EP6: Blessings in Work Boots: Redefining What It Means to Be Blessed

What if the hardest parts of your life were actually the biggest blessings?

In this powerful and deeply personal episode of The Grateful Dad, Ryan flips the script on what it really means to be “blessed.” From life-altering losses to IVF heartbreak, from moments of raw spiritual surrender to the miracle of fatherhood—this episode digs deep into the unseen blessings that show up in work clothes.

You’ll hear:

• A moving story of pain, healing, and perspective from Ryan’s personal IVF journey
• A dramatic real-life story of a father whose trials became a platform for global impact
• The science behind why we miss the blessings right in front of us 
• Mindset shifts that help rewire your brain to see God in the mess, not just the miracles

Plus, you’ll laugh (or groan) at this week’s Dad Joke—and leave with a simple but powerful challenge that could change the way you see the next 7 days of your life.

This isn’t just about gratitude.

 It’s about training your heart to see the sacred in the struggle.

🎧 Tap play, then hit share and pass it to someone who needs to hear it.

 Let’s grow this brotherhood—and learn how to live as truly grateful dads.

Transcript

Speaker A: 0:01

Hey. Hey. What's up, dads? Welcome back to the Grateful Dad Podcast, where we talk about all things faith, fatherhood, and finding peace in the middle of real life. I'm Ryan, your host, your brother in this journey, and your fellow overthinker at 2am Today's episode, this one's called A Lesson About Blessing. Yeah, you heard me right, because we're about to flip your definition of blessed on its head. See, somewhere along the way, we started equating blessings with bank accounts, cars, cute kids, and corner offices. Don't get me wrong, those are all awesome. But if you think that's the whole story, I'm here to tell you you've been sold a half truth. Because sometimes the biggest blessings of your life, they'll come disguised as heartbreak, betrayal, a long season of waiting, or maybe even a setback so brutal it leaves you flat on your back. But you keep the faith. God uses it, he builds with it, and he blesses through it. So today we're talking about why our idea of blessings is often way off. How to recognize the hand of God in your hardest seasons, and why peace is a far bigger blessing than any paycheck. You ready? Let's go. All right, dads, gonna start off again with dad news you can use and quick confession before we jump in. When I first heard this story, I had to Google who Randall park was. And I'm guessing you probably don't know him as well. But don't come at me, okay? I'm a dad. I'm more likely to recognize a voice from a cartoon or a character from a movie that I've had to watch 37 times in a row than I am to keep up with who's who in Hollywood. So I punched his name into Google. And then it hits me. Randall Park. That's agent Jimmy Woo from the Marvel Universe or Louis Hoang from Fresh off the Boat. Or most importantly, my favorite role he ever played. And your legendary, if you know this as well, he was Asian Jim from the legendary prank episode of the Office. Yep. But today I'm not here to talk about Asian Jim or the guy on the screen. I want to talk about the man off the screen. The husband, the father, and the guy who had his entire life flipped upside down by one moment and somehow found peace and purpose in it. Randall and his wife, Jae sue park, are parents to a beautiful 12 year old girl named Ruby. Not long after she was born, Ruby was diagnosed with autism. And like so many dads listening to this right now, Randall had to face the Fact that life was never going to look the way he thought it would. He said something that really stuck with me. He said, before Ruby, I was really all about me. My goals, my time and my comfort. And then suddenly, none of that mattered anymore. Now imagine yourself in that moment. You're sitting in a sterile room, you've got a clipboard full of forms you don't understand, a doctor explaining things in words you can't quite process. And the future you picture with your kid just evaporates. That moment changes a man. Randall talks about some of the day to day stuff that really shook him. One of the hardest challenges, being something so simple that most of us overlook every day. Public restrooms. He said Ruby would have full blown meltdowns walking to a public bathroom. Not because she was misbehaving, but because the sound of the hand dryers, the echo of the tiles, the lights, and the overwhelming sensory experience of it all was just too much for her to handle. And as a dad, all he could do was hold her, try to protect her, try to help her make it through. That's when Randall and his wife found Culture City, an organization that helps places like sports arenas, airports, theme parks, and more become sensory inclusive. They now provide quiet spaces, staff training, sensory bags, and most importantly, hope. Randall got involved, not just for his daughter, but for the next dad Walking into that same storm. He didn't just get through it, he decided to help others get through it, too. That's what gets me. He could have gone full isolation mode. He could have said, we'll handle our business and disappear. But instead, he opened up. He shared the story. He chose to transform the atmosphere, not just his situation. You've probably heard the old story about the carrot, the egg, and the coffee bean, but if you haven't, you're going to hear about it. Now think about it. Boiling water makes the carrot go soft. It makes the egg turn hard. But the coffee bean changes the water around it. Randall and his family, they chose to be the Coffee Bean. And what they brood together through that pressure, through that heat, was something richer, stronger, and deeper than they ever expected. And that's what I really love. Out of the pain, they found a community. Not a pity party, not a clique, but a movement. A group of people just like them facing their own boiling water. And instead of being destroyed by it, they decided to transform it together. And man, if that doesn't sound familiar, I don't know what does. Because that is what we're building right here with the Grateful dad podcast. We're not Here because life was perfect. We're here because we've been through some stuff. We've had losses, disappointments, diagnoses, setbacks. But we didn't fold. We showed up, we leaned in, and we chose to turn pain into purpose. And maybe you're in the middle of your boiling water right now. You're trying to show up for your wife or your kid or your job or even just for yourself, but everything feels loud and chaotic and overwhelming. Maybe you're thinking, God, where's the blessing in this? And if that's. You hear me loud and clear, the boiling water is not the end of your story. God might just be brewing something beautiful. So whether it's autism, addiction, anxiety, or just the everyday weight of trying to be a good man in a broken world, don't give up. Be the coffee bean and know that right here in this community, you are not alone. All right, my brothers, let's take a deep breath, get still for a moment, and really lean into this thing. Because this is the part of the episode where we stop just listening and we start feeling. Where we stop thinking about God and maybe we start talking to him in our hearts. We've been tossing around the word blessed today, but let's slow down and get real honest for a second. Do we actually understand what it means to be blessed? Because when most people talk about it, what do they usually say? I'm blessed. I've got a great job, healthy kids, a roof over my head, a full fridge. Life's good. And hey, I'm not knocking any of that. Those are real blessings. No doubt about it. But let me challenge your perspective, because God has completely flipped mine. What if some of the hardest things in your life, the things that brought you to your knees, the seasons you begged God to take away, what if those were blessings, too? I know that hits a little heavy, but stay with me on this. Let's talk about ambition. I believe God puts ambition in us. That fire, that drive to build something meaningful, that desire to grow and chase purpose, that's from the man upstairs. We were created to build, to conquer, to lead. There is nothing wrong with ambition. In fact, it's divine. But here's what I've come to realize. Ambition without alignment will have you chasing the gift and completely missing the giver. Let me say that again for the people in the back. Ambition without alignment will have you chasing the gift and completely missing the giver. Ambition on its own will drive you to burnout. Ambition on its own will will have you proving, instead of serving ambition on Its own turns into a treadmill that never turns off. I lived that life. I thought I was building something great for God, but I was just building something big about me. And God let it go on for a while. He let me run until I ran out of road. And then the real blessing came. Not the promotion, not the success, not the applause. The blessing was the breakdown. You all have heard me say this before, and I'm never going to stop telling it, because it changed everything for me. It was a point of catalyst in my life. When I lost Jeremy, when I was literally on the floor giving him chest compressions in our shot, my world split into two. There's life before that moment, and then there's life after it. That was not the moment I met tragedy. That was the moment I met transformation. Because in that trauma, I came face to face with the truth. I had no control. And in surrendering that control, God met me with peace. Not comfort, not clarity, but deep, supernatural peace. The kind that lets you cry and breathe at the same time. The kind that reminds you you're still held, even when you're falling. AP heart. And that's when the blessings began. So let's get into our mindset. Shift right. Shift number one. Blessings come in, work close. So let's flip this. We think blessings look like deposits or new cars or perfectly behaved kids. But what if the most powerful blessings don't come with a boat? What if they show up as long nights of doubt, a difficult diagnosis, a door that slammed shut, a relationship that completely fell apart? What if your unanswered prayers were actually God's protection? Real blessings come in work boots. They don't coddle you. They stretch you. They chisel away the pieces of you that don't look like Jesus. And here's the thing. You don't always know you're being blessed while you're in it. Sometimes the pain is the wrapping paper God uses to deliver your purpose. He breaks you open not to hurt you, but to plant something inside of you. Because blessings often come in seed form, and seeds grow in the dark. So if you're in a dark place, maybe you're not buried. Maybe you're planted. Let it grow. Shift number two. Peace is greater than prosperity. Let's be real. How often do we think we'd feel better if we just had a little more? More time, more money, more support, more margin. But here's the truth. You can have everything and still feel empty. You can have nothing and still feel full. Peace is knowing the outcome is already written. Even when you can't see the last page. Peace is better than any paycheck. Peace is better than the like button. Peace is better than proving yourself. Because peace anchors you. Peace lets you laugh in the storm. Peace reminds you that you already won, even if the battle hasn't finished yet. And listen, God never said he would make life easy. He said he would be with you. And when the author of the story is in the room, you stop worrying about the next chapter. Shift number three. Let God into every room. Let's make this shift super practical. You want God to bless your house? Stop treating him like a guest. He's not the guy dropping by for Sunday dinner. He's not the emergency contact in your phone. I want God to live in every room of my life. He can have the remote. He can drink the last of the orange juice. He can open the fridge, eat the leftovers, leave the bathroom door open. And if he wants to nap in my bed, go for it. AC not cold enough. Crank that sucker down. Lord. Want to see what's in the Safe? No problem. Codes.£ £12, 34. I'm kidding. Don't get any ideas. That's not the code to my safe. Let him in. All the way in. Because here's what I've learned. God can't bless what you won't let him touch. You want your finances? Blessed? Let him in. You want your marriage? Blessed? Let him in. You want your parenting, your business, your habits, your heart? Blessed. Let him in. Every room, every drawer. Even the messy ones, Especially the junk drawers to the left of the sink by the refrigerator. Because where God is invited, peace is planted. And when he's at home in your heart, blessings will flow. Out the front door, into the driveway, into the school, into your job, into your friends, and into yours and your family's future. He's not just the giver of blessings. He is the blessing. So let me land this with some truth you can hold onto. Ambition without alignment will have you chasing the gift and completely missing the giver. Blessings don't always feel good, but they always build good. So the next time something painful happens, the next time your plans get flipped, the next time you walk into something that scares you, ask yourself this. Is this a curse? Or is this a blessing in work clothes? Because you might just be in the middle of a miracle. You might be standing on the soil where your next harvest is about to grow. And you may not understand it today, but one day you will. And when you do, you won't just say, that was hard. You'll say, that was holy. You are not forgotten. You are not cursed, and you are not unworthy. You are being built. Let God finish the work. Let the pain press into purpose. Let your blessing break you open. And let your brokenness become a blessing to someone else. Because this. This is not the end of your story. It's the beginning of your testimony. All right, dads, let me bring this home with one of the most personal stories I can share. Our journey through ivf. When I tell you this was one of the hardest, most painful and emotionally raw seasons of mine and Shannon's life, I mean it. When Shannon and I first realized we'd need to go the IVF route to have children, I felt overwhelmed, scared, and honestly angry. There was one moment that I still remember vividly. Shannon's sister and brother in law had just shared a beautiful baby announcement with the family. It should have been a joyful moment for me, but I found myself sitting silently on this red leather couch, drowning in sadness. I wasn't mad at her, not at all. I was stuck in that crushing why us? Mentality. It felt like life was moving forward for everyone else, and we were stuck in pain. And on top of all of the emotions, IVF is expensive. Like buying a new car expensive. We were staring down a mountain of finances, uncertainty, and fear. And I knew Shannon would have to endure not just emotional pain, but the physical toll of this journey as well. As the process went on, I joined a Facebook group for IVF dads. And let me tell you, that was a game changer. It was a lifeline. That group taught me the value of community, how to share struggles, how to support Shannon better, and how to turn my pain into and to purpose. There were so many difficult moments, including one where Shannon needed emergency surgery just before our embryo transfer. Watching her get wheeled away, praying she would come back okay, that's the kind of fear that cuts to the core. The whole season brought tension, arguments, tears. But it also brought resilience. It brought deeper love. And it forged a bond between Shannon and me that nothing could shake. There was a moment I couldn't give her a hormone injection and she couldn't find anyone else to help her. So she picked up the needle and gave it to herself without flinching. No hesitation, no fear, just pure strength. I was in awe of her. And I still am. This whole season brought me to my knees. I questioned God. I wrestled with my faith. But now, with the lens I have today, I can look back and see his hand in every single part of it. The finances, the timing, the people the miracles. And let me tell you, when Carter was finally born, I cried like a baby. His birth was early and we had to do a C section. The moment I heard his cry, everything changed. But here's something real I want to say to all the dads out there. Everyone always said to me, you'll feel a love like never before the moment your child is born. And while I did love Carter completely and unconditionally, with every fiber of my being, that deep ache, that like, soul bond, like rip your heart out of your chest, it didn't happen immediately. And I think that's something more dads feel but don't often talk about. Moms carry their babies for nine months or more. They share a body. They feel every hiccup, every turn, every heartbeat. That bond begins in the womb. But for us dads, it's different. We love them, yes, but the bond can take time to really sink into your bones sometimes. For me, it happened the next day. I was holding Carter, finally getting real time with him. He was sleeping in my arms. And then he stirred. He blinked open his eyes for the very first time, and he looked straight at me. That look wrecked me in every way, in the best way possible. That's when the ache came. That's when I knew this boy owned every beat of my heart. That's when I felt what everyone tried to describe. It wasn't just love. It was fatherhood setting into my soul. And now, as I raise Carter and Taylor, my parenting is shaped every day by that journey, that pain, that waiting. And then that moment of gratitude. IVF taught me what a blessing in work clothes looks like. And it gave me a deep compassion for every dad still fighting for the chance to be a dad. So to the man listening, who's in the thick of it right now, waiting, praying, questioning. Hold on. God is not finished with your story. That pain might just be the beginning of your biggest blessing. And when it comes, you'll be more than ready. Because the hard didn't break you. It built you. Alright, guys, let's land this episode with some deep reflection we've talked about a lot today. How blessings aren't always obvious. How pain can be purposeful. How peace is the real prize. And how your story, even the parts you wouldn't have chosen, is shaping something sacred. But before we wrap, I want to ask you something real. What if you've been walking right past blessings every single day simply because they didn't look the way you expected them to? What if the hard thing was the holy thing? What if the breakdown was the breakthrough. What if the waiting was the working? Now, let me hit you with something that really opened my eyes. Something backed by science. It's called the Bether Meinhof phenomenon, also known as frequency illusion. Here's how it works. Have you ever learned a new word and then suddenly you hear that word everywhere? Or maybe you're thinking about buying a red Jeep and suddenly every third car on the road you see is a red Jeep. That's not the universe messing with you. That's your brain doing what God designed it to do. Your brain has this system called the reticular activating system, or ras. It filters through the massive amount of information your senses pick up every second and decides what's relevant to you. It says, hey, this matters. Now pay attention. So when something new enters your awareness, your mind starts to notice it more often. Not because it's suddenly happening more, but because you're finally looking for it. Here's where this gets powerful. If you train your brain to look for blessings, even the small ones, even the messy ones, you will start to see blessings everywhere. It's not just wishful thinking. It's cognitive bias in action. If your default bias is to see problems, pain, and reasons to worry, that's what you'll notice. But if you start looking for signs of God's presence, glimmers of grace, moments of unexpected peace, you'll begin to see that he never left. He was just waiting for you to notice. So what if you intentionally reprogrammed your awareness, your RAs, your reticular activating system, to start scanning the world for goodness, for lessons for love, for beauty within the struggle? Imagine how your life would change if your default setting became where's the blessing in this? Because the truth is, you will always find what you're looking for. So make your bias one that looks for blessing and not burden. And the next time life gets loud and messy and. And chaotic, stop, breathe, look around and say, there you are, God. I see you in this, too. So here's the challenge this week, and it's simple, but it's powerful. Start a blessing log for real. Not like you're just going to think about it in your head, about the blessings. Start a log, and every day for the next seven days, write down what? One obvious blessing that made you smile, One blessing in disguise, something hard that's growing you. And one person you can bless. Maybe it's a word of encouragement, a favor, or even just being more present with your family. You can keep it in a journal, a notes app on Your phone, or even voice. Record it to yourself. But do it. Watch what happens when you train your mind to scan for God's goodness. To really sink this episode deep into your heart, I want you to take a moment to reflect. Maybe in prayer, in the car, over a quiet cup of coffee. Whatever works for you. But let's reflect and think about these things. Have I been limiting my definition of blessing to just the comfortable things? What painful moment from my past might have been God building me for what I have now? What area of my life have I been guarding from God that He's ready to bless if I'd just let him in? And how would my family's legacy change if I taught my kids to look for God in everything? Dads, your story matters and your perspective shapes it. You don't need more blessings. You just need better eyes to see them. Let God rewire your lens, renew your peace, and restore your purpose even through the mess. He's not just blessing your life, he's building something eternal through it. So keep showing up, keep seeking him, and keep staying grateful. Just kidding. Before we wrap up, I've got one more thing. Now, listen, if you've been riding with me for the past few episodes, you probably know what's coming next. And if you're new here, well, consider this your initiation. Because as much as we talk about mindset, faith, and deep stuff that matters, there's one thing that's just as important in every dad's toolkit. And it's a horribly corny, eye roll inducing, can't help but laugh dad joke. It's part of the gig, guys. You can grow now, but deep down, I know you all love it. So here it is. I was assaulted by a milkman earlier today. How dare he. All right, all right. Let's wrap this thing up. That was utterly hilarious. Okay, all right, all right, I'm done. I swear, if this episode spoke to you, if it helped reshape how you see the hard parts of your story, I want to challenge you to do one more thing for me. Share it. Send this episode to another dad, brother, friend, or co worker who needs to hear it. Someone who might be walking through something and doesn't even realize they're already carrying a blessing in disguise. Hit the follow button, turn on your notifications, and make sure you never miss an episode. Let's keep growing the Grateful dad community together, because this isn't just a podcast. It's a movement to build better men, stronger families, and legacies rooted in faith, resilience, and purpose. Let's build this together. And until next time, stay strong, stay present and stay grateful. Sa.