Episode 106 - What’s Your Motivation? How Remembering Your ‘Why’ Can Turn Resistance Into Joy

We trace the quiet shift from “have to” to “choose to because,” showing how intention turns chores, work, healing, and conflict into meaningful acts. We share simple heart-centered tools to check alignment, reduce pressure, and act from purpose without burnout.

• reframing have to into choose to because
• everyday examples across chores, work, caregiving
• healing and health as devotion, not control
• conflict tools using needs and clear requests
• push versus pull energy and alignment checks
• heart-centering practice to sense expansion or contraction
• journal prompts to spot resistance and reconnect with why
• teaser for burnout patterns after a burst of motivation

If this episode resonated, I'd love for you to share it with a friend or leave a review. It helps this work reach more people who might need it. Any questions, email sarah@risingwithsarah.com

Related Episodes:

Episode 22 - Communicate Without Conflict: Non Violent Communication Basics for Everyday Life

Episode 74 - Beyond "If Only": Finding Joy in the Present Moment

Episode 77 - Feeling Anxious When Life Is Good? Understanding Foreboding Joy, Its Link to Gratitude, and Why We Brace for Pain

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Chapters

• 6:48 Push Versus Pull: Alignment Check
• 8:19 Heart Wisdom And Practical Practice
• 10:35 Journal Prompts And Key Reminders

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:07

Do you ever find yourself being absolutely miserable while you're doing something? Knowing you have to do it, but hating every minute? It's a pretty common experience. What if the problem isn't the thing itself, but how we're relating to it? What if joy isn't about changing what we do, but remembering why we're doing it? In this episode, we'll explore how remembering your why can transform even the most mundane or challenging moments into something meaningful, and how tuning into your heart can show you whether what you're doing is truly in alignment. Welcome to Roots of the Rise, with me, Sarah Hope, where spiritual wisdom meets practical tools in short episodes. Each one is a taster, not a deep dive, meant to spark curiosity and guide you toward authentic alignment. Today we're exploring motivation, not the surface level kind that comes from pressure or willpower, but the deeper kind that's rooted in purpose, love, and alignment. Forgetting why you're doing something is one of the easiest paths to frustration, resentment, and overwhelm. As is focusing on the idea of having to do something. I mean, who likes to be forced into doing anything? No one. Pressure makes us push back. We resist, we sit there, we hate every second. The truth is that there are many times in life when we do feel pushed to some degree because in some ways we actually are. I mean, there are things we have to do that we don't really want to do. I don't know anyone who gets excited about cleaning the toilet, for instance, but that doesn't mean we just get to opt out. Still remembering our motivation, our deeper reason can transform the exact same action from draining to meaningful. It gives context to our effort. When you're doing something you don't want to be doing, I mean, let's say cleaning the toilet, stopping to remember that you're doing it because, I don't know, you actually really like having a clean bathroom, or maybe because your in-laws are coming over and you want them to feel comfortable. That helps shift from, ugh, I don't want to do this, to, okay, I'm gonna do this because I really care about the comfort of my guests. It doesn't mean you have to like cleaning the toilet, but that reframe can shift your energy while doing it. Or what about going to a job you hate? Stopping to remember that you're doing it because it provides a wonderful life for your family and you love them more than you hate the job might help. Or this one happens to me all the time. Maybe you love your work, but you get stressed over deadlines or getting things done as well as you want to. Remembering that you do it because you love it can help refocus and revitalize you. That shift from I have to to I choose to be because changes everything. And that's something you hear that often, the switching from I have to to I choose to. But I think the that last part, I choose to because is essential. That's what really changes your relationship with whatever it is. So here are a few more ways that this can show up. Let's start with doing chores or caregiving. You might resent washing dishes or the endless loads of laundry. Maybe it's being a chauffeur and spending countless hours in the car driving your kids from point A to point B on repeat. I mean, adding up those numbers of hours you spend driving can be depressing. Or maybe you're having a moment of sheer exhaustion for how much energy and attention is required for taking care of an aging parent or spouse. But when you connect with your why that you're creating a peaceful, clean home, or giving your children the memory of being supported, or returning all the love and attention back to your parent or partner, those same moments can not only be acts of love because that's what they are, but they can feel like acts of love and be so much more enjoyable because of that. Or what about healing? What about personal growth? Doing quote unquote the work is not easy. Healing is not easy. Meditation, therapy, self-reflection, journaling, all of these, they bring up discomfort. But remembering why you're doing it, to feel more free, to break old cycles, to have more peace, to improve your relationships, well, that helps you keep going with compassion instead of force. Another common one is taking care of your health. I mean, you might not want to exercise or cook another healthy meal, but when your motivation shifts from control or appearance to honoring your body or making sure you stick around for your kids because of being healthy and not dying before you really needed to, which is something I think about often with my mom, you know, it becomes a form of devotion. Again, it becomes a tangible, visible expression of love. It's also powerful to notice your motivation when you're in conflict with someone else. Why are you arguing? What's your motivation? What are you actually trying to accomplish? I mean, this goes back to nonviolent communication, which I've talked about before. I'll link those episodes in the show notes. But the essence is if you can slow down and recognize the need behind the want, behind the emotion, you can communicate more clearly and you're far more likely to get your needs met. Sometimes just remembering your motivation mid-conflict is enough to soften your defenses and open a path toward understanding, or even diffuse things entirely. I find myself often, you know, my kid will ask for something and I'll say no. And then I'll step back and think, well, wait, why did I just say no? What why did I need to push back? Is that really necessary? And sometimes it's not. You know, so much of our frustrations come from forgetting our why or from living out someone else's. So I want to give you a couple ways to reflect on this in real time. First, you want to notice if you're being pushed or pulled to do whatever the thing is. Notice the energy behind your action. If it feels heavy, pressured, forced, that's push energy. It likely means you're doing it from obligation, fear, or external expectation. On the other side of things, if it feels natural, like you are being pulled forward, that's alignment. That's your heart leading. So when you catch yourself resisting, ask, am I being pushed by fear or pulled by purpose? Sometimes that question alone is enough to bring you back into alignment, or it can help you realize you need to connect to a deeper why. Because if we go back to that whole feeling pressured while we're doing something we love, often, you know, when we think back to, okay, the thing we're doing, let's say um doing this podcast, right? There can be pressure associated with that because of the deadlines, the external forces. But if I connect to the essence of it itself, well, then it always feels like it feels like a pull. It always feels like a deeper connection to my purpose. It's just that external stuff that gets me in the gets in the way of me remembering that. Another way to kind of check in on what your motivation is, is to check in with the wisdom held in your heart. You know, our heart is recognized by science now as being our third brain, along with the brain brain that we think of and the gut. One of the practices I teach regularly is that of something called heart centering, which is a method to connect regularly to the intelligence and the peace held within the heart. But you don't have to know a full-out method to utilize the wisdom waiting for you in the heart space. You can just check in. So just try this out. Careful if you're driving, take a slow breath in, let it all out, and just bring your awareness to your heart space. Bring your awareness to the energy of the heart. And picture the thing you've been resisting. Maybe it's work, a conversation you don't want to have, a task you're dreading. And just notice your body's response. Does the heart expand or contract? Do you feel an opening or a closing? Expansion usually means there's some semblance of alignment or truth here, even if it's challenging or slightly uncomfortable. Contraction typically means something's off. Maybe the motivation isn't aligned, maybe you need a new approach. I mean, your heart is always telling you what's in integrity for you. Now I will pause and say that the more you have cultivated your intuition, the more accurate your connection and clear, I should say, your connection with the heart space will be. So if you have never played around with asking your heart a question or asking your intuition for guidance, this one might feel a little tricky and like you're not quite sure how to do it. And so I just want to normalize and say that's totally fine. This one might not be for you. But if you have cultivated a connection with the uh felt experience of intuition, then try this one out and see what happens. Motivation isn't about hyping yourself up, it's about reconnecting to meaning. When you remember why you're doing something, you stop resisting life and you start participating in it. If you want to journal or ruminate more on this, simply notice where you're feeling resistance in your life first. So figure out, you know, any current situation that you feel pressure. And when you catch yourself feeling stuck or resentful, pause and ask, what's my motivation here? Am I being pushed or pulled? What happens when I connect with my why? The joy we're looking for isn't always waiting on the other side of change. It's right here in the intention behind what we're already doing. Motivation isn't about forcing yourself forward, it's about reconnecting with what matters most. In our next episode, we're going to take this one step further because what often happens when we connect with our why is that we get so inspired we take off running. And sometimes that beautiful spark of motivation turns into pressure and burnout. So we'll talk about how to recognize that shift and what to do without it. If this episode resonated, I'd love for you to share it with a friend or leave a review. It helps this work reach more people who might need it. Until next time, remember, know who you are, love who you've been, and be willing to do the work to become who you want to be. I am not a licensed therapist, and nothing shared here is meant to replace the guidance of a physician, therapist, or any other qualified provider. That said, I hope it inspires you to grow, heal, and seek the support you need to thrive.