Ep 14: Identity, Surrender and Finding Your Why ft. Tim Miguez

What do you do when the thing you've poured your entire identity into is no longer where you're called to be? In this episode, I sit down with Timothy Miguez who is a husband, father, former basketball coach, and Louisiana native, for one of the most honest conversations yet about what it really means to let go. 

Tim shares the moment he told his wife Kennedy he was done coaching, the anxiety attacks he suffered in silence, and the raw, late-night conversations that led him to finally ask: who am I without the thing I've always done? Spoiler: Kennedy already knew the answer.

From grieving a coaching career he loved, to rediscovering his faith, rebuilding friendships, and stepping into a new season in sales, Tim's story is a masterclass in trusting God's timing over your own timeline. He also opens up about the books reshaping his thinking, the power of daily affirmations with his kids, and the family traditions (church and donuts, Chicken Sundays, and No Mercy UNO) that prove the best investment you'll ever make is the one happening right at your kitchen table. If you've ever felt the pressure to be more, do more, and prove more then this one is for you.

Faith. Family. Fulfillment. 

This is The Elevation Room.

Transcript

No matter what I was doing, it never felt good enough. I could always, when I was coaching, always watch more film, always spend more time in the gym with the guys, always be moving a needle somehow, and really lost the touch of like taking care of myself and those around me, right? I mean, to the point where like, I was suffering from anxiety attacks, like weekly, like out of commission. Hey, Tim, why are you crying? Like, I don't know, man, just let me get through this real quick, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - Just because I put, and it's like a mounting amount of pressure to your point earlier, like success, but like what does success really look like? - This is the Elevation Room, a space where we unpack life's hardest moments and the impact that they have on our faith, family, and fulfillment. I'm your host, Dustin Lao, and each episode we share real stories of resilience and breakthrough to inspire you to keep moving forward, rooted in your purpose, living on purpose, and walking with purpose. This journey we call life is not meant to be done alone. So click subscribe or the follow button now, settle in and join us as we go into the Elevation Room. Welcome back to the Elevation Room. I'm excited to be back in the chair with you today and with our guest, Timothy. I've been a while since we've been in here, so I'm excited to be back here. How are you doing, sir? - I'm doing well, brother, doing well. - In this early morning. - Early morning, yeah. - So when, was it Thursday you text me saying, like, hey, 7 AM, I gotta do perfect. And my wife looked at me and she said, you're crazy. I said, well, I wanna be home. Like, I don't wanna miss too much of the morning. You know what I mean? - That's right. - We got a birthday party, we're going bowling, we got a day, you know what I mean? - That's exactly right. Same thing with my wife. I say, hey, look, I'd rather get a Saturday morning in early that way, we've got the rest of the day with the family. - No, it's not like I'm not already up anyway. You know what I mean? - Exactly, exactly. So if you would, I mean, I'd love to hear, tell everyone listening, you know, who are you, your name, you married kids. - Yeah, man. So my name's Tim Miga, Tim of the Miga's. My wife, Kennedy and I, we just made 10 years together. - Congrats. - Now, 10 years, like, we'll be seven years married in June. - Okay. - But 10 years together, which I think, I'm 32, at least 30. So like a third of our life, building good things together, that's, can't beat that. - No, absolutely. - It's special, man. We got two kids, Bennett is five, he'll be six in April. Eloise is four, just turned four, they're 17 months apart. - Okay, yeah. - And man, probably enjoy. - Yeah. - Best of little friends. They were both up when I left this morning. I made them a bowl of cereal, they're watching Paw Patrol. Like, are you gonna work on a Saturday dad? It's like, well, kinda. - It's for fun. - It's for fun, but it's, you know, I won't be home for a little bit. So anyway, but yeah, man, so I'm from Crowley. Went to school there, moved to Lafayette for college without UL for five years. - Okay. (clears throat) - Met my wife there in my fifth year. Took me five years to get a general studies degree, but it worked out 'cause I met her, you know? - So you really went to school to find her. And you just kinda went to classes along the way looking for her. - I didn't go to a lot of classes, but yeah. Yeah, so you know how you hear of young ladies that go to school to get a-- - Husband. - A Mrs. degree, right? - Yes, that's right. - I went to get a Mr. degree, it didn't work, but I got a good wife out of it, you know what I mean? - There you go, there you go. - And then lived in Seattle for a year, after college, I had a Bible camp internship. - Okay. - And was kinda in a season of life and just trying to figure out what I wanted to do. - Okay. - So did that, and then-- - Bible camp internship, as in you were there working for a year as you were figuring things out, - Yeah, right. - Trying to see what's next. - They paid us a little bit a month, but we got free room, free food every day, so it was a cool experience. Just a year to be in good community and figure out what is life gonna look like from here on out, you know what I mean? So did that for a year, my wife and I, we were dating at the time. We'd been dating, I guess for like five or six months, we did a year of long distance. She moved to Orlando. - And he went to Seattle. - And I went to Seattle. - Wow. - You did the Disney College internship. - Yep. I remember sitting at those meetings in school. Oh, do I wanna do this, it sounds so fun. - Well man, it was crazy, 'cause we started dating and I graduated, and kinda she was telling me a little bit about it, she was like, "Hey, I'm thinking about this." I was like, "Yeah, you should do it." And she was like, "Well, we're getting serious, right?" I was like, "Yeah, but do it." And so it worked out well, man. We did that for a year, we moved back home, got engaged, got married, had babies quick, you know what I mean? - That's awesome. - So no complaints on that. - Yeah, quick, how long were you all married? - A night. - A night. (laughs) - She might not appreciate me saying that, but yeah, I mean, I'm pretty sure it happened on the honeymoon. We went on a honeymoon a month after we got married, so we got married in June, had the baby in April, so do the math, you know what I mean? - For sure, for sure. Yeah, that's something, we were married five years, but my wife was still going through PT school. - Yeah. - You know, when we got married, she was in college for her undergrad. She just finished, it was a big week for her, 'cause it was her last ballet performance as a principal ballerina at Lafayette Ballet Theater. - Oh, that's awesome. - Finals week and our wedding, pretty much all within a week's time, and then after we married, I was living in Houston, so. - Right. - She made the move also, leaving everything she knew to Houston, so. - Yeah. - And then that time, she was applying for PT schools and all that kind of good stuff, so we waited five years. - Yeah. - 'Til we had our first one. - Oh, look, man, it's gonna happen when it's supposed to happen, you know what I mean? It's not up to us, you know? - That's right, that's right. So it sounds like y'all had a great journey together, you know, jumped into the kid scene quickly. - Very quickly. - Has everything been all peachy since then? Have you ever run into a challenge or two? - Well, I mean, I think we've all had a few challenges. Man, I think so again, so like, I guess continuing that, I was a teacher and a coach, so I heard, I got injured in high school playing sports. I heard my back couldn't play anymore, so I started coaching middle school basketball when I was a junior in high school. - Okay, all right. - My dad was a middle school coach in Crowley, where I'm from. I got to go and coach with him. I was also, I worked as a student assistant for the university here on the basketball team. - Okay, so it was always basketball? - I coached high school football for four years, but at basketball was my first one. - Okay, all right, all right. - I did that when I was in Seattle. I coached out there, came home, got a job teaching and coaching, started coaching. - Now, was that what you felt like, hey, when you spend that year in Seattle, I was like, hey, you know, coaching is where I need to be, or was it more of, this is what I can do. I move back, let me do this while I'm still figuring it out. - No, no, it was hands down, coaching basketball. I wanted to, I had really good coaches. My dad was my first coach, coached me all the way into high school, in every sport that I did, whether he knew it or not, he figured it out, just 'cause he wanted to be with us in the battle with us. - Yeah, cool. - But yeah, there was never any doubt that it was coaching, just what does that look like, you know what I mean? And how to just kind of use those gifts to make sure I'm doing it the right way, and where do I want to do it, anyway. See, I got a job teaching and coaching, was just prepared to live that life. I did it for five years at the high school level. - Okay. - That got opportunity too. They opened up a small Christian college in my hometown, back in Crowley. Was a risk, it was a great opportunity for me. I was a head basketball coach, I thought I'd direct their college teacher for two years. - Was that, what, Northside or? - This is called John Melvin University. Small school, they relocated to Florida. - Okay. - But for some reason they put it in Crowley. I was one of the people they reached out to. And again, I knew it was a risk, I knew it was not a traditional path, a startup. - Because it was a small, like, relocation. - Yeah, man, it was a weird, a weird, I guess it was a weird situation, it was the easiest way to put it, but it kind of taught me a little bit, back to like that year in Seattle, trying to figure out who am I, what I want to do, how I want to use these gifts. I think those two years were like the, I guess like the culmination of that, just the opportunity to really put myself into a challenging, when you're a high school coach, there's obviously lots of challenges, but there's really only, you go to class, you go to practice, you do games, and you kind of just go through that. And then you go, you spend the challenging times, being with the kids, trying to help them grow, all that. Well, this was, there was no blueprint to starting an athletic department, you know what I mean? - Gotcha. - Having a higher coaches, having higher staff, having to figure out, in startup school, they didn't have their own facilities, but the real challenge came whenever I came home one night, and I told my wife, I was like, "Hey, I don't think I want to do this anymore." And I'm expecting this reaction of like, "What are you talking about? You're just tired, you're just hungry, you need to go to sleep." You know what I mean? - Yeah. - And she was like, "Yeah, I know." Kind of looked at her like, "What do you mean you know?" And she said, "Yeah, like it's just, you can tell you're not in it, like you've been in it before." - Oh wow. - And so man, like, cried. Like, the emotions that you're expecting this, you get this, and we really talked before we started this, like, when you marry a good woman, like, you get surprised daily, but you're more surprised at why you're so, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - And dude, we didn't have, again, I'm being a high school teacher and coach, you don't make a lot of money. We were still very young, I mean, I was 30 when this happened. We had two kids, and she was like, "Yeah, just quit, season's over, just quit." But baby, we got like three months of runway. She was like, "Yeah, we'll be fine." Like, it will be provided. And dude, the past, so that was like two years ago now. Past two years have been crazy. And so, you know, there was a big, like, grieving period, a mourning period of like, all I've ever known is being a basketball coach. From playing, like, growing up, playing ball to coaching, to being a part of so many programs. I mean, like, I did an NBA internship when I was in college. I got to coaching Europe three summers ago. Like, I've had some really cool experiences from this game that I love since I was a kid, and I'm like, "I'm not going to be moving into... this isn't going to be a part of my identity anymore." You don't realize how much something like that becomes your identity, you know what I mean? Now, how did you arrive at that point, you know, where you got to the point to have that conversation with Kennedy of, you know, "Hey, I don't think I can do this anymore." I think I was just... That's a good question, man. I think it just kind of... I knew I wasn't in it anymore. I'm a big believer. Like, if I don't do it the right way, I'm going to be doing something. And during that last year, I was missing time with the kids, and I enjoyed being a dad. It's my favorite thing in the world, you know? Very, very blessed to have great kids, and I was going a week or so at a time without seeing them, you know, because, I mean, as a coach at a small school, you're driving the bus, you're making the sandwiches, you're doing the fundraising, you're doing all the logistics, and then you're trying to coach basketball, and then you're trying to also take care of the other coaches because you're the AD, and then you get home at 10, you're back at the gym at 5, and you're like, "Oh, I kind of forgot to be a dad and husband today. Like, there's no way I can serve you if I'm not here to serve you." Right. Just hours weren't making sense. And even when I was home, it was... I might be present, but I wasn't present, you know what I mean? And I didn't want to do it anymore, and it kind of just happened quickly, man. Like, I kind of just realized one day that I wasn't doing it the right way, I wasn't enjoying it, my heart wasn't in it. And for the kids, for my players, I'm just not doing them a service anymore, you know? So that conversation just kind of happened... I mean, almost embarrassing to say, but just like it was an emotional reaction is something I didn't realize I was feeling for a long time. You know what I mean? Yeah. And so I told her, "I don't know what I want to do. I don't know who I am without basketball." Again, I'd never... Wow. I guess 2024 was the first year of my entire life. It's the third grade that I wasn't on a basketball team in some capacity, which doesn't sound that crazy, but when that's all that you ever know, you're not realizing that that's what my identity is being built on and through. That's a change. It's a challenge. No kidding. But it's been good since, brother, I really have. Yeah. So you said you went through a grieving process. Yeah. Coming to the realization, "Hey, I don't want to do this, Kennedy. It's surprising." You're like, "Yeah, I know this fine. We'll be all right." But we say that now, and I know you say that now. It's easier to say, but in the moment, I'm sure it was much more difficult to wrestle through that as to, "Hey, who am I? What's next?" What were some of those conversations as y'all were navigating the next steps and how to untangle where you were, with who you were, with what y'all were doing next? Yeah. There was a lot of uncomfortable realizations about myself. Again, coming back to the point of like, I found too much value in, I am a basketball coach. I am coached to him, whatever, you know, realizing like that's not where we should be spending time. I don't want to say not where we should be spending. At that point in our life, having young kids, still being young and married, you know, there are more important things to keep this family together than taking care of other people's kids. Which is a vocation and a service and something that's very important. And we're like, I said, very lucky that I had good coaches growing up who truly cared about me and my development personally, not just as an athlete. But at this time in our life, it just didn't make sense anymore. So like I said, there's a lot of raw conversations staying up till two and three in the morning of, kind of like, "Man, we did everything. "We did like a little career test. "Like this is what you enjoy doing." Which, 'cause again, I had never done, I worked a lot of odd jobs in college. I was, I drove buses. That's at the university. I was a furniture deliverer. I worked at a shoe store. I worked at an academy. I worked at Taco Bell. I would work any job possible. - Yeah, whatever you did. - And make sure I could pay the bills to coach, right? But I never had a real job, which is crazy to say. Like teaching and coaching is a real job. But I never had anything outside of education, I guess. - I'm proud of that, yeah. - So just figuring out like where the skills that I've accumulated, the things I enjoy doing, what does that look like? You know what I mean? And a lot of conversations too of like, what's gonna give you joy? Like a job might not ever give you joy again, like coaching basketball did, but what can we, where's that give and take of, paying our bills, while enjoying what you do, not losing to you or in that, you know? And a lot of prayer, dude. I mean, my wife and I, we met in young life in college. She did it all through high school, through college. I did it in my last year of college. Bet her on the first trip that I went on with young life. And we've been in separable sense, you know? - Yeah. - And so kind of realizing that we kind of strayed away from that. We didn't pray as much as we used to. We weren't going to church as much as we used to. We weren't still believed in it, still quote unquote lived it out, but not the way that we should have been. You know what I mean? And so kind of re-identifying where do we want our life to look like? How do we want our kids to be raised? And can we raise them like that with you on the amount of time that you are? And so just a lot of, like I said, raw, honest conversations and realizations for both of us. And again, like you said it too, like I came home thinking she would be surprised and she was like, yeah dude, like welcome. Glad you realized. - Glad you joined the party. - I've been knowing that you weren't happy, but I was waiting for you to come to that realization because if I had said it, you would just come back. - Yeah. - You know? - Yeah. - So yeah, man. - I get that, you know, and I think about sometimes you look at different people, you know, different levels of what we would call success or, you know, perceived success, but you look at the fruit of their lives, you know, and it all varies. And I've come to terms, at least for me personally too, with, you know, seven year old, a five year old, you know, two year old of, hey, there are some things that we can absolutely sacrifice for and sacrifice doing, but the kids isn't one of them. - Agreed. - You know, and so I look at some individuals that I know are, you know, close circles to, you know, say, okay, they've attained this level of success, but they have no relationship with their kids. Okay, I don't want to imitate that. I see this person, they've attained a certain level of success, but their kids enjoy being around them, want to be with them, they've got a great family. Okay, what are they doing? And how did, not what are they doing now? Because it looks different if your kids are grown and out the house. - Of course. - What were you doing when your kids were five years old? - Yeah, 'cause I mean, that starts early. - You know? - That's right. - So, and I've noticed that it's, if I want, like I said, I'm not short on ambition, but those ambitious things have got to come early in the morning or late at night when the kids are sleeping. - Of course. - You know what I mean? And, you know, my wife also is very good at, you know, if there's a work function in the evening, I totally get it, an occasional work trip, totally get it, but she makes sure to hold me accountable if, hey, I need to go do this, and it's, you know, after five o'clock or whatever. If that happens more and more, if I'm just in the office, 'cause I need to go get something done or chase after something. Okay, hold on a second, what's important, you know? And, you know, and I do the same with her. It just, it looks a little bit different since she, you know, is a physical therapist. She can go to work and when she comes home, you know, she's home. So, it's a little bit different, but I think there's dynamics of, hey, what's important to you at this stage in life of where the kids are is something that can be easily overlooked, you know? And I understand from anyone's perspective of, hey, I'm doing this for the family. I say that regularly, but then the realization of, it's a Saturday and in my mind, I used to have a challenge with this regularly where we're doing something with the kids on Saturday, but in my mind, I'm somewhere else, like, oh, I could be doing this or I should be working on this or I need to get this done. - I respond to this person that I set this up, yeah. - That's exactly right. You know, 'cause we do real estate investments and so, you know, that's outside of a W-2 job. And so I already have to do that outside of those hours. So like Saturday, I'm like, oh, I need to really catch up on this or I need to get this stuff done for taxes or whatever the case may be. And again, that's fine on occasion, but if it becomes a habit, that's where it really becomes an issue. And then you lose that connection with the kids just 'cause you're simply not there. - One of the things is too, I had a, so a guy that I've coached with, and I love to make fun of him, he's an older guy, I think he's early 60s. Whenever I started coaching, he'd again, I've been coaching longer than you've been alive. And he used to always call me a pup. And he used to make me mad. I thought he was kind of being, not mean, but just a little too sarcastic for what I like in the end of me. He was no, Tim, like you just, like you, you're too hard on yourself. Like, you're doing a good job. You've created this family that wants you home. So why aren't you home? - There was a lot of guys out there whose family's like, finally, that went to work. Like he thought that was like, I don't want that dude. Like, again, this morning, my kids were watching Paw Patrol. I made them cereal. They're like, what, you're, you're leaving? - All right. - I'll be back. I'm coming back quicker than usual. They don't understand that they're five or four. But like, to your point, that idea of like, you create the family that you want. Because like my little boy is only gonna be five for so long. He's only gonna let me hold him for so long. I fell asleep on the couch with my little girl. One of my best friends was over eating dinner with me and my wife. Where her and I are sitting with my little girl sitting right here. My wife's sitting there and my buddy's sitting here. Fell asleep. Me and my daughter both fell asleep hanging out with a friend because like, that's just, it's cozy. It's calm. It's boring. And so how long is she gonna want to fall asleep on dad's test? You know what I mean? Like, so you can't not be there when there's opportunity. Then again, like, may not seem like a big deal to anyone who's not a dad. They may not understand that with a little girl. My little boy at six o'clock when he woke up this morning, he's like, "Hey, dad, can we go "through the football outside?" - Yeah. - I think we're like, we can, but I don't think you'll be able to see it. So like, those things of you here guys who have created these huge successful businesses, done very well in life, like to your point of like, whether it's like real estate investments, building their own business or just providing for their family in that sense, which is a sacrifice in a way that I just realized I'm not, I don't wanna say not willing to make, not willing to lose my family for the sense of extra dollars. Obviously we have bills to pay. We have things that we wanna do in life, but my little boy, little girl, I'm gonna be five and four for so long and only wanna hang out with dad at six in the morning for so long. And just kind of to that point of like coaching, I realized and I get my friend Rocky, he's a baseball coach. My one of my biggest prayers in the past four years of knowing Rocky is like, I wanted the discernment that Rocky has. He has a way of just like seeing things clearly that it's been unmatched to my life, to be honest. And he's one of those people who I can call at 11, 13 at night, you know, one of those nights, you understand, or you're sitting there like, how are we gonna make this happen? How am I gonna do this? How am I gonna provide here, do this, and still be home? And he's like, well, you're thinking about it the wrong way, dude, go get some rest, you'll probably feel better in the morning and you'll be able to clearly think and he always has the right verse to bring up at the right time, always has the right thought, always has the, hey, man, quit being so hard on yourself. And it's one of those things that I've tried to take into like working now, working in sales of like, you know, being here in sales, dude, there's always something we could be doing to moving a potential deal for this client or the company. - Yep. - To the point of like, you kind of forget sometimes, like, oh, I do have to turn it off at some point. I do have to be home, present in my presence kind of thing. But it is hard, especially because we're both young guys, like trying to, I don't wanna work 'til I'm 80. I wanna make sure that we're putting things away and doing things we're supposed to do, but also giving the kids the life that we might not have had growing up. And opportunities we might not have had. It's a challenge sometimes. - Oh yeah, I mean, that's the journey. That's the growth, the uncomfortableness, if you will. So let me get back a little bit. As y'all were navigating that, praying through it, how'd you end up in sales? You know, you just mentioned that, how'd y'all decide to make that step and that was the right direction that y'all wanted to go? - So, I was very blessed. I was working two part-time jobs while we were trying to figure out what we're gonna do. - What part of town are y'all in? Are y'all in the lab yet? - We live in Doosal. - Yeah, so we bought a house there. We bought a house in April of '19, married in June of '19, pregnant in July of '19, had our little boy April of 2020 in the midst of COVID and all that crazy things. So we've been in Doosal going on almost seven years now. So I got two part-time jobs. I gotta go to church with, own a mechanic shop. He needed like a front desk worker, five hours a day, whatever, like, cool, we got it. And then I worked at, train unique with Damon Vincent part-time, running a, they trained, dude, if you haven't had Damon on here. - Damon Vincent, it sounds so familiar. - Damon is, I think Damon's in Sweden right now. - Okay. - Playing on a conference for adaptive athletes. - Okay. - So they trained the special need population of athletes. - Really? - Dude, it's the coolest, the coolest space I've ever been in. - Is he in like martial arts world at all? - Yeah, so he's a pretty sure, Damon's a black belt in Jujutsu. - Okay, that might be where I know him. - From Iron at Head Kicks. - Yeah, that makes sense. - That's probably why I know his name. - So yeah, train unique sits in the gladiator gym. They share that space. - I know he talking about now. - Yeah, Damon would be a guy to have on here. I got you bro. - Yeah, I love you. - Yeah, appreciate it, Damon, you coming next. - Well, I mean, Aaron's on here, it just makes sense, yeah. And very blessed that, you know, I reached out to him, like kind of explaining some of the things that I've been trying to do when I was coaching. And I mean, I think it was maybe three or four classes a week, but there was a couple of dollars in my pocket at the time that I was still trying to figure out what I wanted to do. And then, man, there's a guy who owns an insurance agency near my house that I met when I was coaching. He had sponsored a few events and kind of called him one day and said, "Look, man, I don't know what I want to do, "but I need a job." He said, "Yeah, come on over, we'll talk." That was him for an hour or two. Next day, he started selling insurance and realized that like, the skills, again, back to that point, the skills I created coaching, building relationships with people, maintaining those relationships, it just kind of made sense. - What kind of insurance? Just 'cause I'm in that world. - PNC, man. - Okay, yeah, yeah. - PNC and then a little bit of life insurance. - Okay. - But, uh... - Very cool. - I was not creative. Just sitting in an office eight to five. That was the only thing. Dude, I loved working for him. Like, the team he had was fantastic. It just, it wasn't for me long term. I said, "I was happy there," but then I got an opportunity. I worked at S1. And now I was here in town with Hunter, Davis. - How'd that come about? - I remember how it actually came about, man. I think I resed out to Hunter and LinkedIn one day. Just to like connect. And he asked me to come in and sit down with them. And I mean, they're good people, man. They have a good machine that they're running over there. They treat people the right way. But then I actually just started a new job. Just finished up week three. Still in an educational technology project that I used when I was in the classroom. Get to work from home, hang out with my wife. We lunch together every day the past three weeks. Like, that's again, kind of that idea of, I get to work, but I also get to be home and do things throughout the day that sets the family up a little bit better. - And what does Kennedy do for work? - Kennedy works for, she's been a remote mayor for four years. She works for a baby gear company. - Oh, okay. - Called Mockingbird. So like strollers and baths and naps. - Oh yeah, with no about Mockingbird. - So we were customers first. And then she was running a nonprofit at one point. And kind of just wanted to get a different kind of job. And she applied, she beat out like a ton of people. The company's fantastic. They treat her so well. She's never once thought about leaving them because they have such a good team dynamic. - Oh, that's cool. - They take care of each other. So she's done that, like I said, coming on four years. I don't know how much she loves me working from home. - Okay, yeah, I was gonna ask, how's that dynamic? You know, 'cause from a family perspective, I know at times it's hard for me to work from home, even though that's mostly where I work from. But we just moved into a new home. The previous home, I didn't have an office. So my desk was in the bedroom, which, you know, everyone's around, you know, in and out. And so now at the new house, we've got an office set up, which, you know, so Monday I'll get to, for the first time, kind of start seeing what it's like in the office. Last night, Bethany was asking me, so are you actually gonna get to like be home more? You know, I said, I think so. I don't see any other reason. You know, I said, I'm sure I've got a case with-- - I've got a case now, yeah. - Yeah, occasionally I'll probably go to a coffee shop just to go, but I mean, now with the space, there should be able to be home more, which she's home three days a week with the kids. So to be, you know, lunches together, a little bit more advantageous like that. But sometimes, you know, if two people are working from home, I mean, it could be awesome or it could not be awesome also. - I mean, so we've only done it for three weeks. So, you know, the testing pool, the very small. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. - I do think that my wife probably enjoyed her alone time just because it's what she got used to and stuff. But so far it's been good. We've done a pretty good job of like, hey, I've got this meeting, do you mind going to the other room or do I need to go in the other room? And man, it's just one of those things, it's communication, you know what I mean? - And are y'all kids in school or do y'all keep them at home? - Our kids go to school here, they're in the Friends Immersion Program in Lafayette, Paris. Kindred, Arnaud and Pre-K. - Yeah, okay, so yeah, they go off to school and then y'all are home to work. - Those are just two of us at home until about four in the afternoon. I said, so far, so far it's been good. So far we've been able to keep the peace, you know what I mean? - Yeah, I mean, that's a blessing. - It is, man, it is. Like I said, the opportunity to yesterday morning, I could tell that she was hungry, I made her a bagel. Like, small, but again, it's a small active service that I'm now able to provide. Whereas used to is like, hey, sorry, we have an eight o'clock meeting, I'm gonna have to leave at six 30, you can make sure I'm set up. So you're gonna get the kids ready by yourself. You're also gonna bring them to school and you're probably gonna have to pick them up because we're gonna have to do this this afternoon. Which again, is one of those reasons why I got out of coaching was to be more present. And just because nature is a beast, to get to the point of not being able to be as home as much as I wanted, like you said, there's always an after work event and being in sales. Like you never wanna miss the opportunity to meet the right person and make something happen. So far, three weeks in home every day, there's still some after work activities just because I enjoy the community involvement side of it. - Of course. - But so far, it's been kind of a joy. - The community involvement that we have at Acadiana, a lot of times leads to different family events as well where the kids can be involved and our spouses. - I think, and that's one thing we take a lot of pride in. So we bring our kids, whatever room we're in, if you're inviting me, then you're inviting my family as well. Awesome. It's just, it's a non-negotiable at this point. I bring my little boy to UL, we're going to the UL basketball game today. - That's something we started to interrupt. That's something Beth and I have talked about. We need to go to more UL sporting events. Buy more, I mean, any, because we do not participate in any, like, why not? You know, go to more LSU things, like that's my alma mater, but for the kids, it's so easy just to go down the street. And I was like, why aren't we doing this? - We haven't been to a football game yet, but again, like basketball being my love, I think Bennett, my little boy, has come to probably four or five games to share with me. And he loves it. Now, he also loves the fact that he gets like popcorn and nachos and a candy and a Powerade, you know, but again, it's just one of those things, man, that we try really hard to make sure that the kids are included to see what life looks like. And you know, they're still young, but I think it's important for them to see that, like it's not just what can you do for me? What can I do for you? What can I do for our community? How can we lend that helping hand? Whatever that may look like, we're really big on making sure they understand that like we have to, we are stewards of the time and resources and blessings that we've been given, but they're not ours to keep. We have to pay those forward. You know what I mean? - Absolutely, I agree. - Well, man, I appreciate you sharing all that with us. I'd like to move us into the ABCs of the Elevation Room. - All right. - You know, I first like to start with advice for your younger self, you know, going through where you're at now, you know, obviously the coaching journey, making the move to sales, what's some advice you would give to either your younger self or people in similar situations as you were in. - Man, one thing that I struggled with, I say I struggled, something I still struggle with, is putting unnecessary pressure on everything that I did. Like no matter what I was doing, it never felt good enough. I could always, when I was coaching, always watch more film, always spend more time in the gym with the guys, always be moving a needle somehow, and really lost the touch of like taking care of myself and those around me, right? I mean, to the point where like I was suffering from anxiety attacks, like weekly, like out of commission. Hey, Tim, why are you crying? Like I don't know, man, just let me get through this real quick, you know what I mean? Just because I put, and it's like a mounting amount of pressure to your point earlier, like success. But like what does success really look like? And it's one of those things, I gave my friend Rocky, one day he told me like, Tim, what works for you doesn't work for me. And I was like, well, yeah, Rocky, you're 30 something years older. And he's like, no, no, no, like, you know, like you, young guy, one of your friends, it's like you and I are sitting right here. So, you know, the way that you read and learn, the way you do it may not be right for me. The way that you cook your food may not be the way I cook. There's so many different examples there, but like the one truth that is like true throughout the, the board is like the Bible and the truth of the word, right? That's what he said, like you're worried about all the wrong things. He's like, when's the last time you like took a minute to actually sit down and read? I was like, well, listen to, like, no, no, no, when were you intentional about sitting here and like taking care of yourself and relieving some of that pressure? When was the last time you were able to sit down and not think about what are you doing for work? And so like, I'm back to that point of like, nothing is as serious as you think that it is. Like nobody cares what you were doing in the sense of like, no one, when you're in the gym, nobody's looking at you doing your work out, right? No one's worried about what you're doing. So quit worrying about all of that. Just do what you think is the next best step and just continue putting one foot in front of the other. Yeah, so going back, I wish that I would have not been so stressed and worried and took a little bit better care of myself and those around me, you know? 'Cause I spent the past two or three years since leaving coaching, kind of mending friendships that like, I mean, one of my best friends, we didn't talk and for no reason except that he would call, like, "Hey man, I'd love to talk, "but I'm walking into the gym, "we're gonna watch this kid play. "I have a training session later to make a few extra dollars." And I got to the point where I didn't see him for like two years. My son's godfather and like, we just didn't get to talk. Hold on. So it's like this idea, and not that they're, from his perspective, there was nothing that needed to be mended. He knew that I was trying to do something, but it's just that idea of like, we used to spend real life together and I haven't seen you in two years. Like, that's a shame, you know what I mean? But again, from that pressure I was putting on myself and this idea of like, I've got to do this, this and this, when really it's not ours to do that with. You know? So yeah, I guess that's the advice. It's like, don't take yourself too serious. Don't put that kind of pressure on yourself. Everything's gonna work out the way it's supposed to. - Yeah, and I guess that goes back into what you were mentioning about your identity being wrapped up in coaching as well. I'm sure, you know, incorrect to me if I'm wrong, but I know this is who I am, this is what I'm doing. I've heard a lot of, you know, whatever self-help and you know, people that coach people of like, oh, don't say you're, like when I was doing Ironman, trading for an Ironman, said don't say you're trading for an Ironman, say you are an Ironman, you are a triathlete, whatever. You are, you know, an athlete, you are healthy. Whatever the thing you're working to do, like, hey, if you're wanting to learn to play basketball, say, no, I am a basketball player. Some of these, you know, linguistic things, but all wrapped around changing your dialogue to match up with the identity you're trying to grow into, versus, you know, again, what does success look like and what are we striving to? Like, I am a husband, I am a father, and yeah, I do these things, but this is who I am. - Well, and one of the things I'm big on is like, those titles that we wear, husband, father, brother, son, friend, professional, they're all synonymous, man. Like if we're failing, if I'm not there for my family and do what I'm supposed to do, I'm probably failing in other aspects of life as well. Because whenever we're like, to your point of like, we are professionals and we care about our job, but if we care too much, like those buckets, right? This bucket is full, what's taken out of one of the other ones and I'm not providing where I need to provide. One of the things my dad told me, whenever I was, I called him, 'cause my dad's been an educator, and my mom, dad, and stepmom are all educators. My little brother is in his first year of teaching right now. I get out, he gets in, kind of thing, you know? And then when I called my dad and I told him like, "Hey, Papa, I think I'm, I keep sitting away from the mic, I'm sorry." - Oh, that's all good. - So Papa, I think I'm putting in teaching and coaching. He's like, "Really? Why?" I was like, "Well, you know, I kind of started going through that." He goes, "What's like, and then kind of the thing that I told you earlier." He's like, "Well, that's not a why, Timothy." Like, "What are you talking about?" Like, "Well, dad, now I don't understand what you're talking about." He goes, "You have to figure out what your why is in life." And he kind of looks like that. And he's like, "We're not on the same page here. Can you like help a dummy out? Like, what are you talking about, dude?" You know? He said like, "Nothing in here is black and white. Like, you're thinking that since A happened, B now must happen. And that's not how it works. You're like, "It's all great decisions. You make a decision and you make that the best decision. So like, if you're wise, because you want to be home with more with the family and you want to be more present when you are home, then just get a job that allows you to do that. That may not be, like the job itself may not be super important, but if it provides, you can pay your bills and you can be home, then you just make that the best decision until the next best thing comes along." - Yeah. - It's just that advice. - It's simple, right? It's one of the things you're like, "Well, yeah, of course I already knew that." But the way you said it, you know, something about that old man wisdom. - Oh yeah, oh yeah. - Yes, I like that. Hey, look, every decision is a great decision. Make it the best decision. - You just have to make it that. That's the thing. And it's one of those things that like, where do you put your energy into kind of thing? You know? And so all of that, I guess kind of encompasses that advice. You're like, "Don't take it too serious." The decisions you make just make them the right decision. If you don't want to do this anymore and you want to do this instead, just make that the right thing for you until it's not. And you find the next thing that is going to work for you and your family and where you are in life. Like to that different season of life, I guess. - Yeah, that's awesome. - Yeah man. - Good advice there. - Hope so. - Yeah, absolutely. - It's worked so far. - Yeah, man. - You know what I mean? - Yeah, I love it. So this one I'm excited about, because you are an avid reader. - I am. - Books that have made the greatest impact on your life. - And set for everyone the stage of, how many books you read, how much you enjoy reading all that kind of stuff. - I'm a nerd. My wife and I, we, so we cleaned out the garage earlier a couple weeks ago and had like five or six or seven big plastic totes of books. And we donate books all the time. But it's like, these are books like, I don't want to get rid of this. Like Bennett might want to read this one day. And you know, so like probably hold on to too many of them. That's like the only thing we really hoard. - So I take from that you're a physical book reader, not so much a Kindle. - My wife and I, we share a Kindle. I've used it. I can't do audio books. I actually just finished my first, I've done two audio books ever. Green Lights by Matthew McConaughey, because like he narrates it. So like easy to listen to. And then I just finished one about a week ago. I was out with him the devil. - Oh yeah. - Napoleon Hill. - I read that one. - Oh man, scary, heavy. - I can't imagine the audio version of that one. - But it's the way they narrate it. I mean, they set it up as the interview and like it is. - Two different voices. - Two different voices. And you can tell which one is which. You know what I mean? I don't want to give any spoilers, but I turned it on. I was out on a walk early morning, turned it on. And I was like, ooh, I'm not ready for this yet. It's too early and I had coffee yet. I'm not ready to battle this one yet. But it's one of those things, man. I kind of pushed it in. I'm just not an audio book guy. I wish I was because I understand why people, I just, I love a book dude. Like I said, my parents being educators, I just grew up, dude, my mom was reading Harry Potter to me when I was like first and second grade. Playing in bed, holding the book. It's tough to beat it, man. - Yeah, I got you. Yeah, 'cause I'm driving, I'll do podcasts all day. So I can really tear through some audio books if I want, but I'm like you, I just absolutely prefer a physical copy of a book. - Well, and dude, I mean, this doesn't sound so cheesy and I'll probably get made fun of for this one by the wife, but like, especially if we buy a lot of used books. - Okay. - And so like, you know, some people might have written in them, you can just tell that it's been held and it's worn and weather and stuff. So like, it's just cool, man. Like other people have enjoyed this. Now I get to enjoy the same story. Pass it on to somebody else. I'm really big on like sharing books. Like I've got my own personal library. There's a handful of books that I would expect back if I loaned them out, but there's also a bunch of books that I just buy multiple copies 'cause I know that I want to give these to people. Like when I was a teacher, I used to always have multiple copies of Love Does by Bob Golf. If you haven't read it, it's a good one. - I haven't read it, but I've heard of it. - It's probably a hundred pages. He's like got a cool story. He's a lawyer. His office used to be at Peter Pan Island. I think is what it was in Disneyland. Like that's where he would go sit to do. I think it's Peter Pan. My wife's gonna be really mad if I mess that one up. It's just like how we overcomplicate life in the Bible and like love is what it's supposed to be about. So I used to just keep multiple copies of that because I wanted, if a kid ever like picks up like, "Oh, what is this coach?" He's like, "Take it, it's yours." Like I want you to read it. Let me know how it goes. And kind of the same thing now. Like anytime, but he's like, "Oh, what should I read?" Like, "Hey, have you read this?" No, here's your copy. I mean, right now we probably have three, four, five copies sitting on the bookshelf, just waiting for the next person that we give it to. That's definitely one of the books in the past handful of years. - Love does. - That has really impacted not just our faith, but like our family dynamic, our friends, how we are good stewards of what we've been given and love others through that. You know what I mean? Unreasonable hospitality. Will, I don't know how to say it last name, Ghidara, I think, G-U-I-D-A-R-A. He was a restaurant guy, 11th Madison Park in New York. And he tells it, he has like a TED talk that he did where he tells a story of, he was over here and these people talking about this big list of fine dining establishments that they've been to. And 11th Madison Park was the last one that they were going to. And either like the mom or the dad's like, "Yeah, but you know what we didn't get in New York? We didn't get like the traditional New York hot dogs stand. That's the only food experience we didn't get." And like he said, like this thing clicks in his brain where he's like, he took off running to a hot dog court, bought a couple of hot dogs, brought them back to the kitchen and like chef them up a little bit. But he like served it to them. And they're like blown away because like they didn't order it. They didn't tell him, he just overheard. And this idea that he had and he told his team, like there's nothing awful in this. If this makes our clients experience better, whatever it is, and he tells a story of like, one of his servers overheard that they didn't get to go to, they've never seen snow in Central Park. So they got an Uber to come pick these people up and bring them to the park and they ate in the park. And like all these different cool things that like, he challenged his team to how unreasonable can we get with what we do? - Oh wow. - You know, to like make that a better experience. He's like, you know, it costs us money in some aspects, but we gain so much more from it. And so like kind of that idea of like, what else can I do for you kind of thing, which I think is so special and so fun. - Kind of put me, so yeah, you asked me to set the stage. I didn't do that. I kind of skipped into it. - No, I love it. - So last year, I think I read 66 books, I think was a member. This year I've just finished book eight earlier this week. I'm currently reading the Throne of Glass series. Again, my wife's a big reader. She goes to book club every week. And so she was like in love with this series. I do enjoy reading fantasy books too. I enjoy a good story, you know, the Mistborn series by Brandon Sanderson. - I'm pretty much only a nonfiction reader. So I have, if you mentioned any fiction series, I will have no idea what you're talking about. - If you ever want to get into it, then it's called Mistborn. It's three books. I mean, he's written like 12 in the series, but those three books, they are up there being one of the best series of books I've ever read. - Oh wow. - So I read that, my wife saw on Instagram where this author that she likes was talking about how similar that series is to the Throne of Glass series that she had read. And so she's been trying to get me to read it. And I was like, baby, like, I know what kind of books you like, I'm not gonna enjoy that, you know? But it's actually been fantastic. I'm on like the third book I think of the series. I started them earlier this week and it's, they're good, man. - Nice. - Also, so I always try to read one fantasy and one business, self-help, psychology, something book. So I'm reading a book, it's called, it's called Make It Snow. So Snowflake is like a big tech company and it's a chief revenue officer, chief marketing officer. They co-wrote it together just about how they, they're the two longest running execs at this company. They've been there for like 20 plus years and how their relationship has worked to grow the company and stuff. So I've got that one right now. I just reread, never split the difference. Chris Voss, the FBI negotiator. - Oh yeah. - And I don't think there's so many books that I've read this past year. I'm really big into Eric Larson. - Okay. - He writes, it's not fiction, but it's historical, non-fiction, but it's like different perspectives with different big events that have happened. So like there's one, Devil in the White City is about like the World Fair that was hosted in Chicago and like the underlying things that had happened there. He has one called, I can't really remember. - I think I remember you did a LinkedIn post on that one. - I did, yeah. So what I did one about, he has one about Fort Sumter in the war and kind of like the different stories. So again, like we went to class, like we know the story of the war and stuff, but it's like the different things that aren't necessarily shared in a textbook and he writes good, good stories about those. He has one about Nazi Germany. I'm trying to think, he had a few. The past year, I read a book called Boys in the Boat, which is really good. They made a movie, I think. Never a fan of the movie, I'd always read the book. It's about the Harvard rowing team back in the early 1900s and some of the battles of the guys, how they got there, how they lived their life, all this stuff. - How do you decide what book to read next? - My wife always has a recommendation. I got a couple buddies who are also really big readers that we kind of go back and forth. And then my dad, again, I love my dad so much. I'm gonna send him this, I'm sorry, Pop, but like, he's a nerd. I mean, he's a robotics teacher. So my dad has been, he was a science teacher. He taught me and all my friends growing up. And now he teaches robotics in STEM. His robotics team travels the country. They've been in national championships and stuff. So like, kind of back to that idea we talked about earlier, like watching my dad pour in the kids and my mom is a teacher pouring into her kids. Growing up made me wanna be an educator. Just kind of realized it just didn't work for me the way it worked for them. But my dad reads a lot, dude. Whenever my wife and I first started there, and I don't even know if he knows this story, this is gonna be really funny when he sees it. We go to his house, he went grab something at the other room and so she grabbed the book that was on his little, by his chair. And it's like how coffee, like the story of how coffee was brewed from like the 800s to now or whatever. And like thick book, and it looks like a coffee table book that would just sit there, but he was reading it. And she was like, "Is he reading, dude?" And I was like, "It's just what he does, man." See, like the boys in the book book my dad gave to me. So he has a huge library where I'm always able to like, hey, pop, what you been reading lately? Well, this is about this, I really enjoyed it. This was about whatever. I didn't really love it because the author talked too much about it. So he gives me kind of like a little rundown of what he thinks I'd enjoy. - Does he have like a library? And do y'all have like a library case or is it just a bookcase? How do you- - So my dad's a middle school teacher, but he also has a woodworking shop. So like anything that they need in our house, he's just like, "Oh yeah, I'm just gonna..." He woke up one day and just decided he was gonna learn how to build cool stuff. And so like he built a bookshelf in his room. Now I'm pretty sure he's gotten rid of a lot of books lately just for like kind of what we just did, like space sake. You know what I mean? It's very easy to like, you know, so like if this is our bedroom, we have three bookshelves right here. And they're full. Like I'm talking about, you pull one out, the whole thing might kind of fall. But then we also have a box on the ground for the books. I probably have 10 to 15 books on my nightstand. My wife probably has a few more than that. But yeah, so we also, so we buy a lot of books off of thrift books. It's like when libraries close down, this place, buy that all the books. So you can buy books for like three or four bucks at a time. So my wife, my dad, and I all share a thrift books account. So I can also go see like, "Hey, has Pop bought this yet?" Oh, he has quite a lot to buy it. I can grab it. And then also just like, we go to local bookstores and just ask people there, like, "Hey, look, I like this. What would you suggest for you?" Like what's come out lately that you think I might like. And then also just like different, like I read a lot of leadership books, a lot of coaching books. So like John Wooden is one of my favorite coaches of all time, even people who don't know athletics or can coaching know who John Wooden was. You know what I mean? And he's at the point now where now his players are like writing books about him. Even if he's not alive anymore. So anything like John Wooden, Coach K, I like Mike Leach. I know he passed away a few years ago, but he has a book called Swinger Sword. I think it's a good one to kind of, it's a leadership book, but it's kind of what we talked about earlier, like Swinger Sword, like you do what you do and you make it work for you. And everything else will fall in line kind of thing. I just got a book in the mail. I'm trying to remember the name right now. It's in it on my desk. And I was talking about, you know, desk in my office. I'll put a desk in the corner of the bedroom. You know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get that. - And I can't remember the name of it right now. - But you said love does unreasonable hospitality. If you had to pick one more that you like, you said, "Hey, this will change the course of my life "or made the biggest impression." What would you say? - A little cheesy. I got a friend of mine, referred a book to me about six months ago, kind of told him some of the struggle that I've been going with, just personal life stuff. And then once the last time you read a devotional, like in your quiet time. I was like, man, it's been a while. Like I read my Bible, a proverb of the day, Psalm a day, wherever I am in my reading. But it's been a while since I kind of read it. So it's called draw the circle, draw a circle. - Okay, I haven't heard of that one. - Of course I'm gonna mess up the name and I'm saying that's a book that's important. But again, it's right there on my desk in my Bible. I read it every morning. And essentially it's just this idea of like you've got to create your own space to draw a circle around where you are in the room. Only the stuff in that circle matters at this moment. Where are your thoughts? Where are you putting your stuff? And it's been kind of changed the way that my prayer life and reading time in the morning has impacted me. So I feel like I haven't finished it. So I feel kind of cheap throwing that one in there right now. But it has been up to this point. It's been very good. As far as like an actual book, New the Game of Thrones series of books, they're not finished. There are some of the best written books I've ever, and I read all the books before I ever watched a TV show. And I made that up. Like I remember reading some of them early in college as like Game of Thrones was coming out. But they are just, they are some of the best stories, some of the best world building. Have you seen the TV show? - Uh-oh. - So I mean people, it's a fantastic show. The books are way better. Again, I feel kind of cheap throwing a series in there. You asked for a book. - No, that's all good. - Dude, you know what was a good one? Guy named Jesse Cole. He's the owner of the Savannah Bananas. - Yeah, Savannah Bananas. - Find your Yellow Tux, the same of his book. And it's just an idea of kind of what we've been talking about. Like what works for you? Like he wears a Yellow Tuxedo every day for the Savannah Banana games. Like that's his way of sticking out. That's his way. So like what is your calling card? What are people gonna remember you for? Do they have to be as cheesy as a Yellow Tux or whatever it is? But like when you leave a room, what are people talking about? When they talk about Dustin, whenever he leaves a room, when I leave this room, what are you saying about me? How do you leave an impact on people? Whether that's a sit down conversation like this or like a quick handshake at a networking event. Like how are people remembering you? Like what's your legacy in that sense? I think it's a cool idea. I've looked at that one and almost bought it several times. Got a copy for you, brother. There you go, there you go. I appreciate that. So then the last C, the ABCs is cherished family traditions that you either-- I'm pulling my notes up. No good, have with your family now or maybe something from your childhood, whatever you think that you cherish. And so you sent me that the other day when I asked. And I looked at my wife and she's like, we don't really have family traditions. And she's like, what are you talking about, dude? And I just don't think of these as traditions. I guess yet when I think of tradition, I think of what did we used to do? But my kids are young, we're building our tradition. So every Sunday we go to church. We get church, we call it church and donuts. We go to get donuts with the kids first, we get some donut holes and then we go to church. Now my kids don't know that you can just go to church. It's church and donuts. We've done that since they were babies. You know what I mean? And that's like, I didn't realize until she kind of pointed like how much that means to us. Like again, it's silly, it's whatever. But the kids get so excited to go to church and donuts probably the sugar rush has a little bit to do with it. But they love church so much. And I just think it's a good way to like start our day of like, it's the four of us, phone, stay in the car. We're eating donuts, we're being silly. My little girl, so other way she gets like a big old chocolate mustache because she throws it back like that. You know what I mean? - That's awesome. - And we have that, we have a man, some of my wife, I think it's the coolest thing that she's done as a parent. She's done a lot of cool stuff. This is hands down the best thing. Every morning, both the kids when she's like getting them ready for school, she's braiding Eloise's hair, you know, brushing Bennett's hair in the mirror. We do a daily affirmation and something she, they repeat after her, I am brave. I am strong, I am kind. I love my family and I'm gonna have a great day. - Oh, that's awesome. - Every morning. And so we have videos of the kids like when they're like, you know, a year and a half, I am brave, you know what I mean? It's like, again, something small and cheesy, but like they go to school, they start their day with believing that they are brave, that they can be kind, that they are smart. Life is hard, they're gonna have a tough time in school, something's going to happen, but they're gonna have these affirmations that they do and do, we don't miss a day, we do it every, if we forget. We might have slept late, we're running late, we're running out the door and Bennett's going, affirmations, it's like, all right, let's do these. And you kind of catch yourself like trying to make it a routine, but it shouldn't just be part of the routine, it should be a true thing every morning. So that's been one of the, like, again, as a 32 year old man who sometimes thinks he has stuff figured out, it's good for me to remember, like, no, I am kind, I am brave, you know, like we can do hard things, you know what I mean? Dude, lately we've been playing UNO, that's a hard game. I mean, no exaggeration, Dustin, probably 30 games a day with my little boy. He's all into it for Christmas. He got no mercy UNO, have you played no mercy? - I've seen it, I haven't played it. - Brother, they got plus sixes and plus tens and all. And so he calls them trick cards. Like, if one of the games over, he like wants to look through everyone's cards, like, oh, you didn't play all your tricks? Like, what are you doing? I mean, again, I had a buddy over last night, he lives in New York now, but we were high school best friends and he came over last night while he was still in town and we probably played eight games of no mercy UNO last night. He's like, dude, he's only five. How did he beat it six of the time? Like, do we play some, we get some reps here. - It's like this family game night. Like we try to find different games to play with them. Like we connect four. He's just gaming the world, but like, the family gets down on some connect four. - Oh yeah, yeah. - So just like that idea of like, you know, there's a difference in like intentional and quality time. You know, like you hear people say all the time that they want more quality time with their family. We're really big on like all the time that I get to spend with my family is quality time. So something as simple as playing connect four is a special moment for us. Even though we do it every day, it's still a special thing. - That's awesome. So when we moved to the new house, I told Bethany leading up to it, I said, look, I think it was Black Friday, we bought a TV 'cause we knew we were gonna need one. I said, we're not taking out the box for at least, it started at two weeks and it went to a month. I was like, we're just gonna, you know, and we don't watch TV, Bethany and I, but the kids they'll wake up, hey, I wanna watch a devotion or watch this. And then in the afternoons, if they're getting tired or whatever, 'cause we're home school, so after school work, lunch, hey, I wanna just watch a show for a little bit. You know, it might be four o'clock, I wanna watch. And so I was like, look, we're just not even gonna put a TV up, so it's not even an option. And it's been great 'cause we bought knowing that for Christmas, we've got like four new board games. - There you go. - So like we got battleship, guess who, sorry. And then they also got Catan Jr. and Clue Jr. - Oh, bravo from Catan. - Which was all, Clue Jr. has been great because I didn't even put that on their list, but she's like a sister to me. She's technically our cousin. She found it, but it's set up like in a classroom. So there's two levels, the first level, you actually work together to solve the mystery. - Okay. - And it's who accidentally took, you know, you can do sports equipment, art supplies, snack, or whatever, who accidentally left the playground with it in their book sack. So it was like, no one was stealing it, it was just accidentally in their book sack. And then level two is competitive. And it is who set off the volcano in the science class. And so it's what class were they supposed to be in, what material did they put into the volcano to launch it? And then, you know, who actually did it. So it's not like murder mystery or anything. - Of course, yeah. - So it's age appropriate. - Family appropriate. - Exactly. But, yeah, they really liked that one as well. - I'm gonna take a note of that. My dad got the kids operation for Christmas. And like, you know, you're like, I played operation as a kid. Brother, it didn't get no easier. - Oh, no, it's hard. - Yeah, man. So, and I want to think it's a little bit above them. I mean, five and four. - 'Cause the motor skills, yeah. - Yeah, like, you know, and they enjoy it, but they get frustrated. - Oh yeah. - You know what I mean? - Yep. My older, she's like, "Stop." When I get the little bud, the first time he did it, my little boy kind of like, it kind of looked at me like, "What did you get me, dude? What anyway?" - Yeah. - Clue Junior, I'm gonna have to get Clue Junior. - Yeah. - I didn't know they had Catan Junior. - They do, they do. - My wife and I, we played some Catan. It's been a while, but like, we're a big fan. - Us too. - Yeah, I will have to hang out with them. - Yeah, absolutely. They have a throw down. - Yeah. We'll still be friends after, no matter what happens. - No doubt. But in the game? - Well, listen, my wife and I, so when we first started dating, we would play Connect Four on text messages. - Oh really? - So, it's like the little white circle emojis. We would set the board up, and then like, let's just say she went first. She would delete one of the ones at the bottom, if her color was red. She put the red circle, and my turn was the blue one. And listen, the first time we ever played this, - I never knew that, by the way. - It's a blast. 'Cause again, like, we were in college, we didn't see each other every day. We both had full-time jobs while in school. I'm in my last year, I'm in my second last year of college. I'm really trying to get out. - Yeah. - So it was just a way for us to like, connect and again, a year of long distance, we did that, we would have like the chessbook friends app, and we played chess against each other. We'll do the first time we played Connect Four, and this is like early in the dating. So again, two weeks in the dating, my wife, I blew my entire knee out playing basketball. H.E.L. Patella Meniscus, like when I stood up, my knee was just like hanging there. And so like, I was bedridden for like a couple of weeks after surgery, I moved back in with my dad just for the recovery part of it. And so we were playing that. And she just like, made a, like a bad move. Didn't realize that I had three in a row. I got the fourth in a row and she just didn't respond. (laughing) For hours, dude, for hours. I'm like, "Hey, are you really like, we're dating." So you know, but like first, I guess argument, you know what I mean? - Yeah, yeah. - And just no response, dude. - No. - And again, I'm talking about like hours. And I'm laying in bed, I can't move. I'm like, and then I'm like-- - So you're just watching, just waiting. - Then I screwed this up already, you know what I mean? And so she came over that night, she brought food, she was like, "Hey, I'm really sorry. I'm competitive." So even now, 10 years in, we kind of have to be a little careful sometimes about what we play. - That is hilarious. - Can't be a whole lot of trash talk. I mean, I'm competitive too, you know what I mean? - Yeah, of course. - So Katan can get a little dirty sometimes, but you know, we figured it out. We can still be friends after, you know what I mean? - Yeah, the best is when you're doing Katan and you know, say there's four of us and my wife and I, like she needs something and we don't agree on a trade. She's like, "Are you kidding me right now? Like are you not like, you're gonna win. I'm not trading you." - We're playing a game right now. We're competitors. - Exactly. - Right now we're not married. Right now we're playing a game. - Yeah, it's like, look, we might be married, but I'm not just giving you the game. - Yeah, well, I mean, what lesson are we teaching the kids if I let you win? - Exactly, I love that. - We're big into the board games. Again, it's just an easy way. Again, it's how we grew up, right? Like we didn't have these. I'm holding this while we're talking. Like we didn't have these growing up. So like we played a ton of board games growing up. I want to make sure my kids have that same kind of connection. And again, like Mellow Boy loves chess. Like he's really, kind of know how he'll play on my phone, but he plays on the easy mode. But he knows every piece, what they're called, how they can move and stuff. He's really into that. - I've been wanting to teach my oldest. She's seven now, but we just haven't spent enough time working through, you know, we've done it here and there, but not enough repetition to kind of let it sink in where we can go play. She's great at checkers, but you know, the chess, we're still working. - I play every day and I'm terrible at it. Like I tell people, I play like, oh, we should play against each other. I'm like, that's not fun. Like I haven't gotten any better at it, but I just love playing. - Yeah. - And then the other tradition I want to talk about, there's two more, man. We started this last year. Every Saturday after Halloween, we call it a Christmas Saturday. That's what we do is we, Chris movie, Polar Express, Elves, whatever it is. We get a bunch of snacks, popcorn, my wife will bake a little something. And we have like one of those modular couches. So we put it up, we call it the couch bed. We put it where all four of us are laying on the couch bed, watching TV, eating snacks. And it's just like a way to kind of get into Christmas spirit. Cause it's like Christmas spirit is hard to find. You know what I mean? Like, so trying to recreate that kind of, you know, magic. And so do every Saturday, we're on the couch watching some Christmas movie. - Okay. - To the point where like the kids are like, can I pick the movie this time? It's like, no, I'm not watching Paul Patrol Christmas. - Yeah. - You know what I mean? But not doing a really cool one that she brought up. And then one of the ones that probably means the most to me, like being from Louisiana, we are thanks fans. Unfortunately, you know what I mean? - Yeah. - And so every Saints game, we watch it at my dad's house. - Okay. - Call it chicken Sundays. We'll pick up either like Popeyes or Cain's or something. Cause my dad, myself, my mom, my brother lives here. Him and his wife would come over, me and my wife and the kids. And we're all sitting in my dad's living room, eating chicken and watching Saints games. - Oh, that's cool. - And it's really funny now. Cause like Ben is to the point where he understands like, oh no, the Saints lost again. - Again. - And he's to the point like, you know, he'll look at my daddy cause I'm pop. He was pop. They lost. - And I'm like, hold on. - Yeah. - Like we had a few years, we had a few years dude. Like before your time, but like don't, don't expect it to be anything but this. - That's right. - But it's just a good way. Again, like my wife and I both work. The kids are in all their activities. Tennis, dancing, art, whatever they're into at the time. And then my wife and I also try to not lose like, our activities and ourselves. Like I enjoy playing golf with my friends. I used to train you just to my wife. That's her book club. Like all these different things that we still want to enjoy as well. - Yeah. - And I'm sure that we say who we are. It's really hard to find, to carve out time for family time. You kind of realize like, I didn't talk to my dad in four days. You know what I mean? - Right, right. - So that idea of like every same scheme, at least we know 14 to 16 weeks out of the year. - Yeah. - We're going to be able to spend some time together. - Yeah. Got that Sunday. - Yeah. And so that's probably one of the, I didn't realize again, so I said to him, I was like, what are some of our traditions? She was like, dude, chicken Sunday, are you kidding me? - Yeah. - That's a good point. That is a tradition. - That's awesome. - And it's fun now, like we have pictures of like my dad. He's holding a drumstick from Popeyes, Eloise, when she's like newborn, watching the saints, Bennett's sitting right next to him. Like those are, that's a picture, that's a memory we'll be able to hold forever. - That's right. - Hopefully, and my dad's a young man, like mid to late fifties, hopefully we'll get another 20, 30 years of some chicken Sundays and just be able to see the kids grow up being able to do that with them. - That's awesome. - Really special, man. - I love that, dude. - Yeah, man. - Those are some great traditions. I always ask that 'cause it's a bit selfish 'cause I wanna say, okay, let me see what we can, you know, steal for our family. - That's why you're in that chair. That's what I'm gonna share. You're here to learn, baby. - That's it, I love it, man. Well, I appreciate the last thing, if you wanna share with everyone how they can connect with you, if they wanna reach out, you know, get in touch. - So I mean, I have social media. I don't, I guess I use LinkedIn a lot. I really do. That's probably been the social media I've used the most, but any social media, I'm on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, just Timothy Megas. - I appreciate taking the time. - Brother, I appreciate you, man. - It was, thank you so much. For all y'all listening, thank y'all for sticking with us through this conversation. Remember, no matter what you're walking through to continue moving forward, rooted in your purpose, living on purpose and walking with purpose. Until next time.