Root Ready

Stop Talking About the Weather: Better Ways to Open Client Meetings

• James Conole, CFP® • Episode 19

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This episode of Root Ready dives into the art of first impressions: why small talk isn’t small and how skipping the weather talk might be the smartest move you make. Whether you’re a new advisor or a seasoned planner, this conversation unpacks how to show confidence, warmth, and leadership from the moment a meeting starts.

James shares practical strategies for opening virtual meetings in a way that builds genuine rapport and trust without sounding scripted. From the psychology of posture and tone to the power of open-ended questions and clear agendas, you’ll learn how to turn the “awkward first minute” into a connection that lasts.

Because clients don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care and that starts long before you talk about money.

Listen to this episode to learn how to show up with presence, lead with purpose, and build relationships that feel real from the very first hello.


Submit a question for James here: https://rootreadypodcast.com/

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SPEAKER_00:

Welcome back to another episode of the Root Ready Podcast. I'm your host, James Kinole. Today we're talking about how do you eliminate that potential for awkwardness in your first interaction with a new client or even an existing client and how do you establish that credibility, establish that confidence? Today's question comes from a listener, Noah. Noah asks the following. He says, Hi James, what are some practical ways to handle small talk and reduce or eliminate any awkwardness during their first few moments of a virtual meeting with a new client? I want to get better at establishing rapport and creating a genuine human connection before moving into financial planning topics. Right now, I usually default to asking about where they live, and often the weather is discussed, but I know that is not the strongest approach. Do you think it is better to dive right into planning related questions, like why they want to work with a financial planner and what they hope to get out of the relationship? Or is it worthwhile to spend those first few moments building a personal connection? Really enjoying the podcast. Thank you for putting out such great content, Noah. Thank you, Noah. Great question. This is something that I have a few scattered thoughts about, but there's four main points that I want to make when it comes to this. But before I make those points, this might seem like a somewhat unimportant question. You know, granted, this might only be the first 10 seconds, 30 seconds of your actual conversation, of your actual relationship, which could last years. So why does this matter? Well, this matters because this is your first chance to make a first impression. And that first impression is going to matter. That first impression might even be the difference between a client moving forward with you and not moving forward with you. So this does matter. This matters because in many ways it establishes the foundation that the relationship is going to be built upon. And so don't neglect to think about how are you coming across in that first few moments of that first interaction? The first point I'll make is this: the client you're speaking with, the perspective client you're speaking with, they are taking their cues about how to perceive you from you. If I go right back to Noah's question, he asks, what are practical ways to eliminate the awkwardness? So what do I mean by the client is taking their cues about how to perceive you from you? I want to give you an example of when this really hit me, when this really became evident to me. I used to be in a Toastmasters club and I was in this club for maybe three years or so. And one of the great things about Toastmasters is everybody has a role. Depending on how large your club is, everyone for the most part has a role where they're participating in the meeting, and one of the roles is called the judge. The judge is designed to sit there, to observe, to give feedback at the end of the meeting. What went well, what could be improved, giving people specific feedback. So that was my role one day during a Toastmasters meeting. Now, another part of the meeting is called table topics. Table topics is the opportunity for us to practice extemporaneous speaking. So someone calling on you, you not being prepared, you having to get up and deliver a little mini speech. And so the way it works is every meeting has a theme. The theme of the meeting could be anything. It could be kindness, it could be springtime, it could be memories, it could be anything and everything. So keep that in mind that each meeting has a theme and each meeting has a word of the day. So when you are doing table topics, the way it works is if I'm the table topics master, I might ask a question having to do with kindness. When was the last time someone showed unexpected kindness to you? And how did it make you feel? Just for example. So they'll ask that question to a room full of 20, 30 people, and they might ask that and then say, James. And I then have to come up and give a speech. And that speech cannot be shorter than 60 seconds, and it cannot be longer than 90 seconds. So you have a limited duration of time that you need to deliver your response, and your response must include the word of the day. So at every meeting, there's a word of the day. So you have to somehow incorporate that into your speech. And all the while, if you're saying ands, ums, uhs, any other filler words, you're getting clicked. So typically, as a judge, those are the things I think I'm looking for. I think I'm looking for how do they do in terms of keeping their question on track with the time? How do they do in terms of the delivery of their message? How do they do in terms of eliminating the use of filler words? But something struck me as I was judging, as I was especially attentive to how things were going in that meeting of the table topics master would ask the question. And what struck me was not the way that that question was responded to, but how the person who was called upon immediately reacted as soon as they were called upon. And what I mean by that is some people they would hear their name, they would push back confidently, they would walk briskly up to the front of the room, ready to deliver their message. Other people, their name would be called upon. They'd kind of hunch over a little bit with a little bit of an embarrassed smile, clearly not wanting to be called upon, sit there for a couple seconds, slowly slouch and push themselves slowly away from the table, slowly shuffle up to the front of the room. And what I could tell in that moment was there was a very clear difference between these two people. Neither had actually said anything yet. But what each of these two individuals had done is they had given me cues. They had given me a signal of how should I perceive them? Should I perceive them in the talk they're about to give as confident, something I should pay attention to, something that they had a high degree of confidence in? Or should I perceive the speech they're about to give as they don't really want to be here? It's clear that they're not confident in what they're gonna say. It's clear they don't really want to be doing what they're doing. And before either of them had even said a word, my judgment, my mind was kind of made up about how I perceived the upcoming 60 to 90 seconds of their actual speech. So when I experienced that, what I realized is the audience that I'm about to speak to, my message to them starts well beyond I actually open my mouth and start talking. My message to them starts the moment I'm called upon, the moment I push away from the desk confidently, the way I walk up to the stage, the way I hold myself, the way I pull back my shoulders, my posture. All of these little things are subconscious cues that the audience is taking about how are they going to receive the message I then give. So, what can we learn about financial advisors from that? Well, going back to Noah's question, the way your client is going to perceive you, asking about the awkwardness, what should you say? It starts before anything you actually say. How do you show up to the meeting? Are you smiling? Are you leaning forward a little bit? Are you talking and not just sitting there like a robot like this, not moving at all? Are you using your hands a little bit? Do you feel engaged? Those are the little things that set cues that your client's gonna think, okay, Noah really wants to be here. Noah's really confident in the message he's gonna deliver to me. Noah's excited to get to know me and get to go through the planning work that we have together. Contrast that with Noah opening up a little feeble, talking real quietly, mumbling about what you want to do, as of the weather, blah, blah, blah, blah, not saying that's what you're doing. No, of course that's not what you're doing. But you can start to tell the difference between what it feels like from the client's end when you open before you even talk about planning versus someone that clearly doesn't want to be there, someone that's clearly not super confident in how they're carrying themselves. So that's the first thing. To eliminate the awkwardness, it actually starts before you say a word. Now, by the way, as I talk about this, I just mentioned some very practical things to do. Smile, look intently at them, use some hand gestures if you can, lean a little bit forward. These aren't things that you should try to memorize like a robot. These are things that are just naturally going to happen if you are genuinely interested in getting to know that person, knowing that the financial planning work that you're gonna do is going to be quite impactful for them. So show up ready to do that, and it's gonna go a lot better. Now, by the way, a side benefit to this is so much of our own psychology is tied to our physiology. If you open up and your shoulders are hunched and you're a little feeble and you don't feel like talking, your mind's gonna follow. Versus going back to that table topics, the Toastmaster's example, if I'm called upon and I stand up and I'm confident and I walk briskly and resolutely to where I want to go, my mind is going to follow. Our psychology follows our physiology. Your mind, your emotions can be controlled by the physical things that you do with your body. So let that be something that you're aware of. That the more you can jump into these meetings with confidence, exuding that confidence, and not even just the confidence, but the sincere desire to connect and know the person you're sitting across from, whether it's in person, whether it's on Zoom, that's going to come across, they're gonna perceive you differently, and you will perceive you differently. Your mind will follow what your body does first. So keep that in mind. That's the first thing to know. The second point that I'll make is somewhat related, but it doesn't matter so much what you say as much as how you say it. Now, when it comes to weather, to me, I try to avoid that just because every single Zoom meeting in the world opens up with how's the weather, it's a little tired. It's a little used and worn. The way I think about it is if I go right to how's the weather, I think my client is immediately putting me in a box with every other single Zoom meeting they've ever had. Here we go again. How's the weather? Neither of us really care. Let's get through the formalities so we can get on with it. That's at least how I think about it. But here's the counterpoint to that. When I first started dating my now wife, one of the things that was funny to me is Ashton's parents would always ask how the weather was. And you know, for the first couple of times we had a conversation, yeah, that made sense. You're just making it small talk. But they kept doing it. And at some point, I was like, what? Who cares how the weather is? In fact, you live 40 minutes from us. The weather's probably the exact same where you are as it is where we are. But then I came to realize they genuinely cared. They still ask how the weather is. That's still one of their first questions whenever we get together or whenever we're talking. And it's a genuinely thing they care about. Now, to me, I really couldn't care less about some of those things. But because it's genuine, it feels natural. It is natural. It doesn't matter what they're asking, it matters how they're asking it. They have a sincere desire to connect with me. And one of the things they actually like connecting about is the weather. If you love connecting with people about the weather, connect with people about the weather. I tend to stay away from other conversations unless the client asks at first. And again, to me, the second I go there, I'm being put in a box with every other Zoom meeting they had today and yesterday and for their entire lives because that's how everyone opens. I just like to jump into how's your day going? Oh, James is good. Just got busy with a few projects here. Oh, cool. Anything especially exciting that you're working on with any of those projects? Uh yeah, this or oh no, not really. But what it's doing is it's a genuine interest of what's actually going on in your life. I do care about that. Or maybe it's how's your day going? Great. I was with my grandchildren today. Awesome. How are your grandchildren doing? How many grandchildren do you have? What do you typically like doing with them? So to me, why I like asking some of these very basic but just very open-ended questions is it allows me to kind of gauge their willingness to engage. Sometimes I ask these questions, it leads to a great conversation. They want to talk about what they're doing, they want to talk about their day. Wonderful, I'll go with it. Sometimes I ask and say, how's your day going? Oh, it's good. Wonderful. Anything especially exciting? No, not really. Okay, cool. That's my cue that they're not rude people, but maybe they're not desiring to go into a deep conversation quite yet. Or maybe at least they want to start with the financial planning stuff, and then we can develop more of a relationship from there. So I tend to like to float some very softball questions. To me, how's the weather? That's kind of a dead-in question. It's either good or it's not good. Okay, what's next? How's your day going? What have you been working on? What, if anything, is exciting you about what you're working on? So just some of those things. There's nothing revolutionary, there's nothing insanely cool about those questions, but it gives me the opportunity to gauge where am I going to meet this client? Do they want to talk or do they want to get into the financial planning? So not being a dead-end question, having some openness, to me, that's what I like to do. And again, it's how you say it, not what you say. If you love the weather, ask them about the weather. If you love something that you found about them on LinkedIn or from a previous email correspondence or something they submitted ahead of time, talk about that. But talk about something. That ties into the third point here. The third point is people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. This was a lesson I learned. Now that's a Dr. Seuss quote, I think maybe someone else said it, but I'm pretty sure that's a Dr. Seuss thing. I was in my senior year of college and it was a servant leadership class. And for this class, we had a group project. And the project was we had to do a consulting project for one of the local school districts. And this consulting project, it involved surveying students, doing a lot of data analysis, coming back with formal recommendations. We did a lot of work over the entirety of this semester to deliver this final project. At the end of that semester, myself and my classmates, we prepared our presentation. We had a meeting with a couple people on the board there at the school district, and I jumped right into it. Here's all the data, here's what we did, here's the analysis, here's the findings, here's our recommendations, and that was it. Afterwards, my professor came up to me. His name is Jerry Yates, and this is a very impactful conversation. This is something I carry with me to this day. And he just very gently, very kindly asked me, How do you think that went, James? I told him, I said, I thought it went great. You know, everything that we wanted to say, we got to say. All the analysis that we uh came up with throughout the semester, we were able to deliver it. The recommendations we gave, I thought they were good. He sat there patiently, kindly, nodding his head, and he let me talk. And then when I finished, he said, Can I give you two pieces of feedback? I said, Yeah. So number one, you talked way too fast. That's a tendency of mine. Even this podcast, I'm realizing that I'm gonna go slower through the rest of it. But number two, and most importantly, that's where he told me that line. He said, James, people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. In other words, you went right into the findings, right into the analysis, the stuff that you thought they wanted to hear, and by the way, they did want to hear it. But until you build that little bit of rapport with them, until you connect the why. Why does this matter? Why does this matter for your students? Why does this matter for you? What's in it for you? How did the work that we do, how is it gonna impact and make your lives better, your students' lives better, your school district better, the analysis is not gonna really matter that much. So take the time. James, maybe next time ask them some questions about them, even if it's just basic small talk, even if it's just stuff that you don't feel like is contributing to the analysis, building that rapport, showing them I do care about you, I care about your success. I don't just care about this analysis because I did it and I think it's really cool. I care about it because it's going to lead to better outcomes for you. And by the way, not just this, but I care about you as a person. Can I take some time to learn a little bit about you? How long have you been with the school district? You know, we're doing a project for you, an analysis for you. What's the coolest project or analysis that you've ever been able to do and to deliver with your students? You know, just taking the time to actually hear about them. It might not seem like it matters, but it makes all the difference. People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. The first 15, 30, 45 seconds of a meeting is the perfect opportunity to show them how much you care. You don't need to learn their life story. You don't need to know everything about them. But by saying, I'm gonna set aside all the financial stuff for a second, and I'm just gonna spend time asking you genuine questions about you, even if they're incredibly basic, like how was your day, or how is the weather, or what are you most excited about right now? What that's showing is the stuff that we're gonna talk about. I know that it matters, but it does not matter more than you. It does not matter than my ability to know you and understand what's most important as you look forward to the future. Now, the fourth piece of practical advice here, this goes along with what I just mentioned, but it's the importance of setting an agenda. Let's say I am talking to a client that really wants to talk about how work's going, or their family or grandchildren, whatever it is. Maybe they're talking about their most recent trip to Spain, and you just took a trip to Spain, and before you know it, you're 20 minutes in, you're connecting, you're feeling like this is going great. We haven't talked about the numbers at all, but I feel like this person really knows me and trusts me. That's wonderful, but chances are good in the back of their mind they're saying, is James ever going to get around to talking about finances? Is James ever gonna take control of this meeting? Does James actually have a plan for what's going on here? So go deep with clients. Allow that to happen, but make sure that sometime within the first five minutes or so, you're absolutely setting an agenda. I think in most cases, this probably actually happens in the first minute or two. Hey, Tom, how's it going? Hey, Jane, how's it going? How's your day? What are you working on? What are you most excited about? How are the grandkids? Whatever it is, you come up with the questions that make sense to you. Don't cut them off as they're talking. But once it feels like they've answered that, once it feels like there's a natural point to say, hey, by the way, Jane, um, here's what I do want to talk about today. I want to make sure that we have a chance to learn more about what you're looking for, your goals, what you're most excited about. I want to make sure that I have a chance to give you an overview of root, of myself, of how we help clients in a similar position to you accomplish the goals they're looking for. And then finally, by the end of the meeting, let's have an open conversation of does it make sense to continue? Does it feel like this might be a good fit to do some work together? But before we do that, I would love to hear more about this trip to Spain. Now, if you do that, what's happened is you're giving Jane, you're giving Tom, you're giving whoever you're talking to permission to talk about that. And not just permission, but the confidence of knowing, okay, James is gonna keep us on track. James knows there's an agenda here. James knows what we need to get through. So now, as we're talking, it's not just free-form conversation where I'm gonna start to wonder, are we ever gonna actually get down to the business? There is structure. He's come prepared. He's going to lead this meeting. So I don't need to be worried about are we gonna get there or not? I can be fully free to connect with James and talk about my trip to Spain, talk about work, talk about my grandchildren to the extent that I want to. Now, other times you'll have people, how's it going? Great, anything you're working on? No? Okay, awesome. Well, hey, Tom, thanks so much for making time today. What I'd like to do today, and then go through the agenda. So again, that open-ended question, you're just lobbing up the pitch there. They can hit it if they want and continue with the conversation, or they can let it go. You as the advisor can sense that. You as the advisor can sense, okay, when is it time to allow them to talk? And when is it time to say, let's take control of this agenda, or let's at least present the agenda, and then get back into the talking. So, yes, be genuine. Yes, ask sincere questions, yes, do all those things, but don't forget the actual structure of at least saying up front, here's what we're going to do, which gives them the confidence and the trust in you, that you're going to take care of that, and they're free just to talk freely. They're free to talk about what's on their mind, knowing that you'll be able to run the meeting from there. So, as we wrap again, I once again want to emphasize the importance of this. This is your first impression. Don't go into these meetings feeling like you have to nail the perfect line. The perfect line doesn't exist. So let that take some of the pressure off your shoulders. Really, though, as we look at this first three things, the first three things being clients are taking their cues about how to perceive you from you. Doesn't matter what you say, it's how you say it, and the fact that people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. Those three things can be summarized and be a genuine person. Be genuinely excited to connect with your client. You don't have to remember those if you can just engage in a very genuine way. The fourth thing, the importance of actually setting an agenda early on in the meeting, that is something that you could be totally genuine and forget to set an agenda. So that's the more tactical piece here. That gives some structure, that gives the foundation to the overall warmth that you're going to provide in being that type of person that's excited to talk with his client because you're excited to know them and you're excited to help them. So, Noah, thank you for the question. This is a wonderful opportunity to talk about how do we make that first impression, why does it matter, and some basic tips that we can use to do so. If you're enjoying this podcast, please be sure to leave a review on Spotify and Apple Podcasts. If there's other growth-minded advisors that you know could benefit from this specific episode or from this podcast, please share it with them. The goal is to get this in as many hands as possible of growth-minded advisors looking to be the best they can be. Thank you for listening, and I'll see you all next time.