Episode 3 - Dag Hammarskjöld & the Power of Thoughtful Leadership

aka: TTW Dag met all 4,000 employees at the UN. 

When Dag Hammarskjöld became Secretary-General of the United Nations, he did something that no one expected—he took the time to meet every single UN staff member, from the basement to the top floor. That’s over 4,000 people. Individually!

This wasn’t a publicity stunt. It wasn’t about ego. It was about connection.

Yet, despite this, myths about introverts and highly sensitive people (HSPs) persist. We’re often told we need to “come out of our shells” to be effective leaders, that we need to be louder, bolder, or more extroverted to succeed. But Dag’s leadership shows us a different path—one that values thoughtfulness, quiet confidence, and deep engagement over shallow charisma.

In this episode, we’ll explore:
 ✅ How Dag Hammarskjöld shattered the myth that introverts can’t lead
 ✅ The power of intentional, personal connection in leadership
 ✅ Why you don’t have to change who you are to be effective—you just need to lead on your own terms

I'll also read an excerpt from Decoding the Unicorn, where I recount Dag’s building tour and what it reveals about his character.

So if you’ve ever been told you’re “too quiet” to lead—this one’s for you.

📖 Read Decoding the Unicorn: https://a.co/d/0D9xM3b. 
 

Transcript

Transcription by Otter.ai.  Please forgive any typos!

SUMMARY KEYWORDS

Dag Hammarskjöld, leadership, introverts, HSPs, UN meeting, employee engagement, thoughtful leadership, employee retention, unity, respect, quiet strength, empathy, personal connections, corporate world, management.

Welcome to the Decoding the Unicorn podcast. Here's your host, Sara Causey.

 Hello, Hello and thanks for tuning in. Welcome to episode three of decoding the unicorn the podcast. In today's episode, I want to talk about that time when Dag went through the entire UN meeting every single employee, something like 4000 people individually. I guess loosely we could title this something like  Dag Hammarskjöld and the power of thoughtful leadership. But there's this stereotype that introverts and HSPs, highly sensitive people are not good leaders. They're not good managers. They'll just stay cloistered away and protected in some kind of turtle shell. They'll hang out in their office. They won't ever really engage with their employees to find out what the issues are. They'll just stay hidden. And Dag completely took that stereotype and blew it to smithereens. So before we get into some of the meat and potatoes of the episode, I want to read a passage for you from decoding the unicorn after the first few days of hubbub, Dag sought to answer a key question, how could he effectively serve as secretary general if he didn't know the people who made the UN function? For Dag, this was even more specific, because he truly meant all of the people who made the UN function. There were 1000s of employees, each playing a role and each contributing to the mission. Behind the machinery of this vast institution were human beings with stories, aspirations and struggles of their own. He wanted to understand them and to show them that he too was a person and not a title. Dag. You're not in the finance or foreign affairs ministry anymore. You're not leading a small team or a local bureau. You need to get out of this office and mingle. He decided the quiet Swede happy to work at an antique desk in solitude. Pushed himself out of his comfort zone. He picked up the phone and buzzed his secretary, yes, Mr. Hammarskjöld, I want to meet everyone, he said, with a firm but gentle resolve. Of course, there's a diplomatic luncheon next week and an official No, no. I mean everyone, everyone from the basement to the top. Could you help me schedule visits to each department, floor by floor, as soon as possible? She hesitated, wondering if dag understood the enormity of this task, but she agreed, yes, sir, I'll help you arrange it. After disconnecting, she walked down the hall to her friend, a typist named Patty. Everyone said he's painfully shy, she remarked as she gestured to Dad's office. Yeah, apparently he's not married, because he's so awkward around women, he can't even ask one out for a date, at least that's what I heard. Although that's not stopping Mary Louise, she's convinced she'll land him and become Mrs. UN if you can believe it, I told her he's shy, not blind. Patty snickered. They both allowed themselves a wicked giggle at this. Do you know what he just asked? No idea he wants to meet everyone. I thought he did that at the inauguration. They were all there. No. He means everyone. He's going through the entire building, even that crummy basement. Wow, no one's ever done that. Can you imagine Lee lumbering around in the boiler room? Absolutely not. I'm having a hard time picturing Mr. H down there. He always dresses so nice, I would have thought he'd be scared he'd dirty his white shirts and polished shoes. Maybe we figured him wrong. Patty shrugged. Word spread quickly that the new Secretary General was making his way through the building to meet every single employee. Many were surprised, but the sentiment was almost universally positive. Nothing like this had happened before, and it was big news from the very first visit, Dag approached each encounter with genuine warmth and curiosity. He was nervous, and what few understood was that Dag's impeccable dress wasn't just for show. It was a way of managing his own insecurities about his appearance. Dag had self doubts, as any person does, but he set those worries aside. He arrived in the basement where the maintenance staff and janitors worked quietly, often unseen by the diplomats and delegates bustling above as he entered the dimly lit area, he extended his hand to the first employee. He saw a man in stained overalls, good morning. Dag said with an anxious smile, I'm Dag Hammarskjöld, thank you for all the hard work you do. The man blinked in surprise, wiping his hand on a rag before extending it to the Secretary General. I I didn't expect you to come down here. He stammered, clearly taken aback by Dag's presence. Well, this place wouldn't function without you. I wanted to thank you in person. Son, and so it continued, department by department. Dag walked through the busy hallways of the UN introducing himself to clerks, secretaries, translators, kitchen staff and security guards. He stopped to chat with an aide who had been with the UN since its founding, asking about his experiences and memories. He sat with a group of cafeteria workers during their lunch break, listening to their stories of The Good, the Bad and the inedible of different recipes they'd tried. He greeted each person with sincerity, making sure that no one was overlooked in the translation department. Dag marveled at the speed and precision with which the interpreters worked. He paused to acknowledge the essential role they played in bridging communication gaps. You're the ones who make sure we all understand each other. He said, Without you, there would be no negotiations in the United Nations. The response was the same surprise and happiness that someone as important as the Secretary General would take the time to connect with them personally. DAGs, energy didn't wane. Even after meeting with hundreds of employees in a single day, he addressed each person with care and respect, asking questions about their work and their lives, remembering names as best as he could. He wanted each employee to feel valued and to know that their contribution mattered by the time he reached the top floor, his expression was as warm as it had been when he started. I can't help but smile. I just this makes me so happy. Can you tell what a labor of love that this was for me, how how much affection I still have for this book. I just it really was a co creation between the two of us. And it just makes me so happy to go back, even just to read a short passage like that. All right, so I will set this aside for a moment. So let's think about why did dag do this? He understood that leadership is about people. The UN was not just a collection of diplomats and suits. There was a staff that kept everything running. When he said that he wanted to meet everyone, he really meant everyone. He went down to the basement. He went to the boiler room. It wasn't about, well, I want to meet the people who matter. I want to meet the people on the top floors, or people that are considered the executives around here, but I don't want to mess with like the guys down in the basement. Nope. He met everyone, and he acknowledged their importance, regardless of what their title might have been. It made me think back to a place that I worked at for a while where so much centered on optics, so much focus was on appearances, photo opportunities. How does this look on social media? They even wanted to control everyone's personal, private social media presence. It was so bizarre that place, the way that they treated people and the way that they functioned. They're no longer in business and Kelsey with behavior like that. For Dag, this was not about optics. It was not about publicity. It was not about I want to meet the important people around here. He really considered every single person to be an important person. So this idea that introverts and HSPs are not capable of meeting 4000 individuals in an organization is just simply not true. Dag proves otherwise. He wasn't grandstanding or making a show. He was genuinely connecting, whether he was sitting with cafeteria workers laughing about recipes they tried that went sideways on them, or he's talking to people in the translation department, or the workers down in the basement, security guards. It didn't matter. He wanted to have real conversations with those people, and to show that he, too, was a human being, not some stuffed shirt on the top floor, but a real person. So I mentioned Lee briefly in that passage, Trygve Lie was the first Secretary General of the UN and to be honest, Dag inherited something of a dysfunctional, fractured organization from him. Lee was a bit more brash in your face in so many ways, he was the more typical or stereotypical, extroverted leader. He liked to rub shoulders at the country club and the tennis club. He liked to mingle amongst the swells. He had a big mansion out on Long Island, and he was just your more, you know, I like to be sociable, but not sociable in the sense of, I'm going to push myself out of my comfort zone and go meet 4000 people and treat them as individuals and care about what they have to say. It was I want to socialize with the important folks around here, whereas Dag's approach was about building relationships at. At all levels, and really setting a new tone for the UN and I look back at his leadership leadership examples, and I'm like, This is so amazing, and it would help so many organizations in modernity. Think back. Dag was appointed to be Secretary General in april of 1953 he was so ahead of his time. We're talking about this going on in the 50s, in the early 50s. So what was the impact of Dag's action? Many un employees felt seen and heard and valued for the first time. Now, if that doesn't create employee retention. I don't know what does just that one simple act can go so far for helping you keep amazing people on your team. It also created a sense of unity and respect, because it really reinforced the idea that every job matters. It's not about only the people on the top floors are important, only the people with certain kind of titles are important. Excuse me, my voice is trying to give out. Hold on one second. Oh, I need a good book. Everything I see looks the same, same basic characters, same tired stories. Check out decoding the unicorn, a new look at Dag Hammarskjöld it's not your typical history book, or some put me to sleep biography. It's got cold war intrigue, the story of Khrushchev rowing dag out to sea and having a temper fit Dag narrowly escaping the Luftwaffe during the Second World War. I read it cover to cover in one weekend. Wait, a history book that's actually interesting. Yep, it's smart, engaging and full of Whoa. I didn't know that moments, trust me, you'll enjoy it. Decoding the unicorn by Sara Causey, available on Amazon. So it created a sense of unity and respect, reinforcing that every job mattered, every job was important, and Dag's leadership style was one of quiet strength, quiet authority, not performative charisma, not jazz hands, not look at me. I'm so much more important. I'm the star. I'm the ring master. Around here, it was about I'm introducing myself to you, and I want to know you. I want to show you that you matter, and I want to know what you do. Tell me more about your job. I want to truly understand who you are and what your contributions are, so I can be of service to you that is so powerful. So let's segue for a second into the mythology of the socially inept introvert. Let's think about some common stereotypes that we hear. Introverts are shy, they're awkward, they're socially inept, they need to put themselves out there. In order to succeed. They have to be loud, charismatic if they're really that shy, because there's still this idea that introvert equals shy, which is totally bogus. If they're really that shy, then they need to put on a false face. They need to pretend to be more extroverted just to get through the day. Now here's why this is false. Introverts are not incapable of socializing. We just tend to be a bit more selective and intentional about it. We don't look at every opportunity to socialize as being a good one. I Okay, there are some extroverts who do any opportunity to get out of the house, any opportunity to go and rub shoulders with somebody, they're there, but most introverts do not fall into that category. But it doesn't mean that they're incapable of an interaction. One of the things I think it's important to look at is that dag went and met with each person individually, so he wasn't in these humongous groups where it leads to overwhelm and it leads to people not really feeling seen or heard because they're part of a cattle call so important the way that he did that HSPs are deeply empathetic, and They're aware of other people's emotions, and this makes them better, not worse, at meaningful interactions. It also shows how leadership is not being the loudest person in the room. It's really about that connection. People remember how you made them feel. And if you got in a room and you shouted at them and you acted like a drill sergeant. They're certainly going to remember you in a negative way. If you acted like a snooty snob in the hallway, they're going to remember that you gave them the brush off. So Dag debunked this myth around introverts. Are shy, they're socially inept. They can't do this, and they can't do that. He didn't force himself to become extroverted. He got himself out of his comfort zone. There's no doubt about that, because, especially if you go back and look at the videos, there are a few of them that have been digitized and saved after all this time of him working in his office in Sweden, he had antique furniture and paintings, and he had a cloister made for himself. It's very it's at least to me, anyway, knowing him as intimately as I do, it's so apparent to me that that was his introvert cloister. It was nicely decorated with nice things. He felt comfortable in there, and that was his little domain. So he knew that he had to push himself out because he wasn't in that office anymore. He was running a giant organization with a lot of employees. But with that being said, getting out of your comfort zone is not the same thing as forcing yourself to be an extrovert. And he did not have to force himself to be an extrovert in order to connect with his team. He created his own method of engagement, which was personal, deliberate and respectful, and his quiet presence held more authority than empty theatrics. Here I am all this time later in March of 2025 talking about what he did in april of 1953, that's legacy. I just find that so exciting. I really do. What does all of this mean for today's leaders? We can definitely take some lessons from Dag, even just from this one example for introverted and HSP leaders, you don't need to be the most talkative. You need to be present and engaged. In fact, a leader who spends most of their time talking is probably a crappy leader, probably not a very good manager. You should be listening way more than you speak. Thoughtful leadership is also about recognizing and valuing people's contributions, not overpowering them with your personality and not trying to make everything all about you. You want to see what are they contributing, and how can I honor that if, for some reason, it's not up to snuff? If we're talking about the arena of performance improvement needing to happen, how can we approach that subject in a way that still has dignity, so that we're not treating somebody like dirt, we're setting some clear expectations that hopefully they can rise to the occasion and meet. Your ability to listen and to observe gives you an advantage in leadership settings. It's not a disadvantage. Extroverts, who are talking and chatting in their jazz hands and they're all over the place, might miss some really important components that you as an introvert and an HSP will be able to intuit. So let's think about the corporate world and politics, how they favor these loud, brassy, obnoxious personalities. But there is really immense power in quiet leadership, as I say basically in every episode. It's my belief, fervent belief, that we need more leaders like dag who understood that people at all levels matter. We need more of those people in management, whether you're talking about lower, mid or upper management in an organization, it doesn't matter. People need to be able to look around and say it's not all about the rungs of the ladder that are above me. There really shouldn't even be hierarchy where we think of it in those terms. Anyway, everyone here and the job that they perform matters. The organization will fall apart if there's a lot of dissension in the ranks. And this should be common sense if you're an introvert or an HSP, please stop thinking that you have to change who you are and fake extroversion in order to be a good leader or a good people manager, lean into your strengths instead. Don't deny them. Lean into them. So dag proved that introverts and HSPs are not socially incapable. They just might lead in a different way than a loud, boisterous extrovert. Dag's leadership was based on true connection, not on performance, not on jazz hands, and I believe that the world desperately needs more leaders like him today. So if you have ever been told that you need to come out of your shell, you're too quiet, you don't socialize enough, you take your job too seriously, please remember this, you don't have to do any of that. You don't have to fake it to make it. You don't have to pretend to be somebody that you're not and spend 40 or 50 hours of your life at work wearing a mask. In fact, you need to show up as yourself with thoughtfulness and integrity. That is what Dag did, and it's why his leadership still resonates today. I hope that this has been a bit of encouragement for you, and I hope that you enjoyed the passage from the book. If you did, please consider giving it a read. I am always so happy to hear from people who have read the book and been touched by it. It. It just lights me up more than I could ever possibly express to you. Hope you enjoyed this episode. If so, like share, subscribe, and I will see you next time. 

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