Welcome to The Brotherhood

In this first episode of The Grateful Dad, host Ryan introduces himself and shares the inspiration behind launching the podcast. He opens up about his journey as a husband, father, and business owner, as well as the struggles and triumphs that shaped him—including his deepened faith following personal loss. This episode sets the foundation for what’s to come: honest conversations about fatherhood, mental health, faith, and personal growth. Ryan lays out his vision for building a community where men can support, learn from, and challenge each other to become the best versions of themselves. Welcome to The Grateful Dad—let’s grow together!

Transcript

Speaker A: 0:26

Welcome to the very first episode of the Grateful Dead. I'm your host, Ryan, and this podcast is all about fatherhood, faith, mental health, and everything in between. Whether you're a dad, a soon to be dad, a man navigating life's challenges, or just looking for some wisdom, laughs, and real talk, you're in the right place, and I'm happy to have you here. All right, episode one. I'm going to preface this that this is my first time recording this. I'm still learning volumes and the dealing with the nuances of all of the noise and me moving my mouse around and my squeaky chair. So bear with me. This is number one. I'm open to constructive criticism along the way. So, yeah, this is the start to something that I truly believe is going to be fricking awesome. It's a passion project of mine that I've tried working on for a long time, hit some speed bumps along the way trying to get it started, and as of now, I have forced myself to start it because it doesn't have to be perfect. It's not going to be perfect. I'm not perfect. None of you are perfect. So why should I expect this to be perfect, especially the first time around? So we're just going to roll with it and watch this whole thing evolve and get better? You know, men today face so much pressure to be providers and protectors and leaders, but who's making sure we're okay? Who's checking in on us? That's really kind of what this whole thing is about. I want to build a brotherhood where we can learn and grow and support each other. In today's episode, I kind of just wanted to start off by introducing myself and share the whole reason behind this podcast. Dive into a few key topics that I think we can all relate to and. And just talk. We're building something real here. We're not just talking. We're. We're. We're building. And that's kind of where I wanted to start. So little introduction on who I am. My name's Ryan. I've been blessed with a very incredible life, but like everyone, I've had my share of struggles. I'm 37 years old. I live in South Florida. I graduated college in 2010 after passionately pursuing a desire to be a lawyer. I, you know, I did all the undergrad stuff. Mock trial. Oh, see, there we go. There's another one of those nuances where my computer makes a bunch of noises. See if we can turn that off. There we go. We'll Let that ride. So I went to college and did the Pre Law Student Society justice and Student Government and Mock trial team. And that, that was a blast. It was a huge growth experience for me. But I ended up realizing not long after graduating college that I didn't want to be a lawyer, that I'm more passionate about business. And I started my first business shortly thereafter in April of 2011. I started at the back of my old Ford F150 pickup truck that I had when I graduated college. And it was a detailing business. It was called the Detail Dudes. It was pretty cool. You know, I always had a passion for cars. I even washed cars in college and high school. And cars are just my thing. And I'm kind of an OCD clean freak. I wouldn't say I'm ocd, but I have peculiarities that things that have to be in their place and clean. Maybe I am ocd. I don't know. I'll let you guys be the deciders on that and maybe some mental health professionals can help me with it. But anyway, I, I started this detailing business over the course of 11 years, from 2011, 2022. It grew, I grew. I learned a lot. I met some really awesome people, people that I hope to bring in on this podcast, especially some of my really crazy customers that I had that were, you know, rags to riches stories or just, you know, overcame all kinds of struggles. Very, very influential men of faith. Just awesome people that I really hope to bring in here and let you learn from them as much as I did. But I built that business up until 2022. And in 2022, uh, I parted ways with the business and coming over to the business that my father started back in the 70s, underwater yacht maintenance. And I worked in here, in and out of here most of my life in high school and a little bit in college. And so it was just a natural fit. Plus, I love working with family and, and the atmosphere here. And so everything happened for a reason. And it brought me to where I am today. It gives me the opportunity to be able have the time and resources to fund this crazy passion project of mine, which is the Grateful dad podcast and community. So, you know, happy to be here, I'm excited. A little bit more about me. I am married to the most amazing woman in the world. Chen. No, she didn't force me to say that. It's true. She is the most amazing woman in the world for putting up with me, becoming a husband and really pouring my heart into my marriage was one of the first major Roles in my growth of honestly becoming a man. I think, you know, we all think we're men when we're younger, in, in college and high school. I'm a man. Well, yeah, you got to get humbled a few times before you actually become a man. I think, I think you got to be brought to your knees a few times and realize that you can't do things on your own and that you need people and you need God and you need a support system around you of people who genuinely care about your success and growth and happiness. And I think once you realize that and you stop the bravado of, I can do this on my own. I don't need anybody. And you realize that it takes a village, even for yourself, that's when you really start to grow as a man. Hence the podcast here. I have two incredible kids, four and a half year old boy named Carter. And yes, you have to say the and a half because he's not four, but he's also not five. He's going to be five soon and he wants everyone to know that his birthday is coming up. I also have a one and a half year old girl, actually. She turned. So today is February 4th that I'm recording this. And she was born on August 5th, so her and a half actually comes tomorrow on February 5th, which is really cool. Both of my kids are IVF babies. And IVF is another one of those roles, one of those stages in life that really kind of can rattle you to your core. It can make or break you. There's a lot of struggles and conversations we're going to have there that I'd like to bring into also people that I'd like to bring into that too, for all the, all the men out there. Maybe you can't have kids and you really want to and you're dealing with that struggle. Or maybe you're going through IVF right now and you're sticking your wife or girlfriend or significant other as like a pin cushion, injecting her with all these frigging hormones and such and that whole roller coaster and all of the mental health issues that come with it, the physical issues that come with it. Yeah, I, I've been there. We're going to talk about that. That's going to come up and there's probably going to be a lot of talking about that because that was a huge part of my growth in life and strengthening of my marriage. I mean, that was a period of time where it could have made or break our marriage. And luckily we chose to make it make our marriage. But man, it was tough. And I'm the dude. I'm not even the one that had to get stuck with all the needles. That was my wife. Like, I was just, you know, the supporting role in that. And it was tough. So imagine. I can't even imagine exactly what my wife went through, but, you know, maybe we'll bring her on here and she'll talk about that too. If that's what you guys want, let me know. Give you the female perspective of it. Hopefully she is gentle with the growth process that I had to go through through all that. But, you know, maybe we'll go there too. Geez. What else? If you haven't noticed through my talk, like, I am a man of faith. I'm a servant of God. I always believed myself to be a really good Christian, but it wasn't until July of last year that I realized I wasn't as good as I thought I was. And don't think I'm ever going to be good because I'm a sinner. But July of last year, one of the I don't know if I call it scary or wild or sad or just earth shattering, core shaking moments of my life happened. One of my best friends had a heart attack right in front of me and I was giving him chest compressions on the floor here in my shop, where I'm actually recording this right now. And he didn't make it. And I had to watch that hall kind of unfold in front of me. It also unlocked vision into my. One of my deepest fears, which has always been leaving my kids and my wife and my family before I believe they're ready for me to be gone. Granted, that's not my decision. That's God's decision. And I'll stick by with whatever decision he makes when it's my time, when he says it's my time to go, it's time to go. And that's something I've learned recently. But that experience is just a huge catalyst in my life that changed everything if in fact it kind of changed this podcast. Because, you know, this was something I actually started a year and a half ago. I didn't record anything, but I started playing around with it. I got the equipment, I put up the website, and Jeremy was a part of it. Jeremy's the name of my buddy that passed away. Any of you that know me personally know that whole story and how crazy I was after it and how I'm still kind of dealing with it today. But he was going to be a Part of this. And we would sit here in my office and be like, oh, we're going to do dad jokes. And we were. I got a couple of recordings, actually, I think still him and I recording dad jokes and stuff that I think I'll probably bring on if I can find them buried somewhere. But that also put this whole thing on pause. So beginning of this year, 2025, I sat down, I told my wife, I was like, I have to do this. It's my calling. It's what I think. You know, it's my arc. Okay. God gives us all and, you know, we all have a different ark. Noah built an ark. But God will call you, do something great sometimes. And it will, you know, it won't always be easy. It's not usually easy because if it was easy, everybody would do it. But, you know, I think this is my ark. I think this is the thing that I. I can build, I can pour my heart into and I can sacrifice some of my time doing things that don't make the world a better place. And hopefully this ends up making the world a better place, our lives a better place. And it'll also serve as a legacy. You know, this. I can. My kids can hear my voice and my grandkids, and my great grandkids and my great, great grandkids hopefully can pull this up and hear the old man, Ryan talking about life and with really amazing people and showing how, you know, through faith and hard work and lots of love and kindness and some strength, you can live a really good life even when it's hard. So I've kind of put all my burden on. On God, which I'm thankful for, because after Jeremy happened, I started having crippling panic attacks and anxiety. And we'll talk about that, too. Overcoming that and the really earth shattering times that I had to overcome that. So we'll go down that road too at some point. A huge part of my journey, as you can imagine, has been fatherhood. I love being a dad. I realized that fatherhood is more than just raising kids, but it's about us becoming the best versions of ourselves for them. Constantly trying to improve myself because I want to be the best for my family. I want to be the husband my wife deserves and the father my kids deserve. I want to show my daughter the man that she should marry and how that man should treat her. And I want my son to learn the type of man that he should be. Not by what I say, but by what I do and by watching me. I want him to know how to treat his wife and kids by thinking of how I raised him. I want him to know how to bring light and peace into the world through his being. I've been a part of some amazing Facebook groups, men and dads that support each other. And that's where I saw firsthand how powerful it is when we as men actually open up and help each other out. You know, the first real, I guess, quote, unquote, support group that I joined was one for the IVF support group. I'm still in it. There's some really awesome, awesome people in there. And it was just us men, like, you know, because it. We as men, you know, we always got to be the rock. We always got to be, you know, the foundation. And that's. That's what our purpose is here, is to be the foundation and strength for our families. And sometimes, you know, it's not that people don't care, but in a situation where, like, ivf, where you're. Your wife is taking the brunt of, like, all of the physical and mental stress that goes along with that, the role as the man in the relationship sometimes gets overlooked. And we just kind of got to suck it up and deal with it, because we know that what works, dealing with isn't anywhere near as much as the pain as our. Our spouses, wives, girlfriends, whatever, going through at the time. So it was really awesome to have that group where we could all kind of put the burden on each other and talk to each other and not have to add to the stress that our wives were dealing with at the time. So that was really good. And that was kind of what opened my eyes into it. Now I'm in another one for girl dads, and just another one that's dads helping dads. And it's all just a bunch of really respectful, honest, open men just kind of supporting each other and being there for each other, talking about really hard topics, and it's. It's just really awesome. And I want this to kind of be an extension of that, kind of maybe a voice for it. And I'd love for some of the people in those groups to come on and be a part of this as well. What else? What can we expect from this? Is a good question. So we'll say honest conversations about fatherhood, mental health, faith, relationships, success. And we'll have tough conversations. We will dive into hard to talk about subjects, even some embarrassing ones. We're probably going to disagree at times. We'll never judge each other. That's for God to do, not us. And we'll always be supportive and respectful. I'll start incorporating some structured segments here. If any of you know me personally, you know how much of an avid, devout dad joke giver I am, so expect that to happen. But also, I got some other ideas for segments. If you guys have any ideas, please shoot them my way. Hellorateful dad Podcast. Com. That's hello at G R A T E F U L Dad D A D Podcast. P O D C A S T dot com. You can shoot questions, topics, ideas, anything that I can do to make this, you know, of more value to you guys, shoot it my way. I would be honored, absolutely honored to bring your ideas into this. So that way I know that you guys are getting the value out of it and not just me. Feeling like sitting in front of this microphone is cool. Guest speakers from all different walks of life. Men who've overcome struggles, experts in finance, health, mindset, and even influential men who have unique perspectives on being dads. I have some pretty wild goals for guests on this podcast that, you know, call it my vision board. It's not really a vision board, but I guess just vision in my head of people I'd like to have in here. And as it grows, I'd love to continue to leverage this amazing community we're building to bring them into this community. And I also have some pretty amazing people in my personal life that I'm close with that I know is going. It's just gonna pour a whole bunch of value into this that you guys are gonna love. And I'm working on getting them lined up for chats now. So, you know, let's kind of change gears here. Kind of talking about who I am, why we're here, what this is, you know, planned to be, which I know nothing ever goes according to plan. So whatever it ends up being, it'll be great. But I'm excited to try and plan it. But let's change gears. Well, now that you guys know a little bit about me, a little bit about the purpose for why I'm here, why I'm doing this, let's talk about something that I think every man deals with whether we say it out loud or not. And it's kind of the hidden burden that we carry. Being men, being fathers. As men, we often feel the need to be strong. The provider, the rock, the problem solver, like we talked about before. And, you know, we don't always. It's. We don't always have that outlet. Most men don't have that outlet. I know for a long time I didn't have that outlet. I ended up finding it in my wife and my father and in a few of my good friends and the support groups that I'm in online. But what happens when we're struggling? You know, who do you turn to? Who do. Who do we turn to? I feel like it's just always been taboo for men to talk about our feelings and, you know, for us to even have feelings, for that matter. But it's like it was just raised in this culture where we're taught to just bottle it up, and it was just. It's just almost taboo for us to talk about it. So, you know, who is it that you guys turn to? I'd love to know. And hopefully this ends up being somewhere where you turn to, and if you got struggles that you're dealing with and you don't feel like you have someone to turn to, I would love to be that person. Shoot me an email. Helloratefuldadpodcast.com and I would love to connect with you, and I would love to be your outlet. I'll never judge anybody, and I will always come from a place of love and respect and compassion and do everything that I can to help you. I am nowhere near a mental health professional or a professional, anything for that matter. I'm not even a professional podcaster, maybe a scuba diver, maybe a detailer. I don't know. But regardless, you don't need to be a professional to help somebody. And that's. I like helping people. I like helping people because helping people helps me. It fills my soul. It fills my cup up. So if you need someone to turn to, email me, and we'll connect and I'll do everything I can to be that outlet for you, somebody to talk to and maybe bring you into this community more. And hopefully there's other people out there that can help you even better than I think I can. And so that's what we need to be here for in this brotherhood that we are trying to create. The thing is, and I learned this not long ago, actually, but us as men, there's a biblical principle about filling your cup up and filling up other people's cups. Well, if your cup's empty, you can't pour anything into other people's cups. You can't help other people if you don't help yourself first. It's kind of like, you know, I just got off an airplane on Sunday. I flew back from Cancun, and I was over there fishing with a buddy of mine, and there were some crazy stories about coming Back from there that we'll probably get into in another episode. But I was on the plane and they were going through their safety spiel as they always do. And it's always the thing that you hear about, but like, I don't know, maybe I just never put that much thought into it. But like in this, in this idea of filling your cup up and helping yourself out before you help others, it's the same thing. Like when they say and when the mask dropped down, make sure you put your mask on before you help other people get their mask on. Of course. Right, because if you don't get oxygen, you're gonna pass out. You're not gonna be able to help the other person get their mask on either. So, yeah, make sure you're breathing first, then you can help other people breathe. It's the same concept. We have to take care of ourselves as men, make sure that we're okay before we can help other people be okay. You know, we're not going to be good leaders in our household if we're not good at leading ourselves. So that's what we need to work on. Stress, anxiety, work, life, balance. Juggling work, family and personal growth is freaking tough, man. You know, it's, it's not something that people talk about. You go to work every day and you deal with all the stresses and anxiety and, and you know, gosh, if you work in like one of those big corporate jobs where you got like 18 bosses and it's like if you get yelled at, if you get make a mistake, you get yelled at by like 18 different people. And you deal with that stress of maybe insecurity, knowing, you know, if you make a mistake, if they're going to have your back and be like, yo, you're a good person, so we're not going to fire you. We're just going to fix it like all these different things so you have to deal with that stress throughout the day. And then at some point between when you clock out from work and when you walk in your front door at your house, you have to figure out how to set that burden aside. You know, Woosa, take some deep breaths, whatever you gotta do before you walk in the door. So that way you can be dad when you walk in the door. You can go from being employee, boss, whoever you are at work, to dad, leader of the family. When you walk in the door and not bring all that stress in there and then drag it all, they drag all the stress and everything from work into the house. And it's just like, you didn't even leave work. Nobody wants to do that, so. And then on top of this, you somehow have to manage all that and experience some level of personal growth along the way. And it's just not easy. Sometimes it seems impossible. The problem with this is often we isolate ourselves. We just compartmentalize our feelings, put them in a box, bury them as low into our hearts as we can or as far into the back of our minds as we can. We kind of bottle everything up, you know, stick it in the back closet and shut the door. And over time, the boxes of compartmentalized feelings and thoughts clutter the closet, and they start to spill out and become an avalanche, and it can become a problem. And it's not good to set yourself aside, set your feelings and priorities and mental health aside. And again, I go back to filling your cup up. If you're not taking care of your own mental health, you're not going to be able to take care of anybody else's either. You're not going to be able to help anybody else. So work on that. And that's one of the primary goals and missions of this podcast, is to help us men deal with that. And there's power in a brotherhood. There's power in, I believe what we're doing here to build this and turn it into something meaningful. This podcast is more than just me talking into a microphone. It's about building a real supportive brotherhood. I've seen firsthand the power of men supporting each other in some incredible Facebook groups for dads. In those groups, men open up about their struggles, share their victories, lift each other up. That's what I want this podcast to be. That's what I want the Grateful dad community to be. A place where we talk about the real stuff, even when it's tough, and we can keep things as private or out in the open as possible. I promised I'm going to try and be an open book here and tell you anything and everything you want to know about me. Society often tells us as men to be tough, to hold it all in, and to just pull yourself up by your bootstraps and deal with it, you know, buck up, buttercup. What are all the other cliche things they say? But I believe real strength comes from being open and asking for help, from growing alongside other men who have your back. We're not meant to do life alone as men. We're meant to sharpen each other. And there's actually a really awesome scripture that means a lot to me.

It's Proverbs 27: 26:49

17 it says, as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. And that's what we need to do, Sharpen each other. So here we are. We talk about how important mental health is and that we. That we need to fill our cups up and we need to take care of each other and take care of ourselves. But great, Cool. What do we do? How do we start taking care of our mental health today? You know, my suggestions would be to start with finding an outlet. Maybe just start with one, maybe find multiple. You know, it could be prayer, journaling, working out, talking to a friend, writing, listening to music, going to church, you know, going on Facebook, support groups, whatever it is that your outlet can be. And if you don't know what it is, just start trying some, and eventually you'll, you know, you'll slide into one and be like, yo, this feels great. These people are awesome. Or, this is awesome. This makes me feel good. This helps me fill up my gas tank so I got enough gas to help everybody else get to where they need to be. So, you know, for me, it's. It's prayer. It's. It's. It's. Yeah, I love going to church on Sunday mornings. I. Whatever. You may think I sound crazy some, you know, but it's. It's like I look forward to it. It fills my cup up every day. I enjoy talking, if you haven't noticed. I mean, I'm sitting here for how long now? We're going on, like, 30 minutes of me just talking to a microphone. So, yeah, I. I like talking. I enjoy conversation, meaningful conversation, and. And that's part of my outlet. I also enjoy working out. Haven't had the time to do it in a while. That's the next thing I'm gonna have to find time to do. But this is more important. I love, like, showing my. My friends and the people in my life that matter to me how much they matter by talking to them, telling them how I feel about them, and asking them, you know, how I can help them. Helping people is an outlet for me. So find your outlet. Connect with other men. That can be outlets or that have outlets or that can help you through a stage or a struggle or whatever situation you may be in. Find people, a group, a mentor, a friend. Find. Find your people, find your tribe, find your group, find your team, whatever, you know, whatever name matters to you, whatever you want to call it, but find your people. And, man, give yourself some grace. Have some mercy on yourself. I'll do my best to have mercy on you. I know God has Mercy on us all. And you gotta have some mercy on yourself. You're not gonna have all the answers. You're not gonna know what to do. Shoot, ****, I was not. I get it wrong more times than I get it right. Have some mercy on yourself. Be kind to yourself. Don't beat yourself up. Don't expect everything in your life to. For you to have all the answers and know what to do. Or don't beat yourself up when you make the wrong decision. Just move on and get better and learn. And in giving yourself grace, find ways to help carry yourself through the struggles, through the tough times. You know, one of the most important things in my life was in something that's carried me through the toughest of times is my faith. And more so recently in my life, in the past, like, year and a half, year than ever. But as my faith has grown over the past, I mean, I'd say in the past year, since the. Or even, shoot, eight months, has been extremely transformational for me in my faith. And it's a game changer. I mean, when you really pour yourself into your faith and you really start to dive deep into it and think about how you're not alone, even when you feel alone, and you may not have somebody standing next to you, like, God is with you all the time and he's got your back. Like, it took me a while to really, like, understand, but becoming a father helped me understand. Like, he's called God the Father, and everybody's always like, oh, Jesus loves you. Jesus loves you. And I'm like, yeah, he loves me, you know, I. But, like, I'm a firm believer in the fact that you don't really, truly, completely know what love, like, in its purest form is until you have children. Like that love is. I don't. You can't even put words to it. Like, my. My heart's just jumping out of my chest just thinking about it. But like, that love that you have for your children, like, you would do anything for them to make their lives better. And that doesn't mean you're just gonna give them whatever they want, right? But you're gonna do everything you can to steer them in the right direction and make their lives better and take burden off of them so that way they don't have to carry it, and you carry it for them. And it's like, once I realized that that's the love that God has for me and that the relationship God wants me to have with him is the relationship that I want my son or my daughter to have with me and that I. I'm not going to be perfect. I'm going to make mistakes and God's going to love me anyway. He's going to, you know, through his word, is going to try and steer me in the right direction. And if I listen, my life will become better. And it has. And so my faith has let me lean more on him. And I've even, you know, had to build my faith sometimes. And I've sat down and I'm like, hey, like God, reveal yourself to me. I want to experience you and feel your presence. And I can honestly say that in the past, in the past eight months, I've had more encounters with God than I have that I've recognized in my entire life. And it's like having, having a relationship with God is like having a relationship with the ultimate superhero. It's like the, the guy created everything around us. And once you choose to believe that and understand it and like, and I mean truly believe it and lean into it and have that relationship with our father, like, you would hope your kids would have a relationship with you as their father, and that our relationship with our kids should be modeled after our relationship with God. It's just, it changes everything. Everything. Patience, you know, kindness, mercy, all of these things where, like, it can make you such so much happier and fulfilled, but also a better person. Right? Like, we're all bad people, I believe, because we're all sinners, like, and sin is bad, but that doesn't mean we can't do everything we can to be less of a sinner, to be closer to the image of God, as close to it as we can be. We'll never be perfect. There's nothing you can do to be perfect. We're all going to be imperfect for the entirety of our lives, and that's okay. But strengthening that faith and realizing that and then using God's word and the knowledge and everything that he gave lefts behind for us to learn from him. Like, use that to your advantage. It's like a cheat coat. I promise you, if you start living your life by biblical principles, your life will start getting better. If you truly follow the principles and don't just pretend to, but like, stick to them, stick to them for a long time. Strengthen your faith, go to church, surround yourself with the right people, 100% guarantee you your life will get better. And that's my game changer. You know, my relationship with God completely transformed my mindset and my purpose. That's why I'm here right now. You know, I'M I'm gonna. I'm not a minister by any means. I don't even think I am considered an evangelist. But I'm just some guy that sits here that's been through. You know, I've done some pretty bad things throughout my life that, you know, I shouldn't get the mercy from God or I shouldn't have that grace, and I don't deserve it, but here I am. And I think we're all that way. You know, we've all made mistakes. None of us are perfect. Maybe we've done some really bad things that haunt us all the time, but, you know, this is where you can go and lay it at the feet of God and say, here it is, man. Like, I'm done with it, and make your life better. That faith kind of helps with the balance of being a strong and masculine leader, but also a servant to your family and to God. It helps you find peace in the chaos of fatherhood through faith. When you start looking at how the relationship God has with me is the relationship that I should have my kids, you know, when you use biblical principles and apply them to the relationships in your life, all of those relationships are going to strengthen, and it's going to enrich your life. Not by putting money in your bank account, because that's not enriching your life, that's just filling a bank account. But, like, enrich the relationships, the love, the kindness, the passion that you have in your life, it's going to make it all better. And maybe some of us are feeling just worn out, beaten down and alone and unheard and uncared for. I can tell you right now that it doesn't have to be that way. A good scripture. Become to me all who are weary and burdened. I will give you rest. Gosh, I love that word, rest. I think about the scripture and I'm like, yo, I need a nap. And it's funny because sometimes I'll be worn out, you know, just exhausted. And quite literally at times, I'll get the rest, you know, and I'll come home and my amazing wife will be like, dude, like, I don't even have to say things sometimes. Like, just these huge dark bags under my eyes, and I'm exhausted, and I don't want to say anything because, you know, she's busting her butt at the house, taking care of the kids, keeping the house clean, you know, making sure our life keeps moving outside of me at work and the structure of our household. You know, she. She really keeps that going. And I Don't want to come home and look at her and be like, I'm tired. I need to go to bed now. Granted, sometimes I do. I mean, sometimes she says it to me, though. She says it to me a lot less than I've said it to her. And that stinks sometimes because I feel like she needs rest, too. But I'll come home sometimes and I'll literally get. God will give me the rest through my amazing, faithful wife. And she'll be like, dude, you look tired. Just go in the room, go to sleep, grab there's food in bed and get some rest. And it's much needed. And God gives that to us when we need it, when we should get it. So, you know, we as men carry heavy burdens. We do get exhausted. We don't have to carry them alone. God will put the right people in our lives. God will, you know, put God in your life. And it's a. It will. It will change the game. Absolutely. Change the game. So, you know, as we get closer to the end of this first episode, I'd like to. Before we wrap up, I'm going to leave you this simple but kind of powerful piece of wisdom to carry into the next week before we get another episode that kind of hit me really hard that I read and it's be the dad you needed. When you were growing up, what was the dad that you needed? Maybe you had the dad you needed, right? Maybe your thing was like, hey, let's go out in the front yard, play baseball and let me have a dad that I can sit down and say, hey, here's what I'm going through. And he'll. Your dad sat down and walked you through it or taught you how to shave or any of that. Maybe you didn't have any of it. You know, what was it? Who was. What was the dad you needed? And I'm not bringing this up because I want you to, like, think about all the things your dad didn't do or if you didn't have a dad, you know, obviously needs to be addressed. But, like, we have an opportunity to be our dad's 2.0, just like our dads were, hopefully probably better than their dads and, you know, continually improve. And so what was the. What were the things that your dad maybe didn't give you or provide for you that you can make sure you provide to your kids? I mean, think about it. What did you need from a father figure when you were younger? Maybe use more patience or encouragement, a safe place to talk, you know, any of these things and go be that for your kids. Don't perpetuate the negatives that you got growing up from your father. Focus on those things and grow from them. So that way, hopefully, your kids can do it better than you did, and the world just continually becomes a better place. You know? I mean, what. What. I feel like every person on the face of this earth has, like, stories like, nobody's childhood was perfect, right? And, like, that white picket fence and mommy and daddy are still married, and you guys all came home and sat around the dinner table and had loving and, you know, eventful and meaningful conversations with each other, you know, your entire life. Like, I just don't think that that's a reality. And hopefully a lot of the bad things that happen to me in my life are, you know, those are the things that I get to help you guys with, and it even helps me still talking about them. But, you know, thinking about my. My past and how the father that I am now versus the father that I thankfully still have in my life, but also the different version of my father that I had grown up, I want to be able to provide my family with some of the really cool things growing up that I got to do with, you know, some vacations and not worrying about what we're eating for dinner tonight or what school we're going to or any of that. But I also want to, you know, hinge that with being around. And I'm not around my kids as much as I wish I was right now. I work a lot, and I'm not. I'm not upset about that at all. You know, I'm trying to build on something that my father built and make it better so that way it can provide more for me and my family while still providing for him. And then all the incredible people that work here and just constantly improve, and that takes some time and effort. And I just have to balance the idea that I don't want to spend too much time trying to create moments in the future. I don't want to focus on that so much that I end up missing the moments that are happening now. So I try and balance the hard work, but I think I probably sacrifice a little bit of upside later in life by taking time and spending it with my kids, and I'm okay with that. That's part of the. You know, that's part of how I ended up where I am right now. There was a point in my life where I was faced with the decision of having to choose more financial success with sacrificing Major aspects of my family. And when that time came, I was like, yo, sorry, seen what that's like. Lived it, not doing it. I can be successful in whatever respect I want to be successful, whether that's financially or whatever. Whatever your metric is for success. For me, my metric for success is happiness. Lots of things go into that happiness, but that's where I can be happy. And I can't be happy without spending time with my wife and kids. It is impossible. My happiness hinges on being around them and with them. So when faced with the question, do you want to be successful or do you want to be a family man? I was like, both, because, you know, they're not mutually exclusive. And in my opinion, they don't. One can't exist without the other. So that's where I ended up here. And that is part of the driving force behind me as a father is my dad worked his butt off and we had everything we needed. We lived in gorgeous house and, you know, we went to private school and we had food and vacations and, you know, we were so blessed. But that still doesn't make me look back and say it was perfect. Because I want to be a better father. And that's being around and being there for my kids and expressing love. And I'm. That doesn't need to be a metric for how you choose to be a good father, but that's something that I would have enjoyed having more of when I was a kid. And that's. I try and give that to my kids. I don't try to. I give it to them. I lay it on thick. I mean, they know I love them. I hope they do, because I try and show it every day, not only through my words, but through my actions. And that's something that I do. I love my dad. We are so close. I've never been closer to my dad in my entire life. I respect him, I admire him. He's going to end up coming on here and talking to you guys one day, and we can talk about this stuff. And I don't want to have a real conversation with him, but his office is right on the other side of the wall that I'm looking at while I'm talking to you guys right now. And I love that man and I respect him. We have a love and a mutual respect for each other. And he is not only my father, but he's one of my closest friends and one of the first people, if not the first person I call in the time of need, which here we are on February 4th I can say a couple days ago that concept was tested and he proved he's there for me. He's got my back. So we'll talk about that one day, but we're not gonna talk about that today. But, you know, it's not that he wasn't there for me. It's not that he was a bad father. We all fathered differently. I just. There's things that I needed that I'm trying to be better at, that I'm trying to give to my kids. And that's the concept I want you guys to think about, is be the dad you needed when you were growing up. What did you need from a father figure when you were younger? More patience, encouragement, safe space to talk. Whatever it is, go out and be that for your kids right now. Don't let your kids want for the same things when they're adults. And now. Don't let your kids want for the same things in their childhood that you wish you had in your childhood. They should have different wants, right? The wants that you know that they should want, you can give those to them because you know you can get that right, because you have that experience. So don't perpetuate, fix it, and grow. In closing, here's what I want to say. Men, you are not alone. You're strong, you're capable, and you're worthy of love and support. This is just the beginning of the Grateful dad community. And I can't wait to grow this with you. I know this first episode was probably wonky. I know you probably heard noises in the background, trains going by, all that. I'm not a professional podcaster. I don't have a professional studio. I'm doing this in my office.

It's 9: 48:22

00 at night after I worked a full day at the office. So it will get better as we go along. But right now, I just need to start the conversations, need to start. This needs to start. The community needs to start building. And I'm looking for, like, I'm so excited to see where this goes and what it does, and I'm so excited to see how we can help each other grow throughout all this. If this episode resonated with you, I strongly encourage and beg you to share it with a friend. Subscribe yourself. Join me in future episodes. I'd like to say I'm going to post weekly, but this is day one. I don't. I haven't edited before, so I don't know how long that's going to take, but from here we're going to edit. And we're going to post. I don't know where to post it. This is I'm a learn by doing type of guy, and that's what I'm going to do. I'm just going to do and see what happens. But work with me. It's going to grow. You know, whenever I watch a new TV show, I always am like, all right, I'm going to give it, like, a season, right? And so this is growth season. Every season is going to be growth season. But this is like, initial. Like, let's screw up as much as we can to figure out how to do it right season. And so I hope you guys stick around with me for this. If you have any critiques, constructive criticism, send it to me. I'm all ears. Because my whole goal for this isn't for me to just talk to a microphone. It's to help you guys help myself grow this and turn it into something where we can really have impact on our group and the world and our families. So stick with me. We'll make it happen. And in closing, I would like to say the greatest mark of a father is how he treats his children when no one is watching. So think about that. And with that, I will see y'all on the next episode. Foreign Real quick, little Easter egg for you if you're actually still listening. Thank you for listening to that whole song. You're awesome, and I'm excited to see you next time. And if you actually got this, drop me a line if you listened all the way to the end, just because I'm going to try and do something for you that gives you a little bit more value. So let me know. Helloratefuldadpodcast.com that you listened all the way for the Easter egg at the end. Thanks. You rock. Love ya. See you at the next episode.