EP12: Iron Sharpens Iron… So Be Careful Who You Grind With

There’s a peace, a strength, and a confidence that only God can give. But it’s not built in isolation—it’s forged in brotherhood. In this raw and soul-stirring episode, Ryan shares the panic attacks that nearly broke him, the prayer that saved him, and the calling that followed.

You’ll hear the fire behind the #DadsSupportingDads movement, the miracle behind #1Minute1Burden, and the truth about why God is building an army of spiritual warriors right now—starting with you.

This episode will break you down, build you up, and send you out.

You won’t just hear it.

You’ll feel it.

“Your burden becomes a weapon when you give it to God.

Your pain becomes purpose when you walk in His peace.

You were forged for this.”

Transcript

Ryan: 0:00

Hey, brothers, before we get into today's episode, I need you to do something for me. Breathe. Seriously, just take one deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Because by the time we're done today, something deep inside you is going to shift, and you don't want to miss it. This isn't just another podcast episode. It's a spiritual assignment. You see, there is a peace, a strength, and a confidence that the world cannot give you. And for a long time, I searched everywhere but God to find it. I tried to earn it, force it, fake it, and none of it worked. But the day I stopped trying and started trusting, everything changed. Today we're going to talk about that piece of the peace that doesn't make any sense. The kind that stays even when everything else is falling apart. The peace that comes from knowing God, not just knowing about him. But here's the twist. That peace, that strength, that confidence, it's protected by God, but it's built in brotherhood.

Because Proverbs 27: 1:16

17 says, as iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. But let me ask you this. Who are you grinding with? Are you sharpening your spirit or slowly dulling your soul? Because iron does sharpen iron. So be careful who you're grinding with. Today I'm going to share the story of my own breaking point, where I thought I was dying. Literally, where I would lie in bed and imagine my kids growing up without their dad. And the moment, the millisecond, when I cried out to God and he actually showed up. You're going to hear about a TikTok movement that turned into a spiritual revival about men who've carried the heaviest burdens in their lives in silence. And how we're not just venting anymore, we're unloading, we're locking arms, and we are becoming walking nightmares for the enemy. So if you're tired of barely holding it together, if you've been waking up with anxiety, lying to your wife, battling shame, and pretending like you're fine, this episode's for you. Let's go. So here's the real news today. It's not about gas prices or politics or whatever's trending on the morning shows. It's not even about something you'll find on the front page of the paper. The real news, it's in the comment sections. It's in the captions. It's in the eyes of men you've never met until now. Because what's happening with the dads supporting dads, and the one minute, one burden challenge is not just inspiring. It's sacred. Let me tell you what I've seen and why it's left me in tears. More than once I've seen a man do a plank with his daughter, sitting on his back and confess the darkest corners of his heart, his addictions, his shame, his fear. And then he said something that I'll never forget. I'm terrified that one day I'm going to meet a struggle I'm not strong enough to overcome. That one stopped me in my tracks, because I've felt that. And if you're listening right now, you probably have too. Another man was trembling with tears in his eyes, admitted that he's afraid to show his real self because somewhere deep down, he believes he's not worthy of love, not worthy of respect, not worthy of even being known. Because if they really knew him, they'd walk away. And then there's the man who hoisted his three year old son up on his shoulders just months after back surgery to repair a spine that was literally broken. And with the weight of that little boy on his body, he unloaded the weight of his soul. He spoke about depression, about the mental tug of war between his past and the future he's trying to build for his family. He said, some mornings it's a battle just to brush my teeth. And then there was the one that shattered me. A father who literally lifted his entire family, yes, his wife and his kids, onto his arms and back. As he knelt under the weight, he said, this is the weight I carry every day. And I wouldn't trade them for the world. But I need you to know, just because I'm strong enough to carry them doesn't mean I'm not struggling. That's what this movement is. It's not just a video trend, it's a rescue mission. Because men aren't just posting, they're pouring. They're confessing. They're finally saying the things they've been dying to say for decades. The pain they've buried under work, distractions, addictions, or silence. And even more powerful than what's being said is what's happening after they say it. They're not being mocked, they're not being dismissed. They're being surrounded by brothers, by strangers who feel like family, by an army of faithful men saying, you're not crazy, you're not broken, and you're not alone. Listen to me, brother. This is revival. Not in a tent, not in a stadium, but in a vertical video. In the comments, in the hearts of men who've decided that enough is enough. The enemy has had our voices in chains long enough. Our stories buried long enough, our hearts silent long enough. But not anymore. Because when men lock arms under the word of God, when we speak truth in love, when we sharpen one another in faith, the devil has no idea what to do with that. So if you're listening to this, if you feel something stirring in your gut, something welling up behind your eyes, that's not emotion, brother. That's the Holy Spirit calling you out of hiding. And I'm here to tell you God is building an army and he's looking for soldiers. And if you're still breathing, if you're still here, then, yes, he's looking at you. You've heard the stories. You've felt the weight. You've seen what happens when a man finally takes the mask off and lays his burden down. It's not weakness. It's warfare. It's not emotional oversharing. It's spiritual release. But here's the truth. That kind of healing doesn't happen by accident. It's not just about showing up. It's about shifting how you show up. If you want to walk in God's peace, if you want to carry strength that doesn't crack under pressure, if you want. If you want the kind of confidence that doesn't come from your job, your bank account, or your reflection, then you need to start thinking different. You need to start living different. And you need to start sharpening different. So let's shift. Let's talk about the mindsets that sharpen a spiritual warrior. Let's get your edge back. Shift number one. If iron sharpens iron, be mindful who you grind with. Everybody loves the verse. As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.

Proverbs 27: 8:22

17. It sounds good, right? But let me hit you with the part that no one talks about. Not every man you're around is. Is iron. Let that sink in for a second. You see, sharpening only happens when like meets. Like when two men are both pursuing truth, walking with God, and willing to bring pressure and friction. That's when sparks fly and edges are refined. But what happens when you grind against the wrong metal? What happens when iron meets copper? You wear down. You dull out. You start slipping instead of cutting. You look up one day and wonder, why am I exhausted? Why am I short tempered? Why can't I hear from God anymore? Check your circle. Some of you are grinding with people who are robbing your edge. They don't challenge your spirit. They coddle your weaknesses. They don't Point you to Christ. They praise your compromise. They don't sharpen your mission, they distract you from it. Let me be real with you. If your closest relationships don't call you higher, you're not sharpening, you're going soft. God didn't call you to live your life as a butter knife. He called you to be a sword. Precise, powerful and battle ready. So take inventory. Who are you grinding with? Do they challenge your integrity? Do they pray for your family? Do they ask you about your purpose, your habits, your heart? Or do they just offer another round of drinks and surface level conversation? I'm not saying cut everyone off guys, but I am saying protect your edge. Because the dullest men are the ones who thought proximity was enough. That just being around other guys meant they were growing. Let me be clear. Sharpening doesn't happen through proximity. It happens through pressure, through intentionality, through God filled connection. Iron sharpens iron. So be mindful, be intentional. Be surrounded by brothers who grind you the right way. Because a dull blade doesn't just fail to cut, it gets people hurt. And you were never meant to be dull. You were forged for war. Shift number two. The real strength is in facing your demons, not hiding them. I feel like I'm going to say let me be real with you a lot in this episode, because that's my plan here. I'm going to be real with you again right now. Some of the strongest looking men you know, the ones with the confident smiles, the clean trucks, the great jobs, the quote unquote perfect family photos, are carrying hell inside of their minds. They've been battling demons for years, but they've gotten really good at hiding them. And for too long, the world has applauded that. We confuse silence with strength. We confuse emotional numbness with spiritual resilience. But let me tell you something. True strength is not how well you bury your pain. True strength is how boldly you face it. You want to know what happens when you keep shoving that stuff down? When you never speak about the shame, the addiction, the fear, the guilt, the intrusive thoughts you're terrified to admit to anyone. It turns sour. It starts to rot. And that rot doesn't just stay in one place. It seeps into everything. Your peace, your marriage, your fatherhood, your focus, your joy, your purpose. Before long, you're sitting at dinner with your family, smiling on the outside, but inside you're screaming. I don't know how much longer I can hold this together. Brother, hear me. You don't heal what you hide. You can only heal what you Face and listen. I know you were probably raised to man up, to push through, to never show weakness, to never admit anything's wrong. But let me flip the script on you. It takes 10 times more strength to say I'm struggling than it does to stay silent and suffer. It takes holy courage to look your demons in the eye and say, you don't run me anymore. You don't get to define me. My God is stronger than you, and I'm done hiding. And when you speak it out loud, when you bring that burden into the light, it loses power. Shame can't grow where truth is spoken. You weren't made to carry this alone. You weren't made to battle in the dark. So if you've been holding something for years, if there's a part of your story you've never told, if there's a weight you've convinced yourself is just part of being a man, let today be the day you face it. Let this moment be your moment. Let your strength be redefined. Because God doesn't bless masks. He blesses honesty. He blesses surrender. And he gives peace to the man who finally puts the sword down and says, God, I can't fight this one without you. Shift 3. Your pain has purpose and nothing disqualifies you. There's a lie the enemy loves to whisper in the ears of men. You're too far gone. You've messed up too many times. If they really knew what you've done, they'd walk away. You'll never be used by God. You're disqualified. But here's the truth. There's no such thing as disqualified in the kingdom of God because you didn't earn your seat at the table. Jesus did. That shame you've been dragging behind you like a rusted anchor. That thing you hope no one ever finds out about. The story you've buried so deep you forgot what freedom feels like. That's exactly what God wants to use. God doesn't skip over broken men. He chooses them. He doesn't avoid painful pasts. He redeems them. He doesn't waste one ounce of your struggle. You think your mess makes you unworthy? God says your mess is the material for your ministry. Your story, yes, your exact story might be the key that unlocks another man's prison. The burden you've been carrying might be the bridge to someone else's breakthrough, but not if you keep it hidden. Not if you let shame keep the microphone. Let me make this crystal clear. There is nothing you have done. Nothing you have thought and nothing you have survived that is too heavy, too ugly, or too broken for God to use. Moses murdered a man. David committed adultery and arranged a death. Peter denied Jesus three times, and yet they were all called forgiven, restored, and used mightily. So what makes you think your story is any different? I need you to understand this. Your pain is not a curse. It's a calling. And when you hand it to God, he'll do what only God can do. He'll turn it into purpose. He'll turn it into fire. He'll turn it into fuel. Because you weren't saved to sit quietly. You were rescued to rescue others. You were redeemed so your life could shine light into darkness. So here's what I want you to say out loud right now. Even if it feels awkward. I'm serious. Say this out loud. My pain has a purpose. My past doesn't disqualify me. It prepares me. I will not waste what I've survived. Brother, God didn't bring you through all that just to leave you quiet and cautious. He brought you through it so you could show the world what freedom looks like. Shift number four. Be a spiritual warrior, not a worldly warrior. Let me ask you something that just might flip your whole world upside down. Are you a warrior or a worrier? Because the world has enough worriers. Enough men walking around defeated before the day even starts. Enough dads carrying anxiety like it's part of their wardrobe. Enough husbands trying to micromanage every outcome because they don't trust anyone, including God. We've been trained to worry, to overthink, to fix, to fear. But that's not who you are anymore. If you've been saved by Jesus, if the spirit of God lives in you, then listen to me closely. You are not just some dude trying to hold it all together. You are a spiritual warrior built for holy battle. Let that sink in. You carry the same power that raised Christ from the grave, not just to survive, but to advance, to speak life into dark places. To fight for your family, to rescue your brothers, to stomp the enemy into the dirt with peace in your chest and scripture in your mouth. The problem is, most men don't know the authority they carry. They're walking around packing divine artillery, but still living like spiritual civilians. Not you. Not anymore. From this moment forward, you don't walk like a warrior. You walk like a weapon forged in the fire of God's grace. You lift your head, you straighten your spine. You speak the name of Jesus over your house, your marriage, your. Your kids and your calling. You fill your Mind with scripture, you drown your fear in worship. You stop scrolling through TikTok looking for motivation, and you become the motivation for someone else. You want to know what the enemy fears the most. Not a man who reads his Bible, Not a man who goes to church, not even a man who prays. Every now and then, the enemy fears the man who knows who he is in Christ. The man who wakes up and says, try me, devil. I've got heaven backing me up. The man who walks into battle grinning because he already knows how the war ends. So if you've been worrying, stressing, doubting, fearing, let this be the shift. From this day on, when the enemy tries to rattle, you laugh, then kneel, then rise. Because you're not just saved, you're sent. You're not just forgiven, you're armed. You're not just a believer. You're a fighter. The devil should have taken you out when he had the chance, but he didn't. And now you're awake. Shift number five. New levels, new devils, but the same God. Some of you are finally stepping into your purpose. You're praying more. You're leading your family different. You're speaking truth. You're healing from trauma. You're finally sharpening your edge again. But then, boom. Out of nowhere, the anxiety comes back. The temptation shows up. Old habits start whispering again. Work falls apart. You feel spiritually attacked like never before. You start asking God, I thought I was doing better. Why is it getting harder? Let me tell you why. Because new levels bring new devils. The closer you get to the life God called you to live, the louder the enemy gets. Because the enemy doesn't attack men who are coasting. He attacks men who are climbing. That fear you're feeling, it's not a sign you're losing. It's proof that you're dangerous now. And I need you to hear this in your spirit. The attacks don't mean you're off track. They mean you're walking straight into enemy territory. And they are terrified of what happens if you keep going. You want to know why you're under fire? Because you're not just a believer anymore. You're becoming a leader. You're not just healed, you're being used. You're not just a dad. You're becoming a legacy builder. You're a kingdom threat, a spiritual wrecking ball. And yes, the attacks might keep coming, but guess what? You've got the same God. Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever.

Hebrews 13: 21:45

8. He didn't bring you this far to leave you he didn't light your path just to watch you fall. He didn't give you that burden just to crush you. He gave it to you because he's about to use it to change someone else's life. So when the attacks come, and they will, here's your move. Don't panic. Don't backpedal. Don't start doubting everything God said just because the road feels a little bumpy. Drop to your knees and pray. Then rise like a man who's already won. Pray with authority. Pray with expectation. Pray with the kind of trust that makes the devil nervous. Because every time you pray, instead of panic, every time you stand, instead of shrink, every time you laugh, instead of fear, the enemy loses ground and you gain ground. You are no longer easy prey. You are now heaven's weapon of choice. So walk boldly. Pray harder. Speak louder. And when you feel the storm starting to form, smile. Because if the enemy's still attacking, that must mean you're still advancing. We've talked about mindset. We've talked about sharpening your edge, stepping into purpose, praying like a warrior. But now I want to talk to you about what happens when the battle hits your bedroom. When the war isn't out there. It's in here, in your chest. Because for all the strength we carry, there are moments, quiet, terrifying moments, when the strongest man in the room feels like a little boy grasping for air, begging for peace, afraid he might not make it through the night. And I know that place because I've been there not once, not twice, but many, many nights. So before we close out today's episode, I need to take you into the most personal, painful, and powerful part of my story. Because someone listening right now is where I was. And I need you to know you are not alone. Let me ask you a question, man to man. What did you think about when you woke up this morning? What was your very first thought? Was it peaceful? Was it steady? Or was it chaos? Because I remember when I'd wake up, and before my feet even hit the floor, my mind was already under siege. Bills, work, the kids, my wife. Is the car going to start? Is there going to be traffic? Am I ******** this all up? And that was on a good morning. But at its worst, I wasn't just waking up stressed. I was waking up terrified. Some mornings, I'd come out of a dead sleep with one thought pulsing through every vein in my body, which was, I'm about to die. I'd lie there, heart pounding, short of breath, tingling in my arm, chest tight, my mind Screaming. This is it. This is the big one. You're not waking up tomorrow. And I knew it was anxiety. I had every test, every scan, every blood panel done. The doctors told me I was fine, but I didn't feel fine. Because when your brain goes to war with your body, logic doesn't stand a chance. And I can't even tell you how many nights I laid in bed feeling that wave of panic start to rise, trying to calm myself down while also trying to come to terms with this thought. That snuggle with Carter tonight, that was the last one. That was the last time he'd feel my arms around him. The last time he hears me say, I love you, buddy. And Taylor, she's never going to remember me clearly. Who's going to show her what kind of man she deserves if I'm gone? I could see the funeral. I could picture my family's faces, My wife having to tell my kids. Daddy didn't wake up this morning. I was in bed, heart racing, chest tight. I was grieving my own death before it even happened. I wasn't living. I was surviving the idea of dying. And night after night, I would just lie there, staring at the ceiling, begging myself, come on, Ryan, just go to sleep. If you're gonna die, you're gonna die. There's nothing you can do about it. Just close your eyes and go. And that. That's when I broke. I remember a night after one of my worst episodes, after I had already had the moment in the truck where I cried out and said to God, take the panic attacks or take me. I can't live like this anymore. And still here I was, lying in bed. The panic was building again. The heart rate, the tingling arm, the shortness of breath. I sat up, tried scrolling TikTok, counting backwards, splashing cold water on my wrists. None of it worked. The room felt smaller and smaller, like the air was just being vacuumed out. And then, with tears in my eyes and no strength left in my body, I shut my eyes and I prayed. And God, I need you. Please take this from me. Please. I know it's not real, but I can't fight this demon by myself. And what happened next? I don't know if I have words strong enough for it. Because the very moment I said his name, the very moment I surrendered, it was like something broke open in heaven. A warmth came over me from the top of my head to the tips of my toes. Not just emotional, physical, like I had been lowered into a hot tub. The absolute perfect temperature. Peace wrapped around me like A weighted blanket from the throne room of heaven. The fear was gone. The noise silenced. The tension dissolved. And I didn't just feel calm. I felt held. I felt washed. I felt loved. That was the first time I physically felt the presence of God in my body. And it changed me. Because I had tried everything else and nothing worked. But when I hit my knees, when I gave the burden to God, when I spoke it out loud, everything shifted. The fear that had gripped me for months lost its hold in an instant. And I know there is a man listening to this right now who is right where I was. You're tired. You're scared. You're strong for everyone else, but shattered inside. So let me look into your soul and say this to you. You are not crazy. You are not broken. And this is not how your story ends. This is the moment you stop carrying it alone. This is your truck moment. This is your bedside. Surrender. Cry out to him. Speak his name. And watch what happens when the God of the universe doesn't just hear you. He holds you. That panic attack didn't kill me. It saved me. Because it led me back to the only one who could actually carry the weight. And he's waiting for you, too. That night changed everything for me. Not because the fear stopped forever, but because I finally knew where to bring it. I had been fighting in my own strength, trying to duct tape my soul back together, trying to be strong for everyone else while falling apart in silence. But when I finally cried out to God, when I let him in, that's when the peace came. That's when the healing began. That's when I stopped surviving and started surrendering. And listen, if you've made it this far in the episode, then I know something's stirring inside of you. Maybe you feel cracked open. Maybe your eyes are glassy. Maybe your heart's racing. Maybe you feel a strange mix of relief and responsibility. Good. That's not emotion. That's awakening. And before we close this episode, I want to speak directly into your spirit, to leave you with a final fire that you can carry with you into every room you walk into from this moment on. This is your Grateful dad wisdom. Lean in for this, because by the end of this episode, something in your soul should feel different. This is not a podcast. It's a battle cry. It's a homecoming. Because today, everything changes. When a man finds peace in God, something sacred happens. The fog lifts. All the chaos, the pressure, the noise that's been screaming at you day and night, it doesn't matter anymore. Because suddenly you see clearly, you know who you are, and you know whose you are, and you know who you're called to serve. You stop worrying about the bills, the boss, the balance in your account, the burdens in your chest, because you realize something eternal. None of us are getting out of here alive. But some of us, we're gonna go out on fire because we found peace in the one who overcame death itself. You stop fearing the storm because you're walking next to the God who controls the clouds. You stop stressing about where to go, because your shepherd isn't just leading you, he's lighting your path. And when that peace fills you, you can feel it in your bones. You start walking with your head high, not with pride, but with presence. You speak softer, but carry more weight. People feel it just by being around you. When they see your face on TikTok, when they hear your voice in a podcast, they don't just hear you. They feel him. That's not hype. That's what happens when a man is fully surrendered to God. But here's what I need you to know. This episode wasn't just for your healing. It was for your commissioning. God is building an army, and he's sending soldiers straight into enemy territory. Not to fight with fists, but with faith. Not to scream, but to shine. To walk into the darkest places and say, brother, I've been where you are, and I know the way out. And guess what? That soldier he's sending, it's you. Because when you cried out, he didn't just save you, he equipped you. He empowered you. And now he's sending you to do the same for someone else. So what do you do now? You hit your knees and you pray. And I'm not talking about some soft bedtime whisper. I'm talking about a warrior's prayer. The kind that Shakespeare your walls and shatters your chains. Call out to your God. Pray for peace. Pray for hope. Pray for fire. Ask him to send faithful brothers to walk beside you. And I mean this. With every ounce of love in me, I pray he sends me. Because I got your back. Brother, you are not alone. You never were. Your Father in heaven has been watching over you this whole time. Just wait for you to turn your face toward him and say, I'm ready. And when you do, he'll fill your cup so full of peace, so overflowing with joy, that it'll spill onto everyone around you. Your wife, your kids, your co workers, complete strangers. And they'll all say, what happened to him? And you'll smile and say, I met the king and he gave me my orders. Now I'm walking in the light and I've got brothers beside me and hell's got a real problem now. Alright brother, this is it. If you've been listening to this episode and thinking, man, this is exactly what I needed, then you need to know something. This wasn't me. This was God putting a sword in your hand. The only question now is, are you going to carry it? Because this is your moment. This is your line in the sand. You don't go back to normal after this. You don't go back to scrolling through TikTok, numbing your pain. You don't go back to hiding in your own house, living behind a smile and pretending everything's fine. You go forward with fire, with purpose and with peace that makes no sense to this world. Here's what I want you to do. Hit your knees and pray. Not just once, not just tonight, every day. Start your battle on your knees. Second, I want you to get into the word. Start small, start messy, but just start three. And this one's going to be tough for a lot of you, but I really want you to do it. Speak your burden out loud. Go on TikTok and post your own one minute, one burden challenge. Or say it to a friend, say it to your wife, say it to God, but don't carry it in silence anymore. I want you to encourage another brother. Send a text, leave a comment, pray for a stranger, Be the iron that sharpens someone else. Number five. I want you to surround yourself with warriors. Build a tribe, build a fire. Get around men who make you stronger, not safer. Because now you're not just healed, you've been recruited. You're not just a believer, you're a warrior. And warriors don't retreat. They rise, they march, they rescue, and they don't stop until the mission is complete. So here's your Live like a man who knows who walks beside him and fight like a man who knows how the story ends. Alright, I know we've been throwing spiritual haymakers all episode, but we can't end this without one more sharp edged moment. So here it is, your official Grateful dad joke of the week. Why did the dad refuse to sharpen his knife with his buddy's spoon? Because proverbs says iron sharpens iron, not serial killers. Alright, that one was kind of terrible. I know you're groaning. I'll be here all week, or at least until my kids beg me to stop. But for real, if a dad joke can sharpen your soul even a little bit, Then we're doing something right around here. All right, brother, you've heard the stories. You felt the weight. You've cried the tears, and you've lit the fire. Now it's time to do something with it. Because this isn't just a podcast you stumbled across. This is a divine appointment, a moment in time where God said, I'm showing up for you right here. And in this voice, in this story, in this message. And now he's saying, go. Here's how you step forward. First, subscribe to the podcast so you never miss what God's pouring out through this movement. Share this episode with a brother who's been struggling. Someone who needs to know he's not alone. Text it, DM it, drop it in a group chat. This could be his moment. Get online and join the dad Supporting Dads movement on TikTok. Post your own. One minute, one burden challenge. Be the man who goes first. Be the voice that breaks someone else's silence. Next, I want you to get in the word. Open your Bible this week like it's oxygen, because it is. And if you ever need someone to pray with you, message me. Seriously, I'm not just a podcast voice. I'm a brother. And I've got your back. And before you go, let me challenge you one more time. Don't just feel this episode. Don't just agree with it. Live it. Because if all we do is listen and nod, we miss the miracle. So go. Lead your family. Text a brother. Pray out loud. Stand tall and walk with peace. So loud the enemy hears you coming. Thank you for walking this one with me. I'm Ryan Daniello, and this has been the Grateful dad podcast. Until next time, Keep showing up, keep sharpening others, and never forget, you were forged for this. Sam Sa. Sam.