to do . What did y'all learn through that season ? What was god doing in you through y'all ? Because I mean we understand , like said , moments that bring strain within a relationship can also bear strength down the road through those things , because through it all we bond and get closer and learn some things If we choose , yeah , if you choose .

Speaker 4 22:42

that's right . So I'd love to hear some of what God was doing through y'all in y'all and y'all's relationship At that time . At that time and on the other side of it , I'd say the other side of it has brought us closer ultimately .

Speaker 3 22:57

You know , because the struggles you do get close when you go through struggles and you go through them together . You know it's um , it's always a battle , but if you're fighting it together , it's uh , it's better in the long run .

Speaker 2 23:08

I'll say , too , that I've always been pretty independent and I think I really learned in that season that I need him and that was probably a prideful thing that I always was like , no , I'm blessed and I want him and I'm happy that he's my husband and we're married . I don't need , he needs me , I need him , I do , I love it .

Speaker 2 23:31

But it was almost like a it's crazy it took that long and to go through that but just like a resting in that , like God put him here and I'm his helpmate , but like it's so peaceful there , like to just be like yep got me .

Speaker 2 23:53

I don't know that I ever felt so loved by you either , except through all that . Like every time , I was like babe , it's just getting to be so much . So much money , so much stress , so much pressure . It's so much , it's so much . And he's like every single time , without fail do it the way you want it , do it the way you want it , do it the way you want it .

Speaker 4 24:11

Do it the way you want it . Do it the way you want it . Do it the way you want it . That's awesome . What was going on inside of you ? To just be that voice for her ?

Speaker 3 24:16

um , just knowing how particular she is and making sure that she has it the way she wants it , because we've already fought this hard .

Speaker 4 24:22

So yeah , bring it over the finish line . Don't cut corners . No need to settle .

Speaker 1 24:27

Why stop now ?

Speaker 4 24:28

If we're in this war we're going to win it . I mean , let's go , I love it . So that was a few years ago . You've had plenty of time in there doing ministry , doing amazing things . I know Bethany loves going .

Speaker 1 24:42

You do a phenomenal job , it's my kids that actually got me to your salon , because Evie was like I want this tip to do . And you know , one of Dustin , our really good friends , like a couple , was doing my hair before and he was doing dust . He still does Dustin's hair and Asher's sometimes .

Speaker 1 25:03

And we let them pick and Evie was like I want to go . Yes , Evie was like I want this tip to cut my hair . So I was like , okay , I was like , yay , I get to hang out with Miss Tiff . And then Asher was ready for like a big boy haircut and ready to chop the curls and he was like I want to go to Miss .

Speaker 1 25:23

He said I want to look like dad . Yes , oh really , he was like I want to look like dad . So Tiff gave him his first big boy haircut and , yes , we look forward to every appointment .

Speaker 4 25:37

That's right , so oh go ahead .

Speaker 3 25:40

I was going to say that , if we're going to talk about all this anyway , the divine part really didn't come until the end and we really haven't touched on that .

Speaker 4 25:46

Okay .

Speaker 3 25:47

So we get through the process . Touched on that , okay , so we get through the process .

Speaker 2 25:52

We're at the very end .

Speaker 3 25:52

We pay as we go , you know as far as the builder goes . So , um , so we have a construction loan at this point , variable interest rate , behind you . Um , we're at the very end of it . He pulls the permits , closes the permits , never , does a final inspection so it can never be released to us , tells all the subs never to talk to us . So we're ultimately left with pretty much a fully funded building .

Speaker 2 26:20

No , that we can't use .

Speaker 3 26:23

Finished too , also Sorry . 90% finished .

Speaker 2 26:26

Yeah , we had to insulate the attic , build out your bathroom .

Speaker 3 26:28

Yeah , and he walked away from it . Yeah , we had to insulate the attic , build out your bathroom . Yeah , and he walked away from it , wow .

Speaker 2 26:34

Just like . I'm going to stick it to you , just to . So we were left with . I'm going to just make this real hard for y'all .

Speaker 3 26:39

Wow , and no one wants to come in at the end .

Speaker 2 26:41

Because you don't know what's behind the walls . They're like it's super fishy is probably the first thing most contractors think .

Speaker 4 26:48

Yeah . Good luck , guys have fun with this and because you can't pull the permits yourself , because it's commercial .

Speaker 3 26:56

Because it's commercial .

Speaker 4 26:57

I can't even schedule a final inspection . So then , what

Finding Strength Through Marriage

Speaker 4 27:00

did y'all do ?

Speaker 2 27:06

You're going to make me cry . Well , fortunately this wasn't our first thing . We've done building or doing or whatever . We've worked with some really great people and we've had some really great relationships with people and the Lord created me to love people and have good relationships with people . And so , through just experience of doing hair and I mean we pulled every string , we knew every person . We knew we knew contractors , we knew plumbers , we knew electricians and we found people who just we already . I mean they were busy . Some of them couldn't help . Some of them were like , well , this is sticky because we know this person and they work with that person and they'll never get work again , but they helped us find a different person .

Speaker 3 27:49

Ultimately , our neighbor is a retired commercial contractor who just happened to still have his license and happened to still have his insurance . Wow , everything divine .

Speaker 2 27:58

And he didn't even really , I would say , understand what was going on , but he knew our character enough to trust and just say like y'all , just fill out whatever paperwork and I'm here for you .

Speaker 4 28:10

Wow , that's awesome .

Speaker 2 28:11

He went with us to the inspection office to talk to the man in charge and just be like , hey , here's the whole situation and I'm here to to be here for these people , but it's really their project , you know .

Speaker 4 28:22

And but he was just there for you just there for us god orchestrated that relationship the neighbor to be there when this guy was just trying to , I mean , put y'all in a bond y'all couldn't get out of .

Speaker 2 28:33

And that's not the first time that neighbor had kind of seen something in us . He saw something in James and gave him another deal and really helped him out . Years before that he has a propensity to be kind to us .

Speaker 4 28:46

That's awesome . It's the favor of the Lord upon you guys in that manner . God just working it out so y'all could pull the permit and get it over the finish line , yep .

Speaker 3 28:54

And it's been downhill ever since . It's been great . So , no issues since then .

Speaker 4 28:59

But what a war and a battle to go through , huh .

Speaker 2 29:02

And his parents are , like I would say , are spiritual , covering mine for sure . And with him being gone so much , I mean she probably had an hour every night of just listening to me , let it out and just say why is he so horrible . And you know what are we going to do ? And every single conversation she didn't have answers , you know , but she would just reassure us . This is the enemy Press in . The Lord provided , just keep going .

Speaker 4 29:27

That's amazing .

Speaker 2 29:28

We're praying for y'all . We're praying for your marriage .

Speaker 3 29:31

Lost my job at the end of it too . Okay , the cherry on top .

Speaker 2 29:38

He's like hire whoever I'll help you with , like fund it , Like don't worry about it , and then oh , Like were you at least past the permit part when you lost your job ?

Speaker 5 29:53

no , oh , this was like a few months before we finished . Oh my goodness , this was the fall before he calls me one day .

Speaker 2 29:56

He's like I'm coming home and I'm like oh , the job ended soon , not exactly for me , for me , it did yeah I wasn't at the best place and we're at an impasse and it just .

Speaker 3 30:06

You know it wasn't the right time , but sometimes it's but looking back . So at that point I got to navigate the final issues here , be there get everything on track . Move her in .

Speaker 2 30:17

God's timing . Yes , I had been buying , you know , gigantic mirrors and chairs and things I can't move by myself and storing them in our garage anytime they go on sale . I'm like , well , I've been tracking it , I'd buy it on sale . He was home . We rented a U-Haul . We were sitting there going what would we do if you weren't home right now ? How would I have ever paid the man if he hadn't come home ?

Speaker 4 30:36

Yeah , Well , let me back up a little bit . When you lost your job , what was going through your mind ? Knowing that the project's going on ? You got like what before you made that phone call to Tiffany . Like what were you ?

Speaker 3 30:51

what you know , I don't know . Yeah , not nothing like terrible or bad , because we've always been pretty smart with money . I think Not crazy with it you know , and live well within our means and God's always provided and he's . I've always had his favor in my projects and working and it's never been an issue . So even with that at that point it was a lot . But it was also coming up in the industry . I've come up in it's very feast or famine and I've always been taken care of .

Speaker 4 31:26

God's always taken care of us . So you're in that season , you're just able to lean in .

Speaker 3 31:29

It's something I've been training for .

Speaker 2 31:31

at that point there was a little bit of a hard spell for you afterward , when things didn't pick up right away .

Speaker 3 31:36

Yeah , and that was hard .

Speaker 2 31:39

It was hard for me to watch you go through that . I didn't know . I mean , sometimes it would just be so heavy I'd want to get in the car and go for a drive just to get out of the house . And he'd be like where are you going ? Don't leave and I'm like , well , you're not happy with me here .

Speaker 2 31:50

I figure I might just evade for a minute and he's like no , stay . And I'm like okay , definitely . That was hard for me to watch you go through that and not know when it was going to end , not know when he was going to be back to his normal self .

Speaker 3 32:07

We went through that in the beginning of our marriage too , though yeah , we did Was that like searching for a job it wasn't the same .

Speaker 4 32:12

Was that like when you were trying to find work ? I ?

Speaker 3 32:14

don't think so , I don't know .

Speaker 4 32:16

Probably the right work is the thing . It was just low .

Speaker 3 32:21

So you have to imagine , in my industry I In my industry I was coming off of a very sought-after position , Very hard to come by and not remember people had it , and so then I had to go down and look a little bit and humbling , you know , but every step is , but every time God moves you down , he'll move you back up , because underwater welding or something amazing like that , yeah . But , but now I've moved into just operation services . Yeah .

Speaker 3 32:54

Something totally different . But , um , but I used to , you know , think of myself as the provider and as soon as we got married , I don't think I worked for eight months straight and I never had that . So I remember coming home just happy Like I'm , like I don't think I worked for eight months straight and I never had that .

Speaker 2 33:09

I remember coming home just happy . I'm like I can pay the bills , it's fine , I make enough to cover it . We don't have to have an extravagant life , it's fine , I'm just happy I'm married . And he's like I don't deserve this . I don't understand why God's doing this to me , because who's the provider ?

Speaker 1 33:28

God , because who's the provider ? God ? That's right . That's literally the conversation that we had . Was it yesterday or the day before ? The day before yesterday ?

Speaker 4 33:35

Because we came . I mean , if you fast forward , aside from the conversations we've been having the last couple of days , if you go back to 2015 , for us , god was calling us out of a season where we were making really good money for you know , 25 year olds , we were he was yeah .

Speaker 1 33:52

I was in middle management . You know what I mean . I mean like a corporate ladder , that's right .

Speaker 4 33:57

On the path , for you know , towards executive leadership in a few years . And , um , we were married two years at that point , but she was in PT school and so we were , you know , paying as we went and God called us into a season of moving to a job that was a commission .

Speaker 2 34:14

Only , um , and it was a partnership .

Speaker 4 34:16

It was entrepreneurial and I mean we took six months . That was a

Financial Struggles and Divine Provision

Speaker 4 34:20

six month period of us , you know , praying , seeking God's face , seeking wise counsel , and and there were like 10,000 reasons why we shouldn't do it . But we knew God told us to do it .

Speaker 1 34:30

And so we did , including people that we trust and we honor and we respect Even they , and they hear from the Lord . But even they were like is this wise ? Are you sure , are you hearing from the Lord ? And which would also like are we making the right decision ? For sure , but there was the church that we went to at that time .

Speaker 1 34:52

We were talking before service about how I just feel , like you know , we need to get out of the boat . It's like we're in that comfort place and the Lord is calling , just like he talked to his disciples like come out of the boat , come into that unknown With me , though he come out of the boat , come into that unknown With me , though he's out of the boat . And that Sunday we're at church . And the pastor wasn't even talking about that . That wasn't even his main message , but he went off on a tangent and said , kind of like , when Jesus told Peter , step out of the boat , it's time for you to like , take that step of faith and step out of the boat . We looked at each other and we're like oh my God . But that was peace . Yeah , there was .

Speaker 4 35:33

It was scary but we can look back on that season and know that God worked so much in I know my heart , but financially it was horrible .

Speaker 2 35:43

I mean , we lost everything but the house .

Speaker 1 35:45

And that's a miracle .

Speaker 4 35:47

I mean we lost everything but the house , and that's a miracle . I mean I had stock options . I mean just all kinds of stuff that we had to sell to survive for the next two years is what that season was a two-year season While I'm in PT school and we're paying tuition . Which we ended up having to take a loan .

Speaker 1 36:00

You know that kind of stuff , but the grace of God was still there the entire time . Like people would say hey , go to Walmart , I have a pickup order for you , and there'd be cleaning supplies like frozen food , you know , pantry food , all the things .

Speaker 1 36:20

And we love to eat out and but it was something we just had to give up , couldn't do , couldn't do . And almost every Sunday , a family and we did not tell people about our issues because we didn't want pity parties or you know , we're like the Lord will provide . And almost every Sunday someone would say hey , like y'all want to come eat out with us , and we're like no , no , no , it's like our treat , are you sure ? Like yes , like we're not taking , no , we're like okay , and like we're some poor , broke people eating out at nice restaurants every weekend .

Speaker 1 36:48

And it was just like the Lord was like . I got you . I know your heart , even though you can't afford anything right now , barely even your bills .

Speaker 4 36:56

That's right .

Speaker 2 36:57

That verse is just blaring in my head . Like I clothe the birds and the flowers , and how much more .

Speaker 5 37:04

Like I'm not doing that right , but like you know what I'm saying , it's just like God's .

Speaker 2 37:07

Like I get give good gifts to my children .

Speaker 4 37:09

Like it's a gift and I remember in that season he loves us . There were two instances in that season where , you know , we had barely any money in our checking account and we would be at the now , at this point we're commissioned only so , like you know , getting paid next week . There wasn't any of that where God told us to write a check for the last bit that was in our account two separate times . I forgot about that .

Speaker 1 37:34

Yeah , and I was like , I mean , at that point it was , it was comical .

Speaker 4 37:35

It's like , okay , yep , here you go . You know , I mean it's whatever $32 or nothing we can do about it . Anyway , okay , here you go , we'll be obedient , and every step of the way he provided . But what's interesting because you said that happened at the beginning and then it happened again after that season is whenever it almost seems like you go back , god brings you around a mountain five years , ten years later , whatever the number is , for us it's ten years later that you get in a similar situation and it can still be scary , still be unknown .

Speaker 4 38:07

Like Lord , I trust you . And I told her this week . I said babe , I feel like the guy that brought his child for God to deliver or Jesus to deliver him , and he's like do you believe ? And the man answers Lord , I believe . Help my unbelief . Yeah , exactly , I was like that's what it feels like sometimes and you know , like Lord , I remember that past season , but it's still scary . This season .

Speaker 3 38:31

Sometimes you need a refresher and I don't like it . I don't like being a refresher , I like to think . I remember .

Speaker 1 38:36

But if it doesn't get more real then he went to , was it in Alexandria , lake Charles ?

Speaker 4 38:42

Oh , Sulphur , Sulphur yeah .

Speaker 1 38:44

Thursday One of them places , but the first time he ever went to one of these .

Speaker 4 38:51

It's called Industry of Faith . It's a lunch that you just kind of people in the marketplace come together and a guy who runs the Industry of Faith Ministries . He gives a message Once a month . They do it in Lafayette every month , but I found out they also do it in Sulphur and Beaumont and Baton Rouge area and I have prospects for work in Sulphur . So I was like , well , let me go meet some Christian men and women that are in the marketplace going after God . And so I went for the first time last Thursday and the guy preached on Peter getting out of the boat and walking on water .

Speaker 3 39:26

And that's the exact thing , I sent her a screenshot and she was like oh , that's so exciting . I said this is scary , it's scary .

Speaker 1 39:32

Yes and yes , yes . But we're in a similar situation , like do we leave this comfort place of this job to take something else that seems , I mean , it's nothing really .

Speaker 4 39:49

And it might not even be our choice . It might not even be our choice , we're just seeking God .

Speaker 1 39:52

Yes , so , but just the fact that the exact scripture was like I've got you , I hear you , I trust you , I've carried you , then I will carry you now . Just trust me , step out of the boat .

Speaker 4 40:05

She's talking to me Step out of the boat . She's talking to me , by the way , step out of the boat , yeah , but yeah , yeah . So I feel you on that .

Speaker 3 40:13

The growth is always uncomfortable that's the way it is always with anything it's always uncomfortable , but it's always necessary that's right , so much good comes out of it , it's true , I don't want it to come that way .

Speaker 1 40:23

No , it does I just you saying that makes me think . When we lived in texas , um my husband , the master of ideas and side hustles , that's a good one .

Speaker 1 40:35

That's a good , that's a good thing sometimes maybe debatable we um , one of them was a t-shirt business but it was and it was great , but it was the name of the t-shirt company was broken and kind of like . We're all like broken vessels , you know what I mean . Um , but the idea of the business was workout attire and it was just like one word , like bold persevere persevere pure , loved whatever . Across the front and then the back was like a spine scripture reference to support .

Speaker 4 41:11

We were doing the spinal prints before . They were cool . This is true . This is true .

Speaker 1 41:16

We should have copyrighted it . But the whole idea about the broken was it's tough . It's hard , Like your muscles . They have to be broken to be able to be rebuilt and we don't like the process . It doesn't feel good but we like the effects afterwards .

Speaker 4 41:32

That's right and it's to remember in that season you know that . Hey , last time I was going through this I didn't enjoy it , but gotta lean in because look what's on the other side . You know god , he sees his promises are yes and amen yeah , so anyhow , anything else y'all want to add on that season ?

Speaker 3 41:50

that was a lot of it , so glad that part's over hey and now I don't mind the lot because it's small and I have to mow it so now you're appreciative he chooses to mow it nice I mowed it happily while he was away you weeded it .

Speaker 2 42:05

No , we hired a retired man to weed eat . Okay , and that was also nice that we got to help employ him .

Speaker 4 42:12

Yeah .

Speaker 2 42:12

A sweet man from church .

Speaker 4 42:14

That's awesome . Yeah Heck , yeah , weed eating is the worst part . Yeah , she was like I don't know . She was like , hey , I'll jump on the mower at the house .

Speaker 1 42:21

I'm like well , that's I was like you need Almo , we'll cut the time in half , yeah , I appreciate it , but it's kind of nice , that's what I said too .

Speaker 4 42:33

That's right . Well then , I guess we're ready to move on to the ABCs of the Elevation Room . So A is what advice would you give to your younger self ?

Speaker 3 42:43

Compound interest is real .

Speaker 4 42:45

I love it , it's so practical . The man is smart . Real , the man is smart , the man is smart . What about you , tiff ?

Speaker 2 42:54

I would say I feel like this is cliche , but I really mean it . Stop worrying about what everybody else thinks . Just do what you know you were created to do . I really feel like right now , everything that I do is what little kid Tiffany enjoyed doing oh , wow and it's such . It's a mature correlation , of course , but it's it's so fulfilling and everything in between was just a big mess . Just a big mess . Trying to be trying to compare and will they , and whatever , like , just really stop caring , whatever that usually happens later in life , though I think right .

Speaker 2 43:29

People stop caring I think so it's yeah , yeah if you listen to the 70 and 80 year olds at the coffee shop ?

Speaker 4 43:35

they don't they don't care at all no filter .

Speaker 1 43:39

Do what you want to do .

Speaker 2 43:40

Wear what you want to wear you do you yeah , and you know it's again . People say it's all cliche . You know you . You attract people who are like you and that's comfortable and nice and wonderful .

Speaker 3 43:51

Yeah , I would say it's easy to make friends when you're younger . I had a lot of friends , it didn't matter , you know .

Speaker 4 43:58

Yeah , that's something that I found that I always knew a lot of people but wasn't really good at maintaining friendships . You know , until I tried to be more intentional about it , maybe a few years ago . But yeah , I would just kind of go with the flow and the next thing , you know , it's like wait , I don't have any friends . What's going on ?

Speaker 4 44:20

Yeah , definitely a big part of being intentional about life and who you want to surround yourself with , Exactly exactly . So the B is books that have made the greatest impact books that made the greatest impact . Go first .

Speaker 3 44:37

Go ahead .

Speaker 2 44:39

The five love languages for marriage , for friends . Look for them in kids . I don't have kids , but there's a lot of kids in my life . I love a lot and I think I try to hone in on what their love language is and that proves to be good relationship-building material . And then good old Dave Ramsey . Anything about Dave Ramsey that's been beneficial for us .

Speaker 3 45:06

Yes , it has been very beneficial . That's awesome , even though the after part isn't very clear .

Speaker 2 45:12

Yeah , he should get more instruction on when you get to the seventh step , Like what to do then yeah , yeah , he's got .

Speaker 4 45:18

He's got a whole lot of books out there . Now he's turning them out . Yeah , I quit reading them yeah , there you go .

Speaker 3 45:23

It's a fantastic , fantastic foundation for your finances concept yeah , you want to take strain out of things right there with money .

Speaker 4 45:31

There you go yeah , there you go . That's one big chip off the table for sure . So what are y'all's love languages ?

Speaker 2 45:40

Yours is active service , steady Constantly .

Speaker 3 45:44

Yours is ever-changing .

Speaker 2 45:46

Well , I have found ,

Advice and Family Traditions

Speaker 2 45:50

but normally it's Quality time maintains the main one , and when I take the quiz there's usually a close second and it's whatever I'm deficient in .

Speaker 4 45:57

Oh , okay , that makes sense .

Speaker 3 45:59

I got a full-time job right there .

Speaker 2 46:01

I'm pretty clear about letting you know what it is .

Speaker 4 46:04

Well , that's good . At least you don't keep it bottled up . Did y'all go through the book together , or did y'all just kind of one of y'all do it and then share it with the other ?

Speaker 2 46:13

I read it and then we both did the quiz .

Speaker 3 46:15

The five love languages I've read it as well . I have Maybe more than once .

Speaker 2 46:20

I didn't know that . That's important Learn something new .

Speaker 1 46:23

I have not . I depend on him to tell me yeah , she does not read , so I have to translate whatever .

Speaker 4 46:29

I'm like , babe , this is really good . You should read this .

Speaker 1 46:36

She was like just give me the cliff notes , Built-in cliff notes , Audio books I'm getting better at audio books . My really good friend . She recently published books . She has two devotionals Plug for Carrie Riva De Niro , there you go . But she has two devotionals and she has a book prior to that and I am working my way through . I'm going to do it and I'm waiting for her to . One of them is on audio .

Speaker 1 47:02

But the others , I'm waiting , I'm trying , I'm trying . I'm not a quick processor , so I'm a slow reader , and then I'm also kind of ADD , so I'm like , what did I just read ? Because my brain goes here and it's not necessarily relaxing for me and I need to read my Bible , and so that's your capacity , that is my capacity .

Speaker 4 47:29

Praise the Lord , I'm working , we're all a work in progress , that's right .

Speaker 1 47:34

So I have not read the five love languages .

Speaker 4 47:36

But yeah , but mine's pretty clear , and so is yours , about acts of service , maybe quality time , quality time yeah . And then physical touch for me and words of affirmation . Yeah .

Speaker 4 47:49

So , and it was good for , like , when I read it , because it allowed me to put words to some of the feelings and , you know , maybe some of the things we hadn't been able to really talk clearly with one another about because just couldn't really put words to other than like your words hurt , cry me a river , you know , like it's always good when you have some perspective .

Speaker 3 48:07

That's right , that's right .

Speaker 2 48:10

I would also like to say having a great pastor is so valuable as a newlywed , because when we were newlyweds we had an amazing pastor who spoke only on Wednesday nights and the topic was always family and marriage .

Speaker 2 48:21

Oh , that's awesome , and so a lot of the books that I read in the beginning um , I almost want to say foolproof . I don't think that's totally applicable , but we got off to another great start , just like we did with money with Dave Ramsey from books that um got off to another great start . Just like we did with money with dave ramsey from books that um .

Speaker 3 48:36

Pastor david boda would recommend on wednesday nights . That's awesome . I think most of that just relates to putting effort into what you're doing , regardless of what it is for sure , what you put time and effort into will grow yep , very good point .

Speaker 4 48:50

So the last , c is uh , cherished family traditions is everyone always ?

Speaker 3 48:55

look at me ? For me , I think it's probably she doesn't . I don't really have very many traditions . I have a very small family . I would say our game night , which is really kind of new . It started during COVID , yeah , and it's just something that we do online . My family is probably five people , six people , I don't know .

Speaker 2 49:13

We lose them , they don't get replenished , but we get together and do a so we're eight people Eight your parents , and then you and your two siblings and the spouses Eight .

Speaker 3 49:24

All right , there you go , benjamin .

Speaker 2 49:27

Oh , it is growing . One nephew .

Speaker 3 49:30

So we do a game night and we don't really play games anymore . We used to play boggle online because family around the country and um , so it's just nice . We get on once a month and my mom kind of she'll do through like a zoom . Oh , that's pretty cool exactly your mom kind of spearheads it and make sure you're there and gotta love , hold you accountable .

Speaker 2 49:51

Yeah , gotta love mom for that his mom's mantra is all my babies in one place , and so zoom once a month is a way that can happen .

Speaker 2 49:59

That's sweet oh that's cool , intentional , you know exactly it's kind of cool too , because before covid we all live in different states . Well , now your mom's back in the same state as your sister , but at one point we were all in different states and I think the only time we were all together was at christmas . But then COVID Christmas , that didn't happen . And so while they're all family , they still are only really seeing each other about once a year , maybe twice , and then the spouses don't necessarily know each other that well , and I'll say in the beginning the game was needed , because there was not , I mean conversation wasn't free flowing and at some point little bits of conversation would start and somebody started saying , okay , what was everyone's dumpster fire , what was everyone's special ?

Speaker 2 50:40

so , like the worst and the best thing that happened since we met last , those things then created follow-up conversation . At some point the game wasn't needed and we just have we call it game nights too we still call it game that's awesome , though .

Speaker 4 50:52

I love that . What about you ?

Speaker 2 50:55

um , I started this thing with the children in my life who I love . Some are my cousins kids . We still call it game night . That's awesome , though I love that , what about you ? I started this thing with the children in my life who I love Some are my cousin's kids , some are my friend's kids and for birthdays , instead of giving a gift , I give a date , and so the goal is to say yes to everything that they ask for . So far , none of them have asked for something I can't give them , whether it's an experience or a gift , and have asked for something I can't give them . That's fun , whether it's an experience or a gift . Yeah , and it started as day dates , and then they learned they could ask to sleep over .

Speaker 4 51:20

And so now they're getting longer . Yes , yes .

Speaker 2 51:23

And that's really special . My cousin has six kids , and so the likelihood of any of them having one-on-one time with anyone is slim . And then , yeah , we just have a good time .

Speaker 4 51:36

That's awesome . I cherish it . Anything else you want to ask or add before we head out ? Awesome . Well , if anyone wants to reach out to y'all , connect with y'all . What's the best way to do so ? Just don't do it . Just don't do it .

Speaker 2 51:50

Introvert . Extrovert yes . The salon name is Le Coiffre , so it's L-E underscore .

Speaker 4 52:00

Coiffre Rowbridge .

Speaker 2 52:01

Okay , on .

Speaker 4 52:01

Instagram Awesome . Well , I know I've enjoyed the conversation . Thank y'all for being a part . Babe , have you enjoyed it ?

Speaker 1 52:08

Yes , awesome , love my people .

Speaker 4 52:09

That's right Well if y'all still with us . Thank y'all for listening all the way through the end . Remember , in everything you do , to stay rooted in your purpose , living on purpose and walking with purpose .