Faith Over Fear—Chosen for This

Fear and faith have the same definition—they both require believing in something you cannot see. After witnessing my best friend Jeremy pass away, I was consumed by anxiety and panic attacks, terrified that I might not wake up to see another day with my family. The fear was crippling… until I had no choice but to surrender it to God.

In this episode of The Grateful Dad, I share how that moment of complete surrender changed everything. God doesn’t make mistakes—He chooses us for both struggles and blessings. He chose me to be there with Jeremy in his final moments. He chose me to walk through that pain. And He chose me to share this message with you.

If fear has been holding you back, it’s time to shift your mindset. Let’s talk about why God calls us to replace fear with faith and step fully into the purpose He’s prepared for us.

Transcript

Ryan: 0:00

There's a two, two train. Okay, let's start recording. Welcome to the Grateful dad, where faith, mindset and real life collide. I'm Ryan and this podcast is all about shifting perspectives and growing through life's challenges. I'm so happy to have you guys here. Let's get started. Foreign Episode 2 Ever of the Grateful Dead. I want to start this out just by saying thank you to the multitude of people that downloaded this, streamed it, listened to it, listened to it multiple times. That first episode, in all honesty, after I recorded it and edited it and put it up, I told like one, two, three, like four people, four or five people. And it got way more streams than that. I think we're, you know, which in the grand scheme of things is like nothing, hopefully compared to what this is going to end up being. But to me, it means the world that like 30 people streamed it, some people commented on it and gave it five star ratings from the get go. So there's also a little area in the description of the episodes that says you can text me. And some random people that I have never met before that I hope to learn more about over time have messaged not only to say that they enjoy it or words of encouragement, but also there was a little Easter egg at the very, very end of the first episode that people caught and sent stuff to me. And I'm in the process of trying to figure out how to. So I have to. I have something I ordered yesterday. It's gonna take a week or so to get in, maybe a little bit more. When it comes in, I wanna give this to people for free. I may need you to pay for shipping, but the actual item itself will be free just to say thank you to the people that did. So I'm gonna see if there's a way I can reach out to you to figure that out. But anyway, if you want to connect with me, you can also email hellorateful dad podcast.com or ryan@the grateful dad podcast. Either one. Hello is probably the fastest way to get to me. But anyway, I'm excited to connect with you guys. You're awesome. Thank you so much for sharing this and getting it out there. And I am extremely excited to see how this continues to grow even as episode two. So let's go ahead and dive into episode two because this one's gonna. This one's gonna pull on my heartstrings a little bit because I'm gonna bring in a story, probably the most shell shocking story of my life, and spin that back into why I'm here, how I got here, and more of the purpose behind this. So I was at church last week and the week prior, and I heard something that hit me like a ton of bricks. And it is what led me into this episode, which is also going to kind of turn into a little series on mindset. Mindset's a huge thing for me, if you know me. So I love figuring out why my mind does what it does and trying to think about what I think about and hopefully change those things for better. So the thing that I heard was that faith and fear have the same definition. I'll say that one more time. Faith and fear have the same definition. They are both about believing in something you cannot see. But the difference is fear believes in the worst, while faith believes in the best. Fear paralyzes, Faith moves, Fear steals, faith restores. And let me tell you, I have lived on both sides of that line. So on July 30th of last year, my very close friend Jeremy passed away suddenly from a heart attack. And I was there. I was actually sitting at the very desk I'm talking to you from looking at the very computer that's right in front of me. And so that day, I was on a Zoom call with somebody, and he had just gotten back from doing a job. And as I was sitting here on the Zoom call, his son came in and yelled at me, my dad needs your help. He's on the floor. So I immediately told the person I was on the Zoom call, I have to go. There's an emergency in the shop. And I ran as fast as I could back to the shop, and I came out, and Jeremy was on the floor. I ran over to him, and he was on his back. No, he was on his face. And I rolled him to his side because I thought he was. I didn't know what was going on. For some reason, my instinct told me, put him on his side in case he throws up or something. He's not going to, you know, aspirate and drown, per se. Oh, man, my heart's racing telling this story. This is the first time I've told this story in this amount of detail ever. I told you, I'm gonna try and be an open book, and I'm gonna try and get through this story, so bear with me. So I go out there, and he's on the ground. I roll him to his side, and his son is behind me and, you know, hitting Jeremy. I'm like, hey, Jeremy, come back. Come back. You're okay. You're okay. Come on. Back. Come on back. And his eyes were open at the time and his son was behind me. I turn around, immediately looked at him. I'm like, call 911 right now. So he gets 911 on the phone. I'm holding Jeremy on his side, rubbing his back, patting him, you know, trying to get him out of whatever it is he's going through. And I get. I finally get 911 on the phone, explaining to him he's a male, about 45 years old. I came out to him in the shop as he's collapsed on the floor, and he is. He was convulsing a little bit and not non responsive. And the. The woman on the 911 call, you know, started asking questions. And for the life of me, I can't remember what questions she asked. But the next thing I remember was that Jeremy started making a noise, a noise I'd never heard in my life and a noise I pray I never have to hear again. And I looked. I looked it up a couple weeks after and found out it was something called agonal breathing. And it's basically when you're. For lack of a better term, like think of agonized breathing is what it comes to mind when I think of it. And it was just this horrible sound of him trying to breathe. And I told the lady on the 911 call that he was doing that, and she could hear it. And she said, okay, he's having a heart attack and he's going into cardiac arrest. So she told me to lay him on his back and start giving chest compressions. Fortunately for me, we as a company had recently done CPR class. So I was. I never thought I would have to put those to the test, but I did. So I started giving him chest compressions. And the lady on the phone was doing great because she was counting it out. She's like, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8. 1, 2, 3. And I'm literally counting. And I can. I'm breathing with it, and I'm putting every. Because Jeremy's a big guy. Like, he is big strong man. So I was putting every bit of my strength into it, trying to keep him going. And he lost consciousness for a little bit, and then I started pressing even harder. And then eventually his eyes shot open and he, like, looked right at me, and then he closed his eyes again. I kept pumping, giving him chest compressions as long as I could, until eventually I heard in the distance the sirens coming through. And eventually. And a paramedic or EMT tapped me on the shoulder and said, go. I got this. To condense the rest of that story, I ended up going outside, calling Shannon, just pouring tears, freaking out. They bring in all the paramedics, they, you know, do everything that they can to save him. And ultimately in the evening, you know, a few hours later, after they took him to the hospital, we ended up finding out that he passed. So this is like the most soul shaking experience of my life. I had faced loss before, but this, this was different. This wasn't something distant. It wasn't something I could process from afar. And this unlocked a real life vision of my biggest fear, which is leaving this earth before I felt my family was ready for me to go, before my wife, my kids, my loved ones could handle it. And that fear took root very, very deep inside me. It didn't just stay in my thoughts, it started to affect my entire body. Panic attacks came first, and they would hit me out of nowhere. My heart would start racing, my chest would tighten, my breathing would get shallow, and I'd be absolutely convinced that I was dying. It was like a switch flipped. No matter how much I tried to reason with myself, I couldn't turn it off. I would, I'd tell Shannon, like, I, I think that I'm going to die. There were nights that I laid in bed, or even a night where Shannon and I laid on the couch, and I was, I was afraid to fall asleep because I was convinced it would be my last time falling asleep. I would stare at the ceiling. I would listen to Shannon breathing next to me. I'd replay every moment with my kids throughout that day. And then I would even foreshadow and play in my head the vision of seeing my son and my daughter and my wife crying at the loss of me. And how are they going to live without me? And this would just crush me and freak me out all at the same time. And eventually I would actually have to force myself to go to sleep and come to terms with the fact of, like, okay, well, it's just time to go to sleep, and if you're gonna die, you're gonna die, so just go and die. As abysmal as that sounds, it got so bad, I ended up in the emergency room multiple times, convinced I was having a heart attack. But every time, the doctors told me the same thing. Your heart is fine. You're just having anxiety. I went to cardiologist, I did every test. I did the test where they pump ink through all of your veins and then watch it on an MRI machine to see if there's Any blockages or anything. And the doctors actually came and said, like, most people have at least some buildup in their arteries and veins or something just over time, and you have none. Like, you are completely clear. There's no restrictions of flow. And even that didn't, you know, fully help. Doctor said it was just anxiety. I said, just anxiety. This is ruining my life. This anxiety is eating me alive. So I started to lean into my faith a little bit, and it would help a little bit. I'd read scripture, and for a while I'd feel okay, but the fear would always creep back in. And then questions came. Why me? Why Jeremy? Why did God allow this to happen? What was the purpose? One day, after another panic attack, I had just left a session with the psychiatrist I had started seeing to help me cope. I got in my truck and I started driving back to work from my psychiatrist's office. And it's actually a very short drive. It's like less than a mile. And I felt the feelings coming on again. I was exhausted Mentally, physically, spiritually. I felt like I had nothing left. I didn't feel like I had nothing left to fight with. I had nothing left in me. I was sleep depraved and just tired physically and mentally. And it's like all I could think about was this anxiety and this fear of dying. As these feelings were overcoming me, I ended up pulling into a small parking lot right here by my office, and I just broke down in tears. I cried harder than I had in my entire life. At that point, I gripped my steering wheel so tightly that my hands hurt. And in that moment, I did the only thing left to do. I begged God to take this from me. I actually prayed. I said, God, I can't take this anymore. I'm done. Either take this fear away from me or take me, because I can't live with this. I don't want to live in fear. I don't want to be afraid to sleep, afraid to die, or afraid to live. I need you to take this. Please. And right there in the middle of my mess, God met me. It wasn't instant. It wasn't like flipping some switch, But I felt something shift. It was like a small spark in my spirit and a reminder that I wasn't alone. From that moment on, I started pouring myself deeper into my faith. Not just when I needed relief, but as a way of life. I started studying, praying, and asking God to reveal himself to me. And he did. I began to see that fear is just misplaced faith. When I put my faith in My fears. My fears ruled my life. But when I started putting my faith in God's plan, my life changed. Anxiety lost its grip on me and my heart still beats fast. Sometimes I still get nervous. My heart still flutters and pounds and I mean, it's even happened just having this conversation now. I still get nervous. But now I remind myself of one unshakable truth. God's timing is perfect. He never makes mistakes. And all I need to do is focus on him and he'll take care of the rest. For a long time I kept asking, why me? But now I see the better question is why did God choose me for this? Because that's what he does. He chooses us. He calls us by name. Not just for blessings, but for struggles too. Of all the places that Jeremy could have had his heart attack, God chose for it to happen in front of me. He chose me to be there, calling 911, trying to save him. He chose me to be the last person to see him alive with his eyes open. Why? I have no idea. I may never know. But I trust that if God chose me for it, he has a purpose for it as well. And he does the same with all of you. You are not a father by accident. You are not a husband, a friend, a leader, a son, a brother, or even someone listening to this podcast by accident. You were chosen. I'm not on this side of this microphone speaking to you by accident. I was chosen. God chose you for the role that you're in. He chose you to be the one carrying the weight you're carrying. And maybe it feels unfair, maybe it feels overwhelming. I'm sure it does. But through faith, we can always be confident of one thing. If God chose you for it, it's for a reason. And if it's from God, it is always for good. Because God is good and he will never put you through something that he doesn't know already that you're going to make it through as long as you stick with Him. Faith isn't about having all the answers. Faith is about trusting the one who does. When fear creeps in, you have a choice. You can either feed your fear or feed your faith. You can let your imagination run wild with worst case scenarios, or you can remind yourself that God is in control and he's already ahead of you. He knew the amount of hairs you had on your head before you were even born. He paved the path for you long before you got here. When fear creeps in,

Matthew 6: 18:51

33 says, Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you. That means you don't have to stress over every little detail. Just focus on God's kingdom and he will take care of the rest. Because when you wake up and say, lord, what do you need from me today? God looks at his angels and goes, go do this man's work. Right? It's like the perfect partnership. If you look at God and say, God, I want to serve you and I want to do your work today. And God says, if you do that and you do it with gratitude and have your heart follow him and do his work, he will literally pave your feet. His angels will come down from heaven and make it all happen. If you live for God's purpose, he will make sure you have everything you need. So this week, I want to challenge you. When fear or anxiety starts to creep in, remind yourself, God chose me for this. And if he chose you, it's for a reason. Because God is good. Instead of asking, why me? Start asking, lord, what do you need from me today? And watch how your perspective changes when bad things happen. Instead of saying, lord, why is this happening to me? Say, lord, what do I need to learn from this? If this episode spoke to you, please don't keep it to yourself. Share it with someone who needs encouragement today. And as always, stay grateful, stay faithful, and let's keep growing together. A little teaser into next episode. If fear is just misplaced faith, then what happens when we shift our faith in the right direction? Next episode, we're diving into the power of perspective. How the way you think shapes the way you live. And how a simple shift in mindset can take you from feeling stuck to feeling unstoppable and bulletproof. You won't want to miss this one. See you guys next time.