They Murdered Me — My Akashic Records Session Revealing a Past Life as a Benedictine Monk at Westminster Abbey

They murdered me.

In this episode, I share an Akashic Records session where I experienced a lifetime as a Benedictine monk in Westminster Abbey, revealing the origin of deep self-punishment and self-sabotage patterns that have carried into my present life.

Through this session, I am taken to a defining moment within that lifetime — a moment of abandonment, spiritual control, and forced self-punishment — and shown how these experiences created vows and beliefs that continued to influence my behaviour more than 700 years later.

You’ll hear:
 • A real-time Akashic Records session entering a past lifetime as a monk
 • The origin of self-punishment and self-sabotage patterns
 • How spiritual authority and abandonment shaped lasting beliefs
 • A moment of healing and release through higher guidance

This episode is for you if you are:
 • Experiencing self-sabotage or harsh inner criticism
 • Feeling blocked despite doing “all the work”
 • Curious about Akashic Records, past lives, and spiritual healing

Start Here: Understanding Channeling & Spiritual Transmissions
 If you are new to this podcast, begin with:
 • Archangel Zadkiel channeling sessions
 • True Wealth channeling session with Diane and Katie

Thank you to Cindy Porter for this insight into my soul!

Transcript

Akashic records reveals THE lifetime Katische learnt to punish herself- 700 years ago!

Katische: Welcome back to the Infinite Life Podcast. I'm your host, Kati Haberfield, and this week we have quite the episode for you to start with. We'll start on a light note and we will listen to an unsolicited recording that I received on the podcast recorder about past lives and the impact that they can have positively on your life and your career.

Scott's message has a positive and uplifting undertone to it, and he will be one of our guests coming shortly, so be sure to watch out for Scott's podcast episode Coming soon mean The majority of this podcast episode is however very emotionally dense, so I'm giving you this warning right now. If you're not up for it, you might wanna come back and listen to this episode later.

Why? This episode is another episode where we delve into my past lives. So we've already covered one of them in the very first episode of the podcast where we looked at a spontaneous past life realization that I had involving being a monk, um, in Tibet, and how that unfolded in my life. Well, in this episode, we're going to be looking at another spiritual lifetime, however, this time.

This is a spiritually dense lifetime, and so in lifetimes we have spiritually dense, or traditionally we might call those negative lifetimes and positive lifetimes and even lifetimes where we just have it easy and nothing much happens. But this one is a particularly dense lifetime. So just warning about that.

The purpose of sharing this with you is for you to understand the powerful reasons behind why you would want to investigate your past lives and why it's important as part of doing the work and understanding the journey that your soul has taken across time. And I do feel that if you're gonna learn from me through listening to these podcast episodes that I'm no better or worse than anybody else, I've had many, many incarnations, both good and interesting, and I'm here to share them with you so that you can gain an insight into somebody else's lifetimes.

You may learn from me or get your own aha. Insight. So we'll be having a look at a particular spiritual lifetime, which had a. Negative impact because it created limiting beliefs due to my experiences and vows that I've carried over my lifetime since then. In fact, they've been carried along with me for over or because we can't be precise around 700 years.

So I want to let you know, however, that it ends on a happy note and I end the episode reframing the experiences that I had in that lifetime so that you can see the lessons that I'm able to take into it right now in 2022 and how that will affect my life from this point forward. So I just wanna remind you before we go any further that we're about to go into a spiritually intense session.

What you're about to hear is actually a little bit more of an introduction from me about the background or the backstory to why I did this session. And then we're gonna dive deep straight into an Aach records session and you will hear me experience intent, intense emotions, and you may feel distressed.

However, with any distress and intense emotion there is the positive impact that we gain on the other side as we gain healing and release from negative emotions in other lifetimes. So if you're ready, you might wanna. Pause this recording. Grab a glass of water or a cup of tea, and get settled comfortably, and come and join me on another journey to one of my past lifetimes.

Hello, Katische. Uh, my name 

Scott: is Scott Ohlgren I'm from Florida. Uh, we've never met, but I wanted to just give you a thumbs up on the work that you're doing with your podcast. Um, I believe that connecting with or remembering life beyond this life and life before this life is one of the true hidden keys to fulfilling what, what we basically are as humankind.

And I say that because I had a few extremely powerful glimpses into my own life, beyond and before my life when I was in my twenties. And it, um, altered the course of my life and it put me into studying plant medicine and diet and ended. I ended up writing a few books on that. Uh, I see that you're from Queensland.

I lived north of your, of you in a tiny little town called Coolum for about six months back in the early eighties when I was traveling the world for a few years. I absolutely fell in love with uh, Queensland. No need to write back or call me back. Just keep doing what you're doing and know that it is impacting people far beyond what you may realize.

All the best.

Katische: Okay, so it is time for the background. Today's episode before we get into the record session. So this past life revelation is two years in the making, I think it is, and the origination of why. I wanted to actually find out about this past life is frustration. Now, if you know anything about frustration, you know that frustration means that you are out of alignment with your higher self.

You are not experiencing life that your soul wishes to just to experience it in that way. So, I've been frustrated for a very long time, and even more than just frustrated, was when people would tell me to be patient and things would work themselves out. Somebody who's frustrated wants it to happen right now, and it, it makes it worse when you ask them to be impatient.

So my frustration to give you the 22nd version of it was I was an am highly educated person. I got my master's degree at 21. I got the Dean's Academic Award for Academic Excellence, getting a 6.58 out of a seven for my academic score. Um, I got hired into the largest management consultancy in the world, in the graduate recruitment program.

And from that moment on, I thought my life was set. I was planning to do a short stint in Australia, then go overseas to the uk, then head over to the usa and I imagined that I would be some kind of a big rig corporate ceo. Life hasn't worked out that way. Life had other plans and mostly my plans have involved a lot of resiliency, a lot of changes of career, a lot of heartbreak and a lot of scratching of my head, wondering, what have I done wrong?

If you were to view my lifetime, and many of you who listen to the podcasts have known me for a long time, you would say, well, she's ticked all the check boxes. She's done all the studies, and every time she identifies a limiting belief or a school that she needs, she upgrades and she learns more. She's not one to sit back and watch TV just for the sake of it.

So I've studied the mind for as long as I can remember. I have read everything about, um, limiting beliefs. I understand emotions. I've watched every Tony Robbins video there. I was, I've done eft, I've done hypnosis. I have done so many healing modalities. I have done mindset courses in just about everything you could think of, but still, things haven't worked out the way I thought they would.

So, In 2021, I think it was. I finally got so frustrated. Yes, it was at the very beginning of 2021. I got so frustrated that I actually withdrew myself out of everything and decided that the cause of anything that I haven't hadn't achieved or accomplished in my lifetime was nothing to do with the present life.

I'd covered every field that there could be about examining my present lifetime. I had done so much writing and study with limiting beliefs. I mean, you can go all the way back to back to my first years in university and, uh, straight after it when I used to do 70 times sevens writing with left hands, um, with Michael Jimeno Roland, if any of you remember him from way back when.

Like I've done the work for a long time, so I decided. Bug of this, it's not present life. Let's start investigating the past life. I was lucky enough to win a quantum healing session with Sandra Biskind and I'm hoping to get in contact with her so that we can do a special podcast episode about the quantum healing session and what we, uh, revealed because it's directly rebel, relevant to this life that we're going to reveal today cuz it's the same life.

So, however, the issues and things that we identified with Sandra were from the childhood of this particular life that we're going into today. Whereas what I just revealed this week is from the adult section of that lifetime. So you can imagine it's quite a big, meaty, chunky lifetime in terms of limiting beliefs and core wounds.

So Sandra identified that it, it was my core wound of abandonment that had been impacting my lifetime. Anne was impacting amongst many other things, uh, money blocks and money limiting beliefs. However, as amazing as Sandra Biskind is, and I would highly recommend you work with her, I really wanted to do the next step, which was prove it to myself, prove to myself that I actually had the lifetime that she saw and understand it further.

And this is where I started to come into blocks where I could not access the records by myself. And when I tried to do past life for aggression myself, I could not see anything. Anyway, to cut a long story short, there'd probably be a couple of episodes on this, but, um, the dense lifetimes that I have lived, uh, that were acquired by my soul to achieve certain things actually created.

Spirit attachments and other situations which were impacting upon my present lifetime here in 20 20 21, 20 22 and before. So once we cleared those, um, it was divine timing to have met the Ghost Helper, Tina Irwin. And if you haven't listened to Tina's episode, please go back and listen to that after this.

Then I decided, okay, I want to do and try Theca records again. So I got in contact with the wonderful Cindy Porter and we set an intention for the session. Now, the session's intention was set. After we had a discussion, we, I'd been in contact with her for many, many months and in the end it boiled down to a very frank discussion we had, which is good.

I like frankness. And she said to me, look. There is no reason you should be blocked from entering the ca records, except by the fact that you are blocking yourself. Now, here we go. This is where I bird up again, as you can imagine, cuz if you tell me that I'm doing something wrong, that I've caused it, my, I'm, I'm gonna put up my fist cuffs.

Yeah, I'm gonna get angry because I know that I, I haven't. But by the time she walked through with it, walked me through it and explained to me that it possibly wasn't me of this lifetime that was creating these blocks. It's me who has set in place a form of self punishment from other lifetimes. So that made sense to me.

That really resonated with me. And what we set the intention for the session was to, was several things. The most important was to find the first lifetime, the earliest memory whereby I put in place a form of self punishment. That would then turn into self-sabotage in other lifetimes and this present lifetime.

So looking for the root cause effect, uh, to also identify vows and limiting beliefs that I made as a result of this self punishment. And for me personally, I wanted to verify if it was relevant, some of the incarnations that had been identified by Sandra bi, Sandra and Daniel Biskin, because they'd identified four, and I hadn't seen them myself.

I'd begun to see them in the past couple of weeks, but I really wanted to, in my own mind, verify them. So that's the backstory. And I'm just going to tell you very quickly what we did find before I let you listen yourself. So we did find abandonment. We did find really self punishment. The physical kind, lack of trust.

And a disconnection from source. So pretty intense. But you'll hear through the CHE records session that we were able to understand the purpose of this really dense lifetime to gain healing in the CHE records. And importantly, to verify also for myself, if you listen to the episode with Courtney Dylan, who my primary spirit guide is for the moment, for this lifetime right now in 2022, and who my, um, art Angel is because I had ideas, but I hadn't had anyone else verify it with me.

So sometimes you, you feel like you just need somebody there so you don't feel like you're making it up. So we did that as well. Before we get into the recording session, I just wanna let you know that there will be a little bit of noise interference from birds in the background. I've done my best to minimize this, but once you get through the recording, it'll go into the background.

Anyway, I have edited the first part so that we are pretty close to just entering into being at the footsteps of the doors of the KA records. Now, the important thing for you to note is prior to this session, every time I tried to attempt to get into the ca records, the doors wouldn't open. Okay. Uh, the most memorable time was when I was trying to see if I should train for the ca records with, um, a spiritual mentor, Joanna Hunter.

And the doors not only slam and shut, they were the doors like that of a castle, but the doors molded over and went all mossy as if, uh, something out of a forest and then whizzing over my shoulder came arrows. They went into the door and I knew. Step away. Girlfriend, you're not allowed in. Turns out it was me, a former incarnation of myself doing that, but luckily for all of us, and you know that it's a happy ending because we're in able to get into Theca records.

Otherwise, you wouldn't be hearing the rest of this podcast episode. I was able to resolve that through a lot of hard work on my behalf with understanding the various roles we play overall incarnations, doing a lot of deep searching, understanding light and dark understanding spirits, understanding really the truth of what you attract in life.

And then practicing, oh my God, practicing so much past life regression. Hours and hours and hours of practicing by myself so that I was ready to work with a professional to go into Theca records. I was also willing for the session to reveal things that were different to what the intention of the session was, if that was in the highest interest of my soul.

So I set the intention with Cindy and then detached so that my soul and my highest self and my spirit guides would direct us to the lives that were of the most relevance and most important to me in the here and the now. Then as you'll hear, I had to give myself permission to actually open the records, so I'll be quiet now and I'll let you experience with me the entire KA record sessions just for one of the lives.

We had two revealed, I'll be honest with you, but I'm not gonna share the second one right now. It's enough to share the first dense lifetime for today. So here we go.

Cindy: So we'll close our eyes and let's going. So let's 

nice steep working and 

hold it and 

breathe out and again

and out.

So breathing in, beautiful white, golden light breathing, any stagnant, unused.

As you're breathing in beautiful 

white, golden light, 

feeling your body

letting go, all these dresses and strains of your day letting go,

how many of the attached spirits surrounding you?

You can imagine roots 

growing out of the bottom of your 

feet 

starting to grow down 

deep. Deep down into Mother Earth, spreading out far and wide down deep in Mother Earth. Roots are 

growing 

down, down until they get to the center of Mother Earth. Wrapping around the beautiful crystal center.

As they wrap around the center, you start to feel amazing, beautiful, loving energy coming up through the roots, coming up through the souls of your feet, up your legs, and starting to feel your whole body with beautiful, unconditional love spreading. Right up through your body, all the way up through the top of your head.

As it gets to the top of your head, this beautiful golden 

light energy starts to spread out and 

around you, and it's creating a beautiful, golden bubble

of golden white light energy all around you. You and you alone are safe in this bubble. There is only you. There are no attached spirits, no other entities, just you. You are safe and protected. As you breathe in 

gold 

and white light, the bubble expands getting ever larger and larger around you, and ever lighter and brighter around you.

As we breathe in more gold and white energy, you start to lift off from Mother Earth and slowly going higher and higher, up towards farther sky, 

breathing in the 

beautiful, golden white light in your beautiful, safe bubble, feeling lighter and brighter, lighter and brighter, and brighter.

And lighter and brighter as we go up through farther sky

breathing in the golden white light. We are light 

gently on the big stone 

steps of the records hall in front of you at two giant 

doors. Can you see them?

Katische: Yes. Sorry to talk. 

It's.

Cindy: The door handles and put your hands on the doors and gently push them open and lemme know when you've done that. 

Katische: Yep, they're done. They're opened. As soon as you said that they were there. They flu open 

Cindy: just inside the doors you should be able to see your spirit guide waiting there.

Can you see them?

Katische: Well just see wings. Beautiful. 

Cindy: I have asked all the angels to come in and help us 

today. I'll protect you. 

Katische: No, I see Jeshua's face now. Excellent.

Cindy: They're going lead us to your Akashic records room. 

So I'd like you to 

follow them along the corridors until you, your room and let me know you arrive there.

I'll gently called you along the way.

Katische: Okay. I think I'm here. 

Cindy: Okay. Have you stepped into the room? 

Katische: I just see the doorway. Feels like it's been a long walk. 

Cindy: Yep. Sometimes it is. Okay. Put your hand on the door, open it and step in

in front of you. There should be a desk and a chair. Let's see it.

Can I see that?

Katische: Um,

see like shelves to the left 

and 

then it's not very attractive room. Like a, a desk up against a concrete wall. 

Cindy: Yep. Okay. Let's go sit down at the.

Let know when you're sitting at the desk. Mm-hmm. ? 

Katische: Yes.

Cindy: Okay. So now we are gonna ask your spirit guide to please bring us a record 

that shows where 

you first felt 

the need to punish yourself for something 

that you have done.

Your spirit guide is gonna go off and grab that record book for us and bring it back to the desk. Please let me know when the book has arrived in front of you.

They may need to think about which is the most appropriate.

I'm sensing they're having some discussion 

about which record to show you. Yeah. I feel like the energy of a book wanting to fly off the shelf, but it's not appearing in front of me yet. Yeah. It's like it keeps being sent back 

sometimes. We are not 

actually ready 

to learn what we're asking, so I'm going to get you to please give yourself permiss.

To read the record that's required to help you with this self-punishment issue. So if you just, I'll give myself counseling. 

Katische: I give myself permission 

to read this record, to read 

this 

record and reveal where my self punishment 

comes from, reveal where my self punishment comes from.

I see. Like a Gold Bound Triple Decker book. Yep. So it's like a very big record. Yeah. 

It, you know, like, 

In like the Tudor times, they had that elaborate writing and pictorial stuff, and there's like a gold bound book with gold on the edges. 

Cindy: Yep. That's the kind of thing that I see that that is the same 

book that I am seeing, so that's okay.

Okay. Okay. What I want you to do is put your hand on 

the book and tell me what sensation you get, please.

Katische: Nervous. 

Cindy: Okay. 

Please reassure yourself that you are protected. You are surrounded by angels. There is nothing to fear 

here.

You are safe, you are in control, and you are protected.

Okay.

Do you still feel nervous?

Katische: Of I'm 

just feeling, uh, crying. I don't why. 

Cindy: That's okay. Let it out. Emotions to through us.

Let it out. You're safe and you are protected.

Okay. 

Katische: I like a elaborate table of contents or something like that. 

Cindy: Okay. What I'm gonna 

do is I'm gonna 

ask your spirit guide, so please open 

the book. To the page. That is how best serve you in understanding this record. So your guide will book to a certain

me, you see the page each open.

Katische: It's, it's open. But before it opened, I got the, I don't, I don't see any writing on it, but what I saw was, uh, a figure come out of the pages.

Cindy: Okay. 

Does that make sense? Like a, a character? Yeah. 

I, I never see writing on my pages. Okay. So, That's perfectly normal. Okay. What we're going to do, if you're feeling comfortable enough, is 

hand 

on the open pages

and if you still feel okay.

Do you feel okay with your hand on the open pages?

Katische: Um, yeah. I, I just sense myself as a, a tall, thin man in monks robes. Excellent. Okay. 

Cindy: What we're gonna do is we're gonna actually step right 

through 

into that lifetime, ok? So we're gonna go through, into that lifetime, remembering that you are in control. You are completely safe and you are 

protected. So as we step through, 

what I want you to do is firstly look down at your feet and tell me what you see.

Katische: Like these brown mocca in these slippery things. 

Cindy: Ok. , what 

about the, are you 

standing on a field, a road 

to start to look from your feet? 

Katische: And it's like inside in a chamber and it's not like tiles, but it's like a material that was used from a long time ago to create a a surface for an indoor area for a floor. So it's stone and cold, but it's been shaped to be the equivalent of a modern floor, but in old times.

Does that make sense? 

So it's not dirt. 

Cindy: Yep. Absolutely. 

Okay. So start to look up and look around and describe what else you can see from where you are.

Katische: It's like, do you know if you go into Westminster Cathedral in 

Hm.

It's like an Abbey. 

Cindy: Yep. 

Katische: It's like when you go downstairs in Westminster Abbey. 

Cindy: Yep. Breathing in. Yeah, breathing in. 

Katische: You know, how they have all the tombs and of the sacred relics and the out of bound areas for the public more down 

type area. Yeah. 

It's like being down in there. 

Cindy: Okay.

Can you, of why you're there if you just feel into that,

Katische: um, the words that came to my mind that don't match the pictures, but are the feeling are time out, bad, punished, forbidden knowledge.

Cindy: Okay. 

Katische: Like, I read a book I wasn't supposed to. 

Cindy: Yep. 

Katische: Questioning authority. So it's like I'm in a, a room bereft of anything else. 

Cindy: Yep. So is it, uh, do you feel like you've been put in, you want of a, a cell like a day?

Katische: No, it doesn't feel like I'm, you're not like, lock up. I'm not punished like locking the keys prison. It's like, go think about yourself, son. Okay. You know, like when you get scolded by your father, you've disappointed me. 

Cindy: Okay. So thinking 

about that. Oh, are you okay?

Katische: It was punishment, but it was before. So if I take off my robe, I have lashings. 

Cindy: Okay.

And if, in other 

words, 

Katische: if you words asshole come to mind, 

Cindy: about yourself or 

about who did that to you? 

Katische: About he who did that? 

Yeah, I know who it is.

Cindy: Now what I want you to do is, what we wanna do is we wanna try and go back for the punishment.

And see what it was exactly that you did to receive this punishment. Are you able to see?

Katische: No, but I, I'm being shown, I don't know, this is avoidance, but I'm, I'm being shown, you know, like the scene from the Da Vinci code where there's that awful evil mon who wears that stupid belt around his thigh where he gets it tighter and tighter so it bleeds and then he self flags. I'm being shown, like I was expected to do that and I didn't want to, so they did it for me.

Cindy: Do you? Okay. 

All right, so can you see at all, 

is this 

actually a punishment or 

is self punishment part of what you've been educated in this lifetime and expected to do as part of your religious 

beliefs of the lifetime? 

Katische: I've been taught to do it.

Cindy: And your questioning its validity? 

Katische: They tell me that it casts out evil spirits, but I think that I'm not evil, that I am pure, but they say that because I was abandoned at birth as an orphan, that I must be evil.

Cindy: Okay. 

Katische: Because nobody would abandon their child. 

Cindy: Yep. Okay. All right. 

Katische: Nasty. Okay. 

Cindy: Do you feel very alone?

Katische: Yes. 

I feel alone even though I am in the house of God.

Cindy: All right. I think that you need to tell yourself that you are not. You tell your past myself. You're not alone, . You are there with them always. The angels are there with them. Always

and relay that to them. That's piece in that

knowing that theirs are correct, they're not evil. You were loved. They're not alone. Just despite what happens, they're truly loved.

Now

is that easing?

Katische: I always look to the light that comes in through the stained glass windows, and I know it anyway, but it's hard to be surrounded by people who are supposed to be 

Cindy: absolutely

Katische: pure but acting in a way that is not congruent with my beliefs.

Cindy: Yes. 

Katische: Not the same as I believe the teachings are meant to be. 

Cindy: Spiritual wounds run deep.

So I want you to give 

it as much comfort as you can to your past life self,

and spend a few minutes giving him comfort.

And then I'm going to get you to tell your goodbyes,

remembering that you are always, you're protected. Always 

loved, 

always.

Katische: Jeshua Reminds me that he said forgive them father, for they know not what they do.

Cindy: Perfect words. Wow.

Katische: He shows me his hands.

And holds them up to me.

Its 

transfer the healing so that I can hear my 

own wounds

by holding 

my hands to them

to activate

the heat transfer for myself.

yeah,

they heel immediately.

And he's ready to

walk out of the room. 

Cindy: Okay. 

Katische: Meaning Jeshua,

Cindy: let's,

okay, so now we're gonna step back.

Let me know when you get here. Back at the desk.

Katische: You know I didn't bring a tissue . 

Cindy: Yep. Okay.

So from there what we going do is I'm going to get our spirit guides to take this record with us

 Down to the coldron of the violet flame.

We're going to heal this record permanently for you. So

just 

get up 

and follow your spirit guide. I know you outta the room and down to the Violet Flame Cauldron.

Katische: Yep. Okay. See it now. 

Cindy: So you can see the beautiful big cauldron and a 

gorgeous violet flame 

and we the, and ourselves with the beautiful 

healing of the violet flame. 

You can see it washing over you. Gorgeous violet light feeling, deepest 

parts, your

easing, your

taking away, your need to punish yourself.

Katische: Mm-hmm. I've got very strong facial features. You know? 

Cindy: Yep. 

Katische: Like Kylo Ren in Star Wars. 

Awesome. 

Ugly but beautiful at the same time.

Cindy: Feel that violent flame wash right over you,

and you should start feeling peaceful and calm, and you stay here and bathe in this healing light.

How are you starting to feel? Nows better. Excellent. I'll stay here for a few more minutes

over you,

and when you're feeling completely relaxed again,

you'll say goodbyes to our spirit guides, and make our way back down the corridors and out the front doors. Take your time.

Hello. Let me know when you're out the front doors.

Katische: I have great resistance. 

Cindy: Okay. Then what we're gonna do instead is we are gonna go back to your records room and sit back down at the table

and let me know when you get back there.

Do you feel 

any resistance to going back there? 

Katische: No. I feel like

just ludicrous, but I feel like there's like, it's not possible, but I feel like there's an angel hovering above me with a cloud and a shower. You're being cleansed. 

Cindy: And still giving you healing to enjoy it.

Take it all in.

Katische: Giving me a towel to dry down like a fluffy, ridiculous white hotel tower.

Cindy: love that.

Katische: Told you it was gonna be a little rough, didn't I? And I can tell you took me several days to get over, get through that I was relieved that I could confirm. The lifetime that was revealed with Sandra. And I was interested that this was a different proportion of the lifetime. And so what has taught me is that we learn and have revealed elements from each lifetime as we are ready to have them revealed.

And that we don't have it all revealed just at once because we can only deal with so much at a time. So just because you've discovered a past lifetime doesn't mean that it's necessarily finished with the learnings. You can revisit it if it's necessarily needed for your soul. So one of the things that I wanted to point out with that past life reveal was I wanted to talk about a couple of, uh, things that you might have found disturbing in that episode.

Monks and self punish. Now, I'm not making this up. This I've done, uh, historical research, um, about this is that the Catholic church did,

I'm not sure if recommend is the right word, but it is well known in history that the Catholic church did have punishment, four monks that was widespread in the medieval times, and it was to do with self punishment. Okay? So self punishment is the act of inflicting physical or psychological harm on yourself for your perceived misdeeds.

Now, the Catholic Church, basically, you can look at Opus day's websites, even today. Today, the Opus Day, which is not the lifetime that I was in, but the Opus Day has a statement about self punishment. But basically the church saw that self punishment was a way of joining oneself to Jesus. Self punishment helps resist your natural drive to personal comfort because it prevents us from loving God and serving others for the love of God.

So in the church's beliefs, at that time, comfort was seen as evil. Okay? Because it took you away from God and from Jesus and from serving. So hence renunciation. A lot of people who have spiritual lifetimes, specific spiritual lifetimes, like as a nun or monk, will have pronunciation issues.

One, um, other thing that I wanted to let you know about was that as you could hear, And if you're seeing this on YouTube, you'll have been able to see this whole session, is that Yeshu was there to guide me through this reveal. And the thing that I learned from the themes of abandonment in that past life is that I have never been alone.

That I have always been surrounded by love because I am connected to source. I am from source just as you are. And I also learn importantly, the thing that came to me when I left the session with Sydney, sorry, Sid. Cindy, I actually know somebody called Sydney. Was that. In no way, shape or form did Jesus ever want human beings to self punish themselves, to whip themselves like he was whipped before he was put on the cross.

That is not the point that has been misconstrued historically. Okay? Self punishment is not Jesus's lesson to you. It's not his legacy. His legacy is compassion and love. Enough said about that. The scene that I had at the time being at Westminster Abby, the time, I thought maybe it was just an illustration of another Abby, because when I have done past life regressions where I actually could see things, I did a few of Brian, Dr.

Brian Vices, or V however you wanna say, it's, um, past life regressions. And I always saw the arches, the long, um, Pathways, the kind of the cobbled stones, and then a green section in the middle in

between the archways. So they called the cloisters. And originally I had discounted my own visions because I thought I was imagining something out of Harry Potter. You know how they have the courtyard and they go through all those archways? So I learned that that's not true. I learned that Westminster Abbey is the right place.

And if you watch the YouTube version of this podcast, I'm going to upload two points or two photographs that I found, which actually provided me with an emotional reaction, a visceral emotional reaction today. So one was off the chapter house. The chapter house is in an octagonal room.

Which is where the monks and the um, the head of the aey met. And in this octagonal room, this is where the lessons of the week were delivered and where punishment was delivered. So you would meet there for a meeting and then you were punished. Okay. The interesting thing about that is when I saw the picture of the octagonal room, cuz I went and I had a look back at Westminster Abbey.

I have been to Westminster Abbey and I have been down to the areas where I am talking about, I went in 1995 I think it was, and I kind of felt very spooked when I went to West Westminster, Abby, even getting tongue tied thinking about it. Um, I really needed to know what was downstairs and I did, um, I was very drawn down there.

I also, um, when Kate and Wills were married 10 years ago, I watched the whole wedding and I was uncontrollably crying during that wedding. I am a Royals fan, so part of that was being happy Joy. Part of it was the contrast. It was literally just as I was making a decision to leave my marriage. Uh, but I think there was also some other emotional side effects that came through.

The second part to that was that when I then looked for what I have seen in my eyes as that room where I was, where I was told to go sun, to reflect on my sins and my misdeeds. I found the room, which is called the P y X, the picks chamber, pikes chamber. And it's one of the only remaining rooms in Westminster Abbey, which is from the original 11th century Abbey.

And when you look at the drawings, the drawings match exactly. So if you find a black and white drawing it, ma, which is exactly what I saw in my mind. And when I saw the photograph of it, um, I got a sharp pain in my heart and my heart started pounding and I got really nauseous. So when I saw the picture of the chapter house, the room where the punishment was delivered, I got dizzy And um, I continued on to find the, the, the chamber where I was then given time to reflect on my sins.

And that's where I, um, got the heart sensation. So I believe I found the right, right place. And if you go and then you, uh, studios like me and you go and search up for the original Benedictine monk, um, documentations and the research the scholars have, you'll see that monks were, it says on the Westminster Abbey website, monks were punished in the octagonal room.

Now the interesting part about that is that I can't be in octagonal rooms, and I'll put a picture for you here of,

I used to be, um, the marketing person, not. Obnoxious to have called myself the marketing manager. But I had a dual role once upon a time as the marketing person for Casa Grain Wines in Port Macquarie and Hun Hill Wines in the Hunter Valley. They were owned by the same person, and when we acquired One Broke Road, which is now the, the site of the Salor and Vineyards, originally it was a small church and it moved.

I just cut the sequence of that too. Um, it moved from the small church into the huge monro of a Salor one broke road. I went in there with James Kirby, who's the, who was then the owner of Hungerford Hill Wines, and I walked into the cellar door and I got nauseous immediately. I got dizzy immediately and I had to leave that room.

I was like, I cannot be in this room. I got immediately sick. So think what you write. But I think there is also a correlation between octagonal rooms and a visceral emotional reaction in this lifetime. So what have I done for myself since this discovery? Well, I have this beautiful little book that my friend gave me, and I have been journaling for days about the insights from the Kas record sessions, and I have reframed the limiting beliefs.

It's always important to do this with your hand. And so I have written things like I am always in the company of God. Yes, sure. And my arch angels and love. I am never separated from God. I am of God. There is nothing that I need to do to join myself with Jesus. Jesus is of source, as am I. We are always connect.

I love and serve God and others in every moment, just by existing personal comfort, allows me to take care of myself and gives others permission to do so as well.

And there's some other ones there that I'm going to lead for the episode when we cover it with Sandra Biskin, which relate specifically to children, my role with children in lifetime, and then vows of poverty, renunciation and money blocks. So thanks for joining me on this wild journey into my past. If there's any chance that any of this resonated with you and you think that you have been harming yourself through self-sabotage, then do let me know.

Go to kish.com and book in for an introductory session and let's uncover your story because you deserve to be free of vows and limiting beliefs from past lifetimes. It's time for your soul to move forward now. Namaste