Ponder and Magnify: A Rosary Podcast

S1, E2 - The Agony in the Garden Bible Study (Luke 22: 39-46)

• Jessica Helling • Season 1 • Episode 2

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The mission of the Ponder and Magnify Podcast is to seek an encounter with Jesus through praying the rosary, relying on the grace of the Holy Spirit and the intercession of Mary. Join us as we dive into the First Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary! In this episode, Jess, John, and Fr. George discuss the account of Jesus' Agony in the Garden from Luke 22: 39-46. All Praise be to God!

Jess:

Hello and welcome to the Ponder and Magnify podcast, where our mission is to seek an encounter with Jesus through praying the rosary, relying on the grace of the Holy Spirit and the intercession of Mary. I am so happy that you are here. Today, I am joined again by my husband, john and Father George, and we are going to be focused today on the first mystery, First Sorrowful Mystery of the Rosary, the Agony in the Garden. Father George has graciously offered to open us up in prayer, so can I ask you to do that, Father George?

Fr. George:

Yeah, let's do it In the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit. Amen. Jesus, we thank you so much for this day. We thank you so much for your love for us. We thank and praise you in a particular way for entering into your agony in the garden. Jesus, we ask that the graces that you want for us in this particular mystery may be applied to our lives. Open our hearts to receive the more that you desire to give. Be with us, Help us to encounter you and your love for us. Jesus, we ask this in your name. Amen.

Jess:

Wow, I've never thought about that. The graces that you've won for us in this mystery, that's beautiful. I can't wait to take that to prayer. Thank you. Okay, guys, I want to hear where you're at. Where are our heads at right now? Father George, what's your one word or phrase to describe how you're feeling right now?

Fr. George:

I'd say the one word is really the word for the podcast ponder. That's really drawing me. I just feeling in a more kind of reflective mood and wanting to ponder and meditate on this particular mystery that's for us today. So what word or phrase stands out for you, John?

John:

Honestly, right now I'm feeling excited. You know we had our intro episode, but now it's time to dig in and dive in, so I'm excited to get after it. How about you, Jess? What's sticking out to you?

Jess:

I'm going to say reflective. Reflective definitely in regards to what we're about to do here on the podcast, but also in life outside of the podcast. We just put our youngest daughter to sleep and she will be one tomorrow and always on the birthday eve, if you will, for our children. I just have a reflective. It gets me in a reflective mood, a little nostalgic. John always encourages me. It's not just sad, let's be excited about what's to come in the next year too. But yeah, that's definitely present on my heart right now too. I can't deny that. But without further ado, father George, would you go ahead and read for us scripture on the agony in the garden. Let's go ahead and dive in.

Fr. George:

Absolutely A reading from the Holy Gospel according to Luke. Then going out, he went, as was his custom, to the Mount of Olives, and the disciples followed him. When he arrived at the place, he said to them Pray that you may not undergo the test. After withdrawing about a stone's throw from them and kneeling, he prayed, saying Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me. Still not my will, but yours be done. And to strengthen him, an angel from heaven appeared to him. He was in such agony and he prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground. When he rose from prayer and returned to His disciples, He found them sleeping from grief. He said to them, "Why are you sleeping? Get up and pray that you may not undergo the test." So I just invite you listeners, just to pause wherever you find yourself driving, or at home or at work and just take a few moments of silence, just to either go back and re-hear the scriptures again, or to pull out your own Bible in the gospel of Luke and just to pray and to sit with this particular passage and to notice what stands out to you, how the Lord might be speaking to you.

Jess:

John, anything sticking out to you?

John:

Yeah, I love the part of just Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me. Still, not my will, but yours be done. It jumped out to me immediately just because you know, in terms of personal struggles, or just you know personal crosses, you know I feel like it's natural but the first thing to do is say Lord, please take this away. Like no, thank you, and please, you know, relieve this of me.

John:

And um, and you know, sometimes I feel like in my life where stuff like that has come up, I've almost said like you know, but like, still let your will be done. But in the back of my head I'm just like, but please, let my will match up with your will, like let's just be on the same page here. And so just to like see that even Jesus was like you know, please take this away from me. But you know he still kind of had the wherewithal of, but have it still be, you know we're still going to go with your will. But just the human nature of Jesus coming through, or that human side of him saying please just take this away from me, and leaning to God to kind of take it off of his shoulders, just very, very relatable.

Fr. George:

I love that line, yeah, as well. Like it, it shows, as you said beautifully, Jesus' humanity and there's almost like the sense of like, like two wills inside of him, that like there is a part where, uh, yeah, like his feelings and like his you know, knowing what was about to happen and all the pain that he was going to be experiencing and suffering, that like it just it's going to automatically do that and like that's right. That's our own lives too. How often when we encounter physical, mental, spiritual suffering, that like we yeah, we recoil from that, like there's that we draw away from that, but yet, like the hope that is there right on the other side is. But then Jesus shows us that that doesn't have to define us, that we can still choose with this like deeper will, what in like theology we call like the intellectual will, where we can choose to accept, as Jesus did, what the father is asking and it can help us to rise above the feelings that we have to that choice.

John:

Can I ask you a question about that? Yeah, the other line that stuck out to me, though, is when he says that line, father, if you're willing, take this cup and to strengthen him, an angel from heaven appeared to him, and then, the next line being, he was in such agony and he prayed so fervently. The way I interpreted that was he asked God to take this cup away from him. An angel comes to help give him strength, and is that just like almost confirmation of like what's to come? And he's then in agony at just like still trying to accept that? I don't know, does that make?

Fr. George:

I think so, yeah, I think which is another encouragement for us that even like sometimes in our life, you know, we ask for God to send us strength and then he sends it to us.

Fr. George:

We don't always, like it doesn't necessarily take the feeling away, which is hard and kind of a mystery, that like, yeah, we don't feel perhaps that relief come right away.

Fr. George:

and this actually kind of ties in to kind of an insight or that, as I was praying with this particular passage, is that line where the angel came and ministered to him and his disciples had, you know, were off and had fallen asleep, and so Jesus was there in such loneliness and just in this really vulnerable spot, where then he shows us and he can confirm in us that we're not alone in our suffering.

Fr. George:

There's a time in my life where I remember very vividly praying with this mystery, when I was walking the seminary and I was feeling just a particular bout of loneliness. I was walking around the seminary building one night at nighttime and praying with this mystery, and the phrase that Jesus kind of showed was I'm going to change your loneliness into solitude, solitude with me, that you know that you're not actually alone, but you're alone with me. And so I don't know if this answers kind of kind of your question, like this sense of, yeah, the angel coming and ministering, and the Lord sent that angel to be with Jesus and the Lord sends the angels to be with us to know, yeah, perhaps maybe not to take the pain away, but to know that we're not alone in the midst of the pain. Does that make sense?

John:

Yeah, yeah, no, it does, and it's I don't know. It's just it's interesting to see kind of the I think you phrased it like the humanity in Jesus of even he felt like okay, but it's not exactly like shaping up how I want to right now, but still having that you know that love and support and know that, you know strength and endurance is coming in a different way and, however, I guess the problem you know, however, you need it. Yeah, that's beautiful.

Jess:

Yeah, to jump in too. I think for a long time or earlier in my faith, I really went to prayer seeking a change in my circumstances, like expecting God to change what was going around outside of me and then feeling disappointed when that didn't happen. And I feel like the more that I've journeyed in my faith and I still have a long way to go. But I realize that when I go to prayer my external circumstances can stay exactly as they are. It's an interior change that I am hoping for and longing for to kind of be able to withstand whatever is going on outside of me. But, john, I was excited that was the line that stuck out to you little husband wife connection I felt. That was the line that stood out to me too. Father, if you are willing, take this cup away from me. And I just again going back to the journey, this line, I think the devil truly planted some lies in my heart about this. Like, father, if you're willing, take this cup away from me. You are my Father. Of course you want my good, of course you don't want me to be suffering, and yet God doesn't take it away from Jesus. And to me it was almost like how could God do that? It was almost like is he a cruel father, which is clearly not in line of what we learn from the truth in the rest of the Bible.

Jess:

But I guess, again, as I've journeyed more and more, it's just really focusing on what the posture of the Father was while Jesus was in agony in the garden.

Jess:

And just by the grace of the Holy Spirit and the gift of imagination, there was one time I was praying this and it just really struck me that everything that Jesus does is a revelation of the Father's heart, and so Jesus being in agony is a revelation that the Father's heart is also in agony and I just imagine the Father just like in tears, just like responding to Jesus, like my son, my son just wanting so bad to change it, but also surrendering a degree of his power to human freedom and knowing that something beautiful he would make something beautiful out of that.

Jess:

But I just think that's a huge thing is how we imagine God, the Father, what his posture is when we're asking him to take this away from us, and I think that is the truth that so often for me the devil tries to distort and turn me away from it. The Father does not want my suffering. He does not rejoice in that. He rejoices in my joy, and that's what he's constantly redirecting everything to. But yeah, this, that line has really taken so many different shapes as I've journeyed on in my faith.

Fr. George:

Yeah, I just love this revelation into the heart of the Father in that particular moment, that he's not a cold or uncaring father, but someone who sees us and knows what we're going through. And then is, yeah, as you beautifully said, like Jesus is the revelation of the love of the father and that, again, that we're not alone and that he cares deeply about us and is with us. I'd say for me, the other line that stood out to me was he was in such agony and he prayed so fervently that his sweat became like drops of blood falling on the ground. It's only in Luke's gospel that we actually hear this line of the sweat like drops of blood. And when I pray this decade a lot of times, I have a pretty consistent intention when I pray it and, for me, this mystery, I pray a lot for people that suffer from mental illness, because, like those who suffer from anxiety and depression, it's such it's agony.

Fr. George:

If you can feel like such agony, um, and you know, it's almost like this moment where it's like, is jesus almost having like a panic attack, like, or something like that, that he's in such agony and he's he's's praying so fervently and the the you know, sympathetic nervous system is so high and ratcheted up that, like he is in just such pain that it becomes like the drops of blood and so in a particular way that Jesus is close to those in this mystery and the graces that are in this mystery the Lord reaches out and extends to those who suffer from mental illness in a particular way Again, as I've kind of like said several times, to know that we're not alone and to give that strength and to know that he is praying fervently for you, for me, for those who experience just that anxiety, that depression, that any kind of mental illness, that he loves us and he's praying fervently for us and he's taken on and redeemed that suffering and can make it fruitful for us in our lives

John:

That's, that's amazing.

John:

I've never like thought about it like that. Um, I mean, I don't know how this, this gospel, compares to the others and and portraying the scene. But yeah, just the anxiety and like the I mean the idea of like Jesus having a panic attack, it's, you know, it's something I never considered and yet that's something that everyone has to some degree, you know, maybe not a full blown panic attack but people have felt anxiety and stress you know, just that, I don't know. I think any chance to see Jesus more relatable is. I don't know, that's a gift, it's cool.

John:

I never thought about it that

John:

way

Jess:

The last thing that's kind of coming to my mind as we're talking is just this idea that you know, we've already said.

Jess:

It can be painful that God allows us to suffer or lets that suffering happen at times without interrupting it, even though we know that he could interrupt it.

Jess:

But he's letting human freedom or the freedom of the world prevail, for whatever reason, I don't know.

Jess:

But just Jesus suffered and yet we know that Jesus was his only begotten son, so beloved, and so when we suffer, it is not a sign that we are not loved, it's not a sign that we deserve punishment, it's not a sign of these things where sometimes our internal voice can be such a harsh critic and then we suffer on top of it and we think that we are to deserve that. And just remembering that our suffering puts the father into heartbreak and heartache over us like deeper longing for us and I just I think that's so beautiful to see, to see here in the garden and really think about All right, father George, john, thank you so much for these beautiful reflections and really sharing your hearts. I know that our listeners will benefit and thank you, Holy Spirit, for showing up and really guiding our conversation. Please know that we will be praying for you and we ask you to please keep us in your prayers as well.

Jess:

Praise be to God.